#ghcstchild

[youthslost]

a jolt of annoyance runs up a perfectly postured spine as a paper is slapped down on the desk in front of him. turning his eyes to it would be a waste of energy - he already KNOWS it's not any of the lan disciplines the other boy was meant to be copying down. the two of them had spent enough time in the library for lan wangji to give up on expecting the ever defiant boy to do any more than the bare minimum of his work each day. the other's indiscretions were not going to affect his studies, however, and so the paper is pushed back towards wei wuxian with little acknowledgement.

@ghcstchild sent: ❝ Don't be like this! ❞ a soft pout chases away all the stiffness of his expression, embarrassment too unfamiliar a word as his sitting position goes from uncomfortable to unseemly, plastered all over the library desk to surrender every inch of himself to the austerity of averted gaze. Pleading for a glimpse of sunshine on his skin, like the fool he makes of himself. ❝ Lan Zhan, look at me. Don't you like my drawing? ❞

“ wei ying. 50 more copies. ” and then he would be free from his distracting presence. the slight ache in his chest at the thought is just anticipation, he's sure. nothing else. though since they are almost done with their time together, he supposes he could spare a quick glance at the other's art. the text on musical scores is set aside for a moment as he picks up the parchment to inspect.

and it really is beautiful. in the quiet of his own mind, he can admit this ― wei ying is extremely talented. how confusing, then, that he spends all of his time playing and getting under lan wangji's skin. if he'd just study a little harder, focus a little more... the irritation bubbles in his chest at the thought of all the wasted potential, and the drawing is discarded once again. “ how annoying. ”

[guqinstrings]

-ˋˏ🌥 ┈┈ @ghcstchild inquired ; ❛  it's nothing.  ❜

   IT’S ALWAYS NOTHING with him when it comes to his own health. That was something learned throughout their shared history. It was always something that brought him irrevocable pain to still think about. Apparently, it never crossed his mind that all he continued to think about were those THIRTEEN YEARS he spent without the other because it was nothing. Still, even now it seemed, Wei Wuxian continued to fail to realize all he had to do was ask for help. 

   When the world stood against him, did he still not realize that Lan Wangji was determined to stay by his side? Regardless of what the Cultivation World threw at them, all he wanted was to protect the man who was currently telling him it was nothing. 

   There are many words that Lan Wangji can say, many that would fit and would even be heard. Despite how much he failed to listen to warnings, he listened at the very least to the words when Lan Wangji spoke. He might not heed the warning, but he listened. However, as many gathered in his throat just as many found themselves choked down. Having the words to say and being able to speak them didn’t always go in tandem with Lan Wangji. He could fill an entire memoir with the words he had for Wei Wuxian, but they would struggle to fall from his lips. 

   So instead of saying them he knelt in front of the other, undoubtedly getting grass stains on his white robes. He would drench them in much more and had for the Cultivator across from him. Reaching his hand out he gently took hold of the thin wrist that held onto the Dizi, tugging it over toward him and turning it so he could look at the cut across his arm. With his Cultivation not what it used to be, Wei Wuxian was much more susceptible to wounds and infections. He was by no means weak, he would never consider this man weak, but he didn’t recover as quickly as Lan Wangji did. 

   Still, to some extent, he was right. The wound wasn’t that bad and he had more than enough supplies on him to take care of the wound. A simple cleaning and bandage would patch the other right up. 

   Letting go of Wei Wuxian’s wrist he reached into his robes for his Qiankun pouch and opened it up. Fetching out the jar of cream and a roll of bandages, he sat both down beside him. Tucking the pouch back away he held his hand out for Wei Wuxian’s own again. He will not force him to let Lan Wangji patch him up, but his heart would be eased and honored if the other let him. 

   “Even nothings require some treatment, Wei Ying.”

[hetaoren]

@ghcstchild sent: Eyes hollow, dark as he looks up at his executioner – Wei Wuxian is kneeling down on a bamboo mat, pale as a statue and just as immobile, not much more than a corpse raised from the barren grounds of his last destroyed sanctuary. To be cleansed is a dance with death. Maybe he should've told Lan Zhan the truth. Maybe he should've considered the pain it would bring, the blood staining Gusu Lan's pristine whites. The thought of it is almost amusing, the terrible Yiling Laozu bleeding on this azure rug, they'll never wash it off. He'll take something clean and pure down with him, like he did so many things, before. There are worse ways to die. ❝ Get on with it then, ❞ is the first thing he speaks after a few long minutes of silence.

