#han som hatar människan part 4

[fictionsaroundtheclock]

Han Som Hatar Människan (He Who Hates The People) - Part 4: Tiden Läker Inga Sår

Niklas Kvarforth x OFC

               The last show from the first part of the tour was over and Niklas was shaking with impatience to get away from everyone and everything. Abigail had promised him that the very next day when they have taken a good rest, she’ll drive him away as promised. Her offer was too tempting to fuck with, that’s why Niklas behaved. After the show he went early to bed, just like a little kid who can’t wait for Christmas morning. They were sleeping in a hotel as it was the last day of the tour, so they deserved a little luxury. While Niklas was sleeping, everybody was silently talking and drinking.

“So what now? What’s the plan? It’s obvious he’s in a rush for somewhere. He doesn’t really say anything about his plans.” Peter asked curiously. Abigail exhaled.

“I promised to take him away from everyone and everything until the beginning of the next part of the tour. As long as he behaved, that is. He fulfilled the deal. I’m not sure if he’ll want you guys to know where he is, so I’ll say no more.”

“You did manage to keep him short on a leash after all. I’m sorry I doubted you.” Christian smiled.

“It’s ok. It’s not the first time people doubt me, neither will it be the last. I just hope I can keep him sane by myself for a month.”

“You can always call us if you need help taming the beast.” Shining’s long-year bodyguard offered.

“I don’t think that would be necessary, but thank you. I’ll be Niklas’ bodyguard for a while.” The girl smiled at the gesture.

               On the next day Niklas quickly put all his suitcases in the back of the car and said goodbye to his whole crew. Abigail also thanked them for everything and after the final goodbyes, she took the drivers’ seat.

“Take me away from this place.” Niklas muttered angrily and took a drag of his cigarette.

“It’s going to be a quite a ride. You’ll need some exercise for your ass after that.” Abigail chuckled and she started the engine.

               Niklas’ jaw dropped to the ground as they stood in front of the small house. The nature around was beautiful and the place was quiet. Sure, there were other houses around, but everyone else living here had chosen this place for the same reason – seclusion. Niklas even called the place “inspiring”, which earned him a giggle from Abigail.

               The singer was happy the first week. Everything was going fine and just the way he wanted it. Abigail was taking good care of him and he was happy to have her with him. However, his illness kicked in, bringing depression back again. On a sunny Monday, Abigail had gone out shopping for groceries. When she returned and didn’t find Niklas in the living room, she panicked, but quickly came back to her senses. She opened the door to the beautiful, sunny bed room, just to have a knife thrown at her. Of course, it wasn’t meant to hit her, so it just got stuck in the wall. She gasped in surprise.

“Oh, it’s you.” Niklas exhaled in relief.

“Of course it’s me. Who the fuck else could it be? What’s wrong with you?” Abigail shouted with irritation. The singer was sitting on the ground with his back to the bed. He rubbed his face with his palms and his face seemed tortured.

“Aren’t you afraid of me, Abigail, with all these knives lying around me and flying at you? How haven’t you given up on me yet? Aren’t you afraid of this sick fuck, sharing your now blood-stained bed?” The man muttered self-pityingly.

“No, I am not. I like your company. I like you the way you are. I guess you feel the same way, since you’re here with me.”

“God, you’re so full of yourself.”

“And you aren’t?”

“You only love yourself, Abigail. Is it so hard for you just to admit that you have feelings for me? You’re only in love with yourself! You’re in love with the reflection in the mirror that everybody falls for, you’re in love with the power you possess among me!” Kvarforth snapped angrily.

“I might be. Everyone has flaws. Mine seems to be vanity. I am flawed. You are flawed. Everyone is. Because we are humans and no matter flawless or not, we’re all worthless, remember? Besides, you wouldn’t judge me for my vanity if you knew what pain I have been through myself. The only pain you know is yours, Niklas. Others suffer too. And who are you to talk about feelings? If it was important to you, you would have admitted your own feelings.”

“What the fuck do you know about pain?” The man shouted, but Abigail contained her calmness.

“Do you really want to know?” Abigail knelt bravely beside him and he pulled her onto his lap.

“I’m listening.” He hissed.

