#happy birthday to myself here's the wildest crossover I ever wrote of my two latest hyperfixations

[istadris]

The King and the Imperator

Translation of this story ( @elitadream keep an eye out, there's more to come)

Or : when the universes of two short-stacked, moustachioed heroes collide, and their respective nemesis find a common ground.

*

The creature was towering over him.

An impressive feat on its own, given how Caesar was taller than most of his peers. What was most remarkable, however, was the creature itself: a curious hybrid between man, turtle and lizard, one that could breathe fire and break stones with its bare fists. Dragon, his mind kept suggesting, despite his best efforts to avoid dwelling on the ludicrous idea.

Even more interesting was the fact that the creature was smart enough to think, talk, and was, from what he had gathered, a king, a ruling leader.

Smart enough to bark a laugh in reaction to Caesar’s offer.

“So you wanna work for me? You?”

“An alliance is what I’m offering,” Caesar answered coldly, “as our goals seem to align for the time being.”

“An ‘alliance’ implies we both got something interesting to bring on the table. I have the biggest army in the world, the best magicians at my service, and I am the most powerful of my kingdom. What could a twiggy little thing like you offer me?”

“Many things, O king, but most of all what you are currently lacking: strategy.”

The creature snarled at the implied insult and stomped suddenly towards Caser, huge, sharp fangs bared in a vicious snarl. It took all of Caesar’s self-control to not reach for his sword; not that it would do much against the thick scales of his opponent.

“Watch your words, human. You’re a funny distraction for now, but you’re not that amusing.”

Yet as brutish and foul-tempered as this monster was, it was smart enough not to give in to his rage and listen to what Caesar had to say instead. So he stared back in the red eyes, standing tall and proud.

“You said it yourself: you lead the greatest army of this world, you dispose of vast resources…yet what of your conquests? How have you not yet bent this entire world to your rule?”

“Ha, because you think you can do better than ME?”

“‘Better’? I’m leaving this debate to philosophers. I only know I had no throne to claim by birth right, nor fortune or magic. And yet today I’m the master of an empire in all but in name; I am feared and respected by my citizens and foes alike as the conqueror of most of the known world. All who dared opposing me submitted to my armies or perished. Can you claim the same?”

Black smoke erupted from the creature’s nostrils in a low snort, the words clearly striking a chord, but not to the point of causing aggression for now. Caesar even dared to walk a few steps away from his interlocutor, his arms crossed behind his back as he took in the landscape surrounding them as he went on:

“Only one small village of indomitable Gauls still holds out against my troops. But unlike me, they have at their disposal a…magic providing them with incredible strength. Otherwise, they would have been wiped out a long time ago.”

Some of them might have cunning and ingenuity on their side as well…but Caesar didn’t need to mention that detail.

“Two of them, in particular, keep fooling my plans. A pesky duo made of a little runt and a tall bumbling fool following him around. From what I was told,” he added with a smirk in the direction of the king, “we share something in common in that aspect.”

“Might be. Get to the point.”

“It’s very simple,” Caesar said as he turned to face the monster. “You’re used to magic, and there's no doubt as to your strength: even with their powers, you would be quite the challenge to my enemies. As for yours…no matter how powerful they are, two men wouldn’t be able to fend off an organised campaign of my design against their kingdom. A little village where they can focus their effort, yes. An entire country? I beg to differ. This is my offer, mighty king: remove the last obstacles in the way to my hegemony, and I’ll make sure your army can defeat this kingdom standing up to you.”

“And why would your plans be more efficient than mine?”

“Because I have seen your troops in action…if I noticed such a lack of organisation in mine, my centurions would get the whip for such incompetence. A fickle chain of command outside of their king, battle plans relying on capricious and unstable elements, basic and repetitive tactics…”

He let out a small laugh.

“If I can’t do better, I can hardly imagine doing worse.”

“And let me guess,” the monster snarked in a honeyed tone, “I should give you free reign with MY army in MY kingdom.”

The smarmy smile turned into a cruel grimace as the king raised one of his paws, suddenly unsheathing knife-sharp claws and casually looking at them

“What if instead, I killed you and took as my own that army you’re so proud of, hm?”

“Then kill me now, instead of wasting my time,” Caesar shot back with a dismissive wave of his hand.

For the first time since their encounter, arrogance made way for surprise on his interlocutor’s face, but Caesar kept talking without giving a care:

“I thought I was dealing with a king able to see where his interests lie and seize a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, but if I’m only facing some mindless, prideful beast, might as well spare me the headache and give me a quick death.”

Red eyes seemed to ignite before narrowing, focused on their prey.

“SO BE IT!!”

The creature suddenly lunged towards Caesar in a deafening roar, his throat blazing with the promise of fire.

