#hahkin my friend hahkin

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i should draw her more

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Master Namya’s pointy, loth-cat-like ears pricked upward as he rose from his crouched position, surprise on his face. “Kiki! By chance, is your class visiting the library at this moment?” He dusted off his deep brown robes, his tail swinging from side to side. He had an accent that Kiki liked, and sometimes if he was feeling good he’d teach Kiki a few words in any of the number of languages he knew.

“Nope.”

“Where is your class, then, darling? And Master Disuu? Have you come here by yourself?”

Kiki shrugged. “This is my friend Hahkin. I taught her how to use the Force, Master Namya!”

Hahkin bounced in place as she pumped her fists. “I can do this now!” With a moment of effort, she knocked the book Master Namya had been holding out of his hand. Then, she tried to call it back, but Master Namya caught it before Hahkin could whip the book into her own face.

He chuckled, a finger adjusting his glasses. “My, that’s quite impressive, young one! Does Master Disuu know you can do that?”

“No. But also I dunno who Master Disuu is.” Hahkin shrugged, mirroring her new friend. 

“Perhaps we can show your assigned Master your new skill—”

“Can we stay here?” Kiki asked, bouncing in place like Hahkin. Now that she’s been open to the Force for so long, she has more energy than usual. Master Disuu would always huff in frustration whenever Kiki got energetic like this, but she couldn’t help it. “Can you teach me how to say ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ in Mill-lil-lian again?”

“It’s Mirialan, and no, dearest, I cannot. You’ve got a class to be with!” Master Namya laid a large hand on both the girls’ heads to stop their bouncing. “Hef-ahli, you really did wander off, didn’t you?”

Kiki drifted to one of the plush chairs and threw herself across it with all the aggrieved flair a six-year-old could muster. “What’s hef-ahli?” Hahkin grabbed her own squishy chair and laid across it.

Master Namya’s tail twitched back and forth. “It’s how one sighs or says ‘oh my’ in Mirialan. It’s quite useful for little rascals like you, no?”

“Hef-ahli!” Kiki cried.

“Hef-ahli!” Hahkin parroted. 

Master Namya squatted down beside them so that all his height was almost as short as the kiddie shelves. “Let’s say we get back to—”

“Hello, hello…” an old woman’s voice croaked. Her can tapped the ground as she walked into the alcove. She was pale green in a soft, weathered way, and a thousand wrinkles lined her face. Even though her eyes drooped, her deep emerald eyes shone bright, and her head was topped with fluffy white hair like a cloud. 

Kiki stopped moping, not because of the intrusion but because of the accent that came with it. The old master was Verocian. Kiki stared. Besides Nirisa, Kiki didn’t know there were other Verocians in the whole temple. The old woman’s accent made the same pang in her chest that windows and warm light did. 

This was familiar. This felt safe. Not that Kiki had ever felt unsafe in the Temple, but this safe was different. Older, buried deep inside her. She knew this.

-- A snippet of the second chapter. Bernie belongs to the wonderful @jaigeye

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let us now consider the moment Kiki sees Hahkin and realizes it's really her, in the flesh after Order 66.

Hahkin's been trying to kill Jax. She thinks Jax is a danger to Kiki because she doesn't know about the chips and doesn't know Jax is safe. Kiki obviously puts herself between Jax and Hahkin and activates her lightsaber, ready to face off.

Hahkin pulls off her hood, then her mask. Kiki doesn't recognize her, not until Hahkin speaks and just says her name.

Then the Force opens, lets EVERYTHING in. Hahkin's Force signature, her small but constant presence that Kiki has known since they were six and seven years old. All the memories they shared, their most intimate moments.

Kiki's still got her lightsaber activated, but she's wide-eyed with shock and confusion. Her mind's completely ground to a halt and the only thought in her head is "I don't understand". Over and over and over. KIki felt Hahkin die. Kiki held a funeral for her. She moved on.

Hahkin steps down from the ledge she was on and carefully approaches Kiki, never once breaking eye contact. Hahkin puts her hand over Kiki's and deactivates her lightsaber. Then she lays a hand on Kiki's face, saying "it's me".

Once again: "I don't understand." Kiki almost believe it's her. It's got to be a trick of some kind. Maybe her use of the Dark Side of the Force is catching up to her. Maybe resisting the Force's touch is putting hallucinations in her head.

"It's me, Kiki. I'm alive."

