#god. tj....havent thought about her in a long time

[coffeecrusadeclub]

Too late? Pt 2/2

*fluff*

TJs POV:

"Im not Jealous"

"Well then whats youre problem TJ!"

"It doesn't matter anymore"

"Why not?"

"Because I was too late"

"For what?"

"To talk to you"

"What?"

"I wanted to talk to you last night and I was too late" my tone had softened quite a bit and I felt Cyrus staring at me. I went to take a drink and Cyrus took the bottle out of my hand.

"What the hell dude? Give that back"

"Youve had enough. What were you going to tell me last night"

"It doesnt matter because I already know what response I would've gotten"

"And how do you know what I would've said"

"Because of what you were doing. If I hadn't walked in you wouldve-"

I sighed and put my head in my hands.

"I would've come to my senses and stopped him before it went too far"

"I have a hard time believing that. You were both really into it" i rubbed my face as if I could erase the memories of last night from my head.

"TJ I wouldnt have done anything. I want my first time to be with someone a lot more special than some guy I knew for half an hour"

"Youre first time- youve never-"

"You sound shocked. As awkward as I am you really think Ive ever done that?"

I felt my face turn red and reached for my drink that Cyrus had placed on my side table

"Leave it"

"Youre not my mom"

"I never claimed to be. I claim to be your friend who cares about you and wants you to stop before it becomes a real problem"

He sat on the bed in front of me he felt so close I could feel his breath on my face.

"TJ what did you want to happen last night? What were you going to tell me?"

I felt my heart beating so fast it felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. "What did I want to happen last night?"

"Thats what I asked, yes"

I was more tipsy than I thought I was and without even the slightest hesitation, I had closed the gap between us and put my hand on his face, holding him gently. Apart of me expected him to pull away but instead, he put his hand on my wrist and kissed back. It was more intoxicating than any kind of liquor out there. I pulled away slowly, stopping myself before I went to far.

"TJ..." Cyrus sounded out of breath and i felt panic coursing through my veins did I really just do that

"Im sorry I acted on impulse I-" Cyrus cut me off, this time it was him closing the gap. I leaned backwards against the backboard of my bed neither of us breaking the kiss. Cyrus was ontop of me and i stopped remembering what he said about not having his first time yet.

"Whats wrong"

"We can't- you said your first time is meant to be special."

Cyrus got off of me and sighed

"Im sorry I got carried away"

"No -no dont be sorry. But I dont want to ruin that moment for you"

"TJ what were you going to tell me last night?"

I looked at him, trying to figure out what to say. It wasnt as easy as I thought it was going to be.

"That-That Im in love with you.. That Ive been in love with you for longer than I could remember"

Cyrus smiled at me, turning a light shade of pink. I was probably firetruck red at this point

"I love you too"

"Wh-what?"

"TJ you are so oblivious sometimes. Im in love with you but we both know I'd never have the guts to say it first. Ive spent years wishing you'd say it, believing that you never would"

I smiled at him "So Mr. Goodman..... I have a question for you"

"And that is?"

"Are you free Saturday night?"

"For you? Most definitely"

Cyrus smirked and leaned back in kissing me again.

"Id say this is a pretty special moment Kippen"

I laughed softly as I kissed him

"Not yet. We havent even gone on our first date yet" We both continued to kiss and suddenly my door swung open followed by the crash of Amber hitting the floor.

We looked over at Amber who was face down on the floor. She sat up bright red.

"You guys were yelling and then it got quiet. I wanted to know what was happening. I couldnt hear from downstairs when you were being quiet"

I laughed and threw a pillow at her

"Ya ruined the moment" I kept laughing as Amber continued to turn redder.

"Hey I have to get going. See you Saturday?"

"I'll pick you up at 7." I winked at him and he kissed me before heading out the door. I smiled at him as he walked out.

"The twinkle in youre eyes is back" Amber smiled and sat at the foot of my bed.

I laughed "you killed the momet!" I hit her playfully with a pillow.

"So? Tell me everything! What were you guys doing whyd it go completely silent for so long? Like there were three periods of silence-"

"Well the first silence happened when he asked me what I wanted to happen last night. I kissed him. Then i stopped and started panicking and then he started kissing me and we almost...." i trailed off

"OH MY GOD NO U DIDNT"

"No we didnt! Did it look like we had? I wanted his first time to be special"

"What a romantic." She mocked "What about the last one?"

"Thats the one you ruined" i laughed and she turned red again

"Oh yeah.."

"I need water for my hangover and food to prevent the worse one thats on its way."

