#halo and all her carrier before top gun and everything

[missathlete31]

Nowhere To Run- Chapter 3

Hangman was never going to be able to leave Top Gun completely unscathed right?

Chapter 1- https://www.tumblr.com/missathlete31/711886634060300288/nowhere-to-run-chapter-1

Chapter 2- https://www.tumblr.com/missathlete31/712038701885177856/nowhere-to-run-chapter-2

(WARNING- This chapter is just as dramatic and apparently "Hangman loving". If that's not your thing, please just don't read. I really don't need anymore ANON messages about how stupid this story is.....

Three days after his confrontation with Maverick and Rooster, Hangman was alone in his base apartment, packing up the last of his stuff and preparing to leave. It wasn’t much, Jake never really bothered to collect the trinkets and knick-knacks that some of his teammates did, but he could be a bit meticulous when it came to his packing; everything needing to be folded, neat and orderly and in their proper place so he gave himself plenty of time.

He was packing because Admiral Simpson had pulled through, getting the paper work all sorted and a flight out to Pearl was set up for Jake this evening. After he landed he had about an hour before another transport was taking off, getting Hangman back on the carrier with the rest of the Vigilantes by the next morning, ready to begin scouting missions by that afternoon.

The prospect of being back on deployment was both reassuring and bittersweet for Jake. He craved the order of carrier deployment; the instructions, the discipline and the almost monotony of the days. He excelled in situations like that, the lack of family or any person beside Coyote who gave a damn about him making Jake survive the long months easier than he did when he was back stateside. At least on the carrier he could pretend he had something to go home to.

However this time around leaving also provided the pilot some sadness. Now that he had declined the position with the Daggers he was allowed to stand down for the past 72 hours, giving the young man a chance to enjoy North Island and San Diego without the shadow of a suicide mission or team tensions. Jake spent his time running along the beach, relishing in the sunshine, and doing touristy things he normally wouldn’t have time for. He and Javy took an afternoon to walk the world famous San Diego zoo, acting like goofy teenagers as they checked out all the exhibits and compared the attractiveness of some of the grizzlier animals to unfortunate CO’s and instructors that they had suffered through since flight school.

It was the most relaxed Jake could remember being in a long time but like all good things in his life, he knew it had a cessation date. He was leaving once more and just like Hangman, Coyote had his own shipping out orders for a few days after the blonde. Although it wasn’t with the Dagger Squad.

Javy had confirmed Natasha’s words from the other day. After Hangman’s outburst, and Bradshaw’s storm out that Mitchell chased after him for, a lot of the Daggers changed their mind about making it a permanent squad, Javy being one of them. Coyote, Omaha, and Halo were heading to Lemoore within a week, Harvard and Yale heading to the East Coast a few days after. Phoenix had not rescinded her acceptance, in a move that disappointed Jake but didn’t surprise him. The person who did though was none other than Baby-On-Board Floyd. Bob had been the first after Jake to back out of the Dagger squad, the bespectacled man already back with his crew since yesterday. Jake was lucky to have caught him before he left, the two men shaking hands and wishing the other well. It wasn't quite a friendship between them but at least an understanding. Jake hoped he got the chance to fly with Bob again, and he knew he wasn’t the only one. According to Javy, Nat had been crushed when her back-seater bailed. Jake had thought about reaching out to Phoenix to console her but ultimately chickened out, not wanting to deal with the woman's wrath again so soon since the last time (even if they had ended up on fairly better terms).

Jake ended his musings and caught a glance at the time, cursing himself when he noticed he was a few minutes behind to meet Javy for a late breakfast. It was going to be the last time the duo saw each other for a few months, Hangman leaving in just a few short hours. Though Jake knew they would be texting and calling whenever they got a moment, nothing ever compared to being in the same room as his best friend; their years of history and familiarity breaking down the walls Hangman usually kept around others. Javy was his brother.

He arrived at the diner and hurried inside, not surprised to see it virtually empty. It wasn’t the most popular location despite its closeness to base. Coyote claimed it was because they didn’t use real edible ingredients in their food but Jake, who grew up on Mac and Cheese, Chef Boyardee and whatever else he could manage to make when his parents forgot to feed him, actually liked it. Javy usually stuck with coffee and toast.

He approached the booth and saw just that, Javy munching on some bread as he scrolled through his phone. When he noticed Jake he instantly smiled, his eyes crinkling, “thought you were standing me up there Seresin, got a little worried.”

“Me? Stand you up?” Jake jeered back, “never.”

Coyote waved a dismissive hand playfully, “Eh, I bet you tell all your other best friends that.”

The blonde shrugged into the booth chair, sliding to the middle to be across from his friend, “nah just the top 100 or so.” He smiled as Coyote barked out a laugh, loud and boisterous just like his personality. When he settled once more, Javy motioned to the other coffee cup and the silverware waiting, “Got you a coffee, and ordered you some of those monstrosities you consider eggs and sausage. Should be out any minute.”

“You spoil me” Jake deadpanned but his own smile brightened.

“Don’t forget it” Javy chided watching as Jake took a sip of his drink and inhaled the sweet smell of the caffeine. A haggard waitress appeared, banging Jake’s plate of breakfast to the tabletop with not a word of preamble. “Thank you Ma’am” Jake flashed a sweet smile but the older woman just rolled her eyes and moved back towards the kitchen desponded. Undeterred the blonde reached for his fork and started to shovel in his eggs, ignoring the disgusted look of his best friend as he watched. “Mmm” Jake’s shoulders relaxed as he exhaled almost obscenely, “I’m gonna miss this place” he shared reverently.

