#guess thats why its called vagueposting

[themyscirah]

When you just want to rant about an obscure character you hate in a worst guy ever poll but he gets put up against a popular character whose presence there is supported by lots of misinfo abt a very specific plot arc (that you havent read) among other things and now the fandom is on fire 😟

[coughloop]

vent/rant post about fash/cryptofash/reactionaries on tumblr under the cut dont reblog

im really frustrated with how things have gone down in the last week and im gonna ramble a lot, also im gonna use fash/cryptofash/reactionary and maybe some other terms pretty interchangeably cause they all feel like umbrella terms for the type of people im talking about.

I know we're all getting tired of blocking the same cryptofash accounts that keep remaking over and over again, as well as new ones that find their ways into the periphery of popular posters and have suddenly shoot into popularity until they post something super racist. And a lot of the time it feels so useless and futile, like half the time they have a backup ready to go and the other half just remake in under 24 hours. and like, what does it even do? its not fighting any real world issues, i have no idea what the social effect of having super racist people 3 degrees of separation from everyone on the site actually means, but I know I really fucking dont like it, I know it makes me super uncomfortable to see a mutuals reblog from someone who constantly reblogs and interacts with people that fantasize about beating up trans people on the street.

and now that people like me and some others are getting more and more savvy about noticing cryptofash blogs, it becomes harder and harder to not see how many people i follow that keep me 3 degrees of separation from them.

take ukrainianbimbo for example. they constantly reblog from terfs, transphobes, racists, misogynists and anti-Semites AS WELL as trans people, Jewish people, and people of colour. i blocked them from following me months ago after spending 30 seconds on their blog and recognizing multiple well known tumblr reactionaries. when they noticed i had blocked them and made a couple posts about how easy it is to not follow and reblog from fascists they went on a posting spree whining about how they dont check who they reblog from and why should it be their responsibility. wah wah wah, shut up. anyway, last week they got properly called out for this behaviour and badgrapple came to their defense, going on the dumbest tirade ive ever seen about how theyre sick of fake callouts for people who havent done anything wrong (tell that to your friend ukrainianbimbo who's reaction to being labelled an anti-Semite and a fascist was to triple down on telling a trans jewish woman that she was ugly and should kill herself (both of these things are very untrue shout out Agent, you dont deserve that at all)) and now both of them are going out of their way to interact with more bigots seemingly as a protest for being repressed over hanging with those types in the first place. Fuck off.

All of this then led into people i respect making random vagueposts like "feel like fash is a word being thrown around way too liberally on tumblr these days" and like, yeah, in a way i guess it is, but also people are acting like fascists! crypto fascists specifically because theyre never completely open about their beliefs. fash is shorter and less confusing however (thanks cryptocurrency for that) so thats what people genuinely call them. Why is that a bad thing? If you're posting things that people look at and say "woah dude, you sound like a fascist", maybe thats on you for doing things that other fascists on this site do, not on them for using the "wrong word" for it.

on top of all this though, people HAVE started making up unchecked callouts about people, like Declan smokeweedinbong, who was unfairly called a fascist by someone because declan responded to a comment on his post he didnt background check, thats totally unfair to declan but fuck the reaction from a lot of my mutuals was REALLY WEIRD. people didnt start posting in defense of declan, who again, did nothing wrong but not pay as much attention to a random person as he could have (ive done that too i get it!), but instead people started beating the "cancel culture has gone to far" drum, fucking again. why is that your response?? defend your friends, please! but why is it people who dont want to be exposed to racists and transphobes and anti-Semites ultimately receiving the pushback? its so dumb!

so now half the time i see someone getting an anon about reblogging from a fash, they respond positively but why do they always get follow up anons like "thats dumb who cares, i never look at who i reblog from" like maybe you fucking should?? shut up! people are so fucking stupid on anon it blows me away soemtimes.

i really have no idea where im going with all this, i just really needed to get this frustration of my chest. thanks for reading my run on sentences if you did, and sorry for being somewhat incoherent, i just am so fucking tired of all this, and it doesnt even mean anything. whatever

[a-dragons-journal]

At first I saw that ask about deitykin vs dragonkin and was like 'Oh are we talking about the intersections of divinity and draconity? Wait no scrolled further its about deitykin having some shitty drama that hurts the whole community' Which oh yeah it does.

