#goddammit andrik

[whumpkitty]

Whumpay Day 3: Holding Back Tears

Him sad ;-; Tried writing something for them in my more descriptive style, usually saved for my philosophical rambles haha but. I guess that’s more or less what Dani is doing here so.

ALSO I DID NOT PROOF READ THIS I COULD NOT FOCUS BRAIN LONG ENOUGH SORRY.

TWs: Toxic relationship, brief mentions of the following; things in skin, drugs, death (sort of, it’s more metaphorical), implication of needles

Timeframe: A while after Danika has been Andrik’s Jewel

Danika watched as the golden threads so long a part of him glinted coldly in the moonlight. His eyes followed the icy glimmer tiredly as he slowly rotated his arm back and forth, watching the light catch on the gemstones and cast a momentary star into the air. Watching as it blinked out of existence, died so easily as he tilted his arm just a fraction of a centimeter to the side.

They all died so very easily.

Almost like they were never there to begin with. If he hadn’t seen the little spark with his own eyes, no one would have ever known it existed. Almost like his love.

He glanced at Andrik, sound asleep next to him. Danika should be sleeping too, it was well into the quiet hours of the morning, but he’d been finding it difficult ever since… well. Ever since. He’d worried Andrik several times with how sickly he had become and how often the mafia lord walked in on him wavering only to pass out a few seconds later. Exhaustion was taking a toll on him, but it was still better than giving in to more of Andrik’s drugs or the nightmares.

Although he could barely call them nightmares, they were more. Memories. Twisted and distorted till he could barely recognize them. And yet Danika was certain they had happened. They had to have. He couldn’t imagine how he could have loved Andrik without at least some of the memories being real, couldn’t imagine how he could still love him, somewhere inside himself that was protected from the ice that grew colder every day.

Danika continued playing with the gold, though it looked less like gold and more like silver in the dark. Silver. Hope, love, and kindness. False in both its glitter and promises.

~

Danika dropped an enormous book down on the table with a thud.

“That’s so big though! Did you really read all that?” Andrik’s skeptical tone earned him a stuck out tongue.

“I told you I didn’t read it all, I haven’t had time. I was just looking through it, and found some cool stuff! It’s all about magic and symbols and things like that. I thought you liked that?”

Andrik nodded, looking somewhat more interested at the mention of magic but still giving the admittedly very large tome an appraising look. Danika sighed and opened it to somewhere in the middle, flipping through till he reached a page covered with illustrations of precious gems and metals. Andrik perked up, leaning over the book himself, eyes running over the shining ink.

“You want to be a jeweler like your grandpa, right? So I figured you’d be interested in this! It’s all meanings and magical importance of jewels and stuff like that.”

Andrik turned the book towards himself, skimming the page. Danika pointed to a section edged in silver whorls, grinning as he spoke.

“This one is my favourite, it’s about silver,” he turned his head a bit, reading the passage out loud albeit slowly as he tried to decipher the upside down words. “Silver is a precious metal and, like gold, often symbolizes riches and wealth. It is believed to be a mirror to the soul, helping us to see ourselves as others see us. It represents and magnifies hope, mystic visions, kindness, sensitivities, psychic abilities, tenderness, meditation, and unconditional love,” he looked up at Andrik. “Isn’t that pretty?”

The other boy nodded and looked up as well, smiling widely at Danika.

“Yeah, it’s really pretty.”

~

Danika closed his eyes, leaning back against the headboard.

It goes so quickly, doesn’t it? Just like the little stars, here one moment and gone the next, no trace whatsoever. The warm summer days evaporating like so much nothing and the soft kisses blowing away on the wind, replaced with this mockery of a romance. Dreams of the future morphing into horrors that he had to find a way to live through.

Unconditional love and hope. His false silver didn’t do what it was supposed to, but did he really expect it to? It was fake, after all, like everything else, only what he wanted it to be when it was least useful. It would turn back to gold soon enough and with it would come all the wealth and grandeur and broken smiles.

More silver glinted in the moonlight, tracking down his cheek, cold and real.

[whumpkitty]

Promise Rings

Mafia Boyfriends go Brr.

TWs: N/A

Timeframe: First part is mid teens, 16-18, before the city, Second part is mid to late 20s, during the Mafia Civil War  

“They’re perfect!”

Andrik grinned, a happy blush tinting his cheeks as he pulled his boyfriend in for a quick kiss.

“Nothing less for you, sunshine.”

Danika laughed, muttering something that sounded like ‘you big sap’ and kissing him back before he pushed himself gently away from Andrik and looked back at the rings he was holding.

They were a pair of simple silver bands, identical in every way and unassuming at first glance. However, each one had a delicate engraving on the inside - curlicue letters spelling out their names, “Dani” in one and “Andi” in the other, thin lines radiating out from them in a starburst.

Andrik took a ring out of Danika’s palm, the one with his name, turning it over slowly and smiling. Danika lifted the other, a finger lightly tracing the name on the inside - the little secret that made it clear just how much love they were made with.

“They really are perfect Andi, I can’t believe your grandfather let you make them yourself, I’d have thought he’d go on about ‘an amateur not touching his hallowed forges’ again, or whatever the old bat says,” Danika snickered.

“Yes, well, after a lot of convincing and very careful supervision, he agreed it was a special occasion,” he smirked. “You know how persuasive I can be.”

Danika pulled a face at him.

“Oh yes, so so very persuasive. You annoying idiot, I’m still not forgiving you for last week,” he stuck out his tongue, but the words were said without any heat and he started laughing immediately.

Andrik answered with a laugh of his own, taking Danika’s hand and pressing a kiss to it.

“I already said I was sorry, sweetheart, what more will it take, hm?”

“Maybe your solemn promise, but honestly I’m not sure I can trust that coming from you,” Danika’s voice had a teasing lilt to it.

“Oh darling, you know I never break a promise. And these,” Andrik lifted Danika’s hand to slide the ring onto his finger. “Were made with a promise,” he smiled softly, folding his boyfriend’s hands in his. “And I’ll keep it as long as my sun shines next to me every morning.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Andrik stared blankly at the envelope in his hands. There was no return address listed on it, or any name. It was a smooth square of white, save for the word scribbled in familiar handwriting in the center of it:

‘Sunshine’

Suddenly, he snapped out of whatever daze he was in and he tore the envelope open, almost frantically, shaking out whatever was in it. A singular piece of paper slipped out, along with something that bounced off the ground with a metallic ting. He ignored it in favour of snapping the paper open, the same handwriting decorating the page.

‘I’m sorry. I know it was a promise. But I don’t think I can keep it anymore, not when you broke it years ago.’

Andrik’s hands were shaking. He dropped to the ground, accidentally crumpling the paper and fumbling around for whatever had fallen out of the envelope. Something twinkled out of the corner of his eye and he snatched up the small object.

It was a ring, small and silver, familiar and yet foreign.

He choked out a gasp, trembling fingers running over the metal, trying to find the name he had carved into it himself and finding only soot and uneven ridges. Someone had clawed it out, rough slashes marring the smooth surface, then burnt whatever was left, to truly and entirely erase any evidence of the ring having meant anything more than a piece of cheap jewelry.

Andrik slowly pulled off his own ring, holding the two together, one glittering perfectly like the promise it still held, the other tarnished with broken hearts and bitter words.

He drew the last memory of his lover close to his chest and screamed his sorrows to no one.