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#got wait listed for another scholarship lmao </3
kimmkitsuragi · 4 months
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not my first reaction to this information as i learned it during the intermission of challengers (yes i finally went to see it) and i was having a lowkey breakdown through the intermission and the beginning of the second half a little bit but ummm: well of fucking course i literally dont deserve anything
#why did i even try this hard. i dont think i deserve anything tbh#dont mind me sounding dramatic im actually fine like lol#im sad but ok but also like. i got used to being a failure and a disappointment this last year so#i feel very tired now. it wasnt a bad day overall and im happy i decided against going alone today#bc i wouldve literally ended up crying in public if i was alone lmfao#ah. ahhhhh :/ i really really really was hoping for a better outcome#stupid girl as always#anyway i really am fine i just need to be dramatic for a moment. i truly do not deserve anything i get ever im sorry#if anyone read until this point and wondering what the fuck couldve happened that got me like this#well it's truly not that important in the grand scheme of things and im being stupid#got wait listed for another scholarship lmao </3#truly stupid and foolish of me to even think from the start that i could do this lmao#what's even more stupid is im still like well. well 🤠 hey maybe 🤗#i just know im going to be feeling extremely guilty for even existing even if i end up being able to go at this point lmao#and it's so stupid to even write all this. over something like this when people have real problems and stuff lmao#truly what did i think make me worthy of this chance im so not special and dont deserve this etc etc#all this negative self talk and i will still be sleeping like 😴😴😴 still hoping for the best dont worry#and that's because im stupid#🗒#i will drink tea this day has been lacking tea so critically :/
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moosoobi · 4 years
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Confessions
In the night: Chapter 2
T.Jeff- Hamilton: the musical 
Y/N can’t hold all her secrets. She’s tired of hiding. The people deserve the truth. Here’s her confession: the one she should’ve told us long ago
I started to write this chapter the day after I finished chapter 1, yet before the first chapter was even published (time management queen). As I’m typing this message, I’m currently distracting myself from finals LMAO. Anyway, I wanted to finish this chapter as soon as possible to give some explanation of the events in the previous chapter, so I hope I do exactly that. I’m still manifesting that I articulate through this story smoothly, please give me feedback <3 
MC (aka Y/N’s) POV 
Modern au 
Word Count: 5.4k
A few unrealistic realities, but I’m working with what I got
This chapter will most likely answer many questions about chapter 1 
THIS CHAPTER OCCURS AT THE SAME TIME AS CHAPTER 1! all events in this chapter line up with the events of chapter 1
Disclaimers: 
TW: violence, abuse, mentions of blood, themes of injury, itty bitty angst?
photo not mine <3
If you have any questions/concerns about this story, DONT BE SHY TO ASK ME! This is my first time writing a whole series, so I apologize if the plot gets confusing. 
-Now Playing: Broken Clocks by SZA-
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Where to start… 
My attention was taken from Professor Washington’s lecture the moment I felt a pair of eyes attempting to pierce a hole in the back of my head. As I look back, I realize that it’s no one other than Thomas Jefferson, the spoiled francophile, or so people like the whisper, but gossip’s not my thing.
Upon being called out by Professor Washington, I couldn’t hold in my giggle as Thomas’s head ducks down in embarrassment. I suppose he sure knows how to lighten the demeanor in the lecture hall; It was a nice excuse to take my eyes off of Washington’s low-quality power-point presentation, but I appreciate that the man is trying. 
This class feels like it’ll last forever, and I contemplate if I could just perish in my seat at this very instant, yet Thomas’s presence seems to make it worthwhile. I don’t know him that much, or maybe at all for that matter, but since he’s been seen with a Schuyler, the locals around here can’t seem to keep their mouths shut about him. 
From what I’ve heard, he’s another silver-spoon raised boy representing Virginia up here in New York. A few scholarships here and there, as well as a trip to France for a semester. I don’t see what all the fuss is about; He seems like a pretty cool person, probably has an exciting life, and isn’t throwing away his shot. It’s odd, even with parents to piggyback off of, Thomas is very similar to a certain orphan I know. 
“Class is dismissed” Is all I heard from Professor Washington’s mouth before that obnoxious but relieving bell sounds off. 
Desperate to get out of this class, I hurry to put my stationery items into my burgundy-magenta backpack. You’d think after those turbulent years of high school that college would motivate me for fancier bags, but I can’t say no to my favorite color. It’s simple, won’t bring attention to my presence, unlike every other decision I’ve made in my life. 
After I finally finished packing up, I can’t wait to take a breath of the fresh, polluted air of New York City. I quickly spotted my roommate's car within the crowd of vehicles next to the sidewalk. He’s on time, as always, to pick me up from class, and I’m grateful that he sacrifices his time for me, but it’s not like he had a choice. I toss my bag into the trunk, surely crinkling a few important papers. Upon reaching the door of his expensive car, my roommate greets me with joy to see me. 
“How was class, Cherie?” 
Lafayette, my roommate, shoots a smile at me, his white teeth are almost blinding, but he always says I’m exaggerating. 
“Boring as always, but I’m still here, sadly” I say as I hop into the front seat of Lafayette’s car. He pouts in my direction 
“Ahh, c’mon, don’t be like that.” Once he acknowledges the buckling of my seatbelt, he begins to power up the car. “C’est la vie, Y/N” I roll my eyes, my hatred for him grows just a little more every time he says that. 
“Can we get McDonald’s?” I attempt to change the subject, earning a small chuckle from him. He prepares to drive off “You know I can't say no to you and your American junk food” 
And so we begin to drive off  
Lafayette and I indeed have a bit of history together. After I got mistakenly involved with Alexander and his clique, Lafayette was the next best (or worse) person to walk into my life. He’s sweet, charming, probably all the things Americans are not; the gentleman hails from France. Yet he’s so much more than that. 
Ever since I caught his eye at that obnoxious high school party, he and I hit the ground running. Disclosing the events which took place in his-
our bedroom won’t solve the problem, but the stubble on his jaw and the way he holds the steering wheel with one hand nearing my thigh reminds me of the unresolved sexual tension between the both of us. 
I’ve only been living in his apartment for a few months, an idea he proposed when I mentioned my dreadful rent. A nice view, nice coffee maker, and nice bedsheets were more than enough to convince me, but I know there’s more to that “nice” list that I shouldn’t disclose. 