Im dragonkin and in my past life I had rites given to me for protecting a place so at one point I was calling myself divine(dont actively do so now). And about ~5 years ago I was reblogging goreposts to the edgy kin sideblog as one does and suddenly got a ask that was like 'hi please block me thank you <3' and I was like ??? who the fuck are you but ok I respect boundaries and did as asked, though out of curiosity I checked what tf happened and it turns out a post I reblogged without even looking at op as you do was that person and they had in their hidden dni post that all divinekin/godkin werent to interact. Which fair boundary but completely unfair to expect people to check like that before reblogging. All right. The person the proceeded to vaguepost about me for a few posts over an hour or two about how divinekin are so 'entitled' and 'arrogant' and this one divinekin was oh so terrible. For. Not obsessively checking the pages of every blog they reblogged like a stalker and replying 'not sure why but ok, also blocked on all sideblogs for you, wishing you the best' so they know their request was granted I guess?

Let me be clear- my blog didnt directly state I was divinekin, I had 'gore/horror + divinity blog' as my bio on whats clearly an aesthetic-only blog. Otherkin should not have been the first thought there. I did not tag the post with anything but the gore tag. This person would have had to stalk my blog into the about pages to discover this fact. On a post with hundreds of notes.

Its this kind of baffling kneejerk hatred for divinekin who are just vibing and have never been anything but polite and courteous to people that is just really saddening. For those who id as divine out there I really feel for you because thats only a taste of the flack you folks get for just existing. Trolls and kin drama that breached containment and people being fucking weird about religions not their own serve to inflame this shit and I wish all you the best. Haters gonna hate and all that. Sorry this anon got long lol

I'm not going to use this as an opportunity to rant about my hatred of DNIs, but. *gestures vaguely at the entitlement* what is wrong with people that they think telling someone else to block them is the solution instead of...... doing the blocking themself like a normal person??? There's literally no point to that other than alerting the person that you're blocking them, which should not be a goal of yours. That's not reasonable boundaries, that's being entitled. Reasonable boundaries would be them blocking you, not them demanding you change YOUR internet experience because, what, they said so?

*long sigh*

Okay, anyway. Not to distract from the fact that this happened because of the whole divinekin stigma thing, but it's also just. super reflective of current internet culture's failings and that's just as aggravating to me tbh.

But regardless - heartily agree; the whole divinekin stigma is just horrendously damaging and I have nothing but sympathy for those who've been harmed by it.

[nightcoremoon]

Callout post: me

lying, manipulative, hold grudges, constantly paranoid, would absolutely 100% check out a teenager if nobody was looking because "it's a harmless crime", liar, cycle through idealization and devaluation, 'sick of fat people trying to be the next civil rights issue and making it that much harder to get civil rights for people who are ACTUALLY oppressed like gee idk poc and muslims and the mentally ill and queer people', frequently fantasizes about committing violent acts against people I rationalize they deserve it including family members, untruthful, attention whore, pedantic AND pretentious, tells lies, doesn't believe in one sister's claim of sexual assault (went to smoke weed with the alleged perpetrator), UNAPOLOGETICALLY AGAINST ASEXUAL EXCLUSIONISM (LITERALLY FUCK YOU DUMBASS FOURTEEN YEAR OLDS WHO SHRIEK THAT QUEER IS A SLUR, SHUT YOUR GODDAM FUCKING WHORE MOUTHS YOU DUMBASSES AND GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE OR READ A BOOK), would absolutely punch a child over an insignificant internet argument, secretly sought out sexual pleasure from two friendly seemingly platonic encounters with two girls I just met within twenty four hours, overreacts to the slightest provocations and has bitches at or vagueposted at several people who did not deserve it, has used mental illness and physical handicap to evade trouble from being late for work because video games and laziness and excessive sleep, has spent maybe a thousand dollars on fast food in 2018 alone, evades bills for medical care from an actually great clinic, lying sack of garbage, gave up on calling out family's bigotry and is now an accessory to prejudice, despises terfs predominantly for their refusal to fuck me because of being trans and yet meanwhile would not engage in sexual relationship with another trans woman or cis man unless reeeeeeeeally drunk, can and will blame being sexually assaulted as a child which probably didn't even happen because I don't think I remember it, unabashed furry, probably as addicted to video games and masturbation AND LIES as I almost was to alcohol, pretended to have almost been an alcoholic just to "win" facebook arguments about addiction, doesn't give a fuck my dad almost died from heroin JUST because he's a *little* homophobic and racist and classist and xenophobic because of a christian upbringing, would literally fucking murder him if he EVER PUTS HIS HANDS ON ME AGAIN, only slightly depressed because of laziness and a lack of drive and ungrateful to my family because hey they didn't kick me out for being trans so HEY THATS SUPPORTIVE ENOUGH FOR SOME OTHER PEOPLE SO WHY CANT I BE HAPPY WITH THAT, legitimately salty about ~the friendzone~ and just makes fun of incels because everybody else does, takes the moral high ground for not being a misogynist even though I don't deserve a pat on the back a lap dance and a blowjob for not hating women, overly sensitive about stupid things, thinking about faking having a trigger warning for more discourse credit, HUUUGE ASSHOLE to men I deem unattractive for no other reason than every single ugly fat guy I've ever met has been an asshole, rationalizes it after the fact because they eventually say something shitty because all men are terrible, probably a little bit of a cisnormative misandrist because trans men tend to be much better people, finds trans men attractive (specifically and significantly more so than cis men) so must clearly be fetishizing them, relatively okay with people referring to me as deadnamed and the wrong pronouns so probably just lying about being trans to everyone including myself, not 100% okay with the hijab for 'no reason other than all organized religion is evil and opposed to its mandate and the shame it forces on many women in many situations the exact same way I'm opposed to no sex before marriage and wives being subservient to their husbands and treating women as property in the torah and quran alike because ITS ALL BRAINWASHING' so is clearly not unlearning islamophobia and doesn't want to let that go, hypocrite because I believe in the basics of judeochristianity