I don't know if they hug at this point or if Jax interrupts them. I think Kiki's able to gather her wits enough to explain that Jax isn't going to hurt her, he's got his chip out, and they should all go. Notably, Kiki doesn't think twice about inviting Hahkin back to her home or being in close quarters with her on the ship.

To jax's credit he's actually taking everything in stride, despite the attempted killing bit. Kiki and Jax are in the cockpit and their way back and Hahkin is in another room because it's clear Kiki needs time to process the shock of it. Jax says she should go talk to Hahkin. Kiki says "I'm scared it's not really her".

"Go talk to her, Kiki."

"And say what?"

"Whatever needs to be said. Just go."

So Kiki shuffles off to the quarters they gave Hahkin. She's sitting on the bed. Kiki's still standing and just being awkward, but she feels bad because she knows Hahkin was expecting a more warm and welcome response than what Kiki gave her.

Hahkin pulls her shirt off to change it (it's nasty and gross) and reveals a series of blaster scars on her chest and stomach. There's one on her chest, almost dead center. Kiki's eyes fixate on it, and she reaches out and touches it. It's real. Hahkin says something to the effect of "That one almost got me, but I pulled through."

Kiki: I felt you die

Hahkin: I did die. For three minutes and thirteen seconds, I was phsyiologically dead. After they shot me, they put my body in a tent. The med droid got to me, did CPR and, when my life signs all faded away, shocked my heart. I came back.

Kiki: I didnt feel you come back.

Hahkin: but you feel me now, don't you?

Kiki does -- bright and alive. She pulls Hahkin in for a hug and finally accepts that her best friend survived.

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The original JaKi story was quite a bit forced to be honest. Jax was in crusade squad and Kiki was still a Jedi general but they barely interacted and then somehow somehow they're endgame post O66

and I tried to see how i could make it so that Kiki and Jax actually have a connection before they start their relationship after they both escape the GAR/Empire, but it was still feeling forced. I kept skipping over that immediate escape bit because it didn't occur to me that I actually could write through them getting to know one another (inexperienced writer)

and then I realized kiki doesn't need to have reciprocal feelings for Jax. she can be a slowburn/aro type of person 100%. I'd already set up her an Hahkin and her and Bliz in a similar fashion in terms of unreciprocated romantic feelings.

And Jax has his own journey with kiki, though he goes through it by himself: learning not to put her on a pedestal because she's a Jedi + he likes her. The former was what the Kaminoans taught them. That the Jedi are surreal serene gods who can do anything. Kiki is rather outgoing, energetic, blunt, and boisterous. She admits when she can't or doesn't want to do something. She makes mistakes. she gets in her head. Jax had to go from justifying or excusing her mistakes to himself and others to saying "No, she fucked up and if I have to tell her, I'll tell her"

Jax also suffered loads of verbal abuse from a drill sergeant on Kamino, which led to him having anxiety and self esteem/confidence issues. He's been working on it since he graduated if only because Edger has always been a steadfast believer in his capabilities. part of how Jax copes with his own poor view of himself is by believing in and encouraging others. He's patient, gentle, and understanding. He has to learn how to view himself as a person with valid desires and opinions rather than always shoving his own wants/needs aside.

But I also want to make Jax and Kiki friends before they both leave! yes at first Jax is terrified of Kiki, Kiki can sense that he has feelings for her, but she doesn't reciprocate them and she likes Jax's temperament and general personality. There may or may not be a bit of her teasing him just to see him get flushed when she stands next to him. She doesnt torture him though aksjdhfals

But they have really good conversations and quite a few private moments that help Jax to humanize and de-pedestalize Kiki. Times where she's training him with a bo staff or they're just stretching or its after a battle and she's checking up on him. And he, despite his nerves and fluttery feelings, does try more and more to do the same with her. The second she stops having god status in his head and he's able to talk to her like a person is when he fully falls in love with her.

so they're friends! I've got me a lil slow burn friends to lovers romance going on, which I like because it adds variety to how I normally handle my romances. Kiki doesnt really start looking at Jax as a viable partner option until he makes it clear he's also interested in being a father to her baby.

But I want a more concrete journey for Jax that doesn't revolve around his anxiety and his romance with Kiki. I've struggled with this problem for years. For instance, Ridge is one of my richest characters in terms of development + story. He's got a whole other life he keeps secret to cope with both the war + the PTSD he acquired from sexual abuse as a child on Kamino. He has identity issues and doesn't like being a clone because he thinks being a clone is why he was abused. He acts out a lot. And then he has a mirrored relationship with Bliz and they both take out their control issues on each other. But they both are friends with Kiki.

