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fallingsunflower · 3 years

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So, I guess here comes the Camille ☕️ (if you wanna call it that)

Sorry in advance this gonna be a fucking long one.

If you have any questions just ask.

I honestly don’t know if I should be impressed or concerned that my brain still remembers so much details about this shitshow. But I guess their plan did work in the end.

So you asked about Camille. I honestly don’t even know where to start with that one. I don’t know for how long you’ve been a fan of Harry and how intensively you stan him, but this one send my bullshit detector right off in the same way that Holivia does.

Can’t really explain it but I just smell if something isn’t right. It’s not only that way with Harry but in general. I just KNOW if something doesn’t add up.

The reason hamille wasn’t overdone and ppl believe it was bc it was marketed to be real. It wasn’t for promo in the sense Holivia is or to be shoved in ppls faces. The point was to have a relationship to fall back on when his album came out to be the “long term relationship” described in the songs. To have a certain narrative if you want to call it that.

They only were papped 2 (+the time at the Classic East concert.) They went to really popular places where you only go to when you want to get papped.

Other than that they only posted „sneaky fanpics“ which was on purpose to make them look „private“ but they were anything but that.

I actually had saved so much stuff as proof till recently when I deleted it all bc it honestly has been 3 years and I didn’t think I needed it anymore to help me explain lol. And please don’t make the mistake of looking up Hamille timelines, bc they’re all created by shipper afterwards so 95% of the shit is wrong, in the wrong order or they added the wrong pics to certain events. (If you want to look for pics, specific dates and stuff look them up individually and NOT through shipper pages or similar shit.)

Alright, back to explaining why it was so obvious. Disclaimer: I‘m just gonna point out the most obvious things but there is way more.

Harry started following Camille back in June 2016. They have several mutual friends (Waseem, Alexa Chung, Matt Hitt etc) so I assume they‘ve met before. She didn’t follow back though till shortly before the „relationship“ started. So after Harry followed her in 2016 she started to tag him in posts of her and her friends ass and did that video moaning his name while grabbing her boobs (classy 🤢). Shortly afterwards Harry unfollowed for a while and started follow her again before the mess began.

Fast forward to 2017. After doing „Dunkirk“ and about to bring his debut album out they started the first attempt at what I call a failed narrative with Tess. Not gonna go over that again bc one anon pointed out right how fake it was. They got rid of her rather quickly after she posted several times from his house which wasn’t the „private way“ they intended it to go.

So they were looking for someone to replace her. Cue Camille entering the scene.

Perfect person for the narrative as she’s half french (goes well with Dunkirk promo), is a VS model, have mutual friends and she has several ex bf who have written songs/albums about her. She’s the picture perfect muse for his second album.

Please let’s first talk about chemistry and body language bc I can’t even say how awkward they always were around each other. First the two pap pics from the sushi place and in front of the gym/ yoga place: both times both had closed off body language either crossed arms, Harry walking 3 steps ahead, faces didn’t look pleased at all and rather irritated or as of they just had a fight/ were in the middle of a fight (especially the pic from in front of the yoga place). No touching or anything involved in any pap pics. If you didn’t knew they were supposedly „dating“ you wouldn’t see it.

Let’s get to their behavior at the „sightings“: they weren’t seen much together outside of touring. But when they were seen we got pics in like 95% of the cases and people meeting them always said they didn’t seem like a couple (apart from shippers who made up shit about them all the time).

Even in every „sneaky pic“ there was as much chemistry as in Holivia -> none!

We got a few pics or even videos were you could see them backstage or besides the stage (e.g. 2017 Toronto show: while Muna is on stage Harry and Camille stand awkwardly 3 feet apart from each other, both closed off body language, not interacting with each other. You’d think as they were still in their honeymoon phase at that time and in private, seemingly not knowing that anyone could see them that they acted more coupley or at least would not stand there like 🧍🏻 🧍🏻. (Have you seen him interact with Xander while watching 1D’s opening act? Total opposite to Hamilel and they were „just friends“. Also in other pics Harry would rather cling to her bag / coat etc that he was holding so he didn’t had to touch her or anything. I think the only time we saw them „touch“ was that Classic east concert („relationship debut“) when he awkwardly held her shoulders and she was swaying weirdly. She even tried to touch him or get him to sway with her but he shot that down immediately 🤣. I could go on for longer but you get what I mean...

