#gonna force everyone to watch princess diaries lol

[flaming-toads]

It's my b-day today, so warning for y'all I'm bout to be very annoying today 😌

[frizzyanya]

The Untamed Episode 25, My Commentary!

Spoilers below!

WWX and JYL hanging out with the kids and then secretly that demon JZX is meeting with JC.

I knooooooo wwe aren’t supposed to hate him, just the circumstances. But I just do. I refuse to forgive him for being mean to her.

Lol seems like WWX likes him exactly as much as I do.

That interaction between JZX and WWX was sooooo uncomfortable. WWX refused to acknowledge the question about where the 5th segment of the YI was, which means obviously he has it. And then JZX is also demanding he give up the STA too. Fat chance, bro!

I mean he can’t do good guy magic anymore, no way he gives up the only magic available to him, even if it is demonic and likely to destroy all of society!

Ohhhhh flags for every clan! So we’re already at the party!

WWX standing next to LWJ and they aren’t even hyper aware of each other or talking not-quietly-enough like usual!

I hate MY, that smug bastard. (What a reversal, I know.)

JESUS CHRISTMAS, THEY HAVE TO TARGET INNOCENT WEN CLAN CIVILIANS?!?!?!!?!? Okay not quite…...they have to try to miss them but shoot around them WTAF

WWX’s hand loosened on his demon flute. So, like, that’s good I guess. No all out war…….Yet.

This is so unnecessary and cruel.

“Who else dares to try?!” (after JZX’s bulls eye) I can almost hear WWX in Lindsay Lohan’s voice saying “I’ll take a whack at it….” (from the Parent Trap)

Then he turns to LWJ……….and asks him………..to borrow his headband. WWX, what are you thinking right now…? What tricks do you have up your sleeve…?

HE’S BLINDFOLDING HIMSELF

BEFORE SHOOTING A BOW AND ARROW

THROUGH A LINE OF INNOCENTS

AND SHOOTING FIVE ARROWS AT ONCE, ONE TO EACH BULLSEYE

LMAAAOOOOOOO

THIS BITCH BE LIKE

FUCK ALL OF YYOOOOUUUUUU

GOLDEN CORE OR NOT IM STILL BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU PUT TOGETHER

I want LWJ to be like “........boring.”

Everybody applauding, he’s gonna create trouble once again by showing off.

...but what did he want the headband for?

Everybody’s working really hard at hunting whatever, and then WWX just casually playing flute.

LMAO

“They all just plunged into our nets themselves!” 

TO HELP JC WIN

THIS SHOW IS PURE COMEDY

Okay now I’m at the “what do you take me for” scene and this HURTS

“You used to be my confidante.” “I still am.” Dramatic prolonged eye contact.

Aaaaaaand now we’re watching JZX and JYL walking together on the path. WWX’s eyeroll looked EXACTLY like mine.

“Do you not like watching the hunt…….or do you not like being with me?!” And then he turns away dramatically with “I’m never speaking to you again!” flair.

Poor JYL.

Aaaaaaand WWX being, well, himself, and he just flies out onto the path just as JZX was surely about to get things cleared up.

LWJ coming to his rescue, ohhhh I do like that.

“Who are you?” “How dare you not know who I am!” “But who ARE you?” LMAO, SAME, WWX, SAME.

“JYL, what’s wrong? Did my intractable son bully you again?!” Ohhhhhh yes, JZX’s mother is good.

IS SHE THE FIRST GOOD ALIVE MOTHER IN THIS SHOW!?!??

WWX is handling this……..better than I would have expected? (That’s a pretty low bar, of course.) Like he at least articulated why JZX was being the worst in that interaction.

“WWX has already collected 30% of everything!” LWJ, who has been with him this whole time and knows he’s done absolutely nothing legally allowed: “Say what?!”

JZX’s cousin: “That’s not capability, that’s just playing a flute! It’s too easy!” WWX: “Go ahead, play my flute.”

LOLOLOLOL

“I don’t know what’s called capability, please show me yours. Astonish me, please.”

This is like weirdly homoerotic and I do not like it (a la “my horse is bigger than your horse” (because yes, the princess diaries 2 is the only way I know how to reference that…))

I mean I probably half think that because while JZX’s cousin looks angry and ready for a fight, WWX just looks like he’s taunting/mocking/flirting in his way.

Okay now we’ve crossed a line…….he’s now like vibrating from anger. 

LWJ, DO SOMETHING.

IF YOU DON’T HE’S GOING TO FLIP OUT COMPLETELY.

I’M WORRIED FOR…….LIKE EVERYONE……..