Coyote’s nose twitched in offense, “okay first off ew, and second, that’s just strange man, considering I’m pretty sure those sausages were cooked in leftover jet fuel.” He motioned to the offending food, the linked sausages looking suspiciously well-done, and with a weird blackened liquid glistening on top of them, “They look like they are made of tar.”

Jake tore his eyes away from his food long enough to roll them, “You’re just jealous” he squabbled before taking a link and moaning, “oh yeah” he murmured.

The other man laughed again, “Right, I’ll be super jealous when you’re shitting rivets.”

Jake smirked, enjoying the camaraderie and banter that only came when he was with his best friend. It was just so easy around Javy, so peaceful; Jake able to be his true authentic self without concern or self-consciousness. The two continued their breakfast, chatting lightly about nonsense until their plates where cleared and Jake assumed they would head out. However instead of asking for the check Javy asked for a coffee refill for each of them clearly indicating he wasn’t quite ready to end their outing just yet.

Assuming he was trying to soak up the most time he could with his friend before Jake’s flight later in the day, Hangman thought nothing of it, turning instead to watch the stragglers out on the sidewalk as Mo, the disgruntled waitress refilled each of their mugs.

Once Mo left them with another bordering sigh of hatred, Jake turned back to Javy and watched as his best friend’s shoulder hitched slightly as though he were uncomfortable. Immediately Hangman felt his guard going up, concern lacing his features as he stared his friend down. “What is it?” Jake asked, always able to read the man across from him and knowing Javy could play the silence game for a long damn time.

The other man squirmed a little in the booth, playing with a few sweet and low packets, and balancing them against each other like a teepee, “so you know how I told you most of the Daggers ended up quitting the squad after the big blow out?”

“Yeah” Jake nodded, remembering how Javy had found him the night after the confrontation. Jake was sitting up in his apartment watching the TV when Coyote had explained about how some of the others had been talking and withdrawn their acceptances. Jake, who had already been feeling the confliction that only time gives a person after such a major decision, had turned almost grey at the news. His eyes turned wide and a bit lost; the guilt and insecurity drowning him. Luckily Javy was a true friend, spending the night with Jake and watching trashy shows and sports until the blonde was able to look up and meet his best friend's eye instead of the endless apologies he had been uttering about Coyote losing his chance at the posting of a lifetime.

Jake snapped back to reality as he watched Javy's face contort across from him. The other man was clearly worried about how his next few words would be received. Hangman, who patience was never his best quality, leaned forward, "what is it Javy?"

"It’s Payback" the other pilot finally shared, still uneasy as he added some more sweet and lows around his original triangle. “He’s out.”

Jake didn’t fully comprehend, his eyes watching Coyote’s hands playing while his mind tried to wrap around his words, “Out of what? The Daggers?”

“Yeah kinda,“ Javy frowned, clearly struggling to find the right words, “don’t freak out or anything but he’s not just turning down the Dagger Squad, he’s not reenlisting.”

“What!”

Javy’s voice tried to appear nonchalant but it was clear he thought it was a bigger deal as well. “He decided not to re-enlist, once his two months are done he's out.”

Jake shook his head, not believing the words he was hearing. “No way man, he wouldn't. He's not going to leave Mickey like that.”

The other man shrugged, “Well I don't know about Fanboy but Payback's leaving.” He knocked down his sugar packet fortress and moved to make it again, his fingers continually moving as they always did when he was talking about things he didn’t want to. “He told me this morning when I saw him at the gym. Said it was all pretty much settled.”

"Seriously? You're not shitting with me right?"

Javy looked un-amused, his eyebrow raised in a challenge, "I wouldn't joke about something like that, ya dick."

"You would but- ow" Jake felt Coyote's leg hit him solidly under the table, and he flinched at the sting, "fine,” he admitted, “yeah, you wouldn't kid like that." Hangman looked down at the table, cupping his coffee mug tightly in his left hand, “Shit he’s really done?” he looked back at the darker skinned man, “like done-done?”

“Done-done” Javy confirmed, “already sent the paper work through Cyclone, who probably also hates you for forcing all this additional secretarial duties across his desk-“

“He should hate me, this is all my fault.”

His best friend grimaced, concern in his dark eyes when his joke didn’t land, “hey man- come on, I was trying to kid-“

“No” the blonde stated as thought it were undeniable, “it’s true. I destroyed the most elite squad the Navy’s ever seen, forced Admiral Simpson to have more work after he went to bat for me how many times and now Payback is quitting- shit-“

Javy’s hands stopped playing with the sugar to focus on his best friend, “okay first off” he held up his pointer finger, “you didn’t do anything except stand up for yourself and your opinions, which were right by the way. Second” he added the middle digit, “Screw Simpson and his paperwork, the man gave me latrine duty that time that my shirt was un-tucked” the man lamented, “and it was after chili day" he shuddered from the memory, "I hope the asshole got a paper cut that stings like a bitch.” Javy felt a bit of vindication when he noticed Jake’s lips twitch with a smile, “And third,” another finger was added to the other two, “Payback is a grown man, you don’t know what his reasoning was.”