Though I know his intentions were good, I’m sure he invited me into his abode to protect me from Alex. 
Since I began to band with Alex and his gang, Alexander’s been strict about getting me home on time. It wasn’t only because I was a helpless high school student, but also to prevent me from ratting him and his group out to the authorities. 
Upon joining Alex's posse, a strict curfew has been placed on me, only to ensure I stay safe at night, or perhaps to make sure I don’t betray them. 
Moving in with Lafayette made following this time limitation easier for me, especially since he volunteers to drive me home or takes a stand for me. If the unfortunate event of my arrival past my ‘bedtime’ timer occurs, Alexander ensures I pay the price.
Speaking of arrivals, Lafayette passes me a box of hot, salty fries and a smile spreads across my face. His eyes visibly soften as my entire demeanor changes.  
“Have I ever told you that you’re the best person ever?” I spilled my thoughts while stuffing my mouth with fries. He lightly chuckles, watching me. 
“Maybe a couple of times..” He prepares to drive off again “...too many times, actually.” he shot a wink at me. 
Blood didn’t have any time to rush to my cheeks before I could slap the side of his shoulder, causing him to whine in discomfort. I sigh before returning my focus to the steaming fries in front of me. The tension grows, and so does the silence between us. Eager to break the tension, I propose an idea. 
“Let’s go home?” we turn to each other at the same time 
“Oui.” 
---
I enter Professor Washington’s lecture hall and my attention is driven to the two curly-headed Virginians. I watch in secondhand embarrassment as Thomas Jefferson and his friend playfully argue in front of the entire class, seemingly a heated debate of the greatness of Mac and Cheese. One argues on behalf of the gooey pasta, while the other simultaneously retorts with a mix of “you’re so stupid” and “God help me”. 
Feeling a rush of confidence and suaveness, my brain urges my body to intervene in their conversation. Maybe it was to make new friends, or perhaps to stop the class from staring at their dumb dispute, but I swiftly walk over to them. The next few words to come out of my mouth fell into place oh-so-perfectly. 
“Hey, can I sit here?” 
Upon sitting in between the two Virginians, they introduce themselves. The calmer, self-collected man among the two introduced himself as James Madison, while the bolder, upbeat man introduced himself as no other than Thomas Jefferson. Both of them seemed happy that I interrupted and decided to reach out to them, maybe one was a tad more excited than the other. 
And ever since then, Professor Washington can’t seem to split up our trio. From childish jokes and a few inappropriate inferences, Thomas and James make great company. The idiotic smile that spreads across Thomas’s face whenever he’s capable of making James and I break our silence during class would become more annoying than Lafayette saying “C’est la vie” whenever I make a poor life decision. 
Nevertheless, Thomas and James dangerously remind me of Alexander and his goons. The abundant amount of self-praise and cocky remarks said by both Thomas and Alexander is almost astronomical. In the case of Thomas and Alexander’s meeting, I’m sure they’d be the best of friends. But likewise, I could also envision the two attempting to tear each other's heads off, the chaotic clashing of two powerful minds. 
They always know what to say and when to say it. I’ve never met anyone as clever as Thomas and James, and they’re even worse when they’re together.  
“‘ ‘s Adams here today? Washington told me to turn in my papers t’ him.” Thomas whispers as he eases into his chair, Washington’s booming voice seems to become background noise to us 
“Is he ever?” I reply, attempting not to giggle at my own response “I haven’t seen him since Washington initially introduced him to the class.” 
“Maybe he’s jus’ sick or somethin’. Kinda reminds me of you, James'' His head of curls turns to stare down James, in which James replies by rolling his eyes 
“He can stay home, he does the same amount of work there anyways.” James cleverly retorted. 
And that seemed to be our last straw before bursting out in laughter. Thomas’s body flung forward as he laughed his head off, James ducking his head to hide his glee behind his laptop, and I quickly slap a hand over my mouth to prevent anyone around us from drawing suspicion. But apparently, Washington wasn’t having our disguises. 
“Can the three of you even tell me what I just said?” Washington turns around from the board to scan the crowd, his eagle eyes find us quickly 
The silence was all we could emit, and soon enough, He turned back to his lesson. I sigh with relief; the last thing I need is to get kicked out of a class I don’t even pay for. 
...
“Washington sure got a shiny ass head. D’you think he uses shampoo and conditioner?” Whispered Thomas as he leans over to me 
And just like that,  we’re faced with the same struggle all over again.
—-
Lafayette adjusted the hot pan, erupting a few sizzles. The wall clock ticked, the hour arm froze pointing to the “11” written in roman numerals. Lafayette and I decided to agree on a home-cooked meal, and although it’s too late for an average dinner, yet too early to be defined as a midnight snack, I’m sure Lafayette’s cooking will satisfy me for the night. 
“Y/NN, would you prefer salt on your omelet? Or did you decide to be healthy tonight?” He said holding a salt shaker in the air to steal my focus from the swirling red liquid in my glass. 
My head lifts to meet his eyes. I tilt my head, the wine causing me to ponder for a little longer than I should’ve. He continues to stare at me, holding in a laugh, before I force myself to nod. 
“Yeah.. a little won’t hurt” I hear him chuckle at my drunken dialect, but I know the French man isn’t about to lecture me about English “Your wish is my command.” 
I watch as he conducts the kitchen perfectly. He knows where everything is, exactly what to add into the sizzling pan, maybe even the exact second to take the meal off the flame. 
“I thought you weren’t a fan of monarchy?” the sarcasm was evident in my tone “but I appreciate the submission” I shot him a playful wink, to which he responds with a pompous smirk
A few sips of wine later, I recognize notification that has been staring back at me for hours. 
1 Message from Thomas
A text from Thomas? And I’m barely seeing this now? I silently scold myself for giving into the wine before opening the message.
“Thomas: Hey this is Thomas from class, wanna come study with us at the library sometime?”
My eyes become glued to my phone. It was certainly necessary for me to reread Thomas’s text, I was unsure if the alcohol was beginning to make me see odd things, but I assured myself I was correct.
I could feel the blush spread across my face. Maybe it’s just the wine taking control, or maybe it’s the butterflies in my stomach forming every time I reread his message. A harmless invite, perhaps evoked from Thomas due to James stroking his ego, but I know James’ wouldn’t promote such a bold, straight-forward message. Though Thomas is known for his meticulous confidence and certainty, a message this simple could be notably deceiving. 