"I'll go get ready. We'll go to Dennys. Fix yourself up"

I smiled at her grateful that she made me talk to Cyrus

"Hey Amber?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you"

"For what?"

"For making me talk to him"

"What are big sisters for?"

"Youre older by 10 minutes!!!!"

She laughed "Most boring 10 minutes of my life" she smiled and walked across the hall to her room. I was glad to have a sister that cared about me as much as she did

[survivorkomnata]

Episode #4:  "and that's what you missed on glee" - Ally

Woo tribe swap! we made the right call booting fed, and now Kato has majority on my new tribe! Ideally i think Alyssa would ve here instead of luke maybe but i dont mind, i think Im good with both him and TJ

I mean, honestly, what's even the point of living in a world where hallways are empty. LIKE, YOU SPEND DAYS CRAFTING A PLAN THAT YOU THINK IS GONNA WORK, BUT THEN BOOOOM, SWAP FUCK. NOW I'M ON A TRIBE WITH 2 PEOPLE I'VE NEVER MET, SOMEONE FROM MY OLD TRIBE I WAS PLANNING TO VOTE OUT NEXT, AND MISS CAN'T READ THE CHALLENGE RULES JESS WHO I'M NOT EVEN SURE IS LOYAL TO ME. SURE WOULD BE NICE TO GET THAT IMMUNITY IDOL!

BUT IT'S COOL. MY PLAN STILL KINDA WORKED! I'M REALLY CLOSE TO THE END, AND THIS IS A NEW TRIBE, MEANING NO ONE CAN POSSIBLY HAVE THE IDOL YET. HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA NOPEEE! WITHIN 3 FUCKING HOURS, SOMEONE FOUND THE IDOL, MEANING THERE'S SOMEONE ON THIS TRIBE WHO HAS ALREADY BEEN TO THE END OF THE HALLWAY ON THEIR ORIGINAL TRIBE AND MAY POSSIBLY HAVE 2 IDOLS. AND HOW MANY DO I HAVE? ZEROOOOOOOOOOOOOO. What the FUCK. FUCKING BALLS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. AND OF COURSE WE BLOW AT THIS CURRENT CHALLENGE I'M FUCKED IT'S ALL FUCKED THINGS WERE GOING SO WELLLL GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. So yeah that's how I'm feeling right about now.

With Federico gone I have to change my strategy, it’s a new game for me, I have two options rn, 1. Stixk with Jake and try to get one person from original Tagaki to flip or 2. Flip on Jake and work with them basically destroying my connections with the original Kato alliance. My position in the game rn is not one to envy tbh lmao so I NEED the immunity. Zach and I connected easily so I think I have the option to work with him there.

After an interesting tribal, it was tribe swap time. I was so nervous until I realized I had a og kato majority on  my new tribe. Me, Stephen, and TJ are sticking together which is perfect since I will still have a safety net at tribal if we happen to go, which is a possibility rn since Zach is killing it in the challenge. Hopefully things change as the challenge continues and hopefully I will stop making stupid mistakes in this challenge.

Tribe Swap!!!! So I ended up on New Kato with Zach, Karthik, Miguel, and um Jake. MY CROPS ARE WATERED, MY SKIN IS CLEAR, MY DEPRESSION IS GONE, MY CRUSH CALLED ME BACK. Everything is great bc of the swap results. If we lose then we have a pretty simple majority and vote out in Miguel or Jack although I am getting along with them so far.

The challenge is basically tasks but with puzzles. I REALLUY SUCK AT PUZZLES SO IM SORRY IN ADVANCE. Zach however is freaking killing the game right now. He is carrying our team on his back just like he did on the old tribe and this means 2 things.

1. Zach is someone that is valuable during the premerge portion of this game. Tribes are NOT going to vote him out because he is just too valuable.

2. Zach is someone that I would not like to permanently align with. If Zach makes the merge and keeps this challenge energy going he will win immunity multiple times and only those that are close to him will be able to be targeted.

3. (I KNOW I SAID TWO) He is someone that I SHOULD align with. He makes for a pretty easy meat shield in the event that I become vulnerable. If he does lose an immunity and becomes a target, he makes for an easy idol play. Just place one of those badboys on him and poof you basically get to choose who you want to go home.

I hope we win this challenge and the deamon that is TJ does not come through for his tribe. He's really fucking cute though like did you see that live tribal? ugh my heart gingers are so cute.

I forgot the fucking Australian is good at puzzles and is Australian.  Fucking time zone advantage!!! (Plus I suck at puzzles). Its fucking 2 am for me and Im gonna stay up and fight against the Aussie Its gonna be a LONG night.

