#god tier monster concept. absolutely legendary

[rocketbirdie]

it's SLIME TIME

[aion-rsa]

I Think You Should Leave Season 2: Ranking Every Sketch

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How on Earth did we survive two years without new episodes of Netflix’s brilliant sketch comedy series I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson? The first batch of six episodes premiered on April 23 of 2019 and proved instantly iconic. 

Contained within the season’s roughly two-dozen sketches was absolutely hilarious and essential comedy that provided ample memetic kindling for the internet’s conversational fire. For the focused enough mind, it’s entirely possible to communicate with one’s friends exclusively in I Think You Should Leave memes. Lord knows, I’ve tried it.

Thankfully, ITYSL season 2 has finally arrived on Netflix after its COVID-19 delay. It features 28 sketches that range from “pretty funny” to “I can’t stop laughing. Oh God, I can’t stop laughing. It hurts, surely this is the end. Surely, I will die.”

Check out our rankings below and then begin yelling at our chances like Spectrum is dropping your network.

28. Credit Card Roulette

If nothing else, Tim Robinson and I Think You Should Leave co-creator Zach Kanin are incredible comedy scouts. Through two seasons, the show’s sketches have been a who’s who of up-and-coming comedic talent, like the wonderful John Early who is featured in this sketch. Unfortunately Early is not served well by the material here, which doesn’t rise to the same ludicrous heights as season 2’s other sketches. The best moment is Early’s immediate resolve that he’s not paying the bill, but the sketch doesn’t go too far after that. 

27. Dave’s Poop Double

The sketch that serves as the cold open of season 2’s final episode doesn’t get things off to the best start. The concept of Tim’s “Luka” hiring a guy who looks just like his coworker Dave to take monster shits every time he gets up is certainly fun but missing an important layer of added absurdity. Luka is probably the best name for any of Robinson’s random characters yet though.

26. Little Buff Boys Pt. 2

Season 2 features many more callbacks to previous sketches than the first season did. This followup to Little Buff Boys is the worst of the bunch but still quite funny. Perhaps the only thing more absurd than a Little Buff Boys competition is someone being proud of running “one of” the biggest LBB competitions in the Greater Cincinnati area. This sketch also passes up an easy Cincinnati Chili joke in favor of creating the truly vile “cherry chuck salad.”

25. Detective Crashmore Trailer

This trailer for action thriller Detective Crashmore is funny enough on its own but doesn’t reach another comedic level until the AOL Blast interview two sketches later. Still, I unironically want to see an action film with a lead character whose main quip is “Eat fucking bullets, you fuckers. You fucking suck. You fucking SUCK!”

24. I Should Have Got That

I Think You Should Leave deserves a big spread in AARP magazine. No other sketch show revels in the talents of older comedians quite like this one. After 81-year-old comedian Ruben Rabasa stole the show in season 1, season 2 ups the ante with many more sketches letting old folks shine. It’s Bob McDuff Wilson’s turn this time around and his child-like obsession with his student’s burger kills right up until the shockingly dark kicker.

23. Office Surfing

“I almost killed myself, Jullliieeeeee” is one of the best line-reads of the season. The sketch it’s built around isn’t too remarkable but man, does Robinson knock that one out of the park. 

22. “No, I Don’t Know How to Drive”

This is a quickie but a goodie. Robinson’s characters break down in tears quite often this season and this is one of the better occasions. How far have Tim’s characters come – from reveling in the existence of four-wheeled motorcycles to looking at the inside of a car and weeping “I don’t know what any of this shit is and I’m fucking scared.”

21. The Capital Room

Speaking of top tier comedic talent, thank God Patti Harrison stopped by another season of I Think You Should Leave. This time around, we get two heaping doses of Patti. This one, the first of the two, is the inferior but still quite great. In the span of roughly 30 seconds, Harrison unveils the saga of a woman who A. Got sewn into the pants of the Thanksgiving Day parade Charlie Brown float, B. Hates all bald boys, C. Sued the city and won a fortune, D. Is now helplessly addicted to wine, and E. Is tragically self-aware that her money will run out soon.

20. But It’s Lunch

Just like last year’s opening sketch, “But It’s Lunch” (this is probably a good time to mention, that I’m naming all of these things myself. You could very easily call this the Hotdog sketch but that would confuse it with last year’s hotdog sketch) sets the perfect opening mood. The sight gag of Robinson’s Pat trying to stealthily eat a hotdog is wonderful, and the fact that things so quickly escalate to hotdog surgery and puke is just sublime. 

19. Carber Hotdog Vacuum

The follow-up to “But It’s Lunch” occurs a full two episodes later and proves to be a hell of a pay-off. Robinson’s unnamed character (who is obviously Pat) very quickly reveals that there is one very specific reason he made this hotdog vacuum invention and you’ll never guess what it was. We all make mistakes. We shouldn’t be fired for them.

