#fuuuuuuuck I wanted to post this but now I’m on post limit cause my stupid reblogging ass fuck me I hate myself okay bye ugh I’ll schedule
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Thinking about drinking again want to be home alone forever that’s called moving out idiot get a job lol thanks brain anyways where’s the vodka
#I will drink soon I know I will but not 2nite#sleepy tired tonight but that’s good I need to be tired to sleep cause my brain has been evil with all the trauma flashbacks recently#I got like three hours of sleep last night and I’m exhausted rn but can’t sleep#I just feel like shit and I hate my incredibly accurate and vivid memory rn#great for writing horrible for living my life#me and Sylvia Plath like this fr 🤞#I need to die or sleep already I am miserable and only getting worse but I am also applying to jobs and becoming more of an actual person#while actively descending into madness#haha yeah anyways swag swag swag I think I might be going into a bit of a depressive episode and trying so desperately to get out of it#before it’s really started but it feels like the world is crushing me and there’s nothing I can do#I need to get back on my meds fuck that will fix me why are my chemicals so fucked up forever ugh#I will be mentally I’ll all of my life I just need to deal with it but god the violent thoughts are never ending and I need to tear#someone apart viciously or write poetry about a wolf#that will fix me#okay bye#going to go try to write or sleep or cry maybe#fuuuuuuuck I wanted to post this but now I’m on post limit cause my stupid reblogging ass fuck me I hate myself okay bye ugh I’ll schedule#this for midnight#I wrote this at nine thirty btw
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