But a little socializing won’t damage my self-respect. “Be bold, Y/N” is what I used to tell myself at the beginning of the semester, and what do I have to lose? I begin to type my reply.
“Y/N: yeah I’m down :) just send a time and place and I’ll be on my way”
Sent.
 My introspection was soon interrupted by the screeching plate being slid in my direction by Lafayette, the steam circulating the meal 
“Y/N, Mangeons.” My head comes up from my phone, my eyes meet his eyes momentarily. 
“Thanks, Laf.” I reply before taking a fork from him and digging into the steaming meal ahead of me. Lafayette’s cooking never disappoints. Ever. 
My body couldn’t help but pick up my phone every few minutes to respond to Thomas’s messages, Though they were just the details of the hangout-offer he previously proposed, I felt enclosed in my little bubble while texting him. Those few moments of interaction with him somehow made my day better. I’m sure even Lafayette could see my radiating energy, but I’m not sure how he took it.
We’re technically not a couple; a few hookups and moving in together don't make us an official couple, right? 
“Merci, Laffy.” I watched as he visibly cringed at my poor attempt at french. “Let’s just stick to our mother tongues, angel.” He retorted. I laughed it off, yet inside his reply left a scratch on my pride. 
--- 
Another class of absolute foolery and childish inferences, and I can’t help but laugh as Thomas, James, and I exit the lecture hall. The New-York cold hits us harshly, but being about a month into this semester, students already know what to expect. 
It was indeed embarrassing, running to Lafayette’s car to remind him of your library study session. 
“Alright, I’ll pick you up before your curfew, okay?” He asked with one hand on the wheel. His faux-leather jacket contorting around his toned arms made it difficult not to remember the moments they shared around midnight. The imagery of their candle-lit room appearing in her head as he sat at the wheel stopped her from replying for a moment. 
“Y-Yeah sounds great. You’re the best, you know that?” She thanked him for sacrificing his time to make sure she arrives home on time. 
“You remind me all the time.” He sneaks in a small wink between his sentences “I’ll see you tonight, Cherie” 
Y/N smiled before turning around to prance over to her friends. Y/N heard the faint sounds of Lafayette driving off, sighing in relief
After briefly explaining my situation to the boys, we quickly head over to the library. 
A woman in a coral-pink blazer and pants set is waiting impatiently at a table she rented out just for us. “What in the world took you guys so long?” She pressured for an answer 
“C’mon Angie, that wasn’t even ten minutes.” Thomas rolled his eyes before removing his backpack and opening a chair for Y/N. Real smooth, Thomas, I can’t lie. He looked over to me, seeing stars in my eyes as I realize I’m standing next to the oldest Schuyler.
 “You’re-” She interrupted me with a smile, sticking out her hand to shake mine
“Angelica Schuyler. And you?” I swear her name sounds familiar. I’m sure I’ve heard it around but I just can't place it. I do see her on my social media feed from time to time, and I must admit, she looks even more heavenly in person. 
“Y/N L/N.” My hand meets hers in a firm handshake. 
“Nice to meet you.” 
—-
At first, I thought nothing of it. 
Though Lafayette’s text at 7:30 (on the dot) did push me out of my zone, I did appreciate his promise to me. 
Thomas on the other hand seemed disturbed by my sudden leave, but it’s not like he’d understand. Alexander would literally kill me if I were home late.
But Thomas and I would continue to hang out. His evening texts would slowly become a weekly routine. Whether it was a scary movie or an ice cream date for just the two of us, he always found a way to spend time with me. 
“Don’t tell me that mint chocolate chip is actually your favorite flavor, darlin’.” He adjusted his position on the park bench and raised an eyebrow, his gaze focused on the green ice cream atop my ice cream cone “You might make me regret takin’ you out tonight” he chuckled and I couldn���t help but smile 
“You know you love me” I jokingly retorted, scooping part of my ice cream with my tongue, and relaxing against the bench.
It’s very rare to get to relax like this. Not only am I a fully-fledged college student, but also one of Alexander’s goons. The weekends are merely just ‘weekdays: the sequel’, but add forbidden literature and alcohol to that equation.
I look back up to Thomas, seeing his disgusted face. “Wait.. are you actually against mint chocolate chip ice cream?” I cocked an eyebrow towards him
He shrugged before chuckling “I recall telling you of my unfortunate arguments while visiting England..” 
“..so what does mint chocolate chip ice cream have to do with your political upheavals in a foreign country?” 
He smirked in an ‘all knowing’ manner. “Well, Darlin, if you did your research—“
“—You’ve got to be kidding me—“I start to wonder why I even asked 
“—you’d learn that the monstrosity in your ice cream cone, mint chocolate chip, originated in England.” He completed his statement with triumph “Ever since my disagreements in England, I swore to despise such a concoction until the day I die.” 
I looked at him like he was crazy. “I can’t believe you did your research on English creations. You’re so dramatic sometimes” I respond 
“Hey, I wouldn’t be a Jefferson if I wasn’t.” He stared back to his cone, the mesmerizing ice cream almost reflecting himself back at him. 
We shared silence for a moment. Words were unnecessary when we were together. 
“I suppose..” Jefferson started “...I might be able to tolerate mint chocolate chip ice cream, but only for you, though.” He turned towards my direction 
My eyes soon met his. “Well, I’m honored to be your exemption, Jefferson.” I smile with triumph, recognizing my effect on him. 
He swiftly takes my hand, his skin feels burning compared to mine. Our eyes remain connected as he dips his head down to kiss the back of my hand. I attempt to hide the fact that my heart stopped beating for a moment, but the breath hitching in my throat wouldn’t help me at all. 
“Let’s drop the formalities, Darlin, you can call me Thomas now.” My hand remained between his. I try my best to keep my hand still, wanting to marinate in this moment forever. 
A new feeling courses through my body. Something unfamiliar. Perhaps it’s the charm of a Southern Gentleman. Maybe the feeling of being treated right for the first time, something I’ve never experienced from anyone.
What have I ever done to deserve this chivalrous kindness? 
‘What a gentleman’ I repeat to myself in my mind. What makes him so different from the others? 
From a simple kiss, I suddenly crave more.
