#fun game to play: guess my favorite group from this lineup

[dubioushonour]

Been sorting and restructuring my vocaloid playlist again which means it's time for another edition of "songs I want in project sekai"

I'm Glad You're Evil Too- PinocchioP swings N25 and WxS for me pretty consistently, but this swings N25 specifically. This feels like SUCH a Kanade and Mizuki sort of song to me, honestly.

Childish War - was listening to the Juby/Rachie English cover of this recently, I think the chart would be fun. This is a Tenma Siblings song.

Melancholic- one of my favorite junky songs!!! I think a MMJ cover of this would be delightful. I saw Airi fanart of this the other day and it's been rent free in my brain since.

[It's Not] World's End - This is VERY much an N25 sort of song to me, but it's also got a really nice jaunt to it that I think would make it very fun to play.

The Weekend is Coming- Thought about this recently because i had to find a new video for 16bit Wars for my playlist. It's still really good!!! I still really like it. A pretty equal contender for a MMJ or WxS cover.

Fire Flower- songs that still make me cry in this the year of our lord 2023. An easy WxS cover, I wanna hear a Tsukasa solo version of this.

again - I listened to a remix of this recently and it strikes me as an Ena solo. I would even hazard this as an Ena and Mizuki cover.

Saihate- I feel like this is such an old classic? I'm kind of impressed it's not in the game as far as I know? I'm pretty sure it's in Project Diva. Anyways I'd give it to N25 or MMJ, I'm kinda torn on it tbh.

[Not] a Devil- this came out REAL recently, but I've had it on repeat and I think the chart would be really fun. I think this would make a good An and Kohane duet, tbh. OR: my ideal duet of Mafuyu and Emu.

Lavie- I honestly just want an Akito cover of this tbh, it's not terribly deep. BUT I think it would be stellar as a rhythm game chart.

Reincarnation Apple- another song on the long list of "N25 or WxS?" debates. I equally want to hear a Mafuyu and a Nene cover of this. It would be fun with the full chorus of either group though.

Delusion Sketch- an older bop, I still really like the PV for it. I would give it to MMJ or N25 probably, though it's got a little more poppy than I usually associate with N25.

panda hero- In my ideal world where Kenshi Yonezu would let PrSk cover his older songs, they also get into contact with older cover artists to get permission to use their rap versions. Either way, VBS no questions.

A Song I'd like to Sing- I forgot how much I enjoy this song, I've got a cover of it I'm pretty partial to. This has strong WxS vibes to me, but I could see it as an ensemble PrSk protagonists song.

lifeline- my FAVORITE junky song, bar none. Finding it again to put on a playlist was a TRIAL. Definitely a l/n song, not a hard choice.

Sing My Love- one of my old middle school jams. It's still super cute tbh, I'd give it to MMJ. Give this to Haruka for my health.

Love Hero- probably in my top 5 Gumi songs tbh. The instrumentals say l/n but in my ideal world the video game squad gets the song about event flags even if it's not their usual fair.

Marshall Maximizer- the micchi cover of this keeps coming up on my playlist so it's been on my brain. I would GREATLY enjoy this as a VBS cover, but I could also see it as an N25 song tbh.

Dont Kill The Love Song- I've been on a PinocchioP kick don't @ me. I think this would make a fun l/n song though, or WxS for the vibes.

One of Repetition- I CAN'T decide if this is more of a MMJ song or VBS. I feel like it works well as both. Give this to Minori and Kohane for another crossover duet.

The shape of my heart - this one is a bit of a relic, but I remembered it recently and it still holds up I think. An easy l/n song for me if I had to assign it (I don't, but it's fun). They need a few sadder songs in their repertoire.

Go Go Ghost Ship- Again, In My Ideal World Where We Get Kenshi Yonezu Covers. My first instinct says that I wanna hear WxS go ham on this song.

Thank you once again for joining me on my post playlist editing vocaloid kick. If I messed up any of the links up there, let me know o7

[davidmann95]

Got a handful of DC-solicit asks, so I’ll just write up my thoughts on the whole batch again.

Mister Miracle: The Source of Freedom #1: The BALLS to not only do the next Mister Miracle thing after King and Gerads, but to do it with Shilo Norman and therefore invite Seven Soldiers comparisons as well. I wouldn’t be that interested, but the preview art that came with the announcement looked fun so this is a maybe for me.

Wonder Girl #1: I got a Yara Flor ask so I’ll go more into detail with that, but this sounds...not good.

Future State: Gotham #1: Hahaha, thanks, call me in six months if the next team does something there’s a reason to give a shit about. Except...wait, Dennis Culver cowrote that E Is For Extinction Secret Wars mini, dammit this might be good. Either way though, god willing we get a Future State: Metropolis book by Dan Watters too.

Legends of the Dark Knight #1: Hopefully this going with Sensational Wonder Woman means there’s a similar Superman anthology in the cards too, but I won’t hold my breath. Darick Robertson doing Batman is enticing, but I’m not familiar with his work as a writer and the premise doesn’t sound that gripping so I’ll wait and see. That Francavilla variant though? DC, blow that up to poster size and you’d make a mint.

Milestone Returns: Infinite Edition #0: Hmm. I got love for Static, but I might wait for further announcements and/or buzz before taking the plunge on this one.

DC Festival of Heroes: The Asian Superhero Celebration #1: This is a SERIOUSLY stacked lineup, definite buy.

Stargirl Spring Break Special #1: Impeccable timing, DC. It feels like it must be some kind of statement that there are no Morrison members of the Seven Soldiers in the mix (even swapping out Ystin for the original version of Shining Knight no one cares bout) - we focus on the Moore fixation, but there’s enough tidbits that I really do feel like Johns probably flat-out hates Morrison. And what’s this ‘secret eighth soldier’ nonsense? There’ve always been eight soldiers, people have been joking about it forever!

Justice League: Last Ride #1: Discussed that announcement here.

Batman: Earth One Vol. 3: *blinks*

*blinks again*

*squints at the cover art*

...Geoff Johns are you seriously trying to step to Morrison and use the Miagani tribe? YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN PEOPLE

I Am Not Starfire: Interesting concept that seems like it pushes into indie-flavored territory as much as DC’s superhero output just about ever has, if word-of-mouth is good there’s a decent chance I’ll get this.

Action Comics #1031: Wonder if this is serious about the potential of Kryptonian refugees, given PKJ suggested the idea in Worlds of War and that could play a significant part in the New Krypton stuff from Bendis’s Legion (with Johnson being clear he’s following up on a lot of Bendis’s ideas with his own Superman run).

Superman #31: This sounds big-time like Johnson hammering Superman into a swords-and-sorcery shape for an arc since that’s his bag, but Superman’s malleable enough for that to work so I’m not complaining.

American Vampire 1976 #8: Still not getting, so.

Batman #108: Tynion’s well and truly figured out how to game the direct market’s dopiest instincts, hasn’t he? Well, as long as that’s in service of him getting to continue doing weird Batman stuff with Jorge Jimenez like introducing whatever the ‘Unsanity Collective’ is, that’s fine with me. And more Ghostmaker!

Batman: Black & White #6: Not as packed for the finale as some previous issues, but still looking good. And there’s really never gonna be a ‘last’ Scott Snyder Batman story, is there? Sure it’ll be good but that’s kind of a shame, his Detective #1027 feature really felt like a nice full circle.

Batman: The Detective #2: Guess I wasn’t the only one wondering if it was a stealth DKR prequel and they wanted to cut that notion out at the knees.

Batman/Catwoman #6: Still very down for it, but BOY that Batwoman costume Mann debuted on Twitter.

The Batman & Scooby Doo Mysteries #2: I recently finally started reading Sholly Fisch and companies’ Scooby-Doo Team-Up! recently after getting the whole run for free on ComiXology earlier this year and have fallen in love with it, so I’m totally grabbing this digitally.

Batman/Superman #18: “The Dark Knight and the Man of Steel are on a mission to stop the godlike Auteur.io from destroying the pocket worlds he’s created...but where on Earth did Auteur.io even come from? The answer starts not on Earth at all, but with an ancient cult of World Forger worshippers on a planet far away—and if our heroes are to have a prayer of stopping this mythic behemoth, they’ll need to get to the bottom of his power source, and quick! It’s a race against time as the parallel lives of entire worlds hang in the balance!”

Anonymous said: Haha is Yang really doing Superman & Batman vs. Zack Snyder and the Snyder Cult (look up “auter” if you don’t know what I mean)? That’s fucking hilarious, especially since he apparently comes from the World Forge which is where all the shitty Earths full of bad ideas are made. Pretty pointed criticism there if I’m reading it right.

I’ve seen two or three people other than this anon independently conclude this arc is about the Supermen and Batmen of the Multiverse teaming up to stop Zack Snyder from destroying them all and at this point I’m ready to ask my LCS owner if I’m allowed to pay more than cover price for this run.

Batman: Urban Legends #3: Much more into this after the Grifter and Outsiders stories in Future State.

Catwoman #31: No reason not to assume this’ll continue to be great.

Challenge of the Super Sons #2: Good for the folks who want this, and that Nick Bradshaw variant is fun.

Crime Syndicate #3: I wanna be convinced to get this book, but the interviews are not persuading me.

Detective Comics #1036: How long is Mora sticking around?!

The Dreaming: Waking Hours #10: Another one I’ve got nothing to say about because I’ve never been getting it.

The Flash #770: Actually really excited to hear about how bad this run will suck now that I know it’s by the mind behind that “Geoff Johns’ OC - do not steal - beats up the Grant Morrison DC future” catastrophe from Future State.

Green Lantern #2: Really couldn’t wait a month for Far Sector to wrap up, huh?

Harley Quinn #3: Still not interested, but that *is* a nice cover.

The Joker #3: There’s a very real possibility I’ll have dropped the book by this point if it turns out to be the illustrated editorial mandate I get the feeling it could be, but fingers crossed.

Justice League #61: Not complaining, but wow, this really is Naomi 2 since Campbell’s busy in order to provide the necessary material for the CW show.

Looney Toons #260/Mad #20: Were these grouped with the rest of the solicits before?

Man-Bat #4: Very curious how this’ll be received, given nobody much cares about Man-Bat but Wielgosz seems to be quickly becoming a favorite.

The Next Batman: Second Son #2: Hadn’t realized this was only 4 issues - guess for at least one of them it’ll be the Luke Fox book everyone expected in the first place.

Nightwing #80: Dick Grayson vs. Heartless, not how I expected the DC/Kingdom Hearts crossover to happen but I’ll take it. That variant though? ALL TIMER:

The Other History of the DC Universe #4: I was trying to figure out who the focus of #4 would be since we know #5 is about Thunder and Lightning, forgot Montoya was confirmed.

Robin #2: Wanna care, so don’t care.

Rorschach #8: I will get it and probably like it.

RWBY/Justice League #2: My thoughts here will be their own post because there’s something particularly notable, but:

Anonymous said: Have you seen the BATtleaxe from the new art for RWBY/Justice League?

Yes, anon. Yes I have.

Sensational Wonder Woman #3: Eh, premise doesn’t grab me but maybe.

Strange Adventures #10: God I love the book about how Adam Strange sucks.

Suicide Squad #3/Teen Titans Academy #3: Hahahahaha

Superman: Red and Blue #3: Fiffe and Stokoe doing Superman stories!!! And...Nick Spencer. With Christian Ward art?! Sigh, fine, hopefully it’ll be Nick Spencer doing a nice little comedy, and not having Grant Morrison Superman throwing his t-shirt away because he grew up and realized changing things is too hard. A horrible shame Pope is doing the main cover though, the allegations against him I guess never really got any attention. At least there’s this JPL variant:

The Swamp Thing #3: Swampy will never be my guy but very happy for those who dig him, because I imagine this’ll be terrific.

Truth & Justice #4: Normally I wouldn’t care at all, but what I’m hearing on Twitter about this is a crying shame - that Jeff Trammell is really talented and Red Hood is a favorite of his and this is likely to be one of Jason Todd’s few Actually Good comics, but that artist Rob Guillory is a bullying transphobic piece of shit. Sucks all around.

Wonder Woman #772: I was so excited for this run, and then Immortal Wonder Woman had to go and suck.

[dundunny]

Arkham Asylum

So I just got the Arkham Collection, and I'm gonna try to bust through all of them about a decade too late, but that's usually how I roll. First up: Arkham Asylum.

My first mistake was starting this right after beating Spider-Man for the PS4 because I inevitably started comparing them mentally. Asylum was about a decade before and also was trying for something completely different. The first is the battle system; it's much clunkier and feels off. Assassin's Creed II was released the same year so it's not as if the technology wasn't there, but I'm wondering if it's because Asylum emphasizes so much on stealth that it's trying to discourage the player from engaging. Part of the problem is there's no healing and thus very little forgiveness for mistakes. If someone has a gun, you're more or less screwed because three hits and you're dead. But even other weapons or just too many opponents are very difficult to overcome. If you're sneaking around, fine. I can pick them off. However a mandatory fight can fuck you over quick. It's just somewhat surprising for a dude who supposedly knows dozens of martial art styles and has a belt of gadgets, he seems to be unable to take a couple of guys with ease.

Speaking of Batman, I think my biggest problem with the game itself was his idiocy. In a universe of people who can fly, control sea creatures, or lift cars with ease, what he brings to the table are his resources, cleverness, and contingency plan for almost every scenario. So you'd imagine after being gassed once by Scarecrow, you'd fucking wear a gasmask or something, not just deal with it another two times. Don’t fucking tell me he doesn’t have some sort of protection in that Batcave of his.

What's worse is how he continually tells people to wait here because they'll be safe. They won't. They're not. Yet for one group of people he advises to fortify the door and guess what? They survive! Too bad he never told anyone else that or maybe guide them to that location. I counted and literally only eleven people walk away from this night alive. The first group, fine, I don't think Batman knew the extent of what he was dealing with, but once you start seeing the prisoners leaving bodies hanging from the ceiling, I think it's best he not leave people just standing around the greenhouse as if they're going to be OK.

In terms of plot, it was fine and interesting to see how Joker's plan unfolds. Although I would prefer to see the entirety of Gotham, I like the claustrophobic feeling of being stuck on the island during a massive prison break. I understand they wanted this to be horror, but I look at the facility and wonder why hasn't this facility been shut down because it wouldn't even pass building code, and what year did they think this game would take place because no sanitorium would look like this after c.1950? I think the designers pushed this theme to the point the architecture just got nonsensical, like public showers in the weirdest of places (right next to the welcome desk to the penitentiary) or a morgue literally right outside the doctor's office in the admin building.

The lineup here is Zsasz, Bane, Harley, Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, Killer Croc, Riddler, and Joker, some of whom you never actually fight. Unfortunately for most of the boss fights they just follow Bane's fighting style and pattern, so there's less variation. Scarecrow is the same fight thrice, and Killer Croc is the most annoying section of the game where you have to walk extremely slowly so he doesn't detect you, except he jumps out of nowhere every thirty seconds anyway to attack you.

Probably my favorite part of the game was solving the riddles and unlocking profiles to see references to all sorts of Batman baddies. Tweedledum and Tweedledee! I completely forgot about those dudes. Getting the goddamned camera to focus on it and accept that I'm staring at the solution is a whole other problem though.

Overall though, I did enjoy the game and am glad I played it. The buildings and environment are fun to explore, the story and characters are engaging, the voice acting is good (bringing back the animated series I see), and I did feel my heart pumping a lot of the time as I tried not to get caught. I wouldn't say it's the most amazing thing I've ever played, but good work guys.