18. Insider Trading Trial (Stupid Hat)

This sketch somewhat mimics the experience of trying to explain what I Think You Should Leave is like to someone who has never seen it. “So, this guy took too small a slice of toilet paper…” or “…and then he has to have to have sex with his mother-in-law.” “Insider Trading” rotely describes the bizarre behaviors of one of Robinson’s deeply strange characters, Brian, as it’s being read into the court record. Brian and his stupid fedora with the safari flaps is in attendance to provide a visual aid. As are some hilarious flashbacks in which Brian attempts to roll the hat down his arm like Fred Astaire and instead encounters only wheelchair grease. 

17. The Ice Cream Store is Closed Today

Before he was a criminal lawyer, Bob Odenkirk was one of the most legendary sketch writers of all time. It’s only fitting that he stop by ITYSL season 2 to provide his comedic blessing. Odenkirk is great from the get-go but this one doesn’t really get rolling until the end when Robinson finds himself truly immersed in the fictional life of this sad old man. “His wife’s sick but she’s gonna get better” is a shockingly emotional moment amid pure farce.

16. Barbie and the Blues Brothers

This is the sketch that climbed the most in my rankings upon a second viewing. What first seemed to be a waste of Conner O’Malley’s manic comedic energy became a semi-classic once I submitted to its strange vibes. I don’t even know what to call this one but Robinson’s character refusing to stop dancing as Barbie the dog melts down is hilarious. O’Malley is better served by last season’s “honk if you’re horny” sketch, still he gets some bangers in this time around like “She thinks he’s a whole new guy because of the glasses and the hat” and “it’s her house, she’s doing what’s right!” Robinson once again closes this nonsense out with some well-earned tears. “It’s just me, Barbie. I’m not the Blues Brothers.”

15. Jaime Taco (I Love My Wife)

“Jamie Taco” is a prime example of just how rapidly (and how well) I Think You Should Leave is able to veer into pure nonsensical genius. At the top, this sketch comes perilously close to making an actual statement about how men are too quick to pretend like their wives are horrible nags. This sketch, however, has its sights set on something much dumber…and therefore better. Our hero (played hilariously by Richard Jewell’s Paul Walter Hauser) loves his wife because she helped him through his darkest moment, which just so happens to be when snotty young actor Jamie Taco refused to let him say his Henchman lines in a play.

14. Comos Restaurant 

All hail the return of the great Tim Heidecker! Heidecker, of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! fame, is one of the few comedians with a strange enough sensibility to be reasonably seen as an I Think You Should Leave forerunner. His season 1 turn as a walnut-obsessed jazz douche is a classic and this one reaches similar heights. This time, Heidecker’s character, Gary, and his lovely date, Janeane (Tracey Birdsall), have good reason to be annoyed by their date night at the sci-fi cosmos restaurant being interrupted by some hacky jokes. Of course, they use this opportunity to reveal that Jeannine’s mom used to drink puke for the Davy and Rascal radio show to pay for school supplies. It’s oddly refreshing to have a Heidecker character given a game partner and Gary and Janeane make one great team.

13. Detective Crashmore Interivew

While the Detective Crashmore trailer is the setup, this interview with AOL Blast is the punchline. Detective Crashmore is played by Santa Claus, because why not? Actor Biff Wiff’s gruff, nasally Midwestern timber is the perfect accent to accompany this lunacy. This is a Santa who in one breath demands to be taken seriously as an actor (Billy Bob Thornton-style) and in the next admits to seeing everyone in the world’s dick.

12. Sloppy Steaks (I Used to Be a Piece of Shit)

From here on out, it’s nothing but absolute homeruns. “Sloppy Steaks” could very well have been number one on this list and few would have batted an eye. The setup here is amazing as it gives Tim Robinson a reason to essentially have beef with a baby. The baby cries because he knows Robinson used to be a piece of shit. But don’t babies understand that people can change? That’s funny enough to begin with, but the real gut-busting moment here is the reveal of what “being a piece of shit” really means. In this case it means slicking one’s hair back and dousing the steaks at Truffoni’s with water to make sloppy steaks.

11. Johnny Carson Impersonator

Just a quick rundown for those who are confused…

Johnny Carson = Can Hit. George Kennedy = Can’t Hit. George Bush = Can’t Hit. 

10. Driving School (Her Job is Tables)

This is the rare I Think You Should Leave sketch that actually provides an answer to all the lunacy. As Robinson’s character’s Driver’s Ed class watches Patti Harrison’s actress in some dated videos, they can’t help but wonder what she does for a living. “Tables,” Robinson answers over and over again. This would be funny enough on its own but the reveal that Harrison provides tables to Monster Cons is a rare and valuable moment of “Ohhhhh that’s why” for this show. Equally as valuable is Harrison, who really sells that those tables are her lifeblood.