“But he had already agreed to be on the squad,” Jake grumbled, “then he hears me say all that crap about how Rooster could have killed him seven different ways and he drops. What else could it be from? I should have kept my mouth shut. Shit I ruin everything.”

Javy’s face morphed into the perfect mix of exasperation, worry and fondness that he had trademarked just for his best friend. He lowered his chin a little to try to meet Hangman's eyes, “Jake, you can’t blame yourself. Nothing you said in that room was wrong and you know it.”

“I know” and Jake did. He was right in his convictions, he knew that, but his mind continually tried to make things more complicated for the 32 year old. He shook himself, “Payback is a great pilot, he can’t just quit.”

“It’s not quitting, he’s done more than his fair share of service-“

“I know, I just” Jake ran a hand through his blonde hair, “I think I should talk to him.”

Javy shrugged, “I don’t think you’re going to change his mind.”

“Maybe not” he reasoned, “but I need to say something. This is on me man, no matter what you try to say.”

Coyote sighed deeply, clearly annoyed by the martyr-ism of his companion, “fine” the man conceded, “he was hanging out on base for the day. I’ll drive you over now” he told him, signaling the waitress for the check.

Jake felt a twinge of guilt, realizing he was cutting his time with his best friend short. Coyote however, always a mind reader when it came to Jake Seresin, just scoffed, and rolled his eyes, “you can make up for it by buying me some McDonald’s breakfast on the way, I’m still hungry.”

“Why didn’t you finish your toast?”

“That toast was moldy dude, I’d prefer not to end up puking my guts out later.”

It was Hangman’s turn to bristle, as they both left some cash on the table and headed for the exit, “mold adds flavor” he offered with a laugh, “and besides, I’ve watched you put a lot worse in that stomach over the years.” It earned him a kick to the back of his leg, Jake almost tripping, but both men were smiling brightly as they passed their waitress, her scowl making them lose it with their chuckles even more.

After a quick bit stop at McDonald’s Javy dropped Jake off at base to find Reuben. Hangman checked the gym and weight room first but found it surprisingly empty, then headed to a few lecture rooms and the mess hall but still couldn’t find the other pilot. He was about to give up hope when he noticed a figure about a quarter mile out running the old tarmacs, the size and coloring matching Payback’s description, and the course one of the man’s favorites. Though he was dressed in a regular t-shirt and jeans, Jake hurried outside and ran to catch up. Sprinting the last few meters, Jake reached a hand out to Reuben’s shoulder, startling the runnner and almost earning Jake a hit to the face when the taller man turned around swinging.

“Hangman?” Payback questioned, surprise clear on his face and in his tone, “what the hell are you doing out here?”

“Can we talk?” Jake gasped out, a little winded from his full on sprint. He ran a hand through his hair self-consciously, inwardly wincing when the other man didn’t answer right away. Payback's head tilted to the side, sizing up Jake's disheveled appearance with an unreadable expression. He looked to take pity on the man though as he motioned back towards the base with a nod, "I figured this was coming” the man shared knowingly, “come on" he urged leading them both back inside.

Jake followed wordlessly, waiting until they made it all the way back to the ready room a few minutes later and taking a seat on his normal armchair. Reuben, grabbing a water bottle and swallowing a long swig, moved for the couch. They both sat silently for a moment before Jake, always eager to get the first word even if it's an apology, cleared his throat. "Look I- um, I wanted to say-"

"It's not your fault."

The blonde pilot's eyes shot up quickly, "what?"

"I said" Payback spoke slower, annunciating each word, "that it’s not your fault.”

“You don’t even know what I was going to say” Hangman moved to argue, not liking being thrown off his game, “I wanted to-“

“Apologize?” and the other man seemed to have the edge of an amused smile on his lips, “because you heard from Javy that I’m not re-enlisting and now that little Hangman brain of yours think that it’s your fault.”

“Well it is-“

“No” Reuben shook his head, his expression mildly fond, “it’s not. My decision was made because it’s what I wanted, not anyone else.”

Jake refused to listen to such nonsense, "How can that be true” he questioned, “When you had just signed on to be a part of the most elite squadron the Navy could offer?”

The other man merely hummed, “Maybe I didn't really want to join?" he offered as way of explanation, stealing another sip of water, “ever think of that?”

Jake’s eyes shot up, "Wait what? You didn't?"

Reuben shrugged, "I was on the fence about it from the very start. I know it's not the best reasoning, but I really just didn't want to be the lone holdout” at the look from the man across from him Payback raised a hand in acquiescence. “Don't get me wrong” he amended, “I love to fly and being with that squadron meant the chance at opportunities I might never have anywhere else, but" he looked down at his left hand where in a few short months Jake knew a wedding band would be, "it also means danger, it means sacrifice. It means that one day if I'm lucky enough to bring children into this world with Jackie, I might leave them all."

It was more than a sound argument but Jake still couldn’t help but feel dreadful for how he reacted in the hangar, “I’m sorry though” the blonde offered in consideration, “for what I said. I kinda threw you under the bus out there the other day.”

“No” Payback disagreed, “you used me as an example and technically you weren’t wrong.” He met Jake’s eyes, “The night after we docked, after all the parties, I couldn’t stop thinking about it all, how close it had been for all of us. It" the older man closed his eyes, "It was too close.” He opened them again to see Jake still staring, “your words drove the point a little more home but it was more your actions.”