[starcrossedkitsune]

Well in that case, MC and Luca, please and thank you! 😚

No problemo!! ❤

Who hogs the duvet

MC does 😹 but Luca is fine with that because hes not a big blanket person the wierdo

Who texts/rings to check how their day is going

Luca, definitely. He's like that mothering friend you know and love and he'll blow up the MCs phone with emojis to brighten their day

Whos the most creative when it comes to gifts

Technically the MC, Luca would honestly just gift the MC their favorite snacks while MC would go out of their way to make/find a meaningful gift for Luca

Who gets up first

You serious? Neither of them do, hell theyd stay in bed all day cuddling and well probably doing NSFW antics before Briar or Cordelia came pounding on the door to get thier butts out of bed 😹

Who suggests new things in bed

Luca and hes like really confident when he does, but ends up going off to sulk if it goes wrong or MC says no

Who cries at movies

"I'm not crying your crying!" -MC 😹

Who gives unprompted massages

Neither, but they're always trying to sweet talk each other into giving one

Who fusses over the other when theyre sick

Luca most definitely. MC was his best friend before they started dating so he always worries about them, and Briar but this isnt about her, and will drop everything the moment he finds out MC is sick/injured

Who gets jealous easiest

Luca, he acts all flirty and confident but MC is his if theyre dating no one else is even allowed to try and be flirty with MC he will shut that down quick

Who has the most embarrassing taste in music

Im pretty sure this would just be a game between them to try and have the most embarrassing playlists 😂 Luca would probably lose bc the MC has a way of finding some really out there songs

Who collects something unusual

MC collects POP! Funkos and Luca is just like why????? Not really unusual but he doesnt see the point in them

Who takes the longest to get ready

Luca, only for the sheer fact his hair has to be juuuuust right. Kidding, he just runs his hand through it like twice and hes good to gonow outfits on the other hand if he dresses sporty he just threw that stuff on but if he tries to look nice (anything that isnt gym clothes 😂) then he will sit there for 30 minutes to an hour trying to find something unless MC helps

Who is the most tidy and organized

Nooot Luca, neither is the MC but the room would be such a chaotic mess that MC still knew where everything was and Luca just ends up asking them to find everything

Who gets most excited about the holidays

Luca, coming from a big family the holidays are important for him because it is a time of being with loved ones. Halloween is his favorite though, he's been trying to convince MC to do a couples costume with him

Who is big spoon/little spoon

They take turns 😹 only because MC is adamant about being little spoon but usually ends up being big spoon

Who gets competitive when playing games and/or sports

For video games oh my god MC does and it can get pretty hilarious, Luca gets competitive about sports but thats because thats his domain but he doesnt get too bad with it not like how MC gets with video games

Who starts the most arguements

Luca does only because he over worries and the MC just kind of goes with the flow so he just kind of goes off on a tangent about hoe they almost could have died

Who suggests they buy a pet

Both of them 😂 Luca would run a shelter out of his dorm if he could get away with it, he just loves animals so much

What couple traditions do they have

They call each other wierd nicknames to try and get a reaction from one another. Also at least once a week they cook together in the kitchen and try recipes from all over the world

What tv shows do they watch together

Cop shows, thier current lineup is Rizzoli and Isles(for the 3rd time), The Rookie, and Elementary

What other couple do they hang out with

Oof I didnt think about this 😂 I guess depending on if i do make this a thing again Castiel/Zac or Gwen/Castiel Gwen/Cordelia. Either Castiel ships because hes the more laidback twin and Zac once he opens up a bit more they're pretty fun together and Zac really likes to do war reeenactments and theyd play cards against humanity together. Gwen would be the main reason, she is one of the few people who could get Cordelia to just take a chill pill and try to have fun for once and the group would do mountain climbing/fun runs together which would make Luca die of happiness and probably just make MC die 😂😂

How they spend time together as a couple

They watch movies/tv shows together, MC would begrudgingly agree to do sporty stuff with Luca but still have fun doing some of them (having thier abilities helps 😉), and play video games together. At least once a week though they have to cook together its thier little tradition

Who made the first move

Theyre both flirtatious idiots when it comes to one another but it was the MC who made the first move. Yeah Luca is flirty with them before they date but he didnt think the MC would take him seriously so when they reciprocated he was just dumbfounded

Who brings flowers home

MC would try but then have to throw them out the window because pollen 😒 doesnt make sense since you know Luca spends the majority of his days outside ANYWAYS but nope no flowers within 2 feet of Luca or hes a big sneeze fest

Who is the best cook

Luca, i mean he works really hard to since he grew up with being told one day he would be a cook/manager for the family restaurant and he definitely wants to impress MC with his culinary prowess

[bthenoise]

Celebrate 10 Years of ‘Constellations’ With August Burns Red’s 10 Favorite Moments From The Writing, Recording & Touring Process

When it comes to most album anniversary tours, some fans tend to think those 10, 15 or even 20-year treks are just for the longtime listeners and nostalgia chasers. Instead, many seem to forget about the bands actually playing those beloved records on a nightly basis. 

Take metalcore juggernauts August Burns Red, for example. Gearing up for their 10-year anniversary tour for 2009′s groundbreaking LP Constellations, the seasoned outfit has thoroughly enjoyed tour prep as they’ve run through songs like “The Escape Artist” and reminisced about some of their fondest decade-old memories.    

Be it playing tour games on the road, surviving terrifying snowstorms or the impact of playing “Indonesia” live for the first time in the Southeast Asian country, looking back on 10 years since Constellations was released, JB Brubaker, Brent Rambler, Matt Greiner, Dustin Davidson and Jake Luhrs have all accrued memories that will last a lifetime. 

Speaking with The Noise about some of those life-changing Constellations moments, Brubaker, Rambler, Greiner and Davidson compiled 10 of their all-time favorite memories from the writing, recording and touring process dating all the way back to 2007. To check out the list to get you even more pumped for August Burns Red’s upcoming tour, be sure to see below. Afterward, to grab tickets, head here.      

Lastly, if you’d like a chance to win free tickets – yes, FREE! – head here.

Brent Rambler

The Constellations recording process and touring cycle houses many fond memories for all of us. Here are three of my personal favorites that stick out. Let’s get cracking in chronological order!

“White Washed”

The lyrics for “White Washed” were some of the first more aggressive and “angry” lyrics that I had ever tried to write at the time. However, the words flowed like water because they were very in the moment. I started working on them immediately after a youth pastor surrounded me with a group of teenagers directly outside of our tour van. He proceeded to condemn [me] and the other members of the band simply for having a case of beer on our [tour] rider. He wanted to try and make an example of me in front of all the kids he brought with him. The whole thing was super inappropriate and out of line, BUT the lyrics for one of our most popular songs came out of it so it was worth it!

First Home

The recording process for Constellations was extra exciting for me because literally a week before we left I had an offer accepted for my first house. I remember being very proud because it was a big moment in proving to everyone that I could earn a living off of making music. For weeks while we recorded, I was heading to notaries and post offices to work on the closing process of the home, and since we were in Florida while making the album, I had to sign over power of attorney and do the sale over the phone. We returned home super late from Florida, but instead of crashing at my parents where all of my things were, I grabbed the keys and just sat in my new house.

Chicago House Of Blues

Constellations came out while we were on tour in the summer of 2009. The tour had some cool highlights, but I think the biggest one was selling out the Chicago House of Blues for the first time. At that moment it was our biggest headline show ever and packing such a notable venue felt amazing. Afterwards, we had a big celebration with the other bands backstage and it capped off a great night!

JB Brubaker

“Put Him Up!”

In December of 2009, we were on the road with Underoath and Emery. We became really good friends with the guys in Emery and would hang out with them every night after the shows. They had purchased their own passenger bus and gutted it and turned it into a tour bus. It was DIY but so cool. We’d hang out, drink beers, have dance parties and tell stories. Emery taught us one “game” that we still play on our tour bus today. Occasionally, when someone new would walk on the bus, Toby (Emery’s bassist/vocalist) would slowly start chanting “Put him up! Put him up!” The chant would catch on with other people on the bus until everyone was shouting it, at which point the newcomer would be picked up and crowd surfed to the ceiling of the bus. It was basically a “welcome to the party” greeting and always got a good laugh. We are happy to continue to carry the tradition on a decade later.

Touring Australia 

It was August of 2009. Constellations had recently come out and we were invited by Parkway Drive to support them on a tour across Australia. It was our first time in Australia and an honor to be supporting them. They were the hottest metal band on the continent and drawing huge crowds. After the monster travel day to Australia, we arrived to find a bunch of luggage didn’t make it. Qantas Airlines outfitted us with small care packages to keep us afloat until our baggage was recovered. Inside were heather gray sweat shorts and matching t-shirts. The first show was in Brisbane at an outdoor hillside [venue] called Riverstage. They were expecting 7,000 people which was more people than we had ever played for at that time. When we were setting up our equipment on stage before the show, I failed to take into account the voltage difference between Australia and the US. I plugged in my pedal board and heard a pop followed by the smell of burning electronics. I had fried my pedal board’s power supply, rendering my pedals useless. I had to borrow a pedal board from Architects, who were also playing on the tour. (I think we need to do this same tour lineup again!). When we took the stage that night I was a ball of nerves. I unfortunately played sloppy for the large Australian crowd, but I don’t know if anyone actually noticed or cared. We debuted our song “Meddler” for the first time that night. (I played that song particularly poorly.) The tour was overall a great experience. I have very fond memories of hanging out with the guys in Architects and playing massive shows in every city.

Touring South America

In August of 2010, we were doing a tour of South America. It was our first time traveling there. Our buddies in Blessthefall were coming with us and it was going to be awesome. The first show was in Sao Paulo, Brazil and over 1,000 people showed up. We were treated like celebrities and it was a completely surreal start to the tour. The final show of the tour was scheduled for August 28th in Caracas, Venezuela. About a week before the show, we learned of political unrest in Venezuela. The president there was known for being a hot head and pulling stunts like closing down the airports. It was determined to be unsafe for us to travel to Caracas because of the possibility of getting stuck there should the president lock down flights out of the country.  Instead, we booked a last minute show in Quito, Ecuador. With a week to get the word out, we weren’t expecting much. The show was held in a small youth center. There couldn’t have been more than 150 people there but it was such a special show for us. The appreciation and enthusiasm the crowd showed us was unmatched. We felt honored to have been received with such open arms and on such short notice. What felt like a disaster waiting to happen turned out to be one of the biggest highlights of our South American tour.

Dustin Davidson

The Day The Van Died

Thankfully I found a journal entry from Thursday, April 16th, 2009 so that I can write accurately with every detail about the day that our van died. We were pretty early into a tour with All That Remains and Born of Osiris when as you may have guessed -- our 16 passenger Chevrolet van (unnamed to my knowledge) took its last breath of air and sipped its last ounce of gasoline (which in those days contained 0% ethanol for you engine nerds). According to my journal, we woke up at a decent hour, grabbed continental breakfast from the hotel and headed out on the road for the next show. I was first up to drive on that day and while on the road about 60 miles away from our departure our sound engineer Jade asked me, “So how long do you think this van is going to last? Do you think it’ll make it through the rest of the tour?”

“Yeah, I think it’ll last for the rest of the tour - at least I hope so,” I replied. Just as I finished that thought our speed began to decrease rapidly while ascending a hill on the highway. I let off the gas and the engine shut off. As I was pulling over to the shoulder the temperature gauge shot up, the breaks were extremely hard to press because the brake booster went out and smoke poured out from under the hood when I was finally able to bring the vehicle to a stop. “Well, I think we need a new van,” I said.

I don’t remember how many miles that van had but it was surely over 200k so something like that was bound to happen at any time. Born of Osiris was able to pick us up so that we could make the next show which was in Syracuse, NY and after the gig our friend Ricky picked us up and drove us back to Lancaster so that we could van shop the next day and get back out on the road to meet up with the tour again.

The Storm That Left Us Stranded

In the winter of 2009, we did a short tour with Underoath and Emery. It was a very fun tour filled with hangs and packed shows. However, the drive home was something that I hope to never be a part of again. After the tour ended in New Orleans, JB and Brent flew home while the rest of us (Matt, Jake, TM Josh, merch guy Mychael and myself) opted to save some bones and drive the van/trailer home. We knew there was a huge rain storm coming but we had plenty of time to beat it home by getting on the road directly after that last show - or so we thought.

Sometime in the early hours of December 18th during our drive home, we blew a wheel bearing on the trailer and had to pull over to take a look at it. This was an ongoing problem for us back in the day. You see, this was a time before the Axe-Fx / Kemper. A dark time when we carried many guitar/bass cabinets. Our trailer was always filled to the brim. We were simply carrying too much weight and would blow out wheel bearings left and right no matter how we packed the trailer.

This blow out was one of the worst ones we ever had. Since it was still dark outside, whoever was driving the van couldn’t see the smoke so they ended up driving for a while after the bearing gave out which led to the bearing fusing to the spindle which meant that we couldn’t fix the problem ourselves. We had to wait for a small repair shop to open up so that we could have the bearing fixed and while waiting to have everything repaired the storm passed us. It was only rain at the time but we knew it would turn into a mild blizzard. We finally got on the road in the early afternoon but it was too late - the damage was done.

I don’t recall which highway we were on, but it indeed was shut down and we ended up spending the night in the van on the highway until we could get moving again early the next morning. Around 6am when traffic started moving again, we opted to drive to the next closest exit and get a hotel since the roads were still covered in snow. Our drive home was supposed to be about 18 hours without stops and it ended up taking us 3 days. It’s fun to reflect on it now and talk to those that I share that memory with, but it’s safe to say from that day on, I never drove the van home from the end of a tour again.

Matt Greiner

Constellations Artwork

It was December 2007. I was getting inspiration for album artwork from the most unassuming source, a black and white movie from the 1940s. It's A Wonderful Life is a movie about a supernatural intervention in the life of a frustrated businessman. In the movie, an angel is sent from heaven to show George Bailey what life would have been like had he never existed. At their high-school graduation party, George is reintroduced to Mary who has had a crush on him since they were kids. Under the moonlight, they're walking outside when George suddenly turns Mary towards the sky and asks, "You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down."

As I watched the scene unfold, I played out the idea of a rope tied to a star in the sky. I put pen to paper and ran with the concept, pulling inspiration from Matthew 6 where the idea of Heaven coming to earth is introduced. The stars represented steadfast anchors by which we find direction throughout our lives. The kites represent our own fleeting emotions that will alter direction just as the wind changes. I remember getting on the phone with Ryan Clark, the creative mind behind the company Invisible Creature, and explaining the artistic concepts that would eventually come to fruition in the pages of Constellations.  

“Indonesia” 

In 2007, I awoke to find that a relative had died in a plane crash. David Clapper had always been passionate about flying. It wasn't uncommon to see his single-engine Cessna flying over our family farm in Lancaster County, PA. He devoted his time assisting those in need in Southeast Asia by flying the sick and dying from the bush to the nearest hospital, which often times was a several hour flight. On one of his return flights to the bush, he encountered a storm that blew his plane into the side of a mountain. I remember going for a drive after finding out the terrible news. I was so upset that someone doing such a good thing had died in such a terrible way. Here was a man who gave his time and energy to helping others and, in the end, sacrificed his life doing so. I remember wondering what his last words might have been as the plane spun out of control, crashing into the side of the mountain where it still resides today. I learned an important lesson that day. That is, not every question in life has an answer, at least not one that will satisfy. "This is the time to turn down our heads and turn up our hearts."  

I remember traveling to Indonesia on the Constellations Tour. We played an outdoor venue for a large group of excited fans who were seeing us perform for the first time. When it came time to play "Indonesia," a feeling came over me that I'll never forget, an overwhelming sense of humility. The band I helped start in my parent's basement in Lancaster County, PA was playing in Southeast Asia performing a song written about my relative who had passed away on that very continent just the year before. The fans in the crowd seemed to sing about him like he was their relative, not some stranger who's name they merely read in the liner notes of a CD. Near the end of the song Jake screams the words, "David, rest in peace." I'll never forget hearing the crowd sing those very words so loud they could be heard over the amplification of our own instruments. A story goes a long way, sometimes even to the edges of the other side of the planet.  

[jcmorrigan]