I'm getting ready to turn Stephen into a "prawn" bc thats what they call shrimp for some reason

OK SO I FORGOT TO SAY THAT JESS AND ALYSSA ARE ON THE SAME TRIBE I HAVEVVVVVEVEVEVEVEV TO LAUGH IM SORRY. Cinematic Gold.

I can’t wait till after merge or swap or whenever so i can vote out Zach and send him a voting confessional he has to solve as a jigsaw puzzle

Alright, so I like my new tribe at the moment. Not only do we have a majority of old Kato members, but I know Ally from a previous game (which I didn’t know earlier). She seems really nice, but I know I need to stop making everyone to be the nicest person on the planet and remember that this is a game. I’m playing to win. I need to immediately figure out if Stephen and Luke are going to vote with me (specifically Luke after last vote) or if I need to start charming Liam so that I’m in with Liam and Ally.

So uh. Fuck Me i guess. My tribe is 100% going to tribal. It could be worse. I could be stuck with Luke and Miguel after the Fed blindside. But still I guess? At least I have Jess. I adore her. I’m just really nervous for this tribal??? I just almost went home so??? How much can I really grind like this is crazy. I feel like I might be able to solidify a majority with me, Jess, and Isaac but then do we vote out Stephen or Daniel? Actually no I already know who we’ll vote out. Jess says she doesn’t like Daniel so if the feeling is mutual she’ll come after her and I’ll be like um hey who was more active in the challenge chat? Daniel or Jess? Yeah, it was Jess. No way.

ANYWAY YEAH. Getting ready for the impending tribal because our tribe literally has -1 points smh

I AM SO IRRITATED UGHHHHH. Ally and I are currently swapfuck victims, and the Takagi idol is GONE. Would've been nice for someone to leave it for us....oh well guess I'm getting 15th/14th bye friends

My tribe was creamed by Kato 2.0 ironically. Once again I’m at tribal council while within a majority alliance. Og Katos have decided to stick together which I’m glad for, it makes the most sense and it keeps me safe and most likely moving forward to f13 and one step closer to merge/jury. I’m getting very close to the farthest point I’ve ever made it in a Survivor ORG, f13, and I want so badly to make it farther and beat my record. I’m taking it step by step and day by day in order to reach this goal and every step of the way I’m showing more of a new side of myself, one that I hope will get me far in the game.

So this tribe is basically under mine and lukes control rn. We are just about to go into an alliance chat with Ally, we already have an alliance, our real alliance, with TJ, the only threat is an idol, but with these connections we should know whats going on. Simple

Tribal discussions have started, and i find myself having control over my tribe along with Stephen. We have alliances with TJ and Ally and I’m feeling great especially since I’m the first tribal I was in I was at the bottom of my tribe and now I have risen to the top, I’m excited to see what happens next as the game continues.

So umm.... Zach found the idol at Takagi so thats amazing. Interesting swap and it doesnt seem to be a bad draw for me since I am in a Takagi majority with zach and Tim both of whom I trust. Its all nice to have some new ppl in Jake and Miguel both seem to be good to talk to. But in terms of the game, it still requires some time to figure out if we would actually be to work together meaningfully due to tribal lines and all. Looks like there is a divide in the original Kato tribe which was apparent from the vote which is good for us. Zach proved to be the hero once again and won the immunity for the tribe all by himself.

So things do seem pretty neat and smooth on my side so far. Its going to be F13 now and I havent still been to tribal council even once which has given me safety but its just getting a bit boring now. It just seems like its the time and opportunity given to me to get my troops ready and be prepared for the war thats  about to begin.

So TJ has decided to flip on our alliance and vote Luke out, sigh. It’s annoying how as soon as you think you’re on top someone tries to kick you back down. I still think voting out Liam is the best move though, I can bring TJ back with some choice words. Besides, i heard all this from Ally, who may be laying to save Liam by getting us to vote TJ, though its unlikely based on how she said it.

So when I first saw my new tribe, I was pretty content. I'm glad I wasn't stuck on a tribe with TJ....and from first glance I thought our tribe was pretty strong. Well we totally sucked at the challenge. Now I'm hoping we just vote out RatBoy because he literally doesn't do shit, but people are worried about his potential advantages. I also just vote Jess out of another game, and she made some petty comments I wouldn't be surprised if I go home this tribal just because of that : ) Anyway, I'm gonna try to ensure the others the safest option is RatBoy if we want our team to have any shot of winning a challenge next round.

