#god really transed my gender and said wait a bit

[imaybeleo]

discovering you’re trans is so weird because then you’re just sitting there one Tuesday night like well NOW who am I,

[hababa]

have been wrangling with anxiety and uncertainty and self-rejection around top surgery for the last few months but feel like i'm digesting these fears day by day and getting a bit more clear-headed about my decision. long elaboration to no one under the cut

im like 70% certain that i'm going to go through with double incision that i have scheduled for february 2024. sometimes i feel like i should wait a bit longer until i can afford or access non-flat/inverted T anchor/radical reduction (not worried about preserving nipple sensation but don't want to be unproportionately flat to my tummy and hips. god im so jealous of cis men and their stupid sexy little man boobs. i want just a liiiiiiittle fat left there, just enough to still look male). my surgeon said he would leave a little bit of tissue there but his other results i've seen online seem to be really flat, like prepubescent cis boy levels of flat, and i dont think that will match my body well cause i'm not skinny. there doesnt really seem to be a lot of surgeons that can do non-flat top surgery for NB folk around the UK/europe and i dont want to wait three or four more years before i can afford it in america or access it with nthanos, the idea of having boobs like this another few years sounds like hell. especially considering i would be giving up the option to have DI in the next few months (i anticipate if i cancel i will feel very depressed afterwards), and especially the more my body masculinises on testo. im also worried about my breasts growing bigger than i want which they might do w methods that preserve the nipple stalk - they won't with DI. compared to the pre-op chests i've seen of people who got inverted T, my boobs are really big and saggy so i also worry that if i do get to that point where I can access inverted T they won't be able to operate on my big fat fucking boobies lol. my nipples are super low down so idk if they'll even be able to preserve the stalks and achieve a masculine chest. idk idk.

i'm able to name now that i'm reckoning with a fear of losing control. i can't control the chest that my surgeon will construct while i'm under anaesthesia. i can't control how my body will look post-op (though i can imagine and suggest to him what I want), can't control if i'll like my new figure (though i can estimate that my self-image will improve overall? it'll be a huge adjustment...). i can't control if 10 years down the line i will have regretted transitioning (and my inner transphobe has a lot to say about that..) . it feels really frightening at times. the way i see myself and others see me is going to change permanently. i worry of my dysphoria travelling south to my hips and bum once the attention is away from my boobs. my fear speaks with the tongue of a facist and tells me that my body is going to look weird and ugly. and when i'm tired and i havent taken deep breathes for a while, it just goes on and on and on and on like that...

i think strangely i'm still a little in denial about being trans. i've been having trans feelings and gender dysphoria since i was like 16 (8 years wtf!!!) and even though it ebbs and flows - some days i can leave the house braless in a t shirt and ignore the dysphoria, some days i can't even look at my chest without wanting to rip them right off me - it's always there. denying it or feeling it deeply, i am having a very trans experience of life rn. i only started tangibly transitioning a few months ago this year w starting testo, changing my name and coming out. i've spent so much time denying and suppressing my transness because i was afraid about what other people thought of me. makes sense to me that i have internalised that ignorant, judgemental voice. it served to protect me for a long time, to tell myself "don't bother, you'll be a freak, you're not trans youre traumatised / mentally ill, you're throwing your life away, people will judge you, you will not be safe."

if i take a moment to distract myself, not think about it, relax, then come back to it, contextualise it, and ground these worries back down to reality, i feel more certain in wanting top surgery. i wore a binder for the first time in a while today (i can't bind very often because of neck/shoulder/back pain - a motive in itself for surgery) and was reminded that i really like how my figure looks flat, and that i can't get flat enough from binding. i tried living as a masculine woman for a long time and it felt like part of me was withering away in secret. though i can't really picture what i'll look like in the future (an... androgynous, dykeish, effeminate man? lol), the idea that these boobs will stay on my body until the day i die does feel unreal to me, makes me feel sad and frantic like i've got to get out of my body. once i get top surgery i think i'll be able to experiment with my style more because i won't have to exclusively wear dark colours to hide the shape of my chest. i'll be able to work out with more ease. my back pain and posture will improve. i wont have to be in this constant compromise between wanting to feel masc/good but having to deal with my huge boobies. i'll hope i'll feel more confident in my masculinity. i won't have to wear uncomfortable shit on my chest once i'm healed up. i think it'll take me some time to adjust to my new silhouette and i think i will feel a bit dysmorphic about the shape of my body BUT. i have spent a lot of time looking at other trans men/mascs top surgery results and i don't judge them nearly as hard as i judge myself - it gives me hope that i can become okay with looking trans. i like seeing the effect T has on me (minus the acne and the hair thinning lol), and often i'm attracted to other trans people FOR their transness. ultimately it helps me best to ask myself what i want, and right now I want to learn how to stop comparing myself to cis people and put more attention into celebrating trans bodies in all their delightful wonkiness. i have hope i can get to a neutral point with my body rather than scrutinising myself for not looking cis.