9. Claire’s Ear-Piercings

One has to wonder how much time goes into choosing the perfect “order” for the sketches in I Think You Should Leave. Two seasons in a row now, the show has selected pitch perfect opening and closing sketches. This closing number is oddly melancholic as the Claire’s orientation video for girls who want to get their ears pierced somehow gives way to one 58-year-old man named Ron Tussbler’s existential dread. If we really get to see the “highlights” after we die, forcibly fake laughing every ten minutes to make the voyeuristic experience all the richer sounds like a good strategy and not sad at all. Hang in there, Ron.

8. Little Buff Boys Competition

What. A. Crop. It was a virtual certainty that ITYSL season 2 would feature a spiritual successor to the classic “Baby of the Year” sketch in season 1. Thank God “Little Buff Boys” is up to the challenge of replicating that magic. This one has all the right elements to be another hit: Sam Richardson (in a wig this time, no less), a grand pageant hall, and some precocious youths. Troll Boy also joins the canon of young ITYSL characters who everybody instinctively hates alongside Bart Harley Jarvis.

7. Tammy Craps

There’s something weirdly nefarious about this commercial for a poisonous doll that doesn’t have farts in her head anymore. It’s a criticism of late stage capitalism crossed with the cursed nature of the Annabelle movies…while not being like either of those things at all. In reality, this is just another absurdist concept sprung from the terrifying inner depths of the writing staff’s mind. It also happens to be a particularly great one. The girl weighing her clothes down with rocks so she can hit the magical 60-pound threshold to safely play with Tammy Craps is one of the best gags of the season.

6. Karl Havoc

“Little Buff Boys Competition” and another upcoming sketch are likely to produce the lion’s share of memes and quotes from this season of ITYSL. But the one quote that’s stuck in my mind most aggressively comes from this hilarious episode 1 clip. The sight of Robinson’s Carmine Laguzio posing as the dead-faced freakshow Karl Havoc and muttering “I don’t want to be around anymore” is quite simply one of the funniest things I’ve ever witnessed. This is a marvelous, unnerving, utterly hilarious sketch. That there are somehow five better sketches speaks to how strong this season is. 

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5. Dan Flashes Pt. 1 (Office)

I Think You Should Leave is now two for two in introducing the most cutting edge items in men’s fashion. Season 1 featured the arrival of the highly practical TC Tugger shirt. Now season 2 ups the ante with the stylish Dan Flashes. This sketch succeeds because it takes a simple question “Why is Mike laying down during a business meeting?” and divines the most outlandish answer possible. Mike isn’t eating because he’s spending all his money on Dan Flashes shirts. 

4. Dan Flashes Pt. 2 (Hotel Menu)

It’s one thing to introduce a hilarious concept, it’s another thing entirely to put it into practice. This second entry into the Dan Flashes canon is amazing. Back in part 1, it seemed as though the intricate patterns on the Dan Flashes shirts have a hypnotic effect on men who look exactly like Tim Robinson. Seeing the reality of that – pasty men battling one another to get their credit cards to the cashier before the other – is truly hilarious stuff.

3. Coffin Flop

This is the second sketch of the entire season…the second! And holy shit, does it set a strong precedent for what’s to come. This impassioned message from the Corncob TV CEO for Spectrum to save his network and its precisely one television program is a masterclass in shock humor. Watching body after body busting out of shit wood somehow never loses its grim luster. Somehow, in a sketch that features dozens of naked corpses flopping to the ground unexpectedly, it’s Robinson’s monologue that hits the hardest. “This world is so fucked up. And people are mad at me because I showed a bunch of naked dead bodies with their spread blue butts flying out of boxes? Really?”

2. Calico Cut Pants

Every episode of I Think You Should Leave season 2 features five sketches save for episode 4 which has only three. And that’s because episode 4 is dominated by a near 10-minute epic called “Calico Cut Pants.” In many ways, Calico Cut Pants is the platonic ideal of an ITYSL sketch. It takes place in a nightmarish world where every bizarre action only leads to an even more bizarre reaction. Nothing ever cools down. There is always something stranger on the horizon.

In this instance, Mike O’Brien (longtime SNL writer and the creator of the terminally underrated comedy A.P. Bio) plays an office drone who enters into a living hell merely because his co-worker helps him out of a mildly annoying social jam. Robinson’s character introduces him to a website that advertises pants with piss stains on them. That’s all well and good but once you know about Calicocutpants.com you Always. Have. To. Give. It’s like PBS, but more demonic. This remarkable sketch includes everything that’s great about this show, right down to characters with inexplicable idiosyncrasies like Tim Robinson’s adamance that doors must always be held open for him.

1. Ghost Tour

The funniest moment in ITYSL season 2 (and maybe the funniest moment in the history of the world) occurs in this sketch. Tim Robinson’s character has been admonished for his potty mouth during a ghost tour over and over again. The tour guide even said he’s ruining his job. But this poor man sincerely cannot understand why he’s in trouble. This is a tour for adults and he’s following the rules by using adult language. Like any good Robinson character, he truly believes that he’s the sane one and it’s the rest of the world that’s taking crazy pills.