ONCE AGAIN! It is quiet as shit around camp and I am REALLY fucking anxious. I'm making an official alliance with Jess and Isaac which should keep them both loyal. I really believe Jess wouldn't do that to me. We're sharing idol clues and shit so she has my back at least for now. I don't know how it's going for Isaac in building relationships but supposedly his social game sucks so fingers crossed. The three of us will make majority leading into this vote and we will most likely vote Daniel. Fingers crossed this works out because if my head is on the chopping block again..... I don't know. Obviously I was a top contender to go out on my last tribe so it's like... Would it really be that costly to vote me out here on the half of my tribe? Probably not. But also Jess and I worked our asses off in this challenge even though our puzzle ability is questionable. So I guess we'll see what happens. Hopefully I don't get so hopeless that I make another "Going home" confessional.

Holy shit. This swap has be shooketh to the CORE. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. It was expected but I still did not prepare for it...

I have Stephen who is literally the biggest wild card for me in this game from my old tribe. I hope I can somehow work with him and build a layer of trust with him so his crazy ass doesn't come after me.

Then there's Daniel. I honestly have some MAJOR TRUST ISSUES with him right now. We are in another game together and I refuse to let that leak into this game but it's totally in the back of my mind. I just don't ever see the two of us working deep into this game but the only reason I have to keep him around is to appeal to Stephen right now. If I take him out in this vote.. I'm going to lose Stephen's trust 1000%. The plan is to keep him around ONE MORE ROUND and then take my shot.

UGH Alyssa. I hate that even in a god damn random draw... I got put with her. BECAUSEEEEE..... this is where my heart tells me one thing and my head tells me another. Our past game has left such a bad taste in my mouth (she beat me at Final 2) and I don't want a repeat of that. HOWEVER, it's way tooo early to take her out even though this TECHNICALLY would be the perfect opportunity to do so. All I have to say to Stephen/Daniel let's do Alyssa and Alyssa would go this round.

Reasons for not voting out Alyssa right now: 1. Strong competitor in comps (so we don't keep losing). Losing = Tribal. Tribal=BAD. 2. She's someone who I KNOW on this tribe. There's a bit of trust there. 3. She's Alyssa.

Then there's Isaac aka: Ratboy. Aka: Ghost. Aka: WHY ARE YOU HERE?! jk. I just can't get a read on him. His strategy seems to be to run into a bomb shelter and hope he doesn't get voted out. He might have an advantage from the basement and to me that's super scary at this point. I want us all on an even playing field and with him possibly having an advantage.. that's SUPER dangerous on a 4 person tribe after this round.

I somehow got put in the middle of two alliances for this vote. On one side there's the original Takagi tribe alliance consisting of: Stephen, Daniel, and myself. Then there's The Tree Amigos consisting of: Isaac, Alyssa, and myself. I think the only way to get out of this vote somehow decently is to vote off Ratboy and say that it was either him or Alyssa and I swayed off of Alyssa to keep her safe. I'm going to have to tell her this about an hour before the vote to calm her tits and to not totally blindside her. If I blindside her she's just going to be more insecure than she apparently is in our relationship here. She's already asked me if I lied about my idol search... so there's that.

HOPEFULLY this goes well for me. This tribe swap wasn't the ideal outcome for me (I was kind of hoping to get swapped with Tim) but I THINK I can make out of this alive somewhat okay?!

omg i love getting swapfucked... such an aesthetic the tribe layout im on rn is 3 from kato (tj luke stephen) and 2 from takagi (me n liam) i feel like i've done a p good job @ bein social with the other tribe,, and stephen suggested an alliance btwn him luke and i so we have that now (called 'international') i rlly wanna try to save liam tho and i think tj might've given me the chance to do thathe messaged me last night and was basically like "i want to flip to takagi and vote out luke" and i was like ok sis! and immediately ratted him out to stephen (and im gonna rat him out to luke too) and i'm hoping that'll be enough to vote tj out. a lil part of me was like "what if this is a SETUP?" and he was gonna immediately run to stephen/luke and tell them im not trustworthy but idk it doesn't seem realistic. but im hoping that we can vote out tj now cuz i want him here the least out of everyone on the tribe hehe. im PISSED about the challenge. zach having a majority on his tribe and still going out of his way to carry his whole ass tribe on his back and drag them to a win and leave me and liam to DIE? NOTED, ZACHARY. if i survive this fkn swap im COMING for you!!!!!!!!!!! JUST WAIT!!!!!!!!!! also some bitch on og takagi got the idol before me so fuck everyone on that tribe.... and that's what you missed on glee

