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cinnamon-coffees · 3 years

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Pls read if u want :) tw: ed things but mostly bout how and why i’m recovering

also tw for s/h

ok so i feel like i should start here when i was in the worst of my ed my weight got incredibly low. so so so low that my mom would come into my room every single night and make sure my heart was still beating. everyone was concerned but it didn’t stop me. i was a shell of my former self. i isolated myself, had a short temper, was cold, and miserable, all i wanted was to die to simply sleep forever. and a lot of that was BEFORE i got into a low weight range. i lost my period and did all the anorexic things that i thought i had to do. my mom pulled me aside one day crying begging me to eat. it didn’t feel good or validating at all. it made me feel like a burden. my younger sister started to notice and would try to get me to eat with her. and i just couldn’t, at some point even gum had to many calories for me. i do cheer and dance and both of my coaches benched me in fear i would break a bone. my blood work was off and at the doctors i had 1 of 2 choices:

1.) i could recover at home with my parents

2.) i could go inpatient

i didn’t like either of those options so i decided to go with the first one. i was able to sneak around until everything came tumbling down on me and my mom started sitting with me every meal. we hired a dietitian and i was eating A LOT. it was so so scary. i wasn’t even gaining weight or doing fear foods just eating a lot. there was so much crying. and so many tears, i wish i wasn’t so narcissistic when it came to this i was hurting my whole family. listen mental illness is never a choice but i was actively shoving away everyone who loved me and being an asshole. and the worst part of all of this is i still wasn’t skinny enough for my eating disorder. and i decided to give in to recovery because one of my mentors pulled my mom aside, and asked if i was okay. that’s all my mom ever got “does ur daughter have cancer” “is ur daughter ok” “she needs to eat more”. it was a headache another breaking point was seeing my younger sister cry. I still struggle with my ed and i’ve still got along way to go to recovery i’ve had this awful disease almost all my life and i’ve had many relapses however this time, ik it will stick, cause this time i want to recover i don’t want to be so sad anymore. i don’t wanna let this be the rest of my life.

Im not here to force u into recovery. i cant do that and i support u if u aren’t ready to recover that being said here’s some important things to be aware of

THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR:

-Consuming fewer calories than you need means that the body breaks down its own tissue to use for fuel. Muscles are some of the first organs broken down, and the most important muscle in the body is the heart. Pulse and blood pressure begin to drop as the heart has less fuel to pump blood and fewer cells to pump with. The risk for heart failure rises as the heart rate and blood pressure levels sink lower and lower.

-Some physicians confuse the slow pulse of an athlete (which is due to a strong, healthy heart) with the slow pulse of an eating disorder (which is due to a malnourished heart). If there is concern about an eating disorder, consider low heart rate to be a symptom.

-Purging by vomiting or laxatives depletes your body of important chemicals called electrolytes. The electrolyte potassium plays an important role in helping the heart beat and muscles contract, but is often depleted by purging. Other electrolytes, such as sodium and chloride, can also become imbalanced by purging or by drinking excessive amounts of water. Electrolyte imbalances can lead to irregular heartbeats and possibly heart failure and death.

-Reduced resting metabolic rate, a result of the body’s attempts to conserve energy.

-Slowed digestion known as gastroparesis. Food restriction and/or purging by vomiting interferes with normal stomach emptying and the digestion of nutrients, which can lead to:

1.) Stomach pain and bloating

2.) Nausea and vomiting

3.) Blood sugar fluctuations

4.) Blocked intestines from solid masses of undigested food

5.) Bacterial infections

6.) Feeling full after eating only small amounts of food

-Constipation, which can have several causes:

1.) Inadequate nutritional intake, which means there’s not enough in the intestines for the body to try and eliminate

2.) Long-term inadequate nutrition can weaken the muscles of the intestines and leave them without the strength to propel digested food out of the body

3.) Laxative abuse can damage nerve endings and leave the body dependent on them to have a bowel movement

-Binge eating can cause the stomach to rupture, creating a life-threatening emergency.

-Vomiting can wear down the esophagus and cause it to rupture, creating a life-threatening emergency.

-Frequent vomiting can also cause sore throats and a hoarse voice.

-Both malnutrition and purging can cause pancreatitis, an inflammation of the pancreas. Symptoms include pain, nausea, and vomiting.

-Intestinal obstruction, perforation, or infections, such as:

1.) Mechanical bowel problems, like physical obstruction of the intestine, caused by ingested items.

2.) Intestinal obstruction or a blockage that prevents food and water from passing through the intestines.

3.) Bezoar, a mass of indigestible material found trapped in the gastrointestinal tract (esophagus, stomach, or intestines).

4.) Intestinal perforation, caused by the ingestion of a nonfood item that creates a hole in the wall of the stomach, intestines or bowels.

5.) Infections such as toxoplasmosis and toxocariasis may occur because of ingesting feces or dirt.

6.) Poisoning, such as heavy metal poisoning caused by the ingestion of lead-based paint.

-Although the brain weighs only three pounds, it consumes up to one-fifth of the body’s calories. Dieting, fasting, self-starvation, and/or erratic eating means the brain isn’t getting the energy it needs, which can lead to obsessing about food and difficulties concentrating.

-Extreme hunger or fullness at bedtime can create difficulties falling or staying asleep.

-The body’s neurons require an insulating, protective layer of lipids to be able to conduct electricity. Inadequate fat intake can damage this protective layer, causing numbness and tingling in hands, feet, and other extremities.

-Neurons use electrolytes (potassium, sodium, chloride, and calcium) to send electrical and chemical signals in the brain and body. Severe dehydration and electrolyte imbalances can lead to seizures and muscle cramps.

-If the brain and blood vessels can’t push enough blood to the brain, it can cause fainting or dizziness, especially upon standing.

-Individuals of higher body weights are at increased risk of sleep apnea, a disorder in which a person regularly stops breathing while asleep.

-Low caloric and fat consumption can cause dry skin, and hair to become brittle and fall out.

-To conserve warmth during periods of starvation, the body will grow fine, downy hair called lanugo.

-Severe, prolonged dehydration can lead to kidney failure.

-Inadequate nutrition can decrease the number of certain types of blood cells.

-Anemia develops when there are too few red blood cells or too little iron in the diet. Symptoms include fatigue, weakness, and shortness of breath.

-Malnutrition can also decrease infection-fighting white blood cells.

ok now that that’s done.

logic goes out the window when dealing with an ed so if u don’t want help or aren’t ready to recovery here’s some

safety tips:

-try and eat 500 cals (min) a day ur brain needs that much just to function

-don’t cut out carbs and fats

-take multivitamins

-talk to someone about ur ed that u can call in case there’s an emergency

-WATER WATER WATEER

-keep a granola bar with u in case u feel faint

-use ur hand when vomiting not something else

-if u purge drink water with electrolytes

-try to take rest days

-take meds the furthest time from purging

-if u struggle with not exercising walk

-get ur bloodwork checked

-try not to use laxatives days in a row

BUT I DONT CARE IF THIS IS HOW I DIE I WANT THIS TO BE MY SUICIDE

yeah so u most likely won’t die especially if ur young. there’s usually something that will stop u:

1.) yea you’ll die in ur 20s or 30s from a heart attack. thinking about food, having no personality or friends, you’ll be thinking about what u ate when u ate and how much u ate

2.) MOST LIKELY you’ll get hospitalized or forced into some form of treatment. and trust me the more u resist the more u stick ur nose up. the more they feed u. the longer ur stuck refeeding. you’ll get forced in and out of treatment stuck in a viscous cycle dying from a heart attack or organ failure

3.) you’ll die from gastric dialation.

very glamorous right ?

unfortunately i royally fucked up my body and most likely will never be able to have kids now.

If you wanna recover by yourself here’s some things to look out for:

Refeeding Syndrome Symptoms-

Fatigue.

Weakness.

Confusion.

Difficulty breathing.

High blood pressure.

Seizures.

Irregular heartbeat.

Edema.

For bulimia:

short term effects-

amenorrhea

anemia

low electrolyte levels

cavities

gum disease

intestinal problems

hair loss

dry skin

organ failure

sleep issues/ insomnia

long term-

diabetes

brittle bones

reproductive difficulties

Anyways :)

i cannot force u to recover but pls be safe while engaging in disordered behavior ur valid even if u don’t believe u are

and every single one of u deserves treatment and u are sick enough ilyyy pls take care

forehead kisses lovely’s xx <333

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hezuart · 3 years

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That anaversary aizen looks absolutely fabulous, he looks like a figure skater xd.

I heard along time ago the last arc of the anime was being animated finally bc they pulled a 90s sailor moon were the last season was not either animated or dubbed untill decades later.

I recall near the end of the current 366 episodes there was an episode were the creapy demon ppl woke up in hell and we're all bitter, and there was the other guy who was like, iM cOmEiNg FoR u IChIgO, but then is never mentioned again after and I'm like,why? Why is lt there just plopted randomly into a different arc that seams unrelated.

And locking aizen up underground seems ok, but It deff won't hold, and he will. Escape, and he will kill, you either need that one spell from star, dubbed, the darkest spell of moon the undaunted, a powerfull dark spell that killed immortal beings, that came from best character, eclipsa, the queen of darkness.

We need that.

Or stick him I'm crystal like eclipsa was in star. Is there no one who could trap him in ice or crystal for all eternity.

How about throw him into the centre of a volcano trapped and caged , forverr being killed by heat?

I assume there's space travel, send I'm into a black whole, were a black whole don't fuckin care if your immortal or fat, you will die

Yes, I love anniversary Aizen. His original octopus-butterfly hollow design was ugly so I'm glad he's back to being the fashion icon he is.

Locking Aizen up underground once is one thing, doing it twice after saying he got more powerful by just sitting there, and he escaped to battle the Quincy Soul King God... is another. I think he should have escaped at the end of the Quincy arc. That is the only feasibility.

I heard the anime is coming back for the Quincy arc as well, but because of COVID its probably going to be delayed. (I'm not gonna watch it until the Rain section of the arc then I'm dipping out. I'm only here for Zangetsu)

and funny that you mention that hell scene in the manga :)

-> spoilers for the new BLEACH 73 page anniversary chapter / thoughts/critique on it

So hey you had a premonition! Syazel .... returned? And his hole is outside of his body??? for some reason???

(I didn't understand the explanation or why / how that happens and what that means for the hollow)

And my friend and I were laughing because out of ALL the things. Kubo could do in this anniversary. He gave Syazel his dick back after going to hell. That is iconic. (that's where his hole was located, and now that its not on his body ... well...) This is the funniest thing Kubo has EVER pulled. Kudos to you, sir.

The entire internet is freaking out over Ukitake being in hell. Honestly Kubo has done far worse, and we've established that Soul Society is a corrupt system that hasn't changed, so I'm not surprised he would pull something like this.

At the same time, Kubo 1. cheated his audience. 2. continues to prove me right that he cannot bring himself to kill his characters

1. Hollows who have commit murder in their human life are sent to hell. Syazel and Aaorniero are two of these hollows, and yet, when they are killed, there is NO gates of hell scene. We see them there later in the hell chapter (which was more of a promotion for the fourth movie and I didn't believe it would hold any merit)

But the same goes for Ukitake. We never see the gates of hell take him. What, was hell late? Did hell's gates get lost like an uber before picking him up? It's bull. Withholding such vital information from your audience, not showing the gates of hell when they should pick up this soul IMMEDIATELY is ... I mean its a lie. Kubo lied to his audience.

2. Now we are told powerful shinigami are sent to hell when they die. First of all that sounds like a security threat. Wouldn't shinigami want revenge for that? Or attempt to escape? Why would they still hold loyalty after being sent to a prison of eternal suffering?

Also "Yhwach and Aizen" were the only ones keeping Hell's gates closed is way too convenient and doesn't really make any sense. I feel like Aizen should have deliberately gone to hell to retrieve powerful shinigami / hollows for his army instead of keeping it /closed/.

This is definitely a Kubo-doesn't-know-what-he's-doing-and-is -making- stuff-up-as-he-goes, but it might have a pinch of merit because of previous plot lines.... but either way, there's some big plot holes here, but again, its Kubo, so I expected nothing less.

Again, he can't kill off his characters. He introduced zombification, he introduced immortality through the hougyoku, he has Orihime and Hachigen's reversal / rejection abilities. He brought back Luppi, friggen.... a character who's entire upper half of his body was incinerated. Like.... come on. No. He's dead, you can't bring him back like that. That's a cop out and just weird. You're taking away consequences and grief.

(Also Yamamoto and Unohana deserve to be in hell far over Ukitake, they've done some fcked up stuff in their pasts unlike him)

Also Kubo's favorite character is Mayuri, which.... you're allowed to have a favorite problematic character. But Keeping said character alive and bared from the consequences of abusing his daughter, murdering innocents, and experimenting on your own squad members? Nah. Nope. Kill him, Kubo. Kill this dude.

(his weird attachment to Mayuri is probably why he keeps bringing Syazel back, since Syazel is Mayuri 2.0, but Syazel is the bad guy who does face consequences for his actions while Mayuri is not)

Also, I'm certain Kazui and Orihime are going to be THRILLED that their precious husband/dad is going to hell when he dies :)

(I just... Rukia teased Ichigo about leaving Orihime at home. She teased him about having a house wife who he leaves all the chores to. Orihime had two panels. She checks on her son who promised he would be at home and sleep. Kazui fcking breaks his promise like it never mattered to him and JUMPS out the window after pretending to sleep in front of his mother. ... An 8 year old... alone... in the middle of the night.)

Orihime is abandoned. She is not invited to SS, she is not informed of what is going on, her son leaves her.... I...

Orihime is a side character. She doesn't matter anymore. She hasn't mattered for a long, long time.

A part of me is glad she had little screen time, since she tends to waste it, but another part of me is embroiled with rage.

I've even see people try to defend this. "Orihime and Ichigo can't be together ALL the time, that's an unhealthy relationship!" and I'm like guys... that's not the point. The point is Orihime is not part of Ichigo's other life. Any shinigami stuff from now on is none of her business. She's going to stay at home while Kazui and Ichigo go off and save the world. Ichigo is going to be fighting by Rukia and Renji while Orihime watches from the sidelines, or worse, doesn't even know what is going on with her husband and son. Orihime is going to be uninformed and abandoned, because she has not proven she is capable of fighting by their sides(go on, @ me. I will fight this. She's a failure.), and also because she prefers a human life over a dead one. Which is ironic, because she married a dead man. Ichigo is a shinigami, and he will be one forever. god forbid she ever meets his Zanpaktou. She would tremble in fear at the monsters her husband harbors in his soul, especially when she realizes they don't care about her and would rather see her dead. (Zangetsu would absolutely kill Orihime. Not sure about Kazui, but Orihime has not accepted Zangetsu, she does not like either of them, and the feeling is assuredly mutual.) frick now I want to make a comic about this

Also still frustrated over Zangetsu's shikai / bankai regression. Kubo once again lied to his audience. Ichigo has no bankai. How ridiculous is that? The main character of BLEACH doesn't have a bankai. Insulting.

(RIP to Chad. He doesn't exist anymore. He's just gone. No mention, no cameo. Gone.)

Kazui is a demon child. That character from the novels? Hikone? They're the same character. Literally same personality, same power level. Its worse because Kazui is a liar. He constantly goes behind his parents' backs. He can summon creepy fish and creepy eyeballs and open portals like is ANYONE aware of this? How has SS not kidnapped Ichigo's son and experimented on him / locked away his powers yet? All substitute shinigami require a reiatsu controlling / spy badge to keep them in line. Where is Kazui's? Or is he just a weird fullbringer?

I was worried Kubo was gonna try and pull a knock off Boruto but luckily he kept the focus on Ichigo and the others. But that being said, Ichika and Kazui are now just... sort of there? Kazui was kinda just.... having his own adventure that doesn't matter to the plot at hand, and Ichika had some nice characterization at first but she just hid behind her dad the whole time.

I have a feeling Kazui is gonna step in at the last minute or do some major behind the scenes thing that indirectly interferes with the main plot so no one will realize how powerful and dangerous he actually is. Its sad because Ichika is the superior character in personality and likability, but she clearly is not going to have a bigger part in this.

Ichigo having a normal life after everything still feels extremely boring and uncomfortable to me. Everyone's like 'I'm still bLEACH!" but.... BLEACH just... doesn't feel like BLEACH anymore. It hasn't for a while now.

~~~

There's two new shinigami characters. Didn't care for the girl, but the Sign Language kid who talks to animals is adorable ... however... he just reminds me of Chad, and I just... it hurts knowing Chad has essentially been deleted. Chad and Orihime are officially benched. They have chosen the human world, and Orihime has given Ichigo his spawn so she has no more use/purpose to him anymore... ////sigh

~~~

Also. This is claimed to be a new "arc". So is the BLEACH manga coming back? What is happening. I thought Kubo was tired and didn't want to do BLEACH anymore. I thought Shounen Jump cut him off. People made so many excuses for Kubo and why the past two arcs have been so badly written the past 6 years and now almost everything they've attempted to defend him with has been revoked.

