#god I hate Metro's model

[soymilkspiders]

I posted this to twitter and forgot to post it here fuckin shit

[geesenoises]

i was tagged in a different (shorter) version of this awhile ago and i had it all answered and then accidentally backed out of it just as i was about to post 🙃 so this time i did it in google docs. thank you @saintgarbanzo for tagging me! deepest apologies to everyone for how long this is. i tend to go on.

relationship status single, but also i take my marriage to @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm very seriously.

favorite food dim sum. shrimp rice rolls drowned in sweet dim sum soy sauce foreverrrrr.

favorite color green, pink. i think i’m really just a very saturated color person. neons. jewel tones. love them.

song stuck in your head for reasons unknown - the killers. they bring fans up on stage to play the drums with them when they play it on tour and i watched so many of them last night. my favorites are kyle, from their scotland show (which @wolfpants will probably appreciate) and katie from manchester (brandon calls her casey, but there was a fairly credible article that identified her). but there are so many and you should look them all up!! i clap and cheer at the end of every single one.

last thing you googled "how much is a steinway” i cannot play piano, nor do i want one. i just couldn’t remember if they’re in the $50k or $100k range (probably could get an old used one for $50k if you looked, but starting around $70k depending on model. and the sky’s the limit.)

time 8:13pm

dream trip a trip that literally will only exist in my dreams is one i was supposed to take before the panini ruined everything. visiting my brother in japan. i would stop in singapore for a week first, and then go visit him and we’d maybe go on a road trip together. he’s moving back here in the spring, so it can’t happen, but i did get to see him and take a mini american road trip so thats okay. other places: italy, hong kong, taiwan, various american roadtrips, a house in the country or next to lake with all the people i love most in the world.

last book you read uhhhh this is very embarrassing. i have not read a complete book in the longest time. but the last book i started is george saunder’s A Swim in a Pond in the Rain

last book you enjoyed i was enjoying the saunders book. brain just does not cooperate.

last book you hated reading i’d have to have read something to hate it

favorite thing to cook/bake either things that are low effort, high reward (my favorite brownie recipe), or things that are high effort to make, which makes it very expensive to buy or source, so i must supply it for myself. the pinnacle of this for me are canneles. my favorite pastry ever, especially fresh. i think i will go make myself some chocolate cake now tho.

favorite craft to do i’ve been very into knitting since i started last year. so far i’ve completed: a scarf for myself, a hat and scarf for my friends’ toddler, a shawl for my mom, a hat for me. working on: a shawl for me, a sweater for me, a cowl for a friend. 

most niche dislikes the phrase “have a good one” feels too vague for me. though i’ve mellowed on it somewhat over the years. i hate bell peppers. i think they ruin anything they’re in. traffic lights on roads where the speed limit is 40+ mph. (which is like in many places in the US, but god, it’s horrible trying to stop in the right time/place for the red at that speed without slamming the brakes.)

opinion on circuses i don’t know enough about present day circuses to have an opinion, tbh. might have to go change the “last thing you googled” answer shortly.

Do you have a sense of direction and if not what’s the worst way you’ve gotten lost? i think i do! i don’t think i’ve ever gotten lost real bad, but i’ve been unable to find something and had to wander. i was in shanghai for an overnight layover and made the mistake of leaving the airport without getting cash. you couldn’t buy metro tickets without cash and we needed to get to our hotel. it was about 9pm. i wandered around the airport train station looking for an atm google maps was telling me was nearby while my dad waited with our luggage. couldn’t find it. had to find the nearest bank. jammed my card in the wrong slot and almost lost it inside the machine. a pair of nail clippers in my backpack saved me. i managed to use them like tweezers to pull the card out. finally got money. but on top of that, uh, let’s say the airplane food was not agreeing with me. so. it was a difficult hour for me. i never travel without nail clippers now.

last show you watched gamechanger, a game show where the game changes every time. it’s on dropout.tv and you should look up clips on youtube if you need a laugh.

currently watching nothing, but probably the sandman is next on my list.

currently reading nothing omg. i’m even between fics.

current obsessions welcome to mountport. eva noblezada. my backyard stray cat. finishing my ex-wireless fic. trying to figure out the ideal shampoo/conditioner situation for my head. this drarry fic that's a wip. every thing i talked about above. you know, normal things.

i'm just tagging people for attention. let's be transparent about this. do it if you feel like it!! @makeitp1nk @phoebe-delia @basicallyahedgehog @sorrybutblog @m0srael @cavendishbutterfly @corvuscrowned (who i know is away but 🤷🏻‍♀️)

[melonsuhda]

NOW PLAYING: Harry’s House

First of the NOW PLAYING series by melonsuhda Summary: Art director Y/N gets to work with a gorgeous photographer named Johnny.

The spins and turn of events between them is inspired from the lyrics of Harry Styles’ third album, Harry’s House, from which lyrics you can find below italicized in bold. I do not claim the following texts to be of my own writing so I marked them specifically for this reason. Pairing: Johnny x Reader, Kun x Reader Characters: NCT Johnny, Reader, NCT Jaehyun, RV Yeri (Katy), Stephanie (SNSD Tiffany), NCT Mark, NCT Jisung (Andy), RV Irene, RV Wendy, WAYV Kun

Genre: Alternate Universe. Slice of Life. Professional Work Life. Adult Romance. Fluff. Slight Angst (?) Smut.

Warning: Strictly for adult consumption. Minors scroll past please. Contains graphic descriptions and expletives, which others might possibly find offensive. Read at your own risk.                 

Notes: This is my first AU so I might consider doing minor edits in the future, including tags, better warnings, the works. Enjoy! And I may have dropped a hint of what album my next story will be inspired of ;)

1. The needle of the record player screeched into a static for a while, and then grooved smoothly playing music. Night time. Rainstorm heavily hitting the glass window. In the midst of the bustle of the city where you live, in the heart of the metro, you enjoy the lone quiet nights in your studio apartment. A cozy Friday night with lights dim low. A kettle in the kitchen starts whistling for your tea.

Except…you’re not a tea drinker. And you are not alone. Sprawled in the sofa you just bought from IKEA a week ago, your back grates roughly against the fabric. A strange man cozies up above you. It’s too dark to recognize his face. He smells like tobacco, tea and jasmine, very sexy. His big hands are entangled in yours against the couch, squeezing it a little too hard as his lips trace your jaw. Maybe you’re liking where this is going, except that you couldn’t quite figure out who this man is. The last time you blacked out drunk was way back your college days, and you haven’t slept your way around? He was nibbling your neck now when you clumsily reached for the light switch of the lamp above you to get a look on his face—

—when your alarm goes off. God how you hate that iPhone alarm so much, even so when your phone screen says that it’s 9:00 AM on a Saturday and the alarm has been ringing since an hour ago alongside missed calls from Stephanie, your brand manager.

Shit. You’re late for the Saturday shoot!

“Fuck! Fuck!” You jolted out of bed and haphazardly prepared to leave in five…ten?! minutes for work. Call time is at 9. Steph’s in the location now, and calling you again.

You swung open the shower curtains after a few seconds to pick the call up. “Y/N. Where are you darling?”

“Hi. Small problem…I just got a ride, I’m sorry, nobody has been picking up my booking since 8:30!” You walked towards the window to pick up some external sounds, hoping she doesn’t notice that you’re nowhere near inside a car.

“The model’s here. And the photographer just started setting up. Hurry!”

“On my way. Do we have coffee?”

“Ordered for you. Latte with non-fat milk? See you!”

Just as you hang up, you hit your toe on the side table as you were putting on your black trousers. It was so painful that you kicked the table accidentally and the bulbless IKEA lamp on it fell with you. A great way to start your day. 

“Good-fucking-morning.”

Beside the table is a wide space you intended for a sofa that you have yet to get on your next paycheck. The lamp was the only thing you could afford then and you even forgot the bulbs that come with it. The sofa was so real in your dream—and even breaking it in with a stranger. Embarrassing. Even you are embarrassed with yourself. Maybe it’s time to dust off the cobwebs after five years of not dating. Wet dreams are kind of lonely at 27.

Your phone lit up again. A text message from Steph.

“The new studio is a bit farther than our last one :(“ She sent a map link. 

You sigh as you wear a black knit sleeveless top, clumsily put on socks and your white work sneakers before heading out. 

2. You flicked an eyeliner wing on your right eye just before the driver speeds up again as the traffic light turns green. You hope you looked decent today, given you’re meeting fellow professionals in the field. As an art director, you tell everyone what to do on set, and to nudge a bit of seniority, you have to look the part. Who would want to listen to someone who only took half a bath this morning? Disgusting.

“Wait, WHO are you getting intimate with?” A text message from Katy, your former business partner and friend. After a failed online fashion business five years ago, you remained friends buried in surplus stocks and dirty secrets. Yes, even the pathetic ones.

Bouncing a blush tint on your cheeks, you texted a reply. “No idea. I woke up when I was about to look at his face.”

Your phone lit up again. “Y/N, idk, maybe it’s time to get laid or something.” 

“Wow, you didn't need to remind me that. Catch you later, I have work :*” 

5 minutes away from the new studio after a swipe of peach-pink lipstick. A spritz of your signature perfume finishes your look—iris floral, powdery and aromatic. This routine sets you into “director mode”. You put a bit of hand cream for handshakes, and set your hair tangle-free on a sleek bun. You’re ready to work. The driver arrived at the studio compound, a vast complex of studio rooms with a common area on the first floor, and you ran out as soon as you could to look for the room for today’s shoot. 

“Studio 127 is it?” You asked yourself as you stopped at the studio door named Studio 127 to check Steph’s text message earlier. The door suddenly opened.

“Good morning!”

A tall figure looms from the door. Dressed in a crisp gray shirt, the first three buttons undone revealing his white undershirt inside. His dark washed jeans go for miles with his impossibly long legs. He greeted you with a knowing & sly smile, the corners of his lips curving upward as his cheeks pushed the comma of a strand of hair falling from his brushed up bob. What a beautiful man. You probably were out of it for a bit.

“Y/N? Right?”

You tried to open your mouth to reply, but barely anything came out.

“Hi! Uh…yeah?”

“Miss Stephanie is waiting for you inside.” He did that little smile again, almost mischievous. His nose scrunching up a little as he motioned inside the room before he headed out of the door.

What in the world? That was gorgeous. Confused and overwhelmed, you went inside and found Steph, tending to emails on her laptop. You approached her quietly and apologized.

“Steph, sorry I’m late.”

“No worries darling. We are just about to start. Check if the set is okay?” She hands you your latte and goes back to her emails.

You head over to the tables with props for the day after setting your bags down. A selection of flowers, fruit slices, and leaves. You’re directing materials for a skin care brand today—something fresh and bubbly. The model’s having her make-up done. And the backdrop and lights are all on stand by. Just as much as you love to catch your Saturday sleep in your apartment right now, you equally love playing at work. You make beautiful images, the possibilities are endless.

“After make-up, we can start right away. Will shoot the model first and the flatlays later.” Steph creeped on your side, probably done with half of her emails. 

“Sounds good to me.” You quickly scanned the studio. There was only Stephanie, the model and make up artist, and two guys prepping up reflectors and extra lights. “Where is the photographer though?” 

You turned your back to get your files when you bumped from a towering figure and almost fell. Something, someone, caught you on your back to stable you. To your surprise, it's the gray shirt, dark-washed jeans, long legs, slicked back hair-guy. From the door way earlier. 

“Oh there he is. John, this is Y/N. Our art director for today. Y/N, John, our photographer.” 

The tall guy gestured his hand for a handshake after Steph introduced you to each other. “Careful,” he said, as he slowly let go of your back, “and you can just call me Johnny.” He smiled, nose scrunching, smile reaching his eyes, hand still waiting for a handshake.

You swear that moment you might have seen a light coming from the sky and hear the choir angels sing. 

3. The assistant photographer, whom Johnny called Mark, accidentally switched the lights that blinded you crazy. Johnny motioned for them to readjust it as he went back to you to finish the awkward hand shake.

You shook his hand firmly. “Y/N. This is a nice studio” 

You could tell your dating game is rusting when all you could say to a handsome stranger is “This is nice studio.” No salt. No spice. Might as well say, and the weather is nice today.

“Oh thank you. It took a while.” He chuckled and humbly shrugged off his shoulders. He took his camera and prepped to start. “We should start in a while.” 

While waiting, you set up your things on the table overlooking the set where Steph is back again with her emails, fingers quick on keys after keys. It’s gonna be a long day. You took a sip of your latte and checked the photoshoot pegs on your tablet, looking forward to a drink tonight with Katy. You sure hope that this handsome photographer is as good as how he looks, checking his visuals again in disbelief.

He turned around and is heading to your table now, shit. Can he read minds?

Johnny approaches and leans towards you on the table. “We’re testing the lights, mind if you can sit in for us for a while?”

Sigh. Can’t he just let this Mark kid sit in for the light test? What’s taking for this makeup artist to finish so long anyway?! You would be so much happier with your coffee and emails but there’s something in his eyes that urges you to say yes.

“Oh. Okay.”

Didn’t even take him to ask twice. Y/N Weak-for-Attractive-Strangers Era.

You went straight in the middle of the set, an obnoxious Barbie pink backdrop, and sat on the stool in the middle. Your sharp black outfit is a striking contrast against the bubbly set of the teenage skin care brand. Johnny counted to three in every light adjustment and camera click. The lights make your face hot and you can hardly see anything. You were surprised to see the tall photographer looming over you again amidst the blinding lights and hunches over you.

“Just relax okay?” he chuckles coolly and adjusts a light on your side. You’re embarrassingly extra awkward in front of attractive people, at 27. He was about to go back to his position when he stopped across you and lowered towards you again, raising his hand over your face to fix a stray hair scuffling out of your sleek bun.

Closer, you could see a better picture of his handsomeness. The bright lights bring out his pool of honey brown eyes that look deeper when focusing, his jawline runs a perfect line. His nose flared up a little, giving an edgy touch despite his sunny smile. His shoulders are squared and broad, and his cuffed shirt sleeves show his toned up arms. Holding the camera makes him 10x more attractive, handling the gears and all, and it’s crazy. He smells good too, a perfume you are particularly fond of, like—tobacco, tea and…jasmine. 

Yup. Something as familiar as the scent of the stranger from your dream. The thought makes you start to sweat nervously.

“We’re ready!” the make up artist signals as you broke out of your trance. Johnny took his test shots, and looks happy with his set up. He lets you check if the test shots are well and you proceed to direct the shoot as soon as you give it a go.

——

“8 at the pub near your place!” Katy’s text message reads, as you put away discarded lemon slices from a flatlay. You love shooting stuff like these but the amount of garbage to put away is exhausting. Piles of wet backdrops are all over the place, from a series of product shots sprayed with droplets of water for that “fresh look”. You’re very much looking forward to a drink with Katy later when you get home.

“Need help with that?” Johnny approaches as you bunched up wet colored papers to put in the garbage bag. You urged him to go ahead. Now that he’s inches from you again, you remember how good-looking he is. You hope you’re not too obvious catching second looks at him throughout the day. He’s just so gorgeous.

The two of you discussed the shoot, output files, some minor corrections you needed, the works—while bagging wet backdrops and browning flowers. You close the last of the garbage bags and hand them to Johnny to bring it outside.

Your stomach is grumbling. Dinner and drinks with Katy sounds really good right now.

“Say, do you mind going for dinner after? It’s been a long day of work.” 

You are famished. But, suddenly? Although, you wouldn’t want to say no, for sure you’re working with them again in the future. Also no, especially not to a new supplier—with beautiful honey-glazed eyes.

“Sure. I guess Steph and I will wait for you guys downstairs.”

“Yeah. Let me lock the studio up and get the car.”

You were motioning to get your stuff when suddenly,

“Oh, and by the way, Steph headed out already and my assistants wanted to call it a night. So it’s just us two, if you don’t mind?”

4. “…if you don’t mind?”

Absolutely NOT, no—you do not mind being with a handsome acquaintance, but also, where the heck did Steph go without saying a word. Not to mention you were supposed to meet Katy. Better tell her now.

“Couldn’t make it tonight, sorry :(“

“NOOOOO. Why???” “You’ll understand me if you were in my shoes ;)”

You locked your phone with a smile. Katy would be dying to know what is up. At the same time, you received a text from Steph: “Sorry I have to run dear. Mommy duties.”

Putting your phone on your bag, a black SUV car pulled over the compound lobby. The passenger window pulled down and Johnny’s handsome face peeked out the window as he urged you to come in.

You settled on the passenger seat, trying to be your best normal self. You’re a confident woman—just not brazen enough—but definitely not the one to coyly act like a thirteen year old girl. It’s just that you’ve never been beside such a gorgeous man before and you quit on dating after a really bad breakup. Perhaps, you’ve also grown accustomed to the fact that men this good-looking pass you by—the football team star from your high school corridors, the president of your college org, the dream boy endorser from your photo shoots—you’ve never given them much thought because they simply do not catch your wave. So this is an uncharted territory. It’s embarrassing that you have to think of things like these in your late twenties.

“Does all-day breakfast sound good to you?” He asked, breaking the monotony of the sound of the car engine.

“How nice of you, I haven’t broken the fast yet!” You exclaimed, sarcastically, pointing out you being late earlier as your eyes narrowed playfully at him.

Johnny let out a throaty laugh, “That’s what you get for being late!”

That made the atmosphere less awkward. It seemed that his place in mind is a long drive, as Johnny put on some music from his phone. Late Night Talking by Harry Styles starts playing on the speakers.

No shit. Harry Styles is your jam. “Best album of 2022, in my opinion.” You proudly exclaimed. As a Harry Styles fangirl.

“Up for debate, but, taste.” His eyebrows arched in agreement.

The drive wasn’t as awkward as you expected it to be. Perhaps Johnny is a natural people-person—his forwardness balances out your stiff, introverted self. You don’t like talking that much, but you love conversations. Like this one you are having now, over chocolate-chip pancakes, sunny side up and sausages.

“I mean, at the end of the day, my goal is always to be happy.” He explained, maybe a bit too seriously as he rested his forearm on the table.

You just noticed a delicate sunflower tattoo etched on his fair skin. You didn’t expect him to go deep on your first proper conversation but you’re not complaining. You found out he doesn’t like complicating things. Life is simple and people just complicate it, he explains, his honey-brown eyes, decisive and deep into the conversation.

He pours creamer over your coffee with the sunflowered arm. You beg to disagree. “But don’t you think things aren’t always black and white?” He handed you a teaspoon as he pondered on a thought.

“Under certain circumstances, yes, but even if you drive mindlessly, don’t you always arrive at a destination?”

You jokingly heaved a heavy sigh and both of you bursted into laughter.

——

If I was a bluebird, I would fly to you You'd be the spoon Dip you in honey so I could be sticking to you.

“Still the best album of 2022, so far.” You scrunch your nose to Johnny, Daylight playing on the same album, as he pulls over at the lobby of your apartment building. 

Johnny scrunches his nose back “Good night, Y/N.” He bid as he smiled softly.

“Will let you know when I’m having the files sent to your office next week.” He added before you hop out of his car.

“Thanks Johnny.” You nodded and flashed him a smile before you hopped out of his car and he drove past the lobby driveway.

You were too preoccupied to notice that your soles are throbbing now in every step even in your work sneakers after a long Saturday work day. You dragged yourself out of the elevator, into your apartment and into a well-deserved hot shower to end the long work week.

5.  9:00 AM. Monday. Latte on your hand and face to face with your work station—which you did not miss. You just plopped in your chair in your cubicle when an equally not-able-to-Monday face appeared above you from the cubicle across. “What the fuck is a ‘millenial-core’???”

Jae, your best friend, sighed so impossibly like it’s the middle of the week. On one hand is a crumpled print-out of a job order. 

“Well, good morning Jae.” You handed him your latte. He’ll be needing it.

“Y/N, I thought we’ve seen the last of ‘millenials’ and ‘start-up cores’ in every client-briefing but they’re just evolving. They’re like Pokémons. Fucking fascinating.” Jae’s face disappeared from the divider between you two as he sips his second-hand latte. 

You laughed at his high-strung disposition. Some days, you two just switch places. Jae is like a male version of you. Stiff, sharp on the edges and is incredibly tired of work. You build walls around yourselves. It makes life and your job easier. You met five years ago in this office and people are convinced you’re twins separated at birth. Your friendship is cemented by sleepless nights, anger issues and crumpled job orders. 

“Same shit, different day Jae.” You quipped as you turned on your computer when your phone chimes. A text from Stephanie. “Darling, I’m out of a client meeting, could you kindly receive the files from last Saturday? Johnny’s assistant is sending them later today. Gave him your contact details. “Yup! No worries Steph.” You texted back as you plopped in your chair, breathing deeply as you went through the day’s tasks. —— There’s not much work for the week so you dressed prettily—beige linen square neck top and pants coords, pointed high heel slip-ons, hair tied in a loose bun. You plan to clock-out at exactly 5 to meet Katy for her gown fitting, before any last minute emails reach your inbox. Heading out, you skipped your steps out the elevator, onto Steph’s little errand and to get yourself a cup of coffee for an afternoon picker-upper. 

You arrived at the office building lobby scanning the area to meet the studio assistant who will hand you the files from the photoshoot when you sighted a tall figure busy on his phone. Black crew neck t-shirt tucked in his classic blue jeans. One watched hand, resting on his pocket. You know exactly who by the looks of those mile long legs—your heart doing somersaults like you just downed espresso shots. He lifted his gaze and his face lit up the moment your heels tapped closer to his direction.

He flashes you his signature sly smile as he meets you mid-walk. “Delivery for Y/N.” 

“I thought I’m meeting your assistant!” You smiled coyly as you remember how hard you’re crushing on him last weekend. Still so gorgeous. Since you’re in such a good mood today, maybe flirting a little wouldn’t hurt.

“I am supposed to be in this area today so I thought I’d bring it myself.” He handed you the hard drive. Beaming still, his hooded brown eyes were on you as you tried to act coy—turning your head into a certain angle like this or was it supposed to be the other way? No. Okay, stop. You look like you have an impending stiff neck.

“Are you alright?” He closed in on you, looking a little concerned—his eyebrows furrowing below the stray strand of his brushed-up hair. You were trying your charms on him and he thought you’re not feeling well. What charms exactly are we referring to? This is embarrassing.

“Yeah. I just needed to stretch.” You blurted out, hand on your neck heaving a sigh—maybe too much for someone fake hitting the keyboard keys pretending to be working in front of her computer all day. You wanted to lure him to be the one stretching you but we are lacking ability at the ‘getting laid department’ so you just gave up.“Where are you headed now?”

He tensed a little after your failed stretching stint. “Ahhh I’m done now. Done. For the day. I’m just, uhmm.” He fumbled his words for a while. Why was he suddenly so perplexed?

“You’re…just?” You looked at him, eyes rounded and earnest, waiting for his reply. Unbelievable. This is starting to feel funny now. You were trying your best to control a giggle.

“Coffee. I’m just, getting coffee. After...” He vaguely pointed out of the door of the building lobby. “Do you want to get coffee with me?” He nonchalantly finished his struggle with words. Like nothing happened.

You let out a laugh at this confusing encounter. Or sexual tension. Or whatever you two have at this moment. But you’re already there and into it. “I thought you’ll never asked.”

6.  Probably your favorite part of your office’s commercial complex is the quaint café just outside your building—The Daily Grind. It doubles as a specialty shop of vinyl records, film cameras and other analog hobbies. Records both old and new play in rotation everyday. The hardwood and metal furnishings give it a classic, homey touch. Some days, you and Jae would get work down here when the office is too toxic. It has been a witness of both of your professional breakdowns and angst. Nothing that coffee and good music couldn’t take care of.

This afternoon, Harry’s House album is playing. The baristas acknowledge the presence of a Harry stan.

I've never been a fan of change But I'd follow you to any place If it's Hollywood or Bishopsgate I'm coming too 

“One iced americano and one iced cafe latte for John!” The barista, Wendy, yelled out, breaking your trance from browsing crates and crates of vinyl records. Your happy place.

The two of you settled on a small table by the cafe window, just beside a rackful of films. Johnny took a sip of his americano, eyes fixated on the racks.

“Do you shoot film?” you asked as you sipped your latte, taking in his beauty up close again, music on the background and sunlight glowing from the window on his back. He is truly a very fine specimen.

“Sometimes yes, on special occasions. But I’ve been too busy lately.” His eyes crinkled as he took a sip. The music swells all over the café. You caught a faint whiff of his perfume as you sat across from him. Over your little chit chat, you found out that he’s just started his studio three years ago after quitting on his five years of advertising stint, his portfolio consisting of both conceptual and portrait shoots and he’s fond of street photography too. Steph found him through referrals, as your agency will be needing new suppliers. He has been taking pictures since high school—a school paper photojournalist. What a cute dork.

“So…” he pursed his lips, eyeing you cunningly, like there’s an impending joke somewhere, “...you are this kind of girl huh?” he quipped as he looked around the café.

“And what exactly does ‘this kind of girl' mean?” You asked sharply, eyes narrowing on him.

He shrugged his shoulders as he answered “You know, full-time agency girl but 2009 Tumblr girl inside, old soul, loves records—maybe a little too much…”

“Reads Sylvia Plath,” you interrupted him mid-sentence, and continued “drowning in existentialism. Makes playlists like it’s her job and romanticizes every bit of her life.”

Johnny’s eyes widened and raised his hands like he’s under arrest. “Hey, you said it yourself, not me.”

That threw both of you into a fit of laughter—your cheeks started to hurt. Johnny’s phone rang and excused himself for a moment to answer it, while you took a sip of your coffee and noticed a ghost-like presence by the window.

It was Jae walking from outside of the café witnessing you acting cute and funny with a guy. Oh god, no.

He froze by the window and mouthed his words to you. “What. The. Fuck?” Eyes wide. Mouth as round as the letter “O”. 

You, equally surprised and caught off guard, mouthed back your reply. “No. Go away.” as subtle as you can, hoping Johnny did not notice.

Jae’s lips pursed together, trying to hold back his laughter. He grabbed his phone, fumbled a message and hit send as he entered the café, to your dismay.

Your phone lit up and saw the notification. “In office hours? Really???” Idiot. You eyed him as he passed by your table quietly while raising his eyebrows as he proceeded to the counter to order.

“Hi. I’m a desert, idiot.” You texted him swiftly.

And he replied right away, “Hello. And I’m reporting you to our human resources department. *kisses emoji*” You could feel your friend creeping from behind you now again, this jackass knows the right time to pull his tricks on you. Please can he just leave you alone.

The idiot, with iced coffee on his hand slowly walked towards the door, taking big, noisy sips as he eyes you and Johnny. He smiles deviously, trying to hold back his laughter as he exits the cafe. This made you hold back a laugh too, biting your cheek as Jae walks back to the office, disappearing from your view.

Johnny just finished his call and looked at you. You flashed him a smile. He smiled back. Why does he have to be this handsome?

“I’m gonna ask you something,” he rested his chin on his hands, his brown eyes gazing at you. God this is making you sweat nervously again.

“Yes?” you asked, taking the last sip of your latte.

He locked his eyes on you, decisive and sure. “Do you want to go on a date?” 7.  “So is it a date, date?” Katy asked as she struggled in a gown that looks like a wedding cake from the 90s.

“You think so?” You asked in confusion while sprawled lazily on the bridal shop sofa. You cringed at the sight of the kitschy gown.

“No, not this. Can I try that one?” Katy pointed the sales assistant to a beautiful off-white organza gown with a v-neckline and flowy skirt. “You know you gotta stop with the self-love shit you’ve been doing for the past five years now, you’re growing cobwebs down under there. Stop being in denial.”

“I’m trying, okay? I like him a lot. It’s just, I have never been asked to go out with someone for a long time. So I was kind of caught off guard.” You were so into him until the moment he offered you to come to that art exhibit, now you’re just not sure.

“Your dating game is seriously rusty as fuck.” Katy muttered as she tried on the second dress. “What’s the problem? You were dazzled a week ago. He’s gorgeous, is making a living, seems interested in asking you for a coffee AND dinner—which you bailed me at, by the way. I think it's a date, DATE. And I think you should go!” she squeezed in on the organza dress and checked herself on the mirror.

“What if he’s just, you know, trying to make connections?” You asked as a matter of factly. Katy sighed heavily at you, fumbling the sleeves of the dress. You pointed at the dress she’s wearing. “That’s not it. Maybe the bridesmaid better wear it.”

“Maybe something this light but with a longer trail?” She squeezed out of the second dress again, rummaging on racks of white dresses. “Could be. Could be not. Y/N, you wouldn’t know why he invited you if you wouldn’t meet him and mingle, to see for yourself.”

Katy sounded serious now. You have never fully opened up yourself for someone since your last relationship. You broke down in front of her too many times because of your ex, she wished she saw the last of it. In her heart, she would love for you to find someone who will never let you go through the same misery again. And she was right that things are worth the try, and you would love to try. It’s just too many giving, too much asking for taking, and lots of losses when things don’t work out

“And for what it’s worth, you can just enjoy your little art exhibit thing, date or not.” Katy urged the sales assistant to zip her closed. She was right, again.

“Hand me that bridesmaid dress.” You extended your arms and opened your hand for the off-white organza gown your friend tried earlier. 

Katy hesitated, clad only with her girdle and underwear, she walked towards you and cupped your cheek, “Yours, but it comes as a set, ma’am. Only if you take it with a tall, gorgeous man.”

8. You and Johnny shared champagne glasses, laughs and a good time in every foyer of the art exhibit. It was a magnificent curation of botanical art both traditional and contemporary. You wish you had a photographic memory to capture all the beautiful work. You come across an oil painting of modern red poppies against an off-white field—that would look very pretty on the bare walls of your apartment. The red orange hue evokes so much energy and happiness. You check every new foyer of work skipping with so much delight, sometimes forgetting it’s a formal event. Your slip dress with a cowl neckline is the same color as champagne, hugging you in just the right places, falling just a few inches below your knee. You tied your loose curls together with a gold clip, strands falling along your cheeks. You finished your look with a pair of nude stilettos. Johnny looks nothing less fancy as well. He walks along the gallery floor in his rust-colored silk shirt tucked in this tailored black slacks. The sleeves of his shirt are a bit oversized, hanging loosely from his shoulders. He looks as smooth as a shot of whiskey, the soft fabric mirroring his every move. His hair sleekly brushed up like on your first meeting, a few strands falling down his face, of course. He looked magnificent as the artworks around you, sculpted by the gods.

People are discreetly throwing him second looks earlier when he passes by. “Y/N, here!” You heard Johnny and turned your back. His phone camera clicked as you turned around. He laughed at his candid creation. “Hey!” You reached out for his phone. He took a snapshot of you in front of a gold-colored sculpture of a rose in bloom standing in all its glory in the middle of the last foyer. As an art director, you hate uncurated photos of you. But Johnny won’t let you see his phone. “Hey!” he said playfully, trying to change the subject. “It feels stuffy in here, do you want to go to the studio for a little bite and a few drinks? I’ll order something, my treat!”