The next weird thing is, that she was down in literally the pit or sitting with „regular fans“ 97% of the time. Without Harry’s bodyguard around. Sometimes Jeff was with her but mostly she stood there alone. Everyone knew that she wasn’t really popular and liked around fans, so why would you put your gf in the pit with all the crazys or why would you as a gf want to be in the crowd at most shows when you could watch from the side of the stage or backstage? Also the fact that we always knew when she was at a show because she was always „spotted“ even the few times she was indeed staying at the side of the stage, she didn’t stay hidden. Sometimes we even joked about how she wanted to be part of the band or something by how close she stood there in the open. But whenever Anne for example was on tour or close friends of his or whatever they always had someone walking with them for protection and Anne never was like „in the pit“ like Camille. She never followed any of Harry‘s close private friends or family. Only people who she could gain something from. Like Lambert, Jeff, Teasedale, the Crawford’s etc. And she was never at any of the London or Manchester shows where basically all of his friends and family were. Even though she would have had definitely time bc she posted herself and friends doing nothing or trolling in LA all the time in that time. When she was at that show in Paris in 2018, she brought her friend who lives in Paris and her cousin I think. We got backstage pics of them all and Harry and Camille staying as far away from each other in that pic as possible. She was seen leaving as well after that show with her friends out through the main entrance. This was also the show Anne was at and an awkward hugging video of them both came out. Tbh it’s not clear where Camille and co were sitting bc they moved around the arena the whole night. At one point you can see Anne and Camille standing next to each other and all of a sudden Camille was „hugging“ Anne but Anne was so surprised that she was just standing there like 🧍🏼‍♀️ and waited till it was over (that „hug“ looked more like as if Camille tried to tackle Anne 😂). Also serious question and not to make it sound weird, but it deadass looked in that video as if Camille just waited for a sign to go for that hug and that it was being recorded. Because the way the camera was pointing at them all of a sudden and they were just lucky enough to catch that on camera? Yeah sure...

Not to forget, she didn’t seem to have a lanyard like for example Anne had, so everyone would knew that she could move around the arena and crew as she wanted which is fucking weird not to have as a girlfriend especially if you’re apparently on tour for many dates. This also mean she couldn’t join them when she wanted but had to contact Jeff or Harry before so they could give her a lanyards for that specific date or a sticker with AAA. Sometimes she wore a lanyard but that was literally the VIP lanyard that you got when you bought a VIP ticket like any other fan. Didn’t mean she could move freely around the venue. Even weirder is that she put that AAA sticker on the back of her phone after she left tour 2018 and placed it obviously in lots of her insta stories and posts on insta (one where you can see that sticker is still up). Fan behavior not that of a real girlfriend!

Camilles mum followed Hamille shipper accounts at one point and liked a post of them. After that shippers were unbearable. Which mum follows a shipper account on insta? 😬

What I also find weird is that she was barely working and when she did she posted only like 2 about it. I mean it’s part of her job to post stuff like that?! But she went radio silent more often then not to let fans guess if she was with him or if she would turn up somewhere.

Her friends who are all are well in their 30s or older made often „jokes“ about Harry or implied stuff about him or 1D and posted this on their stories and she was laughing with them most of the time... what a girlfriend huh...

Another thing is, she was never at his house in London. Because she was never at any of the UK dates besides that one gig he did for X -factor. They were not much in London at the same time. And when she was alone in London or with her friend, they literally stayed at an AirBnB or a hotel. So I ask you, why would she as his gf of a few months not stay at his place while she’s in the UK? Or that one time when she was in the UK making it look like she was waiting for him coming back from tour in Asia and he stayed extra long there (a week or two) even after tour in Asia finished and she was in London. But he went rather out partying in London. I don’t blame him.