So in his darkest moment, the man musters up his strength through tears and delivers the following query:

“Not trying to be funny. Not trying to get a laugh. I don’t want anybody to have the worst day at their job. But. Do any of these….fuckers….ever blast out of the wall and have, like a huge cum shot?”

Cue: riotous, damn near apocalyptic laughter. What a treasure and blessing this whole show is.

I Think You Should Leave season 2 is available to stream on Netflix now.

The post I Think You Should Leave Season 2: Ranking Every Sketch appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[damnnjoon]

100 reasons to love Haechan

his voice is so sweet oh my god

how he has two sides to him and they’re both so Good (joking prankster vs super caring member)

he’s so witty?? my quick boy

king of concepts like he can pull off literally everything

how proud he is of his skin like!!!! he’s glowing and he k n o w s

idk if it’s talked about often but you can tell how much he loves dancing honestly and i love it a lot

his english when he sings or speaks in english

yaja time!haechan

his performance face vs his general resting face/demeanor are worlds apart and i love it so much

HAECHAN SORRY SORRY FANCAM

his neck mole is so cute... 

...and the scar above his right eye, too

all of his moles actually they’re beautiful

he’s proud of his legs and i’m glad like!! he’s so body positive about himself it makes my heart happy

nct’s main visual

sherlock!haechan was legendary 

when they surprised jisung for his birthday and he started crying and haechan and mark immediately went to him to cheer him up..i think about that everyday

the time on mySMT when they all had to smile and he looked at the camera and smiled SO WIDELY my heart was so full when i watched it

pianist!haechan he loves the instrument you can tell

the 19 second recording of baby don’t like it that he sang on NNN

his affinity for bucket hats. can he see with that over his eyes? probably not but it’s okay because we can see how good he looks

his freestyle in his boy video! look at my talented ult

that time on NCT life where he put salt into everyone’s sprite and i think soy sauce into everyone’s coke #prankd

when 127 was on nimdle and answering questions about each other and he asked the members if they knew what body part he’s proudest of and mark went “birdlike chest” or something along those lines and haechan made as if to punch him

he just really loves monster by exo

the almost tangible difference between nct dream haechan and nct 127 haechan

i love his given name btw, lee donghyuck is such a nice name too??

he’s so good at cooking 

mark changed his laugh after being around haechan so much that’s #bffgoals

that time he dressed up as a girl and ended up falling for yuta because..i

his general love for taeyong’s face. like taeyong’s his aesthetic

BOOMING SYSTEM U-UP, TY TRACK, TY TRACK

pink hair pink hair pink hair pink hair (we young) (it looks s o g o o d)

his role is moodmaker in dream and like!! he’s so proud of it i’m so glad

when they had that “All about Dream” special or whatever and he was sucking up to the teacher lol

he and jeno #prankd jisung by changing his ipad wallpaper to a cockroach #ripjisung2k17

his michael jackson impressions are actually LEGENDARY

his opening line in “heartbreaker” 

that one line in Back 2 U that saved literally everyone’s lives (the one after doyoung’s towards the end of the song)

king of 127′s backing vocals. listen to baby don’t like it stripped down. you will cry

his solo dance in cherry bomb

that one time he #prankd mark by acting like seulgi during the smrookies period

i really like listening to him just speak btw like his voice in general is kind of teasing and just nice i really love it a lot

idk if ive mentioned it but his laugh also just!!! pure!!!

king of girl group choreo...king of boy group choreo...king of choreo

“gimme that gimme that ice cream” 

used to mess with his grandma’s makeup when he was younger 

honestly just all of nct life in paju because haechan was so iconic in it like that soccer game oh my god and not to mention snack time and his failed karaoke that was so bad they never showed it and his god tier breakfast the last morning like wow

when he and mark missed that nct life entertainment retreat because of schedules and chenle and jisung roasted them and haechan was like “when i get back you’re dead”

his high note after mark’s “show them how we do it” in playboy

haechan in headbands is a Look

that one meme video with chenle, jeno, haechan, and that stick (i never found subs so i don’t...know what happened in that video)

haechan looks really good in button down shirts...he’s unreal...born to be famous

the harper’s bazaar shoot

him and mark’s handshake has stayed the extra same in all aspects (include level of extraness <3) since predebut days

“swag”

KING OF WEARING CONTACTS

he’s the entire universe in himself - his eyes sparkle like a thousand stars and looking at him is like looking straight at the sun and just wow

whenever he tries to keep his laughter in he makes The Face and i love it

when performing live he sounds like he ate the record for breakfast he’s that good

he lisps and it’s the best thing to happen to me

the ivy club photoshoot. just.