BLEACH is going to continue to screw up its plot lines and characters, so Its probably best for it to stay dead but I've seen a lot of Kubo stans drooling over this content, they're desperate for BLEACH's return, but its already given out all its possible revelations. There's really nothing else to top here. It's just going to make things up as it goes along ,and I'm not really here for half-assed writing like that, especially since the damage of rushing the previous manga has already been done. Kubo and Shounen Jump are riding off a money nostalgia. None of this was planned.

Honestly though.... overall feeling of this chapter, not as bad as it could have been.

Syazel stole the spotlight, and he's my friend's favorite character, so that's all that really matters.

#bleach #bleach spoilers #spoilers #text post #anti bleach 686 #anti ichihime #ask #tite kubo #technically anti renruki too but #ichihime destroys the plot more than renruki #renruki feels like an after thought #they're only together for kazui and ichika's existence #but if these two are lacking in use if BLEACH were to continue then why have them at all #even tho ive tagged this as anti ichihime #interestingly enough there is no ichihime interaction or really mention at all in this chapter

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dreamii-yume · 3 years

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SPOILERSSS for Twisted Wonderland Chapter 6 : 1-16!!!

*rubs hands* aight it wont take long before genshin has me in its gacha hell grasp again, I just barely escaped this time— NOW ITS TIME TO SEE THE BOIS CHAPTER 6 omg— wtf happened last time lol it’s been too long

So, no voice over because of some problems which is understandable but— meh I don’t feel like reading lol So I’m watching otome ayui translations this time, because im that one dumbass student who skipped kanji class and now i cant read without sounding like im five _:(´ཀ`」 ∠): “what up im yume im way passed 19 and i never fucking learned how to read”

Also watching Hanayura Kanon stream for the rest that’s not yet been translated lol Because he’s very good at voice acting for the characters and he’s funny af lol

- OKAY OKAY— WTF HAPPENED EXPLAIN

- Fun fact : I haven’t watched Hercules yet so I legit don’t know what’s about to come lol

- Aw, that’s cute— We called over Ace and Deuce late at night AND THEY REALLY CAME OVER AAAAA

- I forgot how fckin pure their friendship is _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

- Aight, so we actually have a huge-ass scratch from feral Grim lol That’s just fantastic, isn’t it

- FINALLY— We’re talking about Mickey and the stones my monster cat has been eating with Crowley AAAAA

- “Yeah there’s this bitch called mickey and i took his photo—“

- WE’RE FINALLY TALKING ABOUT THIS. AFTER 6 CHAPTERS.

- Bruh this crystal of blot sounds really dangerous why are we discussing this just now

- Speaking of this crystal, Crowley— you were looking for this crystal in chap one and when we asked you about wtf you’re trying to find you just went— “oH itS NothING.”

- I SUPPOSED ITS NOT NOTHING NOW IS IT

- I didnt see you searching for crystals after every chapter mr. crowley where were you 👁👄👁 dont you think it was weird that you didnt see a single one after like— five blotting incidents

- Oh so its rare i see— BRUH R U SURE ABOUT THAT grim literally found one every single chap LMAO

- Okay okay— see, he may be violent but listen— you aint gonna throw out my fucking cat okay

- Wh— THERE WAS A FESTIVAL!? Im dumb so its not just VDC LOL

- Listen LISTEN— GRIM IS FINE. HOLD UP— NO NEED TO THROW HIM OUT JUST LET ME HAVE ANOTHER LOOK AT HIM

- Aww, Ace and Deuce looked pissed about it too AAAAHH THE TRUE DEFINITION OF THE BOIS

- BRUH NO— ALL THE DORM LEADERS TO GO AND CAPTURE GRIM?? HE’LL DIE

- CROWLEY PLS— WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS, HONEY

- #Grimportectionsquad

- “It’s bout time for them to come” Who?

- FUCKING— CROWLEY STOP SAYING ITS NOTHING— This is why this school is so fucked, you never tell us anything ahead of time _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

- Aight he left, Ace Deuce hurry help me what you guys got

- He may be a monster but see— the worst he did is eat the whole tuna stack SO PLS HES STILL BABY AND I LOVE HIM

- THATS RIGHT DEUCE MY MAN GRIM CAN DO NO BAD I SWEAR

- HE WOULDNT EVER AGAIN I SWEAR

- Ace ヽ(；▽；)ノ The character development— im so proud of you, son

- THIS IS THE BOISSS— LETS GOOOO

- Fuck this is so beautiful— just me and the bois on our way in the middle of the night to find our MISSING CAT I—

- CROWLEY REALLY DID ASSEMBLE THEM DORM LEADERS AAAAAAA AT THIS HOUR TOO WTF

- BRUH WE CAN TALK

- Kalim Kalim Kalim Vil Vil Vil— Pls we’ve been through so much last chapter ＨＥＬＰ

- Leona…A big fat ｍｏｏｄ honestly lmao

- Ey ey riddle pls— dont make this any more difficult—

- Shut up azul stay where u are all you’ve done is nothing but chaos since you arrive so SHHH

- MALLEUS IS NOT HERE AGAIN LILIA PLS— where is he when we need him the most LOL

- Ortho, your bro where?? Also— SURVIVAL STATUS BRUH—

- YES PLS DONT HURT HIM OMG

- oh i forgot idia lives in his tablet LOL OF COURSE

- Omg he’s in the apple trees still looking scary as shi aaaaaaa pls kitty come home u just had too much catnip

- OH GOD 15m HE’S CLOSE

- “Starting operation” ORTHO WHAT TF

- EY EY EY oh good he’s knocked out sighhh

- Aight I know this has been translated but I can’t help but to look at the original japanese and im just— wtf is RTS and TAS idia i dont understand this advanced gamer otaku language

- But Idia and Ortho really do be speedrunning on who can fucking kick my cat the hardest LOL

- THATS RIGHT IDIA You understand me— Fellow cat lovers unite, Grim is very cute, he can’t do no bad

- …so can i have him back pls—

- Can we just appreciate the fact that these bois are willing to take the risk of getting their heads chopped off by Riddle by doing all this for us??

- If this isnt what you call true friendship then i dont know what this is

- Lol ambrose is going to appear in this festival again and crowley’s prideful ass is QUAKING

- WHY are we not allowed to see him crowley im sure we can handle it— We’re the BOIS. CMON

- Imagine if they just summon a fcuking— magic vet or something lol

- It’s the next day lol

- HAH ITS THE VDC LOSERS BY ONE VOTE SQUAD

- I mean the NRC Tribe— ٩( ᐛ )و

- VIL. what you have my queen

- Vil pls dont remind me that my cat isnt here but thank you for saying thank you i do not deserve—

- AWW THE ADEUCE SQUAD LOOKS SO SAD AAAAA

- Vil i miss the bad bitch but absolute oneesan energy but the apology— yeah are we gonna cry again lol

- AAAAAAHH why am i so proud— THAT vil is apologizing

- You dont need to maam what we had in chapter 5 was a fucking journey i regret nothing

- I swear if rook goes like— bitch that aint beautiful imma bonk him I WILL DO IT dont think i forgot what u did last chap

- Man i love me a man who can openly admit his mistakes MMMGH

- Rook i swear—

- Im glad that we’re not toning down ace’s brutal honesty lol

- BRUHHH I DONT LIKE IT WHEN VIL US TAKING ALL THE BLAME i mean what he said was kinda true BUT STILL

- Cheer up Vil, it’s not like it’s a complete failure anyways (；ω；) it was fun at least

- Hearing Jamil encourage Vil like this feels surreal BUT YES BOI U TELL EM

- What is this beautiful character development

- Ooff way to hit where it hurts the most vil my queen lol

- AAGH IT HURTS VIL RECOGNIZING NEIGE’S HARDWORK LIKE THIS— THE PRIDE I CAN FEEL IT ＣＲＡＣＫ

- Bruh we appreciate Neige’s impeccable smile in this household— REMEMBER WHEN EVERYONE WAS LIKE NEIGE’S GON BE A BAD BOI??? WELP—

- It was me, i was that person and i shall drown in apple juice for it

- Of course, the ultimate Neige simp already knows that lol

- Bruh the background music has no business being this sad　ｓｔｏｐ

- I hate it when vil is right sometimes omg— TRUEEE KALIM especially wouldn’t be able to stand properly on stage after knowing Neige’s own hardships aaaa

- NOO BABY DONT CRY

- Vil redemption arc??? 👀👀 you can help us cure our cat—

- !? Are we gonna get that money promised in that poster?? 👀👀

- WHAA FUCKING WAHAA VIL IS GONNA PAY THAT US??? THE WHOLE 5 MIL EACH??!! VIL CALM DOWN WHAT I SAID WAS A JOKE

- Damn vil is ＳＴＡＣＫＥＤ He really didnt want to owe anyone anything LMAO YES QUEEN

- WHA— KALIM IS ACCEPTING??? OUT OF EVERYONE HERE, I DID NOT EXPECT YOU TO ACCEPT THAT KALIM

- Kalim is making my heart go boom boom again baby boi ✨👁💧👄💧👁✨✨

- HE’LL DONATE IT TO THE RAMSHACKLE DORM BABY BOIIII

- …sumimasen kalim for having a very rundown dorm 👁💧👄💧👁 but thank you for being nice about it lol

- OKAY OKAY KALIM YOU DONT HAVE TO LIST ALL THE THINGS WRONG IN MY DORM PLS—

- THIS IS EMBARRASSING PLS KALIM IM SORRY FOR BEING POOR

- But this man be such a sunshine holy shit i cant even be mad about it lol

- AW YEAH RAMSHACKLE DORM IS GONNA GET A MAKEOVER

- EVERYONE BE DONATING THEIR MONEY TO US AAAAA Were they always this NICE

- Aight adeuce pls— y’all dont have to force yourself to donate my guys (´；ω；`) being friends is enough lol i get it my bois

- Find me a man who can make me feel like this the way Vil can

- Man if only Grim is here :’) he’d be soo happy :’)) you can have all the tuna you want buddy :’)))

- GRIM PLS ADEUCE IS WILLING TO TREAT YOU TO LUNCH BABY

- Bro this is so wholesome omg

- Im sorry but still up to this day, my understanding of Epel’s accent is still　ｌａｃｋｉｎｇ lmao

- Aight they be talking about how Rook already knew that they were going to lose from the very beginning

- The FORESHADOWING LOL The difference with how Rook said “What a wonderful performance” rather than “What a beautiful performance” sigh

- Honestly we gotta respect Rook’s resolve here lol man just knows what he wants

- Rook and Vil’s friendship lmao

- 👁👄👁 …!?

- EARTHQUAKE WTF How dare you ruin such moment—

- WHAT IS GOING ON

- EY WTF DONT DESTROY MY DORM WTF ARE YOU GUYS

- WHAT ARE THESE ROBOTS OUTSIDERS KILL THEM WITH FIRE

- They look like something that belongs to the Ignihyde dorm HUH

- Oh bruh— Vil in his Dorm Leader mode is so cool AND YES I KNOW THIS IS NOT THE TIME BUT wheww~~ Vil YAS QUEEN

- KALIM TOO AAAAAA JAMIL’S 「はっ！」SO COOL

- so SO— the dorm leader’s have a protocol for outsider attacks like this 👁👄👁 OMG THEY’RE SO HOT

- They don’t seem like our bois anymore aaa just pure professionalism at this point—

- GOD I FORGOT HOW COOL THEY ARE OMG

- HEEEYYY OUR DORM IS GETTING DESTROYED WTF ARE THESE GUYS’ PROBLEM

- We were just talking about renovating it too wtf

- AAAAAHHH HOW DARE YOU— VIL R YOU OK

- Bruh i dont know what is going on but dont touch my man’s face

- They’re targetting Vil and Jamil WHY— overblot men!!??? WHERE ARE YOU— GIVE THEM BACK

- I didnt understand what epel said here lmao BUT—!?

- THEY HAVE GRIM TOO FUCK HE’S BACK LET GO OF MY FUCKING CAT

- WHAT IS GOING ON DARLINGS

- BUDDYY >:’0000 Grimmm MY HEART—

- Are they kidnapping the overblot men?? What— the fucking absolute ｂａｌｌｓ on these robots

- God we’re getting absolutely ｆｕｃｋｅｄ in here

- AND THERE’S A CAULDRON IN THE BACKGROUND LOL DEUCE WENT HAM

- BRING ME BACK MY FUCKING CAT— >:’0000

- I thought there’s going to be a festival not a fucking kidnapping event HEY

- Oh 👀 Rook pls help

- AAAHH SERIOUS ROOK IS HOT—

- IS THE OTHER DORM LEADERS CHILLING WHERE ARE THEY KALIM PLS BE SAFE

- OH RIDDLE IS NOT ANSWERING THEY GOT HIM TOO

- Oh ghad they got him during clubs WTF HOW—

- *nervous hornii chuckling* …angry expression silver 👁👄👁 im sorry

- AAAA Dorm leaders actually be acting like dorm leaders is soo cool i cant—

- Bruh the story is all chaos what is this chapter

- Are they gonna get Leona and Azul too what—

- RIDDLE BABY Jesus christ dont overblot like this again lol

- DAMN HE STRONG FOR A SMOL BOI THO

- Whoever made these robots wtf is their deal lol TO BE ABLE TO BEAT A DORM LEADER—

- …Bruh where is our horned friend when u need him

- Silver and Sebek theorizing with dorm leaders but they took Jamil tho?? It’s probably the overblot men they’re after

- Also Malleus is probably good so you two calm down lol Lilia’s probs having tea with him right now

- Okay, Leona how are you going to get captured KING.

- Omg everything is getting destroyed wtf

- AW LEONA SAVED RUGGIE THATS CUTE AND COOL AF

- Bruh leona these are material robots— cant you just turn them into sand lol

- Oh they do have some kind of brand cmon just turn them into sand pls

- WHAT THE FUCK

- LEONA-SAN!? WHY ARE YOU GIVING UP— OJI-TAN!!!

- OLD MAN WHAT—

- *hearing leona whisper his reasons ✋ 👁👄👁 🤚 okay sir im sorry

- Damn Leona acting like a real prince right now— it’s kinda hot 👀👀

- BRUH PLS COME BACK DONT TALK LIKE YOU AINT GONNA

- BRO WHERE ARE THE TEACHERS

- THE BOARD GAME CLUB

- Idia : “bro we just chilling be cool— MY CHESS PIECE“

- “Aight ortho what’s the situation” “ｆｕｃｋｅｄ＂

- So Idia of course knows about this— why does he look like he’s so done lmao me getting the feeling this isnt the first time idia has encountered this situation before lol

- Man i want to see azul in action too but mehh— Idia told him to settle down cries

- LOL WHAT IS THIS KARONE ROBOTS

- Wait— are they taking idia too?? OH IS THIS THE DOING OF IDIA’S FAMILY

- WHERE IS CROWLEY— THE TEACHERS, YOUR IMPORTANT STUDENTS ARE GETTING KIDNAPPED

- AH THEY ALSO KNOW ABOUT THESE STYX BITCHES WHAT— and they’re just letting them GO whaaat

- Sounds to me that this must be idia’s family taking care of the overblotting students?? Like to protect Idia or something?? I DONT—

- “Gather all the dorm leaders” No, sir, they’re already gone besides my sunshine and the horn boi

- Malleus??? 👁👄👁 TSUNOTAROU

- Pls kill the robots they destroyed my place

- AAH UPSIDE DOWN LILIA long time no see lol

- Bruhh the diasomnia students are so lucky to have Malleus as a dorm leader omg

- BRUH LILIA’S RINGTONE IS SO CUTE LMAO

- Kalim sounds so desperate im so sad

- ARE WE— ARE WE GONNA MEET MALLEUS AGAINNN

- Bruh they just goku teleported their way out of the dorm lol

- AAAAHH EVERYONE IS HERE THIS IS SO FUN

- Wait jack is not here lol did they just forget about him wtf

- Oh shit we here too i did not know LMAO

- S-So are we just gonna..continue school like— like these styx bitches didnt just ruin half the school, my dorm, injure my bois, and took my cat or…???

- GASP AAAA STYX IS A BLOT RESEARCH FACILITY WHAAAT

- So that’s why leona and idia be like bro this is not worth it

- O-Oh yeah— they…they didnt know that Vil overblot— PFFT

- Malleus pls information who are you talking about—

- WHO— LILIA MALLEUS OH NO

- Ey, overblot squad are assembled lol this looks so dangerous

- LMAOO Riddle was sleeping on Leona’s lap for three hours THATS SO CUTE

- Where the fck did they take them, ITS CRAMPED AF

- Bro they’re just exposing Vil and Jamil’s overblot that’s supposed to be a SECRET LOL

- Oji-tan can sound so wise and reliable like this if he really tried lol sugar daddy energy

- Wtf these guys never thought that idia was from a big shot family??? They thought it was just coincidence that they had the same family name PFFT

- AZUL AAAA He was right there my guy BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY MAN

- oh. They finally opened— isn’t this the ignihyde dorm what

- WHAT THE FU— IDIA

- Bro— WHAT WAS THAT IT WAS IDIA ALL ALONG???