[authoratmidnight]

🌻

I really wanna yell about how gosh dang queer Mairuma is and just how, casual it is about all of this so I am.

warning for some mild manga spoilers (tho they’re mostly out of context so)

Like, the last thing I expected from a comedy series about a boy becoming the grandson of a demon after being sold to him was, well, it to be really fucking queer.

Like I joke that Azz is a massive Iruma simp (which he is) but like, he looks at him with doe eyed admiration and longing, he just looks so in love (for godsakes his safeword to pull him from a self induced Wicked Phase is Iruma’s name!) He got the big gay dokis for Iruma it’s so not even subtle.

And even if you want to argue it’s just admiration, we DO have canon instances of not straight romantic feelings on page. Gyari is straight up in love with Kuromu and even stated a desire to marry her (and the only person who was like ‘but you’re both girls?’ was the lone human). And then that arc ended with an ACTUAL HONEST TO GOD LOVE CONFESSION! And it seems like those affections were being accepted (ymmv but I got a ‘I know and understand, now prove it by winning my heart’ sort of vibe).

Also the fact that Gyari jumped right to ‘well I have TWO hands so, what if I just married both’ as the solution to her problem (that Kuromu was gonna marry Irumi, Gyrai was like ‘well I can just, marry both of them! problem solved!) has me wondering if poly relationships are not unheard of or that weird.

Love is love as she said.

And there’s Poro and Delkira. Like, Poro is very much, beyond a shadow of a doubt, a gay man. And super in love with Delkira, the demon king. and from the scenes we saw of them they were close (so it’s not like this was just him, like, pining from afar or imagining things not there) and their interactions seemed really affectionate and loving, so to me it does seem like Delkira did return those affections. Whether or not Delkira is was only ever attracted to him/men we have NO idea so I can’t say for certain that he was gay, but he sure as fuck wasn’t straight lol Side note I really love those scenes cause they’re just so tender.

wAIT I almost forgot Eiko, she got big dokis for Iruma after he saved her at the start of the school year. And then proceeded to get the same reaction later on after Ameli saved her ass so like. She hella bi/pan.

And if you want messy queer folk then you could make a hella strong argument for Kirio being big gay too.

And then there’s gender/gender presentation

people need to stop making fucking trap comments i s2g

Opera-san is literally some flavour of nonbinary or agender-they’ve never been referred to w/ gendered pronouns, only ever neutral ones or by name, are physically androgynous and even wore a combination boys-girls uniform while in school. Heck the author herself refuses to answer the question as to what Opera’s gender is.

In fact it seems like not having one is just as normal, even common, as having one given that ‘other’ was even an option on the character creation screen we saw on a video game so like.

And I made that whole post about Lindy and the devidol games and how his tail didn’t raise any eyebrows at all, which leads me, personally, to believe that transness is another thing that’s just accepted. Like I firmly believe a character could be like ‘hey btw I’m a girl/boy now’ and everyone would probably just be happy for them. It hasn’t come up but like, given everything else it just feels, right.

Even the crossdressing seems to be handled, decently for the most part, I feel. It’s not like ‘ha ha ha a man in a dress’ even tho is a comedy series (or at least like, not in a demeaning, derogatory way, and in fact every time someone’s crossdressed they’ve looked, really good). It was more, everything else that was funny (like w/ the devidol games arc the funny came from the fact that Iruma didn’t tell a single person what he was doing so everyone had to find out by seeing him dolled up on TV! And their reactions, those were what was funny.)

the fandom on the other hand needs a good smacking smh

Honestly I think Nishi is just very bold for realizing she can put her boys in cute dresses and then doing just that. Good for her.