The guy is goading him!! “You’re nothing more than the son of a servant.” SHUT UP, OR YOU MIGHT END UP AN ACTUAL HONEST TO GOD CASUALTY.

FUCKING FINALLY

LWJ TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH

THIS MAN IS LITERALLY VIBRATING

HE NEEDS HELP

LWJ: “Wei Ying, concentrate!”

JYL: “Wuxian! Wuxian!”

Lord help me, I hope this is enough.

But I mean, is there technically any rule that says “no demon flute magic to help you win?” Because I feel like this is so specific that it might not actually be against the official rules, right? lol

JYL apologizing to the Jins for WWX. YIKES. 

While LWJ holds him back. DOUBLE YIKES.

JZX’s cousin needs to STFU BEFORE HE GETS  HIMSELF KILLED

Hahaha! JYL said that what he did wasn’t against the rules.

“There are so few prey! It’s already a hard competition!” “It’s not his fault you’re bad hunters.” ZIIINNNGGG

JYL IS ON FIYA

NOW SHE’S ASKING JZX’s guy to APOLOGIZE TO WWX. THIS IS BRILLIANT.

I LOVE HER SO MUCH

ALL HAIL QUEEN YANLI

MADAM JIN SAID TO MAKE THE APOLOGY THIS IS TOO DAMN MUCH

ALL HAIL STRONG WOMEN 

Madam Jin being mean to MY. Okay. No good moms here. She’s just good to JYL. But like….I respect that.

JYL is like a tiger momma protecting her cub WWX. You do not disrespect him on her watch!

“Nothing about you is a problem for me. If my son has made you upset, I can give him a beating for you.” YES MADAM JIN IS MY NEW FAVE.

Okay she has JYL’s best interests at heart here, but she’s a bit mistaken on the nature of JYL/WWX’s relationship. 

However now that I think of it………...if I’d only seen what she’d seen, particularly this episode……..I’d likely be inclined to agree that it looked like they were framed as love interests. 

I mean….JYL loves WWX a lot. It’s just not in that way. And if you don’t understand her well enough to know the difference……..I can see the misunderstanding happening easily. 

“WWX is my younger brother. I’ll never leave him.” BRB SOBBING.

“Lady Jiang! It’s not what you think! I wasn’t forced by my mother, it was me, I wanted to invite you!” Awww he’s just bad at talking to girls but he does like her! SYKE NO. You can’t be rude/mildly abusive and then pretend it was you being cute/coy. You made her cry! Grow up and then come back and court her.

(I know they’re going to be on better terms now, I’m just bitter af.)

Aaaaaaand everybody is watching.

SO HE LITERALLY RUNS AWAY

He’s THAT shy and awkward!

JYL like “I’ll go with Madam Jin and JZX. WWX like BRING ON THE ABANDONMENT ISSUES.

JC like “come to the banquet with me later!” WWX like “nah imma go for a walk, goodbye LWJ and literally nobody else.”

JC like WWX wtf did you do.

Ohhhhhh I’M SO DUMB. 

OH MY LORD.

WWX doesn’t have the STA AND the YI. The STA IS the YI!

LADY WEN@@@@@ OMFGGGG!!!!!!!!!

That’s how I typed that in my excitement and I refuse to change it! Lol

They CAN’T miss each other! PLEASE stop each other and interact!

OMG! Someone pushed her to the ground rudely and he saw 

WWX WHAT ARE YOU DOING. GO TO HER.

Lady Wen is the only one on this show prettier than WWX.

The ONLY one.

LXC/LWJ: “What are you thinking?” “I want to bring a man to Cloud Recesses.” “A man…?” WHO DO YOU THINK, LXC?? 

[i-found-you-justine-time]

So I know for actual fact that “The Christmas Prince” is gonna be a fucking piece of shit white heterosexual trope fest. But the part of my brain that craves junk food really wants to watch it.

So we start the movie with a song that is TOTALLY NOT ROCKING AROUND THE chRISTMAS TREE even though it has the same melody. I’d like to pretend that the writers are trying to tip us off here, saying “yeah, this movie is like an overplayed song that we just put new lyrics to”

And right away we get our protag’s motivation. This girl is SO good at her job but SO underappreciated!

WHEN WILL I GET TO BE A REAL JOURNALIST?!

And because the backstory is so trite we can immediately dive into the “plot”

“Aldovia?” It’s either the made up kingdom from The Princess Diaries or the made up kingdom from The Princess and the Frog.

