#has it been a month since Mimi is married?

[mimiwuvyou]

Sweet mimi how is having 2 husbands? 🐰🐥🐯💜

It's the best thing ever!!! Mimi now can stay with KooKoo and TaeTae together. Nothing really changed much though...other than the nice feeling of knowing KooKoo and TaeTae will always be here for Mimi!

[tyudearyous]

good heart, bad heart - k.ys

pairings : kang yeosang x reader (f)

genre : angst, fluff

themes : romance, ennui in a relationship and overcoming it

wc : 3.6k

author's note : i cried writing this man... am i too emotional but i hope you get slightly emotional too LMAO

🎵 mimi - youra

masterlist

...

the buds of the flowers slipped on the forehead

i think of you enough to get hot

it makes it pretty hot

plates clinking from the cutleries, an unspeakable silence between you and your lover. it has been months since things started to get weird in your relationship. you kept fighting, endlessly. it wasn't even anybody's fault, but you kept fighting. yeosang usually is a quiet one and he doesn't complain much but somehow these past few months, he'd been starting arguments left and right over the smallest little things. was it exhaustion that depleted him of his emotional capability? or was he falling out of love? you genuinely don't know.

yeosang finished his meal before you do and stood up to wash his dishes. "i'll do the dishes tonight. you can rest, sang-ie" you said while trying to finish your meal. "it's fine" he shrugged it off and washed his dishes. you were a slow eater, while yeosang wasn't. he would wait for you to finish your food before doing the dishes, usually. but yeah, he hasn't been like that recently.

he finished cleaning the dishes relatively quickly before entering your shared room. you were left alone yet again, sadly eating the dish that has gone cold from how long you were eating. when the click of the door was heard, tears started to well up your eyes.

where did it go wrong, genuinely?

...

i find my dreams in vain arms

i look for the young trace

it makes me cry sadly

it was your second anniversary. you both were homebodies, so you didn't really bother to spend it elsewhere. just each other's company is more than enough. "can you wear the dress i bought you last time?" yeosang suddenly asked you. you tilted your head in confusion. he was smiling, he was planning on something.

"just do it, won't you baby?" he pouted with puppy eyes begging you to say yes. you laughed at his desperation, so you agreed on it. once you got changed, suddenly the yeosang who was wearing a simple t shirt suddenly wore a dress shirt which sleeves are rolled to expose his forearms. "suddenly?" you ask him in a mocking tone. "go get ready, i'll be waiting in the living room okay" he kisses your forehead before going out of the room. he's definitely planning something.

you did your makeup lightly and curled your hair to create loose curls that added volume to your hair. when you were finished, you went out and saw yeosang holding an entire bouquet to you. "happy anniversary, my love" he smiles extra proudly. you couldn't help but laugh at how adorable he is.

"did you plan this all?" you took the flowers from his hand and smelled them. it was a bouquet full of the flowers you loved. white roses, baby breaths and several asters scattered. "this is just the first one, you know? so... you ready for the next one?" he asked you. you nodded in enthusiasm.

soon, the two of you were off to a nearby lake. it was nearing night, so the sun was setting. "so, um..." yeosang nervously said after the two of you walked plenty on the lake area. "what is it?" you chuckled. he was getting all blushy and embarrassed. you then scooted closer to tidy up his freshly bleached hair, tucking the parts that were getting near his eyes to his ears. "since we've been you know? it's the second year but i made up my mind, you know?" yeosang continued. "what do you mean by that, hmm?" you were admiring his features. how did you get so lucky with yeosang huh? you were broken from your trance when yeosang suddenly went down on his knees. "um, these... promise rings... i know you don't want to get married yet and we haven't even finished our degrees too but i've made up my mind you know" he proposed. "oh my" you covered your mouth in pure happiness. he then put the ring on your ring finger and looked at you with pure love and adoration. you immediately went in for a hug.

that moment was pure joy for you.

...

good heart, bad heart

take it off only enough that it won't be a sin

bad heart, that bad heart

whose neck are you going to bite?

good heart, that bad heart

doesn't that tree have a season to lower its head?

bad heart, that bad heart

those pretty hands, those pretty eyes

post graduation, the two of you immediately decided to start cohabitating. you both chose a simple one bedroom apartment because you didn't mind sharing a bed anyway. it had been nearly 4 years into your relationship and your relationship got sturdier than ever. yeosang genuinely was the best boyfriend you could ever ask. he was caring and understanding. he even took the time and effort to memorize what you liked, what you disliked, what are your pet peeves and everything. basically everything about you. you couldn't be more than grateful to be with him.

"yeo" you called out to him. the two of you were laying down on the makeshift bed you made after unpacking almost half of the things you both brought. "mm?" yeosang was visibly tired. his hair is very messy now and he was sweating buckets. you moved his hair slightly to reveal his birthmark. you then used your fingers to trace around his birthmark.

"do you know, birthmarks are where you were most kissed in your past life?" you asked, jokingly. yeosang immediately laughed at the random "fact" you said. "oh yeah? what about this life?" he asked with a smug grin. "well of course it's here!" you moved forward to place a chaste kiss on his lips. he smiled into the case before encasing your body with his arms to continue the kiss.

this was pure bliss on earth, for you, and for him...?

...

disappear slightly

why did mimi leave me

why is love gone?

friend, please find me

post graduation, the two of you were hit with reality. the real world is tough and ruthless. barely giving the two of you space to be with each other. your time were spent mostly in the cubicles of your offices and it became increasingly hard to properly find time to properly be with each other. sure, you lived together but the only thing you do is sleep and eat breakfast and dinner together. that's it, no cuddles, no kisses, nothing.

perhaps this was the start of the downfall of your relationship.

perhaps this was the start of where it all went wrong.

"yeo, can you squeeze in time this saturday?" you asked him during dinner. he sighed loudly. "y/n, i told you we're having a big project and i can't leave it alone" he spoke with a slightly annoyed tone.

"but, mom is coming over and" "so what? that's your mom. it's not like i must be there? i'm sure she only wants to see you, not me" he slammed his cutleries, resulting in a loud cling resonating through the apartment.

you took another big sigh. "why are you acting this way? i only asked you. i didn't force you to? you didn't have to be so mad. why are you like this?" you tried holding back the tears that were threatening to stream down your face. "i'm tired, y/n. can't you see?" yeosang replied with a tone that sliced your heart open. it wasn't too loud but it wasn't like him. it wasn't him, it wasn't the yeosang you knew.

"do you think i'm not tired too? i never take it out on you though!" you threw your cutleries to the table before standing up and letting out the biggest sigh you could make.

"you're just being over sensitive. i'm not taking it out on you" yeosang argued. you really couldn't take an argument with him right now, so you went to the bathroom to cry and lock yourself for a second.

why are we like this, you thought.

...

disappear slightly

why did mimi leave me?

we meet again

we are again, we are again

"it's weird seeing you here" jooyeon poked at you. "oh come on, some people need to take it out on, you know?" you opened the bottle of soju with ease before taking shots after shots. you rarely went out to drink because you'd drink at home with yeosang usually. "did something happen?" yuri asked you before giving you a piece of grilled chicken feet. "thanks and no, don't worry about me" you immediately devoured the food. honestly? the ones yeosang made you tasted better but it wasn't an option right now.

"yeah, you don't bother going out usually. what's up? is it about yeosang?" jooyeon asked you. you took a second before nodding your head. you then explained everything to jooyeon and yuri, while downing nearly 2 bottles of soju by yourself.

"okay halt on the drinks, so you're saying he's changed?" jooyeon kept your alcohol intake in check. you nodded. "i don't know, i know he's tired but he shouldn't have done that..." you pouted before taking another bite of the food you ordered.

"maybe it's ennui" yuri stated. you tilted your head. "perhaps he's feeling ennui. you've been dating for what now? five years?" you nodded. "he's tired and he probably thinks your relationship was just becoming a bother to him but he doesn't have the heart to break it off, causing him to be sensitive, you know?" yuri explained and you broke into tears. yuri and jooyeon immediately panicked and apologized to you for making you cry.

everything yuri said made sense and it just hurts your heart even more. because you know that what she said was true on some levels and because you know, he was probably getting tired of you.

after the crying fiasco, you wrapped up your reunion dinner. yuri and jooyeon were picked up by their partners respectively while you were there, going home alone even though you have yeosang. it was lonely but you didn't want to strike his nerves so you held in the feeling. your eyes were probably puffy as heck by now. you cried so much on yuri's shoulders, her coat probably has a huge patch of tears now.

it hurts so much, you wished for things to get better but it just seems impossible.

...

between sleep and some sleep

i think of you enough to get hot

it makes it pretty hot

yeosang had been going around the apartment, wondering where you'd be. it was almost 11 PM now and you weren't home yet. you'd usually tell him if you were working overtime but then you'd finish your overtime by 10 PM usually. he tried calling your phone but you didn't pick up. he was waiting in front of your apartment building, worried and scared. scared you'll leave him.

when your silhouette was visible from afar, he immediately ran to grab you and hug you. "where were you, gosh" whilst hugging you tightly. you didn't hug him back, you didn't have the capacity to. "i went to drink with jooyeon and yuri, don't worry" before pulling him away. yeosang was taken aback. "you drank? and you didn't ask me to pick you up? what the hell y/n?" he was getting furious. "you're tired aren't you? i didn't want to bother you, that's all." you replied, not even bothering to spare him a glance.

"what the hell? if you drank you shouldn't have... sigh it's helpless with you" he picked up his pace to walk in front of you. "see! you're always like this" you cried out again. "like what!?" he turned his back to see you completely broke down in tears. when he realized you were crying, he walked closer to you and cupped your cheeks.

i have to do it until the day is bright

i was eating soft grass

it makes me remember sadly with tears

"shit, i'm sorry. i'm so sorry okay? don't cry" he was feeling guilt pool over him when he finally saw how puffy your eyes were. how you had visible tear stains from your mascara running down. he used the sleeves of his hoodie to wipe off your tears.

"you're always like this, that's exactly why i went home alone even when jooyeon and yuri were picked up by their boyfriends. do you not know how embarrassed i was to cry in front of them just because i felt lonely? you would never understand yeosang, you never would" it felt as if a lump formed on your throat and it was incredibly hard to even properly speak.

"i'm sorry, forgive me okay? i'll be better okay? call me next time you drink, please. i was worried" yeosang explained while kissing of your tears away.

"if you were worried you should've never done any of that to me" you stared at him while biting your lips to hold back your tears. "please don't be like this, y/n. let's just get inside okay? you're cold, okay?" yeosang tried to calm you down.

"no, kang yeosang. just how long are you going to feign ignorance to everything? i'm hurting and you don't even understand. do you know i cry every night in the bathroom? you don't right? why? are you tired of me? is that why you kept raising your voice at me every single time i try to talk to you? am i annoying to you now? answer me kang yeosang!" you were screaming at this point. passerbys were looking at you but you couldn't care less. it was the only time you could talk to him, a moment where he won't raise his voice to you because you were raising your voice to him.

"if you're so tired of me, let's just break up. we can cancel the lease, it's expiring soon anyways. i'll return this ring to you, happily even. i can move away fast if you needed me to. i won't... i won't annoy you anymore" you were crying again. you were so tired of crying that your legs simply gave out and you were now on the ground, crying. you felt so miserable.

"don't be like this, come on. let's go home, okay? my love?" he was crying as well. your heart that was already crushed now shattered to pieces. "come on, my love. let's go home okay?" he hugged you while crying into the sides of your neck. he then stood up to make yoiu stand up and walk back home with him. the entire elevator ride he held your hands, so tightly as if you were going to slip away any moment.

good heart, bad heart

take it off only enough that it won't be a sin

bad heart, that bad heart

whose neck are you going to bite?

when the two of you arrived back home, yeosang was quiet. he was probably collecting composure. he then took of your coat for you and even took care of your shoes. this was his apology perhaps.

"you haven't answered me yet" you broke the silence. yeosang just looked straight into your eyes and started begging you to not be like this. tears welled up on his eyes again.

"i asked you, do you wish to end things? because if you do, i'd gladly give you the chance, yeosang-ah" you asked him. "y/n. if you leave me i'd gladly die. i'm sorry for being a bitch. i'm sorry for neglecting you but i don't want you to leave, no just don't leave me. i can't live without you. i can't do it" he begged down to his knees while holding your hand, so desperately.

"then you shouldn't have... you even stopped waiting for me to eat you shit. you know damn well i eat long, you used to wait but you stopped. you kept arguing with me, you kept making me cry every night. you hypocrite" you weren't ready to forgive him that easily. you weren't planning to. it hurt too much for you to immediately forgive him just because he begged for forgiveness.

"i know, i messed up. i'm sorry okay, baby? please. give me another chance. i won't disappoint, please?" he stood up to cup your cheeks asking for forgiveness. you didn't respond, at all. you only stared straight at his eyes. he was sincere but, it hurt too much...

good heart, that bad heart

doesn't that tree have a season to lower its head?

bad heart, that bad heart

those pretty hands, those pretty eyes

seeing your lack of response, he leaned in to place a kiss on your eyes. "i promise i won't make you cry anymore. i promise you won't have to sneak out of our bed to cry in the bathroom again. i promise i would wait for you no matter how long you eat. i promise i would love you with all of me again. so, come back to me please?" he then leaned in to kiss you. it was gentle but all the emotions within it was way too strong to not be felt.

he pulled back slightly to look at your reaction. you immediately brought him in again for another kiss. it was more aggressive this time, heck you even grazed his lips, causing a wound to appear. none of you cared though. none of you cared about anything but to make up for all the lost time between you both.

...

disappear slightly

why did mimi leave me?

why is love gone?

friend, please find me

"i'm sorry, okay" yeosang tucked your stray hair to your ears. you were now laying in bed together. this time though, you were in his embrace. you didn't answer, you just nuzzled further into his embrace. he then kissed the top of your head. before interlocking your hands with his to kiss your ring finger that adorned the promise ring he gave you 3 years ago.

"we'll work this out. we will" he reassured you. "you know?" you said, making him tilt his head. "i hate how despite everything you put me through, i still love you so bad. i love you you asshole" you said, making him laugh slightly before hugging you again, making you go deeper into his embrace. he muttered apologies while hugging you.

everything will be alright, everything will be alright.

...

disappear slightly

why did mimi leave me?

we meet again

we are again, we are again

"sorry! did you wait long?" yeosang ran towards you, who was waiting in front of his office. "precisely 21 minutes, so i guess pretty long?" you pouted slightly, teasing him. he sighed before ruffling your hair. "you're becoming feisty now huh?" he teased you. you then snuck your tongue out to him, earning a hearty laugh from him.

he then guided you to his car that was parked on the parking lot next to his office. once you both were in the car, he drove off to a lake. the lake where you celebrated your second anniversary. "we're here" yeosang unbuckled your seatbelts. you tilted your head in confusion. "come on, just follow me" he opened the door for you and guided you to an area where the moonlight reflected so beautifully on the lake.

in that area as well, there were roses and candles adorning the entire area. "what is this, yeo?" you asked him. he didn't answer but he was smiling. was he planning on something?

