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squidpro-quo · 2 years

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Dakaretai Otoko No. 1

AN: Forgot I could post on tumblr too for a bit, whoops! Couldn't sleep because of this fic, enjoy

Ryuu had never thought to ask, but then it would never have occurred to him that it could be a possibility. Even knowing his experience with the President over the years, and with apologizing to Sougo-kun about his thoughtless comments on family before, he’d never expected to miss something else so glaringly close to him. If they hadn’t all moved in together, how long would it have taken him to notice? To realize and put the pieces together, to see the pattern that had been repeating beside him all this time?

They’d settled into something of a routine once they moved into his place, with regards to navigating each other’s things and laundry, all the mundanity of everyday life lived together. There had been a few surprises, Tenn’s collection of houseplants being one, and a few arguments about the air conditioning and the heater and methods for loading the dishwasher, but he knew those squabbles between the other two were simply the equivalent of play-fighting amongst lion cubs. He’d heard the same gripes from his brothers a dozen times if ever and they were all growing so much closer in the process that the noise was worth it all.

The washing machine was yet another point of contention, the fact that they could not combine their loads quickly became apparent. Ryuu’s own sweaty sports club clothes required a certain setting, Tenn followed a rigid regimen towards keeping his colors vibrant, and Gaku…That Gaku had so many clothes that required handwashing perhaps shouldn’t have surprised Ryuu by this point, but the world of designer brands and their upkeep was still newer to him than to the other two. He was no stranger to the chore of it, had helped his mother out back home with their festival wear, and he knew their costumes usually necessitated the same class of care, but for his own leisure and personal choice, the option wasn’t one he would’ve picked. And considering the stray garment that had wound up in his basket, he didn’t know if Gaku had picked it either.

It was sheer silk, smooth and so diaphanous that Ryuu felt as if he were holding a wisp of mist, billowing even in the stagnant air of the bathroom. Turning it over, he finally understood that it was a top, the sleeves slitted and the neckline so wide that he’d almost mistaken it for a skirt. Unbidden, the image of Gaku wearing it rose in his mind’s eye, the silk brushing his fingers just like now, but already warm from its wearer. His imagination provided plenty of detail, despite the fact that he’d never seen Gaku wear it before—

He’d never seen Gaku wear it, though it was clearly expensive and well-made… Ryuu blushed, realizing the truth, folding it on the counter as carefully as a gift deserved. With all that had happened, the last he’d heard was that Tsumugi accepted and understood the strictures on them both now and they’d kept their distance, but this might be a reunion present of some sort. Going indie had its perks, certainly.

Turning back to his own laundry, Ryuu ignored the tightness in his chest and buried the image under a list of what else they needed to fit into their meager budget and just how they were going to make ends meet.

~*~

Amidst chasing missed chances and fading opportunities across the city, Ryuu forgot about tidying up at home for a few days. With the crushing weight of every closed door and refusal they’d faced, he fell back on doing something that he could control and would leave him in a better place by the end, regardless of the rest of their predicament. Cleaning was a way to wipe his mind free of worry for a while, to find the joy in a spotless surface and the ache after a thorough scrubbing, creating a small corner of order in an otherwise uncaring city.

Vacuuming was the last order of business, the satisfying sound of all the grit and little irritants being removed lulling him into a trance, until a glitter in the carpet behind the entry table caught his eye. He’d moved the vacuum over it before the sight of it had fully sunk in: the gem-bright shine of jewelry. Fumbling to turn the vacuum off before it was sucked in, he heard the rattle and winced. He crouched, hoping to salvage whatever might be left, and found it still lodged in the carpet, an earring.

Despite the attack by the vacuum, it looked undamaged, sparkling as he twisted it free of the rug. It was a waterfall of pearls, cascading delicately over his palm, their various sizes creating an illusion of foam amidst the silver wires. It belonged at a gala, paired with a dress and necklace to match. He recognized the present for what it was this time, no distractions or delusions getting in the way.