When she was at his show in Milan (2017) she met a „fan“ and they took a selfie in the restroom (classy 🥴🤐) during the concert. Idk but this is one thing which is really questionable bc people were speculating she was at this show but we hadn’t gotten pics yet. So that she then took a pic with a „fan“ coincidentally seems really fishy to me. Also that said „regular fan“ had allegedly floor tickets as you could see in the videos and pics she posted in the beginning of the concert. But after the pic with Camille she all of sudden appeared on the balcony as well, close to where Camille and more VIP guests were. So how did she end up there if she didn’t have connections or was told to take a pic with her so then being on the balcony was her „reward“? To add this woman was close to Camilles age so this scenario makes just less and less sense the longer you think about it.

In May she was still on tour with her then bf in Tokio. In July just two weeks before they were seen together for the first time that awkward Grimmy interview happened. Where he specifically asked about her. And Harry said he „ didn’t know her“. Fucking weird to bring up such a private topic on radio and then be seen not even 2 weeks later. (Not gonna argue on that one, it’s the same like the wedding weekend pap walk just more subtle).

Then there were so many pics of him backstage at that concert, pics with fans, official pics, „sneaky fan sightings“ in the audience... He looked rather uncomfortable holding her shoulders while she was dancing. We know Harry goes often to concerts but when did we ever get so many pics from one? Mostly it’s a blurry pic of him or one backstage pic with the artist, not like the ones we got and certainly not that many. Plus we got an relationship article the day after.

Funny is also how he was on vacation in Muskoka with the Gerbers and Anne at the end of July 2017 shortly before the first spotting of Hamille and Camille no where to be seen.

Now I‘m gonna point out inconsistencies and such might be in chronological order, might be not.

I think the next time we saw them was a „sneaky fan pic“ (just the two of them) without a source from Beverly Hills hotel at lunch. Her friend Lauren posted a instastory being at that hotel right then and there and deleted the story like 5 minutes afterwards. She wasn’t in the pic of the „fan“ so my bet is she was the one taking the pic.

Coming to the stunt props. The „ring“ he was suddenly wearing on his pinky was from Camille. She only wore it once for a photoshoot in 2013 and then all of a sudden she wore it in every story she posted for the next 2 weeks right BEFORE he was wearing it and literally made such a show out of showing that ring that it was so cringey to watch at.

Not to forget his Pink Floyd shirt that was featured in his Rolling Stones mag interview that she not only wore but posted a few instastorys with showing it up close so every Harry fan could identify it from the distinctive holes in it.

Funny was the times she wore „his necklace“ and again posted several stories wearing it and even went to an event with it that Kendall wore before. After people pointed the connection to Kendall out, she never wore it again 😂😂 Harry being papped leaving a gym while wearing Camilles ex shirt was peak comedy.

Camille making a post saying „goodbye“ to her friend Lauren before Christmas in a really distinctive fur coat. Then New Years dinner pics with Jeff, Camille and co came out. Harry looking bored as always around her. Then the weirdest thing: he took fan pics while holding Camilles distinctive fur coat in his hands in every fucking pic. And it wasn’t that cold to wear a fur coat! Why couldn’t she hold it herself while he took the pics or Jeff or put it on the chair beside him? That wasn’t really slick of them.

Then Camille having a girls trip to Corsica and literally posting so fucking often being girls only in cars an what not. Harry was in London out with Mitch and was also seen on other occasions so I assume he went to Corsica for maybe 2 days max to get pics in. (Her cousin/ goddaughter of her mum posted a pic with Harry in Corsica in 2018 from that time). Mind you they could have just „dating“ for maybe 5 week’s max at that time bc they were never at the same place at the same time before maybe late June, and that’s when Robin died and he was home so I doubt that’s when they met. I assume 1.st proper meeting was in early July or after the Grimmy interview.

Harry filmed the Manchester special for his album in Manchester literally right before he went to HC with Camille. Yet Grimmy, one of his best friends at least at that time, never followed her or hung out together.

The next thing is her being in Holmes Chapel. She hinted at it on insta, like she did EVERY time she would be around Harry. Also appearing in every pic of him in the background when she was around. Even posted a story of random people with Harry’s voice in the background. That’s also a point why it was so obviously fake.

She posted in a train and captioned it with something like „England ❤️“ and then a cow (similar to Olivia with the hedgehog and caption) and then appeared in every pic we got of him that weekend.