he pulls off like.. everything from like massive sweaters and denim shorts to full like blazer/slacks/dress shirt like...wow

airport fashion on point

bought a radio because jaehyun and johnny host a radio show

HAECHAN FOR SUPERCOMMA B

haechan + confetti = name a more iconic duo

the shape of his lips is so nice?? wow

his nose too!!! perfect

his teeth are like perfect too like so..nice looking idk

that time where he gave no fucks and took off the heavy ass jacket and threw it to the side during that performance of cherry bomb because he knows what’s Good For Him

the taste the feeling cf 

the camera Look with The Eyebrows

that iconic duet with guitarist!jeno of love yourself by justin bieber

that expression/laugh he did that time he was going to do scissors during That Move in MFAL so he could win against mark but jisung thwarted his plans and mark played rock and haechan got roasted af onstage

i know ive mentioned his dancing before but hes SO SMOOTh his moves are EFFORTLESS

he looks A1 in denim jackets

when he acts cute to get what he wants

looks so excited and happy at fanmeets

apparently he’s really touchy with the members and stuff that’s adorable

never shows how sensitive he can be and tries to make everyone laugh

his head tilt!! you know the one

when he tries to get other members to talk on air (especially with the dreamies)

is a member of the powerful af SM ‘00 line

when nct dream tried to do that let’s dance and haechan kept messing them up because he wanted to dance to the other groups

when he pretended to be a mime

he danced to russian roulette and it was absolutely amazing

his resting face is kind of “bored looking” so when he goes from resting to being really engaged it’s like a flipped switch i love it so much

the cover of billionaire he and mark did predebut

how he puts his hand on yuta’s shoulder to steady himself during the split move in cherry bomb

the way he looks in a basketball uniform (credit: @whoisyuta )

he puts his whole soul into his voice

his vocal range is ridiculously versatile

i love his wrists?? is it just me they’re so pretty maybe i’m going crazy lol but like watches and bracelets and stuff.nice

the cherry bomb outfit with the black sweater and camo pants and camo jacket tied at the waist he !! wow

when he wears glasses!!

hes so young and he still keeps up with all the 127 members and works hard with them and does 12 hour dance practices with them like what a legend

when his members do embarrassing things on air he buries his face in his hands out of secondhand embarrassment like...me too

king of promoting other sm groups

he just puts his all into everything and works so hard and deserves the world and!!!! wow just wow. an angel. an ethereal empyrean individual

[shonikado]

Possible solution to the level 30 problem: the modifier caps at 19, but you automatically get an extra advantage for each point beyond that?

Also, for my D&D5e-wrangling purposes specifically: players always succeed if d20+mod >= 20, and just let them win ties?

Possible thought: only creatures benefit from the "nat 20 is auto-success" rule? (Though the above change invalidates the nat 20 rule)

This one is NOT well-organized and is ramble-y, so, advising against the readmore

it’s sorta like, the bullet points above are my solutions, and everything below is showing my work. Or concept art. Except it’s less interesting and more word-eresting.

So the three points above the readmore were extracted from this post. Originally it was just the "level 30 problem" thing, then near the end I added the two other ideas. So, keep that in mind, as we now enter the unedited post:

bounded accuracy arguably holds. Like, if you wanted to land one attack on that Lv.30 god per turn, I think you'd need: * About 40 peasants/fighters (Lv.0 or Lv.1) * About 20 heroes (Lv.11) * About 6 legendary heroes (Lv.20) which seems reasonable to me.

an unfortunate note arises, though - once you're converting modifier differences into advantages, it means you can't just let the players add whatever stats or item bonuses they like without involving them in the system. Because if they have a +1 to Strength while hitting that god, that changes the number of advantages involved. Unless modifiers and level bonuses are treated separately somehow, which, ugh,

Really though this is only a concern because I'd like level 1 players to look at a level 20 dungeon, then look at a level 30 dungeon, and be able to differentiate the 30 as being harder than the other. Instead of "these are both equally difficult because we're that low-leveled, if we wanted to try one we may as well do the 30". And additionally, the idea of saying "you'll totally fail going into either" bothers me because if they WANT to risk it, they should be able to.

sigh

I mean what I -could- do is say that level stuff all works as-is but player modifiers change how likely you are to get a crit - like, if you have +1 to Strength, then 19+1 is a crit just as much as 20+1 is a crit. Except when comparing crits, which would need more rules, possibly like "highest natural number wins, if it's a tie then highest modifier wins, if THAT'S a tie then see whatever your rules are for ties". How would that impact the probabilities of success now that there's an entirely separate thing mucking it up? Will it be weird if I don't also give enemies the same stat boosts? Will it be weird if I do? But then I have to track potentially small numbers again. But they might significantly skew the probabilities otherwise.