"we've been through a lot, right?" he asked you before taking your hands and holding it. "what are you doing?" you asked, confusedly. he then took off your promise ring and went down on his knees.

"y/n. i may have disappointed you a lot along the way but, i love you too much. i want to prove myself better for you. i love you so much, y/n." then he brought out the small red box. "will you, spend your entire life with me? please? i promise i'll treat you well. i'd bring you happiness, heck even i'd buy that overpriced pink couch you loved so much if you wanted to. what i mean is, would you marry me?" he was fumbling over his words but his point came across.

you immediately cried before nodding and saying yes. "yes?" he asked. "yes, kang yeosang yes. i'd like to be your wife, please" you managed to say despite the happy tears causing your words to become slightly mumbled. he then stood up to hug you immediately.

"oh wait the ring!" he clumsily puts the ring onto your ring finger before hugging you once again. "you dumbo" you said before pulling him in for a kiss.

love never left the two of you.

between the good heart and the bad heart,

the two of you were complete nonetheless

the end.

[tonkatsubowl]

false love. vi

jing yuan x fem!reader

nsfw themes (cursing and stuff i think. mentions of domestic abuse and self harm. mentions of suicide. no, jing yuan aint hurting u bb girl). read at your own risk.

english isn’t my first language, so please don’t mind the grammatical errors. (っ◞‸◟ c)

⪩ arranged marriage. the reader and jing yuan have an arranged marriage and she is stuck, disliking every moment of it, until…

TERM DIRECTORY

◖y/n: your name

◖e/c: eye color

◖h/c: hair color

◖l/n: last name

part one. ꕤ part two. ꕤ part three. ꕤ part four. ꕤ part five. ꕤ part seven.

ꕤ requested tag: @20forty9

in terms of time, it had been months since you were officially married...almost a year had passed, and almost weeks had occurred since your attempted kidnapping.

but the truth was still hidden from you.

however, unbeknownst to you, your father had been arrested a long time ago, but the knowledge that you had in regards to this? nothing.

it was getting colder, and the season of autumn had already greeted you with a loving embrace. summer was already hot enough as it was, so you were enjoying the autumn breeze that welcomed you with lovingness.

you sat outside, leaning against mimi and watched the view of the sunset of xianzhou luofu as you held a warm cup of jasmine tea in both of your hands. mimi's warmth combined with the coziness of the tea brought you joy, especially in your life as this very moment. it took time, but you came to realize what peace truly meant, and what happiness was.

but you still weren't healed.

you still flinched when someone rose their hand, when someone barely raises their voice at you, but that didn't stop you from realizing your potential future to great joy.

...and it didn't stop you from actually falling for jing yuan. you came to realize how much...you loved him, and how much you were grateful that his marriage had occurred. but you didn't have the heart to tell jing yuan 'i love you', yet.

after all, you believed that he didn't love you, and only married you for business related things.

"y/n."

you hear jing yuan's voice call out to you from a random direction, your heart beginning to flutter as your gaze casted towards the general. your eyes lit up, practically sparkling from joy. you wanted to go and embrace him, but mimi was already possessive of you. she lifted her paw, laying it over your chest as she yawned, giving jing yuan a rather concerning look...

jing yuan chuckled as he approached you and his beloved fluffy comrade, reaching out to rub mimi on the head. "there you are, y/n. i was looking all over for you." he said in a quiet voice, sitting down next to you.

there was a warm smile across your face, watching as jing yuan approached the two of you. "jing yuan...hello."

there was his gentle smile, but his eyes softened. "...there's something i want to tell you."

you blink, innocently peering over to him, your head tilted to the side. you were silent, allowing him to speak...

...but the man stared at you for a brief moment before chuckling, shaking his head. "...actually, never mind. it's getting late. shall i bring you to your room?"

...right. although the two of you were married for a long time, the two of you haven't slept in the same bed at all due to your discomfort of sharing a bed with someone you barely knew. but this time, from the time you spent here, you began to realize how much you can trust jing yuan. he had saved you, fed you, gave you a home with a roof over your head, and he has protected you. you can definitely trust him. your heart didn't tell you otherwise.

"...a-actually," you looked down, pink dusting your cheek as you placed your cup of tea on the small low-table nearby. you felt mimi huff, as though she predicted what you were going to say, "...may...may i sleep next to you tonight? i..." your hands came together, timidly avoiding eye contact with your husband, "...i, uh. i just...feel safer with you, that way. i-i mean, look. if it isn't a big issue...actually, uh, let me rephrase that. n-never mind what i said, i don't want to bother y⸻"

"⸻yes." jing yuan stops you, his smile widening.

you flare up, your eyes casting back towards the male as you fell silent. you wanted to pass out right then and there, but you were joyous to his response to your question.

"why would i not allow you?" jing yuan tilted his head as he extended a hand towards you, "you are my wife, are you not? you have a rightful place by my side."

you were silent for a moment before you took his hand, raising yourself up. you hear mimi grumble, laying her chin upon her paws as she went back to her nap.

"..r..right." you murmur. "it's..it's getting late. the sun is already gone and the moon is up..."

jing yuan nodded. "yes, y/n. let us depart."

when you enter jing yuan's room, it was like seeing the most wealthiest master bedroom you ever laid your eyes upon. everything was neat and clean, it was all completely organized...but some of his furniture seemed untouched. his bookshelf nearby seemed rather dusted, but the only thing that seemed truly active was the table that resided within the room. upon it were maps, little figurines to indicate enemies...it was a place to discuss your strategics, but it seems like he did this alone before conducting his plan with his allies.

you wander around as your house servants enter with the clothes you wore, placing them in a separate area in jing yuan's....well, your room now. you gently sat upon the bed that seemed bigger than a king size mattress, and you felt your rear sink into the soft cushion of the bed. you lay back, your eyes peeled towards the ceiling as you admired everything in silence.

the memory foam of the bed was enough to try to make you fall asleep here and then, but you didn't. jing yuan was here, and the moment the house servants left, you sat up.

"your room is...beautiful." you say, admiring everything, still.

"ahaha. is it?" he questioned in the background.

"yes!"

you could hear the shuffling of his armor and his clothing being moved around, and your eyes curiously peeked over...only to see him don himself in a more comfortable clothing. a silk robe, and only his chest was visible.

you were respectfully looking at his chest, but you immediately looked away when he saw you staring at him for a moment. you were red, and he enjoyed witnessing your naivete. so, he chuckled moving alongside next to you, getting ready for bed on his end.

"well, goodnight, y/n." jing yuan said as he moved under his comforter, turning his back to you as he began to sleep. you nodded slowly, responding with a quiet, "g-goodnight, jing yuan," before doing the same.

both of your backs were turned, facing each other. you tried to close your eyes...but you were too nervous...and too, well, awake? the tea had certainly caused you to feel some sort of exhaustion as well as cuddling with mimi. but you definitely were awake this time, for whatever reason. your heart was racing, and it was most likely because you were sharing the bed of a general...now.

well, this was your life from now on, and you were realizing it.

a few moments later, you turn your head, and jing yuan hadn't turned at all. you assumed he had fallen asleep, given he was silent for about thirty minutes straight... ...but you looked at his back, and admired those broad shoulders of his. the silk robe he wore exposed a bit of his neck, and due to gravity's gift, you could see a bit of his back too. you could see the scars, and you knew each one told a story.

"...jing yuan?" you whispered.

no response. the man was asleep.

you shuffle closer, taking a closer look at his back... your hands reach out to him slowly, the pad of your thumb tracing across the scar. it was soft and almost rigid, as though it were recently fresh. there was a worried look upon your face as you shuffle even closer...

"...you've...been through a lot, haven't you?" you whisper. "...i'm sorry. now i feel terrible."

slowly, you shuffle even closer to the general, moving your arms towards his waist. you embrace him from behind, your face buried into his back.

...

...

that was when you felt his arms curl around you, pulling you close to his chest. you blink, suddenly finding yourself against the man's figure as you were pulled closer to him. he held you close, and you were caught red handed.

"ah⸻"

jing yuan buried his nose into your hair, silent for a moment. "why do you feel terrible?"

he asked in a low voice, stroking your back.

you fell silent again, inhaling his scent and embracing the softness of his exposed chest, "...because i'm probably...a lot for you to handle. you've been through so much, i bet, and now you have to deal with me."

you hear jing yuan chuckle softly to himself, stroking your hair now, "goodness. your anxiety is troubling isn't it?"

you blink, looking up.

his golden eyes are softly illuminate within the darkness that the two of you were sharing, but you couldn't look away.

"...i..." you were at loss for words. the man who held you at this very moment was...beautiful. too beautiful.

"..." jing yuan was silent, mirroring your actions. he had looked at you, admiring the beauty that laid before him. he almost felt bad for you, as you were forced into this marriage and took you forever to practically trust him. you had thought you felt awful? goodness, no, jing yuan was the one with anxiety here. but he was awfully good at hiding it.

the two of you were silent for a bit.

"...jing yuan..." you murmur. you raise your head, your eyes fixated to his lips.

jing yuan lowered his head, inclining his finger under your chin, lifting your gaze.

your lips were slowly met with his⸻and you immediately adored the softness of his brims that brushed against yours. when the two of you retracted your heads away, jing yuan sputtered, showing a rare side of embarrassment.

"...i-i. ahem. i apologize. i shouldn't have done that without your permission⸻"

you silence him with another, reeling him towards you as you tugged on his silk robe, pulling him in for another kiss. this time, it was fiery, passionate. hungry. you breathe heavily, feeling his hands run towards your waist, pulling you in closer.

you retract your head for air, red to the face. "j-jing yuan, um... i'm sorry. i... this is my first time doing this. k-kissing and all." you murmur.

jing yuan shook his head. kindness shown in his eyes, keeping you close to his chest.

"i won't rush into anything without your permission." he reassured you. "as long as you are comfortable. then i am happy."

you breathed, tugging at a piece of your clothing.

jing yuan blinked, noticing the gesture. he was more experienced, and...seeing that you were a virgin, he had to be extra gentle with you.

"...if you are sure, y/n. i am not opposed to it, but," he whispered, beginning to slip your robe down your shoulders as he now laid on top of you, looking down upon you.

"...please tell me if it starts to hurt you."

[livelovesimallways]

"Prayed Up....." 🎵

(Previous)

(Previous following Dana's story)

Moses and I finally arrived home a couple of days ago after an amazing honeymoon. We spent nearly three months traveling, relaxing and enjoying the best parts of what make us...us. After taking some time for ourselves, letting our friends and family know we were back became top priority. While I reached out on my end, Moses was reluctant to do the same. He says he wants to, "protect his peace", which leads me to believe something serious is going on. Although I fully understand where he is coming from, avoiding things never helps. I just hope that, "protecting his peace", doesn't make a situation worse or leave people in the dark.

Later on that day.....

"So hold on...Let me get this straight...Sean was messing around with that Julia chick outside of Dana's rules? Deanna found out and told her?"

"Basically..."

"Damn...I wonder why she didn't tell me? It seemed like everything was going well. She even sent me their finished wedding plan." *sounding confused*

"Maybe it is for her. She probably feels like what's done is done. Shit, my moms used to get like that whenever my father got caught."

"Humph...I remember having those days myself. You're probably right. Now I feel terrible. Dana isn't the type to come crying about her problems either. She'll tell you, but won't get emotional about it. She keeps a lot bottled up."

"Yeah she's a good ass person too. She don't deserve that shit." *looks down then shakes his head*

"So was this why you were avoiding calls?"

"I mean it's part of it. Sean's been like my brother since high school, but him still doing dumb shit just ain't sittin right with me. I thought he was makin progress but, that ain't the case. I don't know if I want to be around all that. Too much potential to have me in some shit."

"In some shit like?...."

"Being put on the spot to cover, or getting questioned over something he did."

"But that only happened once right?" *narrows her eyes*

"You really want me to answer that? Shit, we both know not to ask questions we really don't want the answers to. You're gonna feel obligated to tell her and neither one of us is trying to stir up past things. She knows what kind of dude she has. Obviously we want better for her, but she's sticking beside him. There's no need to dig."

*sighs* "Fine...I'll leave it alone. What's done in the dark always comes to light anyway, so..." *her phone starts ringing, cutting her off* "Oh look, it's Nica, another person you've been avoiding. I'll put it on speaker."

A Few Days Later.......

"I'm just not understanding why you won't tell your sister you're pregnant? Like, I know it's not ideal, but you're in a good place. You're starting your career at that tech giant and you can stay here as long as you want. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. Trust me, I've seen worse. The train wreck that is my father is a great example, and he's a multi-millionaire. You have a village: your sister, me and my family. You just have to embrace it. "

"Look...Mimi I get you're trying to help, but please leave it alone. That's not why..." *get choked up*

"Then what is it? I'm here for you, seriously..."

*whispers* "Fuck...."

"Damn...Umm...I didn't mean to upset you. You don't have to..."

"No, I do. Just please don't judge until you hear everything. The reason why I'm scared to tell her is because it's Sean's baby..." *tells her their entire history*

"Whew...That's a lot." *pauses for a few seconds* "Sleeping with your sister's man is foul as fuck, Dee. I get the whole college and first love thing before they met, but she's the one with him now...Has been for the past what, six years? And now a baby? You have to tell her before she marries this man."

"I know...I will..."

"This is crazy but, as much as I want to rant, I feel bad for you. He's manipulated this entire situation since you were eighteen. He was twenty-four and he knew to take advantage of your naivety. Now he says he loves you? He's full of shit and is using that as a way to keep you quiet and around." *pauses in thought* "Shit!..."

"What's wrong?"

"Remember a few days ago you were throwing up a lot?"

"Yeah?..."

"Well, I got scared and called Nica for advice. She had a rough first trimester so I figured she could help. I told her it was for you."

"Do you think she told anyone?" *extra concerned*

"I mean, it's possible, but that was a few days ago. I feel like if your sister knew she would've been knocking on the door. I'm gonna call Nica and check. But regardless, Dana's gonna find out sooner or later. You can't hide a baby bump and Sean's family has some strong genes. When the baby comes out looking like him..."

"Girl!...I get it. Can you please just call your sister for me? I'll figure it out from there."

To Be Continued......

Next

[shiningwonderland]

Camus (All Star)

Translator: Mimi (Twitter: _mimisaurora)

Proofreader: Lala (Twitter: i_am_gamer)

Editors: Noemi (Twitter: dreaminbeyond), Snail (Twitter: herbert_snail)

Chapter Five — Fate is Prestissimo

It's now February, and the weather has grown colder.

After hearing that mysterious voice at the end of January, things have gotten frigid between Camus and me.