And yet despite the danger, Caesar was…not reassured, but…calm. He had dealt with this kind of people before, brash, temperamental and straightforward; the monstrous king was not the kind to waste time over a decision, nor did he seem squeamish at dirtying his own hands in getting rid of a troublesome element.

Whether he lived or died, Caesar would find out very soon. So he remained impassive to the threat, intent on keeping his dignity until the very end.

For several seconds the monster glared at Caesar, teeth bared…until his snarl slowly turned into a fierce grin and he suddenly threw his head back, laughing loudly:

“GWAHAHAHA!! You got nerve, Twiggy, I’ll give you that!”

Caesar managed to let out the breath he had been holding despite himself without the king apparently noticing.

Said king turned his eyes again on Caesar:

“Are you sure you can get rid of these two pains in the rump?”

“Most certainly. But only if you can return the favour.”

The king snorted, looking more annoyed than insulted this time.

“Are all humans so annoying to deal with?” he grumbled, not waiting for Caesar’s answer before continuing, “but you’ve got a point: with how long these moustachioed menaces have been ruining my plans, I can’t let slip any chance to finally put them down. If you can give it to me…I can be very grateful.”

For the first time since the start of the negotiations, he was displaying a serious, dignified demeanour befitting a true king while staring down at Caesar no longer as a troublesome hindrance but as a potential ally.

“Give me absolute victory and I’ll offer you a conquest. What do you say?”

That’s what he had been after from the beginning…and yet Caesar took a moment before answering.

This was a land of madness. Bright colours, absurd landscapes, ridiculous creatures. But under their ridiculous appearance, these strange beings were as strong as resilient and they had magic. Power.

He had to bring but a sliver of that power back to Rome.

Caesar was also aware of taking a big risk. He was alone, away from his armies and his usual influence. He could see the limitless ambition of this beast of a king as it reflected his own, and he would need to make sure it didn’t include Caesar’s own empire. He would need to watch carefully his back less he found himself with a knife in it the second this prideful ally got what he wanted.

But he had not become the most powerful man of his world by playing it safe.

Alea jacta est, he decided as he held his hand out to conclude the deal.

He managed not to flinch when the large paw all but crushed his bones in the handshake.

However, he did stumble and collapsed to the ground at the thunderous slap on his back, the king’s laughter booming above him.

“You know what? I think we’re gonna make a great team.”      

[lightscamerabitchsmileee]

Happy Birthday Taylor ❤️❤️

I know I’m a little late writing this but @taylorswift I literally can’t believe that you’re 30 now I feel like it was only yesterday when I listened to Tim McGraw on CMT and instantly loved it from the first listen at that time you were 16 and I was 13 and like with many as a fan I got to watch you grow from country girl-next-door to the legendary pop queen that you are today your music has been an important part of my teen years and still important to this day as an adult every album that you’ve made has helped me at a certain point in my life including your latest album Lover ❤️❤️.

Your first two albums your self titled debut and Fearless were a huge part of my junior high to high school years I remember in high school when songs like Our Song, I’m Only Me When I’m With You & You Belong With Me was truly my jams and there was sort of a reliability to it 😊😊 The Best Day was definitely one of my favorites at that time because it reminded me of my mom and my family in general & Jump Than Fall, The Outside, Picture To Burn & Fearless were some other faves that I enjoyed around that time too (although I love every song on both albums 😊😊)

I think the moment where I knew that I truly became a full on Swiftie was when you released Speak Now your self-written masterpiece that’s not only my favorite album of yours but also the most relatable to my life it came out at the perfect time in my last year of high school when during that album cycle I graduated, went to university and also gotten into my first serious relationship and had my first breakup songs like Sparks Fly, Ours, Enchanted & Mine represented the relationship aspect part of my life while songs like Last Kiss & Haunted represented the early part of my breakup (Red took care of the rest haha), Never Grow Up is probably one of my favorites on a personal level it really struck a cord with me when I first moved away from home to go to university I remember my first night in Rez and I listened to that song and nearly cried because I was homesick and this song really got me through it and then there’s Long Live the song you wrote for the us fans and I just couldn’t get over how amazing that song is and it still holds up to this day especially now where it really is “the end of a decade and start of an age” haha but this album is what truly made me a Swiftie 4 life ❤️❤️

Red came after that and by this time I was going through my first breakup and if any album really got through it was this one (along with your other albums at that time haha) songs like I Almost Do, Come Back Be Here, Treacherous, Sad Beautiful Tragic and especially the best song you ever written All Too Well these songs definitely tugged at my heartstrings because those songs really related to what I was going through at the time it was therapy for me and songs like 22, Holy Ground, State Of Grace, Red, Starlight & Everything Has Changed definitely helped with the healing and making me smile and dancing and singing it all away (22 was even a better song when I actually turned 22 and jammed to that song the whole year I was 22 haha) and Begin Again is literally the perfect closer because it represented what was to come and it was the song I needed to move on. This was the album where you experimented with pop and I literally loved that you took that step and I loved seeing you evolve as an artist and that love grew even more when you released 1989.