I feel like this is the obvious result of trying to reconcile two different systems in a way that restricts me from imposing new rules on players

also I feel like my problems mostly arise from the fact that I very very enjoy the idea of a system that doesn't impose limits, so things can go on forever. This is only a problem if I say I want level 30s, but I could just stick with 20s. And there's possibly solutions to the 30s that don't affect the players (increase THEIR crit range?) but then what about 40s? 50s? 100s? There is no satisfying my desire to put increasingly bigger numbers on the table

but where does it end, really

0 has meaning, you're not adventurey - 1 has meaning, you're just starting. 20 has meaning, you're a legendary badass. 30 has meaning, you're a god. What is 40? God-dad? Is 50 the universe? 60's the multiverse? This isn't like a game where a level is just "I can fight things also this level", this is a game where the level is a representation of how powerful that character is in relation to the world. So there HAS to be a cap, where the most powerful thing you can interact with is.

which is probably not gods, if we're gonna be honest. 20 seems like a totally fair endcap for "the most powerful beings of the mortal realm" and anything beyond that is just beyond levels to begin with

and we can simulate level 0s by making them level 1s with a "civilian" or "small animal" trait that just gives them disadvantage always. Done.

oh but there's still the concern of player stats other than level, then

mothrfk

ALSO I STILL HAVEN'T WRITTEN THE SUMMARIES I NEED TO DO THAT but I've been busy actually planning D&D and doing Productive Things (job hunting!) so. That'll happen... Eventually.

okay but if we say player-added modifiers can increase crit chance, maybe that's good enough. Maybe that's fine. Except for the characters who have +11 stealth even though they're only level 5 because they min-max'd super hard and are going to end up with... Hm. 6*2+5=17? Which means they'd crit on absolutely any valUE SHIT ROLLING ATTACKS TO HIT THE PLAYERS. I can't devalue their AC and I can't devalue monster AC either probably can I. I don't think I can.

well there you go. AC has to stay. It was always a special case anyway, not super surprised or bothered. (I am bothered.)

But yeah, if you can add +17 to a roll, possibly more, and 20+ counts as a crit, that's a 90% chance to crit, meaning a 90% chance to succeed regardless of who you're up against if they aren't also employing crit-boosting. Barring complex crit-discerning rules. The running theme here is that I don't actually know the probabilities, that's what I write programs for!

If a level 1 with +4 to stealth goes up against a level 30 with no stealth bonus, the level 1 has a 25% chance to crit while the level 30 has, like. A 43% chance to crit because they get a shitton of bonus so let's scale back and instead talk about a level 20. Who only has a 5% chance to crit.

I think maybe what I should do here is look at it from the perspective of "what effect would this have had when added in addition to levels" and if it matches up reasonably, then I'm fine taking it to whatever logical extreme it ends up going towards. To do that I will need to math a bit.

oh, well, there's a concern. If critting means "20 or higher", what happens when your bonus is +19? You always crit. Unless 1 is an auto-fail. But anyway, if you always crit, and enemies can also do the same, then it means you'll both never crit because you always have it and that means it goes towards regular ties. Unless 20 is a "true crit" that beats any other crit, except for cases where they're both natural 20s, in which case the higher number wins as usual, with ties sometimes happening. Which is. Maybe complicated.