Do you prefer the original Organization XIII or the new Organization/The Seekers of Darkness (or at least those we know so far)?

~~~PEOPLE WHO KNOW THE LEAKED KHIII SPOILERS DO NOT INTERACT~~~

Not really a fair question, since we DON’T know the identities of all of the True Organization yet (Is Aqua a Nort? Is she a Darkling?), and we’ve had all of the original Organization known for SEVERAL games now, so I’m naturally inclined to lean toward the original Organization if only because I know ‘em all and what their deals were (for the most part…there may be a whole Strelitzia thing in the works that reframes everything). 

Also, the two rosters are incredibly similar, with only a few swaps out here and there. Those swaps are important, though, and I’m going to touch on that.

I will say the biggest thing the True Organization has going for it is that Ansem is part of it. Ansem is a fantastic and threatening baddie, and his presence, as well as that of the Master himself, elevates this group up from Xemnas’ band of mistakes. (Like, seriously, if you consider the grand Xehanort plan, the original XIII were kind of just a big screw-up that Xemnas got wrong the first time until Master Xehanort stepped in and went HOW COULD YOU GET THIS WRONG? YOU LITERALLY TOLD YOURSELF HOW TO DO IT. THAT’S IT. I’M TAKING YOUR PEOPLE, ADDING MY OWN, AND MAKING THIS LEGITIMATE.) But…that comes with its own set of baggage as well.

And I will say…there was once a time I thought I would never come around to liking Organization XIII as a band of characters again. I used to be knee-deep in the fandom just devoted to them, and I did…things. Horrible things. Things I won’t speak of in public. I renounced what I had done and swore “never again.” But as time passed, I was able to come at the Organization with a more mature perspective (I won’t say COMPLETELY mature; I’ll say MORE mature) and appreciate them through the lens of having some more fandom experience and more experience loving villains in general.

All that being said, I have to give it to the original Organization: Xemnas’ band of screw-ups. And here’s why:

-Xaldin. This is probably the most important factor. Now, I’m no huge screaming fan of Xaldin or anything. He’s not my favorite. But I do LIKE Xaldin a lot. And Xaldin is one of the most important Organization members when it comes to actual manipulation of the worlds. He and Luxord caused the most damage that wasn’t confined to Castle Oblivion, and with Xaldin, it’s poignant because he flat-out used manipulation and bargaining to string the Beast along. It’s IMPRESSIVE. And everything pointed to his character being nasty and rotten without anything redeeming to him. Everything in II depicted him as a ruthless manipulator, and though we were supposed to think he had no heart at the time, it still looked like he was having FUN. (But guess what! Thanks to the Nort heart, HE ACTUALLY WAS HAVING FUN!) Beyond that, 358/2 Days continued down this path, painting him as a terrible mentor who had no patience with Roxas (”NO BREAKS”) and spent his days stalking and scheming. That they should bring back almost everyone else for the True Org EXCEPT one of their meanest and toughest is a shame. 

-While I do like Ienzo and Aeleus better as heroes, the original lineup meant I did get to enjoy them alongside the others in the group. And unlike Xaldin, you could make arguments that both of them had more sympathy - Zexion may have played Riku like a fiddle in CoM, but he also had those seemingly throwaway lines about the Organization coming apart and how much of a shame it was. Lexaeus had almost nothing to go on, so I could buy literally any character development on him.

-As for the outright good people, the original lineup had the ever-important Axel, Roxas, and Xion. No, it wasn’t good for them to be trapped there, but it still meant I could enjoy their struggles and their friendships in the context of “Wait…we work for the BAD guys, don’t we?” and their relationships to said bad guys, who are their ROOMMATES. Xion is one of my favorite KH characters to this DAY. Yes, she may be returning as of that recent trailer, but that’s not confirmed, and furthermore, we don’t know if she’s there of her own free will or if this is some kind of brainwash. Leading to…

-When the original lineup had good people trapped in it, they were manipulated. Roxas and Xion thought they were with the right people because it was all they ever knew. These people raised them from their conception as beings that existed. Axel started out as rotten as the rest, then had his perspective flipped by Sora and Roxas’ influence and realized he no longer fit into the cutthroat crowd. The True Org has at least one good person (Terra) and maybe more (Aqua?), but in both those cases, they’re not there out of a poetic reason like that. They’re there because they’ve been straight-up brainwashed and had different hearts stuffed into them. There’s no free will involved, which doesn’t make for as interesting of a story to me. (…This is a theme with me, I’m realizing, because I’m now recalling the parallel to my frustration with the brainwashing in DanganRonpa…)

-In the original lineup, Marluxia and Larxene were definite traitors to the rest, which made them unique and gave them an interesting subplot. Now at least one of them (Larxene) has fallen in line to work for Xehanort and doesn’t seem like she’s about to turn traitor last minute.

-Braig is a double-edged sword. On one hand, one of the things that makes him GREAT is his endurance, from II to BBS to DDD and into III. We got to see him evolve from just another minion to…there’s a reason WHY he’s ranked II. He’s one of Xehanort’s oldest confidantes and maybe even has his own plans on the side. He wouldn’t be the great character he is now if we DIDN’T have his Nortified journey. However…all the same, when he does appear in DDD and his speech patterns are modified to reflect Xehanort’s because of the heart taking over, it kind of feels tragic. He’s less of a free spirit and you can hear it in the way he talks - maybe he still seems to be happy with himself on the surface, but there’s something off about the guy who used to talk like a surfer dude now becoming loquacious as they come. 

-And Ansem? Actually better when he WASN’T tied to ANY Organization. Ansem is a powerhouse who destroys worlds. His fascination with the Darkness is almost deviant from the rest of the Norts - they focus on forging the x-blade while Ansem wishes to link the worlds to Darkness. I actually just have such a hard time picturing him blending into any GROUP. Which I’m sure will be rectified when I see it in practice, but as cool as it is that he’s now part of the big bad group, that’s actually a point against.

III could change my mind entirely, but for now, I’m nostalgic for the old Organization. Though, to be fair, Vexen is in both rosters, and he’s the one who matters most to me, so I can’t complain too much.

[thotyssey]

On Point With: Beardonna

The beariest Madonna impersonator in New York, Beardonna is bringing her signature character to Madonna Worship at Stonewall this weekend. Watch her on YouTube, catch her monthly show in Nyack, and read her exclusive interview right here!

Thotyssey: Hi Beardonna! Thanks for chatting! So, summer’s nearly over already... how has yours been?

Beardonna: Hi Jim! How are you? I can't believe another summer is almost over! Time sure goes fast when you are having fun!  

Yay! So we have to talk about your upcoming appearances and Madonna’s big day, but first let’s get to know you. Where are you from?

I started out as a young cub in Queens NY, and moved to Bergen County, NJ, when I was 13.

And you developed Beardonna after first trying out female superhero cosplay looks, right?

Yes. As a joke, for Halloween, I made costumes for my partner, our friend and myself. We were Batman, Robin and Wonder Woman, from the '60s & '70's, the way they would have looked in the 90's: old, ,fat & hairy. We marched in the NYC Halloween parade, and we were a big hit!  Wonder Woman was the most popular, so I remade the costume and tried  it out at NY ComicCon... and it went over really well. Then I made a 60's Batgirl costume, and that was popular.

 I had always been in love with Madonna, so I figured I would try her--and people just went crazy! Because I am a bear and will not shave my beard and mustache, I use "BEAR" in the all the names: Wonder Wobear, Batbear, and of course, Beardonna.

To test “Beardonna " out, I took a boom box with me and played "Vogue” and danced in Times Square. People started asking me where I was performing and I was like, "Duh?"  I was just dancing for fun, but a lot of people wanted to know where my show was, so I wrote some parodies and started performing.

Besides the songs themselves, you have a pretty wide collection of videos for the parodies on YouTube. Do you have a favorite?

I've done parodies of "Burning Up” (”WTF?"), "Music” (”Pubic”),  "Vogue” (”Throat”), “Living for Love” (”Slapped on the Glove”)...  and I have a video for "Papa Don't Preach” (”My Belt Won't Reach") with Sherry Vine playing my mother, Bearmomma.  I have to say, I love them all..

I think the one I am most proud of  is "Shout to Cure AIDS"--which is not a parody, but I put my own words to the music of "Give It To Me" to be used as the theme song for the Research Foundation to Cure AIDS. I got to perform it on their float in last year’s NYC Pride Parade; that was an honor.

Are you always Beardonna at heart now, even when you’re doing other characters?

I try to base all my costumes on a look that Madge has had through her career, even if I am doing a parody of another artist. So, my costumes are "Inspired by" her. Most people who come to my show get the references. Especially anything with a cone bra. The big difference is, my cones squeek!

I take it you’ve seen the real Madonna live. 

Of course I've been to her concerts. Nothing better!

Do you think she knows about you? Maybe she stalks you on Insta!

I hope so! I once met someone who did some work for her, and they told me that she had seen me. Not sure in what capacity, but I would like to think that she has. I haven't gotten any Cease And Desist letters yet, so I guess it's okay!

So far, so good! Madge, of course, is turning 60 this week. Some people are questioning whether or not she can stay “current" and "relevant” in the years to come. What are your thoughts?

She is music royalty. She will always be relevant! People might not like her new music, but you can't ignore her classics and what she has done for the music industry, as well as our culture and society.

Supposedly, Season 2 of Pose is gonna delve into "Vogue’s" effect on the ball scene.

That will be great!  I have some catching up to do with that show! I did have the pleasure of doing my "Vogue" parody for Shep Pettibone at Paradise in Asbury Park.

Well done! 

I understand that Stonewall's DJ Chauncey Dandridge was present during your very first Beardonna performance.

Yes! I love Chauncey!  He was DJing for Will Clark's Porno Bingo, and I was the, um, Talent! Lol! That was the night I gave Will Clark a framed pair of my use concert panties!

Since then, you've been performing every year for Chauncey’s long-running Madonna Worship party at Stonewall, which celebrates Madonna's birthday and returns this Saturday for her 60th! I bet you're gonna go all out this time!

I will premiering my new parody of "Don't Cry for Me Argentina." It's called "I Love a Big Dicked Latino."

Madge is definitely gonna see that one! 

Besides this annual event, you’re busy with a monthly show up in Nyack called "All That Drag" at Maureen's Jazz Cellar. 

I love that place, and love doing the show! The owners Dave Budman and his wife, Brianne, run a jazz club in Nyack, NY. They have more than just jazz--they also have an open mic night, Grateful Dead nights, and they were looking for some kind of monthly comedy show. They were leaning towards a drag theme. Well, it turns out that I graduated high school with Brianne's sister, and she recommended me. We chatted, then met, and we instantly clicked.

The show has something for everyone. I host and do my parodies, as well as some comedy with the audience. We also have a burlesque performer, Jaella Carrerra; a serious singer, Autumn Hues; and then a different guest. I also play a game with the audience every month. They play for prizes, and we always have a lot of fun!

How does Beardonna go over with a Rockland County crowd?

The crowd in is a wonderful mix of everyone! Gay, straight, trans... everyone is welcome, and I'm happy to say that the crowd is getting bigger for every show! At the end of the show, people are welcome to stay for Deageoke with DJ John Martin, and the fun continues!

You’re doing another Madonna birthday show for this month’s edition of “All That Drag” on August 29th. You’ll have a cute lineup of guests including Westchester's Rhoda Rollins Stone!

Yes! I love RoRo!  If you have not seen her perform, you are missing out. As well as Jazel Jazalien! These bitches are so talented!

Have fun with these gigs! Okay, final question: When Beardonna passes away at age 267... what Madonna look should she be buried in?

Lol! I say this to my friends all the time! When I go, I want to be laid out in my Gold cone bustier, head mic and pony tail. That's my favorite Madge look! Then I want to be cremated so everyone can take a handful of ashes, put them out to their mouths and blow. I want my final blowjob to be with a group!

A class act til the end! Thanks, Beardonna!

Check Thotyssey’s calendar for Beardonna’s upcoming appearances, and follow her on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube.

On Point Archives

[oltnews]

If you haven't heard, the KBO (Korea Baseball Organization) is looking to start its four-game pre-season schedule until April 27 before launching its regular season a few days later and starting May 1. There are rumors ESPN is speaking with KBO leaders to secure overseas rights and there is hope that an agreement could be reached this week. I mean, take a look at this video below of a game in 2018. You can't imagine the level of excitement you could feel at home watching it live on your own screen. television? For those wondering how to watch KBO games outside of Korea. I won't know for sure until the games start on April 21 or KBO / ESPN magically announces a deal. Will post once we know more. https://t.co/Ns4dAyBdtd- Dan Kurtz (@MyKBO) April 15, 2020 Okay, KBO talent is far from what we usually watch on our TVs, but live sports are live sportsmen and that got me thinking. If ESPN covered the KBO, I should have found a team to support, right? I find it hard to watch a sports league without having a favorite to shoot every week. But how do you choose a team? Well, I went to South Korea once and spent most of my time on the east coast of Pohang. I felt it was natural to find a team from this general area and call them mine. The only problem is that there was no team from this geographic area, so I found myself without a team. How can I decide? Then it hit me. You know, sometimes the world is symmetrical and gives you the perfect answer. 10 teams in the KBO. 10 FBS conferences. It was perfectly logical. First, we need to look at the 2019 KBO rankings and see who finished from top to bottom. Next, we need to cross-check this list from the FBS RPI 2019 compliments of RealTimeRPI.com and Boom. While this was the premise of the original pairings, the history of these organizations paralleled the conferences in many ways. This process actually created the PERFECT NCAAF-KBO marriage. Without further ado, find out which team you should support for this next KBO season based on the conference of your favorite college football team. Buy a hat (if you can read Korean) and take a walk. It's time for the KBO! SEC - Doosan Bears Photo by ilgan Sports / Multi-Bits via Getty Images The Bears have finished first or second in the KBO since 2015, which is exactly the same for the SEC in the MFF during this same period. Congratulations to SEC fans, you and Megan Fox are now fans of the Doosan Bears! Big Ten and Notre Dame - SK Wyverns Photo credit should read TORU YAMANAKA / AFP via Getty Images The Ohio State won the first CFP championship in 2014, and it's only fitting that the Wyverns win the first Korean championship of this decade (and haven't won it since). I don't know what a Wyvern is, but it's okay because the B1G doesn't know what the number "ten" means and Notre Dame doesn't really understand "independent" either. Big 12 and Army - Kiwoom Heroes Photo by Han Myung-Gu / WireImage Okay, Kiwoom only became Kiwoom two years ago and they actually spent the majority of their history as Nexen Heroes and their number one fan was Michelle Rodriguez from Texas so it all makes sense here . Throw Army in the mix because, I mean, they are the heroes. "Ironically, the Big 12 made the CFP national championship match as often as the heroes did the Korean streak - zero times. American Athletic and BYU - LG Twins Photo by Chung Sung-Jun / Getty Images Nicky Hilton also accompanies AAC and BYU perfectly, as everyone is constantly looking for attention. "Power Six" they shout (and I guess RPI support supports it) and, let's face it, Nicky is certainly not Paris as she did some commercial success to safeguard its reputation (no shadow Star Princess). The LG Twins have had recent success since 2013, making the playoffs more than every two years, which is an incredible turnaround after failing to find the playoffs in ten consecutive seasons (2003-2012). Pac-12 - NC Dinos Photo by Kaz Numata / WBCI / MLB via Getty Images The NC Dinos call the city of Changwon and nothing screams the "west coast" in Korea more than the city that hosts the world K-Pop festival every year. The Dinos have had some playoff success in their short nine-year history, but haven't won the big game (or the Korean series) yet, does that sound familiar to you? ACC, UMass and UConn - KT Wiz Behance The most recent KBO team, Wiz, joined the elite circuit of the Korean baseball league in 2015. It only seemed appropriate to add the last independent Huskies in the mix and, after further research, the Wiz has two former Red Sox players in his lineup (Raul Alacantara and William Cuevas); then enter UMass. The Wiz haven't made the playoffs yet, but had their best ever finish in 2019 and easily have the coolest logo that seems to mimic the Patriots or Texans. IDK. Mountain West - Kia Tigers Hyundai Motorgroup Course you have heard from Boise State and the Mountain West Conference, but is it really the team or the conference you think of when you talk about the "best" these days? The Kia's are a household name, but they're also not really upscale either. The Tigers have a history full of stories and successes, as they actually have the most Korean championships among all teams in KBO history with 11, but only two of them have come since 1998. And, uh , they currently have California and the West Coast Playing in MLB, Matt Williams is their current manager - the perfect match for the MWC. Sun Belt - Samsung Lions Photo credit must read STR / AFP via Getty Images Involuntary alliteration is fun, which is a heavenly match for #FunBelt. The Lions have won four consecutive Korean championships from 2011 to 2014, an unprecedented success compared to anything Sun Belt fans have seen (unless, of course, you are App State which is halfway through. this moment). The Lions have been struggling lately, having failed to advance to the playoffs in each of the past four years, but are expected to recover. USA and Liberty Conference - Hanwha Eagles Photo by ilgan Sports / Multi-Bits via Getty Images What goes better together than the songs of "USA", the calls to "Liberty" and an American Eagle? Not much. The Eagles have only played in the playoffs once in the past 12 years, so CUSA fans should be ready, willing and able to accept this role as a loser. They have a Korean series championship (1999) which is one more national team championship than CUSA has produced in any sport ... ever. But, hey, Baekhyun from Korean boy-bad EXO is their number one fan and it should be fun. [embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwd8N6K-sLk[/embed] MAC and State of New Mexico - Lotte Giants Photo by JTBC PLUS / Imazins via Getty Images The Giants have been struggling lately, only qualifying for the playoffs once in the past seven years and it has been a quick exit to the NC Dinos. The Giants are one of the original KBO teams when it was founded in 1982 and the MAC has a history dating back to 1946. However, history does not mean success, as the Giants have only had two championships since its inception - the worst for all teams with this longevity. At least you can celebrate with Kang Daniel (seen above) from the Wanna One boys' group (seen below). [embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVaV7AwqBWg[/embed] These are college football fans. Your KBO baseball guide. Now let's hope ESPN gets a contract so that we can all start our conference chants! https://oltnews.com/korean-baseball-and-college-football-describe-which-team-should-be-your-favorite-against-all-enemies?_unique_id=5e9dc4aed03d4