More than the unresolved sexual tension between Lafayette and I. 
More than I was ever granted the opportunity to. 
Maybe ‘more’ is what I deserve. 
My mind bleeds with the thought of Lafayette, but Thomas seems like he has so much more to offer. What if I do deserve to be happy? I may not have earned it, but who gets to declare my right to happiness? I was once happy with Lafayette, but the times have changed
He’s just not him. He’s just not Thomas.
---
But no matter how much I enjoyed spending time with Jefferson himself, I was always the first one to leave. I had to. 
I remember the way his smile would fall at the sound of Lafayette’s car horn. 
The way his jaw tenses whenever my phone vibrates across the table 
Whenever Lafayette came to pick me up, I also can’t help but feel a part of my soul crack within me. 
“I’ll see you this weekend?” He kisses the back of my hand once more in an attempt to savor this moment, continuing to maintain eye contact.
“I’ll try, Thomas. Not sure if I’m busy.” I sigh with fatigue. “But I’ll let you know.” 
“Alright. Get home safe, darlin’” I hear him stand from the park bench as I wander to Lafayette’s car, his eyes following my figure. 
I hop into Lafayette’s car before taking one last glance in Thomas’s direction, watching as his figure begins to walk in the opposite direction that our car was heading. 
“Ahh, Y/N. Don’t tell me you’re cheating on me” his sarcastic tone wouldn’t pierce deep enough. 
I speak without thinking. “I do recall you claiming that you and I were never a couple, remember Laf?” My change in demeanor was certain to shut him up. And he did. 
He’s just not him. He’s just not Thomas. 
I remained turned away from Lafayette as we drove through the city. The memories built between Lafayette and I constantly falls like a house of cards, but I prefer to avoid the subject.
Lafayette felt otherwise, yet respected my choice. 
He was the first to speak.
“Alexander needs me for a transport this weekend.” He stated, “I’m not sure when I’ll get back, so it’s very important that you get back from whatever plans you have before your curfew.” He takes a glance over to me and briefly meets my eyes 
“Don’t test the waters, Y/N.”
Ah yes, the monthly literature transportation of Alexander’s gang. 
The Notorious Sons of Liberty. 
A popular group roaming the streets of New York. But instead ironically of selling drugs or performing homicide, they produce and sell illegal, banned literature and disperse them to the highest bidders. 
How else do you think I pay for college? 
Although gang violence isn’t really their thing, that doesn’t mean they’re not in possession of such weaponry and devices. I’ve never seen anyone take literature as seriously as they do.
They’re also known for their bold publicity stunts, which are indeed fun to watch from a nearby coffee shop. Watching Alexander, Lafayette, and some other friends, John and Herc, run from the authorities on a Sunday afternoon, accidentally laughing at the sight of John tripping over his own feet, Lafayette mouthing ‘help us out’ in my direction. Very entertaining. 
On the contrary, their security on me has become tighter and tighter. I know they worry for the gang’s reputation over my safety, but it feels nice to imagine having a battalion of book-worm gang members watching over you. 
“I know, I know. You guys can stop treating me like a kid” I attempt to contain a giggle to portray my seriousness. 
He takes a glance at me before returning his attention to the road. “You cannot say that until you have another way home other than me.” He sighed rather loudly 
“Be careful, or I might do just that, Lafayette.” 
---
I sipped on wine and ate cheese at Thomas’s place without a care in the world on a Saturday night. Of course, I had to accept Thomas’s offer, I never knew how to say no to him. 
Jefferson has sure been taking his sweet time to put a title on us. Now, I’m no philosopher when it comes to dating, but Ice cream at the park, fancy dinners, and wine and cheese sure sound romantic. 
My night was going well. All until the 7:30 alarm on my phone rang, and before I knew it, everything began to go downhill
[events of chapter 1]
And next thing I knew, the cold New York air slapped my face, following the harsh slam of the apartment door. 
As my adrenaline began to settle down, panic rushed through my body. 
Fuck. At this rate, I won’t be home until after my curfew. Although my immediate instinct was to sprint my way home, those thoughts were quickly followed by the idea of passing out within five minutes. My apartment isn’t too far, but being fueled by wine and cheese doesn’t sound like the best idea. 
“Don’t test the waters, Y/N” echoed throughout my head. 
I begin to walk down the street before whipping out my phone to contact an Uber. 
The small talk produced between my driver and I worked a bit to calm myself down, but that would all change the moment I walked through my apartment door. 
Once I turn back around from locking the door, I’m met with exactly what I didn’t want to see at this very moment. 
Lafayette stood staring at me, his lips pursed with anxiousness, recognizing my significantly late arrival. 
Hercules, another good friend I’ve met through the sons of liberty, stood beside Lafayette. His mouth hung open in shock as he also recognized my mistake. 
John, the group’s smallest yet mightiest, leaned against the wall, perhaps planning my fate right in front of me 
And none other than Alexander Hamilton himself, sipping scotch on my couch, similarly to how I was not too long ago at Thomas’s place. The glare on his face quickly reminded me that I was in big trouble. 
“Y/N, I thought I told you—“ Lafayette began but was quickly interrupted 
“You’re late.” He swirled his drink before standing up. The clock ticked, and the hour hand notably passed the 8:30 symbol. I was not getting out of this one. 
Although I feared for the following moments, I attempted to contain my emotions within myself. I kept my straight face for the time being. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. 
“I’m well aware.” That came out of my mouth  a little too harsh for my liking 
“May I remind you that being out past your curfew could severely damage our image.” 
I saw John look over to Alex from the corner of my eye. The air became thinner if that were even possible, and I refused to meet his eyes.
“And I do recall reminding you of your consequences.” He walked towards me and I felt my heart froze. “Having you out so late could raise some suspicions among our competitors, L/N.” 
I couldn’t find the right words and resort to nodding instead 
“I always fucking told you—“ he harshly slammed his drink onto the table beside him “—not to test the waters—” 
“—I-I know—“
“So why the fuck are you stumbling in here past your curfew?”
 At this very moment, I wondered if I had pulled the last straw. 
I couldn’t speak. God forbid I spat out the wrong words. Contained within my thoughts, I didn’t acknowledge Alexander closing the distance between us. 
“Ow!--” I watched as Alex shoved me to the wall, the moment playing in slow motion in my head. 