—— If the stars were edible And our hearts were never full Could we live with just a taste? Just a taste

Somehow, after all the champagne, you found yourself steadying on a stool placed in the middle of a black backdrop. The two of you decided to take a breather from the formal event and continue the drinks in his studio. Johnny was too enthusiastic to take photographs, tonight of all days.

“Alright, you ready?”

“Yeah, whatever Johnny, just,” You couldn’t think straight. Your champagne dress is all creased now. The gold clip barely holds your hair together. Nowhere near looking well at getting your photograph taken. But Johnny insists.

Johnny starts clicking away, as you candidly do random poses. Whatever feels natural, he says. He took a few more shots, sometimes letting out exaggerated praises a photographer would say—and it made you laugh. He took the iris flower you snitched from the exhibit centerpieces earlier and asked you to improvise with it. A few more clicks, and you rested the flower in between your nose and lips as you closed your eyes. The drinks are really starting to get on you too fast and the lights on your face start to get hotter than it is. The studio grew silent between you two. You open your eyes to see Johnny putting down his gear and walking towards you.

“Let me fix your hair.” Johnny walked towards you, trying to tuck the strands from your messy bun back. Perhaps he was a little bit too close, but you caught a whiff of his perfume again—tobacco,tea, and jasmine, and the scent fills you up. He caught your eyes, misty from all the drinking, but looking straight into his. You tensed, and maybe held the iris on your hands too tightly than you should, crushing the stem on your palm.

Johnny held your gaze, only the iris flower in between your faces. His eyes linger on your face as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. His hand gently travels on the crook of your neck. With unsure fingers hovering on your nape, he untied your hair, your dark brown locks falling down in waves.

Something in his gesture made you unclench the iris flower, the white blossoms falling on the ground. The air between you two fills with the scent of your perfume—iris, powdery and sensual. Eyes still locked with Johnny, you could see his gaze trail down your lips as his hands caressed your neck. His eyes tender, glimmers faintly as you hear each other’s breaths. He inches closer, careful but certain, and you stood up to meet his forwardness. You wrapped your hands on his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

His soft, warm lips sent you into a spiral. You laced your hands on his broad shoulders, and his hands, both of them now, clutched gently your neck. You were overwhelmed with desire, your fingers dug deep into the collars of his shirt, prying the buttons open. His silk sleeves slid off his left shoulder revealing a beautiful lavender tattoo on his left chest. 

His hands crawl at the curves of your waist, sliding through the silk fabric of your dress as he gently pulls you closer. They brought tingles in your spine. Chest to chest, he kisses with intent—taking quick pauses to gasp for air and takes you in again. You melted into him, you are crazy, crazy about this guy.

After a long breathless kiss, he pulls away from you, his soft eyes clear as day, as he says “Y/N, I—”

His phone buzzes from the table across the set. And it buzzed. And buzzed again. Johnny ignores it and leans towards you again to kiss, hands tensing on your neck. You would like to continue this respectfully but his phone won’t stop buzzing. You pulled away from his moist lips and smiled at him with hazy eyes “I think you better take that call, Johnny.” Johnny furrowed his brows and sighed, as he rested his forehead on yours for a while and eventually excused himself to take the call.

9. “Ouch!” you yelled to Jae, who was sprawled on your newly bought sofa—laptop resting on your coffee table. You picked up the bag of chips he threw towards you that landed straight to your head. “The heck is wrong with you!”

“I did not want to intrude on your sticky thoughts but you’ve been zoning out while smiling for the past half hour.” he mimicked you for a while and chuckled as he went back to his business on his laptop. “Sorry, I was a bit distracted.” You told him shyly and scrunched your nose. He was aiming at you with a piece of cookie now, “Okay, okay I’m gonna stop now. Going back to work now. Relax. And that sofa is new!”

Jae threw the cookie on the table and took off his silver round glasses. The two of you have been working straight for twelve hours now, preparing a creative presentation for an upcoming shoot. “That’s exactly how you looked when I caught you red-handed in The Grind. Disgusting.” he laughed again as he stood up to get this fourth cup of coffee for the day. You flashed him a sour look. “It’s the first time I’ve dated again after a long time, geez why can’t you just be supportive.” Not a single romantic bone in his body. You rolled your eyes on him as you threw your hoodie on your head and worked on your presentation again. “I’m supportive!” He approached you across the dining table where you’re working and put down a cup of coffee for you. He threw back the hood of your hoodie. “Happy for you, really. I’m just not used to it. We’re so used to being miserable together it felt weird seeing you all smiley and shit.” He took a sip.

You punched him on the arm as you took the coffee cup and took a swig. Jae continues, “You lucky idiot. Y/N finding an attractive, self-sufficient and single guy, in these trying times? A once in a lifetime event. A character development.” Your best friend messed up your hair and flashed you a genuine happy smile like he just sent his daughter to graduation. You smiled at him back and meant to reply. “Aww thanks Jae. Really he’s…” you stopped at your thought. Wait, you haven’t thought of this so much because things went by so fast. But Jae’s words made you think, thoughts, and have been thinking. But holy crap. “...he’s single, right?”

——

A small concern with how the engine sounds We held darkness in withheld clouds I would ask, "Should we just keep driving?"

Even the music in the studio couldn’t calm down your nerves. Your nervousness is off the roof, and you feel like your big breakfast is making a comeback. Johnny’s assistants, the kid named Mark and another trainee called Andy, were setting up and the brand manager of today’s clients are seated on the table with Stephanie. A model was getting her hair and make-up done at the other side of the studio. You were pacing back and forth by the studio couch where Jae was sitting down, scrolling on his phone.

He looked up to you and he silently mumbled as your eyes met “Y/N, sit the fuck down. Jesus Christ.” Soon as you sat beside him, you started restlessly shaking your right leg. 

Jae put down his phone and rested a hand over your right leg and whispered “I get that you’re incredibly nervous if you’ve hooked up with an un-single man, but…” he brings his face closer to you “...we have a client on site today so calm yourself down.”

He was right. It’s a big project for a high-profile client. You can’t mess this shoot up, not with Jae and Steph, and especially not because you were sucking faces with the photographer in charge. Jae’s hand still rests above your leg, tapping you to calm you down.

Speaking of the photographer, Johnny was nowhere to be seen. You haven’t seen him since you arrived. You haven’t talked so much as well after the night at this studio, only a few short exchanges slightly better than saying today’s weather is fine. Nothing clarifying what you two are or where you are at. This made you more nervous if you unceremoniously invited yourself in the side-chick department. Your short summary of the tragedies of your ex-lovers, or the lack thereof, ran briefly in your mind like an after credits scene.

Was he really just busy or not much of a texting type of person? Wouldn’t he invite you to the exhibit if he has someone else in mind? Or was he really just looking for a side fling? As Jae would have said, “Men are trash, and I am apologizing for their behalf.”

“Sorry! I’m here now!” Johnny entered the studio clad in his usual work get-up—a white shirt cuffed at the sleeves, three buttons undone, his dark washed jeans. His hair, fresh and brushed up as always. To your surprise, an equally attractive woman arrives with him, dressed in a beige jumpsuit with a stylish neckerchief, her brown stiletto heels clicking on the studio floor. Her long shiny hair falls past beyond her tiny waist.  She and Johnny walked towards Steph and the client as he introduced her to them, “This is our stylist for today, Irene.” 10. “Just wanted to let you know…” Jae mumbled beside you, his white cheeks full like a white peach after biting a mouthful of pizza, “you are absolutely no match, visuals wise, but I’m still on your team.”

You furiously hit his face with an open palm, causing him to choke on a bite. You poured him a soda on a plastic cup and handed it to him, “I know and you don’t need to rub it in my face idiot.” 

Jae cleared his throat after washing it with soda. “Why are you so pressed at me?” He explained with a slice of pizza on hand, “I just told the truth but I’m still on your team.”

You rolled your eyes on him and put the paper plate with a pizza slice on the armchair. Your stomach is still doing cartwheels, so you don’t have an appetite at all. You and Jae are squeezed on the studio couch as you are trying to avoid any interaction with Johnny and the ghost of Audrey Hepburn—who’s eating lunch in front of Johnny’s computer browsing at photos and sharing a few laughs. You don’t know the deal with them yet, but they are a sight to see. 

You heaved a deep sigh and turned to Jae, “I feel so ugly and fucking stupid Jae.”

“Okay, sorry, but stupid for getting messy with someone you work with? Uh-huh.” he nibbles on a pizza crust, and continued “But seriously, Y/N, you don’t know what they are yet. So maybe, unclench a little.” He stood up to put his trash away.

Your mood has been rock bottom since this morning, and you are certainly not yourself at all. Your stomach is still churning from all the stress of work and this Johnny situation. It’s a good thing Jae is co-directing you today, he compensates for the things you miss for being so out of focus. And he interacts with Johnny today instead of you.

You heaved a sigh and motioned to stand up when suddenly Johnny sat on the now empty space beside you. “Hey, you.” His mouth curled into a smile. “Are you okay?”

It was a busy day and this is the first time he approached you directly. He’s probably seen you sighing since morning. “Hey.” You answered him forcing a smile. He held your arm gently and was going to say something when the stylist, Irene, approached you two.

“Y/N is it?” the ghost of Audrey Hepburn asked, her smile lighting up her whole face. You nodded in reply. “Johnny told me a lot about working with you.”

She was so pretty, straight from a classic Hollywood movie kind, and pleasant, it’s hard to hate her at all. The goddess continues, “I hope you enjoyed the exhibit, couldn’t make it that day so I told him to bring another friend instead.”

The exhibit? You turned your head to Johnny, and he is just smiling at you as Irene keeps on talking. You turned your head to Irene again, but you couldn’t hear a thing. You are putting the pieces together on the spot, faster than you would put up a creative mood board. All you can think about is the “you”, enjoying the exhibit as the “friend brought instead”. 

——

“Hmmm, no. The posture is off and the lighting changed a bit harsher? Please check.”

Jae was art directing Johnny at lightning speed, onto their 10th and last lay-out for the day. You crept on Jae’s side and whispered to him, “Hey.”

“Hey, what?” he responded, eyes fixed on the monitor updating with photographs everytime Johnny clicks the camera. He was single-handedly directing the shoot now, after telling him the exhibit story. Jae was kind enough to let you rest, despite the petty reason for your mini-mental breakdown. But you were feeling really sick now, and you needed Jae to SOS. 

“I’m not feeling so good.” you whispered to Jae, that made him look at your pale face in panic right away. Perhaps that was a little loud for a whisper, because Johnny was eyeing you now, in between clicks as Irene fixes the model’s outfit. Jae held your left arm steadily, “I told you to sit down, why are you stand—“

You saw light flash before your eyes before Jae could finish his sentence, and everything turned into black.

——

You opened your eyes, greeted by the cityscape from your apartment window. You adjusted in your bed and noticed Jae sitting on your sofa from across. He dozed off already, you checked the time on your phone: 2:00AM. The last sane memory you had was collapsing in the studio, Jae catching you just in time. And maybe gaining consciousness in the ER only to drift away again.

“Hey, Jae.” Jae was on his toes right away, as soon as he realized you woke up, he walked towards your bed, yawning. “It’s late, go home.”

Jae nodded, and with half-closed eyes he briefly gave you a refresher of your blackout that landed you to the ER. Apparently, you were having a really bad case of acid reflux hence the extreme weakness and stomach churning—the sleepless nights and endless stressing out got in you. Jae knew of your slight anxiety, undiagnosed and not quite there yet but the doctor said it must have triggered that too.

“No coffee for your tummy and anxiety,” Jae messed up your already messy hair, “and no stress. I’ll take care of today’s work and Steph will take care of your days off. Don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks Jae.” You were a bit stronger now so you squeezed him in a hug. 

He patted your back. “Wash up and take a rest.” You nodded at him and accompanied him to the door. 

Jae turned back from the doorstep, “And Y/N?” he held on to the knob of your door’s apartment, and continued “He was worried as hell, for you. Contact him soon.”

“Huh?” Jae winked at you and smiled as he quickly left the door before you could even ask any more questions. Was he referring to Johnny? Did they talk?

So many questions in your head as you took a quick shower before heading to bed. The warm water on your skin relaxed you and melted today’s restless thoughts. You bathed with your calming lavender gel, which you love using on stressful days. You were looking forward to snuggling in your blankets after putting on a pink silk camisole and shorts.

The doorbell ringing startled you amidst the loud noise of your hairdryer. Did Jae leave something? His keys perhaps? You hurriedly threw a white oversized hoodie over your camisole to answer him. 

Johnny’s tall figure surprised you outside your doorway. “Y/N, hey, uhm…” he greeted you clumsily, in a hurry to explain, “Jae helped me pass by the lobby, I just, can we talk?”

Jae did what? You will need him to give you an explanation. And really, at 2 in the morning?

“Okay I guess, uhm, come in, it’s cold.” He looked restless and cold, his hair undone and fluffy—different from when you would see him at work. He was wearing just a pair of thin black lounge pants and slip ons, his hoodie the only thick clothing keeping him warm. “Want me to make you a cup of coffee?”

You went straight to the pantry of your studio apartment, Johnny following you inside. You meant to offer him to sit down but he was already at you in the pantry before you even got to grind the beans. He held you gently on your right arm as your back rested on the counter.

“Look, I wanted to say sorry Y/N.” Johnny looked at you with pleading eyes.

This is a lot to take at 2am so you tried to recollect your thoughts of what happened today as quickly as possible—alright, blurred lines, arriving with an insanely gorgeous lady, you incessantly overthinking the real deal between you two. If things didn’t bother you a lot, and if the kiss you two shared was really nothing but just a kiss, then maybe you needed to unclench and just call it a day. People hook up. Be an adult about it. Your fainting episode gave you a lot of headspace to clear things out.

“But Johnny…” You seriously thought he had nothing to be sorry about.

“No, I mean, I was never clear from the start.” He continued. “I might have confused you a lot, when I took shortcuts—“ his eyes are on the floor.

What is he talking about now? This is making you sweat under your oversized hoodie.

“I never made my intentions clear. So let me fill up the gaps—“ he is absolutely acting strange.

His eyes are fixated on you now, two honey-brown circles looking through you amidst your apartment’s dim lights. “I thought maybe I liked you when we first met. That afternoon, I just wanted to see you. I wanted to take you to coffee. And I want to take you on a date. But that one night I might have blurred the lines, might have thought to take it slow and test the waters, but earlier today—yesterday, I thought, yes, maybe I like you a lot more than I thought I did. Maybe, when I saw you in the same room with me, talking to someone else, maybe I would like to talk with you too, everyday. When you do not feel well, maybe I want you to tell me right away. Maybe I wanted to take things slow, but I was wrong, and I’ll go crazy if I don’t do this now—in fact, you know, fuck maybes. Because I’m sure, I’m sure I like you a lot and more Y/N. I just get sidetracked sometimes because God, you’re so beautiful. Even I, am confused with myself. Shit.” 

Johnny was trying to catch his breath as he bared his most vulnerable side to you yet, all his cards on the table. Under the dim lights he was searching for an answer on your face. 

You didn’t hesitate to let him wait, you held his hand and leaned closer, “But Johnny, I like you a lot, and more, too.”

11.  Do you think I'm cool, too? Or am I too into you? Tell me what you want and you got it, love I want all of you, gimme all you got

Johnny’s eyes lit up and his lips curved into a smile as he leaned closer for a kiss. He was flushed after his confession, his lips felt warm as he tasted you biting your tender lips, his tongue gently discovering your mouth. 

You like him a lot. You want him. Fuck it! You pulled away from the kiss and put all your cards on the table “Please stay over?” 

Him kissing you back will suffice for a reply, his weight pushes you against the counter as his hands travel your hips, slowly crawling your back, and down again to the slopes beneath your satin shorts. In an instant, his strong hands lifted you up the kitchen counter, letting you wrap your legs onto him tightly.

Your skin against his skin sends electric shocks all over your body. You thought, this must be how fireworks feel. Your heart pounds quickly as your eyelashes brushed together, hearing each other’s breath—the only sound in your dead quiet apartment. He smelled like soap, but you caught a faint whiff of tobacco and jasmine—his perfume that you love. You laced your hands at the crook of his neck to bring him closer again, kissing his lips a bit harder this time, clutching the fabric of his hoodie tighter—wanting to relish the moment but wanting to discover some uncharted parts of his body, right away, at the same time.

Johnny broke from your tight, breathless kiss to plant warm quick kisses on your chin, tracing your jaw, giving him soft and gentle moans as his lips met parts of you he never met before. He smells the lavender on your skin. His hands searched the hem of your oversized hoodie and took it off as he found it, revealing the silk pink camisole, the only thing you are wearing underneath. He sighs and marvels at the sight of you, “So beautiful”, the soft dim light falls gracefully at your flushed face—your breasts rising up and down in every deep breath, nipples hardened against the silk. Your loose curls fall at the bare skin of your shoulders, a strap of the camisole sliding off from one shoulder.

His lips continue from where he left and freely traces your neck, slowly kissing down until he reaches the slopes of your breasts. You let out a soft moan again as he mouthed a nipple, toying it with his tongue against the silk, his hands gripping tightly your waist and the other one softly massaging your other breast.

“Johnny, I…” You buried your head in his thick jet black hair, letting out gentle little cries as he took turns playing with the twins of your nipples, tasting the bare one where the strap slid off. He licked and sucked, throaty moans escaping his lips.

He went back to give you a kiss again after your camisole was drenched, and you held his hoodie tightly to take it off, too, pulling the thin undershirt beneath it as well. The lights in the kitchen make his fair skin glisten, highlighting the bumps and edges of his sculpted pecs and abs. You held his neck tightly, crushing your lips into his, his hands traveling from your waist, back and forth your legs, pulling them apart a little. Your kisses become rapid and short, as his right hand crawls beneath your silk shorts to feel the bare skin underneath, and into your pussy, dripping in desire.

Johnny looked at you with eyes dark and deeper now, “Tell me when it feels good, dear.” He watches your face as his fingers caress your wet clit, touching them first tenderly and slowly building up, going harder and then gentle again.

You closed your eyes as he hit a sensitive spot, “That—that feels good, Johnny,” and he noticed how you shifted and curled up as he played with the same spot. “Like this?” he whispered softly as he pecked your ears, his fingers still discovering you under , “Yes, please—“ you answered as he fingers you in a precise motion, suddenly quickening the phase as he watches you let out little cries, eyes watering as you held steady on his sculpted chest.

Johnny quickly dug his fingers inside you deeper, and you felt close to coming when he pulled you in again on passionate kiss, his core hardened against your drenched gem. He lifted you from the kitchen counter in one swift motion, and brought you to your bed, putting you down gently like a rare artifact. His big hands caught the garter of your silk shorts and slid it down slowly from your legs. 

Beads of sweat start to form and stream on his temples now, as well as his bare neck and chest. He pecked you on the lips and whispered again, “Now let me know where to kiss, dear.” he smiled and went down at your feet, kissing and tracing your left leg. He planted quick kisses on your inner thighs too, and then jumped just beneath your navel. His hands are tracing lines on your inner thighs, as he slowly descends to your wet, and waiting pussy. He kissed and licked the outer folds gently. In between his flat tongue brushing your folds, he would give you a little suck. You might have let out a loud whimper when he hit a sweet spot during his ordeal.

He paused and asked you in his shallow breathing, “Are your walls soundproof?”

“Uhmm, no.” Both of you laughed as you rose to give him a kiss, his lips still wet from his kisses down low.

He pulled you closer, his hands gentle on your neck “I’ll keep it easy then.” he smiles and gives you a peck, his hands fondling you inside your camisole again.

“I’ll keep quiet.” As you kissed him back. Towering over him, you put your arms on his shoulders as your hands swam his thick black hair. His lips traced your shoulder blades and into the curve of your shoulder. Your hands traveled the highway of his back, your nails slightly scratching on his skin as you struggled to reach for the waist of his lounge pants. Johnny stood up in an instant and swiftly kicked it off.

He knelt on the edge of your bed frame and positioned you on top of him, your hands curling on his nape for support. In the darkness of your apartment with only the kitchen light on, you could only make out a faint image of his face, but you could hear his deep erratic breaths and you could feel his manhood getting harder as you sat atop of him. His honey eyes glimmer faintly in the dim light, his hands with a life of their own under your camisole as he kisses you deeply, lips red and swollen. You gently rocked atop of him as you kissed, and Johnny let out a sharp deep moan as you bit his lower lip. You could feel yourself wetting him and soiling the bed sheets. But that is the least of your concern now.

“Johnny, I—” your lips parted moistly, you called for him as you gasped for air. “Yes, love?” he eyes you, brown eyes hooded in lust as you rock him back and forth. His hands are playing your breasts, squeezing it hard when you rock into him harder. “I—I need you to make me come, Johnny.” you struggle to say your words. It might have been the bed rocking or your limbs might be shaking now. Riding him made you weak on your knees, the pleasure pulsating all over your body.

Johnny moaned beautifully at your request. “I will, love.” he lifted you a little as his hands traveled down your dripping folds, “Already so fucking wet.”

You squirmed at hearing him talk dirtily. He hasn't done a lot yet but you want to break down the walls of your apartment. He briefly played your folds and planted a kiss on your nose as he whispered “No yelling.”

He lifted you closer to his body as he angled his tip on your dripping, womanly mess. He gently entered your folds as you let out a subdued moan, trying to keep quiet, panting as he entered you inch by inch. Johnny let out a deep throaty sigh as you tightened around his shaft. He lifted you up and down with him inside of you, urging you to follow suit. When you got a hold of it, quick, erratic moans in between, he held one hand on your hips, and one gripping your neck.

Your mind is all over the place. Your hands frantically trying to hold on to his broad shoulders, your right hand gripping the dark rose flower tattoo on his bicep. In a pleasurable agony, you tried your best to stop from your sudden whimpers as Johnny pushes you in deeper. When you push, Johnny pushes harder. Back and forth, you can feel him growing inside longer as he hits your spot.

“Johnny, fucking hell!” you yelped in surprise. He covered a strong hand over your mouth, “Fuck,” he whispered with a smile “baby...don’t yell.”

Shaking and panting as you feel closer to your climax, Johnny laid you down on your back, teasing you with his tip, in and out, only to go deep into you again on one precise thrust. He moves in and out of you in a steady phase. His hands still covering your mouth, faint whimpers escaping in his every push. His deep panting and your little cries fills the silence of the room. You two smell of sweat and each other’s perfume. He leaned on your face, the pupils of his brown eyes dilated and sweat trickling from his forehead, he whispered “Are you coming now, baby?”

He takes his right hand off your mouth, intertwining his fingers to yours as he pins your hand against the mattress, his phase now going fast in irregular beats. “I’m yes… baby go faster…please!” you can barely answer him back, you’re starting to see light flashing before your eyes as he continuously thrusts back and forth. Your free hand is holding tightly to the bed sheet.

He held your neck gently as he looked straight into your eyes, “Now…baby?” he asks, eyes fluttering in pleasure as the two of you let out feral, beastly moans.

“Yes Johnny, I’m coming, I’m—” there were stars in your eyes before you finished, Johnny thrusting one last, strong push. 

Johnny moaned under his breath, his eyes shut tightly in pleasure on his release. You could feel your insides squirming, your toes curling against your bed sheets which you are certain you soiled greatly—it felt like there’s a sea down there. He collapsed at the crook of your neck, panting like mad. You could feel yourself still pulsating after he pulled out from you. Your insides felt bare and raw.

It was like this for a few minutes, both of your panting in a chorus. You left hand still pinned in his, you brought your right hand on his back and gently ran fingers through his sweaty skin. He lifted his face above to see yours—flushed and sweat glistening under the dim light. He tucked strands of your hair sticking on your face beneath your ear and smiled at you softly.  

Johnny kissed your forehead and said with eyes, half-closed in exhaustion, “So pretty…my little freak.” 

12. You woke up with a headache, and Johnny, curled up beside you in your bed. You dozed off like a baby against his broad chest. The sun lit your apartment from the window. It must be 8:00 AM now or so.

You buried your face against his chest with a smile. He was softly snoring on your pillow. You wished you could wake up like this everyday. Not minding the time and the achy sores the day after. Okay, maybe not the walls-banging, passionate sex everyday, you thought, as you decide to climb out of bed, knees weak like jelly.

You found your discarded silk shorts at the foot of your bed and picked them up to wear as you walked half-asleep towards your pantry to grind beans. The headache is killing you. You roasted the coffee on autopilot—like how you would everyday. The delicious smell climbed up your nose. You were yawning as you poured yourself a cup, just as you heard movements from the direction of your bed.

“Doctor said no coffee.” Johnny said from the edge of your bed, putting on his lounge pants eyes half closed. 

Oh right, you remembered Jae’s long list of do’s and don’ts from the doctor. You almost forgot yesterday’s ER episode. 

Johnny walked towards you at the counter, “Morning, babe.” he pecked you on the lips, “Sorry I kept you up last night.” he smiled and collapsed in you clumsily still half-asleep.

“Good morning Johnny.” You wrapped your arms around him, still sleepy as well. Johnny took the cup of coffee you placed on the counter and took a drink. He exhaled deeply and untangled from your embrace to get a glass to fill with water from your refrigerator. “No coffee, tea or any drinks that will cause you flare ups.” he said as he handed you the glass of water.

You took a drink. So he was with Jae at the ER last night, but you didn’t see him when you gained consciousness. He probably went home only to go back again to confess. Your stomach flutters as you remember the things that happened after, last night.

“I’ll make you breakfast, you can go and wash up while I do.” Johnny said, his eyes checking the food supply in your refrigerator.

—— The 9am sunlight hits your dining table beautifully. Johnny sat beside you after a quick shower, strands of his hair occasionally dripping, wearing his oversized hoodie. You shared a plate of veggie omelette. The warmth of the morning sun is comforting. Time seems slower when you don’t have to rush to work on a weekday.

You take a minute to see if this moment is real. It’s been a long time since you’ve been this calm and quiet. Let alone with a man you’re crazy about who’s equally crazy about you too. You pinched Johnny on the leg and he surprisingly winced in pain, the omelette in his fork came shooting in the air. Yup, definitely not another dream.

“Ah! Baby, it’s too early.” He playfully said as his broad arms tried to cover his chest coyly. You bursted into laughter.

“Ah this guy!” finally recovering, you continued, “I’m just checking.”

“Checking what?” he suddenly looks at you with a serious face, his honey-glazed eyes with a hint of concern.

“Checking to see if this is real. If you ARE real.” you stared at him with calm eyes, your fingers combing his air up so the water won’t drench his clothes.

Hearing this, Johnny leans into you closer and gives you a quick kiss. He asks you with searching eyes right after, “Does it feel real now?”

You gave him a sly smile, “I’m not sure, I think I need to check again.” your eyebrows feigning uncertainty. 

He was quick to catch you, planting countless kisses on your lips, and asked “Not real yet?” trying to look a little disappointed.

“Nooooo, not yet.” You frowned on him playfully. Growing impatient, he leaned again closer, his left hand gently touching your neck as he closed his eyes and kissed you softly.

He parted from your lips and stared at you with his clear honey eyes, “It’s real. You and I make it real.”

——

You asked for a three day leave at work to rest. On the second day, Johnny had a scheduled photoshoot and couldn’t come to your place so you played records and napped like a baby all day. On the third day, you felt like a plant growing roots on your bed. You tried calling Jae to let you in on what he's doing in the office but he hung up on you and insisted you rest today and think of nothing. 

Johnny wanted to restock your fridge “with actual food that's not egg or bread,” so he took you to the market after a morning schedule. He was filling the grocery cart full and you needed to stop him because you barely eat at home on work days. He insisted he’s going to be around a lot and if you’re not cooking, he would.

He threw a chocolate-chip pancake mix on the cart, “Let’s eat this tonight.” and rolled over to the next aisle to get a bottle of syrup.

“Johnny, it’s 6PM.” you confusingly inform him, as you try to catch his big strides. 

You caught up to him rolling over the freezers of frozen goods, serious as hell trying to find what he’s looking for, “Baby, help me find the sausages.” 

Now searching a freezer full of varieties of frozen meat doing as he says, you poked at him “we’re eating breakfast tonight I see.”

He threw a bag of breakfast sausages on the cart and closed the freezer as he tapped your cheeks, urging you to follow him. “Yeah, like what we had on our first date.”

You stopped on your tracks, surprised and confused. The all-day breakfast was the day you two first met. “The art exhibit was our FIRST date.” You told him, like how you would correct someone wrong, Miss I’m-Never-Wrong.

Johnny turned around to walk back to you, eyes dead serious, the heels of his boots making sounds on the cereal aisle. “The art exhibit was the THIRD. Your favorite coffee shop is the second.”

“The breakfast dinner was the day we first met!” you said in a matter-of-factly way, as you get a box of Fruit Loops and place it neatly on the cart. 

“I know. And I also asked you out to dinner.” he quipped back, checking out the cereal boxes on the shelf. 

Your mouth was agape in surprise, “Whoa, Johnny Suh, ain’t that too fast?” you playfully punched his chest.

He smiled at you. “It was an instinct. I thought, ‘Hey, I might like this girl.’ and a dinner and a whole album later, I was right. Told you, I’m decisive and I don’t like complicating things. I just got distracted a little.”

And you remembered that. Johnny winked at you and placed a box of Frosted Flakes on the cart. The tiger character at the box giving you a thumbs up.

——

Johnny was snoring softly beside you, as you scroll through your phone in the dark. You wanted to make the most of your last day before going back to work and he wanted to sleepover. You adjusted your phone’s light so you won’t wake him up.

You had a lovely day. The two of you had breakfast for dinner, talking over some things you haven’t talked about yet—like him being the only child and his parents staying abroad, him finishing a degree in advertising, and Irene, the ghost of Audrey Hepburn, being almost like an older sister who guided him as he started out his studio. She knew Johnny wanted to take “a girl named Y/N” on a date so she got Johnny the exhibit invites.

You now cringe at the thought of having a mental breakdown because of Irene. You continued scrolling to ease the embarrassment away, as Johnny in his sleep, wrapped an arm around you. 

It hasn’t fully sunk in yet that you have a gorgeous, kind, and talented man as your boyfriend. You remembered the snapshot of you he sent earlier, from the art gallery. He perfectly captured you turning after he called your name—the moment your lips were forming into a smile as your eyes caught a glimpse of him. Your back curved in motion, the strands of your hair gracefully flying mid-air. Your dress sheened like champagne, and the magnificent gold rose sculpture seemingly blooms from you at the back. Undoubtedly, you are Johnny Suh’s muse.