[sambaguy]

Samba Guy Goes On A Date

I have an iPhone 6 Plus and go to Coachella every year. I’m thinking about starting a blog and have been really into standup lately. I have a favorite microbrewery because I like my beer really hoppy, whatever that means. I have a fun Twitter feed and interesting theories about what could happen on House of Cards. Clearly, I am no slouch in the ladies department. I mean, I am funny, cultured, well dressed and well read, and any girl would take pride in dating a guy who is so keenly cool. And I have a ton of platonic female friends in my friend group. But, alas, the last few months have been what people in comedies would probably call a dry spell. Hard as it is to believe, I haven’t been with a girl in a long time.

I was devastated when my ex and I stopped seeing each other, except for the fact that when we stopped seeing each other, we couldn’t stop seeing each other, because we followed each other on Twitter and Instagram and were friends on Facebook. So I saw her all the time, her grinning profile picture shadowing my feed. “Unfollow her!” my roommates would roar. “You’re never going to get over her unless you unfollow her on all that stuff.” But I couldn’t. There was something so enthralling about being able to track her social life. Was she seeing someone else? I had to know. Besides, unfollowing her was too dramatic. Remaining friends on social media, however, showed I was unfazed, cool, chill and whatever. But I wasn’t any of those things. I’d find myself scrolling through her tweets and Instagram posts at 2 a.m., drunk. Her Instagram always included photos of other men. Men who, I could only assume, were better than me, knew more about album releases than I did, and had better takes to offer off-handedly during important cultural events, like the Billboard Awards (BTW, props to whoever booed Kanye and Kendal and Kylie, like seriousy it’s about time and LMAO at the censoring). Finally sensing the craziness of all this, I clicked “unfollow” and then “unfriend.” With this tiny act of defiance, I was finally free. “This is closure,” I told myself. “This is moving on.”

So it’s time to get back out there. I’ve been trying. Whenever I’m out with my friends at concerts or even just breweries, I try to talk to as many as possible. I don’t get a lot of positive responses—it’s surprisingly harder than you’d think to find a girl who shares my taste in music and opinions about shows (they need to at least be as caught up as I am because I tend to let the spoilers fly, especially when I’ve had a few beers and am excited by the prospect of someone of the fairer sex actually liking Game of Thrones or whatever show is being discussed at the moment). So many girls only listen to pop and not even critically, like they just don’t even know what they’re listening to. I guess that’s what I’m really looking for, at the end of the day, a girl that really knows her stuff. Like a needle in a haystack I’m afraid. But every once in a blue moon there’s that spark. And it’s truly magical.

I felt that spark last weekend when my friends and I were at a St. Vincent concert. It was there that I met Ellen, the girl who is going to be my date tonight and who, if I play my cards right, might even be my girlfriend. But I’m getting ahead of myself. So there I am with my roommates and we’re all standing around the bar. St. Vincent hasn’t started yet and they’re playing Girlpool over the speakers as the between-set music. It sounds pretty good and it takes me only about 45 seconds to recognize it. I turn to my friend Erik and point a finger at the ceiling, the universal sign for “You listening to this? This is good” (if that’s not in the ASL alphabet, they’re doing it wrong). Erik nods and leans closer to me.

“Trust me,” I tell him. “You’ll see this artist on the Coachella lineup in two years.”

Just then, a girl who was standing against the bar turns to us. She’s attractive and wearing a dark blue top with some pretty big jewelry around her neck.

“You know Girlpool?” she says to me, but kind of looking at the whole group. Clearly, there is a lot of mutual impressed-ness happening between all of us. But she was talking to me.

“Oh, yeah,” I tell her. I’m playing it cool now. “They’re pretty great.” She smiles at me and moves closer, now addressing me only and not so much the group. Already I’m feeling like something could happen here.

“They’re amazing,” she says. “Probably the most heartening band I’ve heard in a long, long time. It’s such special music.” She looks away for a second. “I can’t believe you like them, or even know about them.” Laughing.

“Yeah,” I say. “You’ll see this artist on the Coachella lineup in two years.”

“I already have my ticket,” she says and laughs.

“Really?” I’m instantly jarred back into reality. “When did they announce the lineup? Is presale available already?”

She looks confused for a second and then laughs again.

“You’re funny,” she says. I’m racking my brain for any recent Coachella news I remember seeing. Tickets cannot be available yet. That’s not possible. That’s almost a year from now. I fight the urge to take out my phone and check right now.

“I’m Ellen,” she says, sticking out her hand.

“Tom,” I say, startled.

“Tom,” she murmurs. “Nice to meet you.” I am at a total loss. I can’t focus on anything now. I take a sip of my beer to buy me some time. Ellen is still looking at me.

“You like these guys?” I say, motioning with my pint glass around the venue, indicating St. Vincent.

“Who? St. Vincent? Yeah, totally, she’s amazing, she’s such a badass.” I notice my friends have sort of dispersed into the crowd.

“So badass,” I say, taking another sip of beer and nodding. Just then, St. Vincent comes out on stage and it’s gets loud in here. We are jostled by everyone around us moving closer to the front. I feel, somehow, rooted to the spot, connected to Ellen. I don’t know what to do next. A group of girls come up to Ellen and engulf her. She looks at me and waves and disappears into the crowd. I’m by myself now and don’t see my friends anywhere.

When St. Vincent (pretty good) is over I’m still waiting on the outskirts of the crowd. I can’t believe that’s how it’s going to end with the Potential Girl of My Dreams. I craned my neck to look for her the entire time but couldn’t really see her and didn’t want to be totally creepy and track her down in the audience. My friends come back.

“Where were you, dude?” Aaron says. “We were like four feet back from the stage. So awesome.”

“I know,” I say. I look around one more time for Ellen as we all make our way out into the warm night and then to Erik’s Forester.

“Tom!” I hear a high voice behind me. I turn and see Ellen walking away from her friend group toward me. Under a street lamp I can see her better. She has brown hair and bangs and a round face.

“Hey,” I say, sort of breaking away from my friends as well. “There you are. You totally…vanished.”

“My friends wanted me with them since I basically dragged them here,” she says, laughing. Then, seeing my grave face, she adds, “Sorry though.”

“No problem.” I shake my head. Silence. “Do you want to have dinner with me?” I say quickly. “We could…talk more about…Girlpool,” I add, in what I hope sounds like an appealingly suggestive way.

“Yeah, of course, yeah,” she says. “Yeah.” She takes out her phone and hands it to me. “Put yourself in there.”

I do and then she texts me so I have her number. I add a new contact: Ellen. I look at the name on my phone and smile and then I look at the girl in front of me and it falters.

“Text me,” she says. “I have to go.”

“I will,” I say. In the backseat of Erik’s Forester, my thigh squished up against Derek’s, craft-beer-drunk and riding home, I tweet an innocuous Drake lyric.

                                                             * * *

That was last weekend. I texted her two days later and after some clutch icebreakers (“Hi it’s Samba Guy, the Girlpool guy from the St. Vincent show last weekend”) we made a plan to meet at a ramen place she knew about this coming Friday, A.K.A. tonight. I’m getting ready, putting on my brand new shoes, which arrived just in time, and––most importantly––taking an extra large dose of serum. I can’t think of anything worse than transforming in front of Ellen’s face on our very first date (not that I intend to ever let her see that happen ever). I pick out a pretty nice looking sweater that’s still casual enough for a first date but looks like I obviously put effort into my appearance. I borrow Erik’s Forester and I’m out the door. I play Run The Jewels to get me pumped up and then when I’m a block away from Ellen’s building I switch it to Girlpool to really set the mood. I pull head first into a huge spot (I’m a pretty bad parallel parker and I’m stressed enough as it is!) that’s luckily vacant and jump out of the car. I send her a text saying I’m outside. Twenty minutes later Ellen comes out onto the sidewalk wearing jeans and a green shirt with an interesting neck area and big necklace.

“Hey,” she says. “Sorry I wasn’t ready, and my friend’s were like freaking out.”

“Not a problem,” I say. I passed the twenty minutes catching up on some Stereogum: there’s a new Run the Jewels parody thing that big-name artists are getting involved with called “Meow the Jewels.” They’ve raised a bunch of money for it already on Kickstarter. It’s absurd, but that’s the point. It’s like a joke turned reality. “You look great.”

We drive to the ramen place. Ellen either doesn’t notice or doesn’t comment on Girlpool playing at a good volume in the car. I ask if she’s seen the Mad Men finale yet. She says she still needs to watch the last few seasons first. I smile to myself. There’s a strong smoky almost medicinal smell I can’t place coming off of her clothes. “That’s cool,” I say. “It was really good.” She’s on her phone for the rest of the car ride.

Inside the ramen place it’s packed and noisy and a stressed-out looking middle aged woman is seating people and taking down names for the waitlist. I tell Ellen I’ll go put our name in. It’s about a twenty-five minute wait. I come back to where Ellen is standing by the glass wall and stand next to her. “Twenty-five minutes, she said,” I say. “Want to wait?”

“Where else would we go?” All around us, seated and standing, are other couples. I don’t see anyone I recognize but I feel nervous and exposed. I have no idea what to say to Ellen. I wish dinner was over and I was at home.

“I don’t know,” I say. “We could wait outside?”

“Sure,” she says. We step outside, me keeping the door open as she walks out in front of me. Another couple comes in as I’m still holding the door. The girl knows Ellen.

“Hiiiii,” she says to Ellen. “What are you doing here? I can’t believe this, hi.”

“Heyyyyyyyy,” Ellen says. “How are you! What’s up, have you been here before?”

“Yeah, we come here like a lot,” the girl says, motioning to the guy, who is now talking the middle aged hostess. “It’s amazing.” I smile at her and look straight ahead. Ellen makes no mention of me. I’m still holding the door open. The girl is still sort of standing in the walkway, Ellen is on the sidewalk.

“What’re you doing later,” the girl asks.

“No idea,” Ellen says. “Why? Are you guys gonna be around?”

“Yeah girl,” she says. “It’s likely. Text me later.” She goes inside and walks to a table where the guy is already sitting, his jacket around the back of the chair, looking at his phone. He puts it down when the girl sits down. Ellen sees this happen. It occurs to me they take reservations.

“You should have made reservations,” Ellen says to me. “It is a Friday.”

Twenty minutes later we’re sitting at a small table in the humid back corner of the restaurant. The glass wall against our table is fogged with condensation. Ellen draws boobs in it. And then adds a shaft, turning it into a dick and balls.

“I’m glad we could do this,” I’m saying. “It’s great to see you again.”

“Yeah,” she says. “I didn’t think you’d text me.” I don’t know what this means. I try to change course.

“You listened to Girlpool lately?” I ask. Ellen looks at me for a moment, placing something.

“Not really,” she says finally, excruciatingly. Another pause. She seems to decide something else. “So what’d you do?”

“I work at a start-up,” I say. “It’s called Winyl, it like pairs drinks with the perfect music.”

Imperceptible interest registers on Ellen’s face. I continue: “Like what’s the best song to play while drinking this IPA, that kind of thing…”

“So what would you pair with this right now?” she says, pointing at her ice water.

“Well I’m not sure, I mean, the app uses like an algorithm. You either input the drink, or you let it listen to the music. It can pair it both ways.”

“Can I see your phone?” she asks abruptly. I hesitate. “I want to try it in here.”

“Oh, it’s not done yet. Like it’s not an app yet. I’m sort of helping out on a freelance basis.” Another long pause. I look up at her. I realize her eyes are green and not blue (the glow of her phone had thrown off their true color) and say, “Do you have Snapchat?”

“No,” she says. “I’m old-school.”

“Oh,” I say. “I respect that.” And then: “There’s a new Run the Jewels parody thing that big-name artists are getting involved with called ‘Meow the Jewels,’” I tell her. “They’ve raised a bunch of money for it already on Kickstarter. It’s absurd, but that’s the point. It’s like a joke turned reality.”

“That’s rad,” she says. “That’s actually rad.” I smile at her and she looks right at me. It feels as if all the most exciting parts of a new relationship have combined with all the ease and familiarity of an old friend. The effect is something like spiked hot chocolate: warm, comforting, intoxicating.

“Do you know who Lord Huron is?” she says. I feel her foot nudge mine.

                                                             * * *

After dinner, I’m feeling sick from the ramen and my face and head is sweaty. I pay the check and we get up slowly and walk outside, emerging into the cool and actually very pleasant night. A dog is barking somewhere and the sun is just setting over San Francisco. We’re walking to the car now and I’m not sure what’s going to happen. I’m much more comfortable now, but now that we’re back in motion, in a new and uncertain environment, I don’t know what the next step is supposed to be. I decide to say nothing and just see what happens. In the Forester we sit for a moment. I almost speak––wonder aloud what we should do––when Ellen asks, “Have you seen the new Game of Thrones yet? I still need to watch it. We could do that. I don’t want this night to end yet. My roommates have HBOGo.”

“I actually haven’t,” I lie. “That sounds awesome.” Ellen actually looks excited. I smile at her and start the car. She plugs her iPhone into the tape adapter and “I Love You, Honeybear” by Father John Misty starts playing. How sexy is that?

– Samba Guy, May 18, 2015

[leagueofawesomedudes]

Week 7 Preview:

Week 7 Preview:

Welcome to the week 7 iteration of the preview written by the Squads’ southern-most member. While I begin to write this, I am struggling to come up with fresh humor to throw at you all. So this preview might be like TJ’s version of a marathon, I’ll only do half it. Although, If I put in half as much effort as solden has put into getting laid lately, then this thing will be longer than Sam’s sweet clean meat after seeing Jared as Han Swolo. Ive rambled long enough so we should probably slide into this weeks matchups like Holla slide into Robins boats, head first.  

 Matchups:

G-reg 3rd Leg vs The Brady Bunch

So after 3 years of not changing my name from the generic name given, I decided to switch it up. Why not name my Team after Greg. Gotta rep the 7th floor crew while we still can and Greg was about as reliable as Joe Thomas. Hadn’t missed a regular season game in 9, yes 9 years. So next year I’m naming my team after a player Sam’s team, that’ll fuck him over. Now, with Aaron Rodgers going down, G-regs third leg doesn’t have much left to stand on. But after numerous trade inquiries, a new QB will take over and its none other than Big dick Mitch. I square off against Doug this week. Doug is 3-3, that’s such a Doug Record. Doug certainly has some talent on his team, we’ll see if Kareeem Hunt can continue to over perform. Dez will prolyl have a solid game against SF, and Brady will put up numbers against Atlanta, So this one looks to Be in the Shady Bunch’s favor but I cant bet against myself.

 So G-reg will show the Brady Bunch his third leg and will come home with a win. In the end, everything is a dick measuring contest anyway. Unless you’re TJ, and you always fall back on the hole big balls thing.

3rd leg>1 shade of grey

 Jon SnOBJs vs Crows before Hoes

 I’m not sure why Paul named his team this. Are you that big of a Crowell fan? If so, don’t tell TJ. I’m somewhat disappointed pot stirrin paul has been fairly silent this week. Of all weeks, it’s time for a little stirring to get Chads vein popping, as well as the one on his forehead. Going through the rosters this week I noticed one anomaly.  Paul not only has one black QB, but he has two. For that reason, I pretty much have to pick team BJ. Team No Bj, is looking thin this week too. A team that once looked like it could catch more balls than Pauly on a Friday night, now just isn’t the same. With the news that Chad is going to start two tight ends and neither is named gronk, jimmy, or martellus, that has made this decision just a little bit harder. But since much of fantasy is due to luck and not managerial skill, which Sam has been proven the last 3 years, I will pick Chad. Despite him starting two tight ends, the only tight end Chad is interested in, is Paul’s.

 Jon SnOBjs > Pauls tight end

 Hollas Heavy Hitters vs The injured Reserve

I expect big things out of Matty Ice this week going against a weak Patriots secondary. Congrats to Holla for having one of the best looking guys in the NFL according to the research we did at Paul’s, Eric Decker. But Choll has Amendola, also highly ranked. Starting any player who plays the browns is always a good move, its even better if you can start two like Holla, Decker and D. Walker. Across the board, Holla has good matchups, Shady is even going against a weak Tampa D. I’m not sure if either of these managers drafted their teams, set their lineups, or even read this preview. I do however know Holla Bee-bopped and hopscotched around Athens for HC. Casey got in huge trouble from the old lady for being the vicinity of another female while in Athens.  And Doug still has a 401K. Got a bit off track there, but so has Sammy Watkins who is one of Cholls wideouts.  I continue to expect big numbers out of the rookie Fournette as well as Jordan Howard as the Bears ease in the Pretty Boy Assassin. I think this one goes to Choll despite Hollas favorable matchups. But who knows, even a broken clock is right twice a day, unless you’re Paul who never knows if its right.

 Choll Sauce>Guy appreciates Robin’s boats

2 Gurleys, 1 Cup vs Aint EZ being Breesy

To start on a positive note, at least both of these teams are named after players who are actually on their teams. I mean anyone who wants to see a fucked up video should watch the 2 girls 1 cup video. I assume Sam watches it daily. This is a tough one though. I’m torn between hoping for a tie and Sam losing by the smallest margin possible on Monday night. And it’s actually very possible since he is starting captain kirk who plays on MNF this week. But on the flip side, Solden has been firing shots the last few days about getting this preview out so I kind of want him to lose too. I guess as the saying goes, you cant have your cake and eat it too. But I don’t like cake, so Ill have my cake and do whatever I want with it. Outside of Brees and Gronk, Soldens team is weak. Sam is down to Bell and Gurley and a bunch of average guys . So who knows. Both teams being 3-3 makes this a pretty even matchup. But I would be remise if I didn’t remind Sam that I may have one of the worst teams in the league now that ive been battered by injuries harder than Zeke punching his GF, that I beat you. I did my part to ensure you don’t get lucky one more time. But just like Sam on a Saturday night, solden won’t close on Monday. Sam will roll over Solden Harder than his hard part this week. Speaking of your part. If you invested the $25 per month you spend on your haircut, you’d have nearly $150,000 by the time you are 65. Just sayin.

 Pussy Repellent > skinny Solden

 Julio Tones vs Little Diggs