And while a bit more, my interpretation of things, Kalego really feels like he’s some flavour of aspec (arospec mainly, but lbr any aspec would fit him I feel). Which I, as someone who’s aspec (and likes Kalego), quite enjoy.

It just, comes up so casually, so naturally in the narrative, and no one ever makes any sort of deal over it cause it’s just, a thing that’s part of their society. 

It’s just, such a nice surprise and kinda refreshing.

tl;dr Mairimashita! Iruma-kun/Welcome to Demon School! Iruma-kun is surprisingly very queer on multiple fronts.

[radiqueer]

I read Natalie’s endnotes to the aesthetic and this is disturbing the fuck out of me so here are some. rambly thoughts I guess. people are welcome to add to this if they like

first she goes “this video is primarily about trans women” and like. caveat that I am not a trans woman, I’m nonbinary & afab so that’s not an experience I have access to in any way. so keep that in mind I guess

I wanted to show a wider audience the way trans people talk about gender amongst ourselves

look...I’m not an expert on trans people or anything but I watched the aesthetic and I can tell you that that’s not how trans people talk about gender. at least, I’ve never known them to. I’ve never participated in a conversation about gender that works that way. 

....no wait. I have. I’ve seen truscum talk about gender, and the way Justine talks pretty much mirrors the way truscum talk. 

I wanted to work through some of my private doubts about common explanations of what it means to be trans

I can’t argue with that.

I also wanted to reconcile the existence of a devoted Tabby fandom with my having created the character as a caricature of leftist ineffectiveness

I mean. how do I say this. I’ve been thinking about the difference between revolutionaries and incrementalists, and it’s clear to me that they need each other. but throughout the video, the way Justine treats Tabby mirrors the way incrementalists treat revolutionaries; as laughable, disposable, pitiable. like they’re caricatures of themselves. 

I had to google what veracity means. 

Some non-binary people disliked this video because they felt that the dialogue excluded or invalidated them. Whereas most of the feedback I got from binary trans people is positive. Which, fair enough—this is a video about binary trans women.

look...I try not to be like “binary privilege” and stuff because when it comes to trans people that concept becomes increasingly incoherent but how else do I talk about how it feels to be a nonbinary person watching that video, listening to people harp on and on about passing, when I myself will never pass? not just because I’m brown even though that plays into it - white people remain the standard of nonbinary presentation and aesthetics - I won’t ever pass. people are never going to look at me and think “oh, nonbinary” because that identity is not articulated in mainstream society at all. and I have to live in mainstream society, right, even as a marginalized person I still exist in the same spaces as other people. 

it feels like this is basically going “articulation of a binary trans identity has to exclude and invalidate nonbinary people” which is how you get truscum. it’s literally. the same thought process. 

I feel like I'm being grossly misunderstood by NBs when they characterize the desire to pass, Justine's point of view, as "respectability politics."

nonbinary people are not characterizing Justine’s (or Natalie’s) desire to pass as respectability politics. they’re characterizing Justine’s efforts to police Tabby’s presentation, and by association the presentation of all trans people who “fail to pass” (scare quotes because Tabby passes just fcking fine) as respectability politics. you can’t misrepresent our position and then accuse us of misrepresenting you. holy shit. 

My wearing long hair, makeup, changing my voice, generally softening my confrontation with the world is nothing like e.g. a black man wearing a suit and speaking in "white voice." I'm not doing "woman voice" to please cis people. I'm doing it because I want to be a woman.

oh god this is a mess. this is such a goddamn mess. starting with that simile I guess but omg Natalie. who the fuck decides what “woman voice” is? why is that song-and-dance necessary to be trans and to be a woman? like if you want to do it for yourself then that’s fine, but trans people remain trans even when denied the ability to perform their real gender. a trans man who is forced by circumstance to wear dresses and heels and makeup when he desperately does not want to is still a trans man. equating your transness with your desire to pass is just, straight up truscum shit. this is why people are calling you a transmed. 