Lafayette’s throat grew dry “Hey, Alex, Calm dow-” 
He was interrupted by the sound of Alexander harshly slapping me across the face. My hands quickly went to soothe what felt like fire burning my cheek. 
“We do so much for you, Y/N.” Alex growled 
The sharp pain in my side grew, almost echoing throughout my body. I could feel my body giving up on itself. I mean, this wouldn’t be the first time Alex has acted like this. 
Occasionally, Alex would stop by Lafayette and I’s apartment just to ensure I was home before my curfew, and he wasn’t the most forgiving. 
--He owns an apartment key and has every single one of his gang member’s location tracked on his phone. Sometimes I wondered what was so special about us to have to keep all of us in check 24/7--
One time Hercules and I went shopping a little too late after sunset, part of me felt like a reckless teenager, probably because I was. I still remember Alexander’s face when I entered my own apartment, he looks identical every time. 
In an attempt to shelter me, my body curled into itself against the wall. I shrunk to the floor, feeling his shadow intensely stand above me. 
“Arghh!—“ the sound spilled out of me when I felt Alexander’s shin connect with my rib cage. 
My lungs felt punctured under the pressure.
My arms felt like they could give out any second.
Part of me had wished I’d stay at Thomas’s place tonight, even if it meant telling him the truth. 
What a predicament I’ve gotten myself into. 
I looked up, wondering if my torment was over until I was met with a —Crack— Alexander’s knee encountered my face. 
It was only a moment before I could hear the shuffling of the others’ shoes. I prayed they were coming to help me out.
Alexander lifted his glass of alcohol, previously forgotten, and hauled it towards me
Crash! 
The piercing shards of glass combining with the stinging alcohol were the last thing I needed on a Saturday night. I didn’t notice the tears falling from my eyes until now, and the way my heart felt like it was just on a rollercoaster. 
I kept my head low, watching blood drip down my face and onto the floor below me. And apparently, I wasn’t the only one to notice. 
“Alex! What the fuck?!” I heard Laurens yell
“Are you trying to kill her?!?” I recognized Lafayette’s scream
Before Alex was able to make another blow, Lauren and Lafayette were quick to hold him back, attempting to calm him down. 
Hercules swiftly knelt beside me, the guilt was obvious in his gaze. I hated the pity in each of their glances towards me. He attempted to wipe away the blood from my forehead with a paper towel. 
Alexander fought back against the two, trying his best to prove his point. There’s the Hamilton we all know, unwilling to stand down no matter the cost.
Hercules turned back to me, his words were ready to leave his mouth from the moment we reconnected eyes. 
“Y/N..” He pulled me up and shoved me out of my apartment door. “..Run.” I almost stumbled into a nearby pole, but I began running, if running in my condition was possible, back to Thomas’s place. 
—-
[events of chapter 1]
The next thing I knew, I woke up in Thomas’s bed beside him. I took a moment to soak in the feeling of his satin sheets. Part of me can’t recall the events before I passed out in front of Thomas’s apartment, or maybe my mind refuses to remember them. 
The sun hasn’t risen yet. 
I turn to my side and reach for my phone, wincing from the pressure applied to my rib cage. 
The bright light of my phone hitting my eyes felt like I was transported to another dimension. 
54 notifications: 
12 calls from Lafayette 🥐
24 texts from Lafayette 🥐
1 text from Alexander 💡
3 calls from Mariah 💋
14 texts from Mariah 💋
“oh fuck..” I sigh, wondering how things will play out. 
Out of curiosity, I open the message from Alexander. Perhaps it’s an apology? Maybe a reminder? 
Alexander 💡: I know where you are, Y/N. Don’t drag your friend into this. Because I can.
Where I am? I ask myself
My heart dropped, remembering that Alexander tracks my location 24/7. He knows where I am at this very second. 
By escaping to Thomas’s apartment, I’ve just dragged him into this mess I’ve made. If my worlds collide, it would all be because I ran to this exact apartment. 
Panic once again rushed through my body. 
I need to get out of here. I need to leave. 
I slip out from under the sheets and grab my belongings. Unprepared for what’s to come, I steal one of Thomas’s jackets from his cluttered desk chair. I’ll give it back eventually, I thought to myself. 
After I put on my shoes I take one last glance toward Thomas. 
He seems so peaceful when he’s asleep, tangled in his blanket, not to mention his name-brand Mac and cheese pajama pants. 
I’m sorry if I drag you into this, Thomas, you just wouldn’t understand.
Taglist <3: @kenmacrumbs @strayblades  @laic2299 @ohsoverykeri
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blissfulyoongi · 7 years
Text
/ Another Tag /
Thank you @btsjr for tagging me !! 💖
Rules: You must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people!
