#fyi no they’re not going to kill people it’s just them making an actual grocery list

[boopypastaissalty]

It was an accident, I swear! Pg 6

Original comic:  patton-sanders-killed-a-man.tumblr.com/post/618278832333520896/one-shower-and-change-of-clothes-later

"Patton, calm down, don't act suspicious. Just try to be real confident and stuff, no one will question you. Also, just curious, who was it?"

It was always that question, wasn't it? 'Patton, who was it? What was he doing? You probably had a good reason, but who was it?' Didn't they watch me do it?

"A good way to get people to leave you alone is to walk briskly and purposefully, and looking anxious doesn't hurt. Running catches attention, but if you look like you forgot something or are trying to reach somewhere quickly -which you are- people will usually figure you're busy with something and let you be"

That sounded reasonable

"Good idea, Pat! Try not to look suspicious though- you don't want to draw more attention to yourself."

Great now the don't be suspicious meme is running through my head. That sure helps settle my nerves. I heard a familiar voice that I hopes was just in my head, but sadly, wasn't say "Oh Patty boy!"

I muttered "Oh no" and turned around. It was my neighbor, Ms. Green.

She smiled at me "Patton, dear, it's been awhile since I've seen you, how are you? Also, can you help me carry my groceries to my apartment? My knees are getting creaky."

Act natural... Act natural... Act natural "I, um, would love to and I swear I'll help you another time, but you see I hmm..." I paused trying to frantically think of an excuse, "I'm sorry Ms. Green but I got, uh, an important business meeting, I'll see you later."

I turned around and started to walk away as she said "Um, alright" I felt bad for lying to her, but it was better than her knowing what I did.

---------

Ms. Green looked at her hands and had a realization "Wait a minute, didn't the kid get laid off just two weeks ago?" she muttered as she watched Patton walk away.

---------

It took me about ten minutes to get home and as soon as I did, I  flopped down onto the couch and screamed into it, which kind of felt good to release.

"Just trying to help you out here pal, always good to have more people try to solve a problem, ain't it? Or is there anyone, ya know, real, you could ask for help in this situation?"

I lifted my head and whispered "Unfortunately the only people I'm friendly with are are, well, HIM and Ms. Green and one's dead in the alleyway and I really don't think Ms. Green would help me hide from the police... Virgil would have," I thought of my dark haired, emo friend, at least, he was my friend... "Ugh, I can't believe you're actually considering it, what are you even going to say? 'Oh hey, Virgil! I know we haven't talked in like three years but can you help me hide away from the police? Why? Oh, I just killed our former band mate' I bet that would go over so well, there's no way he would hate you more than he probably already does. HE was right, I am a horrible person" I face palmed at myself. I felt hopeless.

"Hey Patton? Why ARE you so afraid? I mean, if it was an accident as you said, you probably won't be punished that harshly. (It might be a different story now that you've hidden the evidence, though)"

Great the questions are back

"Mind if we get at least SOME kind of explanation Pat? We're on your side here!"

"Why don't you wanna talk? We can help you! You just need to let us know what's going on."

"Why are you afraid to tell us who this is? And why did you do it? Why did you stab this person so many times? Are you feeling alright?"

"Why are you scared to tell us? It's not like the cops will know what we say is true when they could just think they're going crazy and you can chat while you get your stuff. It's empty anyway, you're safe to talk, not too loud is all"

I sat there for a moment with my hand still on my forehead and then got up, I couldn't help but to smirk a bit "Okay, sorry, but I can't answer your questions at the moment, I uh, got to shower! I would really appreciate it if you guys don't follow me"

A few minutes later I was in the shower, the warm water felt good and was kind of relaxing when out of the blue a voice asked "So... Did you keep the teeth?" I jumped for a sec, glaring at nothing and pulled the shower curtain closed tighter.

After I showered, I picked up my bloody clothes and tried to figure out what to do with them when a helpful voice chimed in "Hi Pat! If you need to take blood out of your clothing, use hydrogen peroxide. Just small amounts can get rid of blood, and all you need to do is put it on the area, watch as the blood disappears, and rinse with cold water. Do this with the murder weapon too. Use gloves when you do, okay?" That one sounded oddly like a macabre advertisement.