Cis women understand this deeply. They know that they aren't oppressed as women because they psychologically identify as women. They know that misogyny is foisted upon them regardless of their psychology, so long as society views them as women. Trans men escape misogyny to some degree—generally to the degree that society views and accepts them as men. And trans women are in the sad situation of having to claw our way into a social position where we begin to experience misogyny.

dskjhvdkjfhkfdgdslg this is another mess. 

trans women do not have to “claw their way into a social position where they begin to experience misogyny” they already experience misogyny by virtue of being women. a woman who looks like a man is still experiencing the world as a woman. she’s still being affected by the things which affect women. 

trans men are harder to parse because trans men who fail to pass experience misogyny and the associated violence in addition to violence for refusing to conform to their assigned gender. but they’re experiencing all of these things through denial of their real identity. and that colours their experiences to a great degree. additionally, the social aspect of trans manhood is very, very conditional because manhood, even for cis men, is very conditional and highly gatekept. it’s very hard for trans men to access these structures and weaponise them against others outside of like...a tiny bubble saturated with queerness. to simplify, they’re men without privilege. 

It's not psychological identity that makes this happen. It's the interpersonal recognition that comes about as a result of habitually living/performing the identity. Let's be good leftist materialists here.

I don’t know what kind of materialism it is to reject the realness of the mind, of our emotions and experiences, of our internality. I don’t know much about materialism, but if it leads to takes like this I’m not sure I want to. the internet and what happens on it is real. the mind (or brain, or whatever the goopy shit in your head that lets you be a person is, whatever you wanna call it) and the thoughts and emotions it experiences are real. I feel so stupid arguing this. I feel like I’m trying to teach someone that 2+2=4 but I have to start by convincing them that numbers are real. it’s degrading. 

Before I transitioned I identified as genderqueer for a while. I presented basically as what used to be called a male transvestite. People were sometimes shitty about that, but my coming out with the NB identity was greeted mainly by, "sure, whatever bro, wear whatever you want." I found that as an AMAB NB, I was for most intents and purposes—socially, structurally, materially—still a man.

I don’t want to explain someone’s experiences to them but that’s them dismissing the reality of your nonbinary identity. and because you were and are a massively privileged person in every other way. 

surely an account that begins and ends with "I'm not a man because I don't identify as one" is pretty weak.

[uncharitability cw] I mean. sure. lets all set out to prove why we deserve to exist. that’s a good use of the trans community’s time, because we don’t do that enough in our private lives. lets make it the only story we tell. brilliant plan. and then everyone clapped. 

okay and then she goes on for a bit about the relationship between Tabby and Justine, which is fine. they’re good characters. if they were 100% fictional I would write fic for them. thanks for the extra content, I guess. 

The most hurtful things Justine says are my confessions. I have no security in "feeling like a woman." I feel like I'm desperately trying to be a woman though confronted by endless obstacles. It's a shadow that hangs over me every moment of every day. But these are just some feelings I have. I don't have opinions.

I don’t like telling people that they need to cope in private but if you’re coping then the content that you create to cope with your feelings and insecurities needs to be separate from your activism. conflating the two is a really bad idea and I have about 4 years worth of fandom drama on tumblr dot hell to show for it. bad things happen when people look at someone working through their emotions and trauma and go “oh yes, are these your politics?” and worse things happen when you do that to yourself and then you end up being invited to ted talks and fuck a whole bunch of people over. 

I keep trying not to talk about contrapoints because it serves no purpose and leads nowhere - she’s not going to change. but on some level talking about it helps me and maybe someone wants to hear me talk about it I fucking Guess.

this is okay to reblog, and written entirely in response to those tweets. if you’ve got additional responses to those tweets or want to talk about something I said, feel free. but if you’re going to come here and defend contrapoints, then save it. I’ll block you at best. there are times when I can have a rational, nuanced conversation about this but I won’t ever on this post because that’s not what this post is for. 