The last: 1. Drink - water 2. Phone call - dad 3. Text message - my friend 4. Song you listened to - Reflection (BTS)  5. Time you cried - a few months ago I guess 6. Dated someone twice - no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it - yea 8. Been cheated on - I don;t know, I hope not 9. Lost someone special - If I lost myself does it count? 10. Been depressed - yes 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up - no
List three favorite colors:
12. Red 13. Black 14. White
In the last year have you: 15. Made new friends - yes 16. Fallen out of love - yes 17. Laughed until you cried - yes 18. Found someone who talked about you- no 19. Met someone who changed you - no... 20. Found out who your friends are - yes 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list - no
General: 22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life - I’ve talked to at least a half of them 23. Do you have any pets - no 24. Do you want to change your name - no 25. What did you do for your last birthday - my mom, sister and friends gave me cakes, then I hung out with my friends~ 26. What time did you wake up - around 10/11 today, but usually 5 27. What were you doing at midnight last night - reading fanfics lol 28. Name something you cant wait for - graduation, I actually want to continue my study abroad hoping that I can get scholarships 29. When was the last time you saw your mom - I’m in the same room as her now 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life - I wish I don’t spend money on food and I wish I can save my money better 31. What are you listening to right now - nothing 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - no 33. Something that is getting on your nerves - when people don’t listen to me, when people underestimate me, and don;t take me seriously.  34. Most visited website - twitter 35. Elementary - okay 36. Middle school - the best! 37. High school - no 38. College - technically it’s a uni and so far It’s TIRING I legit have to take trains for 1,5 hours just to get there everyday, and the major I’m taking is quite hard I kinda regret taking it but oh well gotta finish what I started. 39. Hair color - black 40. Long or short hair - short 41. Do you have a crush on someone - not interested in having crushes tbh 42. What do you like about yourself - my humour I guess, my eyes, and idk 43. Piercings - ears 44. Blood type - B 45. Nickname - Elda 46. Relationship status - single 47. Pronouns - she/her 48. Favorite tv show - is ‘I Can See Your Voice’ a tv show? lmao 49. Tattoos - no 50. Right or left hand - right 51. Surgery - haven’t got any 52. Sport - swimming 53. Vacation - the thing I need the most atm! south korea, swiss, uk, europe, japan, china, everywhere but here T-T 54. Pair of trainers - idk 55. Eating - depends on the food I’m a picky eater except when I;m hungry which could be anytime so - 56. Drinking - getting used to drink water as much as I can, but I still love chocolate and coffee, and coke 57. I’m about to - do Photoshop 58. Waiting for - tomorrow to see my friends 59. Want - money, concert tickets, plane tickets 60. Get married - I don;t want to bcs I have no one in mind, but the thought of being married is nice, but idk  61. Career - I want to be a graphic designer or just something that can bring me closer to meeting BTS im  TT 
Which is better:
62. Hugs or kisses - hugs 63. Lips or eyes - eyes 64. Shorter or taller - taller 65. Older or younger - older 66. Nice arms or nice stomach - nice arms 67. Sensitive or loud - sensitive 68. Hook up or relationship - relationship 69. Troublemaker or hesitant - troublemaker
Have you ever: 70. Kissed a stranger - no 71. Drank hard liquor - no 72. Lost glasses/contact lenses - I didn;t lose my glasses but I dropped it from a motorbike and got crushed by a car so - 73. Turned someone down - nah 74. Sex on first date - no 75. Broken someones heart - I did but the same person broke my heart afterwards, so 76. Had your heart broken - yes 77. Been arrested - no 78. Cried when someone died - yes 79. Fallen for a friend - yes TT
Do you believe in 80. Yourself - sometimes I do, sometimes I dont’  TT 81. Miracles - yes 82. Love at first sight - I guess 83. Santa Claus - no 84. Kiss on the first date - no 85. Angles - yes 86. Fate - yes 87. Ghosts - kinda 88. Supernatural - I think so...
Other: 89. Current best friends name - Emile & Rheina, both are my sister and my cousin hehe, + Tasya, Nisa, Petty, Astri, Vanya. Areta, Quilla, Dyma, ok so many- 90. Eye color - brown 91. Favorite movie - harry potter series 92. People you can trust - family and my closestt friends
wow it;s so many but it was fun!
I’m tagging @mellowsuga @yoongiahs @safejimin @cypherpart420 @93minss @honeyysuga @bangtan-damntan @kimseaokjin <3
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nationwide insurance rhode island
"nationwide insurance rhode island
nationwide insurance rhode island
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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nationwide insurance rhode island
nationwide insurance rhode island
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I am unemployed. My wife has me, our son, and herself on her job group rate medical insurance. Up to October this year, for the last 10 years, she pays $79.00 per month for medical ...show more""
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Cheapest SR22 car insurance?
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nationwide insurance rhode island
nationwide insurance rhode island
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How much control does the government have over malpractice insurance policies?
Does our government determine the guidelines for malpractice insurance or is this strictly up to the Insurance companies and the states?
Do I need SR22 insurance after a DWI 1st offense if my license is not suspended in the state of Louisiana?
About a year ago, I received my first DWI. I plead guilty under Article 894, and then about 3-4 months later, I contacted the DMV here in Louisiana, and they stated my license has not been suspended, and never was. Now, I am trying to get insurance on my truck I just bought, and the insurance company is telling me i have to get SR22 insurance. I thought SR22 insurance was needed when either your license was suspended previously, or you were forced to get a hardship license? I have never had to do either, and I don't understand why they are requesting me to get the SR22 insurance. The rates are already high enough with the DWI on my record, and the SR22 will be adding a good bit more. Just curious if someone can explain this to me about Louisiana and insurance which is required of me. I do still have a valid Class A CDL, not suspended, and never had to get a hardship license.""
How much will my insurance go up after a DUI??
I got a D.U.I. and i am going to get my license back soon and i am wondering how much my insurance will be compared to before.
Is universal life the best for a 25 yr old?
will the premium go up as I get older.When can I see a substantial savings account when I am about 55.What a good reputable company.What r the drawback.I know term goes up every year.Thanks in advance
""No pink slip yet, Can I insure my car in California. Also needs tags?
Ok so I bought a used G35 from a private seller but he has one more payment to pay until he gets his pink slip. We made a contract I still owe him some money until we switch it over to my name. My question is there any way to insure the car so I can drive it or should I just wait until its under my name and not drive it. Also it needs tag how should I go about that? I know the easiest way to do this is wait but I want to drive it already so if there is a possible way I'm willing to go out of my way.
My friend and I got tickets for rolling right thru a stop sign. Will insurance go up even if we dont get a pt?
So, a line of cars got tickets for 'rolling right through a stop sign'. We are considering just paying the fine and taking traffic school, so then we wont get a pt on our licenses. But will the ticket still count toward raising insurance rates if we dont get the point? What do we do if we take the traffic school thing online? Do we need to take the certificate anywhere when we pass? We live in California.""
""Discovered a lump, out on unemployment and without insurance- what to do?!?
My little brother (21) called me in a panic; he discovered a lump under the skin of his neck and is terrified its a tumor. He was laid off three months ago and doesn't have medical insurance. Is there anywhere in Riverside California that can check this for him for free or low cost- if only to put his mind at ease? I dont know what to tell him :-(
How Important is having Earthquake Insurance in California?
With Gobal Warming and all! Do you think it's important that I have Earthquake Insurance on my house? Crazy things have been happening and I just want to know I'm covered if a Massive Earthquake HIT California and damaged my house. I'd like to know HOW many Homeowners living in California have Earthquake coverage and what you would pay? I just got a quote that seems pretty good. $184.00 a year for coverage. Sounds pretty good huh? That's only about $15.33 dollars a month. Let me know what you think.
Home owners insurance?
I was wondering why insurance adjusters don't bring out in-fared while checking for home damage?? after all we pay for the insurance don't they have to look for the damage and have to be honest...
Where can i find good health insurance in san francisco?