Maybe Jax's more abstract story line works for him? he's not flying toward a specific end point like ridge is. idk.

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Listen ever since you revealed Hahkin I have been thinking about her on a loop. Rotating her in my mind if you will. I love how she loves Kiki, and Kiki loves her back, but if I'm interpreting their relationship correctly, Kiki isn't in love with her, the way Hahkin is. And Hahkin is never going to bring it up, because Kiki is happy with Jax. I also love the idea of her constantly moving, constantly reaching out and interacting with the world-- the parts not necessarily good for a monk. (1/2)

I love that to the other Jedi, so many of them are focused on being the 'luminous beings' but Hahkin interacts with the 'crude matter' on a daily, regular basis. She is a real person, with vices and virtues and flaws, and not just a stone statue the way the Order tried to be in later years before its fall. But at the same time, Hahkin is a Jedi. She has passed every test put before her, and she's part of the main corps. She is everything they said she could not be, and she is more besides. (2/2)

omg...omg an analysis about one of my OCs? yo i appreciate this so much, while I'd been aware that she was more grounded in a way, it ever occurred to me that she was so because she's the "Crude matter" side of things. Compaired to Hahkin, Kiki (from Hahkins POV) is the "luminous being"--she's strong in the Force, she can wield it almost however she wants. she's always doing something grand, something magnificent--whether for the war or outside the war or even in personality .

i dont want hahkin to put kiki on a pedestal, but you know how sometimes you have a friend that almost exists beyond your comprehension? they're cool, theyre epic, and so you look up p to them. kind of like "how did i manage to be friends with this person"? thats hahkin @ kiki. she loves her dearly. although hahkin never exploring those feelings or confiding them to kiki is more a result of her Jedi training--Jax doesn't come into the picture years later, when Hahkin is unfortunately already dead. Hahkin respects where their friendship is now. She likes that they can be as close as they are. She's still following the "no attachment'" rule of the Jedi (at least, the TCW interpretation of the rule) but in all honesty, if Hahkin and kiki were to start a relationship, I think neither would struggle with letting the other person go if they had to, at least not for the majority of the war. If they were to break up, they'd still love each other very much. But yes, the slight romantic feelings Hahkin has for Kiki are unrequited.

(if Hahkin were to die, well then that would be a different story altogether)

But Hahkin looks up to Kiki because Kiki always believed in her, right from day one. She didn't care that Hahkin was weak in the Force, she didn't care that Hahkin wasn't as academically smart and for a while was kind of a slow kid. Kiki didn't care about any of that, and she frankly didn't notice the difference in their Force abilities in terms of strength--Hahkin couldn't form a deep connection with it, and Kiki couldn't comfortably connect with it. Hahkin's persistence inspired Kiki. They've always pushed each other.

And for that, Hahkin was ready to go wherever Kiki went, up to and including leaving the Order entirely. But she left too late and ended up getting killed in Order 66.

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Oh yeah my actors and actresses AU, where everyone is in the entertainment industry.

Kiki is a famous actress, and Bliz is her bf and a famous actor. They've been dating for three years. All the wild chemistry and fanfare and buzz you'd expect from two of like the hottest people in Hollywood. Jax is a famous screenwriter and director but he likes to stay out of the spotlight but there's speculation he may be in love with Kiki, based on how he acts in interviews 🫣

Edger works in sound design. Cord's not famous, he's just a doctor. He specifically doesn't want to be part of that life. Idk about Ratchet but Marik can be in costume and make up.

Ridge is a famous musician, pop w RnB influences me thinks. Anything for those runs. Writes most of his own music, can act and dance AMAZINGLY, also really young? He's 18 here and topping charts left and right, getting all these features, showing up at all these events. Hes friends with everyone. Still hates Bliz. They don't even hide their animosity for each other fhaksbamsn. Public family feud bro these two are cousins. The way social media blew up when that family connection was discovered was insane.

Jango is all their grandpa, and Kiki's known all of them for some years before they became Hugely Famous. Hahkin is a super model and Sunlaou is a music producer.

Ridge was in and out of foster homes as a child til he turned 18. Or maybe he was an emancipated minor. Either way that's kinda why he slipped through the cracks of the family tree otherwise at least one of Jangos family members would have picked him up.