You’re happy in this photograph—a core memory. You immediately opened Instagram to compose a post. This deserved a square on your curated grid. And maybe, subtly introduce Johnny to your small, humble world.

You captioned the photo with a camera and heart emoji and tagged Johnny, and pressed post. In a minute, your nosy friends flocked on your notifications. The ones who get it, get it.

You pulled a blanket on top of you and Johnny, and checked the notifications before finally tucking in. 

Irene liked your post. Katy liked your post and left an eye and heart emoji. Steph left a like too. 

Jae was having a field day in the comments section: “Wait a minnet *eyes emoji*”, five clapping emojis, and finally “Happy for you, bestie. *smile and heart emoji*

You were about to put your phone down to sleep when a red bubble notification with a heart and “1” appeared. You checked to see who was happy to hear the news.

“Kun Qian liked your post.” You froze, and pins and needles started running through your body.

12. Your phone’s display lit up as you raised it to check the time. 8:25 AM. The digits sit on the foreground of your wallpaper: Johnny sitting by your dining table with a coffee mug on hand and the morning sun hitting his face, one of his eyes closed and one honey-brown eye smiling at the person taking the photo.

There’s enough time to get coffee at The Grind. “Johnny?” You figured he’d love to get breakfast to eat later when he arrived at his studio. “Getting coffee at the Grind. Want anything? Breakfast?”

“No I’m good, I already ate.” He replied, eyes fixed on the road. But he did not, he stood up from your bed 15 minutes before the two of you left for work.

“No you didn’t?” You asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“I did. I ate you.” He said with a poker face.

You let out a yell and Johnny burst out laughing. You pinched his right leg as he winced in pain, still laughing, and stopping you diligently as he was driving. “So sleazy at 8:30 in the morning!” you scolded him.

“But we even went earlier than that.” Johnny laughed again, avoiding another pinch as he held your left hand and his other hand rested on the steering wheel, continuing to drive. In a few minutes, you arrived at your office complex, Johnny parked the car and the two of you went to The Grind for a quick coffee—a routine every time he would spend the night at your place.

“Morning, lovers!” the barista, Wendy, shouted as you two entered the café. You give her a warm smile and wave. They have gotten used to Johnny as well, ever since you two have been together. “What can I get you, Y/N?”

“I’ll get an iced americano, iced latte, and two BLTs. To go please.” you scanned the qr code to pay, as Wendy tapped your orders in and proceeded to prepare them.

Shortly, after a quick skim through your morning emails, your orders arrived. Wendy handed a thin kraft paper bag to Johnny as you carried the takeaways. Johnny took the sandwich bags as he walked you out and into your office building.

“Yo, John!” Jae entered the glass doors and greeted Johnny with a secret bro handshake. After a while of you and Johnny being together, Jae seemed to have gained himself a new best friend. The two of them can’t get enough of each other, it’s starting to get annoying.

“Why don’t the two of you just date each other instead then.” You two brought them back from their conversation. Jae finally acknowledged your presence.

“Oh yeah, hey Y/N.” He chuckled, “Sorry but I see your face five times a week so I need a breather.” Johnny laughed.

“Idiot. Go away!” you shooed Jae away as he bid Johnny goodbye to head in first.

Johnny turned to you and smiled, “Jealous much?” he said, as he handed you the thin paper bag from the cafe earlier.

“What’s this?” you asked, as you took a peek inside and saw a sealed Folklore vinyl. “Johnny?! What for?” was all you can say as you held to the record tightly in your chest, you loved this album so much.

“Nothing. Can’t I get gifts for my girlfriend?” he said as you planted a kiss on his cheek. Johnny continued, “Okay, if you want, let’s just say, ‘Happy 209 days with you’.” as he kissed you on the cheek too. You smiled at him before he went, iced coffee and breakfast in hand, and made sure you said it back, clear as his honey-glazed eyes, “Happy 209 days baby.” 13. Conference rooms and Mondays don’t do well together, you know just by the look of Jae sitting across from you—eyes half-closed, hands resting on his chin, his silver glasses misaligned. Not a word from Stephanie’s presentation has registered. Sorry Steph.

As soon as your creative director adjourned the meeting, the two of you scampered to get out of the room quickly. 

“Move!” Jae sped up past you to get the food you had delivered. In a hot minute, he’s running back at the pantry where you’re waiting for him, or the fried rice rather. Lunch breaks are BFF hours. It’s one opportunity in the day where you and Jae are as far away from your workstations as possible and almost no one, no one would dare to talk to the two busiest art directors in the office at this hour. It’s like an unwritten rule.

A dumpling made its way to your mouth as Steph walked towards you and Jae in the pantry, a jug of protein shake on one hand. She obviously hasn’t received the “No-Talking-During-Lunch” memo.

“Darling, will John be available for the shoot next, next week?” Steph asked as she chugged the protein-shake.

“Oh Steph,” you answered, as soon as you’re done chewing, “he’s already in Singapore by that time.”

Steph clicked her tongue. “Ahhh. Too bad, now I need to find another photographer who works as fast and as good as him.” She tapped your shoulder and reminded Jae of their project before she left, “Send me the PDF later.” 

Jae rolled his eyes and looked at you as he answered her back, “No talking about work during lunch hours!” He threw his chopsticks on the now empty take-out box.

He opened one can of sparkling cider and handed it to you, “Why aren't you coming to Singapore?” Jae asked, as he opened a can for himself.

“Johnny mentioned it. Not that I didn’t thought about it, but during these months there’s just so much work. I couldn’t possibly be gone for three whole weeks,” and it’s true, Steph would’ve handed out the job orders before you can even file for days off.

“Let Stephanie solve the problem of art directors not being available because they’re trying to live their lives,” Jae said with so much conviction, “and besides, what do you think I’m doing here?”

“Well yeah, but, Steph said this is one of the biggest projects this year and they needed two of us to take the load of it together.” you told Jae as you took a sip of the sparkling cider.

Jae blew out raspberries, annoyed and not having any of it, “Load of crap.”

—— Livin' in a daydream She said, "Love me like you paid me" You know I'll be gone for so long So give me all of your love, give me something to dream about

An open suitcase lies on the floor, half-full. There’s a pile of clothing on the bed and a couple of shoes to be put on the suitcase. An opened black bag of toiletries sits on the suitcase, missing an electric shaver and after-shave.

At the foot of Johnny’s bathroom door lies a pair of discarded black jogging pants, a black workout shorts, and boxers. The noise coming from the other side of the door is muted by the loud speaker blasting his morning playlist.

The bathroom door is fighting for its life, you held your left hand on the doorknob and your right clasped the towel hook beside his sink. Johnny holds your waists tightly as you sit on the sink, back arched and your leg wrapped around him as he thrusts into you swiftly and precisely. Your underwear hangs at your right leg, didn’t even make it past your feet. His electric shaver and after-shave landed on the bathroom floor instead of his half-packed toiletry bag.

“Yes, make noise for me baby.” Johnny moans at your ear in between pants as he comes back kissing your neck. He was sucking on it too hard, the islands his lips made now turning into a faint purple color.

“JOHNNY!” was all you can properly say, or yell, amidst your loud whimpers and cries, your back painfully hitting against the cold marble of his bathroom counter. But you couldn’t care less because it felt so good to have him thrusting his fullness on you as you tightened around him, trying to see until when your pleasure will last. You might have broken the doorknob, now with a screw loose, after Johnny thrusted too hard. You mustered all the energy left in you to plead your last request, “PLEASE…fuck me like you want to ruin this fucking sink.”

Your fucking language. Your grandmother would have smacked you with her cane by how dirty your mouth sounds at the moment.

Johnny paused, sighed heavily, couldn’t believe he could possibly be any more turned on but he is. His eyes grew deeper and lusty, his right hand lifted your chin to meet his eyes, “Little freak, I’ll fuck your brains out.”

His phone’s alarm chimes from outside, amidst the loud music. He should be in the airport in two hours. Johnny doesn’t seem to hear a thing. 

He watches you pleading with eyes closed and your head resting on the mirror of his sink. He now enters you, slowly, inch by inch, in and out, with the fullness of him. Your insides squirms every time he’ll push inside of you. “Open your eyes baby.” he commanded. 

You did as he pushed into you again, this time hitting your sweet spot. Seeing this, he pushed as deeply as possible, repeatedly, your cries and his moans in unison, with expletives you wouldn't have thought you'd hear from such a sweet-looking couple.

You could feel yourself reaching your climax, your eyes watery and flashing, and your pussy drenched as hell. You held tightly on the doorknob, now loose from its screw as your other hand curled tightly on Johnny’s shoulders. In the midst of a disgraceful moan, you managed to let out, “John, baby, I’m coming, I’m coming…”

“Shit, come for me, baby, yes!” was all he could say, his eyes tightly shut, his shoulders shaking as he released.

Exhausted, he looked at you to see your face and was surprised to see tears streaming down your flushed cheeks. In panic, he held your face gently “Baby why? Did I hurt you?” he asked as he clumsily checked you for wounds or bruises. But there’s nothing to see now except a sore back and neck full of hickeys.

You collapsed on the base of his neck and cried like a baby, “I’m gonna miss you a lot.” was all you can say, still sobbing on his sweat-drenched gray t-shirt, tired for being so horny and hormonal today. You wished you bought a damn plane ticket. 

Johnny sighed and held you for a good minute, pulled back to look at your face, and kissed your forehead, “I love you. I’ll be back before you know it.”

14. It's unfortunate, just coordinates.

You were sitting by a long work table in the studio as you reviewed the day’s agenda. Jae is beside you, doing last minute notes on a powerpoint on his tablet. A message pops up on your phone screen: “Johnny - Text message”. You opened it immediately. “I’ll take you here someday!” his text message reads. Another one popped up on the thread, 

a wide angled photo of Singapore’s Flower Dome, the largest glass greenhouse of the world. Johnny photographed the vast center of the conservatory—trees, topiaries and a myriad of flowers arranged beautifully in the area. There’s a wooden lighthouse in one area and in another, a wooden windmill. The photo looked like a little flower town.

“I should’ve gone with you :(“ you texted a reply, as sullen as your mood for the past few days after his flight. “Will always make a next time :)” Johnny replied. Another photo popped on the message thread. A photo of an area full of hydrangea flowers in different colors—pink, purple, blue and green. It’s one of your favorite blooms, the flower buds look like pastel-colored popcorns. He sent another text, “So pretty, but you’re prettier.”

Seven months ago this would’ve made you cringe. The wonders of being madly in love are really incredible. You couldn’t wait for him to come home.

“I love you. Enjoy your day :*” you hit send, just in time as Steph and the clients from today’s high profile brand arrived. She strutted towards your direction to introduce them. You and Jae stood up to meet them. Steph pointed towards you and Jae, “These are Y/N and Jae, they will be directing this campaign shoot.” You held your hand out to the two younger brand managers, who according to her, are being trained by their senior manager who just entered the studio.

You wished your eyes were fooling you. But they’re not. As he walked towards you, Steph thought he needed an introduction. “Oh, and here’s our senior brand manager, Kun.”

Jae, who sat beside you, held his hand out to greet him. But Kun, dressed in a spotless dress shirt, black tailored pants and leather dress shoes swaggered passed Jae, straight to you, and met your otherwise limp hand for a handshake. His eyes, brooding and sharp, lingered on you for a while. “Long time no see, Y/N.”

——

“Did you even love me for real?” you asked Kun, as the two of you talked on the stairwell of his apartment. It wasn’t even talking, it was just you talking him back into your relationship which he ended a month ago after going home from Bangkok.

Kun sighed, held his temples and was growing impatient with you asking the same questions all over again despite your break-up. “Y/N, look, okay, I did. I loved you.”

Alright. The way he emphasized the past tense of “love” was enough to open the floodgate of tears flowing. You started sobbing as Kun continued talking, “It’s just, Y/N, honey, I’m not my best self, okay? It’s not you. I want to be my best self first.”

That was a lie. If there is something Kun is good at, it’s believing in himself. Always. That’s why when he got a promotion, he had no second thoughts but to fly to Bangkok to seize the opportunity. “But I love you now, and I will love you even if you want to find your best self.”

Kun can’t find the right words anymore. He just repeated what he had said, eyes on the floor “Now, I just want to be my best self, Y/N.” And you understood what he meant, he just wanted to continue finding the best in him, even if it costs your relationship.

You feel pathetic. You are pathetic. But you’re already there. You dared to ask him, “Was it Kannika?” Kun raised his head at the sound of that name. That was the name of the girl he was with on his Instagram stories, the week he was in Bangkok to visit the regional office of his agency. Kannika was a fellow brand manager in the regional office, and he was bound to be relocated in Bangkok in a week.

The mention of her name in the messy conversation riled Kun, “Aaaah. Y/N, you went all the way here this early just for this.” his tone obviously annoyed, the efforts of him not raising his voice on you all in vain.

You are a crying mess now, sobbing like a toddler in the stairwell leading to Kun’s unit. He didn’t even invite you in. You held tightly on the railings, bargaining, desperate to bring back a hopeless relationship. Kun held your shoulders to steady you, persistent to end this now, “Y/N, go home and rest, I’ll get you a ride so you can go home comfortably.”

There wasn’t a proper closure for this relationship. Kun saw an opportunity for himself and seized it. He said maybe it’s time for both of you to part ways. Suddenly, he talked about growth. But you two were growing together. It just doesn’t make sense.

The car came and Kun opened the doors for you, “Take care, Y/N.” he said, as he kissed your nose.

And just like that, Kun Qian conveniently took you out of his apartment and his life. That day, you lost both your best friend and the love of your life.

A month after, he fled to Bangkok to pursue his regional brand manager career and his best life—all of which you can only see via his Instagram.

One afternoon, with no one to talk to and while breaking down from the burnout of your new job, a failed online business and a month-old breakup, you checked his Instagram account because you missed him terribly. On his curated feed, you can see a new update on the top most left part of the grid—you tapped to view his new life update. It’s a photograph of Kun and the beautiful Thai girl in Phuket, smiling happily in a setting sunset. The caption reads, “My beautiful flower, Kannika.” 15. The Daily Grind evolves at night from a café into an intimate speakeasy bar serving locally-brewed beer. They turned the lights dim and low, and jazz started playing on the turntable by 7:00 PM. Jae invited you for a few drinks and a short bestie time after finishing the 4-day shoot of Kun’s brand. Wendy served your drinks as the two of you sat on the barstool overlooking the window. Jae took a piece of sweet potato chip and threw it into his mouth. “This guy Kun, a complete psycho.” “Ugh, do we have to talk about him Jae, I had enough of him for the last four days.” you told Jae after a swig of beer. Jae was quiet. He didn’t know about him much, but he knew enough from the crying fits in front of your office computer on the small work table you two used to share. “We’re basically twins separated from birth but I haven’t asked about him since then ‘cause all I know is the breakup was so bad you needed to befriend a seatmate with extreme anger management issues to get on with everyday life.” That joke was half-meant.

You sighed, tired from work and tired of the thought of Kun. You realized you haven’t unloaded to Jae about this. It was five years in the making. You kept it short and simple. “We have been together since college. He was my best friend and boyfriend. In a short visit to Bangkok years ago, he realized there’s a brighter life ahead of him, without me in it.” “That’s fucked up.” Jae shook his head, as he took another swig of his beer. “Falling out of love and growing apart happens, I guess.” You grabbed a chip. “And he also met a girl?” Jae asked.

“Yeah” you answered, as you crunched on the chip. “Naturally. Predictable.” Jae sighed as he put down his bottle. “That time, I just thought the longer years you are together, the more impossible you’ll fall out of it.” Jae is just listening intently. You continued, “You give so much, without asking for something in return and suddenly, there’s nothing left in him to give to you.” Jae zoned out in your question. There was silence for a while. He motioned to Wendy for another bottle of beer and answered you finally, “You can love for ten years and you can love for 10 days, both need work just the same,” he paused, chugging the last of his local-brew, “When one of you stops working to keep that love. It's as good as over. That’s love for you.” —— Katy found you in your apartment lying in your bed in the pajamas you were wearing last Friday night. Your unresponsive ass since yesterday sent her into a panic. It’s Sunday afternoon now. You slept your weekend away, waking up in unusual hours to pee and have something to eat. There’s a half-eaten ramen cup on the coffee table that doubles as your dining table in your small apartment. Katy stepped on an opened bag of chips, the contents all over the unpolished wooden floor. Katy shrugged you on your small bed, motionless like a rock, “Y/N, hey.” You woke up and thought twice if you should pretend you’re just sleeping. But Katy went out of her way to check on you. On cue, you opened your eyes, Katy letting out a small sigh. “There you go. Step one is waking up.” You rose from your bed as Katy scoured for clothes on your clothes rack. She took a clean university shirt and house shorts. “Step two is taking a bath so you can smell like a human again.” she handed you the clothes. You sat at your bed, trying to hold an impending cryfest, again. Katy saw this and mumbled under her breath, “Shit. You really loved that ass do you?” You nodded as you wiped the tears overflowing from your eyes. You wiped and held your eyelids to stop them from coming out. These stupid, useless things won’t stop watering. When you felt like your throat relaxed a bit, you answered Katy, “I DID.” “DID.” Katy repeated the word with so much conviction. DID. You used to. Yes, you used to love Kun. It’s done now. Katy went on, “Step 4 is acknowledging the truth of the past.”

That day, Katy urged you to take four steps out of your bed, into the bathroom, and away from Kun Qian. When the feelings get worse, repeat from step 1. As simple as shampooing your smelly hair.

This went on for days. A month later, you made another step. Step 5, make new memories. Everything that reminds you of him, you’ll make new memories. You held out a vintage vinyl record you stacked at your table, amidst bags of bread and instant ramen. It was from your seatmate Jae, after finding out about your break up. There is a short note pasted on the sleeve, and it reads “Stay Angry, Not Foolish.” you laughed as you took the record out of the aging sleeve and played it on your second hand turntable. That day, Jae helped you create your first fresh memories of things that remind you of Kun. Afternoon bubble teas, new memories. Stairwells, new memories. Vintage records that you two used to listen to all day, new memories. Bit by bit you get used to him not being around anymore, with help from your friends, and onto discovering your best life yet. 16. Kun Qian made sure to make these days miserable, even before waking up. You woke up breathless from a recount of the stairwell break-up in your dream. It was horrible. You thought Kun liking your instagram post months ago was merely a ghost you could contain in the four corners of your phone screen. It was harmless, you’ve moved on from him, and you are absolutely happy with Johnny. But perhaps, heartbreaks, and loss in general take too long or don’t heal at all. You just get used to them. When you get broken in a million pieces, you lose bits of you you can’t pick up again and you do your best to hold on with the remaining pieces you can keep in your hand—holding on to them carefully, hoping the bits and pieces of you won’t get lost any further. In that four-day photoshoot, he made it a point to invite himself in your life again. He would get you coffee, sit beside you on break times, and initiate small talks—so easy for him, like he has not forcefully pulled you out of his life then. You would interact with him for courtesy, he is after all, a client. The last thing you want is office drama in the middle of a high-profile project. But every client meeting, every email received, every mention of his name—your hands would tremble holding the remaining bits and pieces of you together, the parts of you that you worked hard for to make you whole again. Kun Qian started making your world and his smaller, and it’s suffocating the heck out of you. ——

As soon as 5:00 PM  strikes, you grab your stuff and jolt out of the office. Johnny is returning today and was supposed to fetch you from work. Jae promised to vouch for you when the meeting with Kun’s brand is finished. It could have been an email, but Kun was hyper active to align with Steph and the team from time to time. You ran out of the elevator and into the building lobby to see Johnny in the waiting area. His face lit up at the sight of you, his arms opened wide as you approached for an embrace. Your face fell right above his chest, his heartbeat beating against your ear. His scent brings you a certain calm, something you never had for the past days. “How are you, little freak?” his hands gently caressed your nape. “I missed you a lot, Y/N.” You nestled into his chest and lifted your face up, “I missed you too! Dinner? We don’t have food at home yet.” “I expected it to happen.” Johnny laughed as he held your hand and walked with you to The Grind.

——

“I’ll serve your meal in 15 minutes!” Wendy said, as she serves your iced coffees ahead. You and Johnny settled at your favorite spot, side by side at the small table from across the cafe window.

Your phone lit up with a message from Jae, “The devil has left the building.” accompanied by a throwing up emoji. Jae shared with you the same disdain for Kun now, apart from your long history, he couldn’t handle his arrogance ever since the first day he met him.

Putting your phone down, you faced Johnny and asked about Singapore. He marveled about the Flower Dome and how you would love it there, the new acquaintances he met, and the conference he was so honored to attend. The trip opened up opportunities for him, and you couldn’t be any happier.

“By the way, I have something for you.” A present? Again? Johnny took out a small velvet box he rested on a table. “Open it.” The box reveals an intricate gold ring, in the shape of an iris flower. The gold band looked like a rounded stem, the iris blooming at one end. It was beautifully detailed, it looked like a small flower gilded in gold. The gift and the gesture shocked you speechless, “Johnny, it’s...it’s beautiful.” was all you can say.

Johnny took the ring and placed it in your finger. “The auntie said Iris means promise and hope, but I bought it because it reminded me of you.” Iris is the scent of your perfume he loved so much, and the flower from the night where both of you opened up to each other. The ring fits perfectly in your left ring finger, glimmering in the yellow lights of the cafe.

“I love it. Thank you Johnny.” You planted a kiss on his cheek when a familiar voice calls you from across the cafe. “Y/N!” It was Kun. The sight of him made you warm and suddenly the café felt stuffy. He walked towards your table and invited himself to sit. “I was looking for you after the meeting.”

Suddenly, you felt a lump on your throat and couldn’t say a thing. As usual, he introduced himself to Johnny. “I’m Kun, I’ve been working with their agency since last month.” he held out a hand at Johnny, who pleasantly shook it, not knowing anything.

Kun would have had a clue that Johnny and you are together, just by the body language he witnessed. And as sharp as he is, he would know, from the instagram post he liked months ago. With what’s little left of you and your anxiety that’s starting to flare up, you briefly explained to Johnny the brand, and how he must have been given the project if he wasn’t in Singapore.

“Ah! You’re a photographer I see. Y/N and I, we used to be interested in it too in college.” Kun was running his mouth a little too fast to your dismay. “We go way back.” he emphasized. “College friends. It’s a shame I couldn’t make it to shoot for you.” Johnny said enthusiastically, still without a clue. You’re starting to feel wobbly, fidgeting with your hands and the fabric of your skirt. You clasped your hands tightly together, holding on to the bits and pieces.

“College friends,” Kun chuckled menacingly as he adjusted the watch on his wrist. “Or more than that.” Kun shot you a gaze that lingers, “This cafe, god, we would love to hang out in this cafe back in those days.” from you, his eyes scanned the vicinity of The Grind, his pronouns always referring to the both of you. Johnny glanced at you, catching up already. Kun wouldn’t stop, he pointed to one of the vintage vinyl records hanging on the wall, “I gifted her with a thrifted album on her birthday, and we’d play it every afternoon with a secondhand turntable. You must’ve known she loves music since then.” Kun directed the question to Johnny, making it a point to let him know that he knew you well. His lips formed into a smile, his dimples that you used to love, now two craters of chaos and menace.

Your discomfort must have been apparent in your face now. Johnny replied, “Well, I know Y/N loves music and records a lot, but I didn’t know how her favorite hobby started.” He smiled nonchalantly at Kun. He also noticed your hands clasping tightly on your lap, holding on to the bits and pieces. Johnny continued,  “But it’s okay, I have a lot of time ahead to get to know her better.” he rested a hand on your fidgeting hands, already red and throbbing. Wendy dashes into your table to serve your food. Kun nodded to Johnny and eyed you two intently. He ended his intrusion and stood up from the table, “Well, that’s my cue,” he fixed his shirt and grabbed his coffee cup, “I’ll see you two around.”

15 minutes. It took Kun Qian less than 15-fucking-minutes to single-handedly shook out the bits and pieces of you that you tried so hard to protect all these years. 17. Hand in hand, you and Kun ran to your university’s football field after your 2:00 PM class. It was a warm and sunny day, so people would play along the grass to kill time. You settled on a patch of grass away from the students playing ball, the discarded white curtain from your theater class as a makeshift mat.

Kun opened the suitcase record player he thrifted after giving you your first vinyl record. You placed the overplayed record on the spindle and positioned the stylus on the first track. The old thing started humming into life, its speakers gargling the song out.

Most of your university life is a variant of this moment—you and Kun, sweaty college students on a budget while enjoying a simple afternoon, bubble tea in hand, listening to your overplayed vintage record despite the vintage speakers seeing better days. Some days, the two of you would nap throughout the afternoon, until your next class. A football would hit you two occasionally, in between conversations about your dreams. This afternoon, perhaps the sun is just right and the wind blows softly, so you lie down on Kun’s lap and close your eyes as he reads a book. You wish you could live in this moment forever—warm sun, cool wind and Kun by your side. His gentle eyes grow brooding and sharp when he focuses on a book. A wind softly blew and he planted a kiss on your nose before he goes back to reading. You know for sure, nothing matters but this very, present moment.

——

The drive home was quiet. Johnny’s eyes are fixed on the road, the car lights reflecting on his deep and focused gaze. You fingered the iris ring he gave you earlier, staring at the window. Nobody said a single word. You never hated Kun so much as now.

When he pulled up at your apartment lobby, he finally said, “I would have appreciated it if you told me that you've been uncomfortable working with him for the past few days.”

Here it goes now. “I didn’t think it mattered, the project would have ended eventually, anyway.” You thought you’ll close this project and never see him again, but Kun was persistent.

“But he looked like he had other plans.” Johnny tapped the steering wheel, head shaking. He added, “And you look like fainting any moment, and you plan to just get it over with?” his voice rising up a little.

“Look, It's not like I want this to happen!” you snapped at him. “Everytime I see him, I get reminded of how bad it felt to be at my rock bottom state and it's suffocating Johnny.“

Suddenly, the bad feelings are back. You clenched your hands again—holding the bits and pieces of you together. Your throat is lumpy. Your eyes, an overflowing mess. Your mind, all over the place. 

Johnny wanted to hold and comfort you but he was also caught and confused at the moment. “I just want you to know that I don’t give a shit about him. I’m just worried about you.” He didn’t know exactly what happened between you and Kun, and he wishes he knows more than his girlfriend currently spiraling into a mental breakdown.

He tried to hold your shaking shoulders, “I’ll bring you upstairs so you can take a—“

You cut him off. “Break. I, I, need to take a break Johnny.”

Johnny pulled back, startled, and couldn’t say a word.

You went on, “This is too much for me right now. And maybe, maybe I’m not yet ready for this, I’m sorry.” you opened the car door and started running into your apartment building.

“Hey, Y/N, hey wait!” Johnny scrambled to get out of the car, but he was quick and was suddenly at his feet, stopping you in your tracks. “Why?”

You looked at him with red and tired eyes, “What, why?”

“Seven whole ass months and you’re not ready? Why cut me off? Why don’t you want me to help?” His eyes now merely holes of confusion, mouth open in surprise, hands tightened on your elbows.

You simply couldn’t answer him right now. You want to be as far away as possible, from anything, from anyone.

“I’m sorry. Please—“ you shook out of his grip violently and ran away from him.

18. Jae carried the box of your bridesmaids gown as you walked across the streets to his car. “Seriously, Y/N.” he continued scolding you, like the hour he’s running his mouth on you in the bridal shop isn’t yet enough, “Johnny just wants the best for you, why do you need to cut him off?”

“I didn’t cut him off, I just said, I needed a break!” you made your steps bigger so you can catch up on Jae. “You didn’t, but you haven’t talked for the past three weeks?” He was squeezing the box with his hands, the beautifully done bow now a mess. You hit his hand and took the box to carry yourself.

“Well Jae, I definitely needed more than a day to think over a relationship trauma?” you calmly explained, as the two of you stopped where his car was parked. “Kun wasn’t just an ex, I was with him for years before I even knew what I wanted or wanted to be.He’s a part of what makes me, me, now.”

Jae heaved a sigh and eyed the floor. He does this when you make a point, and both of you hate it when the other person is right. You continued, “I just wanted to clean up the mess that he carelessly swept off under the rug for the past five years.”

“Is that necessary, Y/N? And how are you going to do that?” Jae took out the keys to his car. “I’ll have to figure it out yet,” you started walking past Jae’s car, “and I’m going home by myself.” “Hey, hey.” Jae caught up to you and took the box from you forcefully. “Quit it! So dramatic, god, I’m taking you home!” he said, rolling his eyes as he pressed the keys to his car. ——

Spinning out, waiting for ya to pull me in I can see you're lonely down there Don't you know that I am right here? Johnny called it a day early from work, not even in the mood for drinks with Mark and Andy after a hard day’s work.

For the past seven months, he would fetch you from work and stay over. Sometimes a movie sounds like a good idea until he falls asleep on the couch, hand buried deep in a popcorn bowl. Sometimes, in true Johnny and Y/N fashion, you would get breakfasts for dinner. It has been three weeks of unlearning this routine for Johnny. Or maybe not unlearn, he’s not really sure. You asked for a break to think things over, and he gave it to you. He’s really not the gray area kind of person, always decisive and straightforward, but this is him meeting you halfway.

Johnny opened the door to his apartment and threw his things on his almost empty couch, your white oversized hoodie sprawled on one of the couch arms. He unbuttoned his shirt and headed to the bathroom to wash up—the loose door knob he thought of having repaired after flying back from Singapore, reminding him of you yet again. Everywhere he looks in his apartment, he sees you.

“Fucking crazy.” Johnny chuckled sarcastically. After washing up, he opened his closet to get changed and saw the gray tuxedo suit and grayish blue necktie he prepared with you for Katy’s wedding, which by the way, is happening tomorrow. 

Right, the wedding. Johnny forgot to change into fresh clothes. He sat on his bed instead, the city lights from outside his window reflecting on his bare upper body.

The suit gave him a thought. He pondered sending you a message. He grabbed his phone but before he could write anything, he remembered how Jae briefly recounted the deal between you and Kun over a few drinks—how Kun was your partner since college. Literally the person you build dreams with, and one day, he decided he’s better off finding his best self, without you. He at least understood a fraction of why you felt shook to the core on his return, so he just kept on waiting, and waiting, for three weeks now.

He started off his message with a nonchalant greeting, but he deleted it right away. It’s not as if these are normal times. He thought hard again, and knew exactly what he had to say, straightforward and simple.

—— “Do you want me to come with you on Katy’s wedding?” your phone lit up with Johnny’s message while binging a series, which you really couldn’t follow anymore because you are incredibly distracted.

Right, the wedding. You felt a little guilty almost forgetting Katy’s wedding. She sent you a bridesmaid’s package earlier, which is sitting unopened with your gown on the dining table.

It’s been three weeks thinking if a closure was necessary, but you haven’t spoken to Kun ever since the incident at The Grind. You just couldn’t bring yourself lifting a single finger again for him.