[jude-harley]

How come you don't understand satire? When Redkatherine drew her OC as a witch boiling trans ppl, her spellbook was a biology textbook. Grow up. You want to be a victim so bad.

actually, i do understand satire. the thing about satire is that, for it to work, you have to be punching upwards, i.e., making fun of someone who is better off than you, not worse off than you, and because she didn’t specify that the people in the pot were trans women, who she views as the patriarchy, you can’t argue that she was punching upwards.

secondly, for satire to work, it was to clearly be satire. in the post about the witch boiling people alive, it’s really not clear that it’s satire. no part of it indicates to me that it’s satire. it’s just her boiling trans people alive using a biology textbook. and one of the hands isn’t even wearing a real flag, so it’s kind of sad that redkatherinee couldn’t even be bothered to look up “gender flag” and just slapped some colors on and called it a day. 

which leads me nicely into my third point: it’s not satire, it’s hyperbole of her viewpoints. satire is meant to be ironic; it’s an exaggeration of someone ELSE’S viewpoints to point out the flaws in them. a fantastic example of satire is the work “a modest proposal,” in which johnathan swift satirically suggests that the irish could solve all their problems if they just ate their own babies. after all, the english thought that the irish needed a can-do spirit and to stop having so many damn babies! swift thought this was stupid, and did not agree with the english, so he made a work in which he took their beliefs and stretched them to the logical extreme to mock how heartless and cruel the english were to the poor irishmen. 

so, lets look at the picture in question.

 if a trans person were to make that same exact picture, but instead caption it, “this is how terfs think of themselves lol,” THAT would be satire. not very good satire, but it would be satire. if redkatherineee were to make an image of, i dunno, trans people handcuffing lesbians to trans women so they’d have sex, that would be satire. again, poor satire, but satire nonetheless, and you would be able to say that it’s satire. 

for example, i’m hoping to god this was meant to be saitre:

http://redkatherinee.tumblr.com/post/168147248964/thank-you-pronounrespecter-3

because it does technically meet the qualifications of satire! redkatherinee believes she’s punching up, and, to her credit, she makes the trans woman white and the woman who i’m guessing is supposed to be the cis lesbian black, giving at least a granule of substance to the notion of the trans woman being the oppressor. she’s also exaggerating the opponent’s points instead of her own, which is what you’re supposed to do in satire. but this one still falls into the trap i mentioned before: it’s not clear whether or not it’s satire. hell, i’m still not entirely sure if it’s meant to be satire or not.

what redkatherinee made with the post you mentioned was not satire. it’s not punching up, it’s not clear that it’s meant to be satire, and it’s exaggerating her own points instead of the points of her opponents. i’m aware that it’s meant to be a joke about how trans rights activists think TERFs are evil witches who want to boil trans people alive, but if you are a terf, making a post where you depict a terf boiling trans people alive is not even REMOTELY close to satire. even if you didn’t mean it, you’re just further proving the point of your opponents! 

finally, i want to discuss another one of redkatherinee’s “satire” pieces, which, in my eyes, solidifies her art as morally repugnant.

this post. 

http://redkatherinee.tumblr.com/post/165547471624/my-new-character-mary-radfem-police-is-always

god, so many things are wrong with this. 

i’ll start simple. again, she’s not punching up. the way she’s framed this, the trans woman isn’t the person in power, it’s the radfem police officer. she’s in a position of authority not only as a police officer, but in the way the art itself is framed. 

again, it’s not fucking clear that it’s satire! i’m not even sure WHAT she’s supposed to be satirizing. i’ll get into more detail about this later, but for now, let’s move on. 

just like with the witch post, redkatherinee isn’t exaggerating things she disagrees with (i think. again, getting into that later.) she appears to be exaggerating her own points in an attempt to pull off the whole “lol this is what the gendershits think we want!!!” thing i talked about earlier, which will always be unsuccessful, but is downright disasterous when you don’t even make it clear that it’s supposed to be satire.

onto the biggest issue with this. god, i really didn’t think i had to say this, but satire has to be hyperbolic to work. i thought we had covered that at the bit about eating babies! this is not hyperbolic in the slightest.

the LGBT community has a long history of substance abuse due to the fact that historically, the only places they could meet up were bars. even today, a large portion of LGBT spots to meet up in person are bars. the LGBT community has a long history of illegal substance abuse due to the fact that a.) the mafia was entangled with gay bars, b.) when being gay is illegal, you can’t effectively keep illegal drugs out of gay meetups since the meetup itself is illegal, and c.) because, in short, LGBT people are more likely to get the shit end of the stick, which in turn makes people more likely to seek drugs out of desperation. so, already, the drug metaphor is really insensitive.