Late one night, as I'm composing in the living room, I recognize the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs.

Haruka Nanami: Ah… Camus-senpai.

Camus: What is this? Why are you still awake at this hour? Doing something like this will affect your work tomorrow.

Haruka Nanami: But, Senpai... I saw the lights on in your room. You've been up all night too.

Camus: Hmph. Who knew you could afford the time to worry over others. Next month determines the course of your career, or have you forgotten that important little detail?

Haruka Nanami: S-sorry….

He huffed and plopped himself down on the sofa.

The day that the mysterious voice announced the Queen and Cecil-san's engagement, he'd told me to 'forget everything that's just happened,' and had retreated to his bedroom.

From that point on, he's been spending time either out somewhere or shut away in his bedroom whenever he isn't working.

He's rarely spending time in the living room like he used to.

Haruka Nanami: Um, can I get you something to drink...?

Camus: Sure,coffee… no, I'll have black tea. I want to fall asleep later.

As I place a cup of tea on the table, he lets out sigh as he gazes into the steaming tea.

The tension has lifted a little. I might... be able to talk to him now.

Haruka Nanami: So… is it true that Cecil-san and the Queen are going to marry?

Camus: I've already told you to forget about it. It is none of your business.

Haruka Nanami: But… after seeing it, after hearing it, I want to know more. That light, and that voice….

I've never forgotten that light I had seen back in October, and I just can't turn my mind away from this mystery anymore.

But Senpai remains indifferent.

Camus: As I've said before, this has nothing to do with you. It involves a world unlike yours. Curiosity kills the cat, you know.

With that, he goes back to his bedroom without so much as a sip of his tea.

Alexander and I are the only ones at home the following day, as Camus-senpai has been out since morning.

After we finish eating, Alexander sleeps on his favorite cushion while I take care of the usual chores.

As I clean the bedside table, I notice the cold perfume bottle.

I hear a strange sound, like radio noise, similar to what I had heard the last time I'd touched it.

Haruka Nanami: I wonder what that was all about….

I pull the books off the shelf and pick up the perfume bottle.

Haruka Nanami: Ah, it's… that sound again…. I knew this was the reason.

I'd jerked my hand back in surprise at the sound, but this time I hold it in my palm and examine it closely.

Haruka Nanami: It appears to be an ordinary bottle, but….

As soon as I tilt my head, I feel a sudden cold breeze.

It's warm inside the house though, and the heater's on.

Perhaps I have forgotten to close the window.

Queen: Girl... answer me.

Listen to my voice….

Hand over that body of yours….

I've found it….

Haruka Nanami: Huh...? Did I just…

Is it my imagination? I heard a woman's voice just now.

Haruka Nanami: T-that….

My vision warps abruptly. The perfume bottle in my hand grows even colder, and goosebumps prickle my skin.

Something is coming. I just know it.

A chill pierces through my head, along with a sudden flash of white light….

The surrounding temperature suddenly drops. It's as if I'm being taken by the head and spun around and around in circles, nearly losing consciousness.

I grit my teeth and struggle to stay conscious, but then….

The next thing I know, I realize I can't move my body.

Eh...?

I remain rooted in place, standing with the perfume in hand.

I can see clearly, and I can feel my hands and feet, but I can't move a single finger, as if my body were not my own.

How… why?

Haruka Nanami: Oh…! It worked!

H-huh…? My mouth just spoke on its own….

As I stand confused, my hands clap all on their own, as if my body's reacting to something wonderful that has just happened.

Haruka Nanami: Oh my. I can move freely, right down to my fingertips. I am now a free woman!

Who is this? Who is moving me around without my permission? Who is speaking with my mouth?

I feel dizzy. I have no idea what's going on.

I feel my body shift into a thoughtful pose while my brow furrows, despite my confusion.

Haruka Nanami: Strange… why did Camus keep quiet about finding such a great vessel…?

Senpai's… name?

My lips definitely just uttered his name for some reason…

It was then that I hear the sound of the front door opening, followed by footsteps climbing the stairs.

Is Camus-senpai back?

The "something" that occupied my body also notices this, and smiles happily as they turn my head to glance down the stairs.

Haruka Nanami: He's here? Good timing. I'll pretend to be the girl since I'm here anyway. Hehe.

Camus: Haruka, I'm back. What are you doing in my bedroom…?

Haruka Nanami: Welcome home, Senpai!

My body greeted him with a big grin on my face.

Haruka Nanami: I hope you had a good day at work today.

I dash over to him with a giggle and collect his satchel.

Camus: A-ah… what's with you today? Did something happen? You're not your usual self.

Haruka Nanami: Nothing of the sort, Camus-senpai. More importantly, did you want to take a bath? Would you like to eat? Or maybe you want me?

Camus: Haruka... you sound half asleep.

The "something" coughs, averting my eyes from Senpai's suspicious gaze.

Haruka Nanami: How blasé. You are truly a boring man.

Camus: Hey. Haruka?

Haruka Nanami: Don't worry, sir! I'll go and prepare dinner right now.

Smiling and laughing again, the "something" tries to turn around and...

They hit my foot on the corner of the dresser and my body falls to the floor.

Haruka Nanami: OW!! Camus! Why would you position your dresser in such a place!

I turn around and yell at him. Our eyes meet as he stiffens in astonishment… and my body stops moving.

Haruka Nanami: Ah….

Camus: Are you really… Your Majesty?

Huh…?

Camus-senpai stands rooted in place with a startled look on his face.

My body gets up and looks back at him joyfully.

Haruka Nanami: There's no use in keeping this up now that the secret is out. Mm. It really is me.

You have found a fine substitute. Camus. You will receive your reward in due time.

Those words snap him back to reality and he scrambles down to kneel in a panic.

Haruka Nanami: That's all right. Look up. We are not in Silk Palace. No need to be so formal.

Camus: And yet, you are the Queen, so I cannot oblige.

Haruka Nanami: I said I am fine with it. Lift your head.

He finally rises to his feet after some urging.

Is this really...? Is the Queen of Silk Palace really occupying my body right now...?

The Queen, somehow possessing my body, continues to address Senpai with pleasure, while Senpai maintains a troubled look on his face.

Haruka Nanami: Yes indeed, this body is a perfect fit. Camus, I have made my decision. I will live as this girl from this day forward. I will not be returning to Silk Palace.

Huh? Whaaat?!

Camus: Your Majesty! What are you saying? The girl may indeed possess the potential to serve as a vessel, but she has yet to be tested….

Haruka Nanami: We don't need to test it. There certainly is no better substitute.

Camus: To advance before adjustments can be made is dangerous. Moreover, what would the kingdom become without Your Majesty?

Senpai seems a bit reluctant to continue.

Camus: I believe this is an important time for yourself as well, Your Majesty, with your imminent marriage….

Haruka Nanami: Don't talk about that!! I will hear none of it.

The Queen's cheery tone suddenly becomes abrasive and the atmosphere fills with tension.

She bites my lip grimly, spitting out her next words.

Haruka Nanami: ...I will never marry. I refuse, especially to the prince of Agna Palace.

Camus: Your Majesty, this is a diplomatic affair between our nations….

Haruka Nanami: Silence!!

...Camus. You know, don't you? Kotomi Aijima, Queen of Agna Palace… you know who she truly is.

Camus: …

With that single comment, Camus-senpai falls silent. The queen turned my gaze away from him and murmurs to herself.

Haruka Nanami: I have sworn to endure any and all things for the good of Silk Palace, but….

I cannot do this. To have to call her son my husband and her my mother? ...I can't bear it. I just can't do it.

Shaking my head to express her displeasure, she turns to look over at Senpai.

Haruka Nanami: The woman is blameless. I have heard that she is a great queen. Still, she's insufferable.

The mood is heavy, and Senpai replies uneasily.

Camus: I understand your heartache. But please, Your Majesty, try to compose yourself.

His voice is kind, and his eyes are tender.

He's looking straight at me, but he sees the Queen.

His gaze is so gentle, unlike any I had ever seen from him before, a gaze so earnest that I could tell at first glance that he is looking at someone more precious to him than anybody else.

Camus: I will find a way to resolve this marriage for you. So for now, let's get you back to your original body….

Haruka Nanami: ...I hate this.

The queen shakes my head again.

Haruka Nanami: I'm not returning to my body. I'm... tired.

I will live in Japan as this girl. I can stay close to Saotome if I do. I can be close to him and see him.

Camus: Then what will happen to the kingdom and its people? If Your Majesty, who is in charge of political affairs, is absent….

Haruka Nanami: There are plenty of people clamoring for power. Gone will be the troublesome woman, leaving behind nothing but a husk. Everyone will be happy.

The queen sneers to herself.

Haruka Nanami: I'm sure you're well aware of that. They don't need me—they only need my power.

If they want power, if they want the country, they can have it. In exchange, I will have my freedom.

Camus: That is exactly why you need to go back… besides, what will happen to the girl if you take her body?

He says "the girl" as if I were a complete stranger.

Camus: Your Majesty, please reconsider your decision. This is not in your best interest.

Haruka Nanami: Quiet. Who do you think you are addressing?

The queen glares at him and he bows his head in silence.

Haruka Nanami: What could you possibly know? You don't understand a single bit of my pain, so get off your high horse.

Camus: I apologize deeply for the trouble. But….

Haruka Nanami: When I say I have made up my mind, I mean it. I shall live as this girl, starting today.

Camus: Your Majesty. Please give this humble man a chance for once. I will absolutely solve the problem and show you. So please….

The queen bit my bottom lip.

Haruka Nanami: Are you defying me? You're all grown up now.

Camus: I would never dare to disobey you. Everything is for you, Your Majesty. For Silk Palace.

Haruka Nanami: I told you to be quiet. You, who sings about freedom in a foreign land, don't deserve to have any opinions about me.

Camus: Hng…! I would never dare.

Haruka Nanami: Hm. It appears that you are enjoying life in this country quite a bit. Have you become so comfortable that you've forgotten your duty here?

Reports on Saotome have been delayed as of late. Perhaps you've been frittering away your time here, taking advantage of the fact that I cannot see you.

Camus: Of course not, Your Majesty. I am dedicated to your service at all times.

Senpai tries his best to beg her to go back for the sake of the kingdom and herself, but she just keeps shaking my head.

Haruka Nanami: All you can say is "for your sake, for your sake", but you don't understand a thing....

The queen trails off, lost in thought, then my lips twitch into a frosty smile.

Haruka Nanami: ...That's right. Camus, if you are so insistent that I return, then you must come back with me.

Camus: Your Majesty…?

Haruka Nanami: You serve me, do you not? If you expect me to suffer for the sake of my kingdom, you should be willing to do the same.

If you wish to suffer along with me while I endure the pain of spending the rest of my life alone in that miserable prison called a palace, I will do it.

Camus: Your Majesty, I….

Haruka Nanami: Hmph. You can't even do that. There is no one who can understand what I'm going through.

...I shall leave for now. Finish adjusting this vessel as soon as possible. Do not tell me you cannot.

As soon as she gives her last order, my body starts to grow lighter and lighter, and my mind reels as her presence slips out of my head.

Camus: Your Majesty! Please wait….

The queen's consciousness disappears, and my eyelids blink rapidly of their own accord.

Have I... been released?

The instant I realize this, I lose my footing. Senpai catches me in place as I stagger.

Haruka Nanami: Ah… Senpai….

Camus: Haruka… is that you? You're back to yourself.

Haruka Nanami: Y-yes. It's me.

He sighs deeply and embraces me tightly.

Haruka Nanami: Uh… um….

I catch the sound of a heartbeat, but I can't tell if it's mine or his in my disoriented state.

The rapid turn of events leave me feeling faint, and I have no idea what is going on.

Camus: Are you in pain anywhere? Can you feel your limbs?

He releases me for a moment and takes my fingers in his large hands.

Camus: You can feel my touch, yes?

Haruka Nanami: Y-yes, I can feel it.

Camus: Alright…. That's good.

He let out another deep sigh and quickly withdrew his hands.

Select the phrase!

Grab his sleeve (+20 Love)

I suddenly grab onto one of his sleeves.

Haruka Nanami: Wait….

Camus: What's wrong? Are you hurt somewhere after all?

Haruka Nanami: No….

He lets out a small sigh and reaches out to hold my hand, reassuring me.

Camus: I suppose it's understandable you're upset, but now that I'm here, I will explain everything. I'm sorry.

I'm still dizzy, so he sits me down on the bed and heads for his desk.

I watch him make a phone call to someone as I sit on the bed, dazed.

Camus: ...It's me. We need to talk. Come to my house. I do not care what you have to do. You come when I say to. This is about you, Aijima.

Senpai then leads me to the living room.

I am still a bit light-headed and unable to move around properly.

He fetches a cup of tea from the kitchen for me, and when I try to pick it up, I can barely move my hand.

Camus: Have a drink, it will warm you up. It may take a while for Aijima to get here. Now... where do I even begin to explain?

He ponders for a moment, then holds out one of his hands in front of me.

In his palm is the pocket watch he always carries around with him.

His lips moves faintly, and he lets out a small cough.

Immediately after, I feel a sudden cold gust of wind blowing from somewhere, and fluttering around his palm, snow begins to fall.

Haruka Nanami: Ah….

Is this... the same snow I saw when I spilled his hot chocolate...?

I rub my eyes, but this time the snow remains. It dances around in the wind and piles up on the table.

Haruka Nanami: Are you... are you a wizard?

Camus: I am not. I'm just an ordinary human being with no real magical abilities. This power is only something I borrowed from Her Majesty.

He shows me his pocket watch and explains to me.

Magic has always been a part of life in Silk Palace, but only the queen has magical abilities.

She is able to imbue various tools with her power to share it with others.

Haruka Nanami: So the perfume bottle in your bedroom….

Camus: That's right. The liquid in that bottle is the most suitable substance to store Her Majesty's power.

The magic in that bottle is for communication.

The magic in the pocket watch is essential for Senpai to fulfill his mission here in Japan.

This is how the queen distributes her power to her people, and even protects the entirety of Silk Palace from blizzards.

I had been aware of the queen's divine status, but it seems like it isn't just a metaphor. She is truly a god-like being.

Camus: But all power comes at a price. In exchange for protecting the country, Her Majesty is forbidden from leaving the palace for the rest of her life.

According to him, if the queen were to even take one step outside of the palace, her magic would be unable to reach the entire country.

Therefore, the queen is not allowed to go outside the palace under any circumstances, with the exception of the inner courtyard.

Camus: However, if she could possess another body…. Well, that's a different story.

Haruka Nanami: Was I just possessed then?

Senpai nods quietly. I remember the cold, and the fear of not being able to move my own body earlier.

Camus: But things are not that easy. There are very few vessels that could sustain Her Majesty's presence. I have searched for many years.

Haruka Nanami: She said I'd be perfect for her….