- WHAT IS THIS CHAPTER

This chapter is a fucking roller coaster like— literal 0 to 100 ＱＵＩＣＣ From having a moment with Vil and the bois to a FUCKING TERRORIST ATTACK LMAO IM HYPED FOR NEXT CHAP—

It’s been so long, I hope they released the next part soon (๑>◡<๑) I forgot how fine these men are lol at least I want to hear their voices again 👁👄👁

#twisted wonderland #spoilers #chapter 6

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inkykeiji · 2 years

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hey clari! i hope this doesn’t sound weird but i just wanted to say i’m so proud of you for responding to so many asks lately! i can see your progress nd i am so proud of u n i really hope i can make the same progress one day as well. for a loooong while now i’ve been repeating the same negative cycle and it’s so hard to just get out of it. every time i feel like i’m making progress something happens and i start all over again….(n it’s really fucking annoying!!!!) but i’m still trying!!! :/

i’m still working out the kinks of finding a good and mellow-paced daily pattern for myself but everything seems like too much lol nd i cant muster up the energy to do the bare minimum most of the time….i was wondering (if you’re ok with it) if you could share your daily pattern or routine.

you totally don’t have to!! i just thought it was worth a shot to ask lol

anyways…i love u n im so very proud of u! keep moving forward!!! u got this <33!!

hello anon!!! (´∀｀)♡ fair warning, this answer is extremely long lmao

it absolutely does not sound weird, omg!!!! it made me feel so happy and warm and giddy inside to hear that, thank you so much for telling me!!!! <33333 genuinely, i cannot tell you how much i appreciate this message <3 i’ve been working really, really hard to get back to the level of productivity i used to be at, as well as just working extremely hard to heal myself and learn how to healthily deal with my mental illness.

it is extremely difficult to break that cycle and i empathize so deeply with you, anon bb :( it requires a lot of self discipline, optimism, and motivation, all of which are especially hard to come by when you’re in the middle of an episode or stuck in a rut or a bout of sadness/icky feelings :( i want you to know that i believe in you!!!! i KNOW you can do this, i have complete faith in you, and i know you WILL succeed.

i’ve been going through exactly what you described—beginning to make progress, and then something happening and forcing me to begin all over again—for almost a YEAR now, so i completely understand how incredibly frustrating that is. it’s difficult not to lose hope during times like that, where it just feels like its some sort of endless, vicious cycle, and we’ll never break free of it. but i have personally broken free of that cycle once before, and now, i am going to do it again. and if i can do it, you can definitely do it, too!

first of all, i want you to know how proud i am of you!!!!!! it takes so much strength and bravery to continue trying in the face of all of this, so already you’re doing incredible. that’s an amazing feat all in itself and i want you to give yourself a pat on the back for it!!! no matter what’s happened, you still haven’t given up, and that says so much about who you are, your resilience, and your determination. it’s such a cheesy saying but it’s so true: the ONLY failure is the failure to try. every time something happens, you can look at it as a learning experience. this week my therapist said this to me, and it really helped, so i want to repeat it to you, too: she told me that every challenge, obstacle, or mistake we encounter is merely another opportunity to learn, to gather more information and to use that information to make ourselves better. it’s a very positive way to look at it, but it’s also TRUE.

she really likes to use the analogy of a scientist testing hypotheses through experiments: every time a scientist’s experiment fails, or proves their hypothesis wrong, they have learned something, they have failed better, and they can take this information to help themselves improve in their next experiment or endeavour. if you can, try to think of your life this way, as well. i can give you a personal example: i often have the tendency to set myself up for failure by expecting WAY too much of myself right off the bat. when i was first trying to get back into being active on my blog every day, i had set a goal of ten asks a day for myself. it seemed reasonable at the time, because before i had been answering 10-30 asks a day, so i figured i could totally start out at this threshold and work my way up.

it turns out, i completely forgot to factor in the fact that i am much more sick than i was when i was answering so many asks a day. it was akin to breaking your leg, resting until it heals, and then immediately trying to run a marathon the moment the cast comes off, instead of building up muscle and stamina gradually. i realized this, and lowered my goal to five asks a day. it turned out that that was also too many at that current moment, so i have set my goal for one ask a day. i have put the bar an inch away from the floor, because at this current moment in my life, this is where it needs to be. it isn’t there every single day, and it definitely won’t be that low forever, but at the moment i need to set goals that are consistently achievable, things i know i can do every day without being overwhelmed or getting so scared i just don’t do it at all.

so that’s my first piece of advice for you. give yourself goals that are easy to achieve, things you know you can do. my goals for every day are: answer one ask a day, work on a piece of writing for my blog for one hour a weekday, work on a piece of personal writing for one hour a weekday, practice cursive writing for 15-30 min a weekday. they are all small and most importantly ACHIEVABLE goals. here’s the secret: more often than not, once i start, i actually end up doing more than that, because i feel like i can, or because i WANT to. but the reason why setting these easy, achievable goals is important is because on the days where you truly, genuinely cannot do more than the bare minimum, you will still feel this sense of accomplishment, because hey! you did it! you did the one thing you set out to do, and that’s so much better than giving up or not doing anything at all, even if it is really small. ANY progress is better than no progress at all. ANY progress, no matter how little, moves you towards your goals.

my second piece of advice for you is to set up rewards for you achieving your goals. this is where your self discipline really comes into play. this is something i used to do in university and it helped me SO much. i would make a deal with myself: read these three articles, or write a few pages of this essay, or do two hours of research, and then i will allow myself to hang out with friends/go shopping/watch a film/play a game/etc.

for me, right now, my reward for myself is playing genshin (LMAO). it is the hyperfixation currently occupying the most of my mind—all i want to do is talk about it/play it/write about it—so i make myself a promise every single day: achieve your daily goals, and you can spend the rest of the free time you have playing the game. if i am able to achieve my goals consistently every day, monday to friday, then on the weekend i treat myself to something small—i either buy myself gems, or this weekend i bought myself a lil plushie hehehe c: but the point is, make the reward something you really want, and hold yourself accountable for achieving it.

i went to a prestigious uni, and they really beat into my mind that i’m completely worthless all the time unless i am constantly doing work. this makes enjoying relaxation time extremely difficult, because i feel disproportionately guilty. i’ve found that setting these goals with rewards helps lessen this A LOT.

so anyway, these are the techniques i’ve been using recently. my therapist also has me check in with myself every single morning; she says its very important to track things like our mood and our energy, as well as other factors (sleep, environment, stress, etc) so we can catch burn-out before it happens and take those extra rest days when they’re required. that isn’t lazy, that’s called taking care of yourself and being kind and compassionate to yourself—and it’s a responsible thing to do. some days i really can’t answer more than one ask, and that’s okay, because at least i’m doing something.

just the other day i had to bring down one of my writing sessions from an hour to 30 minutes, because i was having such a terrible day and an hour just sounded way too daunting. but guess what? i began my session, keeping in mind that i was only going to do it for 30 minutes, and actually ended up writing for an hour and a half! sometimes you will genuinely surprise yourself, and honestly 90% of the time it’s only starting that’s the most difficult. on the days where i’m having a really rough time, i remind myself how important this is to me. i remind myself how much this means to me, how special it is, how much i truly DO want to do it, how good i feel when i achieve something, and that usually helps me push through and get started.

it’s so important for us to be flexible with ourselves and give ourselves what we need when we need it. i think that as long as we’re continuing to try, then we’re succeeding. adjust accordingly!!! for me, i know that being productive makes me feel really, really great, so even on those days where simply getting out of bed and making food is difficult, i still try to at least tick off ONE thing on my goals list. that way, at least i’ve done something, even if it wasn’t everything. it’s still a step in the right direction, you know? there are also days where we really do need to take a full break from everything as well, and that is okay as well. only you know what you need <3

you mentioned having difficulty doing the bare minimum; maybe your bare minimum is still set too high for where you are at this current moment. is there any way you can bring it down even lower? even if you have to bring it down to just one thing a day, that is STILL progress and that is still success, and it will still help you move forward and built momentum. start as slow and as small as YOU need to, anon <3 you are doing what is best for you, and there is absolutely no shame in that. if your current bare minimum is still too much and too overwhelming, bring it down even further. make it the barest you can. because doing the barest you can is still so much better than doing nothing at all and feeling all crummy because of it!

the last thing i wanted to mention is that i try to do something meaningful to me every single day. just one thing, it doesn’t have to be big, but it makes me feel good and it helps keep me rooted in this current moment as well as helps me appreciate everything i have more <3

waaaah okay i know this is SUPER long but i hope this helps at least a little, anon bb <333 i have so much faith in you and i KNOW you can do this!!!! if you have any other questions please do not hesitate to ask <3 i love u so so much and i’m so thankful to have you here with me!!!

#like 1800 words long #waaah i just wanted to make sure i was explaining and coming across as clearly as possible!!!#but anyway sweetpea that's what i'm doing at the moment <3 #i genuinely hope this helps you <33333 #ily sm!!!!!!!! have a wonderful sunday and stay safe + hydrated!!!#inky.bb #clari gets mail

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asmo-ds · 3 years

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I wanted to make myself sad and i thinked about Luke and a very maternal fem!mc so i thought this: what if one of Luke's tasks in his angel training is to be a guardian angel? But something happen in heaven and they select mc to be the human he has to guard, he was excited because he wanted to prove to Michaell that he was capable so he tries his best, but things get difficult because one of the rules it's that you can't have attachment to the person you are guarding, but Luke got attached to mc very fast, mc cares for him, show interest in the things he says and always tell him that she is proud of him, with her phrases like "don't worry sweetie, it was just a tiny mistake, all of us sometimes get a not so good grade" "want to help me make some cookies? I bought the ingredients for your favorite recipe", ''Dear, I admire your commitment but having so many responsibilities it's pretty tough, what about a break and some lunch? Are common. With time Luke see mc as a mother figure but Michaell its not happy about this, Luke's report show progress in his abilities, Simeon said that he is making progress (also here Simeon loves to see Luke this happy so he may have omit some details to Michael) but he always liked to make a quick observation himself and when he did, he did not like what he saw, to his eyes, Luke has become more relaxed, too relaxed (too relaxed in his mind translate to not caring about rules, and after the brothers incident, that its a behavior he doest tolerate, no matter how small it is) so he ask Luke to come talk to him, Luke was nervous about this but his nervousness sky rocket when Michael said to him "Luke, i expected more professionalism from you, you are mc's guard angel, she cant be taking care of you". It's worse because in his nervousness Luke lowered his guard and in desperation said "But mom said it was ok…" but Michaell shut him quickly "What did you say?" When look see the look Michael it's giving him he realise his mistake, but his mouth it sealed while he's trying not to cry, so Michael continue in a stern tone "Luke, you are an angel, you don't have a mom and you don't need one, mc's it's not your mom and she would never be, so, i suggest you that you better act like the angel you are and stops this nonsense". After this Luke come back to the devildom looking absolutely sad and with tears stains in his cheek, after a week of him avoiding everyone mc goes to him and try to talk to him, at first Luke doest want to tell her why he is sad (more because he also has that mentality learned from Michaell that "You have to work out your problems alone if you want to be truly capable") but after watching the honest worry in her eyes he cracks, mc now has a crying angel child in her arms asking her if she think he it's a failure at being an angel, after comforting him and addredsing this mentality she changes her mission into making him happy again, lots of cooking togheter, going to his favorite places and words of encourgement, but dont let her smile fool you, to say mc is furious its a huge misunderstatement, she wants to beat the shit out of Michaell, you can see her smile while decorating a cake with Luke but in her mind its only one thing "when i see him im going to make a fucking duster with the wings of that asshole".

ok i’m in the bathroom at work crying now bro

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literaphobe · 4 years

Text

season one of she-ra rated by catradora content

the sword part 1: right off the bat we find out just what adora’s all about. she’s a so called goody two shoes but she’ll lie to authority to protect catra.... ok lesbian lmao. but then we meet catra and she’s like “hey adora ;) how’s it hanging?” and we get it. we completely get it. oh my god. everything from the way catra talks to the way she laughs. adora never stood a chance :( we get a classic locker room flirting scene where catra teases adora and adora pretends she’s above all that only to be like hey cat gf is that a MOUSE which is very rude :( don’t scare ur cat gf or she will become evil :( oh wait. anyway.... their flirting gets cut short because homophobia walks in and separates them :/ before that tho she praises adora. adora who loves her gf so much ignores shadow weaver’s praise and says “catra did so good tho <3” and puts her arm around catra which pisses off the only homophobe in etheria. adora doesn’t really want to follow shadow weaver because she just wants to be with catra, and she even argues with shadow weaver about bringing catra onto the field with her. but she loses the argument because shadow weaver fucking sucks and has no idea how to be chill :/ catra finds adora after that and greets adora the way all gals greet their pals. by... pouncing on her waist. ok lol. catra is so proud of her gf getting promoted and says baby i love you <3 baby when are we leaving <3 except adora says catra’s not allowed to come :( so cat gf gets sad and runs to the roof. in response, adora gets a literal Grappling Hook to chase after her. adora doesn’t want her gf to be sad so she steals a skiff and they go on a date <3 but they’re so obsessed with control and play fighting with each other that adora falls off the skiff and finds out she’s like. god with a sword. i mean she-ra. uh, so adora fake wakes up in a dream and is like catra? :( because catra is the only thing she ever looks for when she wakes up (yes i am clowning. of course i know catra was the only person she was with but shhhh), and then she wakes up for real and catra is straddling her waist, which... ok. catra worries about her gf maybe being brain damaged so they cut their date short and go back to the fright zone. they go to sleep, and have their nightly sleepover, which means they sleep in the same bed :) even tho catra’s own bed is already on top of adora’s :) superb :) anyway adora dreams about her lesbian sword and wakes up scared. she smiles when she sees catra sleeping soundly in her bed however because uwu cat gf go zzzzz. adora gets out of bed which catra IMMEDIATELY senses because she opens her eyes right after and follows adora. because uh.... their friendship is just that lit and strong. catra is worried and wants to follow her gf to find this cool lesbian sword she keeps talking about, but adora makes perhaps one of the worst calls ever and tells catra to stay behind because she doesn’t want to get catra in trouble :( which is like, she has good intentions and all, but you should always bring your gymnast cat gf along when u look for sick ass gay swords. adora would know that if she wasn’t raised by the literal embodiment of gay oppression. oh well. guess they’re gonna have to fight each other for five seasons to figure it out. 9.5/10 because we got so much content all literally in the first ep. it’s like hey look they’re in love and they’re girlfriends who touch each other way too much. and we’re like noelle that’s really cool! will we get more gf content? and noelle said yes but also you’ve got a big storm coming! and it’s going to kill you!