She turned up to several of his shows, yet NEVER to his hometown shows (neither London or Manchester) where all his family and friends were at. She also only followed people beneficial to her career like Lambert, Jeff and co but never anyone of his real friends or family even though Gemma followed her after Christmas 2017 (which was taken as the „proof“ that they spend Christmas in HC🤦🏻‍♀️ and we got this photoshopped pic of Hamille which turned out was an old pic of originally Harry and Gemma. Glenne also never followed her and Camille was also never seen with Glenne it was only ever Jeff around and people noticed that (probably why we got now the joyride etc including Glenne).

Ok so what do we have next? The charity gig where his mum celebrated her 50th bday with everyone wearing a yellow flower crown. Everyone besides Camille. She wasn’t invited and just was brought to them while Harry was already singing a song, Gemma looking annoyed in the video her friend posted. Before Harry’s set was over someone came and took Camille with them again while Anne, Gemma and co stayed in the crowd. So why was she even going to them and didn’t stay backstage if she clearly wasn’t invited to celebrate with Anne and co and left before Harry even finished his set. We got also pics of a bday dinner with Anne, Harry, Gemma and all the friends from the concert but without Camille. This was also the gig where he was groped on stage.

After that charity gig in late October Harry went to tour in Europe. He stopped wearing the ring and seemed happier than before somehow. I went to the Cologne show and let me tell you, it was fucking nuts! His energy and the way he was smirking all the time not to forget Kiwi twice.

You’d think Camille would have been quiet now on sm that Harry wasn’t around, but it was exactly the opposite! It was like as if she had to remind everyone that that „relationship“ was still „on“ after he ditched that ring bc she was literally unbearable on insta. We got her and friends singing SOTT on karaoke (while she was wearing the Kendall necklace like mentioned previously), then she did a whole photoshoot (sorry but that’s just what it was) with her friends Djuna + Nik whit a very distinctive blue totebag Harry was carrying around just a week or two before while meeting fans in LA and she did the same thing like she did with the ring and posed with that bag in every angle. As if all that wasn’t enough in the space of 3 days she then celebrated Halloween with her friends and 2 or 3 of them wore costumes that reminded of 1D and Harry. All this happened between his cologne show and Halloween. Trolling at its best.

Then Camille decided to turn up to tour in Europe but she didn’t choose days when he actually had time off (even though she evidently didn’t do anything in LA besides trolling the last few days) so she decided to pop up when Harry had shows back to back and needed to travel to them as they were all over Europe. He had two more Berlin 7.11. and an event in London on the 6th) before she turned up on 8.11. in Amsterdam where she met Ella his cousin who followed Camille then (but Camille never followed back), 9.11. Italy x-factor, 10.11. Milan , 11.11. London X-Factor). He clearly didn’t have any time then which gets even more ridiculous if you know that she was back in LA by Monday the 13th the latest bc a photographer „exposed“ her being on set early that day. So why did she even bother turning up to tour that time when she could have done earlier and be at his homeshows?

Another thing is, when Harry went to NYC at the end of January 2018 to perform with Fleetwood Mac he didn’t take her instead he took Jeff and Xander was there as well. But no Camille. Right before was one of the rare times they got papped. Harry as always looking irritated around her. And them looking as if the soccer mom collected her son from practice😂

On his b-day her friend Lauren posted Camille chilling at their home reading and hanging out with her. Harry was officially MIA but a good friend of mine actually saw him while walking her dog the next day in Hampstead rather covered up with another guy (assuming his trainer or PA) trying not to be seen. She is not a huge fan of Harry and only knows him bc I‘ m a fan but she texted me right away saying something was weird about how he was trying to not be seen.

And on cue allegedly someone (real estate Agent from London) said he was on her flight to London over a week later (even though I knew he was already there for a while).

So the last time they were actually seen together was the day they were papped (I think that was even the day of the Grammys).

Then the thing about her quitting smoking bc she was „ dating“ Harry 🤣🤣. The way she even lied about that. She posted a video and made a few instastorys throughout that year to say how long she didn’t smoke at that time „bla, bla, bla“ and Harries ate that shit up. She was caught so many times lying in regards to that. Her friends and co were the ones to always expose her accidentally. She appeared in so many stories in her friends stories were she smoked a cigarette and not „just“ a juul like she always liked to pretend (not that a juul would be any better lol). Harry probably didn’t like it when he had to be around her for longer periods of time and she would smoke around him or smell of smoke so she had to pretend she cared for his sake and quit publicly. To say is also that she publicly started smoking again after she came back from tour end of March/beginning of April 2018.