Speaking of hair, TJ is now the face of Just for Men. That’s a slippery slope bro. Once you start you cant stop. Is Dre into the mustache rides? she must be cuz i see no other reason to deal with that facial hair. TJ is obviously going through a lot of changes lately so we should be nice. He has a girlfriend, ran a marathon, and took action on a hairline that is running from his forehead faster than him running that marathon. So really this matchup is of the haves and have nots with regard to hair that is. Ive been pretty outspoken over the years on my feelings about Derek Carr and more recently Zeke. I really don’t like overrated players. Too much credit is tossed around in a game that is so reliant on the rest of the team and play calls. TJs team reminds me a lot of one of my favorite sayings: Big hat, no cattle. I really like little Diggs Team which is something I haven’t said yet today. He has studs top to bottom, even his bench is stacked. I am not sure how many of these guys you drafted or how you got them, but damn. Now it looks like there is quite a few guys who are dinged up on your roster so that could set you back more than you set Solden back the night you played video game till 930 before going out. Cuz the girls you meet at 930 are definitely your best bet at getting laid.. As I write this I got the message from Chad in the Group me about how much he is enjoying the preview. If only I had more time to tear part him and his jeans that are just alittle too tight I would. I hope casey pees in your bed right before you bring home one of those sculped lesbos.

 Little Diggs drags sack on Julio Tones this week.

 Little Diggs>Julio Tones

 As we head into the weekend, I hope to see you all soon. Im sure chad is getting geeked up for Thursday night football, his least favorite version of the NFL but he’s a football guy so he has to watch it. I hope all of you who went to the jets game rather than come down to Homecoming had fun watching a former Browns QB shred us on a shitty team. I know chads little pecker got hard when he saw the snow started flying in Athens. You guys totally made the right decision.. Its too bad Jared isn’t in the league anymore. Theres some solid material on him. Oh well, his girlfriend probably wouldn’t let him read this anyway. But thanks for reading this far if you did. If not I’m not surprised, I know none of you can last this long.

 -Snowman

[tinymixtapes]

Live Blog: Riot Fest 2017

Riot Fest 2017 Douglas Park; Chicago, IL [September 15-17] by Joe Hemmerling on 09-27-2017 Looking back a year on from my Riot Fest 2016 coverage, I can marvel at my own naivety. Languishing in the jaws of the presidential election cycle, I (and many like me) thought this was as bad as it could get. Trump’s ascent to the top of his party — fueled by a complex cocktail of white nationalism, working-class rage, misogyny, and partisan inertia — had exposed some hard truths about this country that many of us didn’t want to face, but we were coming up on the finish line. November wasn’t too far around the corner, and when the dust settled, we were confident that we’d have a president who, while not universally beloved (even among her own constituents), would at least restore a semblance of sanity to federal politics. But we all know how that turned out. This year’s festival roster responded to the direness of our present political situation in a variety of ways. Ministry’s Al Jourgensen answered with fury and exhortations to violent resistance, Gogol Bordello’s Eugene Hutz and Pedro Erazo with calls for unity among people of good will — hell, even the happy-go-lucky Tim Kinsella of Cap’n Jazz let slip the nihilistic observation that his privileges are paid for by the murders of people all over the world. The enormity of Trump’s presidency threatens to make punk rock’s defiant posturing look hollow and inconsequential. Yet it was a challenge many of the performers were willing to meet head on, even if some of the boldest, most transgressive, and genuinely punk performances of the Fest came from outside the white male-dominated sphere of punk rock. But before we get too far into that, let’s take care of some administrative items: * Despite last year being the biggest yet for the festival, Riot Fest scaled back for 2017, cutting out its Denver fest and paring back its lineup to 91 acts. This may, in part, be due to recent death of fest founder, Sean McKeough (May he riot in peace). * While I feel for Denver missing out, the smaller lineup was a boon. Bands got longer sets, and it made it easier and more worthwhile to cut out in the middle of a set if there were overlapping acts you wanted to watch. * This being our third year attending the festival (“our” being my wife and I), we tried to take in a little more of the nonmusical aspects, getting some yummy street tacos from Tica’s and witnessing the death-defying high wire acrobatics of Circus Una. * Security was friendly, but, like, maybe too friendly. The guards felt around my wife’s bust for that switchblade and set of brass knuckles she stores in her bra (lucky for us she stowed them back in the glove compartment). But, honestly, they could have strip-searched me and put three fingers up my asshole because (most importantly)… * FREE BEER WAS BACK IN THE PRESS TENT. The courteous festival staff kept the wheels of journalism thoroughly lubricated with all the Dos Equis and Heineken we could get down our gullets. --- The Essentials Saul Williams (Photo: Amanda Athon) Genre-bending rapper and father of slam poetry, Saul Williams began his set Friday with an improvised spoken word rendition of “Coded Language,” all those lengthy clauses beginning with and punctuated by the legalistic conjunction “whereas,” culminating in a litany of radicals, artists, and martyrs. But while the framework of his jeremiad was familiar, its contents were targeted specifically at us. “A riot is not a festival,” he chided. “A riot is a violent disturbance of the peace by a crowd.” And to drive his point home further: “Your punk rock isn’t that punk rock if it doesn’t make fascists explode.” It took a moment for me to realize that the stage behind him was bare of equipment and that no band would be joining him. This drew hostility from some in the crowd, at least one member of which repeatedly shouted, “We came to hear music!” as he trudged off in the direction of the main stages. Williams was undaunted, taking aim at targets as large as the Catholic Church and Silicon Valley and as small as the Trump-supporting members of his audience. He attacked the gender binary, the digital revolution, and the sharing economy using the “Hack into…” lyrical framework of “Colton as Cotton,” before launching into an a capella rendition of “Black Stacey.” It was probably the gutsiest performance I’ve seen in my life, standing on that stage all alone and putting to lie the late capitalist notion that we can spend our way to a revolution, to call each member of the audience to account for their part in the oppressive structures that weigh us all down (albeit not equally). Unlike the Prophets Of Rage, who on Sunday asked their audience if they were ready to have a good time, Williams was there to educate, not to entertain. Next to him, even the most radical declarations of resistance seemed like kids’ stuff. Cute Riot Fest audience members (Photo: Amanda Athon) Friday’s other highlight was industrial metal pioneers Ministry. Uncle Al was eager to tell his audience how happy he was to be home, joking, “You all know I’m from here. Some of you have probably ripped me off on cab fare.” They played a relentless, career-spanning set, including a brand new song from their forthcoming album, “Antifa,” celebrating the anarchist resistance network. Watching masked dancers parade around the stage waving red and black flags filled me with a curious sense of unease. The uncritical acceptance of vigilante justice that I see coming from certain corners of the left is alarming for a variety of reasons that I don’t have the space for here, but suffice to say that I personally regard Antifa’s rise to prominence as, at best, a risky development for political discourse in America. Jourgenson’s embrace of the controversial group is hardly surprising, given his outspoken leftwing politics and heavy metal’s enshrinement of ideological, as well as sonic, extremity. In fact, a Ministry show seems like exactly the place where buttoned-up lefties can crow over fascists chowing down on a knuckle sandwich. I guess I just never thought we’d reach a point where the kinds of things that get shouted out at a heavy metal concert were being considered as a blueprint for political strategy. My political hand-wringing aside, Ministry was on fire. Jorgenson’s voice is as caustic as ever, and his band remains a finely honed engine of destruction. In lieu of footage from the stage, the band fed surreal psychedelic imagery into the screens: distorted pictures of nude women bleeding into news coverage, music video footage, and internet memes. They ripped through mid- and late-career highlights like “Senor Peligro” and “Bad Blood,” but aside from opening their set with “Psalm 69,” they saved most of their classics for a whirlwind four-song finale of “N.W.O.,” “Just One Fix,” “Thieves,” and “So What.” Peaches (Photo: Amanda Athon) If Saul and Al had to split ownership of Friday between them, Saturday belonged entirely to Peaches. The Canadian provocateur delivered a riotous and confrontational set of explicit sexuality and gender-fuckery. She opened with her ode to female ejaculation, “Rub,” wearing an absurdly bulky pink fur-suit and anatomically detailed vagina hat. During her second song “Vaginaplasty,” her backup dancers sauntered out in enormous vaginal headgear, while the artist herself stripped down to a flesh-colored leotard to which giant purple nipples and a fuzzy pink merkin had been affixed. By her third song, she was over the photo-pit rail and into the audience, and by the end of the fourth, her leotard was down around her waist. There were no fucks given. When Peaches needed to switch costumes, she turned her back and stepped out of whatever she was wearing right in front of the audience. Her dancers shed more and more clothing as the show went on, until by the end they were topless in a latticework of fetish-gear and undulating against the singer in simulated sex acts. Peaches performed a good chunk of the time in nothing but her skivvies and flesh-colored nipple-covers. It was, by turns, hilarious, titillating, and unnerving (like, should we be seeing this? Is this LEGAL?). Despite the lack of explicit political commentary, Peaches’ defiant ribaldry felt like an act of resistance, an expression of female power and self-determination. And it was some of the most fun I had the whole weekend. High-Wire acrobats (Photo: Amanda Athon) Still, despite the stiff competition, my absolute favorite set of the fest belongs to Chicago’s own Cap’n Jazz. This marks the seminal Midwestern emo group’s second reunion since their dissolution in 1995. Reunions as a whole tend to reek of cash-grabbery, and usually they don’t improve in quality upon repetition, but Sunday’s performance was as pure and unique a concert-going experience as I’ve ever been part of. Frontman Tim Kinsella may have crossed the threshold into his forties, but he remains a childlike presence, hurling his body across the stage, turning sloppy backwards somersaults, and generally jackassing around with the audience. His ebullience was infectious and his seeming disregard for his own safety and the integrity of the performance created an electric tension. Kinsella made a game between songs of requesting the return of a tambourine that he’d tossed out into the audience, and then throwing it immediately back into the crowd. During their cover of “Take on Me,” he hurled his mic over the photopit rail, but somehow managed to recover it just in time for the big final chorus, just like he miraculously recovered his sunglasses, lost early on in a crowd-surfing excursion. His bandmates played the grownups, with drummer Mike occasionally bristling over his brother’s showboating. They kept the grooves going when Tim’s shenanigans came between him and his singing duties, like during closer “Que Suerte!” when Tim stuffed the mic down his pants, threaded it through the bottom of his jeans, only to stick it back down once more and thread it down the other leg (he needed help from the security team to get it out his second pant leg). But if all of this sounds like the music took a backseat to the antics, you can put that right out of your head. The band was in peak form, hitting all the lurching starts and stops, tempo and signature shifts like clockwork, and all the while, they looked like they were having the time of their lives. Third Kinsella brother and American Football alum Nate stood in for Davey von Bohlen on guitar and brought a fan’s enthusiasm to the proceedings. Their set covered almost everything from their sole album Burritos, Inspiration Point… aside from “Bluegrassish,” “Flashpoint: Catheter,” and “Precious,” and they filled the rest of the set out with favorites like “Ooh I Do Love You” and “Forget Who Are.” --- Let-downs Bad Brains (Photo: Amanda Athon) This is uncomfortable for me to say, so I’m just going to blurt it out. X and Bad Brains were pretty boring live. I know. I KNOW. These guys are legends. They’ve been doing this for four decades now. They have nothing to prove. They’re up there in the years, and at least in H.R.’s case have health concerns. Not everyone can be Iggy Pop, who’s pushing a thousand and still writhing around on the floor like a teenager. They still sounded great, but there wasn’t a lot of energy in their sets. Saturday night’s penultimate act At the Drive-In had the opposite problem. Cedric Bixler-Zavala still tosses the mic around and launches himself off the drumkit with no apparent care about whether he’ll come down on his feet, but the volume they were playing at really muddied their sound and overwhelmed Omar Rodriguez-Lopez’s precise guitarwork. It was still enjoyable to hear my favorite cuts off Relationship of Command, from which their set drew heavily, but years of being baited by ATDI’s reputation as a live band set my expectations at a level they couldn’t quite reach. Plus, no “Transatlantic Foe”? Come on, guys… --- Honorable Mentions Liars (Photo: Amanda Athon) I’ve drifted away from Liars’ recorded output over the years, but there’s no question these guys can still bring it live. Angus Andrew stalked onto the stage in a white wedding dress, his long lace veil billowing in the wind. Standing before a small podium, he fiddled with dials that hellishly distorted his vocals during the bouncier electronic numbers like “Mess on a Mission” and “House Clouds,” as well as on more harrowing fare like “Scarecrow on a Killer Slant.” The Buzzcocks made a good showing for old-head punk rock. Their hit-laden set (anyone with a copy of Singles Going Steady could do a reasonable job keeping score at home) was brisk and tuneful, and their chemistry forty-plus years in the making shined through at every turn, particularly on spacier numbers like “Why Can’t I Touch It?” Finally Nine Inch Nails brought Friday to a close with a riveting headlining performance. The fog-machines were going into overdrive throughout the set, such that the stage was constantly cloaked in billowing smoke like the steaming maw of hell. Reznor was intense, if a little aloof as he careened throughout his discography, lightly dusting his set with hits like “The Hand that Feeds,” “Closer,” and “Head Like a Hole.” Buzzcocks (Photo: Amanda Athon) Gogol Bordello (Photo: Amanda Athon) Gogol Bordello brought their brand of feel-good bedlam to the fest on Saturday and convinced me that I need to revisit Transcontinental Hustle. I was left pretty cold by the album when it came out back in 2010, but goddamn if every cut they played off it didn’t bring the house down, particularly “We Comin’ Rougher (Immigraniada),” which has taken on a pointed significance in the era of Trump. Following Dinosaur Jr.’s sublime album playthrough of You’re Living All Over Me, I crashed the angry party that Prophets Of Rage were throwing on Sunday night long enough to hear them drop a pair of RATM covers (“Testify” and “Take the Power Back”) amid some original songs from their hot-off-the-presses eponymous debut. But it was the siren song of M.I.A. that ultimately seduced me. The British emcee was in fine form, if surprisingly mute on politics. She knocked out hit after hit for her eager crowd, while a mesmerizing light show engulfed the stage. At the risk of losing all my punk cred, after that kind of spectacle, Jawbreaker just couldn’t hold my interest. Beyond one or two songs of Dear You, I’d never quite managed to find my way into them, but the die-hards in the front row seemed to be getting everything they wanted out of them, so that’s all that matters, right? --- And that, in a nutshell, was Riot Fest 2017. There’s a ton I missed out on, including Shabazz Palaces, Wu Tang Clan performing 36 Chambers, Built to Spill’s play-through of Keep It Like a Secret, and festival mainstays Gwar and Andrew W.K., but some of the sets I was able to take in this year numbered among the most powerful and exhilarating festival experiences I’ve ever witnessed. As the situation in the outside world grows more dire, we continue to look to art for solace, and there was plenty of that to be found. But the bravest artists offered something we needed more: a kick in the ass to get back out there and try to change something, however small and however futile that might appear. http://j.mp/2fSiPUP

[madpicks]

New Post has been published on http://www.madpicks.com/sports/soccer/serie-2017-18-season-team-previews-summer-transfers-predictions-and-more/

Serie A 2017-18 season: Team previews, summer transfers, predictions, and more

The Serie A season is finally set to begin this weekend, and it’s been a tumultuous summer in Italy. You’ll never find a more dramatic place in sports than you will in the brand of calcio played in Italy, and given the whirlwind of transfer activity in the league this season, it’s looking like a lot of change is in the wind.

Juventus haven’t made the same kind of splashes they did over the last few years, and if anything may have gotten weaker, especially with keystone defender Leonardo Bonucci jumping ship to AC Milan. Milan, meanwhile, have made several massive signings this summer and look like they’re going to challenge for the title for the first time in years. Inter Milan have made sweeping changes, AS Roma have had a difficult summer, and Napoli are banking on the same exciting squad from last year bringing them better fortune this season.

After years of Juventus domination in Italy, it’s looking like the field in Serie A could be wide open this season. To that end, we gathered the managers of our Serie A sites in SB Nation: Napoli’s The Siren’s Song, Juventus’ Black & White & Read All Over, the AC Milan Offside, Roma’s Chiesa di Totti, Inter’s Serpents of Madonnina, and Fiorentina’s Viola Nation. They sat down and answered a few key questions about the season to come, giving their views on a chaotic summer and difficult-to-predict Serie A campaign.

The landscape of Serie A has changed very little over the last few years, but it looks like we’re seeing a big shift this summer.

Teams like AC Milan and Inter Milan have made significant changes this season, while teams like Juventus and Napoli have done little. Are we seeing the first signs of a changing of the guard at the top of Serie A?

Conor Dowley, The Siren’s Song: There’s a good chance of it. It’s going to take a while for Milan and Inter to jell, but once they do both teams look like they have the potential to be scary. I question the quality of Milan’s manager and Inter’s balance, but if they can answer those questions, the field could be pretty wide open this season, especially with Juventus, Napoli, and Roma not exactly enjoying impressive summers.

Danny Penza, Black & White & Read All Over: The Milan clubs are “to be determined” for me, because who knows how long it will take for them to jell as a team. We’ve seen Inter make plenty of big-money moves over the last five or so years and it’s ended up … not so great. Milan have seemingly taken things to another level this summer, basically signing what seems like a brand new starting XI and paying quite a pretty penny to do so.

Juventus have made moves, signing a pair of quality wingers in Douglas Costa and Federico Bernardeschi. How long it takes Max Allegri to use them both in the starting lineup remains to be seen. But even with the loss of Leonardo Bonucci, it’s not like Juve have sat on their hands and done nothing to try and improve their roster. (And based on the transfer rumors that have been there pretty much all summer, keeping a hold of Alex Sandro and Paulo Dybala is a victory in of itself right there.)

James Rushton, AC Milan Offside: Maybe not so much of a changing of the guard as a return to order with a slight difference with a bit of spice. We might certainly see a lot more competitive action at the top with a number of teams trying to stake their claim not only for the European Places, but also for the title. It will interesting, that’s for sure.

Bren, Chiesa di Totti: I certainly hope so. Juve’s run, as impressive as it might be, is bad for the overall health of the league, both in terms of perception and reality. Having the same results year after year sort of damages the credibility of Serie A as a vibrant and competitive league.