the sword part 2: against adora’s wishes, catra gets in trouble for adora’s departure, and this makes catra sad bc where did her gf go? :( shadow weaver accuses catra of knowing where adora is because despite her raging homophobia she still knows that adora wouldn’t go anywhere without telling catra. and she’s right but just because she’s right doesn’t mean i have to like her. anyway... catra gets sent to bring adora back to the fright zone, and even tho shadow weaver threatens her in scary horrid ways catra is only happy to see adora again and once again pins her to the ground with her knees on adora’s.... yea........ and she’s happy bc she has a tank :) good for u catra we all love and cherish you <3333 anyway catra makes fun of adora because she thought adora got captured which... technically true but also not but also! catra sees a flower in adora’s hair which she takes to mean that adora cheated on her :( wtf :( and adora says no baby :( no i didn’t cheat on u :( and catra is like. ok fine. let’s go back to the horde. and adora says baby we can’t go back to the horde :( did u know that they were evil? im woke now. come be woke with me. and catra is like. wait. u just realized the horde sucks? did you not see shadow weaver electrocute me. did you think she did that for gay rights? and adora is like catra baby i didn’t mean it like that :( but it’s too late. it’s all very upsetting and i don’t wanna get into it. essentially catra thinks she can escape shadow weaver’s abuse by fighting the horde from within but adora thinks she can escape shadow weaver’s abuse and the horde’s evil by literally escaping the horde. u can see where both of them are coming from and that’s why it’s so sad :( it’s so fucking sad y’all :( they do their whole. come with me vs stay with me thing,,, and it doesn’t work out. duh it’s like ep 2 why would it work out. catra finds out that adora can use her lesbian sword to turn into a taller lesbian and instead of giving into her gayness and marrying adora right away her internalized homophobia makes her run away :( she thought adora doesn’t care about her anymore because she has new friends and can turn into a giant sword lady :( and it’s all very sad :( 8.5/10

razz: adora’s having trouble turning into she-ra. no one asked, but based on this whole show, it’s because she just broke up with catra and that hit hard :( it’s pretty hard to turn into ur superhero alter ego when you’re yearning. back at the horde, catra is also yearning. she is bitter because everyone is raving about how lit she-ra is and catra is like yeah she-ra is sexy but can we have a discussion about how she-ra breaks your heart. how she-ra makes you cry. how she-ra abandons you for new friends and doesn’t want to be your gf anymore? have we considered that? and everyone is confused because why does catra seem like she knows she-ra so well. didn’t you just meet her catra? and even tho catra is a bitter ex who’s angry and wants revenge she’s still like. in love with adora and wants to protect her. so she acts cool and doesn’t tell anyone that adora is she-ra. even tho lonnie tells catra not to be so feral because “adora’s not here to protect you anymore” catra still wants to protect adora. okay. yes the thought of that does make me wanna cry. what about it. catra goes and lies on their shared adora’s bed. and she sees the teeny drawing of catra and adora on the bed frame. it reminds catra of the break up and she scratches adora’s picture. she regrets it like instantly and starts destroying the bed. and she cries. she like cries real tears what the FUCK. and then SHADOW WEAVER WALKS IN?? rude much?? can’t a girl get some privacy as she mourns a break up with a girl she’s been in love with her whole life but technically never dated for real? 9/10

flowers for she-ra: adora realizes that it’s a pretty bad idea to break up with your girlfriend when you spent your whole life sleeping in the same room/same bed as her and she comes to the Very Shocking realization that she gasp! cannot sleep without catra! wow who would have thought! so she immediately goes on a search for a sleeping partner rebound... who is glimmer (sorry glimmer it’s her first time not having her gf) and she even sleeps at glimmer’s feet the way we saw catra sleep at adora’s feet. really makes you wonder if catra and adora take turns doing that? sleeping at each other’s feet because their internalized homophobia (thanks a lot shadow bitch) prevented them from going a step further and sleeping in each other’s arms... oh well. meanwhile, catra is gloating about being force captain, but she’s also Still protecting adora’s identity as she-ra. and apparently, drawing pictures of she-ra? that she hid from shadow weaver? is that what happened? i can’t tell if she drew that picture or not but the way it looks from the scene she Definitely drew that picture! hello????? anyway, catra’s still crying to anyone that has ears about how her gf dumped her, when really it was kind of a mutual break up that was entirely shadow weaver’s fault even tho she wasn��t there. sigh. i’m bringing this up to a 7/10 because of “it’s just a phase! she’s confused, i’ll bring her back, i swear :(“

the sea gate: “i’ve got something more important to do” and here we see the start of catra literally abandoning all other duties because she would rather go flirt with her enemy gf... she literally hopped onto she-ra’s sword.... she insult her gf....... she brag to her gf about achievement.... but she also want her gf back :( adora refuses to go back to the land of oppression tho so they get into a. really suggestive fight. and catra always makes adora leaving the horde out to be adora leaving her.... she’s like babe i am literally so sexy. why would you dump me :( i’m hot :( and she’s right but i hate them. can y’all just like. not be so gay? :/ it’s starting to make me a lil bit homophobic tbh! and catra whispers into adora’s ear but it’s kind of like an insult so she gets water slapped and is forced to stop flirting :( boooo 8.5/10

system failure: hm. catra wasn’t in this ep? damn :( it’s a great ep but it’s pretty hard to find any catradora if adora is delirious the whole time and catra isn’t there. but! drunk/high adora existing gives us an idea of what she would be like around catra. 1/10 for the potential

in the shadows of mystacor: catra’s face when she sees adora in shadow weaver’s spy cam thing... interesting. she also acts like she’s So Sick of the adora missions which is true but also she is lying. kind of annoying that shadow weaver would be like. homophobic. but when she’s messing with adora’s head in mystacor she uses catra’s voice and laugh to achieve maximum effect :/ which like. thanks? but catra wasn’t actually there so shadow weaver really full on gaybaited adora huh :/ adora eventually defeats shadow weaver and we finally see catra again uwu she ends up plotting to kidnap bow and glimmer but the line “if you want to take down adora, you have to go for the heart” is so interesting because we eventually find out just how much of adora’s heart is filled with catra... 4/10 on its own 6/10 if you let the heart comment ruin your life!

princess prom: ARE Y’ALL READY TO PARTY oh my god,,, this is it you guys. this is THE ep. so funny of adora to be like. i have so many plans for every single thing that might happen. i am GOING to spend the party getting princess frosta to join the rebellion. and then catra shows up and adora is like nvm. what if i followed catra wherever she went instead. which is very interesting! adora, sweet baby, why do you always assign yourself to fight/follow/chase catra? when according to her in future eps is actually a bad decision which we can infer from her saying stuff like catra knows my every move she will be able to take me down,, ok then stop hogging her all the time?? anyway. let’s get into things chronologically. “how dare those princesses pretend they’re better than you? just because you’re different? how dare they abandon people just because they don’t fit in with their perfect little lives? how DARE they take best friends and turn them into giant sword ladies who run off with people clearly inferior to you?!” catra.... u got sth to say there buddy? :/ u got something u wanna get off your chest? :/ u had us in the beginning but then you started to get really specific :/ what’s that about sweetie :/ catra’s coping mechanism for this is to put on a really hot suit and going to princess prom to seduce the shit outta adora? fucking genius. yes she also kidnapped two people but let’s focus on the ingenuity of catra’s plan to make adora hot and heavy and also somehow jealous the entire time. incredible. so, catra shows up at the prom with scorpia and adora immediately starts bickering with her about rules. she fails to get catra kicked out so she resolves to stalk her instead! and catra... oh catra... she puts on a whole show..... performing everything from popping a tiny cake into her mouth to circling around a pillar seductively and dropping a note into a bin that says hi adora >:3 with a drawing of catra’s face that she worked hard on!! and adora looks like a crazy stalker ex gf and everyone is like damn.... u ok? :/ but adora doesn’t have time to care too much aside from a little “haha i swear i’m not a weirdo!” look because her mind is just screaming CATRA CATRA CATRA and she finds catra creeping up to entrapta. but ofc catra’s not trying to push entrapta off the ledge! no! she’s using entrapta to make adora jealous :3 catra pulls entrapta close and says “she stole my food and then asked me to spy on people with her. is this what love feels like?” and it WORKS and adora has to pull entrapta aside and be all hey i know we’re not super close yet but the bro code kinda states that u don’t date ur friend’s ex :/ so could you please back off? and entrapta is like say what now? ur gf just ditched btw so adora goes running after catra again and surprise surprise! it’s time to dance! and there are romantic lights and music! and uh oh! everyone else has a partner except for catra! guess this means adora’s gotta dance with her ohhhhh noooooooo :/ “i don’t know about you.... but i am having a blast” i really don’t think catra was lying!! i am on the verge of passing out!! adora moving away from catra after saying “whatever it is you’re planning, it won’t work!” and catra, many dance partners later, slamming back into adora’s body to continue their conversation with “maybe my plan won’t work, but then again...” THE DIP!!!!!!! “maybe it already has...” oh my god you guys. what the fuck. like they get into an angry shove fight after this but the tension! the tension! and then adora LIFTS catra up in the air? real close? they get ice blocked by frosta after this, more specifically she traps adora because she shoved catra first djfjdjdjdjd,,, after telling glimmer to find bow catra grazes adora’s chin with her tail to remind her that she’s still here!! don’t neglect!! and catra says the iconic “it was fun distracting you though ;)” line that adora was clearly affected by because she memorizes it and says it back to catra..... years later. i CANNOT make any of this shit up. what the fuck y’all. the fact that these evaluations are so long bother me but i HAVE to call these hoes out!! moving on, adora runs after catra in a very dramatic chase/fight scene, and adora is very amped up on uh, hormones. she catches catra at a “dead end” and goes “hah! trapped >:)” which is such a stupid thing to say to ur cat gf who can jump very high, so catra says “you wish ;)” and it is just. everything they are saying sounds very suggestive okay why are they LIKE THIS anyway catra jumps up some floating ice and adora follows her up the floating ice because she’s gay and she will jump however much is required of her to chase her gf down ok!! and so adora and catra are now on some ice cliff where adora keeps lunging and they’re also kind of like dancing? and catra is being very ~smooth~ dodging all of adora’s strikes and hitting her in one move. that’s kind of cool but also don’t bully your gf :( come on catra :( not cool :( but adora doesn’t give up and they continue fighting, until one missed move from catra nearly sends her off the cliff. but adora thinks she’s hot and she’s in love with her so she’s like nooo catra don’t fall off this cliff ur so sexy aha and catches her by. the waist. not the hand! but by the waist. any normal person would’ve gone for the hand. factually speaking, catra’s hand is easier to reach than her waist. but adora’s a hoe. so, she grabs catra by the waist and pulls her in closer by grabbing! oh you guessed it! her chest! like she grabs her shirt but it’s the part of the shirt that was at the chest. what the fuck. they both get this look in their eye that makes it seem like they want to kiss each other???? hello????????? and like. very upsettingly we now know that they’ve always wanted to kiss each other so. that knowledge makes watching this scene even worse. they shouldn’t have become enemies if they were going to be this horny. they’re so distracted by each other’s lips that they forget they’re standing at the edge of a cliff and guess what! they fall off the cliff! what a twist! but adora is like i’m NOT going to die because i was distracted by catra’s lips, so she grabs her hair stick thing and stabs it into the ice cliff. she grabs catra by the hand to save her, not the waist this time, because holding catra’s hand is also gay so she might as well do it. too bad catra lets go of her hand and ditches her tho :( i would minus points for that except it wouldn’t make much of a difference. catra says “see you later, princess ;)” because she’s already expecting to see adora again.... good lord 4828473737373/10 thanks noelle! i died

no princess left behind: but i’m a buddhist so i’m back. we open with catra laughing so prettily looking at her gf’s lesbian sword. very cute. later on, when shadow weaver betrays catra and tells her to go pack her things because she’s not needed anymore... adora gives her this look? :( she looks like she feels bad because catra’s clearly still suffering under shadow weaver’s thumb. but let’s zero in on the most important part! catra dragging the sword and pointing it at adora, before turning it around and giving it to her. “this is NOT because i like you” ok catra i didn’t think that before but now i Absolutely believe that you did this because you like adora. and u can tell adora kind of is like. ready to start her whole “you can come with me! we can be together! :(“ thing but things are complicated and catra told her to Just Go so... it is a lot and we know things are deeper than just catra liking adora but we will get emo over that later. 9/10 that was a good fucking scene

the beacon: “she left me behind too, like i was nothing :(“ some people say this is catra manipulating entrapta, and they are correct, but also she’s like.. “oh adora left you too? mad kin :(“ she was deadass about to start a support group with entrapta and technically she kind of did! good for them <3 catra goes to look for first ones tech and adora goes to look for the beacon to learn how to heal and guess what happens! they’re looking for the same place! catra’s “on second thought... hey adora >;)” at the end pushes this up to an 8/10, but that’s just like the last five seconds of the ep so objectively the rest of the ep was like. 4/10 idk lmaoooo

promise: finally some good fucking food. catra follows adora into the beacon and has a little fun spying on her and enjoying her epic fails at getting information on she-ra. she also finds the first one tech she needs, because she’s a multitasker and she can spy on her gf while doing important missions <3 but also she gets caught and adora nearly kills her fksjdjd “hey watch it! >:(“ is so funny because catra??? u are trespassing???? but also uwu baby yeah don’t accidentally kill ur gf adora :( adora’s reaction is also very funny “catra? what are you doing here? :O” as if catra hasn’t shown up at 70% of the places adora has been, but the way she asks it’s like. adora is happy to see catra? pleasantly surprised? man she is whipped. anyway, adora tries to pull the Tough Girlfriend move and like, mildly scold catra for trespassing into a building where only one person (she-ra) is allowed to be in. but she still grabs catra’s hand and guides her to an escape path :’) she lifts up a giant door thing and waits until catra runs in to let go and run after her <3 chivalry isn’t dead after all <3 they get into a lover’s tiff as they run for their lives and essentially it’s like “babe wtf WHY are giant mutant spiders trying to kill us isn’t this ur house” “they’re trying to kill YOU this is why you ring the doorbell instead of running in secretly after i open the door!” “oh and how was i supposed to know that! why can’t you just tell your teenage mutant ninja spiders to chill out??” “they’re not house-trained babe :( i moved in two minutes ago they came with the apartment” anyway the angry spider monsters catch up to them so catra goes “adora? :(“ and that’s enough for adora to take Direct Action so she slashes the walls and ceiling of the room they’re in before grabbing catra to shield them both. she is NOT getting her deposit back but uwu anything to keep gf safe <3 adora transforms back to her usual body and she once again reminds catra that she’s Not Supposed To Be Here and she’s like “god now i have to like Protect You and it’s gonna put my life in danger :/ haha what are you gonna do for me in return tho ;)” and catra is like. “well good thing i didn’t ASK you to protect me” so adora is like :( —> >:( wait u know what??? ok u know what????? why are u here >:( how’d u find me?? >:( and do u mean any of this in a gay way?? >:( say it’s in a gay way right now >:( and catra is like. ur gay castle sent a gay beam of light into the sky. i saw it immediately bc im gay but i do NOT mean this in a gay way. and adora is like oh :( ok :’( and then asks about shadow weaver bc she saw what went down in the horde and she like. i think she can tell shadow weaver still exerts some form of control that catra hasn’t broken free from? :( and then catra is like haha shadow weaver is a LOSER and adora starts giving her Gay Looks and it makes catra scared because her gf now thinks she has a crush on her!!!!!!! how Embarrassing!! “ugh, i knew you’d be weird about me letting you escape” ok so why did you say that thing about not liking her? “i told you it’s not because i like you!” there it is! that’s EXACTLY what i thought you’d say you lesbian! and the way she says it??? she definitely likes adora???? she is so bad at lying?????? and adora is so smug about it like her Face plus her crossed arms and the whole “i mean, i didn’t ;) i didn’t say anything ;)” her eyes.... your honor she’s gay...... she’s like what if we were in my secret castle..... standing amongst the rubble because i destroyed the infrastructure to protect you..... and we were both girls....... adora was Ready to turn her sword into a Bed right then and there ok!!! it’s not me it’s Her Eyes,,, anyway catra starts being salty again and brings up bow and glimmer and is like hey where’s those idiots u dumped me for :/ thought you looooooved hanging out with them and doing everything with them :/ like we used to :/ are they not as fun to hang out with adora is that why you’re standing in this spider infested building with me instead :/ and adora suddenly remembers that she can’t just be horny and that she has to hold catra accountable for her actions so she’s like oh my friends? the ones who u kidnapped and held for ransom???? >:( and catra is like ya what other friends would i be talking about :/ like god i know she’s evil but she’s so funny take her back adora :( jk ik ur gonna start begging her to Come With You in like minutes u absolute simp. but before that happened catra was like fuck u lets Split Up >:( we already broke up why would we run away from spiders together huh? unless u still like me? but clearly there’s only one way for them to walk so they can’t split up just yet and adora gives catra this >:( look so catra is like FINE one last date and they walk away together. they go into this... dark room and catra wants to leave the dark room because she’s scared of ghosts :( jk but the door disappears and something scans catra and adora and light hope is like cool! time to show them memories that are specifically picked to make catra resent adora! which :( not cool light hope :( i get that ur a bot who’s programmed to serve the homophobic agenda but damn u were gay once too :( anyway they’re sent to a memory in the fright zone and adora gets Angry bc she thinks catra tricked her and catra is like i wouldn’t play u like that :( and she finds out it’s all fake so she’s like adora :D u don’t have to be scared or mad at me anymore! :D she goes to look for adora but adora’s watching a memory of them when they were six and being really cute. back when adora had the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair and only really cared about making catra happy and having her back. catra blinded octavia and insulted her and adora was still like: ur not bleeding ur bones aren’t broken and u picked a pointless fight with someone who did not provoke you in any way. where is she i will insult her some more. i love u. like damn adora really do be a ride or die girl huh!! she’s still like this but they both have too many issues to realize it :( anyway catra and adora slip into the catra and adora of their memories and begin running off together holding hands............ and then they Realize they’re running off together Holding Hands....... and catra pulls away because of her internalized homophobia :( devastating. they get into a tiny little fight over magic and kidnapping again and then adora’s face softens and she’s like catra :( why Did you let me escape :( i know i made fun of u for it before but i legit do not know if u meant it in a gay way. pls confirm? :( u could have gotten caught catra :( why did u risk it :( is it because you secretly want to run away with me and join the rebellion? :( and be my gf? :( she’s so caught up in her questions that she nearly falls off a cliff AGAIN and catra catches her by the hand because these girls are obsessed with almost falling off cliffs to their deaths and saving each other. don’t judge them their Intricate Rituals are THAT deep. and catra is like. did you really think. i would let shadow weaver erase your memory like that? and risk you forgetting our relationship? even towards the end when we were broken up and fighting each other it was kinda lit and i want u to remember it. and adora is an idiot so she’s like idk lmao probably aren’t u like evil now and catra is like well you have a point but also fuck u for thinking i don’t care about u,,, u never did have too much faith in me :( and adora is like can u blame me :( and catra is like ur hot so.... no. i will let my tail linger on your hand as a hint that i still love you. and then catra is like.... adora i know u said fuck horde rights but does that include our relationship :( u had good memories right :( of me? :( and adora is like um duh??? i miss you so goddamn much too oh my god and catra is like hey how dare you imply that i missed you even tho it’s true!!! get over urself! and adora is like not until you admit you like me ;) and they play fight again because the rituals are so intricate..... and catra lies and says she doesn’t like adora ok lmao... they enter the next memory and it’s catra and adora sparring and they’re competitive but it’s also flirty? catra pretends to be hurt to get adora to let her guard down but lonnie interferes and this causes adora to beat catra. which. yeah :( and after adora wins she does the good gf thing where she asks catra if she’s okay and catra’s not ok but she lies and hides away to cry :( and we get it babe we do!! it’s hard being in love with someone who you’re also resentful of because you’re raised in a competitive environment and always treated like you’re worthless in comparison :( but the simulation stops and catra is caught by one of the spiders and adora doesn’t manage to save her in time, grabbing her hand only to fail and have catra slip through her fingers :( they scream for each other but catra manages to get the upper hand on the spider monster, except adora charges in at the last second and delivers the final blow, further driving home the false point that light hope is trying to make :( adora just wants to protect catra but because of their upbringing catra sees it as adora always wanting to be the best and adora thinking she’s better than catra hence her telling catra what to do “all the time” which isn’t totally true but it’s what catra has been led to believe :( and also adora’s upbringing plays into it too because she thinks she has to save everyone and take responsibility for everything and it’s all just really sad bros :( what the fuck :( adora apologizes for leaving again and tries to convince catra she never meant to leave her and that she wants catra to come with her because she knows catra isn’t a bad person :( and you can see!! catra considering it!! but then precisely BECAUSE catra is considering it the memory simulation thing kicks in again and... hoo boy. we see catra and adora sneak into the black garnet chamber, after being cute and competitive and running around the horde swinging from wire to wire.... they get caught by shadow weaver and she specifically punishes only catra. and it’s so fucked because it puts adora in this position of guilt where she always feels like she has to protect adora whilst slowly brainwashing her over the years into believing that catra does do disobedient things and that adora can only escape that if she’s always perfect and taking charge of everything. and for catra.... it takes the mutually loving relationship they have and poisons it because shadow weaver makes it very clear that to her, catra’s only redeeming quality is that adora favors her? and if not for that she would be disposed of? and so it’s very hard for catra to find individuality and a healthy connection to adora which created unresolved resentment and issues and just... :( and the whole confrontation they have after the simulation ends... adora could never protect catra in the way she needed to be protected because adora was also a child, and receiving a different form of abuse, and it’s just. harder for catra to leave? especially because she didn’t receive a sudden destiny the way adora did and her issues with the horde were never limited to morality. and so catra is just. she has way too much to work through and she can’t see past her resentment for adora because the machine is making her remember all of it. and so she tells a half truth and half lie to adora about giving her the sword because she didn’t want adora to come back :( catra runs away from adora and is attacked by flashes of memory. and then she faces one last memory alone. and it’s the promise adora made to catra when they were kids, about always looking out for each other, and catra looks at kid!catra and thinks adora has broken that promise, still stinging from the hurt of adora leaving her behind after finding the sword and becoming she-ra. it was never meant to be like this but catra is hurting so she focuses only on her side of things and how she saw these events play out and she :( decides to kind of betray adora? it hurts So Much because adora looks so hopeful when she sees catra while hanging on for dear life, and she thinks catra will save her again but catra talks about how the sword won’t work for her because she’s never been the Special One like adora was always heralded to be in the horde. and having adora literally be she-ra just drives that point home for catra and she hates adora for it because this means all the other stuff she believes is true too. adora made her feel weak on purpose, adora made catra think she needed her on purpose. “every hero needs a sidekick, right?” and adora’s “catra, no, that’s not how it was!” hits even harder now because we know that adora just. loved catra. she was in love with her but adora was also like catra in that she’s a product of her circumstances and upbringing. she was the way she is as a means of survival. but the one thing there that was pure and true was that they loved each other.... upsettingly neither of them can see that. catra goes down even further into the path of evil and thinks that. being free of adora. is the thing that will liberate her and bring her happiness. which. she is wrong about. but she can’t exactly see all that clearly right now :( and adora begging catra not to “do this” which... means she’s begging her not to leave? “bye adora! i really am going to miss you” and adora’s desperation skyrockets but it’s too late :( catra doesn’t come back for her and adora cries.... and it’s just so insane that literally everyone who wants to control adora focuses on poisoning her bond with catra because that’s the relationship that... matters most to her in the world. when you’ve loved someone your whole life it hurts when they betray you and it hurts to betray them too, as we can see from catra when she arrives back at the horde. she essentially looks Wrecked and freezes up when scorpia calls her “the best friend ever!” but i want to make one quick note of her “personal space” talk with scorpia? like fjdjdjdjd you have never had personal space with adora not once in your life ok that’s reserved for the gf only i see. 10/10 i am so wrecked emotionally this is way too much but also because it makes me so emo i will give it a perfect score but nothing else. no bonus points because i do not want to reward putting me in pain!

