#fuck you scanlan 💙

[ravenquingvax]

Okay but I rewatched The Feast Of Realms again and I can't get this stupid scenario out of my head now - Fuck you, Scanlan Shorthalt.

Fuck you.

Anyway-

So remember how when Grog picks "chenga" for the safe word when Vax goes off to do hot rogue things, Scanlan comments on how he personally uses "mommy"?

I can't stop thinking about what if, while panicking and thinking he's dying, Vax accidentally said "mommy" instead of "chenga" before he passed out?

Like. Just, imagine you are Sylas Briarwood in that moment.

You live a pretty uneventful life in the castle you took over with your sexy wife who works for a god in the making and the teenage girl your wife forcibly adopted.

Then one day you get invited to an important state dinner and your wife decides to take the opportunity to make sure nobody pays Whitestone a visit and to ensure there's nothing to worry about.

Now you probably don't get to do lots, your wife is too paranoid about your health and safety despite you being a very big and strong vampire now.

You expect this all to be boring and quite uneventful, maybe dangerous even giving how you have to avoid direct sunlight now.

Then you get ambushed by mortals on the way over and your wife lets you stretch your legs to deal with the poor bastards.

You think, great! This is probably the most I'll get to do during this.

Then you arrive at the dinner to find the brother of your adopted daughter is still alive and angry at you + he has friends now.

And while you charm the Sovereign, your wife decides to passively torment the boy for fun.

Then when the boy meltsdown, you and wifey take that as your que to leave - you have not only secured your safety from the state but now the boy has lost trust and respect from the Sovereign.

But getting to your guest room you find a spy has broken in and that he looks like the pretty girl who was here with the angry boy, but this spy tries to play servant and even flirts with you and your wife.

You decide to have him for dinner and even get a lil handsy with him, possibly as foreplay for fun times with the wifey afterwards 👀😳👀, but then he escapes and yeets himself out a window.

So of course you give chase, only for this motherfucker to call you mommy of all things before he passes out in a bloodied fountain.

Like, how do you react to that???