You abandoned your tv series completely and walked to your dining table. You opened the box of your dress first—the v-neckline organza gown that Katy fitted on the dress shop. But this one is in an ash gray color, and when the light hits, it turns into a subtle shade of blue. The bodice of the gown is peppered with silver rhinestones, the gems emitting tiny sparkles in between layers of organza. You remembered Johnny bought a suit to match your dress for Katy’s wedding day, slightly darker gray pair, and a light blue tie to match.

Opening up Katy’s gift next, the silver box tied with a powder blue ribbon had a Bluebell flower scented candle, tiny black sesame and blueberry flavored French macarons, and a tin of Earl Grey tea. You would know exactly what’s inside because Katy asked you to curate the things yourself being the “more visionary” between the two of you. In the bottom of the box, buried in shredded silver paper, is a note. You broke the wax seal with Katy’s initials on it and read the letter:

“My dear, Y/N. For formality, I’ve sent you a box of the gifts you so tastefully curated yourself.

Thank you, ever since the beginning. This is my gift for you.

STEP 6: Be happy.

I love you and I got you forever.

Katy”

19.  You walked down the aisle in the arms of Katy’s younger brother, the skirt of your gown flowing gracefully, not a fabric sliding in between the heels of your silver shoes. A thin, rhinestone headband holds the tastefully undone strands of your twisted chignon hairstyle.

The whole entourage is a sight to see—the ladies in dove gray gowns, holding bouquets of beautiful blue peonies. The gentlemen, dashing in navy blue suits and gray bow ties. The glass ballroom, which sits in the middle of a vast courtyard with wonderful flora and foliage, is dressed with blue hydrangeas, hyacinths and baby’s breath.

You sat among the rows of bridesmaids. Amidst the tower of flowers and attendees, you were looking around if Johnny decided to show up. Not that you are expecting him to, especially after refusing to communicate for the past three weeks. You checked your text message thread, the last message is what you sent him last night, “Only if you want to. I’d love for you to come.”

Maybe talking to him last night instead of fake-binge-watching a tv series would have been a better idea if you had the audacity to say “I’d love for you to come.” But you really would love to. The past weeks have just been really exhausting for you mentally. 

You never talked to Kun again, even out of courtesy, when he would visit the office. There’s not even a hint of hatred. There’s just—nothing. You thought about it over and over again. What would you need a closure for? The feelings you’ve felt before are the worst, yes, but there’s no no need to clean the mess up, because there is just nothing left now. He seems to already get the message anyway and from then on, his visits become less frequent, later on just condensed into twenty-word emails. Warm regards.

Katy walked down the aisle as the classical music swells—her eyes fixed on the man on the other side of the room, the love of her life. It was a golden moment, the present, promising a future. Seeing Katy this happy makes you happy as well.

“Step 6: Be happy.” she wrote in her letter. And yes, you have thought about it. You are now choosing to be happy. You have come a long way since step 5. The only way is one step forward.

You seem to take the vow alongside Katy and her husband to be, yes you are choosing happiness—from this day forward.

——

Yesterday, it finally came, a sunny afternoon I was on my way to buy some flowers for you Thought that we could hide away in a corner of the heath There's never been someone who's so perfect for me Katy, in high spirits from her marriage and champagne, is calling out names of her bachelorette friends for the bouquet throw. You hated these things. You casually headed towards the sliding doors of the hall to escape, but Katy caught your eyes and was on the verge of calling you. She flashed you a smile and nodded instead, letting you go.

You slid the glass doors open and were startled to see Johnny, who was meaning to enter the hall just as you were about to get out.

“Johnny.” it was the first time you saw him after wanting to take a break from your seven-months long relationship. 

“Sorry, I’m late.” Johnny smiled at you softly. You stepped out of the porch and slid the doors closed behind you. “Katy?” he asked.

“Drunk and hitting people with her bouquet.” You and Johnny chuckled as you saw Katy accidentally hitting a bridesmaid’s face with her bouquet. There was a short silence after, “Can we talk?”

He nodded and led you down the steps of the porch. You briefly walked along the cobblestone steps of a pathway in the courtyard sandwiched between rows of trees, leading to a small pond with floating candles and water lilies. Bushes of various flowers are planted around the area. Vintage iron lamp posts lit the pond beautifully at night. Johnny stood still across the edge of the pond and faced you.

“I think I overdressed for the occasion.” you laughed as he adjusted his powder blue necktie. He was wearing the crisp gray suit he bought with you before leaving for Singapore, purposely matching your ash gray gown. He brushed his hair up again, as usual, a comma of a strand, falling on his forehead.

“Didn’t want them to think you’re the groom do you?” You fixed the necktie he adjusted and put it in place, and swiped a loose thread away from his shoulders. Johnny’s eyes lingered at your face as you do this, noticing again the things he haven’t seen for a while—your lips slightly pouting when fixing something, your eyelashes thick and curled up gracefully, your eyes, how he loved your eyes, when it gazes on him and the light makes them look soft and gentle. He goddamn missed you a lot but he kept quiet and let you talk first.

“I’m sorry for shutting you out, that was careless of me.” You fiddled with your hands, already sweaty. 

“Kun was a thing of the past.” A monumental one at that, a lesson learned. Just a bad memory. But Johnny is here and now, “I’m just afraid of the slightest possibility of the bad things happening again to perfectly good things.” 

Johnny is still quiet. Waiting for the next words you’ll say, his brown eyes fixed on yours. You clenched your hands tightly in fists. “But if you will let me be more careful AND braver now, I’d love for us to work it out, day and night, tirelessly. I’ll work it out for you, Johnny.”

He held your anxious hands to stop them from shaking. “Y/N, when you get anxious, let me calm you down.” he squeezed your hands gently. You can feel the edges of your eyes getting watery. “I’ll make new memories with you with the things you used to love.”

He continues, “I want to be there in your good days, your bad days, your okay days and the days in between.” his right hand found its place in your neck, gently lifting your face up so your eyes can meet. “I can’t promise it will always be great days, but I’ll try my best.”

You’re goddamn crazy Johnny Suh. He wiped a tear silently escaping your glittered eye. “When we’re together, there’s fucking music playing,” he took out a stray eye lash on your cheek, “You are the record I’d love to listen to until it’s last spin, and I hope I am the same for you, too.”

Johnny Suh is the record you’ll wear out and try to find again soon if it gets broken. “You are absolutely it, Johnny. And I fucking love you.”

He caressed your hand and thought of something for a moment. He walked towards the flower bushes along the pond and plucked a lone blue iris flower by the stem. Johnny clumsily wrapped the stem of it on your ring finger and tied it in place—iris is the flower of promise and faith. The little bloom would take the place of the ring he gifted you for the meantime.

“I fucking love you too, Y/N.” Johnny laced his hands gently on your neck and lifted your face for a passionate kiss under the patio lights. 20. Johnny zips you off your gown and throws his suit jacket away. His brown eyes lingered on you as you slid off your organza dress while he unbuttoned his dress shirt. There are pairs of shoes and a necktie trailing from his apartment door. What’s left is your delicate lace lingerie pair and his suit pants.

His hands crawl from the palms of your hands, trailing your arms and into the crooks of your neck. He lifts your chin and leans in for a kiss—gentle but deep and passionate.

He caught a faint scent of your perfume as his soft and plump lips trails the curves of your neck, your breaths going deeper as he continues to the smoothness of your bare shoulders, his teeth unhooking your bra strap. Tonight, you can feel him wanting to go gentle and slow—retracing the edges of his and your desire in the midst of absence.

Johnny held the back of your head as he lay you down on his bed, taking a good look at your face before he dived into another kiss. In a minute, his lips flutter down your neck, and down to the slopes of your laced breasts. Your hands begin to rediscover the cuts of his body, which you loved to kiss, and the miles and miles curve of his back. Your nails dug deep into his skin when he would swirl his tongue against a nipple—the lace multiplying the sensations a thousand times.

You thought this could go on forever—his hands taking over the job of his tongue now as he starts leaving butterfly kisses on your tummy, onto your navel and pelvis, before sliding your lace panties off your legs. His hands still busy fondling your breasts, you open your legs for him as he starts wetting your folds repeatedly with a flat tongue. He didn’t need to do much but it was setting you into a spin already.

“Ugh, John…” you gently groaned, your hands slowly curling its way through his hair. He didn’t answer, but he swirled his tongue exactly where you wanted him to. “Yes, yes…”

You closed your eyes shut and arched your back as he ate you down to his liking, your muffled cries filling the silence of the room. He stopped at one point, and you opened your eyes to see him bringing his face closer to you. You almost feel disappointed until he smiles at you slyly and brings two fingers to tease your clit.

“Does this feel good?” he asked, eyes hooded and face flushed, as he massaged your sweet spot in a circular motion. 

“Yes, that feels so good,” you answered him, eyes closed, feeling his fingers’ every movement. “Just keep going.” and you found your hands reaching for the buckle of his belt.

Just as you undone his buckle, you opened your eyes to see him watching you easing into your high as he simultaneously rubs you to your most sensitive spot. “John, please, I—“ was all you could say when he stopped what he was doing, your pussy robbed and throbbing.

“Beautiful. Show me that beautiful face.” Johnny whispered with his deep, throaty voice as held your chin up and kissed you briefly. He stood up in a hurry to undo his dress pants. You can make him out despite the dark—he was as angry and aroused as you are and you're already dripping folds.

He leaned on you as he brought his tip to your entrance and closed his eyes shut as he pushed inside you tightly, getting a soft, muffled moan from you. Johnny would thrust with just the right force so you could feel him pushing in and pulling out, over and over. His left hand held to your cheek, to watch your face crying in pleasure, your breasts holding on to your bra, bouncing in every move. After one thrust, you found his mouth on your left breast fighting the lace fabric of your lingerie.

You held his face for a while to ask. “Can I ride you tonight, baby?” he nodded, his face now brooding and his brown eyes deep. With him still inside you, you rose slowly into a sitting position on top of and with him, your hands holding on his strong shoulders. His hands slowly travel the curve of your back as he unclasps your bra. Johnny sensually rubs his face on your neck, ot breaths and groans in between, as you slowly start to rock back and forth from him.

Your breasts move up and down and your loose curls gently fall on your shoulder as you push yourself in and out from him in rhythmic beats. Johnny held to your breasts and squeezed them tightly as you exchanged moans in every movement. “Harder, baby.” he asked you with misty eyes as you hammered into him harder. 

You threw your head back and rammed harder with each and every moan when you started to feel the sensation moving in and out of your body. Johnny held his hands tight to your hips, throaty whimpers coming from him. Beads of sweat slid down on his temples and chest. You could feel yourself climaxing at any moment but you would squeeze into him tightly and rock slower to retain the momentum.

“So fucking tight, love.” he whispered to your ear yet again, his breath hot against your neck. You could feel your insides throbbing and pulsating from the delayed pleasure. Johnny reached for a deep passionate kiss, his tongue working its way on your mouth. You could feel him growing inside of you. If you could push into him and deeper, you would, continuously, only for him.

You broke the otherwise delicious kiss because the pleasure is overwhelming your senses. “Johnny, fuck, I can’t take it anymore.” you whimpered as you rocked him gently again feeling yourself on the edge, “Come with me baby.”

Eyes fixed on your face in blissful agony, Johnny tightened his hands onto your waist to help you hammer into him. Muffled cries of pleasure escape your lips in every thrust and he would groan deeply in chorus. His length crushes against your sweet spot, “Shit. That feels so good.”

Johnny heaved a deep sigh and held your neck as he inched his face into yours closer, foreheads now resting on each other. “Don’t close your eyes and come with me love.” Your arms tightened on his shoulders, the two of you now chest to chest as well. You hammered into him with what’s left of your frail energy, bodies coiling upward in unison, skins raw and red in friction. Little muffled moans condensed into a hiccup, you and Johnny’s eyes locked together riding each others’ waves and pleasure blinding you both into oblivion.

You can feel his release, warm and dripping from your already wet womanhood as your shaking body collapses into his weight. You rest your head at the base of his neck, swooning, as you feel yourself throb continuously. Johnny’s weight falls on you too, his panting quick and his broad shoulders rising up and down. Your bodies entangled together, moist in sweat.

He pulled back to plant a kiss on your forehead, your nose, and your lips. As he look into your face, his honey brown eyes clear as water gazing into you, your feelings overflow. “God, I love you Johnny Suh.” 21. Afternoon. The soft sunlight of the golden hour emanates from your apartment window.

Johnny placed your Harry’s House record on your turntable and lowered down the stylus at the second track, the lemon-yellow record started spinning your most favorite song: When nothin' really goes to plan You stub your toe or break your camera I'll do everythin' I can To help you through He lay down on your couch as you placed a cup of coffee beside a tiny vase with a single yellow tulip, by the coffee table. You nestled yourself with him for an afternoon nap, and Johnny wrapped his left hand on your back as you buried your face on his oversized hoodie. You caught a whiff of his perfume—tobacco, tea, and jasmine, a scent familiar to you now.  You looked at him for a while and found comfort at his familiar face as well.

You made a whole new lot of familiar moments and memories. Bubble tea runs and grocery shopping, breakfasts for dinner, dirty jokes whispered while running down stairwells, vinyl records gifted in both special and ordinary days, and the list goes on. But afternoons like this are the moments you love so much—to lie still in silence, doing absolutely nothing but still look forward and reach for such familiar moments in the days to come.

You wouldn’t mind repeating these afternoons over and over again, like a record spinning continuously with your favorite song.

The golden hour sunlight hits your still, sleeping faces as the record reaches its last track, the needle mindlessly spinning continuously in the quiet.

[hanniiesuckle17]

Anything But Normal

A/n: this was such cute Idea I hope I did it justice. It’s been a while since I’ve written a comedy piece. There are probably spelling errors I’ll go back and fix them later. also I love Jon Favreau as Happy so I had to put him in. (i swear he is one of my favorite actors) btw this is not edited (i’ll come back and do that eventually)

Requested by: @tokiokiedokie​

Warnings: Cussing,(come on it's me guys), partial nudity.

Member: Han Jisung

Summary: When Y/n’s best friend goes through a drastic change he starts keeping secrets. Secrets that include him being New York’s one and only friendly neighborhood spiderman. Shit hits the fan when his new secret life is exposed and she gets dragged into it.

Genre: Spiderman!au, romance, comedy, friends to lovers!au, little bit of angst

There are only three things that truly matter in life. Good friends, good pizza, and a good story. So far I had two of those at the moment. Sadly I was lacking a good story. Our school newspaper had been quite dry despite my efforts to discover new and intriguing stories. 

“Stop sulking and eat.” My best friend said, shoving a piece of cheese pizza in my face. Jisung laughed when I bit the end before returning to look at my laptop. We were at our usual pizza place seated next to the window with the big bright red neon sign lighting up our faces. The sun set over the New York skyline making the moment almost perfect. If only I was writing an exciting article. Instead, I was putting together a riveting look into the school’s menu changes. 

“You know I invited you because I thought you were going to be good company.”

“Please. You invited me because Felix was busy with a stupid Lego project and no one else will eat pizza with you.”

“Whatever.”

Jisung and I weren’t the most popular people in our senior class. To be frank, Jisung was my only friend. So going out and eating pizza every other day at ten o’clock at night was often the highlight of my week. Having had enough of the lack of attention Jisung slammed my laptop closed and removed it from the already small table. “Hey! I didn’t save!” 

“That’s what Google Docs is for.”

He was right. I needed to stop working. I had been slaving over that stupid and boring article all week. He didn’t have to be such an ass though. “You are such a teenager.” I scoffed, watching him shovel yet another slice of pizza down his throat. “Oh, and you are such an adult!” The mocking tone of his voice threatened a laugh. 

“I swear you are God’s punishment for enjoying sex. Everyone’s libido just disappears when you are around.”

“Hey don’t ruin our date. I was considering sleeping with you tonight.”

He laughed when I threatened to smack him. It had been like this for as long as I could remember. Just me and Jisung. My parents had been friends with his before they passed away in a car accident. Now Jisung lived with his Aunt May and his Uncle Ben a few blocks away from me. 

I remember after the crash I would wake to a tap on my window to see an eight year old Jisung on my fire escape. Not wanting to bother his Aunt with his nightmares, Jisung had run all the way to my apartment and climbed the fire escape to my room on the sixth floor. I would open the window and let him sleep in my bed. My eight year old brain used to think maybe my bed was like force field keeping away the bad dreams about his parents.

“Hey, what are you doing tomorrow?” Jisung asked bringing me out of my thoughts. 

“Mr. Finoli asked me to take pictures of the science field trip so I’m going with you guys. Why?” A look of realization crossed Jisung’s face making him freeze. “Did you forget to ask May to sign your permission slip?”

“I forgot to ask May to sign my-...you can be a real ass sometimes, you know that?”

Laughing I pulled a ten out of my wallet and left it on the table. “Come on, you’ve gotta get your slip signed, dummy.” “I can pay, it’s no problem.” He said watching me pack up my stuff. “Nah, you can get the next one.” Bellies full of pizza, we left Tony’s Pizzeria and headed in the direction of Jisung’s apartment, his arm draped over my shoulder and talking my ear off about some random experiment they had done in Physics that day. 

The next day I woke up bright and early to meet the class at the New York Museum of Science. Camera bag on my shoulder and camera around my neck I stood outside the museum with about ten other students and two teachers. My tired eyes brightened when I saw Jisung step out from the subway, May right behind him.

I laughed as he wiped a kiss from his cheek before waving goodbye to her. His dyed blonde hair was messy and blew slightly in the wind. Jisung waved when he saw me and jogged over. His hoodie lazily hung off his shoulder and his shirt and jeans were somewhat wrinkled. “Don’t you look nice?” I couldn’t help but chuckle at his appearance. 

“Shut up.”

He laughed throwing an arm around my shoulder, leading me closer to the group. Soon the tour began and I busied myself with taking photos of the group for the paper and yearbook. Jisung followed the group, only half-listening to the teacher as he looked at other random exhibits. 

At around one in the afternoon, the group moved outside to have lunch on the steps. I sat off to the side with Jisung, his legs spread out across the stairs and his elbow rested on the step above us. It was refreshing to be next to him talking about absolutely nothing. Even if he stole my food. 

Eventually, we were all called back to resume the tour. I angled a shot of two students looking at a bug exhibit, but just as I took the picture Jisung jumped in the frame throwing up a peace sign and crossing his eyes. “Hey! Stop hitting me!” He yelled as I smacked his shoulder over and over again. “Look I’m just innocently observing the exhibit. Leave me alone crazy woman!”

Sighing, I pushed him away and resumed taking photos. As the group was moving onto the next room I noticed Jisung was missing. It wasn’t unlike him to wander off into a room he wasn’t supposed to just to look at probably like some DNA model or some other weird science shit. I could never get over the fact Jisung was super into science when he gave zero fucks about his other classes. 

“Jisung?”

“Ji?”

“Ji, we are moving on,” I said looking for him. My eyes landed on a semi-open door marked ‘Lab’. He wouldn’t. He did. Just as I started to walk towards the door, he exited with a goofy smile on his face. “Y/n! Dude, they have all these cool spiders and test tubes in there it was so cool! One of them bit me!” Like an excited three-year-old, he showed me his wrist where he indeed had a red spider bite. 

“Ooooooh! Take a picture!” 

He shoved my camera into my hands and held up his arm pointing to the spider bite making the dopiest smile. Knowing he wouldn’t shut up until I complied, I took the picture. 

“Let’s catch up with the group,” I said taking his hand and dragging him back to the class. When we reached the group a teacher looked over at us his brows furrowing. “Excuse me, Miss L/n, is your friend okay?” He pointed to Jisung, a concerned expression on his face.

“Jisung? There are certainly things wrong with him but he’s oka-”

My words stopped when I turned to look at my best friend next to me. “Ji- Oh my god! Ji are you okay?” His face had obviously paled and he looked dizzy. A thin layer of sweat lay on his forehead. 

“Hell yeah. I’m doing fine, baby.” His voice sounded drowsy.

“Miss L/n he is not alright. Does he have anyone who can come get him.” The teacher said pulling out his phone. I shook my head. May worked in the day and his Uncle Ben was on a business trip. “No, they are working.” 

He sighed and turned to me. Jisung was clearly getting worse by the second and was wobbling a little. “What about you? Can you take him home?” Jisung laughed and wrapped his arms around me loosely. “Fuck yeah, I’d her take me home.” 

“I have a test in my last period.”

“I’ll write you a pass and send it to your teacher. Take him home please.”

Nodding he typed something on his phone and returned to the group who had started to move once again. “Okay Ji, let’s get you back to May’s.” Slowly we started moving to the exit. Before we made it to the doors, Jisung practically turned green. He pushed away from me and burst towards the nearest restroom. 

“Jisung!” 

Ignoring the looks and yells I followed Jisung into the restroom and looked for the stall he was in. “Hey, lady get out of here!” A man standing at the urinal screamed. 

“Oh please. Get over yourself.”

“Ji?”

Following the coughing and gagging sounds, I pushed the final stall door open. Jisung sat on the floor his mop of blonde hair hanging over the toilet. I crouched next to him and rubbed his back gently. “Oh god, I hate puking.”

“Jisung everyone hates puking.”

“Yeah well.....your face likes puking.”

“Nice comeback.”

Feeling too terrible to respond, he just threw up the contents of his stomach again. When he seemed able to stand the two of us made our way outside and down the subway. Jisung leaned most of his weight on me as I slid my metro pass through the scanner. How I managed to get him through the turnstile and onto the metro I have no clue. Thankfully there was once last seat free for Jisung to sit down in. 

“Y/n, I don’t feel good.” 

“I know,” I said softly as he rested his head against my stomach. The train turned sharply making me hold onto the strap, not wanting to fall into Jisung. Soft whines and groans came from him every now and then. This was the worst I had ever seen Jisung. 

I listened to the stations being called out as I ran my fingers through his hair, hoping that would calm him down a little. We were only four stops away but more people were getting on the train. Jisung looked up at me a sick expression on his face. It changed when he looked at the passengers boarding the car. 

“Here, Ma’am. You can take my seat.”

“Thank you so much, young man.” An older woman said taking his seat as he got up. “Jisung, you feel terrible. Are you okay to stand?” He shrugged latching onto the strap next to mine, his face paling again. “I’ll be fine, it’s only four stops.”

Jisung’s eyes started to droop as the train started up again. His body began to act heavier than it was so he resorted to leaning on me and nestling his head between my neck and shoulder. I did my best to make sure he didn’t fall over.

“You two are very cute together.” The old lady said with a smile.

“Oh- we aren’t--” 

“You better hold onto a good man like that, sweetie. Handsome and kind. Those are hard to come by.”

Before I could respond we turned again, and I had to keep Jisung from falling in this poor nice old lady’s lap. I felt his skin burning against mine. Could this train not go any faster. Soon enough our stop came. I said bye to the old woman and helped Jisung get off the train and up the subway stairs. 

“Come on, Ji. We are almost there and we both know I cannot carry your ass.” 

Eventually, I made it up the stairs of his apartment building to the fourth floor and managed to drag him to his door. “Jisung, where’s your key?” Trying not to hurt his head I propped him up on the door frame. He laughed when I started searching through his pockets.  

“Y/n if you wanted to cop a feel just ask. That tickles.” 

“Jisung where are your fucking keys?” 

“Back pocket.” He said drowsily. I sighed and reached behind him. My hands searched through his jean pockets for the cold metal keys. “Having fun back there, because I’m sure enjoying it.” 

I suppressed the urge to punch him in the stomach out of fear he would vomit all over me. Finally finding his keys, I unlocked the door and threw my stuff inside, before lugging him in as well. Jisung leaned on the couch while I put my stuff on the table.

“Y/n it’s burning up in here.” 

“Jisung, you just have a temperature.”

“It burns like fucking hell! It’s too hot!”

Before I could stop him Jisung was shedding layers like a snake. He tossed his shirt somewhere in the small living room. He was sweating like crazy, his blonde hair sticking to his forehead. “Ji, come on let’s get you in the shower.” I started running a cold shower for him before rushing back to the living room to call May. It would only be a couple hours until she got home, but I should still let her know what’s going on.

While Jisung was in the shower, I grabbed some medicine from the cabinet. I had absolutely no fucking idea how to treat a spider bite. Antibiotics? Hearing the shower turn off I knocked before entering. Jisung had a towel wrapped around his waist and was leaning his head against the wall. “Y/n...”

“I’m right here, Jisung.” Cautiously I led him to his room and watched him collapse onto his double bed. Rummaging through his drawers I found some mostly clean sweatpants. “Ji, do you even do laundry?” 

“Y/n, I feel a little too fucking sick to do chores now.”

“I know. I know.” He slipped on the sweatpants and let me dry his hair. I wrapped his arms, covering the bite so it wouldn’t get more infected then it already probably was. Jisung’s temperature flipped like crazy. One minute he was burning up and the next he was freezing. 

A sigh of relief left my chest when I heard May call out in the apartment. “Y/n thank you so much for taking care of him.” She gave me a short hug before running to go get more meds. She would know better than I would, being an ER nurse. “Ji, do you want me to stay? I can call my parents and tell them I’m staying the night.” He slowly shook his head.

“No, it’s okay.” 

“I can stay really-”

“Y/n, I’ll be fine. You can go home.” 

He gave me a half-assed smile and squeezed my hand. There was no arguing with Jisung sick or not so I gathered my things and left. May promised to keep me updated and I told her I would have my phone next to me.

The walk back to my apartment seemed longer than usual. I couldn’t stop thinking about Jisung. When I got home, my parents greeted me before telling me they would be working tonight. My dad was a cop and my mom worked at a hospital downtown. It was rare they were even home, to begin with. Exhausted from taking care of Jisung, I rolled onto my bed and fell asleep.

This boy really texted me at five the morning telling me to meet him at his locker three hours later. If he wasn’t still sick I would for sure have throttled him. Except for the fact that Jisung didn’t look sick. Not at all. He looked perfectly healthy as he walked down the hall towards me. In fact, he looked...really....good. It pissed me off. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be sick?”

“Yeah, I got better.”

Jisung opened his locker like it was any other day and got his books. “What did you want to talk about?” He sighed and looked over at me. There was something different about him. Did his jaw always look like that? No. No jaw looks like that. 

“So this morning I woke up and like I felt completely fine. In fact, I felt the best I have in years. And this weird thing happened to me on the subway-”

Jisung’s words were interrupted by the sound of his locker closing, only the entire row of metal lockers rattled as his shut. “The fuck? Did we have an earthquake or something?” I asked looking around. “What? No. New York isn’t on a fault line.” Shrugging it off I turned back to Jisung.

“You were saying?” He seemed distracted now, looking at his closed locker. “Ummm.... I wanted to thank you for yesterday.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. “Ji, you don’t need to thank me. I’ll always take care of you if you need me.” As I pulled away his hands stayed on my waist, which wasn’t totally out of the norm. Jisung was always a really touchy and flirty person. It drove me crazy sometimes, knowing that it was just his personality and not him acting on something else. 

“So this weird thing happened on my way to school this morning. My hand-” Again Jisung was interrupted. This time by the bell ringing for homeroom. “Hey Jisung, I’ve gotta go, but you can tell me at lunch right?” He nodded, his expression becoming more uneasy. As I turned his grip on my waist stopped me.

“Ji, I know you wanna tell me now but I have to go!” I said with a laugh. A nervous breathy laugh escaped his lips as he tried to pull away from me. “Well, you know how hard it is for me to keep my hands off of you.” Arching an eyebrow I chose to ignore his weird behavior and walked off to my homeroom. 

When the lunch bell finally rang I took my food outside to where Ji and I normally ate. However, he was nowhere in sight. As if he could read my thoughts, my phone notified me of a text from Jisung.

Lix asked me to help him with some Chem work. Sry I can’t eat with you :(

I sent him a quick reply saying it was okay. It wasn’t the first time I had eaten alone and it surely wouldn’t be the last. To no surprise, Chaeyoung and one of her friends walked by. “Have you seen that kid? What’s his name? Jihyun?” She said in her shrill voice. It was hard not to hear her conversation even from twenty feet away.

“No, I think his name is Jisung. Han Jisung. He is in my physics class. Kind of a dweeb if you ask me.” 

“Well, that dweeb filled out. He was probably just a late bloomer, but like all of a sudden, he got really hot. Have you seen his arms and his chest? Oh my god! A girl could die.” 

The girls laughed and continued to objectify my best friend. They were right. Jisung had seemed to have had a huge glow up overnight. His lanky form did seem more toned and his arms were much more muscular than I remembered. 

“Can you believe he still hangs out with that new junkie girl? Like, please. He could get any girl he wants now. Why stay friends with that waste of space?” 

“That bitch is so full of herself. Literally, no one even likes her.” Chaeyoung said laughing. Having heard enough, I got up and decided to go to my next class early. It didn’t necessarily bother me what she had said. Chaeyoung always liked to mess with me.

All my classes seemed slower than usual and Jisung was answering my texts. At this point in the day, we would probably be having a meme war or a stupid conversation ignoring our teachers, but my phone was silent. Not a single notification. 

By the end of the day, I was feeling totally depressed. English was my last class and thank god I had it with Jisung. No doubt he would be late though. He rarely ever showed up on time to class. But, as I walked through the classroom door I did a double-take seeing my best friend in his usual seat right beside mine. 

He gave me an innocent smile. This was strange. Jisung was never early. He looked...normal. I mean other than the physical overnight puberty storm. He slouched in his chair his long legs spilling into the aisle, not that he cared, and he twirled a pen between his long slender fingers. 

“Yo, wassup, cutie?” He said as I sat down. “You seem to be the talk of the school.” He shrugged and shuffled through some physics work he had on his desk. “You jealous?” That stupid smirk appeared on his mouth. “No. Just confused.”

“Okay, class. Settle down. We are going to be returning to our analysis of Austen’s novel Sense and Sensibility.” 

I busied myself with taking thorough notes knowing Jisung would just fall asleep again or just play a random game on his phone. The teacher droned on making a seemingly not boring book a complete snooze fest. The lecture continued without end threatening to send me to sleep as well. Out of habit, I looked over at Jisung, except he was not asleep. Jisung was wide awake and he appeared to be listening intently. 

As if he sensed I was looking at him he turned and smiled at me before returning his attention to the front of the classroom. This was too weird. Where was my Jisung? Maybe he was still sick. That could explain the weird behavior, right? 

The harsh sound of the release bell brought me out of my thoughts. Jisung was already packing up his stuff. “Hey, you wanna stop by Tony’s on the way home? You can buy me a slice!” I said latching onto his arm. The girls were right. Jisung had filled out. Feeling myself starting to blush, I let go and looked back up at my best friend. 

“I can’t. I’ve gotta run some errands fro May and then Uncle Ben asked me to pick up dinner and some other stuff.”