Where can i find good health insurance in san francisco?
Insurance quote for my car?
I looked all over the place and insurance is very expensive or me. I am 17 years old. The car is a 1998 Mitsubishi eclipse gs 2 door. The car is under my moms name. I am currently under state farm and I qualify or the good student discount and safe driver discount on another car. I am currently paying 400 dollars for that car.
Boss mustang & insurance?
here's the thing. im 16 and live in VA. im saving up to get my dream car, a 1971 boss mustang. ive had my permit and hopefully about to get my license next month. everything would be perfect if it wasn't for the insurance price. are there any discounts that are available that would help out a lot? and does it cost anything if i just get my license and for now not drive? if so around how much? thanks a bunch in advance""
Will my car insurance go up?
I was recently in a car accident. A car was wrecklessly driving onto my lane and i swerved off to the right so that they would not hit me on my drivers side and i ended up hitting a pole on the passenger side (i left the accident no harm done onto me but my car is totaled). There was no other party so my insurance co (State Farm) had to pay for damages. Will my car insurance go up?
How much is your car insurance?
Just trying to get an idea of how much everyone pays...all my friends seem to pay less than me. I am 26, female. One speeding ticket and one DUI (in the state where I'm licensed)...both from 7 years ago. No accidents. I live in an urban area, a midwestern city with probably 200,000 people. I have a 2007 suzuki reno, base package, I have not made any insurance claims. The cheapest I've found is progressive at $110/month...I can't use places like The General or Safe Auto because my state doesn't allow it. When I get quotes from big companies, like state farm, the monthly cost is about $200...my coverage is probably fairly standard, if not on the low side, but meets state guidelines.""
Insurance for car and motorbike on one policy?
does anyone know of any insurance companys that will do a joint policy for car and motorbike. i have 2yrs ncb on my motorbike and have recently passed my car test so would like a company to take into account my riding experience when insuring me on a car. carole nash will only do this if you have had your car license for as long as you motorbike ncb.
Will my Geico go up after 6 months?
My Geico is only $62.84 monthly. I have the 6 month plan. I had Allstate before switching to Geico last month. I switched because every 6 months Allstate would go up by $25. I could NOT afford it! So I switched to Geico because it was $125 cheaper monthly. Everyone I've talked to said theres hasnt went up after 6 months. I have no criminal record, no tickets, no felonys no nothing, etc. So I was wondering for all you Geico customers, has Geico been good? Has it went up after 6 months? No arrogant answers, please!""
Does an unattended parked vehicle that was hit affect insurance rates when claimed?
I came to my parked car this evening and discovered it was hit from the back bumper up along the side half way through the back seat door. It is dented and scraped pretty badly. If I claim this with my insurance will it affect my rates being that I wasn't there?
How much to insure for drivers insurance?
Im 16, so I know it will be expensive. I will be getting a 4 Cyl car, either a Honda Prelude, Civic, Accord, Nissan 240sx, something along those lines. I took a drug and alcohol class which takes off 15% and then I got a B average which takes off another 10% can someone please tell me how much it would be a month? Thank you""
Good individual insurance?
My job doesn't provide insurance because it's technically not full time. I absolutely cannot be without medical insurance because I deal with things like depression, asthma, allergies, and back and neck pain from an accident (I need an insurance with very good prescription drug coverage, chiropractic care coverage, and mental health coverage-like therapy/psychiatrists). Needless to say I can't afford to NOT have insurance. I'm also overweight, so it's very hard to find affordable insurance for myself. Since February, I have been on individual insurance with CHAND, a high risk insurance division of Blue Cross Blue Shield of North Dakota. The insurance is pretty good, but I pay $260/month, which is way out of my budget. My question is this: are there any good and inexpensive insurances out there for me? I'm trying to save money for a second bachelor's degree (college) and a wedding. Can anyone help? Thank you in advance- I deeply appreciate it!""
Does anyone know where you can buy individual medical insurance? Epileptic reasons!?
Insurance expired.
Car insurance loopholes?
Are there any loopholes or 'tricks' I can employ to lower my car insurance? I'm 19, and the quotes I am getting are between 4000-5000. It's obscene, especially when my motorbike does 0-60 in 3 seconds and has a top speed of 160mph yet it costs me 350 a year to insure. Apparently I might not be able to 'handle the power of a Vauxhall Corsa'. Car insurers won't even take my 3 years motorcycle NCB into account. Is there anything I can do?""
What is the cheapest car insurance ?
for a ford mondeo 1998. Thank you.
Child support insurance in AZ.?
Can anyone tell me the laws in relationship t mu son turning 18? He'll still be in school, so law mandates I still pay child support til he's 19. But does that also mean I have to pay insurance until then also? His mother is the full-custody parent.""
Parents own car and insurance but im moving to California with it.?
My parents own the car and the car insurance is under their name. Im pay them montly but its cheaper that why i think. Im planning on moving to California in june but I need to take the car with me. Is it ok if I jus take it over their with no problem or do i need to put the car under my name as well as the car insurance? but i rather not change anything. thanks
nationwide insurance rhode island
nationwide insurance rhode island
Whats the cheapest auto insurance for California?
Whats the cheapest auto insurance for California?
When an insurance company gives you a quote is that for 1 month or 6 months?
Ive been looking for good insurance company because ill be getting my first car next month. its a white 2007 Deluxe Mustang, and of my age (18) my family is saying that my rates will be high. well i looking up qoutes and i got a few $178 $384 $668 and i was wondering it the quote for one month or 6. i looked at progressive, esurance, gieco, Ais etc.""
Re. Car insurance?
Anyone work in insurance buisness? I have 2 cars, my mobilty car and a smaller car. I origionally bought it for my wife as she doesnt like driving my mobility car as its too big. I was advised by insurers to keep car in my name, Using my insurance in my name with my wife as a named driver and my 18 year old son who as of yet cannot afford a car as he is attending college and only gets 30 a week EMA if he attends. My wife and I want to give him the car as a joint 18th and christmas present. Now I am stuck if I hand ownership to him and he is pressured into taking out his own policy, my insurance that I have built up over nearly 35 years will possibly be voided and if I need to insure another car in next 3 years after my mobility car is handed back, I may loose my max NCD. Can I legally keep car in my name also my insurance and make him a named main driver, my wife as second and me as third. I have life threatening illnesses and want to give my kids their own cars. cont'd""
16 year old insurance cost?