and loathe atheism and atheists entirely because their smugness and smarm literally sets my blood pressure through the roof of what is safe and normal and yet claim to hate all organized religion, mansplains yet gets so pissed off when other people mansplain to me, judgmental of other cultures because they don't have the exact same values that I have, james gunn apologist, talks and talks and talks about anarchosocialism all damn day but would beat the shit out of a coworker for leaving me to do things because they're lazy because "any job worth doing is worth doing well" and other capitalismisms, literally couldn't give less of a fuck that his mother is dying because people die but it's no reason to make my life slightly harder and making me work hard when I work because BOO HOO MY LEGS HURT FROM THE LITERALLY MOST MILD CASE OF MUSCULAR DYSTROPHY I COULD'VE BEEN BORN WITH, hasn't actually performed real suicide attempt ever but still claims to have done so to attain sympathy that may result in physical affection, countless other shitty terrible things that yeah I recognize are bad but CANT SEEM TO CARE BECAUSE I HAVE DEPRESSION... WHICH IS THE WEAKEST FUCKING EXCUSE IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE GODDAMN WORLD

I am not a good person, okay?

I just pretend to be sometimes.

I'm sick of doing it, I'm sick of trying to do well and earn people's approval by doing and saying the right things only to just be ignored which is a step up from receiving many anons that hey, never actually told me to kill myself, but did take my words out of context to paint me as a racist. I am not the kind of racist who would vote for trump and march with the kkk. that is one of very few good things I can say about myself. but I'm an arrogant, violent, and angry opinionated perverted manipulative judgmental lying asshole. I'm not a good person. I have let myself fall so much and I deserve to be alone. my only connections to people were built on personal gain and I swear to myself that I do love them but those feelings fall away in direct correlation to how much they interact with me. I could love you to the point of obsession and stalking and one month later be completely and totally disinterested. I'm a bigot who pretends to not be bigoted and just parrots what other people say not because I believe it but because it's the right thing to say, and I only say what the right thing is to say because whenever I say a good thing something good will happen to me and if I say a bad thing something bad happens to me. it's all just self preservation, nothing else at all. but now I'm at the end of a road of just trying to do good and I'm alone. out of the only two friends that I can really say that I have left, one is far away and trapped in a guilt spiral that I caused by being too clingy, and the other has been behaving in a way my mind has decoded as defensive around me which makes sense as I have been very... the best way to describe it would be the way a dudebro incel interacts with any person who possesses a vagina/breasts but sneakier. in both relationships I've pushed my own wants and desires in extremis... I can't for the life of me recall the last time I have ever offered something in return other than my own company or paying for a meal at a restaurant or I guess transportation. and instead of sex I just want them to express even the slightest bit of intimate platonic physical affection towards me but that's still a lot to offer someone who has clearly expressed the existence of a sexual and maybe something near the realms of romantic in one of the cases physical attraction because for this aspec it's practically the same fucking thing.

and I've manipulated them to attain this goal. at this point my shit brain has considered just fucking going to town on my wrists with a razor blade to draw sympathy so that I'll get a hug or something beyond just a simply hello/goodbye, and finding a way to induce tears to concoct a sob story to reach the same end result, and one time very briefly via threat and intimidation so you can clearly see that I've gone far too into irredeemable territory. I've been playing and replaying cry of fear because it's just too similar to my own issues and the first ending where he just kills everyone he loves and then himself... I see me in that ending. and it scares me so much more than the sprinting screaming twitching one hit kill chainsaw guy ever will. I don't want that to be me, I want to change something, but I just can't get the help that I need. I had hoped to go for a domino effect, where if I could be cuddled for like five minutes or something, I'd have the energy to be more hygienic, which would make me feel capable enough to take on two jobs, which would get me the cash flow I need to pay my bills and take care of my hormones, which would put me in the headspace necessary to effectively use psychological help, which would let me get over my illnesses and actually become a more successful person instead of the pathetic husk I am here in non-fantasy land.

but that won't happen.