Camus: It is true that you possess such qualities. You overheard our conversation, didn't you?

The conversation I had overheard at the agency and the voice I had picked up from the white light in his room had both been spoken in Silk Palace's native language. It would sound as though Senpai was talking to himself in a foreign language to the ungifted.

Camus: But no matter how many qualities a potential candidate possesses, we must examine them thoroughly to determine if they are actually capable of being a substitute.

I have been prioritizing Saotome's case and paused my search for a vessel back in October. It's hard to say for sure….

Her Majesty's spiritual vessel is one in a million, and it's unlikely that you would be the one.

Haruka Nanami: Is that so….

Camus: Forcefully summoning Her Majesty would harm both her and the vessel. I have to persuade her somehow….

I shiver once again as the cold returns, and Senpai furrows his brow, seemingly a little distressed.

Camus: ...Please do not misunderstand Her Majesty. I realize you are distraught by endless worries, but in truth, she is a very kind woman.

Haruka Nanami: Of… of course.

Camus: Given her position, she has no close friends. The only thing keeping Her Majesty grounded is the information I provide on Saotome.

Haruka Nanami: On the president...?

Right, I have so many questions I would like to ask him about the attack on the president and the names found on the documents.

Haruka Nanami: Is your job to investigate the president?

Camus: My mission is to fulfill Her Majesty's wish to relieve her loneliness. One of the steps in doing so is to find a suitable spiritual vessel.

As long as the possibility exists, I will obey any command and obtain whatever Her Majesty desires. That is my purpose.

"Obey any command," he said, as though it were obvious.

His face softens a little in sadness.

Camus: Her Majesty is in love with Saotome. Her position as queen does not allow her to reunite with him or to confess her feelings.

Haruka Nanami: The queen and the president….

A queen of a kingdom and the president of an entertainment company. How exactly did the two of them meet?

Senpai explains, having anticipated my question.

The president had once wandered the world and nearly collapsed on his journey, only to be rescued by the Silk Palace.

She had fallen in love with the president during that time. Their difference in status had prevented her from mentioning her feelings to him and he was soon off on his journey again.

The lack of diplomatic relations between Japan and Silk Palace meant that the queen had been unaware of the president's activities until recently.

A few years ago, she had sent Camus-senpai to Japan in hopes that she could at least find a keepsake to remind her of the time she had spent with the president.

Camus: The keepsake has been safely delivered to Her Majesty. My role now is to investigate and inform Her Majesty about Saotome, as well as to keep him from harm.

Haruka Nanami: Guarding him, in other words…. So, the reason the president was attacked the other day….

Camus: It was the work of those who stand against Her Majesty. However, before I could do something about it, Saotome fought them off on his own.

Haruka Nanami: So that's what happened….

Senpai had monitored me after I was caught eavesdropping, out of fear that if the assassins had learned he was aware of their plot, they might change their plans.

He explains that he acted with extreme caution, considering the president's life had been at stake.

Haruka Nanami: You weren't the attacker after all…. Thank goodness.

I breathe a sigh of relief.

I had been sure he would never do such a thing, but hearing a proper explanation from him is incredibly welcome.

Camus: Are there any other questions you have?

Haruka Nanami: Ah… well… is the reason you're a part of the agency because it's easier to investigate and protect the president that way?

For a brief moment, a jumble of expressions crosses Senpai's face.

Camus: Well, that's part of it…. In the course of my investigation, I was spotted by Saotome and forcibly recruited.

Ah… that sure sounds like the president. He isn't one to keep quiet if he discovers someone with idol talent.

Camus: Working as an idol would allow me to be close to Saotome for my sleuthing, and it would also provide a cover for my stay in Japan.

He had thought it might be easier to find people in the music industry who have the "ears" necessary for a spiritual vessel.

Camus: An unexpected consequence, however, is that with more work comes less of an opportunity to get in touch with Saotome….

Now then, Aijima should be arriving any minute now. You can ask him anything else.

Haruka Nanami: Um, before we go any further... Kotomi Aijima is... Cecil-san's mother, isn't she?

That was the name on the documents I found in Senpai's bedroom that day, and the name the queen mentioned earlier also.

Camus: Yes. Kotomi Aijima is the queen of Agna Palace. And Saotome's beloved.

Haruka Nanami: The president…?

I would never have guessed that the president had someone like that in his life.

My mind has become a tangle of new revelations.

Camus: Don't tell Aijima about his mother's connection to Saotome. There is much in this world better left unknown.

The doorbell suddenly rings with impeccable timing. Cecil-san stands in the doorway, understandably serious.

Camus: Good of you to come, Aijima. A problem has developed concerning the betrothal between you and Her Majesty. I need your help.

Cecil Aijima: I can not say anything without hearing what happened. Please explain.

But first, could she not go to another room? I do not want to involve her in this.

Cecil-san looks at me worriedly.

Senpai tells him quite frankly that I am already involved in the matter.

Camus: I would have made her leave if she wasn't part of this. Come, don't just stand there. Sit down.

Cecil Aijima: …Alright. Camus, what really happened in Silk Palace?

Cecil-san's expression immediately grows stern as he takes a seat at Senpai's prompting.

He is usually a gentle, youthful person, but now he looks every inch a royal with his somber expression.

Upon being brought up to speed, Cecil-san shoots Senpai a disapproving glare.

Cecil Aijima: The queen used her as a spiritual vessel…. What do you and the queen think you are doing?

You mean to tell me that you have been living with her with the intention of doing this from the start? And also lied about being… together?

Camus: The cohabitation part is irrelevant. This entire situation was completely out of my control.

But… I will admit the whole "relationship" thing was a sham.

"A sham".

The reason I had begun living in this tower had been to keep me quiet and under surveillance, using being lovers as an excuse with everybody else.

So what Senpai said wasn't exactly wrong, but….

Cecil Aijima: So then, you and Muse were simply roommates?

Cecil-san studied my face as if to confirm.

Select the phrase!

No… (+20 Love)

Haruka Nanami: No….

Senpai looks surprised when I shake my head.

Camus: Haruka?! W-what are you saying?

I must explain the situation to Aijima. You no longer have to continue the lie.

The lie…. That's right, because he….

I glance back at Senpai once before nodding to Cecil-san.

Haruka Nanami: …Right. We are merely roommates.

Camus-senpai is the one who finally breaks the ice.

Camus: There is nothing we can do about what has already happened. In any case, it's not relevant anymore. Aijima, brief us on how things are on your end.

Cecil Aijima: ... All right. Haruka, the reason why the queen and I are marrying is because—

Camus: Silk Palace's government has determined that Her Majesty's powers are waning.

Cecil Aijima: Camus! You are the one who told me to explain!

Camus mollifies Cecil's indignation and sums up the whole affair as follows….

The monarchy's power has deteriorated with each passing generation, with the current queen being the weakest among them all.

The loss of the queen's power would lead to the destruction of Silk Palace, so countermeasures had been implemented many years ago to prepare for such a crisis.

Camus: That was when the proposal was arranged. I was surprised to hear about it, considering the queen marrying is an incredibly unprecedented event.

The queen of Silk Palace normally remains single for life to prevent her power from diminishing, and her successor is chosen through divination.

Camus: In Aijima's country, Agna Palace, the royal family is under the protection of Muse, the goddess of music, and they possess magical powers. Silk Palace wants to borrow that power.

Haruka Nanami: S-so that means Cecil-san can use magic too?

Cecil Aijima: Yes. Forgive me for not telling you until now.

There have been two magic users among us this whole time! The sudden turn of events leaves me feeling dizzy.

According to Camus-senpai, Cecil-san's abilities are comparable to those of the queen of Silk Palace. Who would have known someone so great would turn out to be my friend….

Cecil Aijima: Non. I am not the one who is great. Everything is thanks to the Muse.

Cecil-san smiled faintly and quietly took my hand.

Haruka Nanami: Um, I–

Cecil Aijima: Haruka, you are someone who carries the Muse in your soul. The great one here is you.

Haruka Nanami: Uh, wait, m-me…?

Cecil Aijima: You are still a bud right now. Your music, however, will surely create a miracle someday. I pray I can be the one to bring that flower into bloom. Ow!

Camus-senpai smacks Cecil-san upside the head.

Camus: Keep with the program, you idiot. Now is not the time for this.

For the record, I don't believe in this Muse hogwash. It all sounds like a bunch of nonsense.

Cecil Aijima: Non! I will not tolerate any insult against Muse! Ah... I refuse to be the king of a country inhabited by people like you.

Camus: And I refuse to even have a king like you. The very thought of someone ruling my kingdom with no reverence for Her Majesty is repulsive.

Cecil Aijima: Hmph….

Camus: Now quit your moping and explain your country's situation, idiot.

While he and Camus both glare at each other, Cecil begins explaining his side of the situation….

Despite Cecil being a prince with the right to inherit the throne, his mother being a foreigner weakens his position in Agna Palace's royal court.

This presents a huge problem because if the position of the king is weak, it could lead to disorder in the country.

But should he receive the support of Silk Palace, which holds a superior position in regards to national power, no one would be able to complain about Cecil's succession to the throne.

At least, that's what the people around him believe.

Haruka Nanami: In other words, you're saying both countries would benefit from this.

Cecil Aijima: Yes. This is why I cannot refuse this marriage proposal.

Haruka Nanami: But neither you nor the queen want this….

Camus: Such is the nature of arranged marriages between royalty. They don't often get a choice in the matter.

What we don't understand, however, is how we were kept in the dark for so long before this proposal was announced as a foregone conclusion.

Cecil Aijima: Yes. I am the one who is getting married, but I was not told about it until after the fact. This is odd.

They continue their conversation in earnest.

I could only listen carefully since I am only nominally involved.

And yet….

The whole thing is coming at me so fast that I just can't keep up with it all, or maybe I'm still in a daze.

I keep subconsciously recalling Camus-senpai's expression from earlier too, that tender expression he'd given the queen while she'd possessed me... again and again, it comes to mind….

Even after Cecil had left, my head feels like the fog hasn't cleared yet.

Haruka Nanami: ….

Camus: What's wrong? You look a little pale.

Haruka Nanami: Huh? Oh, nothing….

Camus: I hope you're not experiencing any adverse effects from the possession now. Are you getting any chills?

Haruka Nanami: No… I'm fine.

I'm sure nothing is wrong with my body. Still, he looks troubled when I shake my head.

Camus: She forced herself on you. I have no idea how this will affect you. Go get some rest tonight.

Haruka Nanami: Alright….

Senpai, I know you're worried about me. But….

The earlier conversations are still playing themselves out in my mind.

Magic, possession, the queen, a prince, and the agency president... it was all so hard to believe.

Although, I feel like I now finally understand something that had eluded me for so long.

Why did he come to Japan? Why did he always look so busy?

And most of all… what motivated his unwavering dedication?

I had noticed it in his gaze as he had addressed the queen. That's when it clicked for me.

Camus-senpai… is in love with her.

Camus-senpai has been both working as an idol and carrying out orders from the queen in this country where there is nobody from Silk Palace but him. He's someone who can seemingly do anything, but carrying out all these tasks must be tremendously difficult, and he already puts in a lot of effort every single day….

And he does all of this… for his queen's sake.

I had thought that he was like ice when we first met, that no one could possibly capture his heart, but….

From the very beginning, his mind has only been filled with thoughts of her.

Ringo Tsukimiya: Haru-chan? What's going on? You're spacing out.

I snap back to my senses at the sound of Tsukimiya-sensei's voice. I had come to the office to discuss my new job, but I guess I got distracted.

Ringo Tsukimiya: Did you hear what I said?

Haruka Nanami: Um… no… I'm sorry.

Ringo Tsukimiya: Listen. I don't mind because it's between the both of us, but what if you had been meeting with someone else?

You've been lost in your own head all day. What have you been doing? Did you get into a fight with Camus-chan?

Haruka Nanami: Ah, well….

I am taken aback, unable to find the words, and Sensei lapses into an uneasy smile.

Ringo Tsukimiya: Your face…. So I hit the nail on the head.

Haruka Nanami: I mean… I….

I don't even know what to say.

Select the phrase!

I've been a little worried about Senpai (+15 Love)

Haruka Nanami: I've been a little worried about Senpai….

Ringo Tsukimiya: What's going on with Camus-chan?

Haruka Nanami: Things aren't going so well in his country right now. And there's no way I can help….

That's right. The reason I'm so restless is due to the fact I can only stand by and watch while Camus-senpai and Cecil-san are in trouble. Sensei tilts his head to the side at my explanation.

Ringo Tsukimiya: Is that really it?

Then… why do you look so sad…?

Haruka Nanami: Because….

I falter under his gentle scrutiny.

Ringo Tsukimiya: Haru-chan, don't lie. Not to others, and not to yourself.

Haruka Nanami: I… I won't.

I shake my head and he lets out a troubled laugh.

Ringo Tsukimiya: Also, I know this is going to sound harsh, but you can't neglect your work, no matter what. Remember, you're a professional.

Even if bad things happen, you must see it through to the end. Okay?

Haruka Nanami: I know… I'm sorry.

I bow my head and he smiles at me.

Ringo Tsukimiya: Alrighty, well, let's switch gears and continue with the meeting.

Haruka Nanami: Alright!

So... in spite of my anxiety, I go about doing my very best at my job.

I work on Camus-senpai's solo song in addition to my regular tasks.

Every so often I'm aware of the stinging pang blossoming in my chest, but I try to distract myself by keeping busy, and the days fly by一

The last day of February arrives in the blink of an eye.

Camus: Ladies and gentlemen, how do you do? Today, we find ourselves in the famous hot spring resort where the drama was filmed.

It's the last day of February. Camus-senpai and Cecil-san are filming for a TV program at a long-established traditional Japanese inn. I accompany them as their attendant, watching from a distance as they continue to tape their travel program.

Camus: The zen garden looks magnificent. It's the epitome of Japanese beauty.

Senpai….

I watch his smile with mixed emotions.

The days we had spent skating together and eating chocolate fondue for Christmas feel like a distant memory.

There has been tension between us ever since the day the queen tried to possess me.

I had gone as far as baking a chocolate cake on Valentine's Day in my desire to somehow mend our relationship, but he had spent the entire day away from home一

Cecil Aijima: Camus! Camus! There is a waterfall that way!

Camus: You've got a great eye, Cecil. The highlight of this inn is that man-made waterfall. One can even view it from their open-air bath.

Cecil Aijima: Open-air bath… the hot springs, right? I cannot wait to see it! Water is very precious in my country of Agna Palace, so I envy the abundance of water in Japan.

Camus: Haha. But before we go, let's visit the restaurant first. I hear they serve a popular menu using fresh, local ingredients.

Cecil Aijima: Uh… we are near the ocean. Is it likely that they serve fish…?

Camus: Not to worry. This is a secret menu that even people like you who don't like fish can enjoy.