Having said that, I think Juventus are still the favorites this year, but there’s no denying that both Milan sides are genuine threats for Italy’s European places. Juventus, Napoli, and Roma were well-stocked last season, so they didn’t have to do as much work in the open market as AC Milan. But now that the Rossoneri have reloaded and Inter have a decent coach, Italy now has five sides that should make noise in Europe, hopefully boosting the profile of the league in the process.

Matt Clark, Serpents of Madonnina: I’m not sure that big change will yield big results. There are a lot of factors that go into the change. Inter, for example, were a bit of a disaster after last year and brought in Luciano Spalletti to guide the ship. That was really the biggest change. AC Milan have garnered the headlines mainly because of the money they have spent. I don’t know that it equals to instantaneous league glory. Juventus and Napoli haven’t changed much because they really didn’t have to. So I don’t know if changes made mean a wholesale change atop Serie A.

Tito Kohout, Viola Nation: Man, if you’d asked this question, like, a week ago, I’d have said that Fiorentina had dropped well into the bottom half of the table. Recent events, though, have the team and the tifosi trending upward in a big way. That said, we’re not getting too carried away. It takes time for a new coach and seven new starters to translate to consistency, especially after a rocky preseason.

The Viola are certainly behind Juventus, the Milan clubs, Roma, Napoli, and Lazio, while Sampdoria and Torino are around the same level. With the distraction of European competition, though, Atalanta will probably regress. I guess this is my long-winded way of saying that a top-eight finish that includes some fun football and impressive showings from the various youngsters who’ll have major roles in this team would have to be a success.

Has your club done enough to secure their place in the league and improve themselves this summer?

Conor: At this point, I can only give Napoli an “incomplete” on their summer. Their incoming transfers were always going to be dictated by whether or not they could clear some deadweight from their wage bill and make the Champions League group stage, and as of opening weekend they’ve done neither. They’re in good shape to make the group stage, but that’s not a guarantee yet, so the checkbook hasn’t really opened yet because of it. Right now, they’ve basically got the same squad that saw them finish third a year ago — and while that team is very good and probably better than that standing, it’s legitimate to ask if they’re good enough to compete for the title in this season’s Serie A.

Danny: Has Juventus improved the quality of who Max Allegri has to choose from on the wings? Yes. Has Juventus improved the quality of who Max Allegri has to choose from in the center of the midfield? Well, no, not really. Daniele Rugani could very well offset the loss of Leonardo Bonucci if he is given an extended run out of games. But Juventus’ center midfield is basically the same group of very good but not great players they had last season — and that’s even throwing in the potential addition of Blaise Matuidi.

James: Certainly. For Milan, I’m not sure what more they could have done to improve. Key areas across the pitch have been consulted and players have been brought into not only strengthen weaker areas, but also bolster strong areas.

Photo by Marco Luzzani/Getty Images

Bren: Ha! Granted Roma’s cupboards weren’t exactly bare to begin with, but they haven’t effectively replaced Antonio Rudiger or Mohamed Salah in either form or function. So I’m afraid as things stand now, they’re going to get lapped by Napoli at the very least, while Milan could present a credible threat to the top three if all their new signings click in relatively short order.

Matt: I think Inter’s first real change was bringing in Spalletti. I think he is the manager they need at this time. There haven’t been any real splash signings during the summer transfer, but adding Borja Valero, Matias Vecino, Dalbert, and Milan Skriniar are definite improvements that were needed.

Tito: What with the recent flurry of activity, it seems like most of the holes are plugged now. While a top-notch right-back or winger would be great, I doubt either will materialize, and I’m OK with that. This is a rebuilding year in Florence, and that means giving minutes to untested youngsters like Ianis Hagi, Rafik Zekhnini, and Nikola Milenkovic. There will definitely be some growing pains, and we’re expecting that, but sitting back and seeing what exactly the club has on its hands, and whether it’s good enough to build around for the next several seasons.

What do you most fear for the upcoming Serie A season?

Conor: One or both Milan teams surging while Napoli suffer doldrums. Don’t get me wrong, the Milan clubs being good is great for Serie A in a business sense, but if they get rolling and Napoli can’t keep up because of one of their almost-traditional spells of struggling mediocrity that sees them slip down the table, it could make for a tough, tough season to catch back up.

Danny: Honestly, my biggest fear is that Max Allegri will rely on Medhi Benatia rather than letting Daniele Rugani loose in the starting lineup. Benatia has struggled ever since he put on a Juventus jersey for the first time and hasn’t looked any better during the preseason. Rugani, on the other hand, has battled injuries but has done very well whenever he’s gotten consistent playing time. Rugani — and Mattia Caldara, too — is certainly the future of Juve’s defense. But knowing what’s happened this summer, that future may also be the present.

James: A collapse. Look, when you bring in this many players, not much can worry you except one thing — will these players jell? If they don’t, we may panic and that only leads to silly decisions that scupper seasons.

Bren: Hmm, the amount of running tracks surrounding their collective grounds? In a more immediate and pressing sense, Napoli’s offense should be able to bowl over virtually anyone. With a bit of luck and some good health, they could end Juventus’ run of dominance. There may not be a better trio of attacking talent in the game than Lorenzo Insigne, Dries Mertens and Marek Hamisk — you know, now that Neymar, Messi and Suarez have been broken apart.

Matt: I fear the unknown. I think there is a Leicester City situation brewing in the league. There is going to be a team none of us really expect to be in the top tier be in the top tier. Maybe that’s not a fear but definitely something to watch for.

Tito: Definitely shouldn’t ditch the veteran team leaders for nothing, because losing, say, Borja Valero and Gonzalo Rodriguez would cripple this team and its fans. Oh. Wait. No, that happened already.

Anyway, the club needs to avoid pissing off anyone else. The Della Valle family — who own ACF Fiorentina — have earned themselves a reputation for pettiness after a number of acrimonious player moves (e.g., the lawsuit against Mohamed Salah), and that reputation, combined with a refusal to pay top wages, has turned Florence into a rather undesirable piazza for a lot of young players, who instead end up at teams like Sampdoria or Atalanta (e.g., Dennis Praet, who nearly moved to Fiorentina before a public falling-out with management via his dad pushed him to Sampdoria). The blatant disregard for any player over 25 is a good start to convince young players that a move is in their best interests, but the Della Valles need to prove that they’re not as vindictive as they’ve seemed over the past half decade. Letting Primavera goalkeeper Giacomo Satalino leave for Sassuolo in search of more playing time was a good start, but a few more gracious actions wouldn’t be ignored.

With spending increasing rapidly across Europe, do the continued financial struggles of clubs like Fiorentina concern you for the near-term future of Italian football?

Conor: Yes. Very much so. Especially since Napoli have never really been able to swing with the big boys financially — they’re a wonderfully talented and exciting and well-run team, but they don’t seem to be able to draw major financial sponsorships like Juventus or the Milans or Roma or any other big club in Europe. Napoli are generally run better than Fiorentina — or worse, than Parma was a few years ago — but it could be tough for them to stay where they are long term unless they can consistently get that Champions League money.

Photo by Paolo Bruno/Getty Images

Danny: There’s always going to be concerns about finances in Italy because Serie A is not even close to being as marketed as the other leagues. The EPL is getting huge money from their broadcast rights. Serie A? Not nearly as much.

James: I think we all have to worry. Milan’s spending is one thing, but the relative spend of the ‘also-rans’ across Europe is rising. Could this bubble burst? Maybe. Let’s just hope the head honchos of Italian football are smart enough to plan for that increasingly likely occasion.

Bren: The financial struggles of all Italian clubs, bar Juventus, should concern any Serie A fan. Milan is only relevant again due to an injection of €200-plus million, so it’s not as if this is the end result of a grassroots rebuild. The decreased exposure of Italian football, especially compared to its English and Spanish counterparts, has taken a toll on the league’s bottom line in terms of advertising and broadcast revenue, which, quite naturally, impacts the product on the pitch. I don’t know that we can expect top-down fiscal solvency, but having a healthy Fiorentina to join the big five would go a long way to ensuring Serie A thrives.

Matt: The league is going to have to find ways to bring in new revenue for teams. This likely means a new television deal. The Premier League had a cash infusion because of the deal with NBC to bring games to the U.S. Now it is the richest league in the world. Serie A is going to start negotiating in the immediate future, and there are several players coming to sit at that table. That would be an equitable way to bring cash to every club in the league.

Tito: Fiorentina’s financial struggles aren’t entirely what they’re made out to be, with the Viola actually proving to be quite aggressive with all the money they’ve gotten from sales this season. Their net spend is small, but they’ve gathered a lot of interesting young talent who should (keyword, should!) make this team a lot better. That said, Fiorentina definitely can’t spend with the big boys, even just relevant to Serie A, and that’s going to be a problem with sleeping giants like the Milans seeming to finally wake up.

If you had to predict one big, shocking turn of events this season in Serie A, what would it be?

Conor: I think an Italian team is going to win a European trophy this season. But that’s not strictly in Serie A, so…I think there’s a very real chance that one or more of Udinese, Sassuolo, or Sampdoria finish in the top six this season thanks to a couple of fortunate hot streaks for them and unexpected long-term struggles from the likes of Atalanta, Lazio, Roma, Inter, or — hopefully not — Napoli.

Photo by Emilio Andreoli/Getty Images

Danny: Even with all of their summer spending, Milan will have to use a late-season push to guarantee a top-four finish this season. Who knows? Maybe it’s another year in the Europa League. (Which, for Leonardo Bonucci, will be somewhat poetic justice.)

James: Shocking? I think Milan might be in a position to challenge for a title. Only if everything goes right though! After seasons of poor form, that’d be a shock to the system for me if they win it.

Bren: Dang, that’s a tough question. I think, or at least I hope, the non-Juventus sides can do some damage in the Champions League. Napoli and Roma certainly have the depth to at least advance out of the group stages, but taking that a step further would certainly be beneficial for the long-term health and popularity of the league.

Matt: If there was a shocking turn of events, I would say two of the promoted teams will finish mid-table this season. Don’t ask me which two, but I can see two.

Tito: How about we go against the grain a bit? Neither Milan team finishes in the Champions League places — and one of them doesn’t even finish in a European place.

What are you most looking forward to this season?

Conor: Watching Napoli’s attack take another step forward. At their best, they had arguably the most exciting attack in Europe last season — and it never quite seemed like they ever quite reached their peak of capability. If they can find that extra gear, it could be terrifyingly fun to watch Marek Hamsik, Dries Mertens, Lorenzo Insigne, and Jose Callejon do their thing this season.

Danny: Another year of Paulo Dybala and Gonzalo Higuain playing alongside one another. How Federico Bernardeschi finds his way at Italy’s biggest club.

And to make it not all about Juventus, how fast it truly does take all of Milan’s new signings to integrate into that squad, how many will boom and how many will be meh or basically bust. They’ve spent a whooooooooole lot of money, and that usually means there isn’t necessarily a lot of patience that comes along with so many euros being thrown around.

James: Football! Italian Football is something else. We want drama, shocks, goals, and thrills. With more teams aiming for the top spot, it should be a thrilling season. Forza Milan!

Bren: I think it has to be the return to prominence of the Milan sides. While they won’t immediately return to their former glory, their resurgence should ensure a legitimate race for the Scudetto in the years to come. Having as many as five teams battling for the championship year in and year out is something only the Premiership can rival. In terms of individual talents, I look forward to the likes of Insigne, Hamsik, Paulo Dybala and Radja Nainggolan cementing their places among the game’s best and brightest.

Matt: I am looking forward to the start of the season. This will be my first full season in the Serpents of Madonnina community [ed. note: Matt took over the site after the end of last season, so wish him a warm welcome if you haven’t already!], and I am pretty excited about the potential for interaction and being able to write about the Nerazzurri for a solid fan base.

Tito: Seeing Fiorentina prove the doubters wrong and put on a much more impressive season than people are thinking they will.

[junker-town]

Serie A 2017-18 season: Team previews, summer transfers, predictions and more

The landscape is shifting in Serie A, and our blog managers have a lot to say about it.

The Serie A season is finally set to begin this weekend, and it’s been a tumultuous summer in Italy. You’ll never find a more dramatic place in sports than you will in the brand of calcio played in Italy, and given the whirlwind of transfer activity in the league this season, it’s looking like a lot of change is in the wind.

Juventus haven’t made the same kind of splashes they did over the last few years, and if anything may have gotten weaker, especially with keystone defender Leonardo Bonucci jumping ship to AC Milan. Milan, meanwhile, have made several massive signings this summer, and look like they’re going to challenge for the title for the first time in years. Inter Milan have made sweeping changes, AS Roma have had a difficult summer, and Napoli are banking on the same exciting squad from last year bringing them better fortune this season.

After years of Juventus domination in Italy, it’s looking like the field in Serie A could be wide-open this season. To that end, we gathered the managers of our Serie A sites in SB Nation — Napoli’s The Siren’s Song, Juventus’ Black & White & Read All Over, the AC Milan Offside, Roma’s Chiesa di Totti, Inter’s Serpents of Madonnina, and Fiorentina’s Viola Nation. They sat down and answered a few key questions of the season to come, giving their views on a chaotic summer and difficult-to-predict Serie A campaign.

The landscape of Serie A has changed very little over the last few years, but it looks like we're seeing a big shift this summer.

Teams like AC Milan and Inter Milan have made significant changes this season, while teams like Juventus and Napoli have done little. Are we seeing the first signs of a changing of guard at the top of Serie A?

Conor Dowley, The Siren’s Song: There’s a good chance of it. It’s going to take awhile for Milan and Inter to gel, but once they do both teams look like they have the potential to be scary. I question the quality of Milan’s manager and Inter’s balance, but if they can answer those questions the field could be pretty wide-open this season, especially with Juventus, Napoli, and Roma not exactly enjoying impressive summers.

Danny Penza, Black & White & Read All Over: The Milan clubs are “to be determined” for me, because who knows how long it will take for them to gel as a team. We've seen Inter make plenty of big-money moves over the last five or so years and it's ended up ... not so great. Milan have seemingly taken things to another this summer, basically signing what seems like a brand new starting XI and paying quite a pretty penny to do so.

Juventus have made moves, signing a pair of quality wingers in Douglas Costa and Federico Bernardeschi. How long it takes Max Allegri to use them both in the starting lineup remains to be seen. But even with the loss of Leonardo Bonucci, it's not like Juve have sat on their hands and done nothing to try and improve their roster. (And based on the transfer rumors that have been there pretty much all summer, keeping a hold of Alex Sandro and Paulo Dybala is a victory in of itself right there.)

James Rushton, AC Milan Offside: Maybe not so much of a changing of the guard as a return to order with a slight difference with a bit of spice. We might certainly see a lot more competitive action at the top with a number of teams trying to stake their claim not only for the European Places, but also for the title. It will interesting, that's for sure.

Bren, Chiesa di Totti: I certainly hope so. Juve's run, as impressive as it might be, is bad for the overall health of the league, both in terms of perception and reality. Having the same results year after year sort of damages the credibility of Serie A as a vibrant and competitive league.

Having said that, I think Juventus are still the favorites this year, but there's no denying that both Milan sides are genuine threats for Italy's European places. Juventus, Napoli and Roma were well stocked last season so they didn't have to do as much work in the open market as AC Milan, but now that the Rossoneri have reloaded and Inter have a decent coach, Italy now has five sides who should make noise in Europe, hopefully boosting the profile of the league in the process.

Matt Clark, Serpents of Madonnina: I'm not sure that big change will yield big results. There are a lot of factors that go into the change. Inter, for example, was a bit of a disaster after last year and brought in Luciano Spalletti to guide the ship. That was really the biggest change. AC Milan has garnered the headlines mainly because of the money they have spent. I don't know that it equals to instantaneous league glory. Juventus and Napoli haven't changed much because they really didn't have to. So, I don't know if changes made mean a wholesale change atop Serie A.

Tito Kohout, Viola Nation: Man, if you'd asked this question, like, a week ago, I'd have said that Fiorentina had dropped well into the bottom half of the table. Recent events, though, have the team and the tifosi trending upward in a big way. That said, we're not getting too carried away. It takes time for a new coach and seven new starters to translate to consistency, especially after a rocky preseason.

The Viola are certainly behind Juventus, the Milan clubs, Roma, Napoli, and Lazio, while Sampdoria and Torino are around the same level. With the distraction of European competition, though, Atalanta will probably regress. I guess this is my long-winded way of saying that a top-eight finish that includes some fun football and impressive showings from the various youngsters who'll have major roles in this team would have to be a success.

Has your club done enough to secure their place in the league and improve themselves this summer?

Conor: At this point I can only give Napoli an “incomplete” on their summer. Their incoming transfers were always going to be dictated by whether or not they could clear some deadweight from their wage bill and make the Champions League group stage, and as of opening weekend they’ve done neither. They’re in good shape to make the group stage, but that’s not a guarantee yet, so the checkbook hasn’t really opened yet because of it. Right now, they’ve basically got the same squad that saw them finish third a year ago — and while that team is very good and probably better than that standing, it’s legitimate to ask if they’re good enough to compete for the title in this season’s Serie A.

Danny: Has Juventus improved the quality of who Max Allegri has to choose from on the wings? Yes. Has Juventus improved the quality of who Max Allegri has to choose from in the center of the midfield? Well, no, not really. Daniele Rugani could very well offset the loss of Leonardo Bonucci is he is given an extended run out of games. But Juventus' center midfield is basically the same group of very good but not great players they had last season — and that's even throwing in the potential addition of Blaise Matuidi.