Knowing that Gaku had headed in to shower as soon as he’d returned, Ryuu tried the door to his room, earring in hand ready to slip onto the dresser discreetly. Ryuu was aware of Gaku’s predilection towards big gestures, ever the dramatic romantic at heart, and how openly he wore that heart on his sleeve; if he had decided to keep this courtship a secret then Ryuu wouldn’t pry. He knew what it was to yearn, to feel the spark and yet be kept from fanning it into a flame, to hope for something that might be within reach and still be scared to grasp. It was a vulnerability he didn’t know how Gaku could bear so often, as freely falling into love as if it were a soft bed and not the terrifying uncertainty of sky-diving, but that courage was just another reason why he—

Gaku looked up from his bed, out of the shower and already dressed, brows rising at Ryuu’s sudden entrance. Laid out across the covers were several outfits, some revealing while others left a little more to the imagination but all as provoking as the next. A jumble of jewels was spread beside him, necklaces dripping with diamonds, crystal aigrettes, and rings of all styles, a treasure trove in the making.

Ryuu’s mind ground to a halt, taking in the array of finery on display, and the pieces on Gaku himself. He’d been in the middle of pinning back a strand of hair, evidently almost ready to leave.

“Where’d you find it? I thought I’d looked everywhere,” Gaku said, spying the earring in his open hand and crossing the room with a wide grin. “Trust you to be the savior of the hour, Ryuu!”

Taking it, Gaku quickly scooped up its pair and put them in, already turning back to the bed when Ryuu found his voice.

“They’re yours?”

“Yeah?” Gaku didn’t look up from where he was sorting through the rest of the jewelry. “It’s certainly not Tenn’s.”

“But…not Tsumugi’s?” He’d thought he knew the full picture, but the pieces he’d assumed immovable were falling apart.

“Why would it be hers?”

“It’s so nice, an expensive gift like that is…”

“Ryuu, these are all fake,” Gaku said, finally finding what he’d been searching for and straightening up again. The confusion on Ryuu’s face seemed to reach him through the rush of getting ready and he stopped in place, looking Ryuu steadily in the eye. “Sure, they glitter and shine, but none of them is worth what they would have you believe. But the clients like them, so I wear them.”

“At the soba shop?” Ryuu feels leagues behind, trying to connect this to what he knows of Gaku.

“No, not at the soba shop!” The laugh that breaks through Gaku pulls Ryuu from his thoughts, roots him in the moment. He admires the way the shirt is cinched tight at Gaku’s waist, a desire to feel with his hands surfacing before Gaku’s next words slam him back into reality. “My escort clients.”

Ryuu’s been in the city long enough to know what that means, what that entails. The only word that leaves him is, “Why?”

“We need the money. Other people may turn their noses up at us, but that kind of snobbery doesn’t bother the ones who pay me. It’s mostly the same ones from before Trigger anyway, so they’re actually happy that I have the time again.” He scowls at the last, irritated at the schadenfreude.

“Before Trigger?” Ryuu knows he’s just repeating, but Gaku doesn’t seem to notice the echo, words spilling out of him as easily as ever.

“Longer than we’ve been Trigger actually, now that I count back.”

“When did it start?” He can do the comparative math, but he naively hopes Gaku will have an answer that doesn’t make his heart squeeze with grief.

“When my father got custody. There was a whole court battle over it, my mom went down fighting, and the legal fees were hefty on both sides. I didn’t have anyone to debut with and a solo career would’ve been too big of a gamble for the company, so being an escort was how my father got back his ‘investment’. Technically, I was paying off both sides since I just gave my mom my cut, but they didn’t need to know that.” Gaku shrugs, the story old news of an era past, tracing the last piece he’d picked up from the bed. It’s a thick band, studded so densely with gems—like their capes from Treasure!, comes the unbidden comparison—that he can barely see the black velvet of the backing, and when Gaku raises it to his neck, Ryuu breaks his restraint and reaches out, catching hold of Gaku’s hand.