Cecil Aijima: Fantastic! I would like to have a look!

Camus: Now, now, you mustn't forget your job. We have a mission to guide the ladies watching us on the other side of the screen.

Cecil Aijima: Sorry… *ahem*. Well then, everyone, I am Cecil Aijima, and this is...

Camus: Camus. We will begin escorting you all to the restaurant with a view.

They are all smiles throughout the program shooting, but once break time comes around, both of them immediately take on serious expressions.

I bet they're going to talk about something important regarding their countries.

Haruka Nanami: Um, would you like me to leave…?

Senpai looks a little hesitant at my question.

Camus: No…. You're fine where you are.

The two of them delve into discussion.

Cecil-san is having a hard time finding a way to refuse the marriage proposal.

The crease between Camus-senpai's brows appears to be twice as deep as usual.

His profile appears to be somewhat distant. It could be due to the fact that I haven't seen him much lately….

Cecil Aijima: And… the queen will not listen to you at all, will she?

Camus: Well, the circumstances are what they are. Things won't be that easy.

At this rate, what will Senpai do once the queen and Cecil-san marry?

He'd be in shock… I suppose.

If it were me, and the person I loved were to get married to someone else, I'd be heartbroken.

Camus: …But something must be done. Her Majesty always acts on her word.

Cecil Aijima: I would not forgive her if that happens. We must protect the Muse.

Camus: However, as it stands, it's going to be a challenge to persuade Her Majesty to give her up as a spiritual vessel. I'll have to think of a way to appeal to her.

Haruka Nanami: Huh? Spiritual vessel… are you talking about me…?

Camus: Haruka, why are you spacing out? Someone is trying to take over your body. Have some sense of self-awareness.

Haruka Nanami: Y-yes, sir.

Seeing how upset he is, I panic.

Camus: Goodness. You remain complacent in this time of crisis. Look, I will convince Her Majesty. You keep your consciousness focused at all times.

Haruka Nanami: Understood, um… but….

Senpai had said that he would do anything the queen ordered. She is the most important to him, and I am sure he'd meant it….

On that note, why is he now trying to dissuade the queen from using my body as she wanted?

Does he really think I'm unable to be a spiritual vessel? I'd need to be tested to find out for certain.…

Haruka Nanami: Um….

I stop myself from saying anything. I can't even figure out what to ask.

Later that night, the two of them leave to present the open-air bath and other facilities for the program.

I end up alone in the room prepared for me.

Haruka Nanami: Has Camus-senpai been worried about me…?

Does he consider me more important than the queen's command?

…I don't know.

I had recently thought I could better understand Senpai's thinking.

But now I'm not so sure anymore.

Haruka Nanami: ….

I glance at my bag in the corner of the room.

I had neglected to work on Senpai's solo song for the past few days from sheer restlessness.

It's about time I opened my bag and pulled out my composition notebook.

I find comfort in looking at the bars.

Haruka Nanami: Let's… keep at this solo song.

Even if the queen is the only person in Senpai's heart, the only person who can write a song for him right now is me.

The feeling of having touched his heart the moment our sounds blended together… that is something that is mine and mine alone.

This is something that even the queen couldn't compete with. I will write a song for him.

Quietly, I pick up a pen.

Later that night, Senpai calls me to visit his room. Cecil-san is already there.

Their expressions have changed from earlier in the day. I wonder if something else has come up.

Cecil Aijima: Haruka, I have figured it out. This marriage proposal is actually a ploy.

Haruka Nanami: It's a ploy…? What does that mean?

A shadow falls over his face when I ask. He continues dejectedly.

Cecil Aijima: The people behind this marriage are my uncle and cousins.

Haruka Nanami: Your uncle? Why would he….

Cecil Aijima: They are most opposed to me because of my foreign blood.

Camus: Sources claim that they even tried to curse Aijima and expel him from the country in the past, and this marriage marks their second attempt at getting rid of him.

Even if Cecil-san were to marry the queen and become king of both countries, he only has one body.

And since the queen can't travel out to Agna Palace, he would have to live in Silk Palace instead.

Agna Palace would then be without a king in the meantime. Needless to say, there would also be a need for someone to oversee the politics in his place….

Camus: A king may be a king, but when he's not in the country, the real power rests with others. Which brings us to the conclusion that they've found a way to legitimately oust Aijima.

On the other hand, in Silk Palace, authority would be handed over from Her Majesty to Aijima.

He, however, is incompetent and ignorant of even the most basic customs of our country.

Cecil Aijima: Camus, saying I am incompetent is going too far.

Camus: When an incompetent man becomes king, he would understandably need an aide. This, too, would be an aide in name only, as they would control the real political power.

Cecil Aijima: Both countries would be usurped.

Haruka Nanami: No way…. Even knowing what you know, there's no way to stop it?

This would be terrible for both Agna Palace and Silk Palace.

A marriage that neither of them wants, that no one wants….

Cecil Aijima: I am sorry. I do not possess that kind of power.

Camus: I would have stopped it long ago if I could. The marriage serves both the countries on the surface.

Since it marks the end of a long and strained history with Agna Palace, everyone is in a hopeful mood, so the schemers won't show all their cards. How troublesome.

The two nations have had an uneasy relationship ever since the "White Devil Case" that occurred a long time ago.

Haruka Nanami: Then... there really is no choice but for Cecil-san to get married?

Camus: No, in my country, Her Majesty gets what she wants. If she is adamantly opposed, then nothing will proceed. However….

He looks distressed.

Camus: While Her Majesty would normally listen to me, right now she is distressed by everything and has given herself up to despair.

I have to do something….

After that, they both grow quiet, and a heavy silence falls over the room.

The discussion continues late into the night with no new ideas at the end of it all. Cecil-san returns to his room to prepare for more filming the next day.

Haruka Nanami: Oh… Cecil-san forgot his jacket.

I pick up his fluffy hooded down jacket.

He had taken it off in the room, but since Cecil-san is sensitive to the cold, he had come down the hallway wearing it.

Haruka Nanami: My room is near his, so I'll give it to him later.

Camus: Mm... alright.

Camus-senpai answers with a blank expression on his face. He had been lost in thought for a while now.

Haruka Nanami: Um… would you like a cup of coffee?

He wordlessly waves his hand with a dismissive gesture when I ask.

I really want to help in some way, but I keep drawing blanks as to what I can do.

As I grasp for options, Senpai suddenly breaks the silence.

Camus: Haruka, do you… like this country?

Huh…?

The question caught me off-guard. Do I... like this country?

It's something I've never thought about before. But….

Select the phrase!

Yeah, I do. (+15 Love)

Haruka Nanami: Yeah, I do.

Haruka Nanami: Yeah, I do.

I had been at a loss initially, but after thinking about it, I decide on the answer.

He narrows his eyes a little. It's hard to tell if he's happy or sad.

Camus: So you do. What do you like about it?

What's with all these questions? My curiosity is piqued, but he's completely serious about my responses.

Haruka Nanami: What do I… like about it?

I am once again stumped by a question I had never considered before, but after some thought, I answer.

Haruka Nanami: Let's see... I have family and friends living in this country, and I also love Japanese cuisine….

But more than anything, this country is where I have my dreams.

I dream of writing songs for idols in this country, and am very happy with that.

Camus: A dream…? I myself may not understand it, but I imagine it's something dear to you.

Haruka Nanami: It is.

Camus: Very well. Then... I also imagine you'd never want to leave this country.

Haruka Nanami: R-right. Uh… Senpai?

His gaze abruptly wanders. His cello sits just in front of him.

He's scheduled to perform with it in the lobby for tomorrow's filming.

Camus: Come to think of it now, I haven't heard you play the piano in a while.

Haruka Nanami: That's true….

In the past, there were many days where I would compose music in the living room and he would relax on the sofa, but not anymore.

Camus: Could you?

Haruka Nanami: Huh?

Camus: The lobby has a piano. This would be a good time to use it.

He stands up and approaches his cello.

Camus: …You don't want to?

Haruka Nanami: N-no, I'd love to!

I rush to my feet and hurry over to Senpai, who's still holding the case.

We explain to the innkeepers our interest in practicing for tomorrow, and they give us permission to play in the lobby.

Neither of us say much. I head for the piano and Senpai sets up his cello.

Camus: We haven't played together like this since… that night.

Haruka Nanami: …You're right.

In all the months we've lived together, we have never once talked about that night. I knew he remembered it too.

I peek over at him and find him wearing glasses and tuning his cello.

I'm struck by his serious expression.

And then….

He quietly arcs his bow in the air.

What song should we play? Who should go first?

We immediately ease into playing that song without needing to say anything to each other.

My piano chases after his melody. He waits for me quietly, like when we walk together.

I express with sound that I can keep up and so he quickens his pace, just like when he taught me how to skate.

It's the same song as that night, but this time it's gentler, warmer.

Perhaps it's a nostalgic tune belonging to his hometown.

But I don't ask any questions.

I'm happy as long as we can stay in sync.

Perhaps words aren't necessary.

Sliding my fingers across the piano keys, entranced by the harmonic melody….

The song approaches its climax, the overlapping tunes escalating.

Senpai's cello claims the final note.

I back away from the piano and listen to the lingering sound fade away.

It's... really over.

I can't take my hands off the keys. I can't let it end like this.

I lift my head, catching Senpai's gaze. He'd been staring at me for some time.

He asks me if I want to play another song, as if he knew how I felt.

Camus: I wish… to hear more of your music.

This time, he wordlessly urges me to play first.

I sigh briefly and turn back to the piano. I already know which song I'm going to play.

The one I've written for him, his song….

Song: "Zettai Reido Emotion" (S Rank)

As though they're melting, our two sounds become one.

I can see Senpai's heart beyond the sorrowful melody of his cello, and I believe that my outstretched hand can finally touch it.

It's just like that night forever ago… no, even more so, so happy and full of love—

Neither of us move from our positions, even after the final lingering notes have long faded away.

Camus: …That was incredible.

Haruka Nanami: Huh?

Camus: Could you play it for me again? I wish to hear you play the piano.

I sit there, momentarily stunned, as he only really ever listens to any song once and believes it's not worth listening to twice.

Joy immediately wells up inside me and a smile spreads naturally across my face.

Haruka Nanami: Y-yes! Of course!

We turn to our instruments once again.

Senpai clears his throat and mutters something shortly after the performance is over.

Camus: Your song, it's free.

Haruka Nanami: What… does that mean?

I can't help asking.

This song is intended for Camus-senpai. I wrote it thinking only of him. If he found the song to be "free", then….

Camus: Who knows… I was only saying what I felt. It's late. Let's get you back to your room.

We both return to his room since I had left my bag there.

I take my bag and Cecil's down jacket and bid him good night.

Camus: Tomorrow's filming shouldn't take too long. It would be best if you stay in your room.

Haruka Nanami: Got it….

I walk up to the door, but stop dead in my tracks.

It had only been while we performed together that I felt we had connected, but things will all go back to the way they were tomorrow if I just go back to my room now.

Haruka Nanami: Um….

Camus: That's right. I forgot to mention something.

When I turn around to speak, he speaks first.

Camus: Oh, what, did you forget something?

Haruka Nanami: No, it's just….

Come on, speak up….

Select the phrase!

Do you mind if I stay here a little longer? (+30 Love)

Senpai's eyes widen, a little surprised.

Camus: What do you think you're saying, fool? Consider the time, we're not at home.

Haruka Nanami: R-right. I'm sorry….

Camus: I didn't mean to discourage you like that, but... what is it? If you have something to say, feel free to tell me.

Haruka Nanami: Uh… it's just that….

I search for words, wanting to stay here as long as I can.

All that comes to mind is what he had said earlier.

Haruka Nanami: Senpai, when you said my song was "free"...

Camus: Yes. That's what it feels like to me.

Haruka Nanami: Um, but it's your song. So….

Do you… want to be free?

He looks surprised for a moment and is silent for a while at my question.

Then… he smiles kindly.

Camus: No, I don't.

He quietly studies my face.

Camus: I realize I am not free.

I have been chained to this life since the day I was brought into it.

Her Majesty… and I….

And yet... it's both the path I was born to take and the path I've always wanted to take.

The chains that bind me to this life are at times a source of distress, but at other times they are my pride.

I love my country and its ruler, and I am blessed to have been born to serve it.

If someone were to come tell me at this moment that I was free, I would continue to serve Her Majesty. And yet….

He looks straight at me. I can't turn away, my heart pounding.

Camus: If I were to be free, and should find the love of my life, I wonder if I'd even be capable of holding them in my arms…. It's frustrating.

Haruka Nanami: You—

He huffs, smiles, and shakes his head.

Camus: This is all just wishful thinking. I don't have nearly enough arms to hold everything I consider precious.

All right. Is that everything you wanted to say?

Haruka Nanami: Y-yeah….

Camus: Then it's my turn. If my memory serves me right, you will be fired from the agency should you lose the song festival.

Haruka Nanami: Y-yes… That's right….

Camus: Then we will take the win.

He smiles confidently, as if everything that has just happened had never occured.

Haruka Nanami: U-um, Senpai?

Camus: You should rejoice. After all, I just said I would win. I will ensure your debut.

I will sing the greatest song of all time, so that every singer will want to sing your music… so that you may continue even if I'm gone.

Haruka Nanami: What?!

I stare at him, startled, but he just keeps smiling.

Haruka Nanami: Senpai… what did you just… say?

Camus: Haruka, be free. Create music freely and comfortably. I will give you the wings to do so.

Ignoring my distress, he presses on. He looks like he's having a lot of fun at my expense.

Camus: Right. Do you have the key to the tower?

Haruka Nanami: I-I do… it's right here.

Confused, I take from my bag the duplicate key I had received for Christmas.

He glances at the key and casually snatches it from my hand, putting it in his pocket.

Camus: As of tomorrow, you are to return to your room in the dormitory.

Haruka Nanami: ?!

Camus: Why are you surprised? There's no point in keeping you quiet anymore. I'm even willing to cooperate on the solo project. There is no reason for us to live together, is there?

Haruka Nanami: But….

Camus: Well then, will you be accompanying me to Silk Palace?

Haruka Nanami: What…?

Camus: That was rhetorical. You have a dream to fulfill in Japan, don't you?

I, however, have decided to return home after the song festival. Her Majesty now needs someone by her side for support.

He makes it sound as if it's no big deal, then grabs me by the shoulders and spins me around.

Camus: Even though it was brief, it wasn't so bad living together. What's with the long face? We're done here. Now go.

He continues to push at my back.

Haruka Nanami: W-wait, Senpai….

I want to object, but my voice fails me.

Baffled, I find myself pushed out of the room in a flash.

Haruka Nanami: Camus-senpai!! Hold on, please wait…!

I call out as he forcibly removes me from his room, but he doesn't answer.

The door closes behind me.

Haruka Nanami: Are you really going back to your country…?!

