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uaegottabekiddingme · 11 years

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Growing up lesbian in the UAE

Growing up lesbian in the UAE was actually really easy for me. (Imagine that!)

It was kinda hard to meet people oftentimes, but that was really the extent of my obstacles as a young lesbian in 90s Dubai. Then the internet was invented, and everything soon fell into place. Thanks ICQ. Thanks MSN.

I was a femme. So people couldn't really tell. I had long hair and I loved red lipstick and Take That. (privately I, I loved Alicia Silverstone circa Clueless, and actually wrote to her once, telling her I was gay, and believe it or not, she wrote me back, and gave me a signed picture of a film still she was doing. Too bad I didn't reveal my real name to her incase my letter was intercepted by UAE mail, so I had to live with a signed picture of Alicia Silverstone that read "Dear Yonja, I love you. Alicia Silverstone.)

Yes. Life was happy, fun, safe, and you had to have a huge sense of humor if you were to survive the limitations.

I guess, I first felt different when I was 6. I went to an international school in Dubai, and I had the biggest crush on a girl called Louise. Lousie was in the 3rd grade (I was in the 1st grade). I remember feeling like I wanted to kiss her. And that I wanted her to always want to hang out with me. And come over. It made me feel proud she liked ME better than all the other 3rd graders. But then she borrowed my Thundercats video I got from Hardeez, and never gave it back. So we also broke up and never talked again.

It was when I was 13 that I first put a label on it. My best friend and I were chatting over the phone (as you would in pre-internet, pre-whatsapp, 90's Dubai).

She was trying to make me laugh by looking up "naughty" words in the dictionary. Then she got to the letter "L", and read out the word "Lesbian".

I had my first "Aha!" moment.

Instantly, it all fell into place. I now felt like I had a job to do. Like I had just been handed my first job description, I now needed to figure out what is expected of me as a "Lesbian".

"Meet another lesbians"

"Kiss other lesbians"

"Shoot some pool with other lesbians"

That same year, I had my first girl on girl kiss. The story is both tragic and hilarious.

Every summer, my mom took us on summer vacation to her hometown Alexandria in Egypt.

Alexandria was still beautiful then, with clear beaches, and salty air. So Mom would sign us up to this one recreational resort, so my sister and I could meet new friends, hang out, and swim. I met some of the best friends of my life there. (if you're reading this, you know who you are :)

One girl, who I would now describe as a 13 year old version of Mel B from the Spice Girls in terms of looks, became my summer buddy. She, too, lived in the UAE, and was vacationing in Alex in the summers, which was cool. So we made plans to keep hanging out even when summer was over.

For some reason, up in her bedroom at her parent's strange looking Sharjah house, we got talking about "lesbians" while smoking stolen cigarettes and listening to the, wait for it, Backstreet Boys, when suddenly, 13 year-old Mel B declares she "always wondered if she might be a lesbian, and wishes she could one day kiss a girl to see what it was like".

Ok. Bingo. That was easy. We kissed. Forever.

The NEXT day however, things turned sour. Who would have thought that even THIRTEEN year olds would have "the morning after" syndrome.

She woke up, distant. She then began to cry. What happened next, is pure comedy gold. She approaches me, clutching a picture of herself at age 6, tears in her eyes, and says "I feel like shit. I'm NOT a lesbian. I WAS A BALLEEERRIIINNAAAAAAAA waaaaaaaaaah!!"

Needless to say, we never talked again. It hurt my feelings too much, and I spent a week in a bathrobe listening to George Michael's "I Can't Make You Love Me" on repeat.

Luckily, I got over it, but didn't stop dreaming of exploring this new found identity even more.

I was hitting puberty at the time and simultaneously, the internet became available. So I spent most of my free time, in between girl crushes, actively researching gay literature, history and music.

All I had uncovered played a huge part in bringing back my self-esteem, knowing that there were others out there (successful others), that were like me, and that they had great lives. (Harvey Milk, KD Lang, thank you).

My goal became to just get through highschool and university, and leave the UAE for gayer shores.

