#hahaha right okay rissy

[antriaus]

Ang hirap magsabi ng bagay na alam mong makakasakit sa iba, kaso dapat.

So I had to push someone away, again.. Mej may relief kasi ayoko naman na ipilit kung wala talagang feels at hindi aligned. Culture clash? Difference sa faith, values, and principles?

Bilib ako sa mga nagkaka tuluyang foreigner yung partner. Sakin nga ligaw pa lang, pero ramdam ko na struggles. Nakaka exhaust. Or not the right person lang talaga? Hindi naman language barrier, kasi nagkakaintindihan naman kami kahit pure English lang talaga usapan (since nahihilo sya sa Tagalog lol).

Wala ding bearing background nya, like kahit well-educated (Bachelor and Masters from US), hybrid (Fil-Am/Jap), from a *really* well-off family (sports/luxury cars, properties in the US, BGC penthouse, and Forbes Park), active lifestyle (sporty: golf once or twice a week, American football, basketball, and baseball), and physically attractive naman (chinito?). Like lakompake. Dito ko lang na-realize yung importance ng get to know each other. Siguro kung ibang babae to, g na agad. Haha Pero almost 1yr din (given the pandemic pa) na ligaw. But hats off sa consistent calls (kahit na madalas di ko masagot kapag di ko feel makipagusap sa mga tao) and openness? Tsaka efforts like bumisita sa bahay minsan since malapit lang golf course? Or siguro kaya ganun siya ka-eager to pursue me kasi he told that he finds me challenging, weird, and too critical? Idk.

Anyway, one more realization, kahit anong asset meron isang tao sa real world (kahit na un ung at par sa standard ng society), kapag inisip mo siya in long-term, kung walang trust, walang peace of mind, walang security, di aligned sa feels and values, or not mutual, wala din talaga. Mahirap ipilit. Di ka din magiging masaya kapag dumating pa sa mundane or even worst-case situations.

Or iba lang talaga yung confidence ko in being capable to provide for myself. Strong independent woman ung peg. Like 6-digits na @ 23? Hahahahaha o diba? Asawa na lang kulang. Charot. Or maybe I just learned how to be happy and contented with what I have. I mean I’m okay with just enough (and I’m sooo thankful to God’s blessing); and having more material things are not important as having your real great love for the rest of your life?

But seriously, don’t settle with a “dreamy” love life, kasi deep down alam mong hindi sya Great love.

Anyway, dami ko sinabi. Bale in summary, pinatigil ko na si Lewis manligaw.. And I’m completely okay. Hehe

--All pre-Covid/awkward days--

1st pic: We went to his Gramps’ art gallery-like penthouse unit (so many collections of paintings and sculptures omg) in BGC. First time to meet Tita Judith (Gramps’ 2nd wife). Then the three of us went to Manila Polo Club for a dinner with Lewis’ brother (Pao), Pao’s girlfriend (Rissy), and Rissy’s family. I’m still friends with Rissy even if they (Pao & Rissy) broke up months ago.

2nd pic: Visited his Gramps’ Foundation, had lunch in Eastwood, then we went to Manila Polo Club just to chill after his Gramps’ errands and then dinner right after.

3rd pic: He met my bestfriend, Nelsie (and Rod her fiancé). Struggle daw mag-English sabi ni Nelsie. Funny. Hahaha

Documenting this down here, para kapag dumating na ung tamang tao, at nabasa ko to, ih-high five ko sarili ko. Hahaha Praying for the right person. God’s will. ❤️

[bayernmunchkin-blog]

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