1989 was your big bold crossover into pop and while I did love your country-side I was all for your pop pivot and when I hear Shake It Off I was literally dancing and singing to “this sick beat” and it was on repeat every since and still is to this day my go to get up and dance song every time. At this time you started trying to connect with your fans a bit more and this was when you joined Tumblr and being the super fan that I am like everyone I was pretty excited because I was on Tumblr (had it for 2 years at the time) and I was trying so hard to get you to notice me and one day on October 18th I was casually blogging and trying to get noticed by you and all of a sudden you followed me out of the blue and I was so incredibly happy I was jumping up and down and blasting your music at 2 am in my dorm room in Rez (I was lucky I didn’t wake anyone up haha 😂😂) so in awe that someone as famous as you would follow my little blog and I can’t thank you enough for following me and liking and reblogging my posts all these years so thank you from the bottom of my heart for that 😊😊

Anyways when 1989 came out it was amazing I remember taking two buses to Target to buy the album the day of the release and I remember coming back to my dorm room and just listening to the album over and over ❤️❤️. At this time I was in a second relationship but it was short lived and I was still in university at the time but I ended up failing later (by only half a point) and I had to come back home and get a job to try and go back and I remember being very upset I did a lot of soul searching and finding myself at this point and this album got me through those times and you & 1989 really taught me how to truly love myself and that I don’t need a relationship to make me happy and I stayed single for almost 4 years. Every song was just magical and fun like Wonderland, New Romantics, I Wish You Would and especially Style one of my all time favorites and slower songs like This Love, You Are In Love, Out Of The Woods and Wildest Dreams really tugged at the heartstrings a bit.

My favorite moment during this time was when I did an album review for 1989 as a Communications Studies project for my university newspaper The Muse and I remember taking a picture of the article when it got published and posted it on Tumblr and trying to get you to notice it and anyways a few days later you liked my review and I was literally so happy and was jumping up and down and couldn’t believe that the biggest pop star on the planet loved my review I never forgot it even to this day literally the best day of my life (until I meet you someday that is haha) so thank you for liking it and hopefully I can get your thoughts on it someday 😊😊.

Reputation came next and by 2017 I was back in the big city, I have a best friend and later found the love of my life Kim today ❤️❤️ Repuation while not the most relatable to my life was such an interesting and fascinating listen start to finish it was Taylor like we never seen her before and I really liked the badass side of you Taylor haha calling out the haters and the press doing things on your own terms and taking an emoji like a snake and turning it into a symbol of empowerment and I just loved that 😊. Look What You Made Do was such a jam through and through and Ready For it was the perfect starter ❤️❤️. The album was amazing Getaway Car is all time favorite on the album with its hint of 1989-ish synth pop throwbacks, Delicate was my favorite single because it was such a lighthearted pop song to bop to, End Game was truly amazing and probably the most relatable to me was the last two songs Call It What You Want and New Years Day where it definitely to when I met my Fiancé early last year ❤️❤️

And finally we get to Lover an album that I can honestly say is your best since Speak Now and truly another relatable album that reflects my life with my fiancé ❤️❤️ the title track is our song actually as it totally relates to our relationship and we are planning on making this the song that we are gonna dance to when we have our wedding ❤️❤️ and other songs like The Archer, Paper Rings & Daylight all reflect my relationship with Kim in some way and that make me truly happy ❤️❤️ and my favorite out of all them is Cruel Summer it’s such a jam and probably one of your best Taylor honestly 😊😊 and other songs like The Man & Soon You’ll Get Better are just amazing 😊😊. It goes to show that even to this day Taylor you still make such a huge impact on my life and I don’t know what I’d do or where I’d be if you and your music wasn’t there and for that I thank you so much for being a major part of my life ❤️❤️

So to conclude Taylor I truly grew up with your music and it was amazing to watch you grow as an artist and grow as a person you’re a fighter, you’re an independent strong woman, you’ve overcome many obstacles, You’re kind, generous, hilarious, you care about your fans and go above and beyond for us every day whether it’s 13 hour meet and greets or the secret sessions or Swiftmas or inviting one of your fans into your house or paying a fan’s student loans you’ve always took the extra mile and that’s one of many reasons why I love you and why you’re my favorite artist of all time you’re also very vocal about many issues that are near and dear to your heart like LGBT rights, voting rights and (especially recently when it comes to trying to regain ownership of your music) artists and other musical acts rights in the industry. You’re an inspiration to many thank you for being that voice.

I’m so happy that you and your music exist and thank you for being such an important of my life musically you’ve always been my role model and you and your music inspire me every single day. Happy ThirTAYth Birthday Taylor I hope you had the best day 😊😊 thank you and I love you and I hope someday we get to meet 😊😊