Maybe, making things worse, there's crit tiers? So, for starters, check for nat 20s. If those are not present, check what each roll's crit level is. 1-19 is a 0 - 20-39 is 1 - etc., just divide by 20 rounding down. If someone's higher, they win. Otherwise, if it's a tie, compare modifiers. Wait. If someone's crit tier was higher then they'd have already won by having a higher number, right? Wait, no. It doesn't increase the actual number, it increases... something... ... okay so. Level is an entirely separate deal. These modifiers DIRECTLY modify the die. If neither person rolled a natural 20 then it's just... It's just a strict comparison, isn't it? Wait. The idea is that if both people crit, it's a comparison, meaning you can't have more crit than, the other, person. ... if I have +19 and roll a 1, I have 20. That's a crit. If you have +16 and roll a 5, that's a 25, you crit. We're both critting, so we strictly compare numbers. Yours is higher, you win. Why is 20 a crit, then? What's different between me rolling a 20 and you rolling oh. Modifiers. Right. Wait. Okay so a 20 is automatically a win. And if that doesn't happen then we compare the numbers. We're saying you can win with a lesser number than 20 with your modifier. Because it makes the number higher. no no the level modifier is basically saying "you must win by this much" and a 20 is saying "nah I win anyway" but we can compare numbers so let's do that so I roll a 16, you roll a 12 but you're 5 levels higher. So you get a 17(12) and I have a 16. If you roll a 17 and get 22(17) and I have a 20 then I win. But I can make it so I win on a 19 AND a 20 by using that modifier. So I guess there's Natural, Bonus, and Final? Natural 20 beats Bonus 20, Bonus 20+ beats Final Anything, or something how does this shake out once I have a +19 bonus, only X(20) can beat me, even from high-leveled things. Let's format this as... Natural->Skill->Level? Maybe Luck->Skill->Practice so, if I'm level 5, have a +19 bonus and roll a 1, that's 1->20->25 A singular lucky 20 wins. A singular skillful 20 wins. Lucky 20s being opposed just means "ignore them". Skillful 20s being ignored means going beyond +19 is pointless. Let's compare these two: 10->30->35 15->30->35 They're both skill crits, in the same tier if we're doing the tier thing. Well, what does 19 mean? It means you're absurdly skillful. Maybe the most skillful you can possibly be. There's no way to be more skilled at what you're doing. Again - caps are needed to explain the world. So a +19 means you've achieved perfection. There is nowhere left to go. Except if I can find a way to make +20 meaningful that'd be nice Well, against someone else with skill, you'd both be in crit territory, meaning it'd come down to who rolled higher. Note: having a high bonus may result from being decked out with magic items or being under some sort of buff. Maybe we just can't cap that bonus? But it obviously stops being relevant to anyone except for people who have rivaling bonuses. The super-buffed person can still lose if their opponent gets a nat 20 and buffperson doesn't. But that is the "0 is just as good as 11" issue from earlier... Except I'm not sure how bothered I am by -this- case. Once you're impossibly good at something, being even more impossibly good won't chance the little unknown consequences popping up. Although strength is a question, for things like picking up a rock. The rock can't win. It's a rock. Maybe only creatures can nat 20? Or, again, it's luck getting involved. I think for static challenges, dropping their nat 20 might be fine. You have +20 intelligence and are trying to remember something you have a chance of remembering? Cool, you remember it. No question. They should still be contests to allow for DM fudging, though. Anyway. So where does this leave us? Level is separate from personal modifiers. Personal modifiers can drive up crit rate, which drives up chances of winning. If no monster has stats like players, then it's easy to explain personal modifiers always winning - monsters never go higher than 20, they can't contest you without also hitting 20. If monsters have stats like players that complicates things a little bit. Players don't need to know about the critical system - just that a 20 or higher will always win for them. It can be ignored for enemies if you're in a player-centric game. This also means that having high stats means a guaranteed increase in consistency, although that's not new, I think. Well. I mean. If the idea with the level stuff was that their stats now served a new purpose if they went into higher-leveled territory, that's been shot. We've just made a way for their low rolls to not be so certainly doomed. If an enemy rolls a 24, it's level-based, and the player rolling even a 21 via mods would win because the enemy (assuming their modifier is +5 or more) didn't hit a 20. So now we've gone in the opposite direction of saying high rolls will ALWAYS succeed and we can't fudge them failing. Although, let's be fair - I don't think there's any time where I should be fudging failing to begin with, at least in my campaign. I'm trying to have things be accurate and if a player wants to do something and I let them and they roll well, they should get it. We've already done that. It was a good idea. I mean, if I'm prepared to accept the result on a 20, then I should be prepared to accept it on less. The only weird thing I guess is making level no longer matter. Whether you're up against a dragon or a kobold, if you've got +9 to stealth, you've got about 50% odds of succeeding in your stealthery. also again if monsters never have bonuses themselves then once you hit +19 there's no reason to go further but... oh well? I'll just compromise to keep things clean, the important thing is being able to make my current campaign move as quickly, smoothly and fun-ly as possible without letting players onto all of the shortcuts I'm taking behind the screen.

[brothermouzongaming]

Warmind thots

Better if only by a bit

I understand that Vicarious Visions made this expansion, a fact that is a little troubling if you ask me and my pessimistic tendencies. Even with that information, I almost forgot another developer had taken care of this expansion because it was very much along the lines of Bungie’s typical format. I still feel that these thoughts and feelings are relevant and still perfectly appropriate despite Bungie doing this a little differently this time around. The fact remains: nothing is going in the game that doesn’t have Bungie’s approval. Hell, as far as we know Vicarious merely did what Bungie would’ve done anyway, following a template that was explicitly written by Bungie. From what I understand they did design the Raid Lair but I doubt they were given such liberties with dlc given what we have is reported to have been lined up for a while. Regardless, the overall message of this is that the Warmind dlc is an improvement. The subtext is that such an accomplishment means fuck-all in the face of what can only be described as a huge flop for both Bungie and Activision. Despite what the financial reports may say.  Changes to exotics are great and give us something to grind that improves our favorite guns. Escalation Protocol is a challenge that takes coordination but is still a great idea at its core. Nodes are another means of grind that again give guardians a reason to come back. Curse of Osiris was a low bar to step over, but at least they did it and did it fairly well.

“Dress-tiny”

Good god how is it that the dlc adds blander armors. I think the focus on armor is all wrong and centered way too much around looks but since it’s here; the least they could do is stand out. Hunters get straight up screwed with some of the least impressive and lazy designs I’ve ever seen. Literally solid color sleeves and a slightly different glove design. Titans are clearly the character type that inspires the artists the most because from the looks to the functionality they have it the best hands down in my opinion. My preferred class, Warlock, sits somewhere in the middle. With armor pieces that work like a dream in the field, some that are beyond useless and those are just the exotics. The legendary pieces rarely vary in any significant way beyond a couple points this way or that way between the whopping three stats you have to manage. So looks are really all that is left, and there isn’t anything definitive about a lot of these “legendary” pieces of armor. The shader situation is an absolute trash fire, hopefully, the Warmind dlc was gonna add some interesting tweaks to the color scheme...imagine my surprise when the color pallets are few and far between as far as anything really distinguishable. I put on four shaders on some pants and they all looked exactly the same. That’s one of Destiny’s many problems, it’s only half in with all of its ideas.