Now speaking of the big tour in 2018. Camille seemed to had joined tour again at some point. She was at the Paris show like mentioned earlier but then only joined tour 2 dates or something later in. Someone „exposed“ her of staying with friends in each city she went on tour with at that time instead of staying with him. I think he also got fed up with her bc Harry & band + some of the crew went to museums in each city. But of course Camille had to post something every time they were at a museum and so it didn’t take long till fans caught on and turned up en masse in these museums so he couldn’t go there anymore. I would have been pissed too if I were him. And girls who’s dad is the director of one of the museums did meet Harry at the museum and he invited them to the show and backstage. These girls said Harry and Camille didn’t look or behave like a couple at the museum, he was mostly around the band and she on her own. And backstage the same thing. She was kinda just there and nothing more. Not long after that she left tour and only turned up at the Ireland show and then later the NYC and LA one.

Speaking of the Ireland show, that must have been the most awkward thing ever. I saw a few videos from people who did constantly film the side of the stage and she is staying alone there with the sound guys while Mabel was performing and Harry was standing backstage with Jeff and the band, watching Mabel and preparing for their prank they did on Mabel.

Twice Harry is walking past Camille and didn’t even acknowledge her. She was once again just standing there. You could almost feel bad for her, but only almost. Then he went to prank Mabel on stage with the rest of the band and was so affectionate with Mabel something you never saw him be with Camille.

After that show the trolling did turn down a bit for a while but like 2 days before the concert she posted a Mick Jagger pic and everyone knew she would turn up in NYC. And she proved us right bc she posted about being on a plane the minute she stepped foot in said plane 🤦🏻‍♀️. At the show itself she was in the crowd/pit with with Xander, Waseem, Matt Hitt & Jeff but Jeff had to fetch her again a lanyard at first for that day bc she still hadn’t one although allegedly „dating“ him for nearly a year at that time. You’d think she had one for the whole tour but nope. And after the concert Harry was once again out with friends while she stayed with another friend in NYC. Between the NYC and LA show she was seen being cosy with Alexander Skarsgard and then her now bf Theo Niarchos. To the LA show she turned up with Djuna, Nik and another friend. All of them sat up pretty high in the nosebleeds while Kendall and co where in the family and friends lounge right above pit. And Camille and co left a little earlier before the show finished and left through the front entrance. Suspicious is also that the „break up“ was announced like exactly on the year mark of the start their „relationship“. Sorry that I wrote so much. And I probably still missed a lot but I hope it’s gotten clear what I mean.

I'm still reading this through but wanted to post for those asking about it!!

Thank you!

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littlemisskookie · 7 years

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First High school Relationship? :)

Sometimes I don’t think I’m very attractive, but then I think back to this, and I think “well I certainly look better now than I did as a Freshman, so that’s gotta mean something”.

Let me make this clear. I didn’t really go into long term relationships back then because if I did, I’d have to actually like the person. And to be frank, I didn’t really like any of the people I dated that year.

Let me explain, and let me say that before you comment about what a shitty person I am, you’re absolutely right.

This has to do with Carol from Vaping Adventures and even the boy briefly mentioned in The Seniors. And a few other stories.

It began a bit after I became friends with Carol. During that party, we spent the night in our underwear and in each other’s arms, where she’d do my makeup and talk shit about the other girls and such, and bonded closely to me. Now we were having lunch together and walking through the halls. One particular day, a Sophmore from my Intro to Theater class walked past, and Carol asked me who he was. I responded that he was… Diego.

Diego was rather hated in my class, the only other Sophmore boy other than the one who also worked in the Tech Booth (a friend of my crush’s and Bryan’s, and he’s pretty wild, more on him in The Tech Booth). Diego voiced his unruly opinions that hurt our rather bratty and sensitive freshmen girls, though I was pretty chill with him. I never spoke to him before, but I didn’t really have an opinion on him.