James: Certainly. For Milan, I'm not sure what more they could have done to improve. Key areas across the pitch have been consulted and players have been bought into not only strengthen weaker areas, but also bolster strong areas.

Photo by Marco Luzzani/Getty Images

Bren: Ha! Granted Roma's cupboards weren't exactly bare to begin with, but they haven't effectively replaced Antonio Rudiger or Mohamed Salah in either form or function, so I'm afraid as things stand now they're going to get lapped by Napoli at the very least, while Milan could present a credible threat to the top three if all their new signings click in relatively short order.

Matt: I think Inter's first real change was bringing in Spalletti. I think he is the manager they need at this time. There haven't been any real splash signings during the summer transfer, but adding Borja Valero, Matias Vecino, Dalbert and Milan Skriniar are definite improvements that were needed.

Tito: What with the recent flurry of activity, it seems like most of the holes are plugged now. While a top-notch rightback or winger would be great, I doubt either will materialize, and I'm okay with that. This is a rebuilding year in Florence, and that means giving minutes to untested youngsters like Ianis Hagi, Rafik Zekhnini, and Nikola Milenkovic. There will definitely be some growing pains, and we're expecting that, but sitting back and seeing what exactly the club has on its hands, and whether it's good enough to build around for the next several seasons.

What do you most fear for the upcoming Serie A season?

Conor: One or both Milan teams surging while Napoli suffer doldrums. Don’t get me wrong, the Milan clubs being good is great for Serie A in a business sense, but if they get rolling and Napoli can’t keep up because of one of their almost-traditional spells of struggling mediocrity that sees them slip down the table, it could make for a tough, tough season to catch back up.

Danny: Honestly, my biggest fear is that Max Allegri will rely on Medhi Benatia rather than letting Daniele Rugani loose in the starting lineup. Benatia has struggled ever since he put on a Juventus jersey for the first time and hasn't looked any better during the preseason. Rugani, on the other hand, has battled injuries but has done very well whenever he's gotten consistent playing time. Rugani — and Mattia Caldara, too — is certainly the future of Juve's defense. But knowing what's happened this summer, that future may also be the present.

James: A collapse. Look, when you bring in this many players, not much can worry you except one thing - will these players gel? If they don't, we may panic and that only leads to silly decisions that scupper seasons.

Bren: Hmm, the amount of running tracks surrounding their collective grounds? In a more immediate and pressing sense, Napoli's offense should be able to bowl over virtually anyone. With a bit of luck and some good health, they could end Juventus' run of dominance. There may not be a better trio of attacking talent in the game than Lorenzo Insigne, Dries Mertens and Marek Hamisk--you know, now that Neymar, Messi and Suarez have been broken apart.

Matt: I fear the unknown. I think there is a Leicester City situation brewing in the league. There is going to be a team none of us really expect to be in the top tier be in the top tier. Maybe that's not a fear, but definitely something to watch for.

Tito: Definitely shouldn't ditch the veteran team leaders for nothing, because losing, say, Borja Valero and Gonzalo Rodriguez would cripple this team and its fans. Oh. Wait. No, that happened already.

Anyways, the club needs to avoid pissing off anyone else. The Della Valle family — who own ACF Fiorentina — have earned themselves a reputation for pettiness after a number of acrimonious player moves (e.g., the lawsuit against Mohamed Salah), and that reputation, combined with a refusal to pay top wages, has turned Florence into a rather undesirable piazza for a lot of young players, who instead end up at teams like Sampdoria or Atalanta (e.g., Dennis Praet, who nearly moved to Fiorentina before a public falling out with management via his dad pushed him to Sampdoria). The blatant disregard for any player over 25 is a good start to convince young players that a move is in their best interests, but the Della Valles need to prove that they're not as vindictive as they've seemed over the past half decade. Letting Primavera goalkeeper Giacomo Satalino leave for Sassuolo in search of more playing time was a good start, but a few more gracious actions wouldn't be ignored.

With spending increasing rapidly across Europe, do the continued financial struggles of clubs like Fiorentina concern you for the near-term future of Italian football?

Conor: Yes. Very much so. Especially since Napoli have never really been able to swing with the big boys financially — they’re a wonderfully talented and exciting and well-run team, but they don’t seem to be able to draw major financial sponsorships like Juventus or the Milans or Roma or any other big club in Europe. Napoli are generally run better than Fiorentina — or worse, than Parma was a few years ago — but it could be tough for them to stay where they are long-term unless they can consistently get that Champions League money.

Photo by Paolo Bruno/Getty Images

Danny: There's always going to be concerns about finances in Italy because Serie A is not even close to being as marketed as the other leagues. The EPL is getting huge money from their broadcast rights. Serie A? Not nearly as much.

James: I think we all have to worry. Milan's spending is one thing, but the relative spend of the 'also-rans' across Europe is rising. Could this bubble burst? Maybe. Let's just hope the head honchos of Italian football are smart enough to plan for that increasingly likely occasion.

Bren: The financial struggles of all Italian clubs, bar Juventus, should concern any Serie A fan. Milan is only relevant again due to an injection of €200 + million, so it's not as if this is the end result of a grassroots rebuild. The decreased exposure of Italian football, especially compared to their English and Spanish counterparts, has taken a toll on the league's bottom line in terms of advertising and broadcast revenue, which, quite naturally, impacts the product on the pitch. I don't know that we can expect top down fiscal solvency, but having a healthy Fiorentina to join the big five would go a long way to ensuring Serie A thrives.

Matt: The league is going to have to find ways to bring in new revenue for teams. This likely means a new television deal. The Premier League had a cash infusion because of the deal with NBC to bring games to the U.S. Now, it is the richest league in the world. Serie A is going to start negotiating in the immediate future and there are several players coming to sit at that table. That would be an equitable way to bring cash to every club in the league.

Tito: Fiorentina’s financial struggles aren’t entirely what they’re made out to be, with the Viola actually proving to be quite aggressive with all the money they’ve gotten from sales this season. Their net spend is small, but they’ve gathered a lot of interesting young talent who should (keyword, should!) make this team a lot better. That said, Fiorentina definitely can’t spend with the big boys, even just relevant to Serie A, and that’s going to be a problem with sleeping giants like the Milans seeming to finally wake up.

If you had to predict one big, shocking turn of events this season in Serie A, what would it be?

Conor: I think an Italian team is going to win a European trophy this season. But that’s not strictly in Serie A, so... I think there’s a very real chance that one or more of Udinese, Sassuolo, or Sampdoria finish in the top six this season thanks to a couple of fortunate hot streaks for them and unexpected long-term struggles from the likes of Atalanta, Lazio, Roma, Inter, or — hopefully not -- Napoli.

Photo by Emilio Andreoli/Getty Images

Danny: Even with all of their summer spending, Milan will have to use a late-season push to guarantee top 4 finish this season. Who knows, maybe it's another year in the Europa League. (Which, for Leonardo Bonucci, will be somewhat poetic justice.)

James: Shocking? I think Milan might be in a position to challenge for a title. Only if everything goes right though! After seasons of poor form, that'd be a shock to the system for me if they win it.

Bren: Dang, that's a tough question. I think, or at least I hope, the non-Juventus sides can do some damage in the Champions League. Napoli and Roma certainly have the depth to at least advance out of the group stages, but taking that a step further would certainly be beneficial for the long-term health and popularity of the league.

Matt: If there was a shocking turn of events, I would say two of the promoted teams will finish mid-table this season. Don't ask me which two, but I can see two.

Tito: How about we go against the grain a bit? Neither Milan team finishes in the Champions League places — and one of them doesn’t even finish in a European place.

What are you most looking forward to this season?

Conor: Watching Napoli’s attack take another step forward. At their best, they had arguably the most exciting attack in Europe last season — and it never quite seemed like they ever quite reached their peak of capability. If they can find that extra gear, it could be terrifyingly fun to watch Marek Hamsik, Dries Mertens, Lorenzo Insigne, and Jose Callejon do their thing this season.

Danny: Another year of Paulo Dybala and Gonzalo Higuain playing alongside one another. How Federico Bernardeschi finds his way at Italy's biggest club.

And to make it not all about Juventus, how fast it truly does take all of Milan's new signings to integrate into that squad, how many will boom and how many will be meh or basically bust. They've spent a whooooooooole lot of money and that usually means there isn't necessarily a lot of patience that comes along with so many euros being thrown around.

James: Football! Italian Football is something else. We want drama, shocks, goals and thrills. With more teams aiming for the top spot, it should be a thrilling season. Forza Milan!

Bren: I think it has to be the return to prominence of the Milan sides. While they won't immediately return to their former glory, their resurgence should ensure a legitimate race for the Scudetto in the years to come. Having as many as five teams battling for the championship year in and year is something only the Premiership can rival. In terms of individual talents, I look forward to the likes of Insigne, Hamsik, Paulo Dybala and Radja Nainggolan cementing their place among the games best and brightest.

Matt: I am looking forward to the start of the season. This will be my first full season in the Serpents of Madonnina community [ed. note: Matt took over the site after the end of last season, so wish him a warm welcome if you haven’t already!] and I am pretty excited about the potential for interaction and being able to write about the Nerazzurri for a solid fan base.

Tito: Seeing Fiorentina prove the doubters wrong and put on a much more impressive season than people are thinking they will.

[houstonlocalus-blog]

Other Side: The Best of The Week

August Alsina, Photo: Live Nation

  With the weather reaching new levels of intensity around this city, I don’t think we can say that summer isn’t in full swing anymore. Of course, with the entertainment options available to you this week, you could apply that theory as well. Sets from August Alsina, Playboi Carti, and Caddywhompus will all fall between locals and legends like James Taylor and Blue Oyster Cult, as well as Vans Warped Tour. Houston, here’s how to navigate the next seven days.

  Wednesday you can get going over at Satellite Bar when the electro-pop goodness of Houston’s Camera Cult headlines a set. These guys make ultra-catchy tunes that are hard to deny and even harder not to get down to. In fact, their latest singles, “Camaro” and “Between The Scenes,” should get your feet moving. The synthpop of Nashville’s Hardcastle will be on as direct support, while the ambient pop of Houston’s Whale Bones will open the all-ages show, with doors at 7 pm and tickets between $8 and $12.

  On Wednesday, Raven Tower will host the singer songwriter goodness of Adam Bricks on the back patio. Bricks has been slugging it out for a good while now, and his live shows can be anything from sweet and endearing to raucous and energetic. Not to mention, last year’s Relations is one of the best records you might not have heard of.  The all-ages show gets going around 7:30 and it’s free.

  POIZON, Photo: Mark Lochridge

  Over at Walter’s you can get down with the punk rock of Houston’s POIZON for their album release party. While you may not care that this band has a member of the band Fatal Flying Guilloteens in it, that shouldn’t matter, as their debut album, Church Is Poizon, is as golden as their enigmatic live shows. Austin noise rockers Xetas will be on as direct support, while Criminal Itch will get the all-ages show started. Doors open at 8 pm and there’s a $10 cover.

  On Thursday you might find yourself wanting to just chill with great tunes, and if you do, then you should head to MKT Bar to catch John Egan.  Possibly one of the more underrated musicians in Houston, Egan is a joy to catch perform, and his latest release, Magnolia City, is great from start to finish, with bluesy undertones like no one else. The all-ages show gets going around 7 pm and it’s free.

  Jealous Creatures, Photo: Scott Holleman

  At Rockefeller’s the anthemic indie rock of Austin’s The Rocketboys will swing by to perform. Kind of like if Coldplay were from the U.S., this 3-piece band’s latest release, Certain Circles, is a mix of rock and beauty. The indie folk meets southern gospel of The Whistles and the Bells will be on hand as direct support, while Houston’s Jealous Creatures will get the all-ages show started, with doors at 7 pm and tickets between $10 and $12.

  Notsuoh will help you get weird when Houston’s Black Lodge headlines the Main Street mainstay. Black Lodge sounds a little chaotic, but that’s the point, and the duo’s self-titled debut from 2014, Black Lodge, still holds up. The experimental psych of NOLA’s Druidian Pink will be on with their trippy sounds as direct support, while Austin’s Pony Kicks will get the free 21 & up show started with doors at 8 pm.

  Over at Walter’s you can catch the entertaining and fun sounds of New Orleans duo Caddywhompus. These two have been getting more and more popular with each release, and their live shows have gotten bigger and bigger. Their latest album, Odd Hours, from this year, is their best to date. Houston’s Young Mammals will bring their jangly indie rock on as direct support and openers for the all-ages show with doors at 8 pm and a $10 cover.

  Playboi Carti, Photo: Paradigm

  Over in the ballroom at Warehouse Live, the popular hip hop of Atlanta’s Playboi Carti will take place. He’s here in support of his most recent drop, Playboi Carti, from this year. If you were lucky enough to grab tickets, then you should be in for a treat. Atlanta’s young nudy will be on hand as direct support, while Gunna will get the all-ages show that has since sold out started, with doors at 8:30 pm.

  On Friday the up and coming sounds of El Paso’s Khalid will take center stage over at Revention Music Center. This guy might be young, but don’t let that fool you as his soulful vocals alone are worth checking out. He’s literally popping off everywhere he performs, and his recently dropped debut, American Teen, is amazing. Houston’s DJ Baby Roo will bring his DJ prowess on for the all-ages show, with doors at 6 pm and tickets between $110 and $130.

  Upstairs at White Oak Music Hall, the Texas psych of Bubble Puppy will be on hand. These guys were unfortunately overshadowed by 13th Floor Elevators when they began, but that doesn’t mean that they ever lost their lustre. While their track “Hot Smoke And Sassafras” became universally adored, their records easily still stand the test of time. There’s no word of support or opener, but that could change on the all-ages show with doors at 7 pm and tickets for $12.

  Insomnia Gallery will have the Black Girl Magic art show presented with Jaz Henry. The show will feature artists that you may not know exist, with the likes of Chasity Porter, Lex Simone, Ryan Francisco and many, many more showing work. Alongside art, there promises to be vendors as well as music and drinks. The all-ages event gets going around 7 pm and it’s free to attend.

  Giant Kitty, Photo: Daniel Jackson

  Walter’s will have a show to benefit the Lilith Fund for reproductive rights featuring a headlining set from Houston’s Giant Kitty. The 4-piece punk band will bring energetic songs from their debut, This Stupid Stuff, as well as tracks from their upcoming sophomore release due out sometime this year. The intense hardcore of LACE will be on as direct support, while the high-energy punk of Ruiners will go on prior. Houston’s Clare will open the all-ages show, with doors at 8 pm and tickets for $10.

  Continental Club will keep the longest rockabilly weekender in Texas going with the 17th installment of Rock Baby Rock It. The two-day soiree has Houston’s Los Skarnales on as headliners for the first night. I’d guess you’d have caught the energy heavy performances from these guys over the years, but you may not have in a while. And if you haven’t, then you should definitely check this set out. Their more recent release, Another Day, Another Borrachera, has them at the top of their game. Legendary 60s rock and rollers, Mexico’s Los Johnny Jets, will be on as well, and should bring hits like ��Es Lupe” and “El Ultimo Beso” to life. Tomcat Y Los Rock N Roll Combo will also be on hand for the 21 & up show that gets going around 9 pm with a $20 cover.

  On Saturday you can get your art fix over at Walter’s for the Chronicles of a Collective art show. Art from the likes of Lisa Ramirez, Christopher Oddo, Elizabeth Cook and more will be on view. Each piece will include a story about the art from the artists themselves, and it should make for an intriguing and very different type of art show. The all-ages event gets going with doors at 6 pm and it’s Free to attend.

  Night two of Rock Baby Rock It will commence at Continental Club and the adjoining spaces with a headlining performance from Rudy T Gonzales and The King Pelican. The San Antonio doo-wop singer is back with a new band, and he should swoon all who catch him. The London-born and Austin-transplanted rockabilly of Rockin’ Lloyd Tripp will also be on hand, while the Left Eye Jumpers will go on prior. The energetic sounds of The Octanes will also be on the bill, as will Colton Turner and Luxurious Panthers. The 21 & up show has doors at 6 pm and a $25 cover.

  Blue Oyster Cult, Photo: TKO

  The downstairs of White Oak Music Hall will host the legendary sounds of Blue Oyster Cult, now in their 45th year. And don’t worry, there will be plenty of cowbell in this performance as the group celebrates yet another decade of performing. Hits like “(Don’t Fear) The Reaper,” “Burnin’ For You,” and “Godzilla” will get played alongside other favorites from the band. The intergalactic stoner rock of Dallas’ Mothership will get the all-ages show started, with doors at 7 pm and tickets between $35 and $37.

  Additionally on Saturday, House of Blues will host the ever-popular sounds of August Alsina. Alsina may have been born in Louisiana, but his Houston upbringing and turbulent past have helped pave the way for a pretty amazing career. His latest release, This Thing Called Life, still holds up, and there are rumors of new tracks coming sooner than later. There’s no word of support or openers, but that may change for the all-ages show with doors at 7 pm and tickets between $29.50 and $55.

  Unsane, Photo: Hexagram Booking

  Possibly one of the more intense bands to come from the eighties, New York’s Unsane will unleash their noise rock intensity over at The Secret Group. I can’t stress enough how solid these guys are in a live setting, and after lineup changes, members beaten in Europe, and being many times knocked down, they’re bringing their intriguing sound back. Their last release, 2012’s Wreck, sounds as good today as it did when it was released, while their 1998 album, Occupational Hazard, is still one of my favorites of all time. The hardcore metallic noise of New York’s Fashion Week will be on as direct support and openers for the all-ages show with doors at 8 pm and tickets for $15.

  Satellite Bar will host the hip hop of NYC’s Aaron Cohen over to drop rhymes. Cohen has made quite the name for himself with his 2013 release Potential Fans, while last year’s Off The Ground cemented him as a strong lyricist. Houston’s T2 the Ghetto Hippie will bring his latest, Double Cups & Taco Trucks, to life as direct support, and iLL Faded will get things started as only he can. The all-ages show is free for adults or $8 for the kids, with doors at 8 pm.