I am in so much freaking fear right now. I know this feeling all too well about tribals with five people. I've been in a 3-2 majority before and been idoled out in exactly the same fashion as I could see happening today. So, right now, I'm playing TJ the Villainous Ginger and trying to plant seeds here and there to hopefully avoid being the person voted out tonight. I'm trying to guarantee the minority votes Luke and the majority sticks together, and then I'm trying to build my relationship with Luke by talking to him about all of the potential situations with this vote and how we could maybe prevent an idol screwing us up. We need original Kato and original Takagi to go back to around the same number of people so that the options at merge become a little more... fun :)

So we won the challenge!!!! I could not be more relieved that we pulled it off and are safe. Zach really is the MVP this time. With the Kato Tribe immune, all 5 of us stay for next round which is great because the individuals on my tribe are all people that I would'nt mind working with. Miguel and Jake especially because they are my window to working with people I have yet to work with when a merge comes. For now I am going to lay low until mid merge (really late early merge) and then strike.

ok so as i predicted, a swap occurred. here are my thoughts: - i'm in a majority (with karthik & tim) - i talk to jake & miguel a lot. i like them both a lot, they're rlly funny. - if i had to send one home (given we go to tribal), i think i lean to jake. he's closer to alyssa/stephen and unless miguel is rlly playing me (which, props to him), he's (jake) more likely to do damage down the road and be against me and all that jazz. but i love them both as people and theyre both enjoyable beings. and for some tea that i gathered (which may very well be wrong/distorted): miguel/luke/stephen/federico/jake had an alliance. stephen & jake flipped. miguel doesn't know jake flipped but he did. this could be baiting me but afaik they're not on the greatest terms (or, well, aren't that close i guess). this shows that alyssa has great sway (not shocking!) and that she's gonna be someone i want out sooner rather than later, and that's kinda why i'd vote jake out over miguel, just to weaken her. alternatively, i could take the route of using her as a shield but ppl are sexist n will just assume im a bigger threat bc im a MAN ... when women > men in gameplay for the most part but ANYWAY! i said it.

also, with the idol system being identical, someone (only options being ratboi & alyssa, which the former will likely leave tonight) may have two which is very scary.

right now i feel comfy. i know in merge i'm finna get fucked up with.... being such a physical (and social) threat early on but bitch i'mma fuckin try my best. i regret telling karthik about my idol. i've contemplated voting him out because then no one will know but i love him too much and he's by far who i'm closest with, i think.

i anticipate the two people leaving will be ratboi (isaac) and liam. the former i'm fine with, but the latter imma be really sad with. liam is great and i love him so much and i feel like he's someone that would be more loyal to me than the average person in this game. but, however the cards fall, so be it.

Stephen just said he's sorry that he left me out of the first vote... this is awesome that he doesn't know that me and Alyssa are the reason that first vote was Shea. I really like Stephen, so this is awesome that he thinks that, it makes it a lot easier for us to work together in the future. Now I really need to make sure I survive this tribal so that I can keep this up. Please Luke, don't flip on me... Also, why did Jess and Alyssa have to be swapped onto the same tribe. I don't want to lose Alyssa to her for a second straight game, lol.

So, scenarios: Me and TJ vote for Ally, Ally and Luke vote for Liam, Liam votes for Luke. We tie, and either Ally or Liam go, but now I have broken Ally’s trust; Me Ally and Luke vote for TJ, Tj and Liam vote for Luke. TJ goes home, which is fine cause he betrayed us, but that may cause problems with other Katos and now Kato doesn’t have majority on our tribe; Me and Luke vote for Liam, TJ votes for Ally, Ally votes for TJ, Liam votes for Luke. A mess, Liam goes home, TJ and Ally both feel betrayed.....this is too much i’m going nuts. At the end of the day i dont want to lose TJ or Lukes trust over Allys trust, so I think voting Ally is the best move??????? God I hate this, remember when Luke convinced me we were on top? That was nice, lets go back to that.

So i realised that by getting tj on board to vote luke, then spilling to me and luke and getting us to vote Tj, ally and liam would have their pick. however, we are communicating pretty well so i think that cancels out her manipulation. However Luke is offline so rip. So now it comes down to if Luke is voting Ally, Liam, or TJ, and is Ally and Liam are voting TJ or Luke. I trust that TJ is voting Ally. Hmmmmm.... If i vote ally and fail I have made a powerful enemy, however if I dont vote Ally and make a mistake I’ve lost TJs trust. I don’t think I have a choice, I could throw my vote away and vote for Liam.... no thats stupid. Its either Tj, and throw my lot in with Ally, or stick with Kato and vote Ally out. Choices, choices.

I’m playing my idol because these people are on crack and I don’t believe a word that’s coming out of any of their mouths.

Daniel is voted out in a 3-1-1 vote, tie ending in a 3-0.

TJ is voted out in a 4-1 vote.