But then, I never thought I could actually have a gay social life, until I hit university. That was the first time I met and befriended my a group of gay people, some Emiratis, some foreign.

Oh. You want to hear more gay growing up stories. Alright. Let's talk about my first "real" girlfriend.

My first real girlfriend (age 15)

This chick actually taught me everything I needed to know about pre-pubescent adolescent sex. We met (surprise!) at a pool shooting hang out I used to go to afterschool with friends.

She had Joan Jett black hair, piercings, and a tattoo. She was 19, and she smoked. She was the kinda chick who hung out with all the boys, got into fights, and protected the other girls from their asshole boyfriends.

We had an instant connection, she somehow totally figured out I was a closeted little fem bursting with pent up sexual rage. And boy did she bring it of me..

The "relationship" didn't last too long because I got bored. I'm a gemini, I bore easily. Nonetheless, like the grand opening of pandora's box; I needed to meet more girls. Explore other minds. And keep up momentum. That's when I met my second first real girlfriend

My second first real girlfriend (age 18).

I met my second first real girlfriend at a bar. My sister and I always got away with sneaking into this place. You guys might remember a place called Henry J Beans at the Capitol Hotel near Dhiyafa Road. That was the place.

My sister and I went to this bar any chance we got, and soon became regulars.

One night, I found myself sitting at a table with all these new kids I'd never seen before. One of the group, who was clearly a gay guy, got chatting with me, and asked where he and his "girlfriend" could meet other gay people. I did a mental somersault before I proudly exclaimed, "Well, I'm gay?" And it wasn't even two seconds before his "girlfriend" shoved in next to me, hand extended, and introduced herself as "I'm gay too.", obviously eavesdropping on our earlier conversation.

Well hello to you too Miss "I'm gay too".

Sat next to me me was the cutest, warmest looking, green-eyed, porcelain-skinned girl I had ever seen. She had short blonde hair, tiny pink button lips, and an accent TDF. Well, to cut a long story short, we spent the next 3 years together.

The day my mom found out

That was the scariest shit I have ever experienced. There's getting caught kissing the boy next door behind the tool shed, and then there's getting caught by your Egyptian mom kissing your lesbian girlfriend in your bedroom, half drunk, at 4am. I have never sobered up so fast in my life. No amount of Berocca, Coca Cola, Panadol could have sobered anyone up like my mother's snarling seething venomous stare from behind the door.

You see, she had always thought my porcelain skinned friend was just my "best friend". As you would.

But I guess seeing your kid's "best friend" with her tongue down your kid's throat would quickly throw THAT notion out the window....

It became anarchy.

Doors were slammed. Screams bellowed across our neighbourhood, insults and threats flew left right and centre. I remember just feeling sorry for both parties. It felt like the end of the world. Only luckily, it wasn't, and life carried on, albeit with major looking behind my shoulder for a few years.

Years later, and a string of girlfriends later, I can safely declare that I had a pretty "normal" romantic life. Normal as in, similar to those of straight people ie girl meets girl, girl falls in love with girl, girl half moves in with girl, girl breaks up with girl, girl moves on and meets another girl. Again, the internet, and being in university helped all that.

The only difference was that mom continued to always think they were my were my besties, and that my constant need to "move out" or spend extended amount of time with them was just for me to learn how to live "independently".

Straight girls in Arabia would pretty much chime in in agreement that, in order for us to semi live our romantic lives out happily, we'd have to hide our partners behind our parent's backs. behind our parent's backs.

Our "girlfriends" were our "boyrfriends", or, in my case, "my boyfriends" were my actual "boyfriends" and my "girlfriends" were just my friends. haha. Joke.

So, in a nutshell, that was my life growing up as a lesbian in the UAE.

I now share the most beautiful life with an inspirational, golden girl who I know would sell her kidney to see me happy.

I am happy, content, satisfied, and excited by her every single day.

#gay #lesbian #gaydubai #gayabudhabi #lesbiandubai #lesbianabudhabi #uaegay #uaelgbt #gayuae #dubailesbian #uae #unitedarabemirates #uaegovernment

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