"FYI, hydrogen peroxide gets out blood"

"Ya know, Pat, you should probably dispose of the body and other evidence. I'd recommend burning it. PS: Use cold water and soap to get blood out of clothes" [Quick little AN, don't burn a body to hide evidence, it smells, smokes, and is not high enough heat to cremate the body, all you're doing is creating a mess and a more disfigured body and idk why I know this]

"Can you somehow get your hands on some hydrogen peroxide? That should get the blood out of your hoodie. Or lemon juice, I've heard that works too!"

"Color me intrigued. Patton, about your clothes: pour hydrogen peroxide directly onto the stain (not to much, seriously use a cotton ball) and after the stain looks removed, rinse with cold water (repeat as needed). Also maybe do something that calms you down, like baking. That'll also help with the smell. Stay calm, take deep breaths. Drink a cup of water. We're here for you" Come to think of it, I hadn't even noticed the smell until now, I guess I was too worked up.

"Oh! And Darling, I forgot to mention, wash those clothes in cold water! Hot water just sets the stains. And you may want to do it by hand, just to be sure you get any stubborn spots. Blood doesn't stick to bathtubs, so that's likely the best place to clean up" How do you voices keep coming up with so many nicknames for me? I don't think I've had so many in my life, ever.

"I guess I can't avoid you guys-" I said, ignoring the advice for a moment, "Oh, nevermind, that's surprisingly useful, sadly, I don't think I have any hydrogen peroxide stuff, but I was actually gonna wash them with hot water since I thought that's what you do with stains." I went to the bathroom and but my clothes in the sink, thoroughly washing with soap and cold water, "I just realized that I don't have time to let my clothes dry before I leave" I said aloud, right as it came into my head.

"Hydrogen peroxide helps get bloodstains out!!! Do you have a hideout or a friend who doesn't ask questions?? Make sure that, if you're free, to bring money. And toilet paper because motel toilet paper is /a w f u l/"

"Okay, got my clothes, my wallet, my bus pass, my scrap book, a pillow, a small blanket, an umbrella, two books, one roll of toilet paper, hand sanitizer, the knife, and my phone..." I elongated the word as I stared at my lock screen

"What are you hiding, Patton?"

I didn't even look up from my phone "You guys wanna know that bad? Fine, I'll give you guys a hint. I trusted HIM with everything about me and HE broke that trust and I'm never gonna make that mistake twice." I changed my phone background. I couldn't have it be me, Virgil, and HIM.

Master Post

[twinspeakss]

Life As a Never-ending To-do List?

Lately I’ve been feeling life is a never-ending to-do list.

Mainly because I’ve been guided by a to-do list I keep adding things to. 

This is perhaps how it’s always been, the only difference being now I am writing down each task to be done with a box next to it, which is checked when I complete the task, so it’s really visceral. I run out of paper writing and completing these to-do lists. 

I look at one every day if not multiple times a day and take it with me so I can check things off as I do them.

What if I stopped? Didn’t pay bills, repair purses, purchase groceries? Would I die? I don’t know. I don’t think I can stop. Perhaps I’m not meant to stop.

Humans are planning creatures. Perhaps we need to plan to survive.

So what part of me is upset and disappointed, even angry about this to-do list feature of the human mind?

Is it the part that doesn’t want to do anything? The tired part that wants to sit on the couch and not worry? This part is sweet and I love it...but might it kill me if I let it takeover?

Why do I have such trouble accepting life might be a never-ending to-do list? Is it because it seems so mundane? Do I want life to be only about wonder, surprise, amazement and ecstasy? Will I accept nothing less?

My “rational” mind tells me life is mostly ordinary and predictable, with short and sometimes prolonged moments of surprise, amazement, wonder and ecstasy.

Mostly though, it is ordinary, repetitive and even a little robotic.

Look no further than the loops in my mind - not good enough, hate my job, actually like my job, feel sexy, need more money, off dairy products, on dairy products. As the name “loops” implies my thoughts are repetitive. As within, so without perhaps.

I feel very unoriginal. Yet of course I am original because I am the only one who could string these particular words together at this particular time in this particular place. I am the creator and the creation.

Maybe because of movies, books and imagination (a characteristic that contributes greatly to both my dissatisfaction and joy in life), I find it hard to believe this is all there is.