“Remember whoo you areee”

Lion King reference aside, I can’t be any more serious. *snaps fingers repeatedly* Hello Bungie, wake up! You are squandering all the goodwill built up in your past successes. I understand this is far from the team that brought us Halo: CE but I would’ve thought they would be fighting in its memory. The ambition is there, I commend and respect that much. The effort and execution, however, has been wildly lackluster. I can forgive a large amount of D1′s problems, it’s an ambitious idea that was gonna have some kinks and issues in it. 

Company’s like Ubisoft and Capcom are giving away the occasional free update to games like The Divison and Monster Hunter World respectively. For Destiny 2 to become essentially the biggest flop of this generation and offer no respite or token of gratitude to the fanbase that stayed is miraculously idiotic. Oh what’s that? They gave us the broken Prometheus Lens? Aw, that’d be nice if it wasn’t the only gesture Bungie has made, and it released so broken it singlehandedly turned the Crucible into laser tag. Yes, that was fun, but it wasn’t even something Bungie did, it was an accident. That accident for a short period of time was the most exciting and engaging thing that has happened in D2 for a while now. The initial concept of Destiny is very promising, especially when you find out it’s in the hands of Bungie. I can’t help but feel that somewhere along the way they realized that the idea was better than the actual physical manifestation of it. Now that they’re in way too deep, all they can do is press on through the self-made muck and mire. Doing what they want to expand the franchise rather than improve it; coming from a developer I once revered it’s both infuriating and deeply saddening. Please Bungie, get it together for your sake, not ours. I’m not buying D3 and I have a funny feeling a decent amount of people won’t either, you aren’t an indie dev with no experience. Why are you acting like it?

Copy and paste

Warmind’s loot pool is vastly more interesting and enticing than that of Osiris. The sharp geometric shapes, as well as the sounds and skills associated with the guns, are very distinct and dare I say enjoyable. They don’t drop quite as often, Destiny has reverted back to its old ways in that sense and I’m not against it at all. If we get everything in the first week what’s the point of paying so much/ what’s keeping us here? My issue is the recurring problem of both reskins and returning exotics. Osiris was fairly wrought with reskins and even worse with poor and just unsavory perks, these guns rained from the sky I practically had to set up a direct deposit to my trash bin. Even better, these weapons seem to be tiered and earned with different kinds of currency. Now getting that new auto rifle or sub-machine gun feels good when it drops and not repetitive. The bringing back of D1 exotics is nice, there’s no reason in the world why some of these guns can’t and shouldn’t exist in this game. When two of the four guns are D1 guns, that’s when I get peeved. There needs to be more, I’m not talking truckloads but half the guns shouldn’t be D1 guns not for dlc we paid for. Honestly, how hard is it to design a new gun, what are you guys saving it for D3? Why not put out as much as you can to satisfy a fanbase that is struggling in the here and now? Seriously would it kill you guys to throw us a bone beyond fixing the issues we shouldn’t be dealing with at all? I know I can come off as entitled, but realize that this is a game with so much money behind it that I’m genuinely uncomfortable with the figure itself. This money could’ve gone to like... help people. Bungie got $500 million for the franchise as a whole, let’s say it broke up evenly which is about  $166,666,666. Where the fuck did that money go? Destiny 2 is essentially one massive asset flip and when players like me were told D2 would progress the series, it’s done almost nothing but regress. So maybe as a paying customer who has been deceived and lied to since day one of this game, maybe in this instance entitlement is a little understandable. 

Change ‘Gon Come

The exotic changes are good, this is a big step in the right direction. Destiny beat its dick to no end about being a power fantasy, then D2 came around and took away the power. These guns are starting to feel exponentially better, really living up to the “exotic” term. Escalation Protocol is brutal, I’m worried it is more difficult than any random group of guardians can handle. The most I’ve done a run with is four or five and I’m suspecting it may take somewhere up to seven. Hard isn’t bad but it’s crushing to the point where I can see players avoiding the event entirely to go complete something they actually have a chance of achieving. The title of this segment is two parts, change is coming to Destiny in the form of the development end. Changes to the game that are efforts in the right direction to give this game a sense of life and purpose. We’ll see what E3 holds, this “Comet” expansion is gonna be featured due to their “brand new game mode” or whatever, something that’s “never been done before int he genre of FPS”. I have no idea what that means but it sounds like th same high aiming that got us in this mess to begin with, we will see. The other half is the changes in the form of who plays Destiny/ how many people will be playing Destiny. I said it earlier and I’ll say it again. Four years is too long for a big name dev like Bungie to say “sorry guys, making games is hard”. You signed up for this, you had time to prepare. No one asked for Destiny, and though making games is no doubt very difficult; I don’t see how you can use that as an excuse in a case of sheer negligence and outright maliciousness by Bungie. Change ‘gon come, one way or another.