#fuckyeahpedroboys

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Javier's Peña's bulge

Bulge-by-pants analysis: the greatest hits

There's just too much of this bulge to be contained to one post, so there will be one more to come. With so much content to play with, I thought long and hard on how to approach this and landed here. Cos we all appreciate a tight trouser, don't we?

Dark grey jeans: This is one of his best pairs and he wears it several times in season 2. But this scene with the holy trinity, his bulge really pops - even compared to the stiff competition from his partners.

Grey dress pants: Even lurking, half-blurred in the background, the bulge makes its presence felt. These pants are cut so well, it's giving me Dave York bulge vibes.

Khaki dress pants: This is a looser suit that doesn't quite cradle his bulge the way the grey pants do. But with his ridiculous manspreading (is it really necessary, Javier?), you can clearly see the weight of his bulge pressing against the seams.

Mid-blue straight-leg jeans: Look, I know I'm not supposed to but this is the outfit Javi wears for the insanely hot scene where he kicks down Maritza's door and throws a chair. Violence is bad guys, but these jeans are downright sinful - the way they gently cup that gorgeous bulge, and look at that side bulge action - I am unwell. Thank you Maddie @imaswellkid for ID'ing this scene for me ❤️

True blue looser cut jeans: I love this look. I'm distraught that we don't see that jacket again (I don't think we do anyway), and those jeans? They're looser than what he usually wears by some distance but even so the bulge still takes glorious centre stage.

Dark wash jeans: I believe we see these jeans quite a lot. It's more subtle than the lighter washes, but you can't miss that hulking bulge between those legs.

Dark brown pants: These pants don't look like denim to me, maybe a corduroy-ish material? I bookmarked this from one of @the-ginger-hedge-witch posts, so full credit to Ren for bringing this ridiculous bulge to my attention. I mean, it's not even an indescript bulge. You can see the actual business. That's why they had to shoot from a safe distance, any closer to the camera and we'd all simultaneously combust.

True blue boot cut jeans: Oh these fucking pants. Sent to me by @iamskyereads. This one is personal because I have a pair in the exact shade of blue. But look at this - look at the camera work, how it zeroes in on that ridiculous bulge, framed so perfectly by those strong thighs and how it's straining against the zipper.

The ultimate grey jeans: Submitted by @imaswellkid. The sheer amount of bulge in this episode is obscene. But none as obscene as this scene. A still screenshot is needed to fully appreciate the heft of the bulge sitting at the apex of those thighs. How did the camera person not pass out while filming this will forever be a mystery.

Seriously, look at it™.

I don't know about you, but I'm thirsty now and need a cold drink to calm down. More bulge to come.

Related: Frankie’s Bulge

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Pedro boys facial hair matrix

Happy 2023 ❤️ Starting the year as I intend it to continue - filled with Pedro boys! This one has been in the works for ages - I’m a bit of a compulsive organizer, so this was naturally always going to be a project I would take on.

Paging sideburns anon 🪒 who’s been sending in great asks which I’ve tagged fuckyeahmensgrooming if you’re interested in more posts on this topic!

* click on image for higher resolution

Commentary below the cut (for once):

Barely There

Dave York, Max Lord, Max Phillips, Marcus Pike

This used to be my least favourite Pedro boys look, but Dave York changed my mind. Because it's almost always moustached, there's something almost sensual about being able to see the bare skin above his lips and below the nose. Also, I'm not a Marcus P girl, but dang, he looks good with this look.

Stache Only

Jack Daniels, Javier Pena seasons one to three

This is my favourite Pedro boys look - the clean shaven jaw does things to me, especially with the fluffy sideburns. I know I cheated using Javi’s from all seasons, but this look is so iconically Javier, I guess that's why we don't see often. It's so intrinsically linked to this character.

Half Fuzz

Din Djarin, Pero Tovar, Frankie Morales, Ezra

Trimmed close to the skin and quite low on the jawline, this is the most understated look out of the categories in my opinion.

Fully Bearded

Dieter Bravo, The Thief, Javi Gutierrez, Joel Miller

We are definitely in Pedro's bearded era, with the upper line of the beard sitting higher on the cheek, and he wears it so well. Joel's beard with the grays in particular drives me wild.

Wrap Around

Commandante Veracruz, Oberyn Martell, Marcus Moreno, Pietro Alvarez

Definitely the most transformative look on Pedro since it’s not how he normally grows his facial hair, and personally it's not my favourite look. Having said that, I do think it's a dramatic variation to add to his portfolio of looks.

That was a fun round-up! Thoughts and discourse welcome as always. I also have a hair matrix in the pipeline, stay tuned!

Compilations Masterlist

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Why is it so hot when men answer the phone with their surname.

I learned how to add text to gifs. I know the timing looks off but that's the best I can do now lol.

Compilations Masterlist

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Pedro boys grimed up

He's a 10, but slap on some blood, dirt, sweat or monster goo and I am deceased.

Made this ages ago and for some reason never posted it. I remember seeing a meme about how some men look much better grimed up than cleaned up. So here are our Pedro boys all grimed up.

Frankie: he just looks better with his cheek sliced open and oozing blood. I didn't make the rules.

Javier: this is the only way I want Javier. Hot and bothered.

Pero: he hasn't showered for months and his back is killing him. I'll still take him though.

Ezra: he just looks perpetually covered in a sheen of sweat and half-dead even if he isn't. Something about being in space.

Din: he has no right looking this good covered in mud with shitty, broken armour.

Din in beskar: I want to put him in a hot bath and wash off that goo. He's waterproof right?