I'm just sitting here in the dark angsting about how nobody will touch me in a way that would produce oxytocin, and it's making me so sick, so physically sick, that it's affecting my brain too. I'm in pain, nauseous, vengeful, spiteful, paranoid, judgmental, and lonely. I'm stuck and I can't even kill myself because my mind wants me to stay alive and suffer through all of this because "oh it gets better" people have been saying that for well over half of my life. I was six or seven years old when I asked my mother to kill me, and that same level of desperation and bitterness has only gotten worse as time goes by. when does it get better? I'll tell you when it gets better, after I'm in prison or comatose or forty five years old with a cane and bad eyes and high blood pressure and lung cancer from all the secondhand smoke I've breathed in my life. when my life is over, that's when it gets better. I DONT WANT THAT. I WANT A NORMAL FUCKING LIFE RIGHT NOW. I WANT NORMAL FRIENDSHIPS AND A NORMAL HOME AND A NORMAL EDUCATION AND A NORMAL CAREER AND A NORMAL FAMILY. or at least I want someone to hold me and make me feel like I'm not so horrible and broken that I can't be touched.

but that's too much to ask for.

[daveisverydeactivated]

man okay so reading callout posts is so fucking difficult i saw one abt s/ix/pen/ce/ee and i read through,,,, most of it? but it was all links which turns out to be a lil taxing on my brain and stuff, idek why. and then, a lot of it was good points and stuff ppl shouldnt do, like steal stuff or defend bad stuff. but some of it was just, tiny little things? small slipups, things like that. being perfect is a nice concept, but everyone accidentally says something is "crazy" or something on occasion. a while back, i accidentally offended ha/rv/ey/ch/an (i think thats the right url idk ill go check) by reblogging a jo/hn/da/ve post they made and saying something along the lines of "this isnt my otp (ja/da/ve) but its rlly cute!!" turns out, that was rude. this was in like, spring 2015, alright? i was like, 11. (yes, a rare mention of my age. this is how u kno im serious as i make this post.) i was new to the homestuck fandom, and also slowly realizing that i was pan and somehow managing to both accept and shy away from anything remotely-un-heterosexual, because thats what being split between a loving accepting family and a cruel, unaccepting society through all of your formative years does, besides make u need therapy. anyways, i made this comment, and then harvey replied to me in some way. i dont honestly remember if it was by reblogging the copy of the post with my comment on it or by sending me an ask or what, but i cried. (that was around the same time that i realized i definitely had depression, by the way, cuz this somehow made me suicidal. harvey, if yr reading this, i 100% do not blame u for any of my mental issues, i mostly blame my childhood trauma, and im fully aware of the fact that u (almost definitely? i mean i actually dunno) didnt rlly mean me any harm. i hope.) anyways, i cried a fuckin lot. i deleted my reblog of the post and sent harvey an ask basically begging for forgiveness, cuz, okay, again, i was 11 and had never pissed somebody on the internet off before and honestly kinda scared for my wellbeing because id heard horror stories abt ppl being like, physically hunted down for huge mistakes like the one i thought id made. i have anxiety issues, in case u havent noticed. bad ones. but anyways, they said it was okay, if i remember correctly. i actually dont remember at all. im just really hoping they said it was okay because i prefer to give people benefit of the doubt. they vagueposted abt me around that time, ranting abt how "if it isnt ja/da/ve it shouldnt matter" or something like that. ig they were the first person to vagueblog abt me, so thats pretty cool. i guess. and that experience has stuck with me for these two fucking years. slightly more than two years, actually. im still following them out of guilt. i havent looked at their blog in like, forever, but sometimes a post they reblogged floats across my dash and i get hit with a fresh wave of guilt. i actually think this is why i have such bad associations with johndave. well shit. i just realized that. but basically, a few months later, i saw a post of theirs that stated, among some other stuff that i dont remember, that they had bad associations with da/ve/ja/de (or something). i already felt guilty, mind u, as i feel guilty every time i make someone feel unhappy, unless i rlly hate them, but that made me feel even more guilty, since u never kno whatll make ppl feel bad. anyways, if a callout post was made abt me, and it included something that small, id probably end up pretty screwed up. if someone called me out for constantly vagueblogging abt my ex, thatd b different. i mean, she vagueblogs abt me, too, but if somebody told me to stop because i was making them uncomfy, i would stop. and btw, if smthn i do makes u uncomfy, please speak up! anyways, i just dont think including such tiny little things in callout posts is a good idea. i mean, it makes u look a little desperate and unfounded, and it makes the person yr tryna call out feel like everyones out to get them (or it makes them feel like yr completely unfounded and just lookin for drama, prolly). basically, b careful with yr callout posts, alright?