#grievember

[smimon]

I'll probbly write a lot of vent posts this month ahaha let's start with

The worst day of this year, when I was crying and spasming and completely lost all hope, looking so miserable that even my parents who never care about my feelings started to comfort me (how humiliating)

It was my name day, which I wanted to celebrate instead of my birthday because my birthdays always suck and I thought having a special day with traditionally lower expectations will make it hurt less if something goes wrong. Guess what! It didn't work

I'm not superstitious and I will stop celebrating altogether not out of some belief that I am cursed, but simply because I might not survive another disappointment like this, and the possibility for it happening again is unfortunately real

especially since im the only one who tries to prevent it from happening