I ask, but again receive no answer. The area fills with silence.

Haruka Nanami: ….

I'll just… go back to my room, I guess.

I had finally given up and was walking down the corridor at night. I shiver in the cold wind.

Haruka Nanami: It's freezing. How did it even get this cold?

It's obvious that the temperature would be cooler in February, but I hadn't thought it would be that cold until just now.

Haruka Nanami: I'll just… borrow this for now.

I slip into Cecil's down jacket I had been holding onto.

I put up the hood too, simply too cold to just throw on the jacket. It should have warmed me up, but I didn't feel any difference.

As I trudge down the hallway, I realize there is someone in the near darkness.

Three dark figures are sitting on the floor. They might be guests….

All of them were dressed in black, which I had to admit was a little scary.

As I quickened my pace to move past them, one of them shuffled to their feet.

???: That outfit… It's Cecil… Aijima.

…What?

???: You mustn't become king of our country. Now perish!!

I catch sight of a dangerous glint thrusting out toward me. The instant I see it, a furious blizzard strikes me.

Haruka Nanami: Ahh!

The wind whips at my face and chest, the snow and ice pelting my body like knives.

Haruka Nanami: Ah...! It hurts!!

I'm in pain, I'm freezing, I'm cold, and I have no idea what's going on.

The blizzard obscures my vision, and my feet wobble as I collapse in the cold.

Ah... I can't keep standing. At this rate….

Camus: Haruka! Get down!

Huh….

A white figure leaps over me just as I sink into a crouch.

Haruka Nanami: Camus-senpai…!

Camus: Who do you all work for?!

With the momentum from jumping over me, he kicks away all three of the dark figures at once, turning to look over his shoulder as he lands.

Camus: Are you all right?!

Haruka Nanami: Y-yeah. I'm… alright….

I stagger to my feet, though I'm too frozen to move properly.

Haruka Nanami: Senpai… How did…? I thought you were in your room….

I raise my head as I support myself against the wall, my teeth chattering as I tremble from the cold.

Haruka Nanami: A-ah….

My chest constricts and I begin to cough violently. Senpai bit his lip and turned back to the assailants.

The three who had been knocked down rise to their feet again and try to point the shining object they held toward us.

Assailant: Grr… It's... Earl Camus…. Of course we'd get stuck with him.

Camus: Now that you are aware, prepare yourself. You will pay for your foolishness... with your death.

The atmosphere tenses and the temperature in the area drops further.

Senpai... it's dangerous... they seem to be able to use magic too…

I want to warn him, but my voice fails to emerge from my throat.

H-huh…?

Cold. It's so cold. I'm losing strength, and feel myself losing consciousness.

I panic as my shaky vision begins to give way. I can't, if I fall down now, he'll be….

The world shifts and turns, the floor rapidly approaching.

Ah… I'm falling….

Camus: Haruka! Stay with me!

I watch as he springs to his feet, turning around and reaching his hands out to me.

I also watched as the assailants took advantage of the opportunity to escape….

I prepare for the impact of hitting the floor, but it never comes.

I wonder how. My mind is a mess, so it's not like I'm in any condition to understand anyway.

Camus: Haruka, Haruka, can you hear me?! I'm bringing you to your room at once. Keep focus until then.

My hands and feet should have been cold, but they are somehow very, very warm.

Amidst the haze of consciousness, I hear the sound of footsteps running down the hallway.

Cecil Aijima: You guys!! This is terrible! I just received word from Agna Palace that there has been a coup in Silk Palace!

What…?

What did Cecil-san just say…?

I try to open my eyes and check, but against my will, I lose consciousness.

Chapter End

[minteayoongimakesmewoozi]

Trytfullt, because I dont know how tumblr works or if you can see comment, there's a questions for the royalty AU. What would had been Ayame and Tanjirou's life had demon never showed up, add Nezuko's to that, waas she a bodyguard too or do the Kamado women had another role?

hiiii! honestly, i do see comments, but it does take me some time to reply in general. partly because of who i am as a person, but also because i'm on the + side of the gmt timezone, so i kinda have a weird sleeping schedule.

and i'm sorry i'm getting to this so late too!!! the last couple months have been hella hectic for me, but i've finally found some equilibrium uwu

anyway, some nezuko hcs for royalty au!

- this is probably odd for the time period, but the roles of the kamado women wouldn't be that far off from the role of the men

- it would be a spillover from the sengoku era, where fujiko was a demon hunter despite being a woman. i can see the kamados seeing that and emulating fujiko's strength in their daughters.

- i personally hc tanjurou as an only child, but i assume that if he had a younger siblings, they would have been takehiko's guard as well

- that being said, nezuko would have been ayame's guard if mimi-reikohime had never set foot in okutama. while she wasn't as trained in swordsmanship as tanjirou was in, er, royalty au canon (?), that was because tanjirou was assigned as ayame's guard from the time they were nine, which is when they officially start sword training with live steel

- nezuko has basic swordsmanship training since she's the eldest daughter. basically, only the eldest son and eldest daughter are the ones who have to take on the roles of guards. hanako might have been trained eventually though! but that would have been merely for her own (and misaki's) basic protection

- nezuko would have the unique position of being both ayame's guard and handmaiden tho. ayame's the first higuchi daughter born in centuries; the first hime from the higuchi line in generations.

by that time, the concept of handmaidens for the higuchi princesses would have long been lost in history. the higuchis, as kuge, are pretty self-sufficient all things considered. they have the forge, but it's more ceremonial than anything. not so much for knives and nails, but for ceremonial daggers - gifts for villagers that are getting married, have children born etc.

their blacksmithing would be more delicate as a result tho! but ayame wouldn't spend nearly as long in the forge as she did in fits canon. she had other lessons, naturally. horseback and archery would be some of them.

- nezuko would be awesome on horseback tho

as for tanyame...

- it would be unlikely they would become friends at thirteen years old. tanjirou is very bound to his duty, and his duty would have been exclusively to akihiko. ayame would remain o-ayame-hime to tanjirou for years, until he sees the way ayame treats nezuko as an equal, then he'd probably nurse a small crush on ayame.

- (listen. tanjirou falls first, but ayame always falls harder - no matter the au.)

- but would they have gotten together? I think so (bc i'm the president of the tanyame fanclub dammit)

- they would be much older tho - maybe nineteen by the time akihiko convinces tanjirou that yes, it's perfectly fine if he wants to court ayame. in fact, he would even encourage it!

- there's no one else akihiko could trust more than tanjirou to look after his eldest younger sister

- not that ayame needs to be looked after. she's very independent and headstrong

- tanjirou is probably the only person who wouldn't let her walk all over him. ayame can be such a brat sometimes. around tanjirou, she's a lot more humble. (but nezuko plays a part in ayame's humility too!)

[blue-eyed-bloodstains]

100 questions

How long have you been online today?

off and on the last few hours in between dozing

First name?

Morgan

Middle name?

not saying

Age?

turn 31 next month

Male or Female?

female

What part of the world are you from?

Pennsylvania

How tall are you?

6′0″

How’s your hair?

few inches past the shoulder and brown

What’s your favorite color?

black, cerulean blue

What color(s) are you wearing right now?

black, blue (jeans)

What’s your shoe size?

11.5 wide in women’s shoes, which means about 10/10.5 in men’s

Who owns the computer you are on?

me

What is the first thing you see when you look in the mirror?

everything I hate

What was the last dream you remember about?

all I remember was it was very vivid and fucked up nightmare

Do you have any birthmarks?

no

Do you have any tattoos?

yeah a Harry Potter one on the inside of my right wrist

Do you have any peircings?

yeah, the standard one in each ear and belly button ring

How many siblings do you have?

a stepsister by marriage and a biological half brother I’ve never met

What’s your favorite type of music?

just about most of it, I’m not real picky

What’s the worst song ever?

oh lord...Baby Shark and WAP are a good tie for me

What’s your favorite movie?

this is never possible to answer cause there’s way too many

How long ago did you watch it for the first time?

-----

What’s the worst movie ever?

can’t think of one right now but I know there’s many lol

When was the last time you went to the theatres?

last year to see Jurassic World: Dominion...way overdue for theater popcorn!

What’s your favorite show?

too many to list, same as songs and movies

What’s the worst show on television?

ugh all the reality shows like 90 Day Fiance, The Bachelor, that new one with multiple husbands or married to twins...like seriously??!

What’s in your pocket right now?

bobby pins, my carabiner (big clip with multiple keys/keychains on it altogether) 

What is your first childhood memory?

sneaking out of bed in the morning to go watch tv at Mimi’s (grandma who passed in 97) when she’d be babysitting me and getting caught lol

Are your parents still together?

nope, dad/stepmom and mom’s been single since

Are you adopted?

no

Are you strait, gay/lesbian, bi, or unsure?

straight

Are you in a relationship?

engaged

For how long?

been together since Feb 13/14 of 2016 so 7 years, engaged since Christmas day of 2020

Ever been in love?

yeah more than once

Are you in love now?

yes whole heartedly

Do you have kids?

not yet

Do you want kids?

eventually

Do you drink? How often?

recovering alcoholic so...

Do you smoke? How often?

yeah, half a pack to a pack of menthol cigs a day

Do you do drugs? What? How often?

no

Look left: What do you see?

coffee table, tv, fan

Look right: What do you see?

bathroom, kitchen

Are you right or left handed?

lefty and proud of it

Can you say the alphabet backwards?

hell no lol

How long are your fingernails?

short

Is your bedroom a mess?

ha mess is an understatement

What’s under your bed?

nothing it’s a day bed that pulls out and has drawers in the bottom so it’s on the floor no space in between

Do you keep a journal or diary?

no I used to, and used to blog on here a lot but it just turned into shares of interests and surveys lol

Do you have a house phone, cell phone, or both?

both but the landline is only for emergencies, we never use it. cell phones are our lifeline

Can you keep a secret?

yeah

What color are your curtains?

we have blinds and they’re beige

Do you remember faces or names more easily?

honestly I suck at both, it’s hard to really say if one’s slightly easier than the other

What did you eat for supper last night?

pizza and loaded potato

Who made it?

a restaurant here called Cousin’s

What is your favorite school subject?

was* and English Lit was always one of my top faves that I always aced, really loved Social Studies too

Are you in school? What grade?

nope I’m old lol I graduated 2010

How long have you been out?/When do you graduate?

13 years, graduated 2010

Can you do a handstand?

used to when I was a kid and in gymnastics but not anymore

What’s your favorite game to play?

I’m a gamer! some of my main faves are Pokemon, Zelda, Tony Hawk, Kingdom Hearts, Harry Potter, Spyro, Super Mario...also Candy Crush and Pokemon GO

I also love board games, and I’m a crosswords addict!

What’s your favorite sport?

to play, basketball and golf. to watch, football and baseball

Would you rather watch sports on TV or go to the game?

oh lord I’d love to go to a game again I’ve only ever been to one Yankee game! but yeah preferably watch at home

Ever broken a bone?

I made it 21 years without any, unfortunately late 2013 I finally did it...broke my right collarbone :|

Ever had surgery?

many for skin tumor removals and jaw cyst removals due to my rare form of cancer I was born with 

Ever embarrassed yourself in public?

psshh a lot yeah

What happened?

a variety of different things, nothing real crazy just usual small stuff most everybody’s had happen one or twice in their lives lol

Ever had a long distance relationship?

had to due to deployment with my ex, he was active Air Force at the time and it was hell...never again.

Ever had an online relationship?

not exclusively online, however I have dabbled in dating sites, the last of which is how I met my fiance so it finally after several horror stories worked out in the end :D

Would you ever do it/do it again?

hopefully not

What do you hear right now?

TV in the background

What are you afraid of?

the dark, complete silence, being abandoned, losing everyone I love especially due to death, spiders, heights above a certain point, failure...

Do you like scary movies?

fuckin LOVE THEM!

Ever gotten a prank phone call?

no

Are you thirsty?

not really

What was the last thing you had to drink?

drinking Pepsi right now

How well can you hoola hoop?

enough to pass lol

Who is the most annoying person you know?

mom

What is your dream job right now?

I’m currently in a place mentally where I’m interested in being a criminal investigator or reporter

What was your dream job in kindergarten?

to be a vet

Do you have a job now? What?

haven’t worked in 5 years due to medical condtions that lost me 3 jobs in just under a year the last I was working...once I have a car again which should be pretty soon, I’m gonna apply for DoorDash this way I’m working again but it’s as little physicality as possible to make it easier 

What would you do with $1,000,000?

pay off debt, save up for us to move, finally plan our wedding and have it

Do you have any pets?

yeah a cat named Danyell (inside joke on the spelling) 

Do you have any hidden talents?

I personally don’t think so but who knows?

Are you double jointed?

my thumbs are

Can you dance?

hell no I’m a white girl all the way with no rhythm lol

What color are your eyes?

blue

Do you need glasses/contacts?

glasses, I’m severely nearsighted I need em all the time

When is your birthday?

May 1992

What would be the best present?

given my current situation over this past year, a car

What is the worst present you ever received?

a screaming match of family drama and domestic violence.

What is your pet peeve?

got several lol being interrupted, competition with experiences like someone always has to one up you and make it like their life is way worse than yours for attention kind of thing, triggers, slow drivers, being ignored, judgmental assholes, entitled people...etc.

What did you do last Saturday?

waited for my fiance to finally get home from a job in New Zealand to be home for a little over a week before he has to go back next week

Did you shower today?

nope

If you were one of Snow White’s seven dwarfs, which one would you be?

Dopey or Sleepy, for sure

What will you do after you finish this survey?

probably another one lol I’m bored

How much sleep did you get last night?

an hour or so here and there...basically shit sleep

What kind of chair are you sitting in?

I’m stretched out on the couch

Ever been to jail? For what?

no thank god

When you go swimming do you like oceans, lakes, or pools?

ocean’s fine, long as I don’t go out too far but it’s usually pools

What is the temperature outside?

49 degrees F

What do you want the temperature to be?

around low 70s F

Congratulations and here’s the last question:

okay

What did you think of it, be honest:

it was alright

[televinita]

Library Triage

WHAT, it’s been... almost a month since the last one... and I found myself with a whole bunch of duos all of a sudden.

(I am absolutely not going to finish all of these without getting distracted, because I just kinda went hog-wild with checkouts last time, but you know what’s fun? OPTIONS.)

The Pink House - Louise Platt Hauck: An r/whatwasthatbook post described this as “cottagecore ASMR” and “a book about when you set up your own household for the first time,” and that is MY DREAM. I’ve never heard of this 1930s author, but everything I looked up about her books made me instantly thrilled, so I also requested...

Family Matters - Louise Platt Hauck: setting up a household, but make it about getting married and starting a family. These ILL loans should be at the library in a few more days and I am PUMPED.