  War On Women, Photo: Bridge9 Records

  On Sunday the Vans Warped Tour will make its way to NRG Park.  This year, the long-running festival has a pretty stacked lineup that includes War On Women, Candiria, CKY, GWAR, T.S.O.L. and many many many more. There’s more information here for the all-ages event that gets going with gates at 11 am and tickets between $41.50and $51.50, while parking is $15.

  Insomnia Gallery will host the latest edition of the You Need Pics event, Hey Buddy, You Need Pics. Because this is my event, it’s best to explain that if you’re in a band, or you’re a comic, or pretty much any form of entertainer, then having fresh pictures goes a long way. All of the door money goes to the photographers, and you can get all the pics you want for $5 per person. There will be multiple professional band photographers on hand; I’ll be serving Topo, Lone Star, and Topo Cocktails at the cash bar, and there’s music from DJ Playlist. The all-ages event starts at noon and runs until 4 pm with a measly $5 cover.

  Out in Clear Lake, The Alarm will bring their acoustic rock to all who attend at Scout Bar. While these guys have been around since the early eighties and were often compared to bands like U2, they had their own sound and charted several large singles and albums with ease. They’re still fronted by their original singer, and I’m sure you’ll hear their hits like “The Stand,” and “Sixty Eight Guns.”  There’s no word of openers or support, but that could change for the all-ages show with doors at 7 pm and tickets between $16 and $20.

  James Taylor, Photo: Creative Artists Agency

  On Tuesday, the legendary folk sounds of James Taylor will make their way over to Toyota Center. The legendary singer will perform all of your favorites like “Fire and Rain,” “Carolina In My Mind,” “You’ve Got A Friend,” and more with his all-star band, alongside songs that span his career, including those from 2015’s Before This World. The slinging-guitar-goodness of Bonnie Raitt will be on hand as opener and direct support for the all-ages show with doors at 6 pm and tickets between $66 and $100.

  Over at Walter’s, Austin’s Sailor Poon will bring their punk-fueled garage sound back to town. While there are plenty of bands with punk leanings, the silly and often loud sounds of this band are hard to ignore, and their latest, Yeast Pigeon, is pretty solid.  The cop-themed punk energy of The Cops will be on as direct support, while the fuzzy punk of Houston’s ImposterBoys will open the all-ages show with doors at 8 pm and a $7 cover.

  That’s about all that’s happening this week. No matter what you decide to do, don’t forget that a safe ride home is just an app away.

  Other Side: The Best of The Week this is a repost

[madpicks]

New Post has been published on http://www.madpicks.com/sports/soccer/serie-2017-18-season-team-previews-summer-transfers-predictions-and-more/

Serie A 2017-18 season: Team previews, summer transfers, predictions, and more

The Serie A season is finally set to begin this weekend, and it’s been a tumultuous summer in Italy. You’ll never find a more dramatic place in sports than you will in the brand of calcio played in Italy, and given the whirlwind of transfer activity in the league this season, it’s looking like a lot of change is in the wind.

Juventus haven’t made the same kind of splashes they did over the last few years, and if anything may have gotten weaker, especially with keystone defender Leonardo Bonucci jumping ship to AC Milan. Milan, meanwhile, have made several massive signings this summer and look like they’re going to challenge for the title for the first time in years. Inter Milan have made sweeping changes, AS Roma have had a difficult summer, and Napoli are banking on the same exciting squad from last year bringing them better fortune this season.

After years of Juventus domination in Italy, it’s looking like the field in Serie A could be wide open this season. To that end, we gathered the managers of our Serie A sites in SB Nation: Napoli’s The Siren’s Song, Juventus’ Black & White & Read All Over, the AC Milan Offside, Roma’s Chiesa di Totti, Inter’s Serpents of Madonnina, and Fiorentina’s Viola Nation. They sat down and answered a few key questions about the season to come, giving their views on a chaotic summer and difficult-to-predict Serie A campaign.

The landscape of Serie A has changed very little over the last few years, but it looks like we’re seeing a big shift this summer.

Teams like AC Milan and Inter Milan have made significant changes this season, while teams like Juventus and Napoli have done little. Are we seeing the first signs of a changing of the guard at the top of Serie A?

Conor Dowley, The Siren’s Song: There’s a good chance of it. It’s going to take a while for Milan and Inter to jell, but once they do both teams look like they have the potential to be scary. I question the quality of Milan’s manager and Inter’s balance, but if they can answer those questions, the field could be pretty wide open this season, especially with Juventus, Napoli, and Roma not exactly enjoying impressive summers.

Danny Penza, Black & White & Read All Over: The Milan clubs are “to be determined” for me, because who knows how long it will take for them to jell as a team. We’ve seen Inter make plenty of big-money moves over the last five or so years and it’s ended up … not so great. Milan have seemingly taken things to another level this summer, basically signing what seems like a brand new starting XI and paying quite a pretty penny to do so.

Juventus have made moves, signing a pair of quality wingers in Douglas Costa and Federico Bernardeschi. How long it takes Max Allegri to use them both in the starting lineup remains to be seen. But even with the loss of Leonardo Bonucci, it’s not like Juve have sat on their hands and done nothing to try and improve their roster. (And based on the transfer rumors that have been there pretty much all summer, keeping a hold of Alex Sandro and Paulo Dybala is a victory in of itself right there.)

James Rushton, AC Milan Offside: Maybe not so much of a changing of the guard as a return to order with a slight difference with a bit of spice. We might certainly see a lot more competitive action at the top with a number of teams trying to stake their claim not only for the European Places, but also for the title. It will interesting, that’s for sure.

Bren, Chiesa di Totti: I certainly hope so. Juve’s run, as impressive as it might be, is bad for the overall health of the league, both in terms of perception and reality. Having the same results year after year sort of damages the credibility of Serie A as a vibrant and competitive league.

Having said that, I think Juventus are still the favorites this year, but there’s no denying that both Milan sides are genuine threats for Italy’s European places. Juventus, Napoli, and Roma were well-stocked last season, so they didn’t have to do as much work in the open market as AC Milan. But now that the Rossoneri have reloaded and Inter have a decent coach, Italy now has five sides that should make noise in Europe, hopefully boosting the profile of the league in the process.

Matt Clark, Serpents of Madonnina: I’m not sure that big change will yield big results. There are a lot of factors that go into the change. Inter, for example, were a bit of a disaster after last year and brought in Luciano Spalletti to guide the ship. That was really the biggest change. AC Milan have garnered the headlines mainly because of the money they have spent. I don’t know that it equals to instantaneous league glory. Juventus and Napoli haven’t changed much because they really didn’t have to. So I don’t know if changes made mean a wholesale change atop Serie A.

Tito Kohout, Viola Nation: Man, if you’d asked this question, like, a week ago, I’d have said that Fiorentina had dropped well into the bottom half of the table. Recent events, though, have the team and the tifosi trending upward in a big way. That said, we’re not getting too carried away. It takes time for a new coach and seven new starters to translate to consistency, especially after a rocky preseason.

The Viola are certainly behind Juventus, the Milan clubs, Roma, Napoli, and Lazio, while Sampdoria and Torino are around the same level. With the distraction of European competition, though, Atalanta will probably regress. I guess this is my long-winded way of saying that a top-eight finish that includes some fun football and impressive showings from the various youngsters who’ll have major roles in this team would have to be a success.

Has your club done enough to secure their place in the league and improve themselves this summer?

Conor: At this point, I can only give Napoli an “incomplete” on their summer. Their incoming transfers were always going to be dictated by whether or not they could clear some deadweight from their wage bill and make the Champions League group stage, and as of opening weekend they’ve done neither. They’re in good shape to make the group stage, but that’s not a guarantee yet, so the checkbook hasn’t really opened yet because of it. Right now, they’ve basically got the same squad that saw them finish third a year ago — and while that team is very good and probably better than that standing, it’s legitimate to ask if they’re good enough to compete for the title in this season’s Serie A.

Danny: Has Juventus improved the quality of who Max Allegri has to choose from on the wings? Yes. Has Juventus improved the quality of who Max Allegri has to choose from in the center of the midfield? Well, no, not really. Daniele Rugani could very well offset the loss of Leonardo Bonucci if he is given an extended run out of games. But Juventus’ center midfield is basically the same group of very good but not great players they had last season — and that’s even throwing in the potential addition of Blaise Matuidi.

James: Certainly. For Milan, I’m not sure what more they could have done to improve. Key areas across the pitch have been consulted and players have been brought into not only strengthen weaker areas, but also bolster strong areas.

Photo by Marco Luzzani/Getty Images

Bren: Ha! Granted Roma’s cupboards weren’t exactly bare to begin with, but they haven’t effectively replaced Antonio Rudiger or Mohamed Salah in either form or function. So I’m afraid as things stand now, they’re going to get lapped by Napoli at the very least, while Milan could present a credible threat to the top three if all their new signings click in relatively short order.

Matt: I think Inter’s first real change was bringing in Spalletti. I think he is the manager they need at this time. There haven’t been any real splash signings during the summer transfer, but adding Borja Valero, Matias Vecino, Dalbert, and Milan Skriniar are definite improvements that were needed.

Tito: What with the recent flurry of activity, it seems like most of the holes are plugged now. While a top-notch right-back or winger would be great, I doubt either will materialize, and I’m OK with that. This is a rebuilding year in Florence, and that means giving minutes to untested youngsters like Ianis Hagi, Rafik Zekhnini, and Nikola Milenkovic. There will definitely be some growing pains, and we’re expecting that, but sitting back and seeing what exactly the club has on its hands, and whether it’s good enough to build around for the next several seasons.

What do you most fear for the upcoming Serie A season?

Conor: One or both Milan teams surging while Napoli suffer doldrums. Don’t get me wrong, the Milan clubs being good is great for Serie A in a business sense, but if they get rolling and Napoli can’t keep up because of one of their almost-traditional spells of struggling mediocrity that sees them slip down the table, it could make for a tough, tough season to catch back up.

Danny: Honestly, my biggest fear is that Max Allegri will rely on Medhi Benatia rather than letting Daniele Rugani loose in the starting lineup. Benatia has struggled ever since he put on a Juventus jersey for the first time and hasn’t looked any better during the preseason. Rugani, on the other hand, has battled injuries but has done very well whenever he’s gotten consistent playing time. Rugani — and Mattia Caldara, too — is certainly the future of Juve’s defense. But knowing what’s happened this summer, that future may also be the present.

James: A collapse. Look, when you bring in this many players, not much can worry you except one thing — will these players jell? If they don’t, we may panic and that only leads to silly decisions that scupper seasons.

Bren: Hmm, the amount of running tracks surrounding their collective grounds? In a more immediate and pressing sense, Napoli’s offense should be able to bowl over virtually anyone. With a bit of luck and some good health, they could end Juventus’ run of dominance. There may not be a better trio of attacking talent in the game than Lorenzo Insigne, Dries Mertens and Marek Hamisk — you know, now that Neymar, Messi and Suarez have been broken apart.

Matt: I fear the unknown. I think there is a Leicester City situation brewing in the league. There is going to be a team none of us really expect to be in the top tier be in the top tier. Maybe that’s not a fear but definitely something to watch for.

Tito: Definitely shouldn’t ditch the veteran team leaders for nothing, because losing, say, Borja Valero and Gonzalo Rodriguez would cripple this team and its fans. Oh. Wait. No, that happened already.

Anyway, the club needs to avoid pissing off anyone else. The Della Valle family — who own ACF Fiorentina — have earned themselves a reputation for pettiness after a number of acrimonious player moves (e.g., the lawsuit against Mohamed Salah), and that reputation, combined with a refusal to pay top wages, has turned Florence into a rather undesirable piazza for a lot of young players, who instead end up at teams like Sampdoria or Atalanta (e.g., Dennis Praet, who nearly moved to Fiorentina before a public falling-out with management via his dad pushed him to Sampdoria). The blatant disregard for any player over 25 is a good start to convince young players that a move is in their best interests, but the Della Valles need to prove that they’re not as vindictive as they’ve seemed over the past half decade. Letting Primavera goalkeeper Giacomo Satalino leave for Sassuolo in search of more playing time was a good start, but a few more gracious actions wouldn’t be ignored.

With spending increasing rapidly across Europe, do the continued financial struggles of clubs like Fiorentina concern you for the near-term future of Italian football?

Conor: Yes. Very much so. Especially since Napoli have never really been able to swing with the big boys financially — they’re a wonderfully talented and exciting and well-run team, but they don’t seem to be able to draw major financial sponsorships like Juventus or the Milans or Roma or any other big club in Europe. Napoli are generally run better than Fiorentina — or worse, than Parma was a few years ago — but it could be tough for them to stay where they are long term unless they can consistently get that Champions League money.

Photo by Paolo Bruno/Getty Images

Danny: There’s always going to be concerns about finances in Italy because Serie A is not even close to being as marketed as the other leagues. The EPL is getting huge money from their broadcast rights. Serie A? Not nearly as much.

James: I think we all have to worry. Milan’s spending is one thing, but the relative spend of the ‘also-rans’ across Europe is rising. Could this bubble burst? Maybe. Let’s just hope the head honchos of Italian football are smart enough to plan for that increasingly likely occasion.

Bren: The financial struggles of all Italian clubs, bar Juventus, should concern any Serie A fan. Milan is only relevant again due to an injection of €200-plus million, so it’s not as if this is the end result of a grassroots rebuild. The decreased exposure of Italian football, especially compared to its English and Spanish counterparts, has taken a toll on the league’s bottom line in terms of advertising and broadcast revenue, which, quite naturally, impacts the product on the pitch. I don’t know that we can expect top-down fiscal solvency, but having a healthy Fiorentina to join the big five would go a long way to ensuring Serie A thrives.

Matt: The league is going to have to find ways to bring in new revenue for teams. This likely means a new television deal. The Premier League had a cash infusion because of the deal with NBC to bring games to the U.S. Now it is the richest league in the world. Serie A is going to start negotiating in the immediate future, and there are several players coming to sit at that table. That would be an equitable way to bring cash to every club in the league.

Tito: Fiorentina’s financial struggles aren’t entirely what they’re made out to be, with the Viola actually proving to be quite aggressive with all the money they’ve gotten from sales this season. Their net spend is small, but they’ve gathered a lot of interesting young talent who should (keyword, should!) make this team a lot better. That said, Fiorentina definitely can’t spend with the big boys, even just relevant to Serie A, and that’s going to be a problem with sleeping giants like the Milans seeming to finally wake up.

If you had to predict one big, shocking turn of events this season in Serie A, what would it be?

Conor: I think an Italian team is going to win a European trophy this season. But that’s not strictly in Serie A, so…I think there’s a very real chance that one or more of Udinese, Sassuolo, or Sampdoria finish in the top six this season thanks to a couple of fortunate hot streaks for them and unexpected long-term struggles from the likes of Atalanta, Lazio, Roma, Inter, or — hopefully not — Napoli.

Photo by Emilio Andreoli/Getty Images

Danny: Even with all of their summer spending, Milan will have to use a late-season push to guarantee a top-four finish this season. Who knows? Maybe it’s another year in the Europa League. (Which, for Leonardo Bonucci, will be somewhat poetic justice.)

James: Shocking? I think Milan might be in a position to challenge for a title. Only if everything goes right though! After seasons of poor form, that’d be a shock to the system for me if they win it.

Bren: Dang, that’s a tough question. I think, or at least I hope, the non-Juventus sides can do some damage in the Champions League. Napoli and Roma certainly have the depth to at least advance out of the group stages, but taking that a step further would certainly be beneficial for the long-term health and popularity of the league.

Matt: If there was a shocking turn of events, I would say two of the promoted teams will finish mid-table this season. Don’t ask me which two, but I can see two.

Tito: How about we go against the grain a bit? Neither Milan team finishes in the Champions League places — and one of them doesn’t even finish in a European place.

What are you most looking forward to this season?

Conor: Watching Napoli’s attack take another step forward. At their best, they had arguably the most exciting attack in Europe last season — and it never quite seemed like they ever quite reached their peak of capability. If they can find that extra gear, it could be terrifyingly fun to watch Marek Hamsik, Dries Mertens, Lorenzo Insigne, and Jose Callejon do their thing this season.

Danny: Another year of Paulo Dybala and Gonzalo Higuain playing alongside one another. How Federico Bernardeschi finds his way at Italy’s biggest club.

And to make it not all about Juventus, how fast it truly does take all of Milan’s new signings to integrate into that squad, how many will boom and how many will be meh or basically bust. They’ve spent a whooooooooole lot of money, and that usually means there isn’t necessarily a lot of patience that comes along with so many euros being thrown around.

James: Football! Italian Football is something else. We want drama, shocks, goals, and thrills. With more teams aiming for the top spot, it should be a thrilling season. Forza Milan!

Bren: I think it has to be the return to prominence of the Milan sides. While they won’t immediately return to their former glory, their resurgence should ensure a legitimate race for the Scudetto in the years to come. Having as many as five teams battling for the championship year in and year out is something only the Premiership can rival. In terms of individual talents, I look forward to the likes of Insigne, Hamsik, Paulo Dybala and Radja Nainggolan cementing their places among the game’s best and brightest.

Matt: I am looking forward to the start of the season. This will be my first full season in the Serpents of Madonnina community [ed. note: Matt took over the site after the end of last season, so wish him a warm welcome if you haven’t already!], and I am pretty excited about the potential for interaction and being able to write about the Nerazzurri for a solid fan base.

Tito: Seeing Fiorentina prove the doubters wrong and put on a much more impressive season than people are thinking they will.