Dieter: I'm so disappointed we didn't get our trashcan man making more of a mess while high. I guess toilet-hugging Dieter is the most grimy we'll see him. But look at bb run.

All gifs above by me

The TLOU teaser came out after I finished the list, so here he is in all his glory -

Joel: I don't have the brain power to come up with any commentary yet. Check back in 37 business days.

In conclusion: I just want to put all of them in the shower (and hop in after them)

If you'd like to be tagged in future instalments, please sign up in my taglist!

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Fuck Yeah compilations

All compilations have been moved to my other blog, @fuckyeahpedropascal - please follow for updates!

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Pedro boys: guns & watch appreciation post

I'm back with my bullshit. I'm giving @mandoblowmybackout a break from being my only sounding board for my weird kinks lol ilysm ❤️

Javi G: matching gold watch and guns. I approve.

Javier: fucking hot. That’s all.

Frankie: love a guy with a utilitarian watch. And the way he handles that gun? You kidding me??

Jack: a square-faced watch? There never was a classier cowboy.

Din: don’t need a watch when you got a *cough* gun *cough* that big.

Dieter: …just kidding, he doesn't own either.

I’m done now. Sorry lol. I need to get help for my watch kink. And these stupid posts now have a dedicated section in my Masterlist sorry not sorry.

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Frankie Morales crossing his arms

Happy Frankie Friday my fellow hoes 😘

So the original plan was to do a compilation of Pedro boys crossing their arms (because arms). But when I started rewatching Triple Frontier, I realised that Frankie bb has his arms crossed in like 87.34% of his scenes, so here we are.

Classic arm cross with a classic jacket.

A variation. This is not the only time he touches his mouth while half-crossing his arms.

My favourite shot of BB in the whole movie. Those puppy eyes, that little insecure shrug. There's a reason why I chose this to be the cover gif for upcoming Grays.

Re: aforementioned point about variation and mouth touching. That full-length shot of him is *chef's kiss* and this is the only time we see his biceps while crossing his arms 🥵

Crossing arms for warmth...

... And to protect himself from the cruel, cruel world.

I might still do another compilation of other Pedro boys crossing their arms 👀

Let me know in comments or reblogs if you’d like to be tagged in future gif compilations 💙

Taglist: @mandoblowmybackout @lowlights

All gifs by me

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Pedro boys yelling - ranked by intensity

Pssst… you can now sign up for Pedro boys gif compilations on my taglist 🙌🏼

Ok I had way too much fun with this one. More Pedro boys gif compilations on my Masterlist.

Ezra: 10/10

Yelling while murdering for survival. Boy is intense.

Javier: 9/10

Yelling while seeking vengeance for his friend's death. Justice for Carrillo, always 💔

Pero: 8/10

Yelling at bff whom he just saved from supernatural creature. It's very fake CGI, but still.

Jack: 7/10

Yelling at colleagues to save them from enemy fire (while secretly double crossing them).

Frankie: 6/10

Obviously didn't yell loud enough to convince friends to not overload plane. Poor effort, sorry bb girl.

Javi: 5/10

Why you yelling though bb?? Other than to show off that cleavage and those neck muscles? He gets 2 points just for that.

Dieter: 1/10

Yelling cos he doesn't like the colour of the sticker that people stuck on him. Chill out, D, we'll get you another one.

All gifs by me

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No you talk to me about Frankie’s watch. Pretty please 😊

Frankie's Watch

What's this? A watch post not instigated by myself, but by someone else? 😱 I know I promised you an essay @imaswellkid, but it's degenerated into one of my rambling gif compilations. Happy Frankie Friday!

I originally thought that maybe Santi sourced the watches for all the guys as part of the gear for their mission, but from the gif above (excellent, excellent choice btw), the other person in the frame is wearing a different watch. You can also see Frankie wearing the same watch at the boxing match before the mission.

I love this because it means Frankie chose this watch himself. And it's just like him. It's solid, sturdy and practical. It looks like it's waterproof and made of durable stuff - just the kind of watch an ex-military guy would wear. Not to mention that it goes with both civilian and military clothing.

I'm a whore for glimpsing the underside of watches so here's a gif of that.

Look at the details of that watch. I love that it's chunky. A big boy needs a big watch. I also love the grooves on that strap, they lend a really sporty look to the watch.

I was surprised that there are two pushers on the side of the watch, so my guess while it's a digital watch, it's not a smart watch like the Apple Watch that can be controlled by an app (idk is that how Apple Watch works?). Of course Frankie wouldn't buy into that kind of nonsense.

And then... the watch in action? Restraining some guy, staring down the barrel of the gun. Lord have mercy. I can't quite catch what's on the display screen, but it looks like a classic digital watch that shows several categories of information. Because our guy is nothing if not a no-nonsense decision-maker, and he needs stone cold facts to do that.

I was a bit sad Frankie wasn't wearing the watch in the end, but to be fair, it wouldn't have quite gone with that deliciously half-buttoned shirt with the crane print. I hope it made it though - I mean it did go through a helicopter crash, lots of trauma and crossed the ocean in a speedboat (am I talking about Frankie or the watch? Not sure).

One last gif because I've never seen this before - I love that he's wearing his watch for this glamour shot.

I could've put some of this post under the cut, but I decided to subject you all to the full extent of my watch kink. Thanks Maddie for this super fun ask 😉

Related posts:

Javier Peña's watch

Guns and watches appreciation post

Frankie Morales crossing his arms

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I love him but Jesus Christ Dieter needs therapy.

Honestly, most Pedro boys do...