“wait, but she’s just talking about the transes!!!!!111!!!1!”

not really. she might have meant it that way, but that’s not how it comes off. for starters, the drug thing affects the WHOLE LGBT community, not just the T. also, drag queens were also a huge part of the community historically, and thus subject to the same substance abuse issues. drag queens are usually men in dresses, and redkatherinee thinks trans women are just men in dresses. here’s the thing, though. redkatherinee never makes the disclaimer that “oh, drag queens are fine, just don’t try and call yourself a woman :))))).” this image makes no such subtle distinctions. it’s merely the distorted projections of redkatherinee’s views, a man in a dress we’re meant to gawk at and laugh in disgust at. the bulging eyes, the disheveled, dyed hair with horribly glaring roots, the protruding forehead, the faux breasts which clash against the skin, the angled nose and jutted chin dotted with a five o’clock shadow, the fat, lolling, tongue, uncanilly wide smile, the dripping sweat. we aren’t supposed to sympathize with this person. we aren’t supposed to look at them and laugh at how the gendershits think they’re oppressed and overreacting. i daresay we aren’t even supposed to feel pity. we’re supposed to feel disgust. and by trying to evoke that disgust at trans women, at “men in dresses”, redkatherinee alienates drag queens, who were and still are a cornerstone of the LGBT community, and yes, still fall under that category of “more vunderable to substance abuse” which makes this piece oh-so-insensitive, and the drug imagery not hyperbolic enough to fall into the realm of satire. 

so, we’ve established that the drug aspect of this piece cannot be considered satire, whether you view trans women as women or just men in dresses, since both trans women and drag queens, as part of the LGBT community, are at higher risk for drug abuse.

like i said earlier, substance abuse is an issue for all of the lgbt community, so by trying to use drug abuse as a metaphor like this, redkatherinee really just shooting herself in the foot.

“but it’s just the transes!!!!!!!!!!1!!1!!!1!!1″ you cry again, ignoring everything i’ve said about how she’s alienating drag queens who are also a part of the LGBT community. okay then. 

let’s take a closer look at the drugs out caricatured trans woman has stuffed into her bra. 

the drugs in her bra are, from left to right, the pansexual flag, the lesbian flag, the agender flag, and what appears to be the bottom half of the gay flag. 

so, pansexuals, lesbians, and gays. i’m sure even terfs can agree those are all part of the LGBT community. guess what that means! they have to fight off substance abuse too! so, hooray! redkatherinee, a lesbian, has actually shot herself in the foot now!

and, redkatherinee, what did you say your stand on drugs was again?

ah, yes, thank you. redkatherinee has now implied that being pansexual, agender, gay, or a lesbian, is bad. 

“but….. it’s satire… stop……. being so offended………….” you sputter out.

okay, but, on top of everything else i said about how redkatherinee has utterly failed at satire, she depicts the trans flag as a drug too. what message is that supposed to send? like, seriously? what the fuck is she trying to say here? that being trans is bad, like a drug? but she also depicts sexualities as drugs! there’s a lesbian drug! is redkatherinee saying being a lesbian is bad? is she saying drugs turn people gay? is she saying that the LGBT community is but a way for people to cope with the cruel bitterness of the world and that ultimately, the community will self destruct in a chaotic downward spiral and can only avoid its fate by submitting to the hand of radical feminism?

since you clearly don’t know what it is, i’ll give you a helpful tip; that right there was satire. redkatherinee is a lesbian, of course she doesn’t think lesbians are bad. but in a bid to hurt trans women as much as possible, that’s the point that she’s made. 

but oh, redkatherinee couldn’t make her art insensitive enough. no, no, she had to go above and be-fucking-yond. her radfem character arresting her trans caricature is a police officer. 

since being gay was illegal in the US until the 1960s, the relationship between the LGBT community and the police is strained, to say the least.