Lan Qiren isn't sure how he feels about it. The Yiling Laozu had done atrocities and should pay for his crimes, yet, he had come willingly with Wangji and the Lans, agreed to get cleansed. It's not an easy process and it requires the two of them to be alone, even if his nephew is right outside. If that's out of fear that his uncle will kill Wei Wuxian or out of worry for his uncle, he doesn't know.

The older man looks at the worn, sick-looking, appearance in front of him, ignoring the singe of pain he feels while doing so. Wei Wuxian choose his path, an unfortunate one he had warned about, but the younger man had not listened, like always. It's a pity, considering how intelligent he is and how much skill he possess. A true loss for the cultivation world.

Cleansing him will not be easy. It will take multiple and long sessions, taking a toll on them both, but if he can be cleansed, perhaps his addled mind might get lighter. Or so Lan Qiren hopes, not that he has voiced those thoughts. If the man survives, he already looks half dead and Qiren almost wants to feed him first, but knows that would just make things worse since the cleansing will most likely expel anything in his stomach.

"There is no need to rush, Wei Wuxian," Lan Qiren replies when the younger man tries to hurry him. "This will take time." With those words, the elder Lan waves his hand and an array appears underneath his... patient, then he takes a seat by his own guqin and starts playing a song very few knows, not the regular Cleansing, but something even stronger, something he wouldn't let his nephews play out of danger to the player themselves. However, he only plays a few notes before stopping, frown deepening. With quick, swift motions, he's by Wei Wuxian's side, grabbing his wrist. The cool spiritual energy of the Lans flows through the younger man, searching, poking. Resentful energy clinging to it like black phlegm, but no matter how hard Lan Qiren pierces through it, through Wei Wuxian, he cannot find what he seeks. Retreating, complexion a shade paler, staring at him with horror visible in his eyes. "You have no golden core." Last time Lan Qiren had sensed Wei Wuxian's golden core, it had been a strong one, filled with powerful spiritual energy, but now... now there was only a void. It made him feel sick and it only had one explanation: Wen Zhuliu.

Suddenly, the use of demonic cultivation made a little more sense to him, and he also felt more determined to help him, for reasons he didn't fully comprehend himself. "How would you feel about getting a new one?" There would be demands and it would be dangerous. Very dangerous, for both of them, but he could do it.

[cuckoo-among-beasts]

... okay.

"Ah, Wei-xiong, if you ever grow tired of Hanguang-jun, maybe we should try our luck?" Huaisang replies teasingly, having no romantic interest at all in his friend.

[dreams-of-fate]

@ghcstchild said: 🐱 but kinda in a good way yk

😭 what does moderately intimidating in a kinda good way mean

[cuckoo-among-beasts-a]

wwx is courting death || @ghcstchild In one swift, masterfully timed movement Wei Wuxian swaps the cups on the table, leaving his uncle in law with wine instead of water.

One look away was all it took for Wei Wuxian to be able to switch his cup, something Lan Qiren never thought he'd do. He should've noticed, should've smelled the wine, which he does, but by then it is too late and he has already swallowed the wine.

Immediately, a blush spreads across his nose and cheeks, a glassy look appearing in his eyes. For a moment, it seems like he will just pass out, then he starts singing. Which isn't technically a problem, Lan Qiren has an excellent singing voice, he used to sing for his nephews when they went to bed as young children. No, the problem is the fact that he now stands up and starts dancing. What might be even more surprising is that he's good at it, despite his very drunken state, he moves fluidly, gracefully. Moving like a true Lan.

[s4ray]

close enough.

 ❛ you won't wipe the blood off my face ? why not ? you broke my heart . do you wanna kiss ? ❜

are you xue yang's type ?

[2heir]

❛ i had it under control. you didn’t need to do that. ❜

 lan wangji doesn't play heroes , doesn't interfere in the matters of a warrior who knows what he's doing — and wei wuxian isn't categorized anywhere under that title . not after his unfortunate disappearance , something even wangji refused to ask about because a part of him didn't want to know what dulled the sunlight in wei ying’s eyes . . . and he has pretty eyes . wangji thinks , silently in his solitude . saving each other wasn't a problem back then , it came naturally , the other never complained about it either but now wei ying stands above the fire that cackles in the darkness of the woods and glares down at him . for killing the puppet he was controlling with his flute . . . for saving him because the puppet looked more eager to hit wei ying than their opponents . other clan leaders are asleep , wangji believes he's waited for wei ying to come back from his nightly stroll around the woods . he looked drunk , he didn't have the preciseness that he often had in his strides ; wangji doesn't look at him again . busies himself with the sword laid across his lap , clean , a pale rag gently wiping away the red stains from steel . ❛ you didn't . ❜  a simple answer . and that's all wei ying gets , after that comes silence . he hopes wei ying goes back to his tent . ❛ rest . ❜

[archivedsizhui]

❛  if you fall, i will catch you.  ❜ <3

The smile that he flashed him was bright as the stars above and he dipped his head. "I know, I always feel safest when I am with you and Hanguang-Jun." he confessed to him. Sizhui, had been in a bad situation in Coffin Town and even with the looming threat, he had felt safe because he knew--he _knew_ that Wei Wuxian would be fine and he would protect himself and the other juniors.