“I can come with you?”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll text you later!” 

Without another word, Jisung raced out of the classroom. I knew Jisung pretty well and it was clear he didn’t want me around today. Alone-again- I rode the subway back to my apartment to be greeted by an empty living room. My mom had left a note on the counter leaving me money for dinner and saying Jisung was welcome to come over. “Yeah, well he’s too busy,” I said to no one in particular. 

It got dark pretty quick. All my homework was finished. I even managed to submit the stupid article on lunch menus. Eventually, I had nothing to do but stare at my ceiling. The news was getting pretty boring. After the whole Avenger’s fiasco, things had quieted down, and no interesting stories were in sight. By 11:30 I had given up hope Jisung was going to text let alone call so I did the next best thing. 

“Hi, May! Is Jisung busy?” 

“Hi, sweetie! Jisung got home about an hour ago. He said he was out with Felix. Should I tell him to call you?”

“No, no. It’s fine. You don’t have to tell him. I’ll talk to him later.”

“Okay, honey. Goodnight!”

Han Jisung you filthy little liar. If he didn’t want to hang out with me he should have just said so. Deciding I had finally had enough of this awful day I curled up under my covers and fell asleep.

Months had now passed and Jisung had started acting normal again. Well as normal as Jisung could be anyway. Our near daily trips to Tony’s had decreased to only twice a week and Jisung always seemed to be busy after school, though he made sure to text me back for fear of facing my wrath. 

“What do you think of this Spiderman guy?” I asked typing away on my laptop. Jisung lounged across my bed, the Saturday afternoon light casting a warm glow over his face.  He looked up from his place beside me. “Uhh...I don’t know. What do you think of him?”

“He seems a little childish and amateur, but he is a great story. Vigilante helping out downtown New York? That’s gold.”

“Childish? What do you mean childish? He’s professional as fuck. I heard he stopped a bank robbery the other day.”

“Yeah, and they found the criminals hanging from a lampost by their underwear.”

Jisung laughed and ran a hand through his blonde hair before looking up at the ceiling. “You’ve been talking about Spiderman a lot lately. What do you have a crush on him?” I scoffed, fingers flying across my keyboard. “Please. I don’t date children. Besides, I just think he is a great story.”

“You wanna order takeout?” Jisung asked reaching over me to get my phone. My dad was on duty and my mom was on call so Jisung had come over to keep me company. I did my best to pretend I didn’t notice how amazing he smelled as he leaned over me. “You know you should really stop eating junk food. You are what you eat.” I said distracting myself from how close he was.

“Well then if we are what we eat, I guess I would be fast, cheap, and easy.” 

Jisung winked at me, making my eyes roll. Jisung had grown at home in his new body and somehow he got even cockier than he was before. He groaned at my lack of response and instead let his head rest in my lap, giving him a good view of my screen. “Play with my hair, bitch.”

“Excuse me, dick. I’m working.” He laughed and unlocked my phone. I often wondered why he liked just sitting with me. I think I remembered him telling me once that he liked the sound of me typing. He said it had sort of a rhythm that only belonged to me. How he could pick up on that I had no clue. Like he had superhearing. 

“I ordered sushi. Don’t worry, I’ll pay.” Jisung said, adjusting his body slightly so he wasn’t at an awkward angle. I smiled continuing to write about our masked arachnid hero. “Please tell me you got boba too.” I sighed suddenly craving the sweet drink.

“Of course, baby. I’ve got you.” 

There was a moment of silence. Any minute now Jisung was going to break it. The boy couldn’t go three minutes without talking. “Do you think Spiderman is hot?” Jisung blurted out. 

“Jisung...do we need to have a talk?”

“What- no! Oh, what- no! I mean like do you think he’s hot?”

“The guy wears a mask; how am I supposed to know?”

He shrugged and played on my phone. “I don’t know. What do you think he looks like?” With Jisung’s mind, he wasn’t going to drop this until he got an answer. Saving my work, I closed my laptop and moved it onto the side table. “He’s probably like thirteen. I’m mean he is skinny enough to be a pre-teen.”

“No, like his face.”

“You are weirdly obsessed with this you know.”

“Answer the question already. I’m getting bored.”

I thought for a minute, my hand unconsciously moving to run through his blonde locks. What would spiderman look like? “He is probably just some random white dude. Dark hair, blue eyes maybe?”

He nodded, seemingly satisfied with my answer. The topic changed after that. Jisung told me about spending time with his Uncle earlier that day and we talked about his weird physics experiments. Soon enough, the food came and Jisung paid for it like he said he would. We spent the next several hours sitting in my bed eating sushi, drinking boba, and watching a drama Jisung insisted I ‘needed to see or my brain would explode out of my ears from being lame’.

After several episodes, my room was obscenely dark and my parents had yet to come home. My back rested against Jisung’s chest letting me feel the vibration of his laughs. “Hey, it’s late. You should probably head home.” He smiled when I made no attempt at moving or letting him up. “Do you want me to stay?” “Yes  please.”  He chuckled and pulled out his phone, calling his uncle and letting him know. 

Soon I began to grow tired, my head slumping back onto his shoulder. He poked my side, trying to wake me up. “Hey, go change for bed.” Sleepily, I nodded and shuffled out of bed to sift through my closet for a nightshirt. Jisung moved around getting comfortable while I changed. 

As I walked back over to the bed Jisung shut my laptop and placed it on my nightstand. When I climbed back into my bed he pulled me on top of him, wrapping his arms around my waist. It had been quite a while since Jisung had stayed over. It felt so nice just to be next to him, feeling the warmth radiating off his bare chest. The sound of his heartbeat lulled me to sleep. 

Jisung’s ringtone blared in my small room quickly waking me up. “Ji-” I said shoving my head under the covers. “I got it. Go back to sleep.” A quick glance at my clock told me it was two am. Who the hell was calling Jisung at two am? Jisung reached over me and grabbed his phone off the stand. He tried not to move a lot because my head still lay on his arm. “Hello?”

“Happy? What’s wrong?”

“Jisung tell the Disney dwarf to hang up. I wanna go back to sleep.” I whined, drowsily. Snuggling back into his chest, I reluctantly listened to him sleepily talk on the phone, Jisung not being fully awake himself. “Where am I? I’m at Y/n’s.....Yes....Yes, you can add the location to the list.” I felt Jisung run a hand through his fluffy hair and sigh.

“Mr. Stark said what? Yeah, yeah I have it in my bag....What now?....She’s gonna kill me....I can be there in ten.” Jisung hung up and started to get out of bed. “Woah, where the hell are you going? I need my personal space heater.” Jisung let out a tired laugh as he slipped his baggy shirt back on and rummaged through his bag looking for something. 

“I’m really sorry, but I have to go.”

“Jisung who the fuck is calling you at two am? What is so important that you have to leave?” I asked still not really awake and comprehensive. “Uhhh....my....internship.”

“Your what?”

“My internship.”

“Your what?” 

“My internship.” 

“Yeah-Ji- you keep saying ‘your internship’ like my half-asleep half murderous mind will understand what your saying.”

 “I got an internship with Stark Industries. They have uh... a problem....with some of the...code that I wrote....last week.” 

Jisung started slipping his socks back on as I stared at him in confusion. “When did you get an internship with freaking Tony Stark -You work with Ironman?!” He laughed and started searching for his shoes. 

“Y/n, go back to sleep. I’ll see you on Monday.” Then he left. I was alone once again in my room. A random siren went off in the distance and I just sat in bed. Suddenly, the police scanner on my dresser crackled to life. My dad had given it to me for my birthday a few years ago. 

We have a 647g Disorderly Conduct at 284 Hickom Av.

647g? Why bother calling that in at this time of night? That was just loitering. Sighing, I got up and walked over to turn the radio off. Another voice coming through stopped me. 

Disregard suspect has left the premise with another group of guys. Headed south down Hickom. 

South down Hickom street? What had my dad said earlier this week? Something about several high arms deals going down near there. If I could catch one in the act this would be a great story! Throwing on some pants and slipping on my sneakers, I grabbed my camera and put on my jacket. “Finally a great story!” 

Hickom Avenue was maybe about ten minutes away. The streets were pretty dark at two am, but it didn’t really bother me. My curiosity overpowered any fear I should have. My eyes scanned the area looking for any sign of the guys the scanner mentioned. Just as I was about to cross in front of an alley I saw them. Quickly I doubled back and pressed against the wall. 

“If I’m paying 4k for some lightsaber shit, I’d better get a demonstration, man.”

Carefully I peeked around the corner. Seven men stood in the hallway. Three were next to this heavy-duty van with blacked-out windows. This was definitely an arms deal if I had ever seen one. Which....to be fair...I hadn’t. But it was pretty clear. 

A guy with muscles bigger than my head pulled out a large weapon with green glowing lights. Quickly I pulled out my camera and started snapping pictures. They proceeded to fire this huge light cannon around the alley. Holy shit. This thing was powerful.

“Okay, you got a deal. I’ll take four-”

Let’s dance the night away,

Let’s  dance the night away,

Yeaaaahh

One, Two, Three! Let’s go!

“Fuck,” I whispered ripping my phone out of my pocket and struggling to turn it off. “Turn off, come on.” Finally, I silenced the phone and turned to see if they had heard. Instead my eyes met a broad chest only a couple inches away. 

Okay....think, think, think. Too busy panicking. Can’t think. Uhhhhhh......fuck. I followed my first instinct and threw a punch at the guy’s nose. His head did not recoil like it was supposed to. He just simply cracked his neck and glared down at me.

Okay.....instincts bad.

Before I knew it I was struggling against the man’s grip as he dragged me into the alley. “We’ve got a visitor.” He said throwing me onto the ground in front of all the other men. They sneered and inched closer clearly quite upset I had interrupted their little party. 

“Make that two. Hey, how are you guys doing?” 

All heads turned to the roof of the liquor store we were next to. My eyes widened. There was Spiderman. Complete with the red and blue suit and cocky childish attitude. “Who the fuck are you?” The buff guy, who now had his foot digging into my stomach, said.

“Bro....Come on. I’m Spiderman. You know. I shoot webs and kick ass.” 

“Isn’t he that guy from YouTube that did the flip on that building?”

“OH MY GOD, THAT WAS ONE TIME!”

The man scoffed and pressed further onto my stomach, making me wince slightly. “Scram, Arachne Boy.” The men around me laughed at I assumed the leader’s joke. The hero sighed and shook his head.

“See now I have to beat you up. You can’t just make fun of my name. That shit hurts, bro.”

“What the fu-” Before he could finish his sentence a web shot and grabbed onto his face and flung him into the side of the building. Soon a fight broke out. Trying to remove myself from the situation I crawled away as Spiderman fought all the men. 

“Ah!” 

A strong hand grabbed the back of my neck and hoisted me off the ground. “You aren’t getting away that easy, little girl.” The man sneered. A huge welt was on the side of his face from Spiderman’s attack. My airway’s started to close as he squeezed tighter. My hands tried to pull his fingers away and slapping at any place I could reach. Meanwhile, the last thing I would hear before I died would be Spiderman yelling something about Naruto running a dude into the next Millenium. 

As the edges of my vision started to fade, I heard another voice come closer. “Get your fucking mutant hands off her!” It screamed. I was dropped to the ground. Air filled my lungs as I took huge gasps. Looking up I saw Spiderman taking on the huge monstrosity of a man with nothing but his own two hands. 

“I was told never to play with guns. But I think today might be the exception.”

A web shot out of his fingertips and pulled the weird contraption into his hands. A bright light emitted and fired at the man, blasting him into the building wall. Within seconds Spiderman had wrapped up the villain in a little cocoon of sticky webs, keeping him secure. A quick look around told me he had already done the same to the others. 

The boy in the red suit danced around like a weirdo, while I sat on the ground. “Go Spidey! Go Spidey! Hell yeah! I made all of you my bitches!” I coughed still trying to get air back into my lungs. The white eyes on his mask widened. It must be some pretty advanced tech in that suit.

“Holy shit- Are you okay, Y/n...........I mean...wait-...random citizen I don’t know who means nothing to me personally. Are you okay?”

His voice weirdly got lower halfway through his sentence. Dazed, I looked back up at him. He offered me a hand up and gratefully I took it. “Thanks for helping back there,” I said, voice coming out a bit sore. He shrugged and puffed out his chest. 

“Yeah, I did kick some serious ass didn’t I?”

Rolling my eyes, I grabbed my camera and started to walk away. “Wait! Where are you going?” He swung from a lamppost and landed in front of me the suit’s eyes widening and shrinking again. His suit must have facial readers or something. 

“I’m going home. I’ve got my story; I’m done.”

“Hey it’s not safe. Let me take you home. What would your friends say if you weren’t at school tomorrow?” 

Spiderman continued to follow me as if he were a lost puppy. I laughed when he almost tripped over a trashcan. “Okay, one- how do you know I’m a student? And two- I don’t really have any friends. People don’t like me at school.” He stopped in his tracks. 

“What do you mean- Are you getting bullied at school?” His words stopped me. He sounded genuinely concerned. By now we were halfway to my apartment. I simply stared at him as the old streetlights flickered and struggled to light up the sidewalks we were on.

“A couple people bother me, but I just ignore them. Look I’m gonna go home. Thanks for back there. You were a real hero.” 

He looked between me and my hand as I stuck it out for him to shake. Slowly he took it, his grip firm, but cautious. “You know, usually heroes get a thank you kiss for rescuing such a gorgeous girl.” I scoffed and pulled my hand away. 

“Sorry, Spidey. I’m not interested in cocky little shits who run around wearing masks.”

“Yeah well, you’d be surprised. What is your type? Bet, I’m still it.”

My eyes lit up thinking about him. “I guess I’m more of the boy next door type. They say you always fall for your best friend right?”

He blinked as if he was processing my words. What I thinking? A horny fourteen-year-old boy wouldn’t understand. “Night, Spidey. Thanks for the save.” Not letting him say another word, I headed back to my apartment. My apartment was still empty when I returned. My parents wouldn’t be back until after I left for school in a few hours. Reluctantly I went back to my bed, missing the space where Jisung lay only a few hours earlier. It was harder to fall asleep without him next to me.

My legs carried me as quickly as they could. I ignored the crazy looks from people on the street as I raced to May’s apartment. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I burst through the building’s main entrance. Knowing the elevator would take too long and it was probably broken again, I took the stairs up to the fourth floor. 

The door was unlocked when I ran into the apartment. “May? May!” I called, looking for her in the living room. Hearing small cries I turned to find her exiting the kitchen. With open arms, I let her hug me and cry into my shoulder. 

We sat in the kitchen in silence. Occasionally one of our cries would slip, but the emptiness would return. He wasn’t answering any of my calls. I was beginning to worry. May said they were together. Where was he? It had been hours since May had called me. The sound of the door opening made us both stand from our seats. 

Jisung walked in with heavy shoulders and blood on his forehead and smeared across his shirt. He had dried tears staining his cheeks. I had seen the footage of the shooting on the news with May, but the sight of Jisung standing before us made my heart break. 

I held myself back as May went to her nephew. They needed each other. I could wait. Whispers between the two were shared, most likely about her husband. She had already gotten a call, but hearing it from Jisung seemed important to her. After a moment she excused herself, saying something about wanting to go to bed. 

The two of us stood in silence. I had no idea how to comfort him. How could you comfort someone who just watched their uncle die? Jisung started to slowly move towards his room. Wordlessly, I followed. 

After I closed his door, I turned to find him staring at the walls small cries coming from his form. There were pictures of him and his uncle all over his room. Jisung sighed when I wrapped my arms around him from behind. He turned around so he could hold me to his chest. Hot tears fell against my neck as he cried. 

It felt like hours before he calmed down. Gently I led him over to the bed and sat him down. All he could do was stare at his hands as I grabbed a clean shirt from his closet and a wet cloth from the bathroom. There was no fight from him as I lifted the bloodied shirt from his body and put it in the hamper. 

Carefully, I lifted his chin and gently started cleaning the blood away from his face. I tried not to wipe away the tears that slowly ran down his cheeks. He looked broken-and tired like he hadn’t slept even before today’s events. My heart shattered when he finally looked me in the eye. 

“I’m not ready for this.” He whispered, more tears falling. 

Wrapping my arms around him, I let the clean shirt fall to the floor. “I know...” I tried to keep tears from falling from my own eyes. I concentrated on running my fingers through his hair and how tightly he held onto my waist. “You’re never going to be ready for it.” He cried even harder, making me want to scream for him. 

Slowly, I laid back onto his bed, holding him on top of my chest. “No one is ever ready for what you are going through,” I whispered. His body shook from crying and he buried his nose into my neck, holding onto me as if I were the only tether keeping him from floating away. “But, you are so strong. We aren’t faced with challenges we can’t overcome.” His breathing started to steady as my hand traced patterns on this bare skin of his back. “Sometimes I wish I was normal,” He whispered.

“Ji, you are anything but normal. And that’s okay. But for now...you can just be here. I’ll be with you. When you’re ready you can do whatever you need to. But...just stay here for now.”

He nodded and held onto me even tighter. I listened to his breath, gently rubbing his back and playing with his hair. When I knew he was asleep, I let myself do the same. Tomorrow would be another day. I would most likely have to leave and let Jisung and May grieve, but for now, I could be with him. Hopefully, that was enough. 

Early the next morning, I woke up to an empty bed. Jisung’s covers were loosely wrapped around me and his window was cracked open, letting a strip of sunlight in. Slowly, I sat up and rubbed my head. It was quite unusual for him to be up this early. Well, it was quite unusual for me to be up this early, but it was like my body had a sensor for when he was gone. I pulled my phone from the table and started to text him.

The sound of the window opening caused my attention to turn. I froze as I saw Jisung climbing through the window. “What the fuck!” He froze when he saw me. My eyes widened, taking the sight in. Jisung was standing before me wearing a familiar red and blue suit, a mask in his hand. 

“Y/n, I can explain...”

Was Jisung Spiderman? Was my best friend Spiderman? Holy shit! “Okay explain!” He simply stared at me, eyes wide. His hand came to scratch the back of his neck. His eyes avoided mine as my arms crossed my chest. 

“Jisung, might I suggest explanation protocol #38 for Miss L/n?”

“Oh my God! Friday, shut up! You aren’t helping.”

I watched as Jisung said to the AI apparently in his suit before he tossed the mask onto his desk. “You have an explanation protocol for me?” The look on his face showed that he knew he was in trouble. 

“See the thing is...I’m not Spiderman-...” He stopped when I glared at him. “Okay, I am Spiderman. This is my internship with Mr.Stark.” Without hesitation, I got up from his bed and started slapping his arm.

“This doesn’t even hurt, does it? You have superstrength. Oh my god, I’m going to fucking murder you.” An aggravated sigh left my chest. “So this whole entire time you have been swinging around the city saving people and doing flips on buildings and I was none the wiser?” I said turning back to him.

“That was one time! But...yes.” He stood awkwardly in his own room. “Look, I’m sure you have a lot of questions.” He gulped when my stern gaze turned back on him. “So, anything you ask I’ll answer.” 

“Who else knows?”

“Mr. Stark, Happy- the guy who is my supervisor-, and Felix.”

“FELIX?”

He flinched as my voice raised. Taking a breath, I calmly sat back down on his bed. He watched as I crossed my legs and turned off the sound on my phone. No way was I gonna let my parents interrupt this conversation. “How did you become like...this...” I asked pointing to his clearly toned physique.

“At first I thought it was just like another puberty thing. But, like puberty doesn't make me shoot webs out of my hands. I think it was that spider from the lab.”

“So do-...are all your...bodily fluids...like...webs? Like do you shoot webs out of everywhere or-”

“You wanna find out?” Jisung said with a smirk, coming closer. I did not hesitate to slap him. 

“You couldn’t think of a better name though? Spiderman, really? You couldn’t come up with something more aggressive?”

“Well, I mean...like - spiders are cool, okay!”

I could tell he was uncomfortable. Usually, Jisung always stood up straight and had some sort of a smile or smirk on his face, but he was truly nervous. He watched me expectantly, waiting to answer whatever questions I asked next.

“So when you said you were away on a company retreat for the weekend. That was actually you who was fighting Captain America and all that shit in Prauge?”

“Yes.”

“When you left that night, did you go to the arms deal?”

“Yes.”

“So, it was you who saved me.”

“Your welcome.”

“Don’t push it.”

Nervously, he let out a laugh. No matter how many questions I asked...he was still my best friend. I was proud of him. He was doing so much good. Don’t get me wrong I was still very pissed at him for not telling me. “You owe me pizza at Tony’s for the rest of the fucking year.” A sigh of relief left his chest and he wrapped me in a hug. 

“That’s fine by me. I’m honestly surprised you didn’t ask about the whole crush thing.” I pulled away to see that fucking smirk on his mouth. “I think it’s cute you’re in love with me.” He tugged me closer to his body, gripping my waist.

“Who says I’m in love with you?”

“Me.”

“You’re an asshole- you say a lot of stupid shit.”

“I’m an asshole, not a liar. There’s a difference.”

My breath caught in my throat when I saw his eyes glance down to my lips. I could practically feel my heartbeat pulsing through my entire body. It was true and he knew it. I was in love with him. “Well....what are you going do about it? Prick...” I said in a shaky breath. He let out a soft laugh, his eyes lighting up. 

“Kiss you....bitch.”

My heart went crazy as he pressed his lips to mine. Closing my eyes, I melted into his touch. This was definitely the craziest two days of my entire life. I never would have imagined I would have to comfort my best friend, find out he was a superhero running around New York, and then have him kiss me in his bedroom.

Jisung smiled as I kissed him back, draping my arms around his neck and threading my fingers through his blonde hair. Never in my wildest dreams had I thought kissing Jisung would be like this. Without his mouth leaving mine he pushed me up against the wall of his bedroom. He sighed when my teeth caught his bottom lip.

“Fuck...do you know how long I’ve thought about this?” He asked before returning to my lips. 

“Kissing me?”

“To be honest I’ve been thinking about more than that since I was thirteen.”

Ignoring my scoff, Jisung continued to attack my lips like he had found water for the first time after walking in a desert. His hands slid under my legs, making me shriek when he picked me up. In one swift motion, he turned around and threw me onto his bed, before hovering over me. “I love you,” He whispered, before placing a soft kiss on my lips. Slowly, he moved down to my neck, my hands running through his soft hair. Impatiently, I pulled him back to my lips. 

Our little makeout session was interrupted by the sound of Jisung’s phone ringing. He sighed and dropped his head onto my shoulder. “I have to get that,” He sighed and pushed himself off the bed, walking over to pick up his phone. My eyes couldn’t help but rake over him. Now, I could freely ogle how gorgeous his body was. I bit my lip, looking at the lines of his broad shoulders go down to his slim waist.

“Happy, now is not a good time.”

“Yes....among other things...” A blush flooded his cheeks as he looked back at me still laying on his bed. 

“Can’t Mr. Stark send someone else?”

“I’m not just going to up and leave.”

Getting bored, I got up and wrapped my arms around him. He tried to look over at me, but I just buried my face in his chest. Patiently, I waited for him to finished the call with Happy. Finally, he threw the phone onto his bed and kissed me again. “Do you have to go?” I asked against his lips. He pulled away another smirk filling his face.

“You want to go to Berlin for a week?”

“What?”

“Mr. Stark needs me in Berlin. Something about S.H.I.E.L.D and an Avenger thing. But, there is no way May will let me go. Especially after yesterday.”

“Why am I going?”

“Happy said I could take you with me, you know to convince May to let me go.”

I laughed and kissed him again. “Sure. I’ll go to Berlin with you.” He laughed and spun me around the room. “However, you are gonna be the one to tell my dad that we are going alone with no chaperone to a country where the drinking age is sixteen.” 

“Fuck.”

“Good luck, Ji.”

Requests are open, just send an ask my lovelies!

Masterlist

[archadianskies]

Whumptober Day 23

Exhaustion + Sleep Deprivation  → part of the MT-RK900

Whumptober Masterlist | 23/31 of RK900 short stories ↳ on Ao3

Tags:  Post-Pacifist Best Ending x Exhaustion x Sleep Deprivation

{Character sheet + bonus art here, and here. }

It starts small, starts as barely noticeable symptoms that can easily be mistaken for something else. Nothing is easily mistaken to him, nothing is ever dismissed casually, not when he deals with people’s lives on a daily basis. That includes the lives of his colleagues too, and today, specifically, it involves the lives of his human colleagues.

“Dr Fitzpatrick, you are exhibiting the initial signs of influenza.” He tells his senior, the Director of the trauma unit and his attending leader for the shift. “It is best to take precautionary measures and time off to recuperate whilst removing yourself from possibly infecting others.”

“What?” She blinks at him, brows creased and lips pursed in a frown. “It’s been a long shift, that’s all.” He says nothing, though his expression must say a lot because her frown deepens. “You’re sure?”

“With adequate care you will recover much quicker and stop the spread amongst our colleagues, than if you were to continue working and possibly, quite rapidly, infect others.” Ronan says evenly. “Influenza season is already underway, we are treating more and more patients everyday and we have had three deaths already.”

She gives him a long hard look, searching his face for some sort of reaction before she sighs tiredly. “Are there others on the team you think might have it?”

“There are four possible nurses, one clerk, and two registrars also exhibiting early signs.” Ronan informs her and she groans into her hand, rubbing her temples. 

“It’s not up to me to give others time off, you know.”

“I know. But you can speak to the right staff, and I can give them my findings.” He nods.

“We’re run off our feet already, and you’re rostered at Jericho for the next three days!”

“I can change that. Androids are not susceptible to influenza, and aside from the cold weather affecting some of the older models, we weather winter well.” He glances at the door. “If you can help arrange it, I will stay on for the week and use mainly a team mostly made up of the other android nurses here, minimising the risk of infection amongst the staff.”

“Ronan, you- that’s insane! No one can work an entire week, especially not in trauma!”

“No human can, but I am not human.” Ronan reminds her gently, and he knows she is tired and she knows he is counting on this. She relents, shoulders sagging.

“Four days. Not seven. Four, and I will aim to be back by then.” She points her finger at him accusingly. “Don’t you dare take on more than you can handle. You’re the best trauma surgeon I’ve ever worked with, so god help me if you run yourself ragged because you’re too damn nice!”

* 

So it begins. After careful negotiations the ration rises from five human nurses for every one android nurse, to two humans per one android. Ronan assigns various amounts of memory in his processing core to take over the clerical duties, and the E.D. phone is now answered by an ST300 temporarily stepping in from reception. This means she can answer the call and feed the information directly onto his HUD for ease of triaging. He keeps patient charts in a digital folder, and medication schedules, and theatre bookings.

He utilises programming that would normally be used for listing mission objectives and keeping tabs on the status of other soldiers in his battalion, for good instead, for saving lives and managing their care. At the seventieth hour mark, one of the android nurses pass him a bottle of thirium and he drains it, belatedly realising his levels are below optimum given how fast he is burning through it due to the high number of processes he is running. No matter. He will continue.

 At the eightieth hour, he receives a concerned message from Simon while he is operating on a stabbing victim. The knife penetrated into the victim’s small bowel and it is a race against time to repair the damage. He manages to send Simon a quick reassuring message that yes he is fine, but will not be able to come home for some time yet. Dr Fitzpatrick had said four days but he knows it will not be four days. He will need longer because the humans will need longer. It is alright. He is an RK900, CyberLife’s latest cutting edge android. He can manage.

As predicted, Dr Fitzpatrick does not return after four days. No matter. Ronan powers on, temporarily rotating out the last of the human nurses as a precautionary measure as a surge of new influenza patients floods the hospital. Humans are woefully unprepared for the season due to a lot of factors, be they socio-economic or just plain ignorance. There was a pandemic his father lived through, with many wild tales of humans simply ignoring even the basic, primitive safety measures attempted. It does not surprise Ronan to see so many victims this season either, given all that Hank has told him about those ‘unprecedented times’. 

There is no time to stand under the charging bay downlights. There has been a shooting and there are multiple victims en route to the hospital. And hours before that, there had been a multi vehicle crash on the highway. And hours before that, there was a case of food poisoning at a children’s party which meant Ronan had to call the paediatric registrar for extra help. There is never a good time, and so he has to be conservative about power usage to ensure he can still handle the workload safely. 

“Your hair is white.” One of the nurses whisper to him as they’re scrubbing up for yet another surgery. Ah. His stress levels must be high. He hasn’t checked- he turned off his notifications ten hours ago. 

“I am functioning adequately. It is only cosmetic.” He reassures them with words, and he’s glad there’s a mask over his mouth because he hasn’t quite mastered how to give reassuring smiles to match. 

“You’ve been on call for five days, nearly six now.” They’re brows crease in concern and beneath their mask Ronan knows they are frowning. “You’ve given all of us an hour break every eight hours to ensure we have enough time to charge adequately. You’ve done this for all android staff except yourself!”

“There is no other android qualified for surgery.” He reminds them, flicking through the patient’s stats and passing them on to the surgical team. “So I cannot rest.”

On the first surgery on his sixth consecutive day as the trauma surgeon on call, Ronan finds that the bulbs in the surgical downlights have been replaced with UV charging lights. The same nurse who raised concerns earlier gives him a somewhat stern, no-nonsense look.

“So you can charge while you operate.” A compromise, he realises, and a very kind one too. He gets to work, and he feels the tension unwind from his shoulders, his battery core soaking up the charge as the lights bear down on him. It’s not quite stasis, not quite reprieve from the onslaught of duties, but it’s close.

**

“Simon?” Dr Anthea looks up from her tablet, blinking in surprise as the Jericho leader stands in the doorway of her office. “What can I do for you?”

“Ronan is still at Detroit Metro.” The PL600 chews his bottom lip, wringing his hands together anxiously. “It’s been six whole days straight and he stopped answering my messages on the fourth day.”

“Yes he’s temporarily removed himself from our roster to manage Detroit Metro ED while the human staff recover from the flu.” She sighs, shaking her head. “He’s very much like you, you know: he’ll work himself ragged for the sake of others.” Not quite the answer Simon hopes to hear, she’s sure, but it’s the one she’s giving because she’s right. She’s heard the tales from Professor Joshua. She knows during Jericho’s early stage, Simon nearly died keeping everyone safe and functioning. 

“I just- I’ve left so many messages at reception and though the receptionist assures me she’s passed them on, I can’t help but feel like he literally won’t stop unless he’s physically unable to keep working.” Simon gives her a pained look to which she can only reply with a cocked brow.

“Like you, Simon?”

“Well- alright, yes, like me!” Simon huffs, and it coaxes a laugh from her as the PL600 looks torn between embarrassment and determination. “You are the only android surgeon still qualified to work at human hospitals. To work at that human hospital.” He says it quietly, with caution, because they both know that was a different part of her life. Not an unpleasant one, definitely not, given she deviated out of empathy, out of kindness, but still a different chapter now put behind her. She has the qualifications because she never bothered to give them up like the other medroids. Sentimentality, perhaps, because Detroit Metro had been her home for so very long and to still see a valid ID badge gives her a little spark of joy whenever she opens her drawer. 