“You’re not alone anymore,”—his voice breaks—”you don’t answer to him anymore. You don’t have to…” He’s never been the best with words, when the silence falls all he can do is run a thumb along the back of Gaku’s fingers in a slow circle, avoiding the jeweled collar’s edge. He’s been witness to the President’s disregard for years, has had the words ‘it doesn’t matter if you’re my son’ resonate in his head until he saw red and snapped, and known how Gaku, who could never stand silent in the face of others’ injustice, had silently endured his own. In someone who encouraged self-confidence, in Ryuu and Mitsuki and others, to still be chained to the search for any hint of approval, the smallest crumb of blatant pride, or acknowledgement of his efforts from his father had broken Ryuu’s heart more thoroughly than any rejection could. Gaku deserved all the praise that could ever be spoken, but Ryuu knew all his words would pale in comparison to just one from President Yaotome.

“I’m not doing it for him.” Gaku’s voice is soft, as if concerned he’ll spook Ryuu with anything louder. The velvet is crushed against Ryuu’s skin as he takes Ryuu’s hand in both of his own, the softness at odds with the sharp edges of the jewels. “I’m doing it for us. I want us to rise back up to the top, and if this is a way I can help jumpstart that, then I’ll do it gladly. I’m not the Dakaretai Otoko No. 1 for nothing, am I?”

Gaku’s smile has always been one that Ryuu can’t resist mirroring, even if his is fainter and smaller this time.

“But I’m No. 2, then I should—”

“Ryuu, leave it to me. It’ll just be a little longer, just until we get our foot in the door again. We’re close, that’s the direction you should focus on.” Gaku lets go, fiddling with the clasps of the collar. “Help me with this, will you?”

Ryuu hesitates, staring at the gems and knowing that the question is twofold. He might wish he could barge back into the President’s office and give him a big enough piece of his mind that the man will choke on it, but right here, right now, he knows what will do the most good is being a support where needed, when asked.

He steps behind Gaku, pulling the collar flush with pale skin, and clips it into place. It truly is the last piece, the crown jewels of the whole look, and as Gaku hurries to slip on his coat while hissing at the time, Ryuu bites his lip and lets it slip out, “You look stunning.”

Gaku pauses on the threshold, looking back from the cusp of the night, a dangerous glint in his eye. He smiles, sharp, and instead of saying goodbye, he says, “When I get back, help me take it all off, will you?”

Ryuu swallows and nods, a shiver climbing up his spine. He’ll find his voice and speak the words until Gaku forgets he ever wanted to hear them from someone else.

#idolish7 #gakuryuu #tsunashi ryunosuke #yaotome gaku #not a fan of sosuke after the birthday card story so this is me making it worse #have been wanting to do a fic about how badly g wants his attention and praise and yet nothing he does will ever genuinely give that to him #his advice to everyone is to punch their dad but he's still blind to what his own father does to him and I want ryuu #to help him see that someday #for all that the story has done great with tamaki and sougo's family situations #this is one that i wish would stop being swept under the rug of 'it's just his way of showing love'#idolish7 trigger #i7 #ainana #my writing #this is also on ao3

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youuuimeanmee · 1 year

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RWTGI 34 Thoughts

😆🥰🤗 I've been waiting for Kirishima's past to be translated since forever 😭😭Now I can FINALLY talk about this chapter wkdbjsnsjsjk

Out of all the mysteries presented in this series (the hell's up with Suo Azami, Renji, Yoshino's parents, the brewing yakuza civil war), Kirishima's past is one thing that hyped me up the most; mostly because I've been dying to know the background this insane yet lovable(?) ML lololol.

⚠️ Though the title is Ch 34's Thoughts, I actually started it from ch 33. If you haven't read it then what are you doing here, go to MangaDex if you don't wanna get spoiled here.

⚠️⚠️TW; Bullying, Abuse, Self H4rm, yk how Kirishima is.

👏 Okay! So!

We FINALLY get to see Kirishima's rich ass mommy and daddy 🥳🥳🥳

(tho they don't have a face, I'll take it)

Looks like the parents are busy people, they missed the fact that their son is not normal since birth. That, or Kirishima is just damn good at hiding it. Maybe both.

"My 2 classmates are fighting over irrelevant things. Solution? Erase the thing without anyone knowing. No more things to fight, problem solved 🙂"

He has a shrewd moral compass, I have a feeling he was being genuine when he "helped" his classmates. Aww my cute baby gremlin.

Or if he wasn't being 100% genuine, maybe he tore up the cards to surpress his urges for violence, to ease the boredom he felt because he couldn't feel anything while living in a normal, peaceful life.