 so between that and the substance abuse problem, depicting a police officer arresting a trans person for drug usage is, um, how do you say, bad.

hold on. the drug…….. is a metaphor…………… for being trans……………………….. the police officer is radical feminism…………………. holy shit guys it’s so deep

for real though. this is the point where, even if you don’t think trans women are real women, redkatherinee goes from bad, to downright monsterous. 

in the recent past, being trans was, technically, illegal. now, none of these laws said, “transes are to be arrested on the spot!” but “wearing dress of the opposite sex” was illegal. even worse, many of these laws were much more agressive towards “biological males,” as redkatherinee would put it, and these crossdressing laws continued well into the 80′s. hell, the “immoral dress code law” of Oakland, California was only amended in 2010. 

so this? this isn’t satire at all. it isn’t hyperbole at all. there’s no exaggeration here. you can’t claim satire when depicting something that actually happened. and i hope you don’t forget that the trans woman being arrested is also holding gay, lesbian, and pansexual drugs. and you know. “homosexual activites” were also illegal. if you changed the cop to a human, took out the winky face, and removed reference to radical feminism, this would be nigh indistinguishable from propaganda against “degenerate activity.”

look at this piece of anti-gay propaganda. here, drugs are a metaphor for being gay, just like redkatherinees metaphor between drugs and being trans, and, of course, her metaphor between drugs and being gay. remember, that’s not me being hyperbolic! redkatherinee literally drew the trans, lesbian and gay flags as drugs! this fucking regan-era shitstain is more subtle that her work! and this took me two minutes on google search to find!

oh, my friend, but if you thought that was all, you are very, very, wrong. 

see, this is only in the united states. i covered it since that’s a large portion of tumblr’s userbase, and where i’m from. but redkatherinee isn’t from the united states. no, she’s from russia.

you know, where it’s actually, literally illegal to be gay. and actually, literally illegal to be trans. and you can be actually, literally, arrested for those things.

in conclusion. i understand satire. redkatherinee either doesn’t, or is so gung ho to shit on trans women that she forgoes it until she needs a defense to look like a decent human being, and in the process, fucks over the entire LGBT community. if you think redkatherinee’s work is “satire”, then i think i’ll be performing some “brain surgery” on you with a rock.

[kosmicdream]

I was thinking about scissor the other day (fantastic reveal by the way) and then thought about the conversation paper and scissor were having most recently & I was wondering if you wouldn't mind talking about their dynamic little (if you wanted)??

Certainly! I mean. I’ll try to. as you can guess its gotten a bit more complicated as we have found out about Scissor. Here is a long assortment of my thoughts on the characters and their dynamics, i guess.