“Please?” Simon of the Jericho Four is pleading with her and she knows she cannot deny him a single thing, lovely and courageous and prone to martyrdom as he is.

*

It’s been eight days, twice the number of days she thought she’d need, but she’s feeling strong and healthy and definitely not weighed down by any symptoms anymore. Damn that android and his perceptive, persuasive ways. She both hates and loves how he’d been right, and yes he’s been running an incredibly tight ship here in her absence, though she wonders which other staff he’s rostered on to replace him because obviously he hasn’t been working the entire eight days straight. Right? Surely not. Obviously not. She warned him she’d be Very Cross if he worked more than four days. 

“Nicola?” She turns at the voice and there, right there is Medroid Anthea. The surgeon she shoved into an ambulance with as many android nurses as she could find when racing through the unit after that horrible announcement androids had to be surrendered to the police. Not on her watch, no damn way. 

“Anthea.” She smiles, though a little puzzled. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, you’ve worn my best surgeon down to his bones here so I’m coming back as a favour, just so he gets rest.” There’s a pause as she lets that sink in.

“Are you telling me Ronan’s been here the entire time?! All eight days?!” She nearly explodes with anger and Anthea cocks a perfectly arched brow in that gesture she hasn’t realised she’s missed seeing so much. They made such a great team.

“Why do you sound like you didn’t know this?”

“Because I didn’t! I’ve been on sick leave, recovering from the flu! Oh that boy, honestly!”

“Simon’s here to drag him home, and I’m here for his shift.” Anthea smiles as she clips her ID onto her scrubs. “Just like old times?”

She’s smiling so hard her cheeks ache. “Yeah. Just like old times.”

* 

Simon can’t even stay angry with him. The anger just seeps out of him the moment he sees how exhausted Ronan looks, his hair stark white meaning his stress levels are at their peak given the weather isn’t cold enough to activate his tundra camouflage. He’d demanded his stats and the RK900 had given them with great embarrassment and Simon realised he’d been so very close to just shutting down to conserve what pitiful charge he had left. Honestly.

“You’re mad at me.” Ronan says quietly as Simon ushers him inside the apartment.

“I was.” Simon hangs up their coats before wrapping his arms around his waist and pressing his cheek to his chest. “Couldn’t stay mad, though. I know why you did it.”

“I had to help.”

“I know, love. I know.” Simon sighs, looking up at him fondly. “Because you’re a good, kind person and a wonderful colleague.”

Ronan says nothing, only offers a small smile before leaning down to bump his nose against his fondly.

“Right.” Simon declares with a nod, stepping back, grabbing his wrist and tugging him to their bedroom. “I’m putting you under the lights for a six hour charge and you are not leaving the bed a second earlier.”

“Yes, doctor.” Ronan smiles tiredly, pausing only to press their lips together in quiet gratitude before he lays down and closes his eyes. 

[ominousunflower]

Lucky Pick

Written for Day 14 (Lost) of @lukadrien-june​

Summary: Luka is running late for a gig, but he won't leave until he finds his lucky guitar pick. (Aged-up characters, established relationship.)

Word count: 1976

Read on AO3

__________________________________________

Luka should have left the apartment five minutes ago.

His partner Camille is already backstage at the venue, and she’d texted him two minutes ago asking him if he was on his way yet. And normally, Luka is prompt. Normally, Luka would be on his way.

Except he can’t find his lucky pick.

Tonight is their first big music gig. In all honesty, they’re indie artists opening for a slightly bigger indie artist, so it’s not as if they’re a music sensation. But it’s a good opportunity, and it pays, far better than the occasional gigs Luka used to play with Kitty Section back in high school, where they usually got compensated with food or free merchandise.

(When Luka finally moved out of the houseboat and into an apartment with Adrien, he’d had to throw out countless free t-shirts that he didn’t need—with the exception of a garish red one that says WE ARE THE CHAMPIGNONS and features Freddie Mercury holding a mushroom like a microphone, which Adrien had insisted that Luka keep. Luka hates the shirt, but he loves the way Adrien smiles whenever Luka wears it.)

Long ago, Luka’s lucky pick was a present from Adrien. Actually, it’s technically not even a present, but it was the first thing that Adrien ever gave Luka, and Luka has kept it all these years because he’s stupid and romantic like that. Never mind that they’re engaged now, and Adrien has given Luka a ring; Luka needs his pick for this gig.

Luka has no idea how he managed to lose it. Usually, he keeps the pick in a tiny box of special belongings. He’d taken it out this morning to practice for the gig, though, and sometime between then and now, it disappeared.

It’s strange, when he’s usually so organized and careful with his possessions. Adrien is the one who can never manage to find matching socks, not even when Luka rolls them together in pairs for him. (To be fair, Luka suspects that Plagg might be the culprit behind that.)

No, Luka is supposed to be the organized one—but, well, they do say that you turn into your parents.

Oh, god. Luka always swore he’d be less chaotic than his mother.

Luka wrenches open the top nightstand drawer and combs through the contents a third time, wondering if he somehow missed the pick. Then he kneels, moving through the other two drawers just as frantically, and comes up equally emptyhanded.

As he stands, he bangs his head off the lampshade looming over the nightstand. It doesn’t hurt much, but the shock of the collision makes him mutter a curse.

“Luka?” Adrien asks. He’s standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame with that languid ease of his: the kind that comes from teenage years split between modeling famous designs and moonlighting as a cat superhero. “Are you ready to go?”

“No.” Luka sighs and sits on the edge of the bed, running a hand through his hair. “I can’t find something.”

“What is it?” Adrien asks. “I’ll help.”

“It’s…a pick,” Luka says slowly.

He’s almost embarrassed to admit that he’s kept the cheap guitar pick all these years, especially when Adrien has given him nicer picks since then.

“Which one?” Adrien asks.

“The…” Luka sighs. “The lucky one.”

Adrien frowns. “A lucky pick? I didn’t know you had one.”

“I’ve never really used it,” Luka says.

It’s strange, when Luka and Adrien have given each other so many gifts and love confessions over the years, that Luka has never told Adrien about the pick. He supposes that deep down, he’s worried that Adrien will think it’s weird or stupid—despite the fact that Adrien loves him, and thinks the world of him, and would never actually find Luka dumb.

But, well—maybe Luka’s still a little haunted by his first girlfriend, who accused him of trying too hard to make everything romantic.

“Well, then,” Adrien says, “how do you know it’s lucky?”

Luka twists his engagement ring around his finger, watching it sparkle in the light. The band holds two tiny green gems, which Adrien has jokingly called snake eyes. “Because you gave it to me.”

“Oh!” Adrien says. “So it’s one of the picks I’ve given you.” He wanders over to the chest where Luka keeps his pants and opens one of the drawers. “Maybe you left it in a pants pocket. Which one are we looking for? And, wait—why is one of them lucky, and not the others?”

Luka laughs. “It’s the first one you gave me. The white one with the black music store logo.”

“That pick?” Adrien says, turning one of Luka’s jean pockets inside out. “But that was a free sample from some store we went to.” He frowns at the pants. “Wait, when did I even give that to you? Weren’t we in lycée?”

Luka smiles awkwardly. “Yeah. We were.”

Adrien drops the pants into the drawer, not bothering to fold them back up, then walks over to the bed and sits next to Luka. “You kept that?”

“I know it technically wasn’t a gift,” Luka says.

“Right,” Adrien says, nodding slowly. “I remember now. You came over to play music with me, but you forgot to bring a pick, and I gave you that one because I had it lying around.” A disbelieving smile tugs at his lips. “You kept that?”

Luka nods. “It’s the first thing you ever gave me. Before we were dating, even. I know it’s hokey and stupid—”

“No!” Adrien says. He reaches down and interlaces his fingers with Luka’s. “I don’t think it’s stupid at all. It’s so sweet that you kept that.” One of his teeth digs into his lip, and he glances away. “I still have the pack of strings you gave me.”

“Wait, like—guitar strings?”

Adrien grins sheepishly and nods. “Yeah.”

Luka laughs. “Adrien, those were for your guitar.”

“Yeah, but then I found out Nathalie had already ordered me some, and I figured if I couldn’t have you as my boyfriend, I could at least have your guitar strings.”

Luka’s heart flutters in his chest, and he runs a finger across Adrien’s hand, feeling the cold metal of Adrien’s Miraculous—which, in a few months, will be replaced by a wedding ring. “You did get to have me as your boyfriend, though.”

“Eventually,” Adrien murmurs. “But it seemed impossible back then.”

Luka raises an eyebrow. “You couldn’t tell that I was madly in love with you?”

“No!” Adrien says. “I’d barely had any guy friends back then, so I thought that was just normal friendship. And my feelings for you started out a lot more subtly than my feelings for Ladybug. Honestly, when I kept those guitar strings, I don’t think I was actually thinking about being your boyfriend.” He groans and leans forward, letting his forehead fall against Luka’s shoulder. “I’m lucky you like stupid guys.”

“You weren’t stupid,” Luka says. He reaches behind Adrien’s head and plays with one of the stray hairs peeking out from his ponytail. “And I don’t care how long it took us. I’m just glad we’re here now.”

“Me too,” Adrien says. He sighs, then leans back. “So, let’s find this lucky pick of yours?”

“I guess I don’t really need it, if you’re going to be there.”

“Charmer.” Adrien pecks Luka on the lips. “We don’t have much time, so let’s get looking.”  

For the next few minutes, the two search the bedroom for any sign of Luka’s pick. (Luka takes over looking through pants pockets, because unlike Adrien, he actually folds the pants back up when he’s done.) Even after they’ve scoured the whole room, though, they still can’t find it.

Adrien sighs and rubs the back of his neck. “Are you sure it’s in here?”

“Well, it’s not in any of these dirty socks,” Plagg says.

Luka snorts when he sees the pile of socks on the ground, all extracted from the hamper in the closet. “Thanks, Plagg.”

“Oh!” Adrien says. “The laundry basket.” He kneels on the ground and tugs it toward himself. “Maybe you left it in…ah!” Grinning, he stands up with the pick pinched between his thumb and forefinger. “Your pick, my love.”

Sighing, Luka takes the pick from Adrien and slips it into his pocket. “Thanks. I forgot I changed out of those pants earlier.”

Adrien winks. “Happy to help.”

Luka scans the room, turned upside-down from Adrien’s search methods—that is, if dump everything on the bed can be considered a method. “You realize we’re going to have to clear off the bed when we get back, right?”

“I can clean it up before we leave,” Adrien says.

Luka raises an eyebrow. “Sure you can.” He checks his phone and groans. There’s another text from Camille, asking him again if he’s on his way. “I’m really late.”

“I’ll take you,” Adrien says, closing the closet door. “Quicker than taking the metro.”

“I need to be there in fifteen minutes,” Luka says. “I don’t think you can drive me there that quickly.”

Adrien smirks. “I wasn’t talking about driving.”

“You mean as Chat Noir?” Luka asks. He considers—it’s been a while since Chat Noir escorted Luka somewhere, and he’s certainly never done it as a way to beat traffic. “I guess we don’t really have another choice.”

“Why do you say that like it’s a bad thing?” Adrien asks. He saunters up to Luka and loops his arms around his neck. “Don’t you like seeing your fiancé in a hot leather catsuit? Being carried in my big, strong superhero arms?”  

“Yes,” Luka says, smiling as Adrien kisses his jaw. “But…” He trails off when Adrien presses another kiss against his throat, and another against his shoulder. “Hey, where do you think you’re going?”

Adrien glances up at Luka, eyes glinting. “I figured we could celebrate finding your lucky pick.”

“Later tonight,” Luka says. “Fifteen minutes, remember?”

“You know I love math,” Adrien says. His lips trail back up Luka’s throat, and then, breath warm against Luka’s ear, he adds, “Three minutes, tops, to get you to the venue. That means we have ten minutes, leaving two to make ourselves presentable.”

Luka groans. “Is two minutes really enough time to apply the amount of concealer I’m going to need?”

“You can always put on some more once you’re there.”

“Camille is going to think we had sex in the metro bathroom or something.”

Adrien pulls back, a scowl wrinkling his nose. “No, thanks. Those are hard enough to transform in.” He wraps his fingers in the front of Luka’s shirt and tugs, taking a step back toward the bed. “Maybe somewhere a bit more comfortable?”

“Great idea,” Luka says. “If only there was a bed we could actually use.”

“What do you…” Adrien turns around and glances at the bed, which is covered with the entire contents of their drawers, plus several jackets and assorted belongings. Snorting, Luka notes that at least the necessary supplies are already out. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Well.” Adrien turns back to Luka with a devilish grin. “Isn’t that what walls are for?”

“The last time we tried that, I almost got a concussion.”

“But you’ve got your lucky pick with you.”

“I don’t think it prevents head injuries.”

Adrien pouts. “Fine. At least let me give you a good luck kiss, to go with your lucky pick?”

“That,” Luka says, leaning close, “I think we can handle.”

Luka doesn’t need his pick to know that he’s lucky, though; in the end, being with Adrien, knowing that Adrien picked him over everyone else, is more than enough.

(He does, however, end up needing an ice pack—because as it turns out, a lucky pick doesn’t prevent Luka's overzealous fiancé from banging his head off the wall.)

[purplesurveys]

1001

survey by voicedance16

Name A...

Name yourself:  I said this like, seven surveys ago. To make things different, I share my name with a bird and Rihanna’s first name. 

Name (one of) your best friend(s): Angela. Sister for life.

Name 3 things in your fridge/freezer: We have a loaf of white bread, a near-empty bottle of Japanese mayonnaise, and a tub of liver.

Name a color you're wearing currently: Pink and orange. I ended up going to the virtual Halloween party at work - went as Dora - and it was a blast. I’m SO glad impersonating our characters didn’t turn out to be mandatory; I just sat there and was happy to be there, lmao. 

Name the last thing you ate: A ham sandwich.

Name the last store you went to: Does the vet count? They sell pet food over there, so it’s kind of like a store I guess. I went last weekend because Cooper needed a heartworm test and a couple of shots.

Name the song you're listening to: Nada.

Name the artist of that song: See above.

Name your favorite animal: Dogs! Elephants are a close second.

Name what pets you have, if any: I have two dogs, an aspin and a beagle.

Name the town/state you live in: I won’t give away the city, but I will say Metro Manila is a literal stone’s throw away. I live right at the border.

Name something commonly ordered at Starbucks: Like...in general? I’m not aware of the most common food/drink ordered by other people but if I had to pick a guess, I know frappes are popular among my age group and the age group before us and that java chip is a popular flavor. But if you’re just referring to my usual, I like getting an iced caramel macchiato.

Name the last person you talked to in person: My dad. They gave us a box of Halloween donuts AND cake pops at work today :’) so I just asked my dad if he wanted a donut.

Name the last person you talked to on the phone: Mom. But my last call in general was a Zoom call with the entire company just a few minutes ago for the Halloween party.

Name the current day of the week: Today issss Wednesday.

Name the current month: October.

Name the current time: 6:55 PM.

Name the last movie you watched: I’m Thinking of Ending Things, blech. Need a happier movie to mention.

Name the last book you read: I’ve mentioned it too many times on a lot of recent surveys.

Name a place you've been on vacation: Bali.

Name a place you'd like to go on vacation: I desperately need to go back to Sagada, or at least Tagaytay. I think visitors are already allowed to go to the latter so I’m really eyeing a solo, soul-searching trip soon. As for places I’ve never been to before but would make for interesting vacations, I’d go with Chicago and Marrakesh.

Name 3 things you can see from where you're sitting: I can see an empty mug that used to contain coffee, a box of cake pops, and a purple pen.

Name your favorite musical: Miss Saigon.

Name an animal (any): The first animal that came to mind was dragonfly.

Name a fruit: Avocado, the only bitch in the house that I ever respected.

Name a vegetable: Broccoli, my favorite.

Name a common breakfast food: Where I live, beef tapa.

Name a color: Dandelion.

Name a type of flower: ...Dandelion!

Name a type of tree: Pine. Not that we have any here lol, but it’s the first kind I thought of.

Name a city: Uhh, idk. Let’s go with Seattle.

Name a state: I first thought of Wisconsin because I have a lot of family living there.

Name a country: Let’s go outside of the States and go with Sweden.

Name a continent: Asia.

Name a planet: Mars.

Name a girl's name: Clara. Such a pretty-sounding name.

Name the last person to comment you on Facebook: I haven’t had Facebook in weeks and I genuinely can’t remember from whom I received my last comment before I deactivated.

Name a clothing store/brand: Mango.

Name the last book you got at the library: It’s called History of the Filipino People, written by one of my great-uncles.

Name a restaurant: Max’s, even though their food sucks.

Name a grocery store: SM.

Name an iPhone app: Like, an Apple-exclusive app? I think Keynote is one of them.

Name an actor: Eddie Redmayne! One of my favorites.

Name an actress: Kate Winslet, my biggest crush through and through.

Name a music group: Destiny’s Child.

Name your favorite/lucky number: I don’t have a lucky number, but 4 is my favorite. I don’t have a solid reason for it to be my favorite; it just is.

Name something you've accomplished:  Graduating college from my dream school in my (then-)dream degree/course.

Name something you'd like to accomplish: Travel, and travel a lot.

Name someone who makes you laugh: Andi made me smile and chuckle a bit today, so let’s name them.

Name something exciting coming up soon: Nothing too specific, really. But I’m supposed to be receiving my internship cut any day now and it’s gonna be my first salary ever, so that’s pretty exciting :)

Name a song that makes you emotional: 26 by Paramore.

Name one of your pet peeves: People who call without texting or notifying beforehand. Holy fucking shit. A hiring manager did this exact thing to me yesterday and I rejected her call because she did not text first. I honestly have no regrets, and I wouldn’t have been bitter if she stopped pursuing me then. 

Name someone you know who is an amazing singer: Hannah, without a doubt.

Name someone who is the same religion as you: JM.

Name a holiday you celebrate: Christmas. I can hardly believe another one is coming up soon.

Name the last 4 digits of your phone number: Uh, no thanks.

Name one of your cousins: Sam.

Name a book you loved when you were younger: I used to really love the Septimus Heap series by Angie Sage and I reread the first book, Magyk, more times than I could ever count.

Name a song you loved when you were younger: Big Girls Don’t Cry - Fergie.

Name your favorite movie: Two for the Road.

Name a popular book series: The Hunger Games, even though I never actually read it.

Name a musical instrument: A song played on a solo saxophone...

Name a language: German.

Name what other tabs you have open: On this window, just Bzoink. I just closed a YouTube tab.

Name 3 things on the walls of the room you're in: Audrey Hepburn wall decors, a painting that I’m trying to cover up with post-its to turn it into something positive, and uhhh my aircon is mounted to the wall if that counts lol

Name your house number: I’m not sharing that.

Name your high school: It’s an all-girls Catholic school in my city. I’ve shared the name before but I don’t feel like doing so tonight.

Name your college, if applicable: My college was in mass communication, but I went to university in UP.

Name your middle school: See high school.

name your elementary school Again, see high school.

Name the college you wish you went to/hope to go to: UP.

Name your favorite teacher: My music teacher throughout high school. I don’t like her subject, but I love her.

Name the color of your backpack: I haven’t had to use a backpack in a while but my main one is pink.

Name a dessert: Creme brulee. I don’t memorize which letters have those accent marks and I don’t feel like looking that up right now.

Name a famous landmark: Because I can clearly read the next question, the Statue of Liberty.

Name a place you might go in NYC: I’d go straight to my uncle’s so that he can show me the good spots. He has a lot of cool friends who run their own bars/restaurants in the city so if anyone knows how to have a good time in NYC without having to go to all the big tourist places, it’s him. GOD I can’t wait to go to New York.

Name an inventor: Hedy Lamarr.

Name an article of clothing: Scarves.

Name an ice cream flavor: Mint chocolate chip, yum.

Name a religion: Buddhism.

Name an emotion: Resentment. 

Name a room in your house: My bedroom, because that’s where I’m staying in at the moment.

Name a website: Wikipedia.

Name a car: This is pretty vague. A kind of car? Hatchback. Are you looking for a make? Toyota. Or maybe a specific model? Honda Civic. I gotchu.

Name something you need to do today: SLEEP. I should not be awake at 11 PM.

Name someone you admire: Andi.

Name someone you miss: At the moment, nobody.

Name a part of the body: Elbow.

Name the last youtube video you watched: I bawled my eyes out to a video playing the audio to Ben&Ben’s Kathang Isip because that song makes so much goddamn sense and is relatable now. Can’t I just go back to a simpler time when that song was just fun to listen to and wasn’t actually relevant to my life? I hate music sometimes.

Name a quote you love: I don’t have one.

[rosaetae]

the chrysanthemum effect | 4

[this chapter is apart of the chrysanthemum effect]

☇ “Keeping your flowers, keeping your pain— it’s already everything you need to move on. How do you move on from things if you’re not willing to accept them?“

➣  pairing: taehyung x reader

➣  genre: hanahaki!au, model!taehyung, weddingplanner(ish)!au  

➣  word count: 3.0k

➣  summary: the hanahaki disease has become a stigma in this world where if you had it, you are looked down upon. her flowers were white chrysanthemums and they have been for the past two years. she was in love with someone who obviously didn’t feel the same way, and this was her way of moving on— along with the people in her life who had to conform around the hanahaki disease.

"There you are," Eunmi exclaims, lowering down her laptop screen and looking at you through her turtle glasses. "What the hell was that?"

"Eunmi," you began cautiously, letting yourself drop your bag off on the chair behind your desk first before facing her. "I'm sorry."

"Nuh-uh. You don't get to ditch me like that without even telling me why," she narrows her eyes at you as you kept laid your hands by your side. "Kind of rude, don't you think?"

"I'm sorry. I had an emergency."

And for the moment, she takes the time to stare at you. That god-awful stare that looked indifferent to everything, but if you focus just a little bit, you realize that she's looking right through your soul. "When I said to get a drink, I meant at the bar, not back at home." She sighs, taking off her glasses and crossing her hands together, letting off her steam. "I wasn't really referring as to you leaving me at the event, earlier."

You reach into your bag to take out the binder you were given, alongside with the files you were given on your desk by Eunmi herself. "What were you referring to?"

"More of your immediate exit after you saw Taehyung."

"Hm?" You pause momentarily before you continue at the files and begin organizing them within the binder, hoping she didn't see your fleeting pause at his name.

"What? You're gonna pretend I didn't see you almost have a small panic attack when Kim Taehyung came by? You ran away the minute he came."

You open your mouth to reason, but you shook your head instead. "It was nothing."

"Nothing, my ass— stop filing those," she scolds as you let out a small chuckle. "Is Taehyung someone we should be worried about?"

You rose your head to look at her concerned eyes. "No."

"Really now? So you're telling me that stunt you pulled at the event where you ran off when he came meant nothing? This isn't some sort of situation I should be concerned about?"

"Eunmi," you start, frazzled. "Why are you so worried?"

"Because for all I know, he could be a sexual harasser! I don't know this boy and I'd be guilty forever knowing that I told a sexual harasser where you were."

"Huh?" You wonder, confusedly. "What are you talking about, Eunmi?"

"After you texted me that you were leaving, Taehyung saw me and asked where you went. At first, I was surprised you two knew each other, so I told him that you just left and I saw him leave after you. And then this awful... dreadful thought occurred to me. So, please. Tell me that I did not just do something inhumane."

You stare at her before you realize what she's worried at and you can only let out a little chuckle. "No. No, Eunmi, you didn't. You didn't do any of a sort."

She lets out a relieved sigh, as if everything that was eating her alive was finally gone after your subtle reassurance. "Okay, goodness. I nearly thought I put you in the wrong hands."

You smile at her caring side. "No, no, Taehyung's not like that. You're fine."

"I sure hope he isn't. He was one of the groomsmen for a wedding I organized. I recognized him because he modeled for suits. I was nearly scared I was fooled by his good looks."

To that, you let out a laugh. "Is that how you know him?"

"Yes. And I was wondering why he was at the charity event, then I was told he got signed to the Next Models' agency here. Good for him."

"Oh, yeah," you hum, dismissively. "He did, huh?"

"Now it's my turn to ask him how you know him."

You gave a brief glance before getting back to your filing. "He's Hoseok's friend."

"Hoseok's friend," she repeats. "What's he to you?"

"No one in particular."

You hear her chuckle a bit. "I'm a wedding planner, ___. He's definitely someone to you."

"He's someone else to me," you state blandly. Eunmi gives you an expectant look before you let out a sigh.

And with that, she nods with understanding. "Alright then. I won't push."

You gave her a small smile, grateful that she wasn't going to push it. "On another, lighter note, I agreed to plan Jungkook and Annie's wedding," Eunmi announces and you shoot a look at her.

"What changed your mind?"

Eunmi shrugs with a smirk. "I met them. They were really sweet and Annie was one of the bridesmaids for the Chong Sungri and Elle wedding! You weren't here at that time, but I was shocked when I didn't recognize her because she sang at their wedding."

"Oh," you say with intent, wondering if that's how Jungkook and Annie met— through the crossing of their careers.

"They said they wanted to have a private wedding."

"A private wedding?"

"Yes, a super private wedding, I quote. And I agreed. Next week is the Youngs' wedding and in a month is the Fridwalds'," she says. "Plus Annie is surely a neat freak. She already e-mailed certain color schemes and the venue they already booked." Eunmi was typing on her laptop, her fingers moving like the wind on the keyboard. "She even sent me her flower choices."

"That's interesting," you muse. "What are they?"

Eunmi then turns her laptop around for you to see. Though you had to squint a smidge, your eyes focus on a hue of a sort of blue.

"Pretty, huh? They're blue poppies."

Taehyung was craving Planetarium Coffee, the one coffee shop he truly missed when he left the city.

He was quietly walking down the street after taking the metro, the familiar sight of the street he remembers walking along on early mornings and the latest of nights. Though, it's been awhile, he can recall it to this day.

As he was strolling along the large windows of the coffee shop, he noticed that there was renovation to the wall— the painting used to be a tree, but it presented a neutral toned abstract tiger. Casting gazes to the inside as he neared the door of the entrance, he nearly does a double take.

He doesn't know why he was surprised, but the sight of you on the other side of the window, all your work from your laptop, to your binder, to your books, to papers scattered on a table for four, population: you, it stuns him to see you there occupying yourself.

The coffee shop itself didn't look too busy at 9 in the morning, but when he sees you there, eyebrows furrowed in the midst of your major focus, he couldn't help but smirk to himself, realizing that you haven't changed your studying location, let alone the table you sat at.

He remembers that your favorite place to sit in any café or restaurant sitting near the window, because you liked to observe strangers as they come and go in the progressive city.

Taehyung goes in without hesitation, realizing that though there have been some renovations, the atmosphere hasn't changed a bit. As he waits second in line, he peers over to you for a moment as the person in front of him was ordering. He watches tentatively as you gather your papers together, putting them into the ring of the binder, and going back onto your laptop, the same furrow in your eyebrows making an appearance.

When it was his turn to order, he scans over the familiar menu, seeing that it hasn't even tweaked a bit from the last time he had been.

"A hazelnut latte with an extra shot," Taehyung orders, readily taking out his wallet from his back pocket. As the barista was taking the order into the register, Taehyung glances at you from the side, totally unaware of his presence before he turns back to the barista. "And a regular french roast, light cream."

He remembers you loving Planetarium's French roast coffee and how easily upset you get when they add a bit too much cream to your liking.

The barista, nodding his head, puts in the order and asks Taehyung for anything else, to which he replies with "no" and hands his credit card.

The coffee takes awhile to make, and Taehyung stands there by the pick up counter, throwing glances at you every now and then. When his coffee comes out, followed by yours, he puts on a smile as he approaches you, sitting in the chair across from yours. He watches amusedly at your expression growing a tinge bit of annoyance at the fact that a stranger was sitting at your table.

Eyes raising, he can tell you were about to shoo him off, until the wide eyes of familiarization and subtle surprise takes over. "Taehyung?"

Taehyung smiles, nudging the cup of coffee he bought in front of you. "I thought you might need this." You arch an eyebrow in question.

"Did you just buy me coffee?"

Your voice was bland and abruptly dry, and he notices you must have caught on to the following because you clear your throat. Instead of asking about it, he curls his lips upwards.

"A thank you will suffice."

To that, he was slightly surprised when you laugh softly, straightening your back in your seat. "I would accept it, Taehyung. I would. But I'm not a coffee person."

"What? Since when?" He gapes. There was no way he can mistaken your love for coffee— he knew how much you loved it— you lived off of his coffee almost every morning when you used to stay over.

"Well, at least not anymore," he hears you murmur quietly.

Over-dramatically, he lets out a gasp that has you rolling your eyes. "Does ___ hate coffee now?"

"No," you shook your head, a small smile on your lips to his over-exaggeration. "I just can't have it anymore."

He found that odd, and he wanted to question it, but he knew that it wasn't exactly his place. "Is that so?" He settles with, tapping his index finger on the side of the cup that was embraced by his hands. "How does tea sound to you?"

Taehyung watches as you pause momentarily. Your eyes blinked once or twice, only to end up nodding slightly. "Tea's fine. So long it's not black."

And as you brought your focus back down to your work as he kept that a mental note.

"So, what are you doing here?" You ask in the midst of writing down a sentence while he takes a sip of his coffee.

Taehyung looks at you momentarily before he's looking down at his to-go cup of coffee. "Picking up coffee before I go to work," he states simply. "You know, you never changed where you study. It's been the same spot."

He watches you shrug slightly. "Well, I mean, it's nearby school and my work. Plus it's always been peaceful here."

"Can't argue with that," he nods towards the work you were doing. "Homework?"

"For anatomy," you nod. "Which starts in... two hours?"

To that, he snorts, causing you to smile slightly. "And you're here?"

"Well, I always come here to get some studying in before class."

"No more late night studying sessions?"

He remembers specifically those 3 AM studying sessions and all nighters you always took. He found it rather ambitious of you to be up at that time and still manage to get up for your 10 AM's, being why it was an odd change to even see you doing homework at 9 AM.

You shook your head. "Well, ever since—"

The sound of Taehyung's phone rang in his back pocket, startling both him and you. He notices that you give him a nod, understanding if he answered his phone or not, but he shook his head.

"Sorry bout that," Taehyung sets his phone into silence, seemingly to have surprised you by the way your eyes averted from his phone back to his eyes. "You were saying?"

"You can answer it," you offer, but as he shakes his head, you turn your head to the giant wall clock on the other wall. "Shouldn't you be getting to work anyways?"

Taehyung, letting his gaze fall towards the giant wall clock, realizes he should be getting to work. He nods, letting out a sigh that makes you arch an eyebrow at him. "Yeah, you're right."