The Siren of Sussex and/or The Belle of Belgrave Square - Mimi Matthews: Historical heroines who love horses!! Bring them 2 me. I can’t decide which one I want to start with, as the former appears more heavily focused on working with horses and features a half-Indian love interest who OBVIOUSLY will be Dev Patel in my head, while the latter is the one I originally went to get, a Beauty and the Beast retelling with a more beautiful horse, except she’s a stepmother in this one.

Happily Ever Afters and/or One True Loves - Elise Bryant: much like the above, I went to pick up the 2nd book and was surprised to find it was the second book in a series, and now they both look awesome and I don’t know which girl’s story I want to dive into ifrst.

The Arctic Curry Club - Dani Redd: IDK, this just feels like the right time of year to read a women’s fiction book set in Alaska.

Texas Gothic - Rosemary Clement-Moore: “but what if I just tossed over everything on my TBR for this random magical-realism YA novel I found while trying to hunt out what turned out to be a different book for someone on the r/whatsthatbook sub.” Because this one kind of reminds me of the amount of magic in Spellbook of the Lost and Found, but also there’s ghosts, and ALSO this one starts with farm-sitting and I am immediately in love with the description of trying to keep goats in their pen. AND, if I like this one, it has a sequel. ...that my library doesn’t have of course, rrr.

Gizelle’s Bucket List: My Life with a Very Large Dog - Lauren Watt: I am probably not going to read this yet, but my library didn’t have it when I added it to my TBR years ago, and on my last visit I walked right past a large-type version on display, so SWIPE! (they do not have a regular-type version, I checked) And I’ll probably keep it until I hit the checkout limit, juuust in case.

Now I just have to figure out which one I’m actually most excited to read next. It’s been two full days without cracking open a cover and I’ve gotten very “I can’t read suddenly, I don’t know.” I’m thinking Texas Gothic or Arctic Curry Club...we’ll see which one grabs me faster after three test pages.

[update: the answer is Texas Gothic. Halfway through and actively forcing myself to slow down because I am enjoying it so much; might even give it 5 stars for the hell of it]

[also, hilariously, Gizelle’s Bucket List ended up being my 2nd read from this set]

[mediaevalmusereads]

A Holiday by Gaslight: A Victorian Christmas Novella. By Mimi Matthews. Perfectly Proper Press, 2018.

Rating: 4.5/5 stars

Genre: historical romance, novella

Part of a Series? No

Summary: Sophie Appersett is quite willing to marry outside of her class to ensure the survival of her family. But the darkly handsome Mr. Edward Sharpe is no run-of-the-mill London merchant. He’s grim and silent. A man of little emotion—or perhaps no emotion at all. After two months of courtship, she’s ready to put an end to things.

But severing ties with her taciturn suitor isn’t as straightforward as Sophie envisioned. Her parents are outraged. And then there’s Charles Darwin, Prince Albert, and that dratted gaslight. What’s a girl to do except invite Mr. Sharpe to Appersett House for Christmas and give him one last chance to win her? Only this time there’ll be no false formality. This time they’ll get to know each other for who they really are.

***Full review under the cut.***

Content Warnings: child favoritism, misogyny

Overview: This is my second attempt at reading a Christmas-themed romance, and like the first, I went with something written by an author whose work I've enjoyed in the past. Overall, I found this book to be quite charming. Matthews has a real talent for pacing and developing the relationship between protagonists, and I loved the way class and wealth were explored. This book is also a clean romance (no graphic sex), so it's also good for people who are curious about the romance genre but aren't keen on the smut. Because I found it so enjoyable, this book gets a high rating from me.

Writing: I've only read one other book by Matthews, but so far, I've been impressed. I really like the pace Matthews sets in her books, with every chapter feeling deliberate and every scene carrying the plot forward in some way.

I also really like that Matthews makes her dialogue feel natural and is able to create chemistry between characters without inserting graphic sex or even obvious sexual attraction. It makes for a tone that is rather sweet and emotional, but still had a lot of depth.

Plot: The plot of this book follows Sophie Appersett, the eldest daughter of a nearly bankrupt baron, as she attempts to connect with Ned Sharpe, a wealthy business owner. Sophie is being pressured to marry Ned so that her family's finances can be alleviated, but after a few months of "proper" upper-class courting, Sophie and Ned haven't made a good connection. Sophie decides to try again, this time getting Ned to agree that the two would be direct and open with one another. They decide that the Appersett's Christmas party is the perfect time to connect.

What I liked about this plot was the conflict between family pressure and personal desire. Sophie seemed to have a lot on her shoulders, and struggled to try to find a solution that would both satisfy her parents and make her happy. I also liked that she and Ned became something of co-conspirators, working together to escape from the expectations and judgments put on them by society. It made for a narrative with both personal stakes and stakes that affected more than just the couple, and I was thoroughly engrossed.

I also really appreciated the frank discussions of class and the several twists and turns that put class at the center of the conflict. While no one was openly hostile, there was some tension that I think reflected the changing social climate of the era, and I appreciated that the conversation didn't boil down to "everyone is a snob."

The one criticism I have is that I was a little disappointed that Sophie's father didn't have some sort of reflective period and Sophie didn't seem to grapple with the big reveal that happens close to the end of the novella. Without spoiling anything, I will say that Sophie's father let's slip why he's so obsessed with upgrading his house, and it feels devastating and infuriating. I would have liked to see Sophie work out some complex feelings about it, since as it stands, she just kind of accepts it. But I realize this is a novella and there might not have been space.

Characters: Sophie, our heroine, is very sympathetic in that she has the burden of taking care of her family. Both her father and her sister like to live lavishly, so it's up to Sophie and her mother to prevent the family from complete financial ruin. Sophie is also likeable because even with this burden and all the wrongs done to her, she is still kind and loving towards her family, and I love to see a kind-hearted heroine.

Ned, our hero, is interesting because he has a gruff, reserved exterior yet feels very deeply. I liked that a lot of his arc involved trying to fit in with the upper classes but only so far as it gained him access to Sophie. He didn't feel like a stereotypical social climber, and I enjoyed watching him open up to Sophie over time.

Sophie's family is also interesting because they fall into two camps: those who want to live as if they had no financial worries, and those who reign them in. Sophie's father and sister are of the former camp; they want the finest food and clothing, and Sophie's father is obsessed with "modernizing" the family estate (which means installing gas lamps and, eventually, modern plumbing). All this puts pressure on Sophie to marry rich so the rest of them can live in luxury. Sophie's mother, by contrast, does her best to remake old dresses and figure out the household budget so that the family doesn't go bankrupt, though she can do very little to actually dissuade her husband from pursuing expensive home improvements. It made for a family dynamic that was at times heartbreaking as half the family wasn't appreciative of the other half, though I did get the sense that Sophie's sister absolutely adored her (thus making the relationship more complicated).

Romance: Ned and Sophie's romance was rather sweet and felt like a conspiracy of sorts. They start out awkward but quickly decide to be honest and open with one another, and watching their relationship grow was immensely satisfying. I liked the way they both became more open about their feelings and how their emotional intimacy grew over time. I also appreciated the frank discussions about marriage and the pair of them discovering that they truly did love one another, rather than marrying for convenience.

TL;DR: A Holiday by Gaslight is a sweet holiday novella that puts class at the heart of the conflict. With a romance that feels like two confidantes coming together against the social pressures of the Victorian world, this book is sure to delight both veteran readers and those new to the genre.

[ichigoromi]

𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐩 | 𝐒𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐬𝐚 𝐊𝐢𝐲𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐢 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧 | 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐮 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧

I'm up for another Sakusa angst... Yay?

I guess, I hope you guys enjoy reading?

I'm sorry if I made you cry...

All characters are aged up!

Sakusa Kiyoomi

It has been exactly 11 months, 11 days, and 11 hours since you two have decided to end the relationship.

The break was inevitable. You were studying in the States, and he is a professional athlete who has little to no time to visit you.

No matter how much you want to fix the relationship, it was beyond repair.

You started to count the days that you two have broken up for as a way to cope, but it was unhealthy for you, mentally.

Sure, your studies were going better after the breakup, but you ended up drinking till your wasted in your tiny apartment.

Seeing how happy he was on his social media platform makes you wonder if you were the one who caused the break-up after all.

Even though you two agree mutually to the breakup, it was harder on you.

You lost so much weight, and your complexion was too pale to be considered healthy.

Roll in the best friends; they practically filled your fridge and made sure you were eating your three meals.

After you gained back to a healthy weight, they took you out for a makeover trip and got you a closet makeover as well.

You got back into your school life and leaned on your friends for support, but how could you ever forget the good memories that you made with Sakusa as well.

Your friends helped you pack any momento or gifts that he gave you into a box and send it back to him since you two have broken up and as a proper closure for you two.

But there was just one thing that you can't bear to part with, his personal hoodie that he first gave you when you two started going out in high school.

Your friends had a hard time trying to persuade you to part with it but gave in to you.

Inside the box, you included a letter address to him, your one last letter to him.

It goes likes this...

Dear Mimi or Kiyoomi,

This would probably be the last time that I address you like that. I know we have decided to end our relationship, and it's all my fault even though you said it's no one's fault. I'm going to return these because these were the gifts that you gave me. You can burn or throw them away; it's all up to you. The break-up was rough, but thanks to it, I grew a lot from it. I know you recently got a new girlfriend, good for you, you look genuinely happy with her, guess I held on to you too long? I'm sorry for breaking the promise first. I'm sorry for breaking your heart; I'm sorry that I cannot be there for you. Thank you for the wonderful memories that you left me. I never stop loving you and will always be there for you.

With love,

Your first.

You wiped away the tears and signed off and place it on top of everything, and prepared to mail it.

For the first time after your break up, you felt some kind of relief.

After you mailed it out, you and your friends went for some good old Korean barbeque and tons of alcohol.

You were so drunk that your friends carried you home, and all of them stayed in your apartment, in case something happens to you.

You posted some pictures of you having a good time with your friends and knocked out from the huge amount of drinks you had.

He thought he would live his life as normal after the breakup, but he couldn't.

Everything just was not the same. The routine that he has built around you, he has to change it.

You were not in his life anymore.

Atsumu tried to cheer him up by setting him up with some of his friends, and sure they had good personalities, but they were just not you.

After months of trying to date, he finally met the one.

He was finally able to smile and be back to the normal him.

His team was relieved that he was not in his depressed state and living well.

Atsumu and Bokuto still keep in close contact with you, following you on their social media platforms.

When they thought he was not listening, he could listen to them calling you and face timing.

Based on Atsumu and Bokuto's reaction, he can tell that you are doing good.

He knows that your graduation was in a few weeks and you would continue to further your studies there.

Bokuto and Atsumu, along with some of your high school friends, were going to fly to the States to attend your graduation.

He wants to go to, but he has a new person in his life now.

A few days later, he received a box from your address.

He went to open the box in his dorm room, and it was the gifts and the letters you two exchanged since high school.

When he read the letter that you wrote him, he broke down.

You were his first love, the very first person that he made friends with, the very first person that made his heart skip, and the very one that made him the person that he is today.

It was bad. The feelings that he thought was once gone came back again.

He never stops loving you, and he will continue to love you as long as he can.

He needed some time away from dating and some time to heal.

The last gift he could give you was something that would last till you guys meet next time.

Graduation came faster than you expected, and finally, you graduate successfully after going through all those obstacles. Your family and friends from Japan are here to celebrate this joyous event with you.

You took pictures with everyone, chatted with a few of your fellow graduates, and managed to make some new connections.

"Oh my god, why is her campus so big? Did we made it in time?"

"Of course not! What did ya think?!"

Your two favourite people are here too.

"Tsumu! Bokkun!"

You waved them over, and they were carrying a bouquet of flowers and a bunch of gifts.

They threw their arms around you and pulls you into their embrace, and it was heartwarming and suffocating. Imagine getting bear-hugged by two professional volleyball players.

"L-let me go!" You managed to squeeze out a call for help, and they immediately let you go.

"This gift, open when you are alone."

It was a small bag, but you could not help but wonder who gave you that gift.

- - -

After getting lunch with your family and friends, you went back to your apartment alone to start packing up for your new journey.

You were going to move to Korea for your Master's program. Most of your close friends knew about this and hook you up with their close contacts in Korea so that you would have some form of support in a foreign country.

While packing, you remember the gift that Bokuto and Atsumu told you to open when you are alone.

You grab it, and it was a letter and a blue velvet ring box.

Immediately you recognised the handwriting. That neat and clean handwriting would belong to none other than Sakusa himself.

Congratulations on your graduation.

I have received your mail, and there's so much that I want to say. I apologise for not making it to your graduation, but those two idiots are there to represent me. After receiving that box from you and that letter, I immediately broke up with her. I realised that my feelings for her were not genuine, and I was just using her as a rebound, and I break things off because I don't want to hurt her further.

I'll wait for you. I know this may sound far-fetched, but will you marry me?

I don't expect any replies, but please accept the ring if you agree to marry me.

If you reject me, you can return the ring to Atsumu.

I'll be waiting,

Sakusa Kiyoomi

This man...even he is at the other part of the world, he still manages to make your heart skip. You open the box and inside one of the most dazzling rings you have laid your eyes on.

And you recognise it.

It was a Harry Winston.

You used to joke to him in high school that you want it to be a Harry Winston ring when he proposed.

Now, it's not a joke. You slid the ring onto your left hand, and it fits perfectly.

You dialled the number that you know it like it's the back of your hand.

"You idiot, do you still love me after all this time? What's with the proposal? It's s-so lame." You sniffled over the phone.

"Really? Does that mean you are not taking me back? In high school, you said that you were going to kick my ass if I break up with you. You wanted a proposal with a Harry Winston, right?" Hearing his voice, you broke down.

"I-I m-missed y-you so much! Why do you still have so much effect on me? You bad man!" You wailed into the phone and hear his deep chuckles.

"Oh my, you became more of a baby after we broke up. Do you want to see me now?"

"What? You mean facetime?"

"No, come to the park near your apartment building."

You grabbed your coat and rushed out of your building. There's no way he is here. No way. How could it be...

And he was there. With his arms wide open and a small smile on his handsome face.

"H-how? I-What? You idiot!" You threw yourself into his embrace, and he wraps his arms around you, and you sobbing in his chest.

"I flew in, of course. I got the timing right." He cups your face gently to make you look up to him. Then he saw the ring on your left hand and kisses you on the lips.

You shut your eyes and savours the kiss that was needed after being apart for so long.

"Sakusa Kiyoomi, you are one crazy man." You shook your head and kiss his lips again.

"Yeah, I'm crazy for you." He kisses you again for a long time.

I can't end it with a sad ending; I'm sorry to you guys if you wanted a sad ending. I'm crazy for soft Sakusa.

I love him.

I hope you guys enjoy reading this!

Thank you for reading!

Stay safe and take care!

With love,

Rosalie🍓

[shanastoryteller]

Happy Pride Shana! 🏳️‍🌈 I love all your fics - so dealers choice!