Wow, she has both a black best friend AND a gay best friend. Netflix has gone all out.

stay true to your dreams (as long as you’re a pretty white girl)

Oh man, what a jerk! Taking her cab like that.Definitely not the prince in disguise. Definitely not the hilarious first meeting of our couple!

“you must be the new american tutor!” He says staring down at her while her press badge is clearly visible 

“You!” he says accusingly. As if he wasn’t the one who stole the cab. lol. Who would have guessed that dick was actually Prince Dick?!?!?!!!

Oh, I’m sorry, he’s upset about her saying “Selfish jerk”. His poor princely ego.

Oh man, here comes the little sister. Also known as our story’s matchmaker according to the trailer.

OH MAN our main character is clumsy! So important that we see she has flaws! 

WOw we went from spoiled brat to tragic backstory in under 30 seconds.

*awkward banter awkward banter* wow, I wonder how you never nailed a real journalist job

“how do I do it” classic teaching someone how to ______ romantic scene. so natural. not forced at all

lol #clumsy protag strikes again

 netflix giving our minority characters three more seconds of screentime

Okay, the most unbelievable thing that’s happened so far is that this girl with a chip on her shoulder who has supposedly been disrespectful and/or tormenting to previous tutors somehow takes a shine to this cardboard cutout for no reason whatsoever.

Literally. Her purpose for existing is just to push the protag into the prince’s arms.

“Why are you so nice to me?” oh THIS should be good.

“Because you’re different than everyone else here.”

*vomit*

“Did the queen invite one of the chamber maids” I”M TRYING TO MAKE IT OBVIOUS THAT I”M AN ASSHOLE AS A FOIL CHARACTER TO THE PRINCE!!

“male bloodline” I mean that explains why the queen doesn’t just run things besides the fact that she could have been a consort. But I’m so glad our made up country is run by the patriarchy. Nice.

OH MAN! IS IT LOVE TRIANGLE TIME>!>!?!?!?!

Wow. Blackmailed by the sister.

How convenient that this fake misogynistic country has the same Christmas traditions as the US.

Awwww, he has a heart of gold. You know this because instead of doing responsible adult things he’s playing with kids instead. 

It’s not a romance unless someone accidentally falls on someone else. Those are the rules.

this is the second time “smitten” has been used in this movie and apparently it means “you’ve been in contact with a person of the opposite sex and must therefore be in love”

SO MANY TROPES

Lost in the woods! Beset upon by wolves! Damsel is saved by Deus ex Princia! And to round it out we’re STUCK BY OURSELVES IN A CABIN FOR THE NIGHT!!!!

The prince’s motives for not wanting to be king are so weak he can’t even properly say why.

LISTEN TO YOUR MINORITY SIDEKICKS! 

“That peasant” I need a reason for everyone to hate me!

He’s a rebel because he doesn’t like the word “peasant”. What a Good Guy!

“You need me!” She claims having given no evidence as to why she would be able to run the country for him/ help him with the face side

“You gotta listen to your heart!”  

“Women,throwing themselves at your feet” “Men too, sometimes.” Cause this movie is PROGRESSIVE!

I”LL DO AS YOU WISH. I”LL TAKE THE CROWN! BUT I”LL NEvER MATCH UP TO YOU! :’( So much manpain!

Well shit. I thought we might not get our makeover scene! I was worried!

Naturally orchestrated by the little matchmaker

Everyone turn to look at the peasant girl as she makes her cinderella entrance!

I just realized Ms. Love Triangle is wearing red. Quality costuming!

“You’re more genuine than anyone I ever met” *vomit*

OH MAN HERE WE GO! IT”S THE REVEAL/MISUNDERSTANDING MOMENT!

So wait. How is she not arrested? Is she at least being deported?

SO MUCH MAN PAIN

“Why did you keep it a secret?” Um duh. The throne? I know you’re just a cardboard cut out but it’s pretty obvious.

Simon is #notmyking 

Lol the king made a secret law.Because that’s how laws work. And since that’s how laws work he decided to change it to allow adopted sons to take the throne rather than naturally born daughters, cause this move isn’t THAT progressive

One last cameo from our minority best friends who seem to be permanently chained to these desks for eternity.

Well fuck damn.They let the minorities out on good behavior. 

So I knew you for a week, and the whole time you were pretending to be someone else, but I think that’s grounds for asking you to marry me.

“But my whole life is in new york!” You’ve pretty much established that your prospects are grim in NY. You’re only attachment is your dad’s shop and you quit your job to start blogging.

I mean really though. Can we at least go on a date first?

One of the extras loudly proclaiming “We made it!” Yes, random extra. We DID make it through the movie. Go us!