"I'm sorry I didn’t mean to make it worse for you" Jake cut in once more but he was waved off. “You didn't” Reuben reasoned easily enough, “All you did was say no to the squad. It showed me that I could too and then I just kept thinking it over. I realized I want to be home with my fiancé, I want to start a family, and I want to be there for them.”

“What about Mickey?”

Payback smiled warmly, “I served with Fanboy for three years, and he’s a great back-seater, but he still wants to fly. He’s young; he’s still got things to prove” the look he sent Jake’s way was telling, “I know a lot of you feel that way. I did too for most of my career. I don’t feel that anymore.”

“So what do you feel?”

“Content” and Reuben’s voice sounded it. One look at the man showed a relaxed posture, a calming aura that put Jake naturally at ease. He pondered Payback’s words and wondered a little enviously if he would ever reach the point in his career where he was content enough to let it all go. Hangman didn’t think he was strong enough.

A clearance of a throat snapped Jake’s attention back to the man in front of him. “You’ll get there too someday” the man informed him, as though it were one of life’s great secrets.

“Right” Jake felt a blush rise his cheeks, knowing his previous thoughts were ousted. He switched topics quickly, “so Fanboy’s just letting you go?” the blonde asked with a wink, "no dramatics?"

“Oh he’s pissed” Reuben laughed, “worried he’ll get stuck with some cocky pilot with a Texas slang that thinks he’s God’s gift to aviation.” Jake offered a middle finger salute in response that erupted more chuckles from his teammate. Reuben's face wrinkled with his grin, “But nah man, Mickey’s alright, he gets it. He knows how much I miss Jackie when we’re deployed.”

“So that’s it. Two more months and then you’re just another retired Veteran.”

“Well I’m not being put out to pasture if that’s what you’re implying” Payback’s eyes were bright and warm, the tension of their suicide mission and any other possible mission floated away with their last docking, “I’m going to finish up at Pensacola and then Jackie and I will finish wedding planning. After the honeymoon I’m thinking of taking a position as a flight instructor. It’s not the Navy but it’s still a chance in the air.”

Jeez" Jake couldn't contain his sly smirk as he gave a fake wince, "teaching the public how to fly, now I really feel bad."

"I'll teach them to fly circles around you Hangman" Payback mocked teasingly.

The blonde scowled, "like that could ever happen."

As a comforting silence fell, Jake took one last moment to make his peace, "so we're good man?" he asked, "no hard feeling?"

"Yes" Reuben nodded in exasperation, "we're fine. Unless you try to apologize again! I mean come on, twice already? Who are you and what did you do with the real Hangman Seresin?"

The joke earned a smile from the blonde's lips as he also rolled his eyes, "yeah, yeah" he feigned annoyance but in reality Jake gladly took the ribbing. He liked Payback, and he respected the hell out of him; having him be collateral damage in his confrontation the other day was never his intent and it was a relief to see the other man held no ill will.

“Wellif we're good then I got to finish packing up” Jake informed, straightening himself as he stood. His shirt was wrinkled a bit and he smoothed it down, ever appearance conscious.

“Yeah, shipping out tomorrow right?” Reuben motioned to his wristwatch.

“Tonight actually” Hangman corrected, “21:00.”

Payback whistled, “damn always hated the night flights.”

Jake shrugged, never finding them particular bad personally, “they’re not so bad. Plus it will get me to Pearl just in time for the first transport in the morning. Be on the carrier in time for drills.”

“Schedule down to a tee, like always” Payback chided, standing as well and offering Jake his hand, which he shook heartily. “Well” the taller man drawled, "I'd say it's been a pleasure serving with you but to be honest most of the time you've been a dick."

Jake laughed wholeheartedly, his green eyes alive with merriment. "Yeah” he conceded, “that's fair”

"But it has been an honor getting to be your friend" Payback finished fondly, a knowing smile on his face as he watched Jake blink back in surprise, a touching amount of emotion hinting on the blonde’s face. Reuben patted the other man’s shoulder reassuringly, "Don't be a stranger Seresin, I expect to see you at my wedding."

Jake composed himself enough to give a cheeky smirk, “only if you sit me with the single bridesmaids.”

“Hey, one of them is my little sister” the other man warned good-naturally, “You even look at her with that damn ‘I’m a cool guy watch me with my toothpick trick’, I will murder you.”

“So you think my toothpick trick is cool?” Jake teased to Reuben’s playful eye roll, “yeah sure Seresin, makes me absolutely wild.”

The two parted ways, Jake heading to go back to his apartment while Payback went to finish his run. Striding through the halls of Top Gun for a final time before deployment, Jake couldn’t help the fond memories of the time he competed for the trophy. Up against the best of the best including Phoenix and Rooster, Jake had ended up winning it all and shattering records. When he was presented the top prize by none other than Admiral Kazansky (the man who’s records he beat), Hangman had never felt more sure of his place in the world. He belonged in the sky. One day, when he found the contentment that Payback had talked about, Jake hoped he could take up Admiral Simpson’s offer and teach back here in Miramar, if only to find another kid like him looking for his spot amongst the clouds.

Just as quickly as it came though, Hangman’s positivity disappeared from the emergence of another in the hall.