I'm a 16 year old boy and I'm getting ready to get my first car. My dad has given me options: 2003 Mitsubishi EVO 8, 2004-2005 Subaru WRX STI, or a 2003 BMW M3 E46? I was just wondering how much the insurance would be for each car.""
How can i get my car insurance company to lower my car insurance?
my car insurance went from 212 to 259 and i can't afford it but i need full coverage i am a full time nursing student and i just got 10 more monthsto go but i'm on a budget and that car insurance rate doesn't fit my budget
I need auto insurance in massachusetts with a low down payment. does anyone know of any?
I need auto insurance in massachusetts with a low down payment. does anyone know of any?
Insurance on a car that you do not own yourself?
Im 17 years old. My grandma will buy me a car. But she doesn't want me on her insurance, so she said i had to wait til i was 18 til she would buy it. I was wondering if it's possible for my mom to put insurance on the car for me, if she's not that one that own's it. She can't on it for medicaid reasons. Thanks.""
Can I sue my Car Insurance Broker?
I recently got into an accident. I was at fault. Rear-ended a guy, who rear-ended another car because of me. Was talking to my children in the backseat. Just bought a NEW car, a month ago, October 13. When we purchased the car, my Insurance Agent mentioned there was a problem with our insurance, that they needed to correspond with New Jersey Indemnity about some drivers that could be associated with my insurance. The Insurance Agent then called us back, said everything was okay, we purchased the car, and was able to drive it out from the dealership with our new insurance (full cover) on October 13. On October 16, the Broker made an appointment for an Insurance Inspection Report. We also paid an Endorsement to Insurance Company via our Insurance Agent. My accident was a month after the purchase of the car, November 12. Got our police report, went to our insurance Broker, they say that our policy was cancelled October 15, TWO DAYS after we purchased our new car. Please educated answers only. Can I sue my broker? What else can I do? I have children, would never drive without insurance...""
What is the best insurance company to have if you need to go into a rehabilitation center?
Which insurance covers the most??
Do you have to get insurance before you can get a license plate?
I just bought a used car off of someone and drove it home. Luckily it was at night because the car doesnt have a license plate. This is my first car and none of my family seems willing to answer the phone today to help me. What am I supposed to do first? When I looked up the cost of plates, it said that when purchasing the plates insurance must be presented at the time of purchase. So that means I have to get insurance before I can get the license plates right?""
Best insurance companies for 17 year old passed my test!!?
ok ive pased my test a month on friday and i gettin a car this week and i need some insurance on the car obviiously lol, well basically whats the cheapest car insurance all you 17 year old have and who is it with, please :)""
""For maternity insurance, is 50% coinsurance with low deductible and $3,000 maximum out of pocket expense good?""
We are looking for maternity coverage on health insurance through BCBS. If we are thinking this through correctly, policies with 80% coinsurance and policies with 50% coinsurance both have maximum out of pocket expenses for $3000. If we do not have to pay any more than $3000 after the deductible, wouldn't either plan work out about the same? Or is there some sort of loop hole that we will be help liable for more than the $3,000 out of pocket expense per year (we are aware of out of network charges).""
""For 17 Year Old Males, What's The Cheapest Car To Own For Insurance?""
Im Turning 17 Soon and Was Thinking of Getting a Car, I Just thinking of getting a car with a lowest insurance cost, I Cannot Find Anything on The Internet As Go Compare and Money Supermarket keep Changing there Results Everytime i Refresh, any help ?""
We are a new small business. Where is the best place to get workers compensation insurance?
Just looking for an insurance company (private sector?) who provides affordable workers compensation insurance for small businesses.
How much will my insurance go up with one point on my license?
I live in California and I have Farmers insurance, got a ticket for a speeding back in December and I didn't take traffic school so there's now a point on my ticket. Anyone know if Farmers cares about one point on the license and if so how I will be affected?""
Will obamacare lower health insurance premiums?
how will forcing more people to purchase a finite resource (increasing demand) cause the price to go down?
How much will car insurance be for me?
Well I'm 17, I have a 2008, mitsubishi eclipse se, and I've been driving since age 16, no violations or accidents. It will be added onto my parent's account.""
Do you think my car insurance would go up?
I am 18 years old. If my father were to buy me an Eclipse, do you think my car insurance would raise?""
Who has the cheapest auto insurance in california?
I need full coverage. Low downpayment.whatever it takes to get my licence and tags. I don't care if its barneys insurance and feed store. I just need my tags and licence
Premium rates increase after an auto accident?
I rear-ended a car and that car hit another car. The car in the middle I believe will have lots of damages to repair. When my premium rates increase, what is the deciding factor on how much it will increase? Is it the cost of repairs to the cars? or just the fact that I got into an accident. In addition, with this one accident and 2 cars having damaged does that mean that the insurance company would see me hitting 2 cars instead of one which will increase my premium even more? And by the way, my insurance company is mercury if that helps! Thanks!""
Why can auto insurance co legally discriminate?
Like gender, age, seems like everything (When you run tests through their quote systems) How can they legally discriminate like that? like 50% of the variables are user's preference determines the problem (Like having a classic, red sportscar, that's not my personality type but it raises rates)""
Will pre-existing conditions be covered by healthcare insurance offered by another employer?
I'm currently covered through my employer-sponsored healthcare insurance provided by Anthem Blue Shield/Blue Cross of California. If I decide to accept a job with another employer and a different healthcare insurance company, will my pre-existing conditions be covered? One of those conditions was surgery to remove neuroendocrine tumors.""
Pregnancy and insurance?
I am five weeks pregnant and do not have any insurance. I cannot afford too expensive insurance. Is there any other option for low-cost coverage during pregnancy? Does anybody know what kind benefits California state offer? I live a few years in the United States, so I am not familiar with types insurance. Thank you for any suggestions and help.""
Who took over an insurance company?
who now administers insurance policies previously administered by american health and life insurance company of new york
Need help with Car Insurance?
I am a 18 year old male in california, who just bought a 92 Buick Skylark and I need to no what would be my best bet when it comes to getting insurance, I would like cheap insurance.""
nationwide insurance rhode island
nationwide insurance rhode island
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/lafitte-louisiana-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-zip-70067-cole-dennis/"
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