light hope: light hope showing adora the memories that make her feel guilty and it’s the first scene where catra sees her as she-ra and walks away.... adora’s been feeling guilty over catra since the moment she failed at getting catra to leave the horde :( 3/10

the battle of bright moon: “catra will be leading the horde when they attack. i have to face her.” it’s so interesting how there’s so many pressing things at hand? the weather is screwy, the alliance is broken, no one’s coming to save them, the rebellion could be crushed, but the thing that is really bothering adora, the thing that she brings up first, is catra. “i saw catra in there. i thought i could get through to her, but all i did was push her farther to the side of evil” she sounds... so heartbroken about it all :( catra and adora meet on the battlefield and the first thing catra says is,,, u guessed it,,,, “hey adora.” and adora’s like “catra. surprised to see me?” and like damn they’re really so good at being enemies. the talent. the tension. impeccable. and then catra says nah i didn’t think u died and im glad u made it out alive. and adora, bless her soul, is like oh.... u mean in a gay way..... u didn’t want me to die..... for homosexual reasons?? and catra is like no! haha! i uh, i just wanted to kill u in a cooler much sexier way. and adora is like oh :( oh >:( oh >:’( and they get into a very heated sexy fight like catra wanted. and they taunt each other like. “i thOUgHt yOU weRe suPposED tO bE stRoNG” “aND i tHouGHt yOu wERe sUpPOsEd tO bE fAst” you know. very cool well crafted taunts. and like. they fight a lot which is kind of sad but also kind of sexy because their styles are like? similar and different? which is the dumbest way to compare any two things ever but like :( y’all get what i mean right :( we get one more Hanging Off A Cliff scene and this time adora grabs catra by the chest and shoves her against the wall, and catra is like cool! but u did this,, for what? and then adora realizes catra was just distracting her Again and bright moon is very badly under attack :( catra bids her adieu so adora can run back and fight. but she like. gets caught :( and catra walks up to her and gently caresses her cheek before adora passes out and it’s evil but it’s also tender? but it’s also evil i know i know :( all of the princesses come to help adora so she sends a beam of magic gay light and heals everything and then all the princesses send a gay tsunami washing over catra. the horde loses, and catra retreats in a skiff, but adora and catra exchange one more Look as she leaves... hm. 9/10

#text #she ra #catradora #spop #this post... is so stupidly long #its essentially like a recap shitpost #but i give it a score out of 10 #i considered redoing the whole post but :(#it is what it is:(#hope y'all like this #please at least find this mildly entertaining #i hope to god the read more thing doesn't break #because...... this is long apologies in advance #hope its not too hard to read

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shhhlikeme · 4 years

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Hello! I want to start off by saying you’re really pretty and your writing is amazing 🥺👉👈 Could I request a oneshot where the s/o of either Yamaguchi or Suga (which ever you prefer they are both my babies) get into an argument and the s/o ends up flinching out of habit during it, and maybe some cute fluff at the end?

Sugawara Koshi x Reader Angst Fluff !!!!

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A/N: Hello! EYEEE want to start off by saying im blushing thank you angel💖💖💖 of course you can. Request anytime I’m all ears and keyboard taps!

This is super fluffy so I hope you like it!!!!

Yams is my favourite but I haven’t written a Suga story yet and I have a little crush on him so I’ll pick him, yay! (Also, Suga’s voice actor in the dub sounds so attractive to me ugh)

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“Hey baby!” You walked into your boyfriend’s room that his parents let you into. You flicked the lights on.

can we all collectively agree that Suga’s parents are some Queen Elsa & Jack Frost looking mfs?!

Surprised because you didn’t tell him you were stopping by, Sugawara’s eyes lit up when he saw you

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” He scrambled off his bed to you, giving you a chaste kiss.

You can’t tell anyone this, but Suga’s parents secretly invited you because they have been worried about their son

From their perspective, Suga came home everyday seemingly drained and depressed

He would mutter a hello to his parents, go straight to his room and lock the door

You didn’t know this, because your boyfriend was completely normal with you and with his friends from school

He was his regular cheeky self that you loved

But you couldn’t deny his parents anything and you wanted to see your baby so you agreed to come over one night after school to kind of “catch him in this act” that his parents described

You scanned your handsome boy’s face and it made you frown

He did looked drained. That’s not normal considering school had been out for maybe an hour and you just saw him during last period looking chipper.

He had lines under his eyes and his shoulders were slumped/lower than usual. Not to mention his eyes betrayed him because they looked like someone who was really going through it, even though you could see that his spirits lifted with your entry

You didn’t say anything, opting to poke his stomach instead and smile up at him

for someone’s whose weak spot is his ticklish tummy, the joy from his laugh didn’t reach his eyes whole heartedly like they normally did

You tested one last time.

“I made you tempura, just the way you like it,” You placed the wrapped dinner plate you bagged on his dresser, gauging his reaction.

Koshi appeared like he was a stage actor when he gave you a big smile and said thanks.

Your heart immediately sank then, because you knew his parents had been telling the truth.

There was something wrong with your Koshi. Very wrong.

Ok. Here goes.

You turned around to lock his room door and took his hand

You gestured for him to crawl back into bed which he seemed genuinely happy about.

You straddled his waist, sitting in a position where he couldn’t hide his face from you nor could he escape when this questioning started

“Uh oh. You only sit on me like this when you want “to talk.”

You nodded. He knew.

Your boyfriend liked talking about his feelings but not when they could potentially bring down the mood of others.... and with this specific circumstance where he was able to hide his sadness from you so well, you had no choice but to jump straight into playing hardball.

“Shishi.” You used the embarrassing pet name you made for him and he slightly blushed.

Marry him, aight?

“Yeah? You okay? I’m listening baby tell me.” He looked at you with his shining eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

Suga didn’t miss a beat. He was well rehearsed. “Wait—me? This talk is about me? Nothing. Why do you ask?”

“Well why are you laying in your bed with the lights off at 4pm? You’re usually doing your school work at this time. That’s what you text me.”

Suga sighed. “I was just tired today, that’s all.”

“Shishi.....”

“Y/N, baby. trust me I’m fi-“

“Is it about volleyball?”

Koshi sat up quickly, cradling your back to make sure you were safe. He scooted backwards, making it so his back was leaning on his headboard.

“Can I please put you next to me?” He asked.

You mentally noted that he didn’t answer the question.

And that he wanted to get out of this “truth spell” position

So it was about volleyball. You ignored his question back and pushed forward.

“Did something happen? Is Daichi injured again? Or is Ukai quitting—“

Suga locked his jaw, looking away from you. “No no. It’s not that— I’m fine. I’m good.”

You couldn’t tell who he was trying to convince more: you? Or himself?

You pushed a bit further.

“Tomorrow is your Senior game, right? You, Asahi, Daichi and Kiyoko will be awarded for the years you put in, right?”

Suga, looking pained, gently moved you off his lap to sit next to him. He got out of bed and paced the room. You knew you were about to crack him but you weren’t too concerned because he needed to let whatever this was out. It’s bad enough that your baby was having such internal conflict like this. It was depressing him and he was dealing with it all by himself.

You stared at him and moved to sit up on your knees, prepared to deal the final blow.

“Are you sad about not playing, Shishi?”

The volcano that Sugawara had been trying so hard to keep in finally erupted at your words.

“SAD?! Am I sad?!” He practically roared at you loudly.

You flinched because it was the first time you have ever heard your boyfriend raise his voice in anger, let alone at you. You remember that he told you he’d only shown his team that side of him once during a game and they were shook, rightfully so. He was kind of scary like this.

“YES I’m sad! But mostly, I’M PISSED! EVERYONE expects me to walk on stage tomorrow and accept an award I had no part in contributing to?! I have been on this team for 3 years, 2 of those years as a starting setter and those two years accounted for bullshit seasons for Karasuno. The one year I sat my ass on the bench is the year we WIN! The year the crows got their wings back I AM SITTING OUT! No one wants to admit it but what the fuck does that tell you, me, and everyone, huh?! It tells us that I was the problem. I was the broken part: the gear that caused the machine to malfunction. The gear that Kageyama came in and fixed—2 years my junior. I’m pathetic, you know?! How many captains sitbon the fucking bench while I watch my best friends play the sport we all love equally? Then I have to walk around all day pretending I don’t feel this way because I am too busy stopping Kageyama and Hinata from pummelling eachother, telling Tsukishima to stop being so mean, mitigating Yamaguchi and Ashai’s panic attacks, Forbidding Tanaka and Noya’s anger issues and the reward I get for all it isn’t the luxury of playing like Daichi who does similar work. I get no reward. I pretend to be happy the Sugawara that I used to be. I’m not happy. The only time I take off that mask off is when I get home and by that time I’m so exhausted from keeping up the facade that staying in the dark until I have to go to school again and put the mask back on is the only way I can cope. So YES I’m fucking sad, Y/N. Sad is an understatement.”

you stayed silent as you listened to every emotionally charged word, letting him catch his breath

Your heart had been shattered around the 4 second mark of his speech, hearing the mental turmoil your baby had been going through in his voice

He was going through all of that pain...

And in spite of it he would still call you every night and listen to you talk about how annoyed you are at your little sister for stealing your shirt

He didn’t change for you because he didn’t want to stress you out and that made you feel like a failure as a girlfriend

After a few minutes of Sugawara calming down, you opened your arms for him invitingly

“Come here.”

Suga looked at you, obviously fighting back tears. Not being able to bare going through it alone anymore, he mounted the bed again, hugging you then maneuvering your bodies so that he was spooning you.

“I saw you flinch. I’m so sorry for scaring you.” He whispered as he kissed the back of your hair. “I love you. So so much, Y/N.”

You reached back to run a hand soothingly against the side of his face. You felt wet tears there and you repeated the soothing gesture. “I love you more, Shishi.....” You backed up so you were pressed closer to his warm body, reinforcing the fact that you weren’t going anywhere. “And Shishi when you’re ready... I can’t wait to tell you all the reasons why you’re the team’s and my....MVP, alright?”

Sugawara nodded into your hair before tightening his grasp on you.

———————————

A/N: This is probably the post I’ve written that is the most realistic in terms of cannon character sentiment. As an ex competitive volleyball player I believe this is truly how Suga feels :( at least youre there to cheer him up!!

