#goobabble

[gooboogy]

The problem is they both make sense.

John lacks any agency, and as his abilities start "failing" he loses more of what little he has. The only things he can do is perceive the world through Arthur's eyes and talk to him in his head. That's it. He has no material effect on the world around them. He is solely 100% reliant on Arthur for his continued existence and influence on the world. He can't ignore Arthur whatsoever (unlike Arthur who can ignore John easy peasy) he can't Do anything but talk and observe (and also experience the deaths of people Arthur touches but ultimately that does nothing). Of course he is going to be distrustful of other people and possessive over Arthur.

Arthur feels like suddenly he can't rely on this very reliable thing that has been keeping him alive this whole time. It would shake anyone up. Especially with the shit they have to deal with? If he can't rely on directions he will be sliced to ribbons or shot without a chance of fighting back. They may as well be dead already. And for all of John's lack of agency, it's Arthur who has to actually deal with the consequences. He's the one who's getting wounded and torn to bits and has to fight all that. Plus it's HIS body. If someone's existence relies on your body, you have the right to refuse, bodily autonomy is a human right.

The problem is they've gone through this cycle before (cycle of learning and forgetting and learning that they are One Unit and need to work Together vs The Problems and forgetting) but never has it shaken Arthur so much. Even when they've argued before he would still listen to John's directions. But now? Everything is in question (as is probably the intent behind John's "failing" abilities.) They DO need other people to help and they DO need to be careful and include John. They cannot truly trust someone else while keeping John a secret or without his input. Arthur has the most control over the situation and the onus is on him to make the compromises. Yeah it's his body but 1) countless times he promised to John that they were in this together and 2) at this point separating them would be so traumatic that they may as well be One.

All of this is to say, curious that Arthur is so willing to tell Oscar about literally everything EXCEPT John. What happens if he does? What if there's someone else to assert for John in a way Arthur can't ignore so easily? Would that legitimize the shared ownership of Arthur's body? What does it mean for John to gain agency by the loss of Arthur's autonomy?

[gooboogy]

her name is Misa

[gooboogy]

Sometimes I will be sad and then I realize-- oh yeah! I haven't listened to Music in a while

[gooboogy]

i thought they named the ships Terror and Erebus in the show for the symbolism and drama but the ships were actually called that??? talk about a self fulfilling prophecy lmao??

[gooboogy]

salty butter noodle save me 😩🙏🔥

[gooboogy]

the thing that pisses me off about laika is that she died scared and alone. everything after to honor her is just to make us feel better. it doesn't change that she died scared and alone. we have no way of knowing if she knew she was loved. what we do know is she suffered and died scared and alone. laika died scared and alone. don't forget it. she can't hear you honoring her. she died scared and alone.

[gooboogy]

My music is now on Bandcamp!

To celebrate I've also released my silly little single Brorca (coming soon to streaming services near you!)

Here's another taste of some of my music as well for you, please check me out on Bandcamp or your local stream!

Tips is you're feeling generous (thank you everyone who has supported me so far!! ♥)

[gooboogy]

I LOVE sex it's so cool!!!!! No I am never going to have it <3

[gooboogy]

nothing is worse than when you have the time to play video games and want to really bad but your body hurts too fucking much to go play it :[

[gooboogy]

I think it's real fuckin stupid that the primary treatment for stuff like OCD is distress tolerance aka a polite way of saying "get used to it." I don't feel like professionals even appreciate what it is they're asking of us. just, perpetually withstand severe chronic pain and put yourself in positions of even more intense pain, especially for the sake and comfort of others. as if it's somehow different from what I've been doing my whole fucking life. as if I haven't already been pushing myself to my limits constantly so I can be Normal. like I come to you for help and you're just like yeah you're just gonna have to deal with it, take some deep breaths. hope this helps. like you're right actually I think I'd like to stand in a big fire, I was just so tired of walking on these hot coals but the big fire that swallows me whole is actually way better for me thanks

[gooboogy]

it's one of those against the kitchen floor earworm kind of nights

[gooboogy]

I feel like one thing I don't see people talk about a lot when it comes to the cult of health and fitness we're subjected to is sports culture, especially for kids sports. I've been in sports teams my entire life, and in absolutely none of them was I allowed to rest (especially without shaming or punishment) when my body hurt or when I was simply too tired, at my limit. they take "no pain no gain" so seriously. you MUST hurt yourself if you want to be worthy and succeed. you MUST completely disregard your boundaries and limits in order to be accepted, bare minimum. they are exceptional at making you feel terrible shame for taking a break when you need it, especially when other people on the team are able to keep going and you can't. then you get blamed for holding the team back. this is for children's sports

[gooboogy]

can i just say what the hell is this

[gooboogy]

tempted to go to grad school just so i can more effectively tell researchers how fuckin stupid they are

[gooboogy]

every time I see posts about how to not be so suicidal all I can think of is

[gooboogy]

listen to midst