Before he died when Jake was six, Jake's grandfather always used to say that if Seresins didn't have bad luck they wouldn't have luck at all. Of course that was after a day at the Texas rodeo, when his Papaw spent most of his paycheck betting on long shots and losers and then used the rest on drinking the memories away. But Jake still remembered that old adage, and never had it felt more true than when he came face to face with an equally surprised but much angrier Bradley Bradshaw. Damn that Papaw, he had a point.

No chance of getting out of Miramar completely unscathed it seemed.

At first both pilots seemed to be unsure what to do. They stared at each other, green eyes meeting brown, the first challenge of the gauntlet thrown and neither one turning around in fear of conceding ground.

"Heard you're shipping out tonight" Bradley started, cautiously, like a lion stalking its prey and waiting to strike.

Jake nodded, "yup" he popped the 'p' at the end to be extra annoying, "just finishing up some things here before I go."

Bradley's eyes narrowed, "so that's it huh?" he unconsciously walked a little closer to the blonde, his voice not raised but the temper there, "blow everything to shit and then run with your tail between your legs while everyone else is left with the fallout."

"I know" Hangman sneered back, "weird right? Considering that's usually your M.O."

Bradley faltered a moment, his mouth opened for a quick retort before he thought better of it. Instead he took another step closer, the two men merely inches away from each other now. “Well I’ll be glad to see you gone” he informed with no small amount of malice.

Hangman threw both hands up in unimpressed gesture, “the feeling is mutual” he notified, moving from around Rooster’s body and going about his way, “see you never Rooster-“

“I’m not done” the brunette called out, stopping Jake in his tracks. “I want to know if you’re happy now” Bradley asked, pure venom in his tone, "knowing half the team dropped because of you."

Jake couldn't help his exaggerated eye roll as he shifted back down the hallway, "of course Bradshaw, there you go again, no accountability." A hand gripping the back of his shirt paused his movements, Jake turning around to see Rooster had caught up and now refused to let him go. "My accountability? You're the one that had the melt down in the hangar the other day,” Bradley goaded, “where you basically told them all they were going to die under Mav's tutoring."

Jake shook his head, "I didn't-" but his words were cut off as Bradley yanked his khaki shirt back and spun the blonde hard into the wall. Jake's head connected with the sheetrock in a bit of a daze though he wasn't going to allow the wince to cross his face, declining to give Bradley even that tiny bit of satisfaction.

"Maverick is the reason we are all home alive you asshole” Rooster stated frankly, his teeth boring with anger. “His teaching got the mission done, no casualties-"

"Not from lack of trying on his or your own damn part-" Jake should have expect the punch but still Bradley's fist connecting with the side of his mouth caught him painfully unaware. He would have staggered back by the sheer force of it but the other man kept him pinned, and Jake instead lulled his head down as the irony taste of blood filled his mouth. He swallowed it down, not degrading himself or the base with spitting it out and scrunched his own hand into a fist that met Bradley's cheek with an audible smack. Rooster finally released Jake, his body naturally backing up as he let out a hiss that Jake couldn't deny made him more than a little pleased.

Both men matched glares and suddenly their fight turned into a wrestling match. Each guy launching themselves at the other as they pushed, pulled, tugged, and grappled. Limbs were sprawling wildly, and Jake caught an elbow to his temple before another slammed his gut and knocked the wind out of him with a huff. He held his own though; Rooster might have had some pounds on him but Jake was always quicker and he managed to wiggle out of a particularly tight hold to trip the bigger man up over his own feet. With Rooster on the ground, Jake capitalized, throwing his body on top and landing a knee to Bradshaw’s abdomen. Bradley moved to roll them over, using his weight to pin Jake to the ground before he reared his fist back to land another punch. Jake closed his eyes anticipating another hit before a strangled yell paused their rumble.

Hondo was sprinting down the hallway, his face livid as he took in the two pilots. He reached them quickly despite his size, ripping Bradley off of Jake before holding out a hand as the blonde jumped up to continued the attack. When Rooster moved back in close as well, the naval specialist pushed Bradley back towards one wall before shoving Hangman towards another. As the two pilots panted and struggled to get back both their breaths and their bearings, the older man narrowed his eyes in fury. “Lieutenants" Hondo growled out, "what the hell do you think you're doing!"

"He started it" Jake automatically argued, wincing not only for the strain it caused his bleeding lip but also at how he sounded like a five year old. Hondo raised an eyebrow before turning to Rooster. Under the accusatory gaze Bradley wilted slightly, the bruise forming on his cheek bone more pronounced, "he deserved it" the man offered back.

"Well I don't care who started it" Hondo looked at Jake with daggers, "or who deserved it" he turned the sharp gaze back to Bradley. "You are both supposed to be Lieutenants in the Navy, you are both supposed to be the best of the best. You are both supposed to be two grown ass men, so act like it damn it, the both of you, before I call Admiral Simpson to court martial you to next year." When neither pilot moved the bespectacled man huffed in annoyance, "dismissed Lieutenants, get out of my sight and my hallway."

Jake and Bradley both jumped into action, stalking away (unfortunately in the same direction) and out into the fresh air. Jake walked faster, refusing to acknowledge the childish side of him that wanted to beat Rooster at this if he couldn't continue to beat him with his fist. Annoyingly Bradley didn't take the bait, allowing Jake space to speed walk as quickly away from him as he liked.