The parents slowly realize the abnormal blood that's been there since Gaku era has never disappear from their family.

Since Gaku is the black sheep of the family, Kirishima's dad prob thought: 'Oh fuck this is uncle all over again. No wait I can do this. He already released his energy using a good outlet (karate), he just needs to surround himself with good people. Friends, yeah. The school we picked is the best; surely there's no bad influence that's gonna taint my son. No more psycho #2.' Umm, I hate to break it to you, but daddy-

Ironically, the dad might be the first person who gave him insight about the feeling of having fun by being with a friend. Up until that point, he probably didn't know the feeling he felt when he did the karate. He did it many times, and the dad claimed he liked it, but he never registered it as 'liking something' until it was pointed out to him.

(just like when kirishima threw daggers at yoshino's back until she pointed out he might be jealous of Shoma and he got a little 'ahh that explains it' moment.)

Aww look at that probing eyes, trying to search the answer of his boredom from his dad 🥺

Let's be real Kirishima could really use a proper diagnosis and therapy back then, even right now.

The smile of a child who has found the spark of his life:

LMAO seriously, he smiles because Kodaka can kick hard. The more pleasure (read: pain) he gets from other people, the more he's gonna seek it.

But Kodaka is still weaker than him, so the pleasure ends quickly.

Enter Otogawa.

She's cute. Sweet. More importantly, she's important enough to trigger Kodaka.

She told him all he needed to know about Kodaka. Great in academics, gyms, and karate. Secretly violent too. Just like himself.

"He's just like me, so we matched right? We can be friends! 😃"

Kirishima be like: FUCK YES MORE FRIENDS TO FUCK.

Remember in ch 25.2 when Kirishima told Yoshino he once formed a "friendship plan" that went down the drain?

Whelp, looks like Kodaka is that "friend." We all know how that ends, tho.

Anyways.

Thus, began Kirishima's scheme to ✨️nurture✨️ Kodaka into a person who could kick him harder & also strong enough to not break easily. He befriended (read: flirted) with his crush, lured him into a desolate place, provoked him, stayed docile & easy to kick, yadda yadda.

Really an elaborate plan for someone his age, it's almost cute.

This moment of Kirishima and concealer really highlights his cleverness since he was a kid. If he buys a concealer for his bruise, it's too pricey for his budget. Parents will question unnecessarily if he were caught buying it. Solution? Pretend to return the high schooler's money (even though it's his own) so they'd do the makeup for him. Bruise covered, money covered, no one's gonna know ☺️ Little manipulative shit.

I was gonna feel sorry for him for getting beaten up, but then his innocent, excited smile turned me off so quick. Ugh.

(This is prob the beginning of his exploration to find new "fun" stuff to try. Like choking himself, for example.)

Kirishima is a pathological liar huh. Saying his birthday is in September even though it's in November. This really adds weight to his words earlier that he only revealed his true birthday to Yoshino 🥺🥲

Kirishima's plan to nurture Kodaka is going smoothly in this chapter. Maintaining good relationship with Otogawa, making him jealous and all that.

I bet bringing a 10,000 yen bill is part of the plan too, because kids need the motivation to keep coming back to him. Extorting a broke student is boring afterall.

It's been 300 days since Kodaka had beaten him up? Um. Excuse me what the fuck. With that many injuries, Where are his parents??? Did he ever get questioned at all?? Is Kirishima just that good at lying?? I'm sorry, but I also smell neglection. Intentionally or not.

Moving on, Kirishima is damn good huh. His fights like an adult, prob even better than some yakuza. He's 12. Let that sink in.

(should've seen it coming tbh, but it still surprises me.)

I wanna say he's so disgusting when he ripped the poor dude's ear (where on earth did he learn that?), but he's also my son, so...

Also, the art is so clean. My eyes is blessed, thank you Konishi.

I'm running out of gas. Yeah that's all for today! See you next time 👋

#raise wa tanin ga ii #rwtgi #rwtgi ch 33 #rwtgi ch 34 #miyama kirishima #rwtgi meta #rwtgi analysis #tw abuse #tw bullying #tw self h4rm

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