#haikyuu boys #haikyuu!!#hq sugawara #hq headcanons #haikyuu headcannons #sugawara koshi #sugawara x reader #haikyuu fluff #fluff #haikyuu stories #haikyuu scenarios #haikyu requests #sugawara x you #sugawara headcanon #sugawara x y/n #haikyuu sfw

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icecreamkink · 4 years

Text

so i watched cobra kai all in two days and i have so many -

this show has so many cool and smart angles to it, but the same time.... its so stupid oh my god everyone is so dumb literally mr miyagi held all of the braincells in this whole universe

like i am but at the same time i am not surprised it was made like this, bc in hindsight of course there were hordes of ppl simping over johnny lawrence .... but it still amuses me that this is like... an Actual Official Thing

ok this will get long so cut it is

how much fun this cast has is super visible and i love it

i rly enjoy how the world was expanded ! i did grow up watching the karate kid movies, so watching how they progressed the world of the movies so organically was pretty cool. it rly feels like its the same universe

i fucking LOVE stories that are largely about a Thing. dancing ,skating, sports its just so thrilling to experience this all consuming relationship people can have with this type of activity? and martial arts are just that much more intense, so yeah, grown ass men kicking each other around at the lightest provocation and a war veteran caring so much abt teen karate is Ridiculous.... but i love it all because thats the intensity i find so thrilling

was kinda surprised with how much im missing mr. miyagi. first because, like everyone is so unhinged jesus christo, it just really throws into relief how much his character grounded the narrative of the movies. but also hes just a really great character

and on that note it rly Gets Me that the show itself aknowledges that and plays that into daniels angst and all the little ways they sorta weave myiagisms into the whole show........ im not getting emotional over this dumb karate dads show OK

related - i really miss hearing ‘daniel-san’ 🥺🥺

ACE DEGENERATE oh god oh no

they really went down the down and out johnny lawrence route huh. like i was always kinda bummed we see kreese choking him and then we never see him again in the movies, and while i love dumpster fire problematic trash himbo ck johnny, its like......................... actually really sad that his life turned out like this fjngn

everytime i hear ‘babes’ and ‘pussy’ i die a little inside. i know thats the point but i am a v cringe easy person, have mercy (ehe)

loved the way they are constantly drawing parallels between johnny and mr. myiagi of all people. hes the handy man of his building that has a bullied kid asking for help and eventually steps up to teach them karate, beats up a bunch of bullies for him, creates a friendship with said kid, estranged from family, drinks his sorrows away, surprisingly one of the least quick to anger characters (which says more about everyone else really but.... Well.), no schemes or ulterior motives hes just tryna vibe here.... oh and ofc magically heals miguel of is asthma apparently. the true disciple.. meanwhile daniel is his usual messy petty self even tho he wants to be mr myiagi so bad

also interesting about that is how miguels character is a parallel of both johnny and daniel at the same time

overall the parallels in ck are done really well, drawing comparisons and also subverting them constantly. theyre well thought out

THE PARALELOGRAMS

fr tho, the angle being explicitly the cycle of trauma and its effects and how trumatized adults in turn traumatize kids, maliciously or not, is so interesting

but! on the flip side of that, it feels like the writers are getting in their own way @ letting the characters grow. especially this last season. theres only so many times you can do "johnny and daniel are getting along but 5mins later they are (literally) fighting over some dumbass random issue" or "johnny puts in 20% of effort with robby and then gives up" before it gets on your nerves yknow?

i see daniel no longer talks like macchio ingested 15 shots of espresso before every take and idk how to feel about that tbh

interesting tension in daniel, as in, in tkk mr miyagi was there and daniel was frankly, kind of a lil shit, this messy petty spitfire hot tempered sassy kid,(johnny lawrence voice: just... stop being so annoying) but now hes the adult, and he wants to be mr. miyagi... but hes just not, and never will be to his very core and it shakes him and in a way hes trying to find who he is now that he sees himself in a position to be a not! cobra kai figure. i kinda really like that

plus how that relates to his cobra kai trauma. idk if the writers thought abt it Like That, i think so, but in any case, its interesting bc it seems like daniel has told everyone whod listen about johnny lawrence his Pretty Boy Karate Rival and high school and 84 cobra kai... But. no one seems to know what went on in 85 (or 86? idk) which was just so much worse

like ye og cobras were shitheads, but tkk iii is just two hours of daniel being emotionally and physically tortured.

like, the third movie is.............chaotic, to put it nicely, and many people ignore it, but the writers clearly didnt. daniels actions are, in a way, responding so much more to the events of tkk iii than to the first movie ie. johnny himself, AND. daniel doesnt rly seem to have dealt with that trauma? he never told sam? doesnt feel like hes ever told amanda? he doesnt even say terrys name out loud? freaks Out over kreese ? the way he reacts to robbys deceit? his FACE when he walks past the new "fear does not exist in this dojo" paint or kreeses photo? hmMm i sense Pain

his fashion tho........... disappointing. where are the flower shirts daniel huh we had one (1) shirt what a tragedy STOP WEARING SUITS ALL THE TIME . also the band ts/grunge bi are a look for johnny but part of me longs for the preppy lovable 80s bully chic johnny lawrence getups

weird that they never used that last moment of karate kid where johnny kinda... snaps out of his anger and hands daniel the trophy almost in tears. like “youre alright larusso, good match” “thanks a lot” that being their last direct interection seems like itd be perfect fruit for cobra kai but... they just dont. weird.

especially when, the FIRST SCENE they see each other, suposedly in 30+ years, the first thing to come out of daniels mouth is QUOTE "u still got those golden locks huh?" WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT DANIEL FUCKING SAN

also amandas immediate reaction "your pretty boy rival?" like. can we talk about the fact that daniel had to have imparted to his wife the very important information that his high school bully/karate rival was like Really Cute and Fucking Hot Actually

the writers Knew exactly what they were doing and honestly.............. power to them

tkk director voice: and billy was just so cute

also I was thinking that daniel sounded strangely fond in that first scene, and i wonder if he developed a weird affection for johnny on the grounds that of all of his Karate Rivals johnny was actually the only one who didn’t actively tried to literally kill him

i was actually delightedly surprised with how great the chemistry between them is, like from the get go i am Invested. their rl friendship totally bleeds through and its fantastic

. granted, idiots enemies to lovers friends is my Thing so i am biased ��

johnny lawrence: i am down in the dumps, i fucked up my whole life and my sons probably, largely in light of the trauma that the father figure sensei and the philosophy of my karate inflicted on me and all my friends. u know what i should do, as a traumatized, unreliable mess of an adult? teach that same philosophy to some other kids! what could go wrong!

but really i enjoy the setup of it. i kinda like that i watched it late because, season 1 was johnny setting himself up for failure in a way and it was exciting to watch it all go to shit sjfn

Like. his heart might be in the right place, but theres just.... not a way to teach something like ‘strike hard, no mercy’ and not have it fuck up a kid

case and point: aisha, miguel and hawk become annoying as all hell over that bullshit in the end of s1, even before shit gets truly fucked up

billys subtle panicked eyes when he sees hawk and miguel fighting dirty in the all valley was SO GOOD especially in parallel with the panic that is so visible in his face in the movie when kreese tells bobby to injure daniel and in the sweep the leg scene

seen people question wether kreese should have returned and i absolutely think he needed to. johnny needed to realize that cobra kais fundamentals are flawed, at the root, beyond kreese himself being a toxic piece of shit

also who are we kidding? we are here to see the tkk characters play on new playgrounds!

i get what they're doing abt kreeses backstory, ( also. cobra kai. pq eles caem nas cobras djjs sorry) but did it need to take up that much time? feels like they couldve done it in half the run time and developed some other stories better

martin kove has such an evil eye. i love it

love that we get a good follow up to kreese breaks johnnys trophy and tries to CHOKE HIM in the parking lot, which happened in the movie and then....................... was never mentioned again

“the gang is all back together again” aaaa u piece of SHIT

also. terry silver is definetely appearing ha ha ha PAIN i cant wait

seen ppl say kreese was too much of a cartoon villain like..........................oh......... sweetie........... u dont even Know

interested how johnny will fit into that bc kreese was simping rly hard for johnny here. like i did not expect him to be so adamant to have him with cobra kai ... under his control, sure, but he really wants johnny by his side despite already having control of the dojo and how will terry silver self appointed jon kreeses forever simp going to feel abt that?

like bitchs dropping by every episode like ‘joooooohnny ..... come bacc to me joooonny......... this ur last warning! for real this time johnny! i wont say it again! watch me ! im leaving johnny! im rly leaving ! im dragging a chair” and johnny is just like. dont let the door hit ya bitch it was so funny pls

and on that subject oof, johnny! doesnt! Know! he doesnt get that side of daniels cobra kai trauma. and i kind of.............. cannot wait for ck 2021 johnny lawrence to meet terry silver like. what a shit show i need a front row seat and popcorn (imagine terry tries some greasy charm and johnny just roundhouse kicks him in the teeth bc he just doest Not Have the Patience for This. glorious)

feels like we, as a society, should acknowledge that cobra kai will never die................ bc their sense of design is just chefs kiss. their name is COBRA KAI. they have sexie sleeveless black gis. theyve sneks. colorful leather jackets with embroided naja insignia, the get ppl thru the aesthetics. evil geniuses

the flashback cuts : masterpiece behavior

the other takes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the differente angles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CLOSE UP ON JOHNNYS FACE AT THE KICK

that scene of daniel and johnny vibing to 80s music in the car. just. oh my god. the fan wish fullfilment. no thoughts head empty.

the new characters! theyre .... good. but. idk. i really like miguel (save for the annoying phase mid s1 - end s2) and amanda, who is a damn riot and has some functioning braincells, but everyone else is

like dont get me wrong, i dont hate anyone,its not a jane and rafael from jtv situation, and i am interested and invested in their arcs, but i wouldnt say i like Like them, as in, personality wise

like, sams grappling with ptsd was rly gutting and i enjoyed that plus her slight rage issues,

which nicely parallel torys rage issues. torys background is all over the place tho so im pretty on the fence abt her so far

robby deserves better in every way, and i like how smart and cunning and surprisingly sweet he is

hawk............... is there i guess,

demetri is annoying in the best way possible,

carmen is sweet but. i just feel like her character is blunted to make the johnny relationship easier. like when shes furious with him after miguels injury but then forgives him like an episode later? and then convinces him to fight for the tournament bc she had a karate epiphany off screen even tho she was always against it? meh. feels like with the plot thiccening she was swallowed and now shes like a crutch for johnny mora than anything, which is disappointing.

aisha was cool and im kinda mad she wasnt in s3, especially bc a storyline with her tory and sam was like RIGHT THERE , but also... cant say i was super super fond of her... doesnt feel like we ever spent enough time on her

moon the bi icon,

overall its a good cast but the main draw for me remains the og cast

the tory/sam miguel/robby Thing. enjoy how theyre Narrative Foils and i like how their stories were so dramatically entangled but oh god give me a break with the teenage love square for the love of god. if u gonna put us through that at least have the decency to not make it so straight

and honestly some sam/tory miguel/robby romantic tension would even make more sense. just saying!

also im not sure how i feel abt the cobra kai: red miyagi do: blue theyre going with since some of daniels most iconic looks in tkk are also red. like it was a color they (johnny and him) sorta shared. i get it, opposite but complementary but idk... a little too fire nation and water tribe for me .

and like the cobra kai kids are so funny abt it bc their outifts grow progressively more ridiculously coordinated. its like do they group chat every morning before leaving their houses?

robby still sticks out like that tho. he went thru an athleisure/daniel san tsleeves phase and now hes back in the bandts grunge, but his color scheme doesnt fully blend with the other cobra kais. hmmmm.

LOVED LOVED LOVED both the okinawa episode and the cobra kais easy rider episode just such good good heart aching fun

bobby is an icon. he was in tkk and he is now ck hope appears more and more

tommy is like the most iconic background character. all his lines, freaking gold then and now. sigh :(

the framing in the okinawa trip was so good everything was so good

i stand by the fact that kumiko was the love interest daniel had the most chemistry with and shes is overall such a joy to watch, loved to see her again, idola, fashion icon

also tkk ii is good u guys are just mean

also really enjoyed chozens role in the episode, his evolution; i love that they introduced the pressure points (ty lee the blueprint) and! the honk + karate! cousins! absolutely iconic

when kumiko reads mr miyagis letters........ oh my god, my eyes FILLED with tears, it was so heart wrenching :(( tamlyns delivery was so emotional and lovely and its so obvious everyone involved in ck has so much love and respect for pat morita and mr miyagi as character, and i adore that it exists like this electric current through the show

when we were watching i told my sister i thought that ali would be miguels big shot surgeon and ngl i am so disappointed that didnt happen. hire me cobra kai writers

also the johnny ali daniel amanda chemistry? off the charts

AND the sassy retconning of daniel and alis breakup! LMAO ‘I HOPE U DIDNT TELL MR MIYAGI IT WAS MY FAULT’ HFDJJGNKFKSD

i am preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure back injuries dont work like that but oke

daniel and johnny are so good together whenever, like they never actually help the kids or get shit done and end up fighting anyway but its just so much fun when theyre hanging

JOHNNY LAWRENCE AND DANIEL LARUSSO FIGHTING TOGETHER

daniels “plan” on how to get robby to juvie was so stupid. literally were u TRYING to make him hate you. dumbass

parents at those hearing rly brave for ppl that did not do ANYTHING as their kids got involved in a karate gang war until now

“bullshit i heard u were the real bully!” i mightve screeched

this s3 ending was SO DRAMATIC omg

everyone is such a MESS go to THERAPY u unhinged motherfckers

also im sorry but uh. a richass neighborhood in california doesnt have some type of neighborhood watch? the larussos rly dont have any security at all? neighbors wont hear the sound of a damn karate brawl happening next door??? also wasnt tory all like ooo i cant go to juvie, my mom yada yada yet shes always running around town getting into fights even at the rich girls house she was kicked out of school for fighting?? ? ?? ?? ? ? ? ?? ? ? girl??

stop destroying the larussos house, its so pretty :((((

sam finding her center looking at mr miyagis picture... uwu maybe

robby yelling ‘U ARE WEAAK’@ johnny \as he is easily blocking him is like.... so funny and so sad to me. sweetheart.

also i know it was meant as ‘oh johnny pushes him and HURTS HIM’ but it just looks like robby runs himself into the lockers and IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY

i like that he and tory are the cobra kai kids now. we need ppl we care abt there to not revert to a good vs evil schtick, and this is the most engaging it could be... tho it hurts that these kids cant catch a break

ah yes "lets bet some real shit on the result of this teen karate tournament bc that is always a great idea" is BACK

so daniel saves johnny from kreese..... maybe johnny will save him from terry 🧐

and dojos unite ohohoho. lets SEE how that’ll work out

miguels face of Despair when the ck defectors and the md kids are bickering like 'this is never gonna work' : gold

also. Johnny Lawrence is gonna learn some myiagi-do karate AHAAHSJAKDFH

ive been waiting for this moment all my lifeeee oh lawrd

final thoughts! there are def things i hope the writers will improve on the next season, but i am very excited for it either way AND i feel like it has made me enjoy the movies even more and that is a win for a reboot/sequel to me!!

#m.#did i procrastinate watching this since it came out and only watched it now bc my sister nagged me to when i said we should #watch karate kid over the holidays?#and then binged the whole thing in two days??#mayhaps and what abt it #cobra kai #the karate kid #its funn #y bc like karate kid is a Childhood movie but i wouldnt say #it was like particularly special for me?#like i wasnt in a fandom or anything #but now.#i might be invested #maybe #talvez

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shyrose57 · 3 years

Note

Part 2 with da angst

2: Young Ranbob did not understand at all what was going on, infact he refused to believe he ever had anything to do with the sabotages, it was only when Dream took over completely and gave Ranbob enough of his mind to know what he was doing, did he finally accept it. He tried and tried to break Dreams control and get control of his body back, but nothing he did ever really worked, and the more he tried Dream eventually began to punish him, forcing him to stop. He felt aboustely awful, like a failure, a murder, and just a shitty person during all of this. His journal shows basically all of his mental decline, it went from normal, him recording special things during the day, to semi-normal, him expression concern and fear over the sabotages and killings (with some out of place words or sentences here and there appearing half way through, showing Dreams presence), to recordings from someone with obvious mental distress (misspelled words, extreme fear, showing fear of himself, hasty writings and drawings, very obviously out of place sentences (their neater than the rest and written differently, written by Dream), and meaningless words and sentences, obviously trying to say something but not knowing how too), all they way to flipping entries of when Ranbob is in control (sadness, despair, hasitly done, regret, and just heavy sentences) to when Dream is in control (Neat writing, stating "facts", showing a level of glee). Ranbob does still have it, he actually still uses it to record what happens in the groups and how far he's come. To the Gladiators its more of a "Hey I found this thing, lets read this thing." "No let's not read the thing." "Im going to ignore you and read it anyway.". The pictures are from the current ruined state of the City of Mizu, and pictures showing Ranbob at the fishermens house, struggling to walk and even eat on his own, though a few are from before Dream ever got a hold of Ranbob.

3: The way you just said "Causally drops some trauma on them, huh?" And "Traumatized gremlins" made me laugh so much. Its so accurate and made me just think of the brothers vibing toghere before I just pop in and drop tons of trauma on them before dipping. "Ah, damn, the opponent stared me in my chest." "WHY ARE YOU SO CALM ABOUT THIS!? YOUR BLEEDING OUT!" "Oh im used to this. Trust me I'll survive...probably." "RAN I SWEAR!". And "Ranbob when did you last eat?" "Uhhh, 2 days ago I think." "..." "D-did I eat too soon? I dont have to eat for another day or two max-" "Ranbob shut up and eat." "B-but-" "If you dont eat I'll tell Benjamin." "OK ok I'll eat." Ran thinks its normal to get stabbed often, while Ranbob thinks its normal to only eat every 2 or 3 days, and to not sleep for a long time. There is one particular hunter that's been hunting him the longest, they go by Raq and are the most determined to get Ran, though they don't plan on killing him, but rather kidnapping him and exploting him for pearls. It was a bit hard at first, Ran kept having to leave to wander around the City for a bit, though he eventually successfully got accustomed to staying in one place, though he does sometimes wish he could travel again.

4: A bit of everything, him getting violent and trying to run at first. But after that it fades more into what resembles a depressive state, with him refusing to move and crying while being lost in his head. He requires space to move around but be monitored in the first state, while for the second he needs constant comfort and physical contact. The aftermath was the fishermen and Jackie staying close to Ranbob for the next 2 days, while Grievous and Watson try to find Ran after he stormed off in anger and disbelief. Ran does know what a relapse means, but during the time he believes Ranbobs relapse might be something else (like his facade faulting maybe).