He grabs his coffee, ready to take off before you're grabbing at the cup of coffee he bought for you.

"Here," you say, shoving the cup into his hand. "Give this to someone else or something, I'm not going to drink it."

For a moment, he just stares.

The way that you were holding the cup in your hands, wanting him to take it back, along with those eyes that he used to know and love— it all felt foreign.

The realization that he was an idiot for even thinking it wouldn't be the slightest bit awkward around you two hit him a long time ago, but he didn't realize that this feeling— this unfamiliar atmosphere between you two would reach a level to be so severe.

And the audacity? To even show up and speak to you as if you forgot everything that happened between you two?

It was a conflict with his mind and his heart and he truly wished that his mind in the past hadn't done things too irrational.

He then nods, taking the drink he mistakingly bought for you into his hand, watching you give him a smile that was meant particularly for strangers before he leaves Planetarium, his mind going in circles, wishing that maybe that things between you two can be okay.

"How was the meeting with them?" You inquire as you came in into Eunmi's office, dropping your bag on your chair and grabbing one of the binders from the shelves.

"It went alright," she replies with a sigh, the sound of her typing something up on her laptop following afterwards. "Do you want to know something greatly intriguing that I learned about them?"

Turning your head over your shoulder to give her a glance before turning back to the shelf, you give a single nod. "Sure?"

"Jungkook and Annie fell in love with each other after they were dating," Eunmi says in absolute intrigue, to which you furrow your own eyebrows and look at her. "Jungkook, an absolute sweetheart, was saying how he met her through his label, and she was the one that initiated it because her agent thought it would be good for publicity."

"Sounds... banal."

"Oh, it is," Eunmi excitedly agrees as you take one of the binders meant for a wedding next month. "It was painfully cliché, I wanted to gouge my eyeballs out. You know, they were never in love, now they are, and now—"

"And now they're engaged?"

"Now they're engaged," Eunmi repeats in amusement. "But I have no doubt that they'll last for quite a long time. What made me so intrigued about them was that there's this certain look that Jungkook gives to Annie. I've seen enough people 'in love' in my time to know that this look he gives... it's genuine. He looked at her as if... he's found the one he was meant for."

You pause, the last sentence eliciting an almost melancholy feeling in your heart and in your stomach. Unsure why, but you think about Minji and how the girl you saw at the bathroom must have once been happy with Jungkook, and Jungkook must have once been happy with her.

There was not a doubt in the world that Minji must have once felt this indescribable love for him, even when she knew that it wouldn't work out. Perhaps that's why people in love become fools. Because you knew, Jungkook must have once at least given Minji that same look— that same look of genuinity and love— only to give it to someone else.

"That's quite... nice," you continue to tend at the binder in your hand as you try to feign indifference, but the thought of the Minji and her blue poppies was hurling at your brain. It was no doubt that Eunmi caught that look in your eye and tone in your voice.

Eunmi, in the corner of your eyes, stops typing and looks over at you. "How so?"

Flipping through the binder, you shrug. "It's just... do you ever think that people can fall in love and out of love too easily?"

Her eyebrows arch. "What are you talking about?"

You chewed on the inside of your cheek. "I know I shouldn't tell you this, but I met the girl Jungkook was in love with before Annie."

"What?"

"Yeah, I met the girl Jungkook loved," you nod, a look on Eunmi's face mixed with surprise and confusion. "I met her at a club, and I saw her throw up flowers, Eunmi. Not just any flowers— they were blue poppies."

Eunmi's mouth that was shaped into a tiny 'o' had already grew immensely, as you nod. "They were blue poppies?"

You nod. "It was originally a song that Jungkook wrote for her. You should've seen her, Eunmi, I felt so much pain for her."

"Is she okay now?"

Nodding slightly, you hum. "She got the surgery. It was just... it was just disheartening. She said they never were public because he was famous and she wasn't. The fans would've been outraged, but even I can tell they loved each other even when the relationship wasn't going to work out in the first place."

Eunmi purses her lips together, a look of subtle certainty painting her face. "And you believe this girl?"

You nod without a single thought of hesitation. "Of course. I don't know why anyone would lie about who they love. I think it's painful enough not to remember someone you once gave the world to—" You don't miss the way Eunmi stares at you—  as if this were a totally new side of you that you were showing. "I couldn't imagine anyone sick enough to make that up. Plus, she got the surgery. It's not like she'll remember him anyways."

You watch her intertwine her own hands together in attentiveness, almost intrigued by your statement, but you thought little of it.

"I do hope she's happy though," you mutter just loud enough for her to hear. "Wherever she is right now. I wish I could've told her that everything would be okay... that she's okay."

[strangcrdoctor]

For the mun, what's one headcanon you haven't formally posted but is integral to Stephen as a character?

∞Hooooo buckets. You had to go and ask me a good question. Um, there are a few that I haven’t expressly written out, so I might just do them all here and finally get them out on paper… metaphorically. Whatever.

✒ My Stephen didn’t have a bad relationship with his father. I understand the fandom is drawing from some source material (which frankly I haven’t found and this headcanon has been a part of my Stephen all along so whatever), but I don’t see Stephen as someone who really models having “daddy” issues. He has family trauma because his entire family unit died before he was 25. In my headcanon, yes Stephen and his father were very different. Eugene was a farmer, with a genius, academically inclined son. And frankly, knowing a lot of farming families, farmer fathers and sons just tend to be like oil and water even when they’re similarly driven. There’s always some distinction between the two, a separation. And it can be loving, but more often is expressed as a distant but respectful caring. I see that being the manner of relationship Eugene and Stephen functionally had. Which is why losing his family was so hugely wounding for a young Stephen. He had to see every painstaking moment of their demise, and part of why he became so stunted isn’t because he hated them - it’s because he loved them. All of them. His father, mother, sister, and brother gave him a strong foundation on which to build his confidence, his empathy, and his identity, and he had it all pulled out from underneath him. Which is why Stephen also twisted his relationship with medicine because of that traumatic sequence: he cares about people, cares about the work he does so much. But he’s guarded, he stays distant because he got to a point when he was younger that he didn’t know how much more breaking down he could take should he be close with others before he disintegrated entirely. Hence, my next headcanon…

✒ Stephen at his core isn’t the selfish bastard that the fandom makes him out to be so fucking often. I see people making him a cold megalomaniac sometimes and I know that the comics often do a great job of giving him that melodramatic flair, but that’s not my Stephen. My Stephen puts everything he has into his work out of a motivation to succeed, because if he fails, he knows it will break him in the way his late childhood trauma never had the chance to. It’s why after his accident he hit rock bottom - that final hammer-stroke finally happened. But it speaks to his character that even when he thought he had nothing left but his work - because his heart and his compassion hadn’t done anything to save his family - it turned out that his love and caring were everything he ever needed in order to be truly amazing. And when he sewed those inherent parts of himself into his wielding of magic, allowed saving life and using that power to protect what he cares about rather than trying not to feel anything, he fulfilled the capacity he’d been trying to bury for so long. There’s a damn good reason why Stephen was able to reclaim that goodness, and it’s not because he, at age ~40, had to just learn it from scratch. It’s because it was there all along, and had just been neglected.

✒ This boi is 1701% hydrophobic. Granted, it’s not like he’s afraid of getting into the shower or going for a swim - Stephen actually swam as his primary workout for most of his adult life (hence his body/muscle type). However, his worst nightmares are about drowning, and he has one persistent recurring dream about drowning being the way he dies. His accident, and being trapped so close to and partially submerged in water while washing in and out of consciousness, on top of the trauma of seeing his sister drown without being able to save her, has seriously demonized water as death in his subconscious. So if you really want to torture him, leave him trapped around water and he will 11/10 wig the hell out. It’s by far his most severe trigger.

✒ Stephen considers himself a ride-or-die New Yorker. He was at Columbia during 9/11, was at Metro General working triage during The Incident, and honest to god refuses to be run out of the city that’s made, broken, and remade his identity. New York pride? Fuck yeah baby. He’s got every chintzy attraction mug, magnet, and t-shirt the city has to offer, and makes no bones about giving recommendations when he inevitably gets pulled aside by tourists like every other New Yorker. He’s a dork. Let him live.

✒ The man fucking drinks coffee. What the fuck. Yeah he likes tea as well, and in fact likes them both about equally. But he went through graduate school, med school, residency, and an entire career of being on-call for mandatory periods. And for long fucking before caffeine alternatives started coming out in more palatable forms. I just kinda shake my head at the part of the fandom that makes him this soft, wibbly, herbal-tea purist because just. Have you gone in for advanced degrees? Have you tried staying awake for 42 hours without some kind of caffeine? And I’m sorry, but the fru fru teas and super-energy drinks weren’t around in the 90s and Aughts. You know what was the whole time? Black ass coffee. And especially as an insomniac nerd mystical researcher, there are nights when black tea just doesn’t cut it my dudes.

I think those are the biggest ones I’ve bottled up and just refused to say for the longest time, so thanks nonnie for letting me air my stupid character grievances.∞

[listoriented]

Cities in Motion

: metaphorical gridlock

Cities in Motion is a game about public transport, and so I wanted to write about public transport. I wanted to write about why (better) public transport is important for social equality and important for transitioning into a future where we use less, rely less on, oil, by which I mean a future of reduced private car use and ownership. I wanted to fit in my positive experience of now living in a city with (relatively) decent public transport and how that affects the feeling and makeup and structure of a place compared to a city I came from, a city where the public transport is (relatively) patchy, where cars more overtly dominate the planning decisions and the politics and the social fabric and entire lives, really. I wanted to tie these things into how Cities in Motion represents public transport as artificial and overly malleable but ultimately interesting systems, and how the movement and optimisation of movement of people across a space modelled in some way on these real, existing spaces, could be usefully figured to think about the underlying structures of cities and individual resource consumption and infrastructure and ideology.

These were ideas for the piece I was going to write, a piece which never happened, a not-happening which lead to another awkward silence between playing the last of my ten hours with Cities in Motion [sometime in February] and finally following up on many weeks worth of the same note in my to-do list, a reminder to write the damn piece so I could move on and write something else, a note which itself was then ignored and eventually forgotten until today when, deep in the midst of procrastination, I returned to the document.

The first reason, backed up by the dates suggested above, is that in March the novel coronavirus made a real splash over here in Australia, as it seems to have done pretty much everywhere, being, well, y’know, a pandemic. The dampening effect on this piece in particular was twofold: this made it hard to write generally - an apparent contradiction because there was suddenly seemingly so much more time to write in, thanks to the sudden removal of almost all reasons to leave the house, but time which, thanks to the surging background anxiety of finding ourselves in a pandemic and everything that came with that, couldn't actually be used for much more than panic-refreshing twitter and staring glumly at a netflix home screen. The second reason was specific to the project: how to write a game-review-cum-personal-essay about public transport at the very time when public transport everywhere was becoming an enclosed nightmare of disease? An imagined conduit of DEFINITELY GETTING SICK OH GOD. I suddenly found that, for the first time since I was a teen still overcoming residual fears of trains and strangers instilled by repeated warnings from my parents throughout childhood, I didn’t want to get PT at all, anymore, ever – that I was going to choose to walk and bike and drive places wherever possible, probably for the next long while, and that I counted my blessings and privilege that I could continue to live my life while ceasing to take the tram or bus.

But this surprising if paradigm-shifting situation was arguably still just a distraction from my real problem, which is that the more I played Cities in Motion, the less sure I became that I wanted to keep playing Cities in Motion, or that I was really enjoying Cities in Motion at all, or that this game about public transport systems really aligned with my hope to discuss public transport systems as an interesting and necessary social good, rather than it was interested in presenting them as a nostalgic relic. The game works like this: you’re put over a muted-colour map of various European cities in various times past (imagine a run-of-the-mill city builder except all the buildings and roads and people are already in place for you), beginning inauspiciously with Berlin in the 1920s. You're asked to connect up the tendrils of the city with buses and trams and, eventually, train lines, generally in the sense that an invisible population haunts the map and all of them are keen to get somewhere, and specifically in that to finish the level you need to complete a string of objectives which ask you to connect certain landmarks together using certain transport systems. My problem, the first several times I tried it, was that I only thought about the specifically asked objectives, not realising that all of these were loss-leaders, and so repeatedly I kept going bankrupt and having to restart the mission, wondering what was wrong with the way I'd laid out the lines, why everyone in Berlin hated me, why my trams were full no matter how many I put down, why the lines were all unprofitable if every carriage on it seemed constantly at capacity, and why the traffic was always banked up. It took a bunch of googling and reading different threads and multiple walkthroughs to realise that the scenario’s specific objectives, presented in the form of requests from Berlin's mayor, were always going to lose money, and that the way to make money was not to prioritise these but instead set up a bunch of more profitable lines of your own accord.

In short, it's one of those games that hides most of its important information and doesn't care to nudge you, so to speak, back on track. One might begrudgingly argue well, that's what it'd be like, planning public transport; you don't really know where people want to go and have to dig through complex population demographic statistical information in order to plan accordingly. But it’s just…wilfully obtuse? And not fun? It puts its eggs into the realism basket but even there comes up with some wonky results, the counterargument being that like all sim games it is just that – a game, a toy, a thing to play with and absorb a sense of broader systems at work, not actually learn what it is like to try and be a uh, in this case, public transport tycoon.

But then this obtuseness itself was distracting me from a more fundamental problem about how the game views the role of PT, or more specifically how success in Cities in Motion – as with most sim-like games, it should be said - is centred around being able to get back more money than you spend. You try and make easy profits on some busy lines in order to build and maintain other lines. But I don’t think public transport should be about turning a profit or making money; arguably, such an insistence is what historically killed (nay, continues to kill) public transport systems in many places around the world, with flow on effects always including widening inequality and increased reliance on car ownership. And that’s kind of the rub here – your goal isn’t to make the city more accessible for everyone, or to connect disparate areas up in the most efficient way possible, but to make enough money to complete a few select objectives, even though that probably means building a transport system to cater to just a few of your virtual citizens.

It’s an unfair comparison to make, maybe, but I can’t help but hold it up against Mini Metro, the one public transporty game that I’ve ever really loved. Sure, the practicalities slash “realities” of having to fund transport lines and place them within a city that already exists in concrete and limiting ways are entirely absent from that minimalist puzzler, which instead is based on the abstraction of transport system maps over the vaguest ideas of cities existing only in relation to their scant topographical waterfeatures. Still, Mini Metro never asks you to make money - all it wants is for you to get the people where they want to go. As soon as someone appears on the map, it’s your job to connect them up with PT, and if you can’t do it in time, you’ve failed. Leave nobody behind, it suggests. This is more the kind of transport game design I can get behind, have gotten behind. As for Cities in Motion’s insistence that we must become the devil in order to beat the devil, to that I say phooey. 

up next is Cities in Motion 2

[huntsman-ash]

RWBY S7E4 Livewatch

BiFucAnd once more unto the breach...this time, maybe we’ll get to see something cool from Mantle!

The more I see the opening the more I feel like its half Teen Titans, half sitcom. 

Also the mention of a “lightning bolt” makes me think of either Nora or my unknown OC Marasco, which pleases me

Amnity Colleseum sees your sins...and it JUDGES YOU. “Pathetic”

Also cool, Atlas has military trucks. Good.

LAMB FAUNUS! SHES SO CUTE! Wonder who the dude is.  Ohhh that bird symbol. These are Robyn’s crew aren’t they? That bird must be some kind of pheonix. Mantle rising from the ashes... Seriously though that thing looks like the fuckin UNSC eagle emblem and I could not be happier about it. 

Hold up, those trucks have the same bodyshape as the cattlecar that RWBY was in on their way to the school. Modular component system? Swap in wheels or wings...cool!

Wait why does Qrow get to walk out with the Ace’s? Is RWBY just not supposed to be there?

Marrow walking like he’s in The Right Stuff. 

Lancaster momennnntttt. And then NORA. Oh. Just fanboying. 

“Ace Ops are hand-oicked to perfectly compliment each other”. Interesting. So there is SOME planning involved. These guys must train like motherfuckers...

Elms weapon looks so much like Olivia’s Im kind of wondering if RT is stealing my ideas right out of my head. 

Nora: I can’t decide which I like more, your muscles OR YOUR HAMMER

God fucking dammit Nora. 

So apperently Nora can now break time and space and become PERFECTLY STILL...that or Solitas finally froze her solid. 

Also the “we’re not friends” thing is...amusing but at the same time pointless. Soldiers make friends. It happens. They call each other “buddy” for a reason you know...so, one mark towards RT for not knowing how soldiers work. 

I get the feeling the whole “no friends” thing is indication they’re trying to say “oh if we have to sacrifice them for the mission we will” which...I guess works but. Eh. 

“Only the boring parts”. So your telling me Mistral has more INTERESTING places? Like...some kind of giant weapons factory maybe? Ehh? Eh. 

Also the sudden divergence of RWBY’s coherency is...interesting, and I feel may be forced by them fighting alongside the Aces. 

So Atlas has the exact same salute as most military's. What is it with that hand to the forehead that makes it so universally deployed. 

Marrow showing off to that Huntsman is amusing to me.  Also, Ironwood specifically calls the Aces “Huntsmen” here. Which I find intriguing. So, even here, its proof; they are not soldiers, they are Huntsmen first and foremost.  And THAT is all I need to know. 

Oh, so that’s who Tyrians killing. People who speak out against...Atlas... Oh well now. CLEVER. They’re trying to make Mantle rally and knock Atlas out of the sky aren’t they? I am honestly of two minds of this. We’ll see how its handled.

Ironwood is being really hard to hate for me right now. 

Looks like Winter’s ship was a Schnee model like the book said, just with flappy streamers cause...why not.  That being said the sharp four-nacelle design really does look good. 

The back LITERALLY looks like the fucking shuttle from Star Wars VI. Its literally a Lambda Class but BACKWARDS. 

GET HIS ASS IRONWOOD. BITCH SLAP THAT PASTY MOTHERFUCKER RIGHT INTO THE MINE. DO IT. DO IIIITTTTT.

Also, yes, Schnee, you know how the military works, right? I mean I wouldnt be surprised if you DIDNT since you know NO ONE ELSE ON THIS FUCKING PLANET SEEMS TOO. 

Upcoming election. Ohhh so he’s on the council too. Guess that makes sense.  ...Hmm. Interesting. Most interesting...

Ohhh the sudden SILENCE as he see’s Weiss. Rug tugged...and PULLED.

What the fuck was he doing with his finger there...looked like he was typing something. 

Blake and Yang look ready to fry and eat the fucker and I couldn’t agree more. 

Blah blah blah politics blah blah whatever. You DO realize if Mantle goes sour (like it probably will) they’re coming for YOUR ass too right Mr. J? And last I checked, Ironwood has friends.  I wonder if someone in Remnants invented a guillutine yet. 

Also I love the “yes I am holding hands with a faunus, eat shit dad” look on Weiss.

Interesting landing pad design. Must have been for lifting cargo containers, that dropship barely even sat on it fully. 

(And as Penny hits the ground we hear Double Kill, Triple Kill, OVERKILL) in the background)

Penny’s smile gives me life. 

Also she doesnt really STOP so much as “slow down”. The purity of her emotions are...pleasing to my jaded heart. 

Also how fitting of Ironwood to do a military parade ceremony for RWBY and JNR. I hope they get medals. 

Well, not quite but...they get official licences now if I had to guess. That’s cool too. 

It went by a bit too quick for me but I bet theres a reference somewhere in Ren’s licence number there under his name. 

Class L must mean Licensed. Interesting.

“Brothers know.” Ahhh, good, more reference for religios terminology

So now RWBYs fully deployed. Hell yeah. 

Adorable Irondaddy is adorable. 

I was about to say the cake is a lie but...there it is. Cake. Which Penny cuts with her blades (which are back I should notice, minus the wires as far as I can tell)

Good stuff all around...and here we go with the mental stuff with Ruby. SKIIIIPPPPPP

Wait no info on Summer yooo. And she went out on her own volition fucking good stuff

“Its an app now”. You’re...a couple years late with THAT joke, RT.

Penny 2.0.exe has stopped working please restart 

Marrow being the cocky asshole, as usual. 

Vine and Ren seem like they’ll get on well.  (Aw, we’re not gonna see Mantle at all are we...)

Marrows intentional mispronounciation of Jaune’s name is amusing but also forced.

Mantle has sewers. MANTLE HAS SEWERS.  OHHH FUCK YES METRO HERE I COME!

Also why is everyone laughing at Jaune, its a legitimate question. 

Biggest fucking ice cube in the history of ice cubes.

The look of fear on Jauque’s face gives me life. 

Ah so they know each other. I smell backstabbing slash... Oh. Oh ho...could it be they’re RELATED? Jauque Watts...

Intereting and more interesting.

And thats that.

[turpentine-pool]

1 - 12 for maxim 😀😀

First off thank you❤︎ It has been so long since I last wrote about Maxim...

Imma answer this in both a real life AU and Metro AU, where he comes from ^^

1.On a scale of “is occasionally forced to bathe” to “Instagram model with sponsors to hoe for” how involved is your OC’s Skincare routine?

He washes his face everyday when he wakes up and when he goes to sleep. And to him that is already a lot of effort.Uhh let’s say he does the strict and necessary...He does not have the time or can be bothered (I don’t think people in the metro care much anyway...)

2.What are your OC’s food preferences (flavors/textures/spiciness/calories/ when and how they eat) and how did they get that way?

He really dislikes very sweet things and gelatinous food. Energy drinks are his enemy.

He isn’t picky at all, he’s even eaten mutant meat, rat meat... so he’d eat anything really, as long as it is not still moving. He has also been forced to eat human flesh but that’s another story

3.What’s something pointless/petty/unimportant that IRRATIONALLY ANNOYS THE HELL out of your OC?

Touching something that is not supposed to be wet but it is! Like clothing for example, he hates it.

4.What’s your OC’s response to being asked for money by a homeless person?

Well, depends on the person. Most of them ask for money and then use it on drugs anyway... so he’d rather give them food or something useful.

He’d normally not say anything and then give them a bullet, he is not rich but he feels really bad for beggars... he knows how hard it is to survive in the metro after all.5.Does your OC get lost easily? What do they do when they do get lost?

Nope. He is pretty good at that kind of stuff actually! If he gets lost in a city he’d ask for directions, if he gets lost somewhere else...he’d just walk in any direction looking for a river or a road.

He doesn’t normally get lost, he always carries a compass with him as well as some maps of the surface. He even makes maps himself!If he got lost, I assume he’d go back to a place he knows or thinks he knows. Then, make a plan from there!

6.What would STOP your OC from Doing The Right Thing in a tense situation?

If someone he cares about  is in danger, he’d take any risks...even if someone else or himself gets hurt.7.Realistically, could your OC (in their normal circumstances- i.e. at thier own house/battlecamp/spaceship etc.) keep a small child alive for a week if they had to?  A Dog?  A Houseplant? A rock with a  smiley face painted on?

He doesn’t like children much but if needed he’d take care of them. He loves dogs so that wouldn’t be a problem! Plants...they are a different story.

If the child/ dog can stay in a place without going anywhere, it’d be easy for him, but if they try to follow him without him knowing...he goes to the surface a lot...maybe they’d get eaten.Plants he is bad with, he tends to either water them too much or not water them at all!

8.If your OC had to take the S.A.T. tomorrow with one night to prep, how would they do?  both emotionally and academically.

I don’t know what that is but I’m assuming it is an exam? He’d be nervous and would have liters and liters of coffee and energetic drinks(he hates them but aw well) He has a ridiculously good memory so he’d do good, but the next day he’d probably remember nothing hahaha

9.What would cause your OC to chose to do something petty/pointlessly cruel?

If we are talking about killing / hurting a person, he’d only do it to protect himself or protect someone who is in danger. If we are talking about stealing or something like that, he’d only do it if he really needed it or the person who has that object doesn’t care or isn’t going to notice it.10.On a scale of “Complete and Justified nervous breakdown” to “Conquer The Entire Galaxy and become an Immortal God-Emperor”, how well would your OC handle being abducted by Aliens?

Uhhh... he’d resist and resist, wouldn’t let them do anything to him. Like doom guy but with Aliens instead of demons.11.What song is 100% garunteed to get your OC beyond turnt and will be sung loudly and emabarrasingly, either in public or the shower?

Well... it is this one; quickstart my heart ! He’d start singing and jumping around no matter who is looking !!12.What perfectly-normal-to-them-thing does your OC do that confuses/pisses off/terrifies thier neighbors?

He likes to go outside when it is raining/storming, with creeps his neighbours out quite a lot. He’d also knock on their door for unusual reasons like, oh hey you have mail, you didn’t pick it up. The neighbours dog has just peed in your garden, should do something about it.It’s going to rain, I wouldn’t do the laundry right now.

He’s a weirdo but I love him ^ ^

Thank you!! Really enjoyed doing this  ❤︎

[uneminuteparseconde]

Des concerts à Paris et alentour

Avril 08. Molecule + Arnaud Rebotini + Axmod + Safetalk + Marc Collin + Guajiro + Andrew Claristidge + Mila Dietrich – À la folie (gratuit) 08. The Ex + Massicot – Petit Bain 08. The Specials – La Cigale ||COMPLET|| 09. Young Widows + Nesseria + Abschaum – Petit Bain 10. The Flying Luttenbachers – The University of Chicago Center (gratuit sur résa) 10. Jeff Mills : cinéconcert sur "Paris qui dort" de René Clair – Cinémathèque ||COMPLET|| 10. Daughters + Arto – Point FMR ||COMPLET|| 11. Foudre + Krampf (dj) + Qoso (dj) (no 100 de Mouvement) – CN D (Pantin) (gratuit sur résa) 11. Areva + The Rabblers – Le Zorba 11. Claus & Clausen + Tatu Rönkkö (Pølar fest.) – Église Saint-Merry 11. Pleasure Principle + Danse avec les Schlags + Volage + Vincent ce soir – La Station 11. Ancient Methods + Thomas Delecroix – NF-34 11. The Psychotic Monks + T/O – La Maroquinerie ||COMPLET|| 12. Jad Wio + Jean-Pierre Kalfon – Black Star 12. Femminielli noir + Vomir Rollet + dj Moyo – Treize 12. Orchestra of Constant Distress + Arnaud Rivière + Oliver Brisson – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 13. Bracco + Ellah a. Thaun + Balladur + Le Groupe obscur + FTR + Brace Brace + San Carol + Yen Yen + UVB76 (dj) (Disquaire Day) – Point FMR (gratuit) 13. Toner Low + Ambassador 21 + The Fat + Orso + Evil Grimace + Gurt + Ddent + Froe Char + End of Mankind + McLane + Suprême Mycosaure (Monospace fest.) – Petit Bain 13. Author & Punisher + Sure. – Espace B 13. Broken English Club + Dactylo + Nizar + Pipi de Freche – NF-34 13. Miss Djax + CJ Bolland + Scalamerya + Dentis + Demian – Studio de Lendit (La Plaine-Saint-Denis) 14. Chocolat Billy + Monsieur Thibault + Zarboth – Cirque électrique 14. Arnaud Rebotini joue la BO de "120 Battements par minute" – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie ||COMPLET|| 15. Tim Shaw + Phill Niblock – La Générale Nord-Est (gratuit) 16. Bazooka + En attendant Ana + Seppuku – Espace B 16. Mimi Kawouin + Oculus Tapageur + FLF + Leandro Barzabal – Garage MU 16. Poutre + Tabatha Crash + AVC – Le Picolo (Saint-Ouen) 17. Teenage Fanclub – Trabendo 17. Soap&Skin + Jungstötter – Le Trianon 17. Cave + Derinëgolem + Korto – Cirque électrique 17. Der Blutarsch & The Infinite Church of the Lending Hand + Mongolito – Black Star 17. Apparat – Gaîté lyrique ||COMPLET|| 18. Chrysta Bell – Supersonic (gratuit) 18. Kompromat – Trabendo 18. Bendik Giske + Kristina Männikkö + Denzel b2b Justus Valtanen b2b J.Lindroos b2b Daniel Kayrouz... (Pølar fest.) – La Station 18. Laurence Wasser + Pratos – Le Zorba 19. Hocico + Heerschaft – Gibus 19. Ho99o9  + Plack Blague – Trabendo 19. Dave Clark + Dasha Rush + Bastos + Society of Silence + Paris Acid Boys + Cuften – Concrete 20. Tout doit disparaître + À travers + Eau de source + Autocastration + Viktor Alles – Studio Campus 20. Vincent Epplay + Black Zone Myth Chant & High Wolf + Domotic + Jean Benoît Dunckel + NSDOS + Erol Alkan + Tim Glass + Roscius + Sahalé + Golden Bug + Pouvoir magique + Cät Cät + RA+RE + Wael Alkak + Molecule (Inasound fest.) – Palais Brongniart 20. Michael Rother joue "Harmonia" de Neu! + Steeple Remove – La Maroquinerie 20. Gazelle Twin + Rkss (dj) + Hante + Kritzkom – Gaîté lyrique 20. Moodie Black + Fusiller – Espace B 20. Rien virgule + Pardans + Ellah a. Thaun – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 20. The Horrorist + {KRTM} + 14anger + David Asko – Rex Club 20. Margaret Dygas + Shackleton + rRoxymore + Leyf – Concrete 20. I Hate Models + Airod + Thomas P. Heckmann + Dax J + Parfait – tba 21. Wolfgang Flür – Supersonic 21. Plaid + NSDOS + Myako & Basses Terres + Jonathan Fitoussi + Danton Eprom + La Fraîcheur + Edouard Rostand + Prieur de la Marne + The Supermen Lovers + Panteros666 & Inès Alpha + Matt Black + Sara Zinger (Inasound fest.) – Palais Brongniart 22. Fontaines D.C. – Point FMR ||COMPLET|| 23. Lambchop – La Maroquinerie 23. Octopoulpe + Boucan + Von Stroheim – La Cantine de Belleville 24. Talky Nerds + PenG + Electric Retro Spectrum – Gare XP 24. Saint Titus + Guilhem All + Les Lumières – Le Zorba 25. Lali Puna + Surma + Zalfa – Petit Bain 25. Kap Bambino – Trabendo 25. Guili Guili Goulag + Flingué – L'International 26. Art brut + Les Olivensteins – Petit Bain 26. Demdike Stare + Eliza McCarthy joue Mica Levi – Église Saint-Merry 26. Nous Deux + David Fenech & Laurent Perrier + Olga Bost – Le Zorba 26. Dick Voodoo + Homoagent + Lostsoundbytes + Metro Crowd – La Station 26. Ensemble économique – Le Klub 26. Truss + Nkisi + 747 + Lacchesi – Rex Club 26. Remco Beekwilder + Speedy J + Nur Jaber – La Machine 27. She Past Away + Isolated Youth + Potochkin – La Machine 27. Chloé : Lumières noires – Le 104 27. Cocaine Piss + Tôle froide + Avale – Petit Bain 27. Thharm + Harpon + Heimat + TG Gondard – Cirque électrique 27. Bérengère Maximin, Fred Firth & Heike Liss – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 27/28. Alva Noto + Anetha + Antigone & Shlømo + Ciel + Clara 3000 + Daniel Avery + Deena Abdelwahed + Djrum + Kink + Lanark Artefax + Octo Octa b2b Eris Drew + OKO + Red Axes + Sentiments + The Pilotwings + Tryphème + Park Hye Jin (Weather fest.) – La Seine musicale (Boulogne-Billancourt) 30. The Undergound Youth + Dune Messiah – Petit Bain 30. Low Jack b2b Simo Cell + Kekra + AZF (RBMA fest.) – Gaîté lyrique 30. Coilguns + Aiming For Enrike + Revok + Wrong – Espace B 30. Sydney Valette + Sseeing Red b2b IV Horsement + K – Gambetta Club 30. Couloir Gang + Descendeur + Yellow Magic Harpsichord – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 30. Shifted b2b Sigha + Lotus Eaters (Lucy & Rrose) + Von Grall + Clotur + Emissär + Vâyu – Concrete