Carol asked me to ask him to walk with us, and though he was this buff Hispanic guy who I didn’t think would be her type (her on and off boyfriend was a sleaze under 5 foot, the typical emo white guy), I obliged.

I asked him in class as we were putting our things away if he would walk with us, and though he was rather confused, he agreed. He and Carol hit it off, talking on and on about how they lost their virginities and how they were interested in each other, where his arm would be around her shoulders when she wasn’t holding hands with me (in a friendly way, at the moment). But the thing was, she had a boyfriend. I talked with her endlessly on the phone to break-up with the boyfriend who was cheating on her as well, to start going out with Diego, but she stalled until she did it after about a week.

Now, she started going out with Diego, who was smitten already… until two days later, when they broke up. I was walking with her through the halls, asking what happened, and he said he didn’t like her hanging out with so many guys, so she dumped him.

I suppose Carol had a thing where she couldn’t stand being single because right there in that hallway she asked me to be her girlfriend. I hadn’t been in a relationship in high school at the moment, so I shrugged and said OK, why not?

She’d have her arm around me as we walked through the halls, and we still ate, but everything was the same as before. It wasn’t anything new, really, and I didn’t feel anything. I liked how she made me feel that night like I was interesting, and she was interesting, but it faded when I felt as though I ran out of things to talk about. It was boring.

I mentioned that on her Insta profile she still had her on and off boyfriend on her bio, which she changed to my name. Not even a week after we started dating I noticed she changed it back to her on and off boyfriend, which I was honestly fine with. You’d think I was heartbroken or hurt or betrayed- but I saw it coming and didn’t care. I didn’t experience heartbreak freshman year.

But not even a day later it was Hero vs. Villan day, where during Spirit week everyone dressed as something different each day. Diego and I still spoke to each other, and though lately, he was more chatty than usual with me, I didn’t mind. One day, when he was dressed as Heath Ledger’s version of the Joker, he asked me for my Snapchat.

I was like sure, and let him write down my username. That night, he texted me saying how ‘my smile lit up the room’ and how my ‘eyes twinkled like stars’. I was a stupid 14-year-old, I thought I could K-Drama myself out of that bullshit of a guy who only knew me for two weeks, so I thought what if I got a fake boyfriend?

Yeah, I know. I’m an idiot.

Now, before I get into the story, some background. There was a boy in my Gym class, the one me, my childhood friend, and Alex shared. I remember I asked them who they were staring at, and they said it was the hot foreign student.

Now, I’ll name him… Jose. (I’m naming all of the Hispanic ones with Hispanic names BTW). Jose was hot, sure. There was a lot of drama involving how many girls were crushing on him and such… but he wasn’t my type. While Alex and my other friend were gushing over his looks, I simply shrugged and said, “He’s OK.”

See, he was hot, undeniably for a freshman, but my type was like my crush… dorky and sweet, with a bit of a dirty side. Interesting to the point where I wouldn’t get bored being in their presence. Those were the ones I liked, the nerds. Sue me, nerds have bigger dicks than you’d think.

Anyways.

So he was a student who came here from Venezuela (pray for Venezuela right now you guys), and he had a thick accent I couldn’t really make out at first, but like my two Hispanic friends, Alex, and the other girl, he was fluent in Spanish. That’s a key point for later.

So one day they were trying to take sneaky pictures (as girls do) and I shook my head, because “pfff amateurs!” and taught them how to take the ‘pretend selfie’. Basically, you simply pretend you’re taking a selfie, but point and flip around the camera where it’s taking pictures of someone else.

It’s really stupid, and obvious, and I’m sure he caught on. But there was some point where he had his arm crossed over his leg, phone in hand, and a picture of my friend on his screen. We freaked out, and I approached him, laughing as I made him add us on Snapchat. He was embarrassed, but already I was enjoying his presence. That night he posted some really depressing things on his story, and I told him he could come to me for anything. Now, he told us later he had a crush on a Sophmore girl I’d get in a feud with later that semester, but soon enough he and I became best friends, and I was the closest to him even out of my other two friends, who were both fluent in Spanish, though I didn’t speak much. Sure, a language barrier, and I speak fast and he speaks with an accent, but it worked out.

Now that I’ve got you caught up, back to the story.