He knew he should have just kept going, left Bradshaw and the Dagger squad and this whole experience in the rear view mirror, but Jake's intelligence never translated well into his interactions with people. Instead he turned back around swiftly to give another piece of his mind, his brain barely catching Bradley's look of initial surprise and then preparedness as he clenched his fists and settled in for round number two. Jake wasn't interested in fighting physically though, preferring as always, to use his sharp tongue and wit. "You know why you're so pissed Bradshaw" Jake challenged, "because you know I'm right- about it all."

"I know you think you're right" Bradley immediately responded, his face the definition of wrath, "I know that in poor little Hangman's head, being slighted from the team meant the whole process was unfair. That you needed to stoop so low as to rip into Mav who was the only one in the whole damn Navy that cared more about us surviving than the success of the mission! You tried to tell him that he didn't worry about the others’ lives yet that was all he cared about!"

"No it was because he chose you! You were the weakest link, you were the liability-“

Bradley stalked closer, fire in his eyes, “I am so sick of you and your damn mouth. I was a liability? How about you leaving your wingman all the time?" he questioned. "How about that fact that no one ever wants to fly with you, how no one trust you” he continued viciously, a triumphant smile gracing his lips when Jake refused to meet his eyes, “you’re the liability because people would rather go at it alone than have you on their wing.”

It was a hurtful blow, more hurtful than the punch had been. Jake knew his reputation made others hesitate to work with him. He hated it but the Hangman persona was a part of him at this point. His protective cloak that he had donned from the age of 18 when he faced the world broken and battered and struggling to survive. He had to be Hangman, the cocky self-assured pilot because that was the only way he was making it. Jake had thought, perhaps naively, that his skills would make up for what he lacked in personality but Bradshaw's words were unflinchingly true. No one liked working with Jake, despite the fact that both his confirmed kills came from saving others. He might fly fast in training but he never left a wingman when it mattered. Swallowing the hurt in a way he had mastered since he was a child, Hangman focused on giving jabs as good as he was getting. He stalked closer to Rooster, “Yeah well seems like it’s not just me people don’t want to fly with anymore" he lectured. "You’ve lost the squad," Jake mocked coldly, "some team leader you are.”

Bradley raised a fist, looking to strike once more before he lowered, “you know what? You’re not worth it” he told the blonde, shaking his head in disgust. Bradley didn’t realize it but his words made Jake feel even lower, so much of his life spent not thinking he was ‘worth’ anything. But Bradley, none the wise, kept hitting insults, “Go fly out and be with you other team” he told Jake,. “I’m sure they’ve been missing their resident asshole.”

Hangman huffed, covering his wounds with indifference, “at least I embrace it” he shot back smugly. “Instead of sitting on my high perch, no accountability and no consequence. Not with Daddy Mav to protect you forever.”

Rooster didn’t reply just pushed past Jake with a hard shot to his shoulder before heading back towards the parking lot. “Yeah that’s what I thought” Jake chimed in one last time, though it sounded weak even to his own ears, the argument losing ground with Bradshaw’s lack of engagement, “nothing more to say from good old Rooster.”

“You know what I’ll say” the brunette called back, turning and meeting Jake’s eye, “I say I’ll meet you at the next funeral, when you lead your wingman to that early grave.”

Jake offered a mock salute, which got him a middle finger in return. He watched Bradley turn back around, heading for his Bronco and his Hawaiian shirt collection or whatever cheered the other man up. Hangman, left alone once more, gave a sigh, annoyed at himself for letting Bradshaw get under his skin. There was no friendship there anymore, no fixing of the fractures that had developed over the years, just mutual mistrust which grew to a hatred like a festered wound.

Jake took a few calming breathes, getting his pulse back down. He cleared his mind of his anger and focused on his flight, knowing in just a few short hours time he'd be back where he belonged, far away from Rooster and Maverick and this whole experience.

If I never saw any of them again, he thought bitterly to himself, I’d be happy. 

But the world as Jake often knew it, was so very cruel.

[pollyna]

Out of all the Dagger squadron Callie is the one who knows Admiral Kazansky the longer and, even before Top Gun, she was already eating at his table one every seven days. Just without Maverick around, even if she knew he was married. After every piece just fits where it should.

She was twenty-seven when an imposing dude, a Lieutenant Commander, asked her to be the attache during a conference with some Chinese delegation. Callie had accepted so fast she almost fell out of the chair for the enthusiasm and the Lieutenant had left her room laughing under his breath because oh this kid. In the end she had to do very little because Admiral Kazansky knew exactly what to say and how to say without her help, but he offered her a job because he knew her knowledge was going to be useful sooner than later. Callie had worked for two whole years with the man, in briefings, war rooms she theoretically wasn't supposed to be, over breakfast at the Admiral house with other ten people and over dinner in gala she hated but not how much the Admiral did. She worked for him and with him, learning as much as she could, translating during the Admiral's bad days when his fingers where as fast and hard as the things he would have liked to say but couldn't. When she got called in Top Gun, for the first time, she was barely thirty and the Admiral had hugged her and said you're for the skies not for boring politics. After it was a deployment after another, flying, flying and flying a little more, always to be the best alone and with her WSO.

The second time around Top Gun the Admiral wasn't around to say goodbye or to hug her but he sent a mail with enough big words in it to let Callie understand how important the mission was.