We already knew Scissor had violated Paper’s boundaries, (somewhat) forcefully manipulated her into working for him and also aggressively insulted/combated her morals.. phew.. but to add to that now, we find that Scissor is not actually a robot. He isn’t in the position he claims to be. It makes him that much more of a hypocrite, really. But, he is still defending the actual person’s rights he does genuinely care about, which is Cash.. who is unable to be in the position to call people out on their opinions on robots.. and who has completely agreed to let Scissor pretend to be her all in the quest to free herself and memories from the humans since Leadman has gone somewhat comatose.. So, in any case, there are many complicated layers of what is lies and what is truth. How does scissor use lies for his quest of truth, and how does the present established truth (such as, robots are not alive) hold back progress. All the while, some issues never go away. AKA, Transness is still disputed as being a legitimate thing, even in a world of shapeshifting monster people. Paper struggles to be seen as a specific binary gender where her species is often open to debate for not biologically adhering to established connotations of what is male and female. Hekaton species is.. pretty awful in terms of determining gender as being WHATEVER your eyes are. They also tend to judge the bodies, that they should reflect what they determine to be “the human equivalent” of what a male or female body should look like.. so. In this case, Knife is certainly a confusing case for not only being a Transman (what, why would anyone want to do that!!1 screams almost every hekaton YOU ARE FORFITTING YOUR SPECIAL CARD oh wait you cant even lay eggs? nvm) and then generally preferring to keep his boobs. And yeah, that was a difficult thing for Spoon to get around to understand at first, but once it clicked with him it was a very freeing experience-- not only for himself, but he was able to spread to others.. like Cash!This has gotten far away from the dynamic between Paper/Scissor but like....as u can see its difficult to determine who the fuck Scissor is, because.. he is Spoon, but he is -- Spoon avoiding being himself. He is embodying an idea or purpose of something else. Its the only way he can feel he can survive at this point by, sacrificing all his real feelings about his life and leaping into the skin and shoes of someone else he cares about, so he can do something good and helpful to them. That is how he finds he can keep going after this loss of his loved one. Cash doesn’t.. completely agree with these choices. But, It is what Scissor wants. And she did say she would do anything for him. And in this situation, she is getting a huge amount of help and support shes always desperately needed too, so, its a benefit for her as well. It still doesn’t make it the easiest thing to watch. It kind of seems like Scissor is progressively killing himself by destroying his hekaton self completely. He wants to believe he’s a robot instead. Who can turn off emotions, bottle memories and keep going as planned. In a way, that ‘perception’ of what it takes to be a robot kind of feels.. insulting. Like, you can be a cyborg and wear my skin and literally fight for my rights but you cannot actually become me, or understand what it is to be me. Of course, Spoon knows he’s doing this, He apologizes (profusely) well, tries to, he brings up how bad he is at apologizing, the memories flood back of his mistakes, he remembers the last words he got to say to knife, how he’ll never see him again, he starts to unravel, it all gets dark again. Cash.. lets it slide for the sake of her friend, Its far more important he live.. somewhat delusionally, somewhat insultingly, instead of not living at all. He is in so much pain, its wounds are fresh unlike hers. She knows that pain and she knows that she has her own.. imperfect coping mechanisms that she uses to bury her true feelings. Which are those again? She has to find them. Its not a perfect situation by any means. But they are surviving anyway. And with scissor the way he is, Cash is able to reflect on her own issues. She wants to be able to help her loved ones, but she realizes that to do that she also has to help herself. So she is finding the patience, the understanding and forgiveness of all these things when others can’t do that. She is unsure if she will ever have the answers she needs but she is going to pursue them as fearlessly as she can, for the sake of her loved ones.Anyway. Onto paper! FinallyScissor likes Paper. He thinks she’s fun and he likes how mean and nasty she can be. He likes that shes judgmental, its fun to play with people like that. He likes how she reacts to things in a violent way but also, obviously, has a big sentimental side that shes trying hard to conceal (But isn’t able to at all.) He is obviously preying on her because she’s in a vulnerable position and he knows it wont be long before someone else does. But, to gain the trust of a worm is a very good thing to have. He knows how loyal they are, that can be useful in situations. It also helps that paper is a little.. Tunnel visioned, like most hydragora worms tend to be. It makes it easy to sneak past their blind spots and confuse them. Scissor kind of does circles around Paper... Its rock he’s more worried about. Rock is a robotics expert........he might have already seen signs that Scissor might not be a Robot.Paper is fucking terrified of Scissor and wants to shoot him into outer space, but then thinks, oh god can robots survive in outer space? fuck me, they totally can. I fucking hate robots. What the fuck did i do to deserve this creepy green asshole fucking with my life. What do i have to do to get rid of him. Oh my god I hate this so much even if he might be my only chance to getting my poor sweet Helix out of prison. I fucking hate everything.So in the end, their relationship is basically, Scissor is manipulating Paper, but Paper is trying her best to figure out how she can manipulate him instead because she DOES want things from Scissor. However, she is too scared and doesnt have the right tools avaliable to do this successfully, so shes kind of cornered. She finds this exceptionally annoying because she hates being cornered. It is not in her nature to accept those sorts of things. She only reserves subservience to those she loves dearly (Like Crimson, rest in peace) not to asshole strangers that threaten and berate her. SHE CANT EVEN PUNCH HIS FACE N HAVE THE SATISFACTION OF SEEING HIM BLEED iTs so annoying. I am eating lunch and I forgot what else I wanted to write, I am too lazy to proofread so enjoy this collection of my thoughts. Goodbyemy after thought as im about to publish: “Talk about it a little they said. Why dont i ever talk about it a little. ITs always SO MUCH”