By this I mean me going from place to place checking things off a to-do list. Putting in a load of laundry for the 100,000th time, buying groceries for the 50,000th time, eating for the 1,000,000th time.*

Isn’t there magic?! Is there something I missed? Why am I not falling madly in love with someone every day and being taken to Paris on a whim? 

Why don’t I show up to work shocked to see the building has burned down and hug all my co-workers then confess what I’d really like to be doing with my life and go off and try to do that? 

Why isn’t a ghost appearing in front of me now to tell me something super important? Why is life so 3D, so humdrum, so watching my dad watch t.v. for the 100th night in a row?

Is what I wish to be there not there or is it there and I can’t access it?

I hear profound spiritual or otherwise experiences people have - they see ghosts, have near-death experiences (FYI don’t want that), feel like they’re floating in meditation, randomly meet a celebrity and get taken under their wing and launched to superstardom. They have moments of more.

I’m sure I’ve had my moments of more. It seems like it’s been a while though. I’m ready for another more experience. Otherwise I’ll just have to make it up, which I’m pretty good at.

Making up life beyond to-do lists isn’t the same as having it happen in the waking world. 

Maybe that’s what attracts me to drugs, though drugs take me to the same places almost every time, so maybe I need new drugs. 

Or maybe I need to find magic without drugs, or give up on magic, or change my perspective, or have a spiritual awakening.

Some people think living is a drug, and I guess it is, and maybe the consistency I’m experiencing is something certain people crave. 

Maybe I just always crave what I don’t have and am never satisfied with life the way it is (another of my repetitive loops).

*these numbers are completely oota (out of the ass)

[boopypastaissalty]

Page 6

https://www.quotev.com/story/12822678/It-was-an-accident-I-swearAN: I know this took forever to come out

Original comic:  patton-sanders-killed-a-man.tumblr.com/post/618278832333520896/one-shower-and-change-of-clothes-later by @patton-sanders-killed-a-man

"Patton, calm down, don't act suspicious. Just try to be real confident and stuff, no one will question you. Also, just curious, who was it?"

It was always that question, wasn't it? 'Patton, who was it? What was he doing? You probably had a good reason, but who was it?' Didn't they watch me do it?

"A good way to get people to leave you alone is to walk briskly and purposefully, and looking anxious doesn't hurt. Running catches attention, but if you look like you forgot something or are trying to reach somewhere quickly -which you are- people will usually figure you're busy with something and let you be"

That sounded reasonable

"Good idea, Pat! Try not to look suspicious though- you don't want to draw more attention to yourself."

Great now the don't be suspicious meme is running through my head. That sure helps settle my nerves. I heard a familiar voice that I hopes was just in my head, but sadly, wasn't say "Oh Patty boy!"

I muttered "Oh no" and turned around. It was my neighbor, Ms. Green.

She smiled at me "Patton, dear, it's been awhile since I've seen you, how are you? Also, can you help me carry my groceries to my apartment? My knees are getting creaky."

Act natural... Act natural... Act natural "I, um, would love to and I swear I'll help you another time, but you see I hmm..." I paused trying to frantically think of an excuse, "I'm sorry Ms. Green but I got, uh, an important business meeting, I'll see you later."

I turned around and started to walk away as she said "Um, alright" I felt bad for lying to her, but it was better than her knowing what I did.

---------

Ms. Green looked at her hands and had a realization "Wait a minute, didn't the kid get laid off just two weeks ago?" she muttered as she watched Patton walk away.

---------

It took me about ten minutes to get home and as soon as I did, I  flopped down onto the couch and screamed into it, which kind of felt good to release.

"Just trying to help you out here pal, always good to have more people try to solve a problem, ain't it? Or is there anyone, ya know, real, you could ask for help in this situation?"

I lifted my head and whispered "Unfortunately the only people I'm friendly with are are, well, HIM and Ms. Green and one's dead in the alleyway and I really don't think Ms. Green would help me hide from the police... Virgil would have," I thought of my dark haired, emo friend, at least, he was my friend... "Ugh, I can't believe you're actually considering it, what are you even going to say? 'Oh hey, Virgil! I know we haven't talked in like three years but can you help me hide away from the police? Why? Oh, I just killed our former band mate' I bet that would go over so well, there's no way he would hate you more than he probably already does. HE was right, I am a horrible person" I face palmed at myself. I felt hopeless.