So, when at the end of it all, the squadron starts going around the Admiral, please Callie call me Tom or Iceman at which she answered just if you start calling me Halo Admiral, and the Captain's house she remembers where most things are and she starts making breakfast most of the mornings they stay over to sleep and Bradley himself looks a little lost the first time he has to find a cup in the immensity of the kitchen cupboard. Everybody looks at her like she grown a third head but Mav puts a photos of a younger Admiral and Halo in their whites, in front of the ONU's building. She was the second kid before every single on of you, Bradley excluded the Captain says a shirt two size to big over his pj's pants and Ice hugging his wrist. Fitz almost burns a stack of pancakes, Harvard's glass shatters on the ground and Phoenix murmurs to Bob holy shit I need that photo you see how cute Halo was.

That was a day Tom signs and Halo laughs because yes, yes that was a day she answers before going back to cutting the fruits and ignoring the one hundred questions they all have.

(The weirdest person to be around is Maverick, at the end of the day, because she knows the Admiral but his husband is the wild card. But, in the end, they bond over on too many breakfasts and all the crazy and wild things Tom did for Pete when he was searching for a present for his birthday.)

[darkacademicfrom2021]

Away. So, so far away.

<<Previous part Masterlist Next part>>

Word count: 2K

Warnings: Odin's A+ parenting (/s). Angst. Jealousy.

4

"This is ridiculous'', said Loki, pacing around the tiniest of the cells. Odin simply stared from outside. "I'm not one to step on this dungeon yet again".

"You must've thought about it sooner, Loki", beamed his father's voice. So calm and composed yet so imponent. Loki would've given everything on him to get out of that cell and rip his eye off. Monster? He might be one, but Odin… Odin was the true villain.

"You just want me here to have another excuse at Thor being the only heir to the throne. Your desperate attempts are pathetic".

"You should pay your respects to me, son. I'm the one assuring your… companion, if you may call that, is safe".

If you may call that. Odin had always accepted Thor's stupid fling with that midgardian woman and not once he considered her any less important than Thor's other asgardian acquaintances. Yet with you, he didn't know if it was because of the inherent strength you emanated —unintimidated by literal Gods, always up to a new challenge and not minding getting hurt in the process, whatever it takes—maybe that's something that attracted Loki to you in the first place; or maybe it all was because it was him. The frost giant that falls in love with a mortal and damned be him that would ever want or need to be loved, his heart of ice. Right?

He didn't deserve it and everyone knew it, except you. When will you know? When will you realize? He wondered over and over and over.

"Does they know where I am?".

"Of course not".

"Then you must grant me this one wish… this one need for them to know I'm not just off somewhere and getting off with someone else, or whatever they might be thinking now". He asked. He almost pleaded—begged. Begs are of no use. Odin smiled devilishly and said nothing. "Where is they?".

"Something similar to the healer's room they've got down there…", recalled Odin, and Loki almost raised his voice, panic washing over him.

"A hospital?".

"Yes. A bullet wound".

"A mission. I knew, I knew I couldn't let them go by themselves to that damned mission. Not now. Who's with them?".

"Loki, there is no use in you caring this deeply. The soldier is taking care of them. Something you won't be doing for the next few centuries".

"Get. Me. Out", his clenched jaw started hurting even more.

"Feel free to get yourself out, since you're so insistent on being independent".

"I'm a full grown adult God, I don't need to insist on being something I so clearly am".

"You're not a God".

And just like that, Odin left the dungeons. Loki's mind could only have one thing circling over and over, eating his brains alive. You. You. You. Hospital. Bullet. Soldier.

It wasn't wise of him to get worked up in jealousy while there were more important matters on stage, but he would never ignore Sergeant Barnes' looks over your body and —damned be him and your gorgeous eyes— the looks you'd give him back. You cared for a friend and Sergeant Barnes was very clearly looking for something more south.

And you now probably thought of him as a greedy monster—oh how he was. If he hadn't been so worked up over this idiotic idea of thinking he could ever be able to actually sit on a throne (a throne, any throne, anything at all), he wouldn't have gotten himself locked up and could've jumped in front of that bullet for you, or teleported you away, or ripped that gun's carrier to shreads before they could even touch you a hair.

"Hey, you", he called one of the guards. This one, he remembered. He feared him. Loki smirked.

"Your Highness".

Loki knew guards were idiots. But could this one be even useful?

"How much would you like to do a little favor to your prince?", and the guard swallowed.

"I'm not allowed to…".

"How long exactly have you been working for the dungeons?".

"I… uh… a couple of decades".

"Do me this one favor and I'll get you a better job once I'm out of this cell".

"I can't take you out, Your Highness", he looked apologetic. Norns, guards were so stupid. And this one was so submissive.

"I'm aware", he smiled with patience. "This is just so I can assure some visualization towards my little darling there on Midgard. Bring me something from my Mother's room".

"Sir, I…", he was about to decline, but Loki cut him sharply.

"It's Your Highness. Bring me a sphere. Do as I say".

Without further discussion, the guard left with a vow and came back very shortly later with that same magic sphere he had asked. His Mother wasn’t a witch, but she was raised by many. It was obvious she’d have one of those. He groped it around, passed his fingers all over it, trying to figure out exactly how he’d get the sphere to work. Finally, resigned, he sat on the foot of the bed and laid the sphere in there too, frustrated he couldn’t even get a spark out of it.

“I just wish you worked”, he sighed, looking at it.