Needless, to say, Sizhui would be completely comfortable and happy in his care. "I have no doubts, but I have never tried--to fly without my blade." he said glancing up at the roofs. "I know it can be done with the proper application of core energies--I have read all the manuals--twice." he laughed slightly embarrassed by his admittance. He did not feel he needed to save face. Or appear flawless as he did when he was away from Gusu. "Do you think I can do it ?" he asked "I have been honing my cultivation and they have grown considerably but--" he smiled again. "I don't want to get an ego or be too proud." he said glancing up at the roof of the Jiangshi. He was used to having his blade at hand so it was definitely a peep talk the head disciple needed. He looked around and the smile turned slightly mischievous as he leaned in speaking to his father in a hushed tone. "Can baba do it ?" he whispered "Can he fly without his sword?" Sizhui knew that Lan Wangji was the best of his generation there could be no doubt. Though Wei Wuxian was absolutely brilliant and the juniors had been taught to use his devices. Sizhui knew this first hand.

@ghcstchild

[youthslost]

@ghcstchild: The sight quickly turns from gut-churning to visceral the longer his eyes linger upon the raw pulp that once was a flawless stretch of skin. It makes his own skin crawl, the familiarity of this burning — but no matter how often the whip would land on his own back, it wasn’t like this. Never like this. He peels away the bandages and it makes him want to scream. Drive his teeth into the clenched fist to muffle the howl of a wounded animal, resentment swirling at his fingertips. The Yiling Laozu, bound and declawed not by a spell or a set of shackles but by this — the mighty Hanguang-jun’s bitter downfall. How fitting then. He’s never felt so small, so fragile. Draped into the whites of Gusu Lan as if it, too, could offer some kind of salvation. ❝ Lan Zhan, ❞ he bristles, then, and his voice is hoarse, and his eyes are dry. He wants to take it away. He wants to press his lips into the redness of fiery skin and beg, beg, beg. ❝ It’s not fucking fair. ❞

it was never his intention for wei ying to see him like this. but he had wanted to check on him, and he thought maybe he could hide it.

— foolish.

this is nothing like the broken leg in his youth. it is not something he can grind his teeth and bare. it was obvious the moment he entered the room, movements stilted and far too cautious. he hadn't the energy to fight back when wei ying insisted. he simply sat, trembling from the pain and the cold, and let the other have his way with him.

his back is on fire, torn to ribbons and screaming even more as the bandages are peeled away, taking shreds of skin with them. he cannot help the pained noises that escape his lips. but even still, he tries to reassure the other man.

“ what is done is done. ” he speaks through gritted teeth, fists clenched at his sides. though especially brutal, he understands. they do not want another like his father on their hands.

how ironic it is, then, that he is harbouring the other half of his soul in his rooms like this. but he is not like his father — and perhaps that is even worse.

“ wounds heal, wei ying. ” as long as you are here, it is all worth it, even if they do not. a shaky hand reaches back, ignoring the ripping sensation he feels in his shoulders as he searches for one of wei ying's hands. with their hands connected, he gives a squeeze. “ do not blame yourself. ”

[guqinstrings]

-ˋˏ🌥 ┈┈ @ghcstchild inquired ; ❝ i think you're probably the only one who understands me. ❞

   THE THING IS, Lan Wangji doesn’t think anyone understands Wei Wuxian–and that includes him. Even now, when he thinks back to everything that happened, to the years spent chasing after the other as Wei Wuxian donned the sobriquet Yiling Laozu, he still doesn’t know entirely what happened. No, perhaps that wasn’t the way that he should word it, Lan Wangji could retell the entire story and how it happened, what it was more the mental aspect and what Wei Wuxian was hoping to accomplish that he didn’t understand. However, it was more than that too. 