"Hey Patton? Why ARE you so afraid? I mean, if it was an accident as you said, you probably won't be punished that harshly. (It might be a different story now that you've hidden the evidence, though)"

Great the questions are back

"Mind if we get at least SOME kind of explanation Pat? We're on your side here!"

"Why don't you wanna talk? We can help you! You just need to let us know what's going on."

"Why are you afraid to tell us who this is? And why did you do it? Why did you stab this person so many times? Are you feeling alright?"

"Why are you scared to tell us? It's not like the cops will know what we say is true when they could just think they're going crazy and you can chat while you get your stuff. It's empty anyway, you're safe to talk, not too loud is all"

I sat there for a moment with my hand still on my forehead and then got up, I couldn't help but to smirk a bit "Okay, sorry, but I can't answer your questions at the moment, I uh, got to shower! I would really appreciate it if you guys don't follow me"

A few minutes later I was in the shower, the warm water felt good and was kind of relaxing when out of the blue a voice asked "So... Did you keep the teeth?" I jumped for a sec, glaring at nothing and pulled the shower curtain closed tighter.

After I showered, I picked up my bloody clothes and tried to figure out what to do with them when a helpful voice chimed in "Hi Pat! If you need to take blood out of your clothing, use hydrogen peroxide. Just small amounts can get rid of blood, and all you need to do is put it on the area, watch as the blood disappears, and rinse with cold water. Do this with the murder weapon too. Use gloves when you do, okay?" That one sounded oddly like a macabre advertisement. 

"FYI, hydrogen peroxide gets out blood"

"Ya know, Pat, you should probably dispose of the body and other evidence. I'd recommend burning it. PS: Use cold water and soap to get blood out of clothes" [Quick little AN, don't burn a body to hide evidence, it smells, smokes, and is not high enough heat to cremate the body, all you're doing is creating a mess and a more disfigured body and idk why I know this]

"Can you somehow get your hands on some hydrogen peroxide? That should get the blood out of your hoodie. Or lemon juice, I've heard that works too!"

"Color me intrigued. Patton, about your clothes: pour hydrogen peroxide directly onto the stain (not to much, seriously use a cotton ball) and after the stain looks removed, rinse with cold water (repeat as needed). Also maybe do something that calms you down, like baking. That'll also help with the smell. Stay calm, take deep breaths. Drink a cup of water. We're here for you" Come to think of it, I hadn't even noticed the smell until now, I guess I was too worked up.

"Oh! And Darling, I forgot to mention, wash those clothes in cold water! Hot water just sets the stains. And you may want to do it by hand, just to be sure you get any stubborn spots. Blood doesn't stick to bathtubs, so that's likely the best place to clean up" How do you voices keep coming up with so many nicknames for me? I don't think I've had so many in my life, ever.

"I guess I can't avoid you guys-" I said, ignoring the advice for a moment, "Oh, nevermind, that's surprisingly useful, sadly, I don't think I have any hydrogen peroxide stuff, but I was actually gonna wash them with hot water since I thought that's what you do with stains." I went to the bathroom and but my clothes in the sink, thoroughly washing with soap and cold water, "I just realized that I don't have time to let my clothes dry before I leave" I said aloud, right as it came into my head.

"Hydrogen peroxide helps get bloodstains out!!! Do you have a hideout or a friend who doesn't ask questions?? Make sure that, if you're free, to bring money. And toilet paper because motel toilet paper is /a w f u l/"

"Okay, got my clothes, my wallet, my bus pass, my scrap book, a pillow, a small blanket, an umbrella, two books, one roll of toilet paper, hand sanitizer, the knife, and my phone..." I elongated the word as I stared at my lock screen

"What are you hiding, Patton?"

I didn't even look up from my phone "You guys wanna know that bad? Fine, I'll give you guys a hint. I trusted HIM with everything about me and HE broke that trust and I'm never gonna make that mistake twice." I changed my phone background. I couldn't have it be me, Virgil, and HIM.

Also on Quotev: https://www.quotev.com/story/12822678/It-was-an-accident-I-swear