The sphere glowed. He opened his eyes in surprise and realized it was through commands. He shifted his voice to resemble his mother’s.

“Give me a visualization on Loki's beloved”.

The sphere glowed even more, shone all around it and a halo of white lights that blinded him almost entirely made him frown in disgust. Soon, the sphere started making sounds.

“Oh, please! Just this one, I’m really begging. If I could stand up, I’d get on my knees and all”, it was your voice. He blinked fast and soon he could see you there, inside the center of the sphere, in a hospital gown and laying among cables and white sheets. He smiled at your sight and quickly frowned. You were trying to catch your laptop from someone’s hand.

Metallic hand.

Loki growled.

“No way. I’m supposed to make sure you don’t kill yourself over one simple mission. Come on, you can do this”, said the soldier, trying to get you to calm down. You were visibly upset.

“I can do what? What am I supposed to do other than the damn mission I came to do?”.

“I don’t know, doll. You’re not…”.

“Call me doll again and I’ll make actual dolls with your skin, Barnes”, you growled, and Loki chuckled. There was the sweetheart he missed so much. “That was rude. Sorry. I’m serious, give me the laptop, I won’t move a hair. I’m not even that badly injured”.

“Take this as a vacation, would you? Didn’t you wanna do something here? Climb that mountain?”.

“Oh, so let me get this straight. I can’t use my laptop, here, on my bed, because I’m supposed to bedrest and work isn’t resting. I can, nonetheless, climb a mountain”.

“Yeah. You coming or not?”.

“Sure”, you sighed, repressing a smirk. “But let’s bring the camera and take a picture at the top of it, so I can annoy Stark about it”.

“Deal”.

I've got a feeling called the blues, oh Lord, since my baby said goodbye. 

Lord I don't know what I'll do, all I do is sit and sigh.

"What's that?", asked Bucky as you sang under your breath. The music kept going in your earpiece, but he couldn't hear much. "Sounds familiar".

"Oh, it's Hank Williams. You surely must have heard it".

"Yes, when I was a teen. Damn, is his music still around?".

The mountain was relatively easy. Bucky knew that and that made him agree to climb it with you in the first place. But you loved it. You stopped every once in a while to look around and marvel at it.

That last long day he said goodbye,

Oh Lord, I thought I would die.

Bucky stared. Bucky stared while you stopped to drink water and when you did that thing with your hair, and Bucky stared so much you began ignoring it and singing. He didn't seem to mind.

"What do you think about this?".

"About what?".

"The whole thing. The mission. The year. Loki".

Bucky sighed everytime you mentioned him.

"Look, you made very clear it doesn't matter what I think about Loki to you".

"It does, but it doesn't mean I'll actually follow whatever you say. So, do you think something about it?".

"Of course, doll. I think something about everything. And especially about this whole thing, because Loki is clearly… you care for him and you're hurt".

"Well, yes. Oh", you said, stopping to grab a rock. "look. It's shiny". Bucky chuckled. "Sorry. You were saying".

"Well, I think it's good you're getting your head off him for a while now".

"What? I'm not".

"I thought that was the purpose of coming mission after mission. I don't think he… well, the way Thor puts it makes me think he… you know".

You stopped in place and frowned.

"You're not implying he's not coming back".

"That's sort of what Thor told me".

"What did he exactly say?".

"He said…", he sighed and looked around. "Look, I don't want to cause trouble. I think you should talk directly to him".

"He doesn't talk to me".

He'll do you, he'll do me, he's got that kind of loving,

But I love to hear him when he calls me sweet baby, what a beautiful dream.

"I think he's off with someone else. Thor said, quoting exactly, trouble is in his nature, and he's tried to make sure he could have a throne. He couldn't with them because of the whole not wanting kids matter", Bucky explained, imitating Thor's accent. You would've laughed. You would've, if it weren't for the knot in your throat. "I think he's done with you, doll".

James pulled his sincere face. He wasn't saying it because he had an interest in you, as Tony kept saying, but because he cared for you. He hated to see you under so much pain for something he couldn't quite finish understanding —why would you care so much for someone who leaves with no warning and makes no effort to communicate?

"He's not. He's not done with me. He wouldn't do that".

I hate to think it all over, I've lost my heart it seems.

I've grown so used to you somehow,

Well, I'm nobody's sugar baby now.

And I'm a lonesome, I've got the lovesick blues.

You kept walking, this time faster. Bucky grabbed your arm a couple of times to let you know you should slow down and take it easy.

He wouldn't do that, right? He wouldn't just leave. You've been through enough together to know he wasn't one to do that. Yes, you fought. Yes, he left. But he always came back. And when he came back, he was sorry and he cooed your cries and kissed you and hugged you all night, until love outweighed whatever reason got you like that.

He always came back.

Cause I'm in love, I'm in love with a wonderful guy,

That's what's the matter with me.

Cause I'm in love, I'm in love with a wonderful guy, but he don't care about me.

He cares, you thought. And with that though, you kept climbing. You went up, to the top, and stared at the immensity, at the whole place. The whole city.

You really wanted to think about something else. But that bad feeling you had… if he wasn't leaving you for someone else, then he was in trouble.

You could only hope he was actually with someone else. Not dead. Not hurt.

Please, don't be in pain.

And I tried and I tried to keep him satisfied, but he just wouldn't stay.

And now that he is leaving, this is all I've got to say.

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