Now, because Jose was my best guy friend, I thought he could help me and not have feelings. I’d just make him tell this guy Diego to back off. So I text him asking for a favor. He asks what favor. I say I need him to be my boyfriend. He’s like, ‘wait, do you like me?’

At this point, I get the sense something is off.

“Wait,” I text. “Do you like ME?”

He confessed he did. Now, I was baffled. Me, of the three girls, when he supposedly had another crush (who was dating a senior at the moment) liked ME? I didn’t even speak Spanish!

Now, Jose was suicidal and depressed, and I was too afraid to turn him down, especially now that I led him on, so I said that I liked him too. But he said he’d ask me out the next day, in person, because he didn’t want to do it over text (bless his soul). So I went back to Diego and said that I was ‘talking’ with someone else.

So then, Jose and I were talking in class, where I told him about how I was re-reading Harry Potter and such, and soon in the hallway (because he was stalling) I asked if he was going to ask me out to be his girlfriend yet. He said he was scared, and I told my other two friends to walk ahead of me, and he and I hugged, blah blah, he asked me out, my two friends were spying, and then we ate lunch separately. Not event wo minutes after I sat down two girls approached me and asked if I was really dating Jose. Word spread fast about me ‘dating the hot Venezuelan guy’, and people and girls I didn’t even know were asking me if it were true.

Now, I would’ve been fine dating like this. One or two girls came to me saying how he was eating with two other girls (the Sophmore he had a crush on and a girl who had a crush on him) but I trusted him and didn’t care. Now, I would’ve been fine with this sort of thing honestly. Jose and I were still getting to know each other, but I liked speaking with him and such. There was one day where he was crying in the middle of class, but I left him alone and gave him alone time, where he later revealed he had some sort of mood disorder (he claimed bipolar, but the symptoms were very different and inaccurate, though it’s common to misplace mood disorders as bipolar disorder, believe it or not).

Now, like I said, I could’ve dealt with the struggles of this. Except for one thing.

He started falling for me pretty hard. He’d tag me in photos about how he looked into my eyes and fell in love (seriously my eyes are dirt brown why do people seem to obsess over them) and he was constantly making these gestures and texts that made me just feel… uncomfortable. It wasn’t anything wrong with him, it was something wrong with me.

My friends admitted that if it went on any longer he’d fall in love with me, and guilt ate me up knowing he’d only get hurt worse. I broke up with him later, and he understood like the perfect gentle man he was, and after that we became best friends, where I set him up with his next girlfriend who he had only been talking to for three days.

Now look, during that year I practically held him up on strings, like a puppet. A morbid and sociopathic thing to say, but it was the truth. He’d do anything I asked and trusted my every word- I knew best is what he seemed to think. So when an old friend came to me (fuck her too) and told me she was crushing on him, I was ecstatic. Had I so much as forbid it, he would’ve cast her aside, but because of my persuasion, he entered a relationship that would last well over a year or two if I remember correctly. She shared the strings, and soon enough she had them on her own, though the relationship soon became unhealthy after she couldn’t handle his mental issues, and I had to carry him myself to support him since she wouldn’t, and she still strung him along.

She was often jealous of how close I was to him because I was his ex, but I paid no mind to it. I no longer held any strings to use him, nor did I want to, though Jose was the type to depend on someone else’s every word instead of his own. I still looked out after him though, giving him advice and such, and being the one who more often than not comforted him when his girlfriend didn’t. It wasn’t anything I could stop, of course, because he loved her, and though I was anxious and worried enough to monitor the relationship so that he wouldn’t pounce on her, I think I knew deep down this wouldn’t be good for anyone.

The last relationship I was in Freshman year was involved with a girl across the country. That’s right, online dating, where I dated a hot Sophmore who would send videos and pictures to me (not lewd) and we’d flirt for about a month in an open relationship. I wasn’t fond of the open relationship, and even the guys more or less looked down on that aspect, thinking of it as not really dating or simply friends with benefits (though they admitted she was hot and that was how I came out to them). Eventually she and I stopped speaking, though I missed ranting to her about what my shitty friends had done and she’d rant to me about her family things.

And I didn’t love or really like a single one (OK I sorta liked the girls). But there was one who I did love, and that was the crush. But that’s a story for another time.

#storytime

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