“Then prepare.” She wrapped a hand around his neck and pushed him back. “Because it is story time.” She let go of his neck when she made sure he was ready to listen. “I grew up in a strongly religious family. Those same sick fucks I told you about. Do you know how they raised me? They raised me at home. I don’t know what kindergarten is, I don’t know what school is, I don’t know what college is, I didn’t know what “outside” was. They were determined that they were protecting me by not letting me out at all. They thought the world was all evil and this way they were protecting me. When I was ill, they took care of me in home. They gave me books to educate me. When I heard kids playing outside I would run to the window and watch them. At first I thought I was missing out a lot, but later I was so used to spending my time in doing house chores and reading books, that I started thinking their games were a stupid waste of time. They made me pray every night. While I was still young and vulnerable, I thought it was right to believe in God. However, when I turned fifteen I had already developed a thinking of my own about what was wrong and right. All their religious teaching seemed like a brain-washing to me, so I started ignoring it. But I wasn’t stupid as well. In their presence I was their good, obedient girl. The moment they turned their backs I was already spitting on the wooden cross hanging on the wall in my room, which I usually inverted when they were out. One day some relatives came over at home. One of them offered to my parents as a joke that they should make a model out of me with my good looks and pretty face. That angered my mother. She started envying my looks, so she cut off my hair while I was sleeping. Needless to say, this saddened me a lot and I hated myself even more. Finally, I turned eighteen. I knew this meant I can be free from all of this. While I was making tea for my parents, I put a ton of sleeping pills in it and gave it to them. This gave me time to pack my stuff and get out of home without being noticed. This is when I saw the light of day for the first time of my life. The world outside was nothing I knew about. I was lost, confused, scared and I didn’t know where to go or what to do. I simply wandered. I ended up sheltered by a bunch of whores. Literally, whores. When they found out about my life and about my zero education, they sadly told me that the only way I could make money on my own at this stage was to become a prostitute like them. I didn’t know anything at all about human connections and what’s left for having sex with people for money. I lost my virginity to some old, fat, greasy fuck who didn’t even pay me well.” The girl cried. “Even oblivious to those stuff, I knew virginity was something important. Do you know how this feels when you finally understand about all that stuff? That for girls it’s important that they lose it to somebody important, so they don’t have a bad memory of it? On with the story. Men liked me a lot, obviously, so I quickly made good money. Some old, rich guy found me and offered me to become a part of his whorehouse, where I had the potential to make better money. What choice did I have? I accepted. The women there taught me a lot of stuff. They taught me how to take care of myself and for the first time in my life I could actually look in the mirror without wanting to break it. They showed me the world of internet, where I started discovering music and found that dark music is my music. And especially all the blasphemous music that laughed at my parents’ stupid God and that’s indeed black metal. That’s how I discovered Shining and your music became an important part of my life. I also started writing and my works paid well. However, the more I discovered, the more I got depressed about my past. I started taking drugs, mostly heroin and coke to numb the pain. Many of the men I slept with were also offering me drugs. The drugs started making me look older and uglier and I got scared that I’ll start hating myself again, so with a lot of effort I finally stopped them. When I finally saved up enough money, I bought this place here in Norway and started working as a stripper. One day I was coughing up blood, so for the first time in my life I visited a doctor, just so he could tell me that I am dying. He was saying some difficult words, but I concluded that it was mostly from the drugs or at least a consequence of them. So you see now why I am so impulsive and why our paths crossed the way they did. I haven’t lived a day of my life and at 22 I am already dying, that’s why I do what I want to and I apologize to no one. Knowing all of this, don’t you dare call me vain again, since there were times when I couldn’t look myself in the mirror. Don’t you dare say I don’t know what pain and solitude is. I know solitude better than everyone, because the only friends I ever had were the whores and strippers and now you guys.” Abigail finished her story in tears. She buried her face in his neck, resting her hands on his shoulders. It was the first time he saw her cry and he felt like somebody stabbed him with a knife. If she hadn’t ever told him her story, he would have never guessed how much pain she hides, since she always seemed so happy, contained and self-assured. Niklas exhaled and wrapped his strong arms around her small body.

“And still you walk with that bright shining smile on your face, huh?” He said gently.

“Despite what people say, time heals nothing. But if you’re strong enough like me, it does get better. You think I didn’t suffer from depression after all of this? I got rid of it. It wasn’t easy, but it’s not impossible and I’m going to prove it to you.” Abigail finally calmed down and lift her head to look in his eyes.

“I appreciate everything you’re doing for me, but to me it’s not only depression. It’s my hatred for every living soul, it’s my schizophrenia…it has all buried its roots deep inside my mind. It’s like cancer. You can remove all the tumors, but there is still a small piece you have missed that starts it all over again."

“Say what you will, nothing costs me to try.”

               Despite everything, Niklas got drunk and high as fuck that same night and Abigail wasn’t happy about it. She left him sleeping alone and didn’t allow him to lay a finger on her. After trying to apologize to her again with no luck, he was once more convinced that she is relentless and that her kindness is not to be taken for granted.

“Get the fuck up, you human trash.” Abigail woke the singer up angrily the next morning by smacking his bare thigh. He hadn’t even pulled the covers over him, the ignorant bastard.

“We’re being very nice today, aren’t we?” The man muttered sleepily.

“What did you expect after last night? To get breakfast in bed and morning blow-job?”

“You’re right, you’re right.” Niklas snickered at her words as he sat up. She leaned in closer to his face and grabbed his jaw, making him look in her eyes.

“Let me tell you some painful truths. Get high as much as you want, but I doubt you have a secret drug lab lying around here, so you’ll soon be out of drugs and the last thing I’ll do for you while you’re lying in tears on the ground, crying for drugs, is to supply you with some.”

“But the faster I’m out of drugs – the better for me, right?” He grinned childishly.

“We’re learning fast, huh?” Abigail ran her tongue over his lips and stepped back, leaving him wanting more. “So what do you plan on doing for the rest of your vacation? Just lie around all day, getting drunk as fuck and being totally useless?”

“I’m liking your reverse psychology.”

“Answer the question, if you please!”

“Well, let’s just say I don’t really have a plan. I just live for the day.” Niklas replied impudently.

“Do you want me to find you a job? Just any job, a small one, so you don’t lie around the whole day doing nothing.” Abigail almost begged.

“If you lie around with me in bed all day I won’t be doing nothing all day and I will be happy.”

“Niklas…” The girl sighed hopelessly and closed her eyes.

“Alright, I’ll do it. It’s not like I’ll ever work another job. At least I’ll see what it’s like.” The singer gave up. Deep inside he knew he was doing it because of her, but why?

“It won’t be that bad, I promise.”

“I’ll be ok, as long as you wait for me here in bed all dressed in latex and with high heels on.”

“I’ll think about it. Wait, how do I trust that you won’t run away while at work?” She pointed a finger at him.

“Oh, come the fuck on! Get real, Abigail. I’m in the middle of a place I know nothing about. Where the fuck do you think I could go? Who’s being paranoid now? Don’t make me change my mind.”

“You’re right, you’re right…”