5: Not long at all, while Ran is carrying Jackie and Cletus makes fun of them as Ranbob is following him, Jackie quickly points out how Ranbob is like a lost puppy, and the same thing is basically happening to the two of them, but showed different ways. (The brothers making sure their family is safe by sticking close to them).

6: By the time they travel to Subbin, Ranbob has gained like 80 pounds and is a way more healthy weight and looks much more healthier than when the fishermen first found him.

7: Their usually either getting materials, looking around the area/exploring, being taught things by someone, or sleeping. Charles was the one who revived the nickname! He called him that when trying different tactics to calm him down from a nightmare, Ranbob immediately froze and after a while started to cry, Charles panicked but Ranbob quickly comforted him, saying he just hasn't heard Bobby used in such a long time and brings back both incredibly happy and incredibly sad memories. And with permission, Charles starts using it more. Ran also freezes when hearing it, immediately going ridged and almost ripping a map he has in his hands, when asked by Grievous what was wrong, he just growled out nothing and moved on. Though he does mull over it later, conflicting emotions running all over him.

8: Helping separate Ran and Ranbob was already big for the gladiators. As most people would just watch with glee. Then when they get time to talk and make the connection between Ran and Ranbob, they decide to make a exception and willingly put in effort to bond with the other group. Also them just naturally connecting made the bonding and trust easy between the groups.

9: They do both! They keep some books, pictures, and other stuff, but sell others as relics. Ranbob mostly disapproves of them selling the items, but also knows it'll probably be best to sell them, and have them either spread the story of Mizu as a warning, or have the story of Mizu destroyed by assumptions and twisting of the story.

10: I'm thinking maybe a Wilbur decendent is inhabiting a certain town, and when the groups stop in for a break, Wilbur decendant houses them and listens to their story, and tries to help?

11: They mostly just find them, they either find them in book stores or ruined towns and cities (maybe I can put The Masquerade tale in here somewhere), a wide range of people, from scholars to plain history nerds, to books from during the time of the SMP itself to books written by seemingly no one. Ranbob finds some himself, mostly when exploring with the group. I think I misworded this! Dream is the one who compared Ranbobs journal to Ranboos memory book! Ranbob knows of Ranboos memory book but he himself doesn't see the connection. Ran feels all of the above. He is extremely ashamed and disappointed in himself for hurting his brother, he hugs him tightly and apologizes non-stop, promising to make it all up to him, and while he asks for forgiveness he also says he doesnt expect for his brother to forgive him. Once he finally sees Dream for real though he's the first one to blindly attack and try to kill em. Though he doesnt succeed.

12: No one expect the brothers where outside in the rain when they fought. So no one knew of what was happening. Its only when Ran finally joined them, but alone, did they get scared and alarmed. And when Ran admits they got into a fight and Ranbob ran off, the fishermen immediately start yelling at Ran and run off to find Ranbob, screaming his name into the deafening thunder. Grievous follows them but Watson and Jackie hang back a bit, Jackie just looks at Ran with a heartbroken expression, tears in his eyes, and asks, with his voice shaking and laced with sadness, "Why can't you at least try to accept him, you dont have to like or forgive him, but why can't you just let him heal?" "Jackie..you dont know what's he done-" "I do know! And I'm willing to help him change and recover! You can't and your his brother! What kind of family member are you?" Ran tries to respond but Jackie just chokes and shakes his head at him, running off to follow the others. Watson then speaks up, simply saying "Mate, your doing more than hurting Ranbob at this point." Before running off to follow and join the others. Ran feels horrible, even before being confronted he so badly wanted to chase after Ranbob, but was to scared too and he constantly was trying to reassure himself that he did the right thing, but no matter what, he couldn't convince himself that was the truth. And after the confrontation, Ran is taking what was said to heart and also considering running away, leaving the group behind and sparing them of all the pain he believes he causes, believing that he's just as bad a family member as Ranbob was. But he doesnt, because he feels like he absolutely needs to talk to his brother and everyone else.

2: Oh god. Poor Ranbob. He really went through it. It does make me wonder, did anyone notice something was up? His mentor? Parents? Friends? Speaking off, what was his relationship with them all? From what I know, he seemed to be under a lot of pressure, so how did that effect things, and how did Dream’s presence change that? And uh, gladiators reactions to reading the diary? Also, did they get caught reading it, or? And how did everyone in general react to the pictures? The fishermen may have taken the latter, but how did they feel about seeing Ranbob before Dream came into the picture?

3: I tell it like it is, glad to hear it’s made you laugh though. And uh, oh boy. On one hand, I definitely shouldn’t laugh at stabbing and possible starvation. One the other. Ran’s reaction. Ranbob being threatened with Benjamin. Is he often threatened with Benjamin? What exactly happens if Benjamin is told? Will Raq be causing future problems? Is Ran happy to be on the road again?

4: That sucks. Did the gladiators witness it first hand, or did the fishermen kind of realize what was happening and split off for a bit? Reactions to either seeing or hearing this happen?

5: Ranbob’s reaction to this? Heck, all of the fishermen’s reactions?

6: As he should. If he ever starts looking even slightly thin again, Benjamin needs to jump into immediate action! Also, give him a blanket and warm drink, please? Please, he needs it, they all do.

7: So not too bad, that’s good. Charles was the one, huh? Interesting. Does Ranbob like having it back? And conflicting emotions, hmm? What would those emotions be? Does anyone ever notice the nickname makes him mad?

8: So the gladiators consider that their big approval? Why’s that? Like obviously, they helped break it up, but was it something particular? Did they get between the two? Jump into the arena? What?

9: A warning of Mizu...there’s something awfully tragic about that.

10: Sounds interesting! In what way would they be able to help?

11: Scattered about, hm? So Ranbob knows about Ranboo’s memory book? Did Dream tell him, or did Mizu have a copy, or? And yay, Ranbob finally gets a hug! Most wonderful! Sad Ran doesn’t succeed in murder, but meh. Always next time, I suppose.

12: You...you were really going for my heart when you wrote this, weren’t you? Um, first of all, ouch. Second of all, also ouch. That’s all I’ve got for you right now. Just, ouch, Anon. Ouch.

#dream smp #dream smp au #Brothers AU #tales from the smp #ranbob

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lumilasi · 4 years

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I'm just curious what your thoughts on Shigaraki are. Im praying he gets control back. I would be so sad if the body take over is dragged out. It looks like they are going the save Tomura route which is great but my thought is that means we won't get him back till the end.. I swear if they have Eri rewind him 😤 I hope it's OK to ask you this, if not please ignore and accept my apologies and have a good day. ☀️🌞

Ha ha it’s alright! I don’t mind talking about my favorite character, and musing out my thoughts about what might happen. Of course, keep in mind this is just my thoughts/viewpoint, and I would never say anything I muse out about this is a fact; I’m not the writer after all. I’m just going over the story bits we already know and considering what could possibly be the story-direction we’re going towards!

(Also warning, this is probs gonna get a little long-winded because I have a lot of thoughts about this, and Tomura and Izuku’s stories are pretty tightly tied to the larger one at hand about the world they live in.)

To give you a short summary: I think Tomura might indeed stay possessed for a while, and perhaps Izuku could team up with his friends to help save him from this possession. I also don’t think Eri should be using her powers a whole lot right now in the story, given her trauma and age. She needs to heal herself first to avoid unintentionally causing more damage to her mental state. Trauma recovery takes time, often more than what we’ve seen so far in the manga.

And now for the long-winded explanation (under the cut so this post isn’t ridiculously long:)

So, considering the overall narration and themes Horikoshi has used in the manga, it feels reasonable to say that one of the end goals in all likeness is to “save” those the current society would not bother saving, including Tomura, and especially Tomura, considering his character and story kind of symbolizes the overall failures and problems of this society. His BG touches on so many bad things and problems wrong with the way their world runs currently.

(Apathy from people being over-reliant on heroes, lack of proper help for mental health, hero idol worship that makes people neglect their families over their duty as a hero, abusive parental figures, dehumanization, etc.)

Izuku’s main goal, the goal of his story after all, is to become the greatest hero as the beginning narration expressed. The most reasonable way to do that given the things we’ve been shown about this world, is to do something none of the current heroes would; save those deemed “unfit” to be saved. It’s not only something personally fitting to Izuku’s character, but holds larger symbolic meaning for the overall narrative. I actually saw somebody discuss this particular topic in a post a while back, that put it better than I ever could.

(click the link if you’re curious to read it, it’s a pretty interesting one)

Now, what that saving means in practice is likely going to be more complicated, since the people in question have done bad things that deserve consequences, and I won’t deny that.

However, one of the biggest issues is, that the way this society functions seems to kind of be the very source of these villains doing bad things. If only somebody would’ve bothered to pick up this scared kid walking on the street before AFO got to him, none of what is happening now would have happened. (or at least, it would’ve been someone else in worst case scenario)

So, to go back on what you actually asked about; I do think that in order to reach the goal Izuku was set, he does need to free Tomura from that possession, that’s probably the least he can and should do.

In that sense, it would honestly make sense it would happen close to the end of the story as the best way to symbolize Izuku becoming the greatest hero - saving even the person who everybody else likely deemed unworthy of saving.

Not to mention, I recall Horikoshi mentioning that he planned the ending to be something where heroes and villains have to team up to reach an end goal of sorts. Izuku teaming up with Tomura’s friends to save Tomura could fit into this concept.

As for Eri...her rewind powers are bit of a...yeah. I also have lot of thoughts about that so bear with me.

They’re pretty difficult from narrative perspective, because they come off very “deus ex machina” or “magical fix all” that removes any stakes, and I’ve seen from the fandom people wishing Eri to just magically fix everything each time somebody is horribly injured, which...that’s a tad disturbing to me? Asking this little traumatized girl who’s seen lot of horrid injuries and gore to view MORE of it potentially, to heal your favorites? Even if she’d want to do it willingly (which she probably would out of gratitude) she’s, what, six?

(yes I know this is fiction and I might be taking this a bit too seriously, but I am also looking at this from the narration point of view, and her doing these magic fixes would also actually be bad for the story narration IMO, I’ll explain below)

She’s just a child, she probably can’t really grasp yet what she can and can’t handle, when it comes to her trauma, and what is and isn’t good for her. Eri “magically fixing everything” is an absolute no from me, both for her own sake and from narration perspective.

Like I get it, anybody would be sad when their fave gets hurt, I am too, but Eri’s a traumatized child, and tbh having her magically fix everything at her current state would in my eyes go against the point the narrative is trying to make, about the need for change and doing things better from the previous generation. Her rewinding these “changes” in the story, as a traumatized kid, is basically holding up the status quo that is harmful. Using somebody’s remarkable power out of duty to do good while potentially ignoring the impact it can have on the individuals own well-being, which basically will hindrance their ability to do said good in the future.

I can let fixing Mirio’s quirk pass, because he wasn’t horrifically injured in a manner that could potentially trigger Eri’s traumas. It was still a tad risky in my eyes to make this kid do it, because even if she did train for it, what if things went horribly wrong and she made Mirio disappear? That would’ve just caused her unnecessary mental anguish. They basically got lucky there that Hori was kind enough to make it work.

I would not mind so much, if the person having this power wasn’t a traumatized kid basically, in a story that is about a flawed system and the harmful effects it has on the individuals living in it with the way it currently runs.

So personally, I don’t want to see Eri use her powers at this point in that manner. She’s still recovering herself and probably not mentally ready to handle these things. Once she’s in a mentally better place, older and more capable of understanding what is or isn’t good for her, then she can go ahead and rewind people’s lost limbs left and right and use her quirk as the next generation superhero healer. But not right now, not when she’s still just a kid with horrible trauma.

Plus, I feel her point in the story was less about her power, and more about her parallels with Tomura; she could’ve become like him if she hadn’t been saved, and in turn, Tenko could’ve been like her if he had been saved.

So, from narrative point of view, It feels likely (though I could be wrong of course) that Tomura will remain possessed for a while, and Izuku’s end goal (or one of them) is to save him from the possession, and perhaps they’ll work together to defeat AFO. This last part I’m not that sure about though, given we still don’t have all the puzzle pieces. There’s probably a lot more to be learned about AFO himself, that will have an impact on how the story goes. We’ll see.

So yeah. Sorry this is kind of long, but sometimes you need lot of text to properly convey your thoughts xD Plus I’m just kinda used to writing long pieces of text.

#my musings #answered ask #bnha tomura #shigaraki tomura #midoriya izuku #bnha izuku #mha izuku #manga spoilers

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imaginethathaikyuu · 4 years

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How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

#ily<3 #long post

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wreckofawriter · 5 years

Text

Focus

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Ravenclaw!reader

Warnings: Slight swearing, bullying

Word count: 4,728 (this is the longest one I've ever written)

Request: Hey do you think you could do a Draco imagine? I was thinking with a ravenclaw reader who’s actually shy and clumsy.

A/n: Sorry this came out later than I anticipated, its regents week for me and I was crushed by exams. I hope to have part one of my Draco series out over the weekend. Hope you guys like this ridiculously long one!

“Ms. y/l/n” You heard an all too familiar voice say.

“Yes Professor?” You asked turning around swiftly to face the raven haired teacher.

“What happened with your potion, it was a complete disaster?” The teacher asked.

You flushed, it was no secret you weren't exactly great at positions, you were too clumsy to measure anything out, you managed to cut your finger and you always messes up the order of ingredients.

“I'm so sorry professor i'm just not very good at positions. I have been studying I swear, it just..” Your voice trailed off. “I'm sorry professor.” You mumbled looking down.

“I want you prepared for the test next Wednesday, you should be able to manage that?” He asked eyebrows raised.

“Of course professor.” You mumbled still quite flush from the whole conversation. You turned to leave walking back towards your common room. About thirty seconds later you saw the last person you wanted to. Mckenzie Clarkson. She was a fellow housemate who unfortunately was extremely popular, pretty, nimble footed and of course, smart. She was basically everything you weren't, in your mind.

“God your pathetic.” The brunett girl laughed, her stunning green eyes narrowing. “You have lost, what was it? 30 points for us today.” The girls behind her giggled whispering things to each other. “You shouldnt even be in Ravenclaw. Your far to stupid. You cant even get into the common room without help, you trip over your own feet and you are practically failing all your classes.” She smirked clearly feeling very good about herself, as you willed yourself not to cry. You hated crying, so you just glared up at her anger rushing through you like a wave, but you kept it down, what could you possibly say to her?

“Can you just let me go?” You asked voice weak.

“I don't know can we?” The hallway erupted in laughter.

“Just let me leave.” You said voice a bit stronger now as your anger grew.

“Fine.” She smirked as she moved out of the way. You quickly began to walk through the group of girls, the embarrassment was suffocating.

Just as you were about to break free of the group, a girl stuck he leg out sending you sprawling to the ground. Your hands, full of books that scattered as you attempted to get your arms in front of you, it was a failure and you landed on your elbow directly followed by you face. You groaned in pain as you felt blood begin to seep from your nose.

“Oops.” The girl giggled before they all turned to leave laughing and joking.

You lay there for a few seconds squeezing your eyes shut, begging the tears to retreat. You eventually pushed yourself up so you were sitting. You were surrounded by books and papers, you had blood rushing down your face dripping onto you shirt and you had had enough. You simply pulled yourself to the side of the hallway drawing your knees to you cest and began to cry. You knew this wouldn't stop. You were far too shy to say anything and even if you weren't the girls were right anyway. Why were you in Ravenclaw when it took you a good twenty minutes just to figure out the password to your own common room?

Just then your heard voices. You quickly moved grabbing your books and sprinting out of the hallway before anyone could see you. You sprinted the whole way back to the tower. You were greeted by the raven statue you had grown to hate. You groaned loudly.

The statue spoke, “How is it possible for you to stand behind your father while he is standing behind you?” it asked, making you groan again.

“Can you please just let me in, im covered in blood.” You grumbled knowing that it wouldn’t answer. You tried to think. How can I stand behind something that is behind me? You racked your brain for an awnser but it seemed impossible. You couldnt help it you began to cry again. Frustration, embarrassment and sadness filled you as tears streaked you cheek. Why were you put in Ravenclaw? What could that stupid, good for nothing, hat possibly seen in you that made him shout “Ravenclaw” like a farmer yelling for his next sheep to slaughter.

You then heard footsteps beside you. You turned to see Cho Chang. She was in the year above you and was everything a Ravenclaw should have been, pretty, athletic, and of course wicked smart. You wanted to hate her for being so perfect but you couldn't.

“Hey,” She said softly, “I heard what Mckenzie did. That's messed up.” She attempted to sooth you.

“It doesn't matter.” You attempted to smile but it was more of a tight lipped grimace.

“She’s wrong you know.” Cho smiled.

You gave a half hearted laugh, “What could possibly make me a Ravenclaw?”

“So much y/n,” she said, “You are crazy good at Wizards Chess for one.”

“That’s just a stupid game.” You grumbled.

“No, it takes strategy and I've never seen a single person beat you.” She pointed out.

You blushed not used to getting praised.

“Also i've seen your artwork, its beautiful, absolutely stunning.” She smiled making you blush more.