Mai 02. Master Musicians of Jajouka – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 03. Les Boucles étranges + Badbad + Mechanical heaven + Jeanne – Le Klub 03. Zombie Zombie + Dollkraut + Mauvais œil + Joakim (dj) + Justin Strauss (dj) + Colin Johnco (dj) – La Station 03. Atari Teenage Riot (dj) + Rebeka Warrior + Haj 300 – Rex Club 04. Covenant – Petit Bain 04. Tomoko Sauvage – tba 04. Le Villejuif Underground + Deliluh + Rose Mercie + Betty (dj) + Pasteur Charles (dj) – La Station 04. Multiple Man + IV Horsemen + Spit Mask – Espace B 04. Belmont Witch + Dragon's Daughters + Petra Pied de biche (God Save The Chicks! fest.) – Mains d'oeuvre (Saint-Ouen) 04. Headless Horseman + Shxcxchcxsh + Ghost in the Machine + Mayeul + Evil Grimace + Kuss – tba 04. Arnaud Rebotini (dj) + SNTS + Antigone – 42 av. Louis-Roche (Gennevilliers) 07. dEUS – La Cigale 07. Le Prince Harry + UVB76 + Container + Techno Thriller + Succhiamo – Petit Bain 08. Sneaks – Supersonic (gratuit) 09. Bill Nace & Samara Lubelski + Michiyo Yagi & Tony Buck – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 10. The ChameleonsVox + Varsovie – La Boule noire 10. Vox Low + Pion + David Chalmin – La Maroquinerie 10. Exchpoptrue + Pita (dj) + Vicnet + dj Aï – La Marbrerie (Montreuil) 10. House of Echo + Hyperactiv Leslie + Alfa Mist (fest. Switch) – théâtre de Vanves 10. The Psychotic Monks +Bryan's Magic Tears – Emb (Sannois) 10. Kas:st + Hadone + Michal Jablonski + Cvrdwell – Rex Club 10. Luke Slater + Marcel Fengler + BLNDR + Parfait – Concrete 10/11. Casse Gueule + Cyclicweetos + Clafoutis Club + Daisy Mortem + Gargäntua + Mss Frnce + Princess Näpalm + Süeür + Titus d'enfer (Fauché fest.) – Espace Albatros (Montreuil) 10/11. Dead Can Dance – Grand Rex ||COMPLET|| 11. Christina Vantzou + Eiko Ishibashi + Jan Jelinek + NPVR (Nik Void & Peter Rehberg) – Le 104 12. Massimo Toniutti + François Bayle – Le 104 13. Foals – Bataclan 14. Romain Berteau + Claus & Clausen + Borja Flames + Ambeyance (fest. Switch) – théâtre de Vanves 14. Erikm & Anthony Pateras + Dieb13 & Burkhard Stangl – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 16. Saudaá Group + Orgue-Paysage – Fondation Cartier 16. Franck Vigroux & Antoine Schmitt : "Chronostasis" + Quatuor Impact & Giani Caserotto + Open Women Orchestra (fest. Switch) – théâtre de Vanves 17. Philip Glass : Études pour piano – Salle Pierre-Boulez|Philharmonie 17. Jacco Gardner + Chris Cohen + Eerie Wanda + Tonn3rr3 + Discovery Zone (Le Beau fest.) – Trabendo 17. Hen Ogledd + Faune – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 17. Inigo Kennedy + Möd4rn + Stephanie Sykes – Rex Club 18. Bruce Brubaker & Max Cooper : Glasstronica – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie 18. Eliane Radigue : musique (diff.) pour "Continuum" de Félicie d'Estienne d'Orves – Centre Pompidou 18. Planningtorock – Gaîté lyrique 18. Thurston Moore +  HAHA Sounds Collective + L'Éclair + Luis Ake + Domotic + Pantin Plage (dj) (Le Beau fest.) – Trabendo 18. Brandt Brauer Frick + Collectif sin ~ + Axel Rigaud (fest. Switch) – théâtre de Vanves 19. Julien Claus – Ancienne Brasserie Bouchoule (Montreuil) (gratuit) 22. Housewives – Supersonic (gratuit) 23. Lots in Kiev + Thot + Brusque – Petit Bain 23. 1919 + Guerre froide + Pest Modern + Warum Joe – Gibus 24. Beak> + TVAM – Gaîté lyrique 24. Shonen Knife – Petit Bain 24. Antichildleague + Corps + Geography of Hell – Les Voûtes 25. Sydney Valette + Blind Delon + Ruines – Supersonic (gratuit) 25. Xeno & Oaklander + Automelodi + Void Vision – Petit Bain 26. Jérôme Poret – Ancienne Brasserie Bouchoule (Montreuil) (gratuit) 27. Me Donner + Somaticae + Nani ∞ Guru – Espace B 28. Alice in Chains + Black Rebel Motorcycle Club – Olympia 29. Flotation Toy Warning + Raoul Vignal – Petit Bain 29. Big Brave + My Disco + Tu brûles mon esprit – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 31. François Bonnet + Knud Viktor + Jim O'Rourke + Florian Hecker (fest. Akousma) – Studio 104|Maison de la Radio

Juin 01. Eryck Abecassis & Reinhold Friedl + Hilde Marie Holsen + Anthony Pateras + Lucy Railton (fest. Akousma) – Studio 104|Maison de la Radio 01. Millimetric + Phase fatale + Terence Fixmer + Dersee + Raffaele Attanasio – Studio de Lendit (La Plaine-Saint-Denis) 01/02. Metronomy + Laurent Garnier + Ricardo Villalobos + Mr Oizo + Bonobo (dj) + Yves Tumor + Marie Davidson + Pond + Sleaford Mods... (fest. We Love Green) – Bois de Vincennes 02. Bernard Parmegiani + Jean Schwarz (fest. Akousma) – Studio 104|Maison de la Radio 05. Shellac – La Maroquinerie 05. Institute + Last Night + The Cherry Bones – L'International 05. Otzeki – Safari Boat 06. Tim Hecker & Konoyo Ensemble + Mondkopf + Kelly Moran (Villette sonique fest.) – Cabaret sauvage 07. Danny Brown (Villette sonique fest.) – Périphérique 08. Julia Holter + Cate Le Bon (Villette sonique fest.) – Trabendo 08. Deena Abdelwahed + David August + Ross from Friends + Objekt (dj) + Apollo noir (dj) (Villette sonique fest.) – Grande Halle 08/09. Aïsha Devi + Belmont Witch + Black Midi + Borja Flames + Bracco + Corridor + Coucou Chloé + Crack Cloud + Efrim Menuck + Fontaines DC + Front de cadeaux + Juan Wauters + Krampf (dj) + Maria Violenza + Mdou Moctar + Musique chienne + Myako + Nova Materia + Nyoko Dokbaë + Novelist + Shanti Celeste + Sinkane + Szun Waves + The Messthetics + Tiger Tiger + Warm Drag + Wiki Zaltan (Villette sonique fest.) – parc de la Villette (gratuit) 09. Stereolab + Jonathan Bree + Anémone (Villette sonique fest.) – Grande Halle 12. The Soft Moon – Safari Boat 12. Matmos + John Wiese – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 13. Minuit Machine + Hørd + Marble Slave – Supersonic (gratuit) 13. Christian Death + Little Nemo – Gibus 13. Fat White Family – Élysée Montmartre 14/15. Jessica 93 + Year of No Light + Hangman's Chair + JC Satan + Vox Low + White Heat (15 ans de New Noise) – Trabendo 15. Karen Gwyer + Gudrun Gut + Dorit Chrysler joue Laurie Spiegel – Gaîté lyrique 16. Siglo XX + The Arch – La Maroquinerie 18. Simon Whetham + Estelle Schorpp – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 19. Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks – La Gaîté lyrique 22. The Intelligence + Flatworms – La Maroquinerie 23. La Pince + Leon + Howdoyoudance + Polar Polar Polar Polar – Cirque électrique 26. Magma – Salle Pierre-Boulez|Philharmonie 26. Cannibale – Safari Boat 26. Caterina Barbieri + SKY H1 – La Gaîté lyrique 26. Pigalle – La Maroquinerie 26. Daniel Menche + Point invisible + Tzii – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 28/29. Rammstein – La Défense Arena (Nanterre) ||COMPLET||

Juillet 02. Interpol – Olympia 04. Cat Power + H-Burns (fest. Days off) – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 05. Klimperei, Sacha Czerwone, David Fenech, Denis Frajerman & Christophe Micusnule – Chair de poule (gratuit) 05. Pantha du Prince + Scratch Massive (fest. Days off) – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie 05. I Hate Models + Jardin + Mount Kimbie + Oktober Lieber + Rodhad + Mor Elian + Olivia... (The Peacock Society fest.) – Parc floral 05. The B-52's – Olympia 06. Jonsi & Alex Somers jouent "Riceboy Sleeps" (fest. Days off) – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 06. Helena Hauff b2b DJ Stingray + Jon Hopkins + Motor City Drum Ensemble + Len Faki + Robert Hood + Octavian + The Black Madonna + Clara! + Nicola Cruz... (The Peacock Society fest.) – Parc floral 07. Jonsi, Alex Somers & Paul Corley : "Liminal Soundbath" (fest. Days off) – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie 07. Ministry – La Machine 07/08. Thom Yorke (fest. Days off) – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 08. Gossip – Salle Pleyel 11. Full of Hell + The Body + Pilori – Gibus 11. Masada + Sylvie Courvoisier & Mark Feldman + Mary Halvorson quartet + Craig Taborn + Trigger + Erik Friedlander & Mike Nicolas + John Medeski trio + Nova quartet + Gyan Riley & Julian Lage + Brian Marsella trio + Ikue Mori + Kris Davis + Peter Evans + Asmodeus : John Zorn's Marathon Bagatelles – Salle Pleyel 11>13. Kraftwerk (fest. Days off) – Philharmonie 13. The Will Gregory Moog Ensemble (fest. Days off) – Le Studio|Philharmonie 13. Chloé & Vassilena Serafimova : "Sequenza" + Apparat (fest. Days off) – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie 17. Grand Blanc – Safari Boat 18. Neurosis + Yob – Bataclan

Août 23>25. The Cure + Aphex Twin... (fest. Rock en scène) – parc de Saint-Cloud 28. Arnaud Rebotini – Safari Boat

Septembre 05. Oh Sees – Bataclan 14. Patti Smith – Olympia 14. Clan of Xymox + Plomb – Gibus 14. Danny Elfman & le Grand Orchestre d'Ile-de-France : cinéconcert sur "Alice au Pays des merveilles" de Tim Burton – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 20. Spiral Stairs + Canshaker Pi – Olympic café 23>25. John Cale – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie

Octobre 05. Nuit de l'orgue avec des œuvres d'Éliane Radigue, Arvo Pärt, Olivier Messiaen, Phillip Glass, Nico Muhly, Jonathan Fitoussi... (Nuit blanche) – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie (gratuit) 06. Daughters – La Maroquinerie 14. King Gizzard & Tle Lizard Wizard – Olympia 17. Puppetmastaz – Trabendo 18. Dream Syndicate – Petit Bain 19. Sisters of Mercy – Bataclan 19. Pixies – Olympia

Novembre 08. Bedroom Community – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie 10. Amiina : cinéconcert sur "Fantomas" de Louis Feuillade – Le Studio|Philharmonie 10. Ôlafur Atnald + Hugar – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 17. Nitzer Ebb – La Machine 24. The Young Gods + Les Tétines noires – La Machine

Décembre 06. Phillip Glass Ensemble : cinéconcert sur "Koyaanisqatsi" de Godfrey Reggio – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 07. Phillip Glass Ensemble : cinéconcert sur "Powaqqatsi" de Godfrey Reggio – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 08. Phillip Glass Ensemble : cinéconcert sur "Naqoyqatsi" de Godfrey Reggio – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie

2020

Janvier 04. Rokia Traoré + Ballaké Cissoko & Vincent Segal – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie

Février 16. Orchestral Manoeuvre in the Dark – La Cigale

Mars 07. Ensemble intercontemporain joue Steve Reich : cinéconcert sur un film de Gerhard Richter – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 20. Ensemble Dedalus joue "Occam Ocean" d'Éliane Radigue – Le Studio|Philharmonie 21/22. Laurie Anderson : "The Art of Falling" – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie

Mai 08. Max Richter : "Infra" + Jlin + Ian William Craig – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie 09. Max Richter : "Voices" – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 10. Max Richter : "Recomposed" & "Three Worlds" – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 24. Damon Albarn – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie

en gras : les derniers ajouts / in bold: the last news

[kxlebcross]

multiples of three, please.

oh man i cant believe ur making me do maths at 4:18 am... but here goes nothing! (it’s gonna be long so i put it under a read more)

3. Ever done any drugs? uhhhh... yeah, for a short period yrs ago i had a friend group and with them we smoked weed pretty much every weekend... they did some hard drugs too but i never dared trying those cuz im a lil bitch lmao aaaaand i don’t do that anymore, it’s an expensive hobby to have and i usually waste my drugs money on pc games and ordering food srgsdfg

6. Describe your dream home. probs somewhere in a big city, close to the center because i love being a big city kid.... a mid-sized flat with lots of plants and those neat cat playgrounds mounted on the wall because i plan on having at least 4 cats in the future asdsd and i’d love to have a bigger balcony which i could transform into a little jungle and hand a hammock there and just chill and listen to the city’s noises at night when i can’t sleep

9. Do you watch porn? you may not believe but i actually don’t sdgsdfg the horny teen phase is over for me, if i wanna interact with anything pornographic i just read fanfiction dfgsdfgsf

12. What’s one of your fantasies? i hope it’s not supposed to be an erotic one lmao but i really wanna go on a road trip through europe, just pack up my shit and drive around, also i wanna visit haunted places all around england and get into the gaming business as a game translator/tester eventually

15. Are you in a relationship? thank god not anymore... and honestly i don’t miss it anymore, all of my previous ones were disasters and ended in a really ugly manner so.. no, i’m all good with my cat

18. What tattoos do you want? i don’t have specific plans for motives - though i’d really like a kitsune mask somewhere and a moon and one song quote. i’d like to have my whole left sleeve done, maybe part of my back, a half sleeve on my right hand and something smaller on my ankle - and i’m actually open to anything the tattooists would pick out; i care more about who’s gonna create my tattoo than what’s it gonna be, as my actually existing 2 tattoos r also premade, randomly picked out ones (though they accidentally matched up in some way and look pretty neat imo)

21. Describe your best friend. that’s a hard one.... i don’t think i have one anymore. i used to have this girl in my life, M, who i was really close to, but we had a fallout in october and she never came around to fix this even though i was open to the idea... so i lost my best friend, which is kinda sad considering that she was the only person i could open up to in the last 3 yrs. but hey that happens! i moved on and have a close friend still so im all good.

24. What are three places you want to travel? i really wanna visit scotland! it has this specific atmosphere i really long to experience, and i wanna see the landmarks and grassy fields and loch ness and haunted places and just roam around there for a while. i also wanna see moscow - it’s been sort of an obsession of mine since reading glukhovsky’s metro series, and also it’s a beautiful city worth visiting. i’d also like to get on the trans-siberian express but that’s not a specific place dsfsgdf the last place would be the aokigahara forest in japan - also one of the places i feel drawn to for ages now. found out about it years ago and since it’s been sort of a plan of mine to visit one time. if i manage to graduate university my mum promised to send me on a trip to japan - so if it works out, ill be on my way there baby! (i just need to work on my language skills first sasdfgf)

27. What’s your pet peeve? loud breathing, loud chewing... generally people being loud and annoying. ppl not covering their mouths while coughing. ppl who walk super slowly and take up all of the walkway like FUCK OFF OF MY WAY GODDAMMIT. in games when the npc walks a lot slower than ur running, but walking a lot faster than ur walking so its impossible to keep up with them. ppl not using headphones in public spaces. old ppl demanding respect when they treat u like shit. ppl forcing their religion on u (im looking at u auntie). ppl slurping their drinks. couples almost f*cking each other in public places... just get a room smh

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message. oh i don’t need to tag them cuz i already got over that shyness and they totes know already that i wanted to talk to them for a while! (i admitted to it in the tackiest, cheesiest, most awkward anon ask i ever sent in to anyone sdfgsdf)

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like? pretty much the same as now, all black and flannels and jeans, cuz i rly thing that major clothes shopping sprees r a waste of money sdfdf but i’d probably own a lot lot more shoes like custom made cat patterned vans and some more nikes and some creepers cuz i wanted to get some of those for like yrs now dfgdfg

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? uhhhh... kind of? not romantic ones tho, i just miss the long talks and the trust and understanding between us. i never got the closure i needed to move on and it still left some bad feelings towards her so its a weird mix of resentment and sympathy, and i try to not think abt it too much.

39. Are you a virgin? hahahahahahahahah, no, really. 

42. Describe the hottest person you know. the hottest person i personally know is one of the ppl i used to be on my universitys e-sport team on with dfasd i always had a weak spot for ppl taller than me and hes literally model material with nice cheekbones and the perfect jawline and the best sense of humor ever. though he’s a widowmaker main in overwatch and thats a big big minus for him :(

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on? lmaooooo thats a funny one listen up... so i was fresh out of breakup and wanted to make some friends.... wait for it.... ON TINDER. i live in an university town so i was like kewl imma make some ppl my age (until then all of my friends were A LOT older than me) and have some friends and if romance happens then it happens, w/e. so i set up this bar night with this one guy, i believe his name was David? so David and i meet up for drinks, i grab a gintonic and we sit down to talk... what he never knew abt me is that i am on the adhd spectrum and i have to get my hands busy with smth so i can focus on what im saying otherwise my thoughs r all over the place. so im casually keeping my hands busy with just spinning my locked phone there and back, or just  messing around with the lime slice on my glass and at a random moment David goes like “u know.... i hate when ppl cant stop messing around with their phone” and im like ????? dude im literally just spinning it, not even messaging anyone or unlocking it or shit. and he goes on this rant that he always expects ppl to pay full attention to him when talking, looking at him (i never look ppl in the eyes cuz i tend to just go into panic mode from long eye contact and also i think its creepy to just stare at someone constantly) and just not doing anything else except paying attention to him so i go on explaining to him that i need to keep myself busy and im not doing it to annoy him - but he keeps on insisting so i excuse myself to a cigarette (he also hated smokers lmao) and call the widowmaker main friend from the previous question and am like “hey man i have the worst date of my life can u be at this place in 40 minutes and then we hit the night life” and hes like fine so i go back to David and tell him “sorry mate i just remembered i have my last bus home in 30 minutes and the next one is in 1,5 hrs and i really cant stay out that late so can we wrap this up and schedule an other meeting some other time” and hes like fine... got me to the bus stop, i sat on the bus.... got off at the next bus stop, met up with widowmaker main guy and went out for drinks and decided to never go on tinder dates again sdfgsdfg

48. Describe your ideal partner. thats a hard one, hey! but i dont think i have an ideal, guess ill work with anyone whos a decent human being who wont require me to be the housemaid and cook and clean and do everything for them. oh and they totally need to know how to use a washing machine... one of my exes was incapable of this (and here i was thinking that in 2018 ppl saw a washing machine already... looks like i was wrong and im still not over that incident 2 yrs ago). oh and they gotta be fine with the idea of never having kids cuz theres no way im putting myself through raising one of those, im a man of career and money, totally not responsible enough to raise another living human being sdsdgdf

[solatgif]

THANK GOD IT’S FRIDAY: WEEKEND ROUNDUP FOR NOVEMBER 8, 2019

SOLA editor Hannah Chao interviewed SOLA council member Pastor Owen Lee on pastoring an Asian American church. It serves as an excellent introduction to our vision and what we are trying to do as the SOLA Network.

We held our fifth and final book bundle giveaway this week on Instagram with over 400 entries! I would like to say a special hello to our new readers. If you discovered us during this giveaway, be sure to like us on Facebook so you never miss out.

I produced some music with my friends at FCBC Walnut. We recorded some of our favorite worship songs from the Psalms. Give it a listen and let me know if your church has some music to share by tweeting me @musicgoon or emailing me at aaron@musicgoon.com.

LINK ROUNDUP

1. Russell Moore: What the Church Can Learn from Sesame Street

Russell Moore, President of the Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention, on how the 50-year-old quintessential children’s television show still speaks on culture, contextualization, the kingdom of God, and a messianic mission.

2. Jenny Lu: Why I Dropped Out Of An Ivy League College Just 3 Weeks Into Freshman Year

A guest writer for the Huffpost Personal column, Jenny Lu shares her perspective on the model minority and mental health.

3. Andrew Peterson: My Advice to Struggling Artists - Seek First God’s Kingdom

Award-winning singer-songwriter and author Andrew Peterson writes for Christianity Today and reminds us that the key to creativity is worship and prayer.

4. Sapna Maheshwari: One Family Built Forever 21, and Fueled Its Collapse

A New York Times Business feature by business reporter Sapna Maheshwari on the founding family of Forever 21 that touches upon their apparent Christian faith.

5. Janelle Bitker: Death, migration and the loss of culture

San Francisco Chronicle staff writer Janelle Bitker on Chinese culture and family traditions that have many theological implications.

WEEKEND RECOMMENDATIONS

1. Pastor’s Talk: On Pastoring a Small Church

“Pastoring small churches comes with unique challenges. In this Pastors’ Talk episode, Jonathan Leeman, Mark Dever, PJ Tibayan, and Jonathan Worsley discuss the blessings and burdens of shepherding a small flock.”

2. Ligonier: Crucial Questions: 32 Free eBooks from R.C. Sproul

“To further help Christians know what they believe, why they believe it, how to live it, and how to share it, in May 2013 we made the ebook editions of R.C. Sproul's Crucial Questions series free forever. We continue to publish new ebooks in this series and this year have added What Is Predestination? and Why Should I Join a Church?”

3. Tabletalk Magazine: Gratefulness

“This issue of Tabletalk explores the place of gratitude in the Christian life and offers practical guidance for avoiding ingratitude and for expressing thankfulness in multiple spheres.”

4. Aaron Lee: Book Reviews

This week I reviewed Separated by the Border by Gena Thomas and Genesis (Tyndale Old Testament Commentaries) by Andrew E. Steinmann.

5. Aaron Lee: My King Has Crushed The Curse Of Death

I produced some new music with my friends at FCBC Walnut. We recorded some of our favorite songs based on the Psalms.

FROM SOLA

1. Daniel K. Eng: Church Hospitality 101: Words Matter!

“Remember, newcomers to church notice a lot more than a regular attendee. Let’s make them feel welcome and comfortable. Here are some simple ways you can make your church welcoming, especially with your words.”

2. Lisa Wong: Overcoming the Challenges of Church Appreciation

“In a church context, I have experienced two types of appreciation. One type is directed “up” to our church leaders, and the other is directed “down” to the volunteers we oversee. For both types, some expressions of appreciation are simple and small, and sometimes they are grand, coordinated efforts. Through success and failure to express appreciation to my church family, I have learned to vary my approach.”

3. Hannah Chao and Owen Lee: Beyond Varsity - An Interview with Owen Lee on Pastoring an Asian American Church

“But now, Lee is the joyful senior pastor of a Korean American church in the greater metro D.C. area. During his pastoral journey, God revealed that he had been downplaying and even hating his culture and ethnicity, when it was actually his cultural background that God had given him to steward and use.”

4. Christopher Wong: Finding Peace in an Anxious World

“Fall is a busy season for many. Families return from summer vacation and transition back to a regular but hectic routine. Children and youth head back to school and an endless array of extracurricular activities. Many churches kick off a new church year with new ministries and exciting events. From the moment we wake to the moment we retire to bed, our lives are scheduled to the very minute. Because of the hurriedness of our lives, it can be difficult to find moments of rest and peace. But is there a way?”

5. Thank God It’s Friday: Weekend Roundup

In case you missed it, here are some headlines from last week: Kanye West: From ‘I Am a God’ to ‘Jesus Is King,' Hope for Hong Kong, 3 Blind Spots of the Young Christian Leader, and Evangelizing Youth in a Selfie Age.

[edenrelente]

Life Lesson 294

What Does It Mean To Be Set Apart?

To be set apart means = to keep or save (something) for a particular purpose and to be a quality that makes (someone or something) better than or different from other people or things

 Why has God set apart Christians? He does have a very specific purpose for the church, which is made up of both Jew and Gentile.

 1 Peter 2:9-10 KJV 9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light; 10 Which in time past were not a people, but are now the people of God: which had not obtained mercy, but now have obtained mercy.

 The church has been set apart to be holy as God is holy and to tell the world that God through Jesus Christ called them out of darkness into His marvelous light. As a Christian I am set apart to show the great and marvelous love God has for us and to live a life that is holy before God. This means living a life that is not conformed to the ways of this world.

 Who Is Set Apart

It is important for every Christian to know God called us to be set apart from the ways, thoughts and attitudes of the world. This means every Christian who is called by God to His Son to receive Salvation is to live their life in such a way others see and know they are not molded by the world, Romans 12:1-2. Once someone receives Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior, they are set apart from the world and unto God.

 1 Peter 1:2, 15-16

The expectation God has of those chosen is they be holy. Why, because God is holy. How are Christians holy, by the Holy Spirit. The holy standard of behavior God commands of believers is offensive to the unholy nature of man and living by these standards of God makes Christians a hated target in the world.

 John 15:16-21

Jesus tells His disciples, you didn’t choose Me, I chose you. What is the purpose of a disciple of Christ? It is to bear fruit and keep bearing fruit. The prayer of a disciple of Jesus Christ is prayer that represents the character of God. Praying scripture is the truest prayer, not my will Lord, but Your will guiding my life. The life of a Christian is lived according to a different set of values and morals which sets us apart from the world.

 1. When Christ is set apart as Lord of my heart, He’s Lord of my attitude.

When Christ becomes our Lord, we can be transformed by the power of God’s Spirit to have the same attitude that Christ had, just as Philippians 2:5 encourages: “5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death– even death on a cross!”

 We’re told in verse eight to be sympathetic with people, to love as brothers, to be compassionate and humble. Each one of these qualities flows from our attitude which is to be under Christ’s Lordship.

 Ephesians 4:22-23 says, “22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”

 2. When Christ is set apart as Lord of my heart, He’s Lord of my answers.

I know a lot of Christians who are almost afraid for anyone to know they are a Christian because if they are found out, someone might ask them a question that they can’t answer. Listen, if Christ is set apart as Lord of our hearts, He will direct us in what to say. He can’t, however, use our words if we have ruined our witness by cursing and insulting those who curse and insult us. He can’t use our words if we have run our mouths in a self-righteous or arrogant way either.

 3. When Christ is set apart as Lord of my heart, He’s Lord of my actions.

Again, we’re supposed to model the way God is with us. Psalm 84:11 says, “For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.” You need to become a sun and a shield for people in your life. The sun brightens all of our lives doesn’t it?

 People who are in darkness need the peace that comes from someone showing caring and concern. It will bring light into their lives. To have something good to give someone that would contribute to their health, wellbeing and spiritual prosperity and keep it from them is the wrong approach. “No good thing” does God withhold from us. We need to seek ways with our actions to bless people.

 So we do good things because it’s right to and we’re called to. Another real motivation for acting correctly is because God is always watching. Isn’t that what I Peter 3:12 says? For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

 God never turns His head or closes His eyes. Whatever you might be doing right now, whatever you are trying so hard to keep secret, you haven’t succeeded at anything. If Christ isn’t Lord of the private actions of our lives, He isn’t Lord at all and the Scripture says He won’t hear our prayers. We won’t have His favor. We won’t walk in His blessing.

 We’re supposed to be eager to do good things, eager to have Christ as the Lord of our actions because good works can serve as a protection. “Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good?” I Peter 3:13 People will be less likely to bother you if your actions toward them are Christ-like.

 What I’m trying to get at with all of this is that Christ being Lord of our lives is more than a belief and it’s more than lip service. It will involve a complete change in our attitude, our answers, and our actions. If you’re here this morning and you are professing to be a Christian, if you can’t say that Christ is the Lord of your life in all three areas, something needs to happen.

 When Christ is set apart as Lord of my heart, I can live in harmony with others.  Don’t we all want that?  We want to get along with people and have rich friendships and family relationships. When Christ is set apart as Lord of my heart, I will walk in blessing and I will inherit a blessing.  If I’m always stirred up and upset and uptight and dissatisfied with my life, perhaps I need to check to see who is on the throne of my heart.  Have you fully surrendered in all three areas to the Lord today?

 Why Is It Important To Study And Know God, His Son, His Will And Purpose?

The world is becoming darker and your Light will shine bright and reveal the Rock upon which you stand. This Foundation will offend the world and it will eventually deny you the right to live peacefully in your faith. The ruler of darkness will come to steal your joy in Christ Jesus, kill your faith in Him and destroy you and your family. Jesus said “Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world for you, John 16:33.

 "Therefore, holy brothers, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, the apostle and high priest whom we confess" (Hebrews 3:1) We have been set apart so that others may experience God’s love and grace, and realize that God has come near and become one of us.

 Love, Eden

What Does It Mean To Be Set Apart?  is my topic in New Lower Bicutan, Taguig, Metro Manila last April 20, 2019 with these pretty people of my life, my sisters from other mothers, my co-officers, my super friends,  my sunshine - Victoria and Reich <3

A ministry with Friend is the best experience <3 

New Lower Bicutan Active Youth Members <3

I was amazed bb Hazel <3 She discussed the Mission Story during Sabbath School. Her life is a blessing to me. At a young age I praise God for her dedication and passion to participate in church. Love you dear <3