   When he received his whipping for protecting the other, his brother had asked him why he defended Wei Wuxian. His answer at that point is still the same one that he would have for Lan Xichen when he was pressed again. Although he doesn’t know if what Wei Wuxian did was right or wrong, he was and still would be willing to bear the consequences of it with him. To this day, he still doesn’t have that answer. Was what he chose to do, the person he decided to become, right or wrong? Did it make Wei Wuxian good or evil? 

   Would he have eventually lost control? 

   No one has those answers, just as no one can understand Wei Wuxian’s head, the things he thinks and the way he chooses to act. What Lan Wangji believes he understands and what he chooses to have faith in, is the other’s character. The state of his heart. The path he believes Wei Wuxian wants to walk. That single plank bridge into the dark. 

   The Jingshi is a bit warm today, the scent of sandalwood drifting through it as he carefully plucks at Wangji’s strings. Clarity which he had been playing had started to divert into the sound of Wangxian, the composed piece carefully written for the man seated across from him now filling the room with its notes as if echoing his wandering thoughts. His gaze briefly flicks up toward the other, glancing at the man seated across from him before his bright eyes fall back down toward the spiritual instrument on the table. 

   “I believe in you.” Is the quiet response the other gets, his voice gentle as it speaks. There’s a pause after, as his fingers continue to move along the strings and then just as equally soft he speaks again. “That is not the same thing as understanding you.” Was that not the sort of response that Wei Wuxian was thinking or rather hoping he would get? Perhaps. But Lan Wangji would never lie, and to some extent he wonders if that was better. 

   At this point in his life, in either of the lives that he has lived, the list of people that would actually be willing to believe in Wei Wuxian is very limited. Perhaps just Lan Wangji, Lan Sizhui and Wen Ning at this point. There are those who believe in the Yiling Laozu, who chase the path of demonic cultivation, but that was far more different than believing in Wei Wuxian. In the person that was right in front of him. In the man that had chosen that path because he felt he had no other choice or way to protect the people that mattered to him. 

   All of that aside though, until the end of his days, Lan Wangji would believe in Wei Wuxian. 

[hetaoren]

cont. from [x] with @ghcstchild

It is not often Lan Qiren becomes speechless. His silences are always by choice. However, Wei Wuxian succeeds in robbing him of words when he tells him that he gave away his golden core. That is a sacrifice so grand it is incomprehensible. It is unheard of. For a moment, the older man just look at him, unable to fully hide his shock. It doesn't take a genius to know who he gave the core to either. "You gave your golden core to Jiang Wanyin." It is not a question, but a statement. "That is... the most selfless sacrifice I have heard of, Wei Wuxian." There's something new in his voice, a sort of admiration almost. "Few, if any, would do such a sacrifice." Shamefully, he wasn't certain he would give his core to either of his nephews if they lost theirs. A life without a golden core, no, he doesn't think he could handle that.

"It will," he admits. "Not more than I can pay." Which is also true. It might take some years, but eventually, his core would regain its strength again. Qiren sighs. "I will not force you to go through with the ritual, but it is not a sacrifice, it is a gift. A gift I will willingly bestow you. A gift I can pay," he points out once again. Though, the cleansing first.

"Before I start cleansing you, you need to get in better health. You need a few days of rest and food. I will make sure you can have a bath too and some clean robes." It will be Lan robes, but that is unnecessary to say. He is in Cloud Recesses, what other robes would there be to give him? "You can talk with Wangji too," he then add, not sounding too happy about it, but he would let the two meet since he doubted he could keep them apart anyway.

[cuckoo-among-beasts]

@ghcstchild sent an instagram aesthetic: 🤳 + 4 (relaxation methods) & 20 (emotions)

[dreams-of-fate]

@ghcstchild said: ❛ fuck you’re cute. ❜ (for l.wj)

The light in his eyes matched his widening smile. Only Wei.Wuxian would find a smudge of dirt on his face cute while they're in the midst of checking on the rabbits, maybe he needed to get smudged up with dirt more often in his presence to hear those words in this specific tone.

"Ah. Is this coming from the master of cuteness?" Lan.Wangji moved in a little closer.

[cuckoo-among-beasts-a]

☁️ CLOUD — my muse's past (for LQR)

moodboard & aesthetic meme || @ghcstchild

Lan Qiren's Past

His past also happens to be pretty much his present as well. Poor man.

[tiianwens]

❝ it wasn't that he didn't care for those around him, only that he did it quietly. such solitude, day after day, without anyone to see or notice, was also a kind of torment. ❞

ind. mutuals only Chu Wanning of 'the husky and his white cat shizun / 2ha', adored by lana. sideblog to ghcstchild.