“Thanks.” you mumbled.

“Look don't let one girl get you down.” She advised before asking the statute for the riddle. It answered and she stood there thinking for a second.

“Oh!” she exclaimed, “Your standing back to back.”

The statue spun open as you hit your forehead onto you stack of books making you stumble, barley catching yourself before you fell. You cursed yourself before ascending the stairs to your room. You had had enough humiliation for today.

Draco rolled his eyes as Zambini told another terrible joke beside him, “What do you call a red head with no brains?’

“I don't know, you with red hair?” Draco mocked.

“Close but no.” the other boy snickered, “A weasley!” He erupted into laughter as they rounded the corner, heading to the common room.

As they continued talking Draco felt something thump against his foot. He looked down to see a leather bound book which he had kicked a few feet in front of him. The platinum blonde raised his eyebrows before bending down to pick it up.

“What the..” Balises voice trailed off.

Draco looked up to see a small puddle of blood at the end of the quoridor.

“Some idiot probably got hurt in potions or something.” Draco scoffed, though he was a bit confused. They continued walking being careful to avoid the blood. Draco's mind was quickly brought back to the book and he opened it to see what it was. What he saw stunned him.

They were sketches. Not crappy sketches that was done by some kid, but damn good sketches. Most of them looked like they were for herbology. There were various plants with notes about them scribbled in messy handwriting in the margins, but every few pages there was something different. On the fifth page there was a drawing of a creature he didn't recognize. It was a black horse-like creature with big leathery looking wings. He wondered what it was. They had now arrived at the common room and Draco went directly to a couch sitting down on the black leather, continuing through the book. On the eleventh page there was a drawing of a broom stick. It was read Nimbus 2000 at the handel. There were various other sketches of random objects littered throughout the pages of plants and each was extremely realistic. His thoughts were interrupted by Daphne and Pansy.

“Did you draw those Malfoy?” Daphne asked plucking the book out of his hand ignoring his protests.

“No, could I have it back?” He asked glaring at the girl.

Before she could respond Perkison interrupted, “Who’s is it Dracy?”

“Don't call me Dracy” the boy groweld, “and I haven't the slightest idea.”

“Oh, how did you get it?” Daphne asked.

“I just found it, now give it back.” He stood up snatching the book up before retreating upstairs.

“Who pissed in his cheerios?” Pansy grumbled plopping onto the couch.

The next day you had herbology first period, you quite liked herbology you were good at it too. You loved how you could just sketch after you finished the drawing of the plants and of course you love your grade in the class. It made you feel less like a loser. Just a little less. When you plopped yourself into a seat next to a Ravenclaw boy named Casey. He was always very nice and often complimented you drawings. You would be lying if you said you didn't like him a little.

After sitting down and greeting the boy you opened your bag to look for your sketchbook. It was nowhere to be found. What the heck? You thought as you searched through your bag with no luck. Then it struck you. You must have left it in the dungous yesterday. You cursed yourself quietly.

“You okay?” Casey asked beside you.

“Yeah I just lost my book,” You smiled at him blushing a bit.

“Oh. I could help you look for it later if you want.” He offered.

“O-oh I wouldn't want to bother you.” you blushed

“It's no bother, I swear i want to help.” He smiled flashing a pearly set of straight teeth.

“Ok, s-sounds good.” You stammered, you felt your face grow impossibly warmer.

The lesson continues and you talked occasionally to Casey, you did your sketch on a piece of lined paper, you would transfer them when you found your notebook. After Herbologioy you and Casey headed down to the dungeons to look for your book. You had never really hung out with him out of class and it was nice. You were fighting a blush the whole time, you weren’t really one who interacted with attractive boys out of class.

Draco began to make his way down to potions, he was still working through the drawings, there were many creatures he had never heard of before. It was odd, how had he never seen so many of these before? He was halfway through the dungeons when he heard giggling. It wasn't Pansy’s shriek, it was a soft quiet sound that made him think of the patter of rain on dewy grass. He turned the corner to see two figures in blue robes. One was a tall boy with dirty blond hair and deep brown eyes. Next to him was a y/h girl with y/h/l y/h/c hair that shone in the candle light. Her eyes were a stunning y/e/c that shared a soft yet sharp gaze with the world. He was taken aback. How had he never seen this girl before? They both looked at Draco expecting him to speak but he didn't, he simply kept walking brushing past the two, tucking the leather bound book back into his robes.

As he walked away, he heard the boy mutter something to the girl, causing her to gasp and laugh,

“Casey!” she scolded him

“Oh come on y/n that was funny.” He teased back and Draco almost gasped in surprise. That was y/n? y/n y/l/n? No way. You were in his potions class and you never even spoke up, you were constantly messing up positions too. How was that girl the same one whose name he had grown deaf to Snape yelling? I didn't seem possible.

“Shot, I have to get to positions.” you told Casey glancing at your watch. He said goodbye as you walked quickly to your worst class. You were actually unusually excited, Luna one of your best friends had offered to help you out because you had the class together and she was quite good at potions. You entered the classroom quickly and found Lun, sitting next to the girl. As you waited for class to start you chatted about the different potions and what might be on the test.

“Wait for the dragons egg you have to turn it to powder first right?” you asked to see your friends gaze elss where.

“Dracos staring at you.” She said simply as if she hadn't just said an impossible sentence.

“What?” you asked turning around to meet a pair of silver eyes already on you. They quickly dodged away making you blush tremendously. “I saw him in the hallway eairler, and Casey made a stupid joke about him, hes probally plotting my death.” You sighed reality crashing on to you.

“I don't think so.” Luna said in her usual dreamy tone.

“What else would he be doing?” You murmured returning to your notes.

Before Luna could answer Snape entered the room and you snapped your eyes to the front of the class.

“It has come to my attention that many of you are getting nothing done in this class.” He stated harshly. You cringed this was not going to end well. “And because of that fact I have made a new seating chart,” You groaned, just when you were getting excited about positions.

“Listen for your name and your partner,” He continued. “Parkinson, Belby. Goldstein, Crabbe. Greengrass, Lovegood.” You glanced at your friend who was as usual, smiling. You are happy for her as well, there were much worse partners to be had. “Corner, Zambini. Boot, Blustrode. Y/l/n, Malfoy.” The rest of the names went out of the window when you heard your partner. This was not going to be good, not good at all.

When Draco heard your name called, then quickly followed by his he felt like he was going to throw up. And it wasn't because he knew you were probably going to botch whatever potion they made, it was because he wasn't sure if he could focus around you. He blushed madly and tried to think about something else. It's just a pretty girl you bloody idiot. He scolded himself. You just met her today, he reminded himself Well just realized she existed today. He was shaken out of his thoughts by Snape's voice.

“If you don't like your partner, too bad. Move together please.” Draco glanced over at y/n who was already packing up, Zambini moved from his seat apologizing to Draco for his partner and moved toward the back where Micheal was seated.

He then saw you make your way over to him your cheeks a bit red, the same way they were when you were talking to that Casey boy in the hallway. He grimaced, how was he jealous of someone he had never spoken a word to? He then decided he would ignore every good quality you had and focus on the bad ones. That way it would be easier to pretend to hate you right?

The second you sat down his plan failed. You smelt like vanilla and roses. He wanted to lean closer to you and inhale your addicting scent forever, but instead he moved over or so he couldn't breathe in your intoxicating fumes.

“Hi, i’m y/n.” You said sweetly sticking your hand out.

“I know who you are.” Draco responded ignoring your hand and continuing to stare at the board, slouching in his seat.

“Oh ok.” You murmured. He saw a small frown take over your soft pink lips and he felt angry for being its cause.

Snape explained that you were to make a Confusing Concoction potion and told you you had till the end of class. The potion wasn't too complicated. You thought you might be able to get through this one.

“I'll get the water you can work on the feathers.” Draco drawled trying not to get to close to you as he stood. You pretend not to notice.

“Ok.” you nodded. You grabbed the feathers and began to separate the barbs from them. Not but two feathers in you yelped with pain as a barb pierced your thumb. You yanked it out hissing in pain as you saw blood drips from the wound. Draco who was now back and heating the water grimaced at the sound of your pain but refused to show that he cared.

He sighed loudly, “Look you go clean up and I will finish the feathers.”

“Thank you.” you whimpered walking towards a sink face red as the blood dripping from your hand.

Draco let out a breath he didn't know he was holding after you walked past. He then sat down and began to work on the feathers. His fingers moved easily to separate the barbs from the stalk and he couldn't help but wonder how you had possible stuck yourself with one so quickly. He then heard a thump and an apology and looked up to see you stumbling back to your seat face a brilliant red as Millicent and Boot glared after you. He snickered a bit turning back to the feathers.

Once you had most of the ingredients in you had to wait for 30 minutes for it to boil so Draco sat down and pulled out the book of drawings he had found.

He was flipping through the pages again when he heard a gasp beside him. He looked up eyebrows raised.

“Where did you find that?” You asked pointing at the book.

“In the hallway.” He smirked, “Why do you care anyway?”

“Because it's mine.” You whispered causing his cheeks to flush.

“This is yours?” He asked surprise sewn into his voice.

“Yes.” you nodded, “I lost it when..” your voice trailed off face growing red, “after potions.” you finished voice quiet.

“You sure this is yours?” It came out harsher than Draco had intended but what could he do about it now?

“Yes.” you breathed out face growing warmer. “It does have drawings in it, doesn't it?”

“Well yeah but they are like, really good.” Only after he said it did he realise how it sounded. He instantly was filled with guilt as your face flashed with sadness and anger.

“Yeah, well, they’re mine.” You grumbled voice quiet.

“Here.” He handed the book to you, your hands brushed before you snatched the book away and he felt like he was going to burst at the feeling of your skin against his.

Just then the timer on your position went off and the two of you continued to work.

That's how it went for two weeks. You and Draco would share very few words as you worked together. Your grade did improve, but you were still quite prone to accidents and Draco rolled his eyes everytime. You went from being sad he didn't like you to being mad. He was always so rude. He would avoid speaking to you, looking at you, hell he avoided you altogether, his seat was always poised at the other end of the desk as if you were some sort of plague. All of this made you angry and frustrated. What have you done to make you so repulsive? You knew you weren't the best at potions but you had only messes up three the whole time and you were improving. You had never been rude to the boy even once, how come he hated you so much?

“I just don't get it.” You pouted turning to Casey who was walking you down to potions.

“It's not your fault y/n, he's like that with everyone.” He explained, “He's just a dick, not much you can do about it.”

“But maybe if I was better at potions the-” you were interrupted by Casey.

“Y/n its not your fault, you are amazing and sweet and kind, it's just him okay? Don't let him make you doubt yourself.”

You blushed furiously at his words, “Thanks Case.”

“Plus if he's really pissing you off just blow a potion up in his face.” he jeered.

You laughed loudly, “He'd probably kill me with his icy glare.” you teased.

“He is always glaring at you.” Casey smiled.

“Thanks for walking me.” You said.

“Of course, i’ll see you around y/n.” He beamed.

“See ya.” You said before entering the classroom. You were met with Draco's frozen glare.

“Hello Malfoy.” You greeted.

“Y/l/n” he responded his voice vacant of any emotion.

You sat down and glanced at the board to see what position you were working on. You then looked at Draco who was already looking at you making you blush.

“I'll get the water.” You said promptly before standing up and snatching a cauldron. Only when you did this you left foot got caught behind your right and you plummeted to the ground. You dropped the cauldron with a clang and you hit the ground. You instantly heard laughter erupted throughout the room and you felt tears well up in your eyes. You then heard a snicker and you didn't have to see his face to know it was Draco. You blinked furiously face a deep shade of crimson. You then pushed yourself off the ground, lifted the cauldron from a few feet away and turned to face the slytherin boy. Your shyness suddenly disappearing in your rage and embarrassment when you saw the everlasting smirk perched on his lips. You felt two tears cascade down your red cheeks as you thrust the cauldron into his hands.

“Screw you Malfoy.” your voice trembled through gritted teeth. You then quickly left the classroom, laughter disappearing behind you. You made it maybe two cordors from the classroom when you saw Mckenzie. You instantly turned to run but were cut off by a few other girls already behind you.

“God y/n, such a clutz.” She snickered. “I think you belong in a physical therapy building not a wizarding school.”

You only whimpered feeling helpless and small.

“Boo-hoo poor, poor, y/n all alone.” She rubbed her eyes with her fists.”You do realize that Casey only hangs out with you because of a dare right?”

Your eyes widened in confusion.

“I made a dare that he couldn't get you to go out with him in a month and here we are, only two weeks in and you are practically drooling over him.”

You felt a sob leave your mouth. You wanted to say it wasn’t true but you knew it was. It sure as hell wasn’t a coincidence he asked to help you find your book the exact day she said she struck the deal with him. You felt angry. Sad. But most of all embarassed. You were always so embarrassed. Why where you always so fucking embarassed?!

“Guess I'll have to go out with him now that I told you about the bet” She smirked picking at her long blue nails.

“Of course.” You muttered tears falling of your chin.

“What's that?” Mckenzie smirked.

“Of course he would want to go out with you.” You began to sob and you saw Mckenzie’s smirk widen and your anger out did you.

“Of course, some douchebag like him would want to date a slutty bitch like you.” Anger dripped like poison from your voice. All of the laughter around you stopped as you felt yourself smile. You looked up through your tears to see Mkenzies mouth wide open in shock, her eyes wide in her sockets.

Anger took over her features and she pulled her wand from her robes with a shriek. “Stupify!” she shouted and you were sent sprawling backward. Your head hit the stone wall and black dots danced in your vision. You groaned closing your eyes but they popped back open when you heard another voice.

“Back off!” it yelled anger knit into its frame. You turned to see Draco heading strait at the girls. He whipped his wand once and suddenly Meckenzi flew into the air. She then dangled there like an invisible rope was tied to her ankle.

She shrieked for the girls below her to help but they just turned and ran fearful of the boy heading toward them. After the other girls disappeared Draco flicked his wand again and Mckenzie fell to the ground and began to cry.

“Get out of here before I do more than hex you.” You heard him growl.

The girl instantly stood up sobbing as she stumbled away. Draco's eyes softened when they landed on you.

“Are you alright?” he asked as he rushed over to you.

“What do you care Malfoy?” you mumbled attempting to get up only to stumble over your own feet and plummet to the ground, well you would have hit the ground if it wasn't for a pair of strong arms wrapping around you. You looked up at the blonde, his grey eyes were set on your lips and felt your heartbeat speed up to extremely high. Draco's face was now quite red as he helped you back to your feet.

“Why do you hate me?” the question rose from your lips before you could stop it. You flushed immediately after it left your mouth. Draco looked taken aback by the question.

“I don't hate you.” he stated.

“Don't lie to me. You avoid looking at me, you don't speak to me, hell you sit as far away from me as possible.” You paused looking at the boy, “I just want to know why.”

He laughed he actually laughed. What could possibly be funny right now? Was this all another joke? Did he really find your misery that funny. You flushed madly turning to leave.

“No wait love, don't leave.” Draco begged his laughter stopping abruptly.

You felt heat rush to your face at the nickname and turned around looking at the ground. Your gaze was turned upward when you felt a finger slowly lift your face upward. You had never blushed so much in your entire life.

“I don't hate you y/n. I would never hate you.” He smiled, not his usual smirk but a genuine smile and it made you go weak at the knees. “I don't think I could ever hate you.”

“Then why do you act like you do?” you asked, “Why do you avoid me? Why do you never talk to me, never look at me?”

He sighed, “I avoid you because whenever I get near you, I smell you. And it drives me crazy.” His hand caressed your cheek bone and you were pretty sure you face was on fire. “Your scent is beyond intoxicating. When I talk to you I lose track of everything else and I can only hear your voice echoing in my head.” He whispered, his minty breath danced across your face making you shudder. “And when I look at you, it's like the world disappears and it's only you standing there. Everytime I look at you I have to battle myself not to lean in and taste your lips.”

You stared at him. You couldn't breath, your It had been replaced with butterflies that were now fluting inside you madly. You were pretty sure this is what death felt like. But then something clicked inside you and your realized this wasn't death it was love.

“When it comes to you, I can focus on nothing else.” Dracos lips were so close you could feel them brush yours and you couldn't take it anymore. You grabbed the back of his head and smashed his lips onto yours.

You had never felt anything like it before, his lips danced on yours with grace you couldn't even begin to fathom. You felt his tongue slid across your lips and your eyes widened in surprise. You then shut them again opening your mouth a slight bit. You ran your hand threw his hair as he explored your mouth with his tongue pushing you up against the wall softly. You didn't want to break the kiss but you felt your lungs burn begging for air and you drew away from him.

You were both panting when you pulled apart. Your face was a bright red, your lips swollen, and hair disheveled but to Draco, you had never looked more beautiful.

“Merlin,” he gasped out, “I'm never going to focus again when I know you kiss like that.”

You flashed a brilliant red and giggled, Draco then decided he couldn't stop himself anymore, he pressed his lips against yours once again.

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