Liz is eleven the first time she goes to take out the trash and finds Michael Guerin digging through their dumpster.

He takes off running as soon as he sees her and she's too surprised to call out after him.

He glares at her in school the next day but she pretends like she doesn't notice. That night, she leaves a carton of still warm food on top of the dumpster and just hopes that he's coming back for it. If nothing else, he doesn't glare at her in class anymore.

This goes on for a week before her father catches on to what she's doing. She tells him the truth when he asks, and his face goes very adult and serious and he gently says to her that he'll handle taking out the trash from now on.

Two days later he's cleaning out the tiny room he uses for an office and moving a twin bed into there and the day after that Michael shows up to their dinner table with narrow distrustful eyes and a trashbag full of clothes.

They can't foster him legally, considering her parents, but as long as his on paper foster parents can continue to collect a check without any fuss they don't care where he is. So Michael stays.

Liz sits next to him at dinner and walks with him to the bus stop and teaches him how to brush his hair and his teeth the right way, just like her mama and papa taught her, because he does it but not right and he doesn't say anything to her but he brushes his teeth longer and uses a comb on his wet hair and lets their shoulders knock against one another while they make their way to the bus stop.

Mama doesn't seem to have much of an opinion about this boy in her house. Liz is more grateful about that than she is disappointed.

Rosa pretends not to like him for about three days, which is when Liz starts crying because she doesn't their homework and it makes her papa sad when she asks so she just doesn't ask anymore and Rosa hates school but she's patting her back trying to make everything okay when Michael sits next to her and slowly, haltingly explains all things that don't make sense to her until they do.

Rosa gives in after that, after Michael made her stop crying when she couldn't, and starts complaining about having two little siblings annoying her all the time. She ends up being so busy keeping up with their antics that she stops trying to spy on their mother whenever she leaves, which seems like a good thing.

"I'm probably older than you," Liz tells him, "so that makes you our little brother."

"Probably doesn't count," he protests, but he's smiling too.

Liz is the one to notice first, to figure it out, and by the time Michael gives in and confesses that he's an alien - a real one, not like their parents - she already knows. Hearing that Max and Isobel are too does come as more of a surprise.

Michael starts putting Ortecho as his last name on all his schoolwork and no one stops him. Liz and Michael become nearly as close as Max and Isobel, who make themselves a near permanent fixture in the diner once Liz knows the truth.

Liz starts teasing Michael about having a crush on her best friend Alex in high school. (Both Alex and Michael worry about being gay at different times, but Papa already has practice with that ever since Maria and Rosa started dating). He shoots right back about Max having a crush on her, which is a suitably distracting thought that she forgets to annoy him for the next several months and finds out they're dating when she walks into her brother's room to find him sucking face with Alex, which she really didn't need to see.

Kyle is a jerk for about a year, so she dumps him and starts dating Max. Then he and Alex become friends again and he's way less of jerk and she has several small crises about it up until she notices Kyle and Max are giving each other the kind of looks that Michael and Alex used to and she solves her problem but just deciding that she and Max should date Kyle. Several people tell her that it'll never work, but she graduates with two boyfriends who are dating each other and her, which is very fun for her because she loves proving other people wrong.

Rosa splits her time working between the diner and the Pony with Maria and Mimi. She and her brother and all their friends commit to going to college in at least the same tri-state area, and all of them drift back to Roswell slowly. She and Kyle get jobs at the same hospital while Max works on his novel and jokes about being a kept man, even though he was the one working the most to pay their bills while Kyle was in medical school and Liz was in graduate school.

Alex and Michael get engaged, surprising no one, while Michael pursues his career in agricultural science. Alex starts discovering some worrying things about his father, which makes him sign up for the air force to dig deeper against everyone's protests. Isobel and Gregory start dating, surprising no one, although she and Michael start making a lot of jokes about Manes men that make Alex and Gregory turn interesting shades of red.

Maria and Rosa buy the Pony and then take a trip to Vegas where they drunkenly elope all in the same weekend. Papa is pulled between furious and elated and gives Alex and Michael a twenty minute long lecture about having a proper wedding.

Alex find out about Caufield and works with Gregory and everyone to free all the aliens and shut the project down. Alex manages to do that while getting his father court martialed for running an illegal operation and not releasing the aliens to live amongst society as the Caufield operation was ordered to do fifty years ago. Several very important people are quietly court martialed when this comes to light.

They meet Nora who tells them all the truth of their home planet and why the left. She and several other aliens go to the dessert and take care of Jones and a man called Noah, who she says never should have been on the ship in the first place.

Liz successfully sponsors her father so he attends Alex and Michael's wedding as an American citizen. He and Nora sit side by side and watch their son get married to the man he loves.

[viscountessevie]

in response to your last anon: Sanji can you fight

The post about the anon in question, follow the Jake Tag to see what's up.

Okay so you know how in the last response I said that he ended up being funny after complimenting me - well here we go:

I showed him these asks back to back once he was up and he seemed very pleased to be "going down as a treat in the Bridgerton community” and I was also sharing the asks with a couple of my friends cos I just found this whole thing SO funny. One of them being Mimi @gisellecygnets and this was our hilarious convo (posted with permission!): 

Anyways the lines "jake about to become this corner of the fandom’s white boy of the month" and "you can't escape fate" had me cackling and told the boy about it.

Mans went from telling me I had pretty hair to immediately going: "Cannot wait to be white boy of the month. All I ever wanted."

There you have it, folks Jake has accepted his role as this fandom corner's white boy of the month. Oh but there's more. I made a meme about the asks coming in about him.

You make one (1) post about how your friend is funny and suddenly my followers and anons are like:

OUR (not) boyfriend 😂😂

At the meme, boy had the audacity to go: "I wouldn’t mind having like 10-15 girlfriends. All I ever wanted."

Me being like Bro??? Right in front of my salad but boy doesn't need to know about that (instead I'm telling my sizeable ground of followers) and without missing a beat I shoot back: I mean I'm not your gf anyways lmao. You can have them ahahaha

[Lmao sorry I fell asleep as I was writing this - anyways it's been a couple hours since my clapback. I think the boy is still out with the lads but yeah mans threw an absolute grenade of a line and then YEETED]

So yes, dearest Jakey is taking applications for his 10 to 15 girlfriends and I'm counting every single anon about him as application now. Current applicants are Mimi "Jake is an icon" Gisellecygnets, Miss "His voice is so smooth!" Eefke @eefke along with the Nice Voice anon and now you Fighting Anon!! Girlfriend #4 congrats 😂. There are two more asks so I'll congratulate them on their own posts itself lmao.

Finally, to answer your original qn anon: I honestly never thought I'd be on this end of the meme and I'M CACKLING SHSKJSJS but um does a white belt in taekwondo from 16 years ago count?? 😂😂 Listen I'm always down for a fight but this is not my fight lol!

[I really hope it came across to yall but we're just taking the piss out of each other this is literally our banter! Also not that it's anyone's business but Jake and I are just friends who like each other lmao but yeah it's not like we're married. And he's having soooo much fun with this 🤡 clown shit so everything being shared is all good and fine]

[themusicplayedherlife]

To Love is the Greatest Gift

1. The Return

pairing: obi wan kenobi x f!reader (past!din djarn x f!reader) characters: f!reader, anakin amidala-skywalker, padmé amidala-skywalker, mentiones of din djarin, obi wan kenobi, others word count: 2.6k+ warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of rent: the musical (death, second chances) uh... I think that’s it? summary: au!it’s never been the right timing for you and obi wan kenobi; maybe this time will be different. a/n: i started working on this story so long ago it’s ridiculous, but I suddenly had a surge of motivation to continue this story after some tragic family news. this was also very much inspired by @martlands and their amazing obi wan stories, made me want to write my own and here it is

all || next

“You broke up?”

One would think that the immediate reaction to someone asking if you broke up with your significant other would be to cry or begin to ask them what could have possibly gone wrong. But that’s not the reaction you give. 

The reaction you give is just a shrug and a strong pop, as you spoon more gelato onto the little spoon his twins love collecting. “Yep.”

“After only three weeks of dating?” Anakin doesn’t know why he’s surprised, but he is. This is probably the shortest living relationship you’ve ever had. “Why?”

“Why not?” you answer easily, nonchalantly and you know it frustrates him. “It wasn’t working out, so we decided to call it quits.”

Not even a month ago, you had been genuinely excited about finally getting out there and meeting someone new, and even more excited when you were telling him all about this person you met while out with some old friends. You had said, word for word, “he might be the perfect contender!”

Where did all that excitement go?

You sigh, finally looking up at him and away from your white chocolate gelato that's just to die for. “Ani, it’s fine. It just didn’t work out. It happens.”

He grimaces. “What happened between you and Din—“

You bristle at the mention of your ex, narrowing your eyes and his widen in defense. You know what Anakin and Padmé think of him and it’s not entirely pleasant (particularly from Anakin’s part). It’s completely unfair. Din is lovely, sure a little socially awkward, but lovely nonetheless. “Has nothing to do with why Gar and I ended things.”

“But—“

“Nothing,” you reiterate with a bit more force and he sighs, lifting his hands in defeat while holding his own cup of gelato.

“Okay. Okay, I’m sorry.” And then, like a light switching, he turns playful. “Was it his name that turned you off—Gar?”

You resist the urge to groan and roll your eyes. “Oh maker, you are annoying!”

You huff as you make the trek back to the trolley that’ll take you both up to the observatory. The rest of your conversation is forgotten as he navigates it towards continuing to tease you and the latest exhibit you had helped set up.

The Coruscant Observatory is one of the most popular attractions in the city aside from the Exotic Animal Sanctuary (where most zoologist work to help rehabilitate wild animals before reintroducing them back into the wild, only housing the ones that have been assessed to not be able to function in the wild on their own—which are unfortunately many).

Your place of work is known for its large, ground telescope; its monthly constellation exhibits; the multiple planetarium theater rooms that house lectures, activities, star projections, etc.; and its Astronomer Q&A program where visitors can ask astronomers questions and even get a tour of the space station.

However, most of your days are spent in your office, planning for the next exhibit or actually executing them with your team; meanwhile, Anakin spends them in tech, sometimes maintaining the telescope, other times helping with IT issues, but mostly making sure the theater rooms worked perfectly for their 4D immersion.

(You like to joke that out of the two of you, he has it easiest; sometimes he’ll run by your office to get to another part of the building while you’re doing something and you’ll yell out, “slacker” and he’ll respond with, “you just work too much”.)

“Are Padmé and the twins stopping by today?”

“Not today, maybe tomorrow,” he says as you both step out of the trolley along with a few tourists. “I think today they decided to stay for some school thing.”

“Shouldn’t you know what that school thing is?” you chide him out of jest.

He scowls, there’s hardly any heat in it and it makes you grin. “It’s a music performance that the CN Theater is putting on.”

“Ah, and we all know how much musicals bores you.”

“I just don’t understand them,” he murmurs defensively as you climb the few steps leading to the entrance. The two of you smiling and greeting Rex at his security post and bypassing the ticket gate with your IDs.

“You mean you don’t have any taste,” you tease.

“It’s weird! I mean, most of them are all about tragedies and betrayals. What happened to the good ol’ romance and happy endings?”

“Not all of them are tragedies, Casanova.”

The main rotunda lobby is full of people milling about, looking at maps or the foucault pendulum in the middle of the room. Low chatter fills the room, shoes clicking and clacking against the marble flooring.

“Name one.”

Spotting the trash can and recycle bin, Anakin holds his hand out for your disposable cup and spoon and throws them away in their proper bin.

“Rent.” There are probably better examples, but you had been listening to the original cast album the night before and have all the songs still stuck in your head.

“Don’t two characters die?”

“Angel and Mimi.” You nod. “But Mimi is brought back to life by Angel, and is given a second chance at life.”

“She may have been brought back to life, but that doesn’t take away from the fact she died.”

“I’m not arguing with you on that, I’m just saying the ending was hopeful—not necessarily a happy ending, but it left you thinking—maybe things can get better.”

“And that’s not what I’m looking for. I’m looking for—“

“What you and Padmé have?” you ask him as you both reach the door of your office.

He pauses, mouth opening and closing before finally rubbing the back of his head sheepishly and saying, “Yeah.”

You smile, genuine and happy for your childhood friend. Who would’ve thought that years ago when you introduced them, they’d be here years later—married and with twins. You and Anakin sure as hell didn’t. For most of your childhood, you both believed you’d live out your life on Tatooine, hang with the same friends you’ve known since your pre-kinder days and eventually get married to each other—much to the dismay of your parents—because of benefits or whatever, until your parents decided they wanted to send you off to a private school in one of the major cities, derailing your and Anakin’s plan (for the better, if you’re being honest).

“You’re still coming over for dinner, right?”

“Yeah,” you answer, unlocking your office door with your key. “I have a meeting that might go over the expected time, but I should be able to make it on time.”

“Just let us know,” he says, rapping his knuckles against the door frame. “But you better be there! We have some planning to do!”

You roll your eyes and wave him away, promising he and his family will definitely see you at five. With a hearty chuckle he salutes you and leaves the door slightly ajar, just like you usually do. It’s your “you can come in to ask me questions, but knock first, please” visual telling.

With a soft exhale, you drop yourself into your creaking office chair, eyes landing on the first picture on your right—a younger you, only 18, fresh out of your uniform smiling wildly with a large bouquet of flowers that you can still distinctly remember the smell of.

“I am in love!” Padmé exclaimed, squealing in absolute delight at the flowers put in your hand.

Blue eyes crinkled with amusement, staring down at you. “Are you?” His voice was low, teasing and almost smug. He had obviously heard the gasp that escaped your lips when he presented you the colorful bouquet created with your favorite flowers that his father grew in their little garden.

“Irrevocably,” you answered, not able to hide your smile as you gently held it against your chest and smiled up at him. “They’re beautiful, Obi. Thank you.”

Obi Wan’s arm is wrapped around your shoulder, caught in the action of a booming laughter. He was always laughing in pictures. There isn’t a single picture you have of him that he isn't smiling.

Your finger gently trails over his smiling face. Maker, you miss him.

Is he still traveling? Or has he finally settled down again? Will he show up and spring some unexpected news on you again? Stars, you hope not. Shit didn’t go as planned last time and it probably wouldn’t again.

Your hand falls limply and you swivel in your seat, looking out the large glass window overlooking the majority of the city and sigh softly—an exhale of wary hope and sadness.

A bird soars by your window, it’s wings flapping effortlessly, diving before flying higher and away.

He’s not coming back. You know this. Coruscant just isn’t the same anymore. Not when he feels this city has taken everything from him.

One more year visiting Gui Gon without him.

The meeting runs longer than it usually would, just like you had expected. Checking the time, you let out a curse and quickly throw your belongings into your car.

Without wasting time, as soon as you switch on your engine, you place your phone on the dock and say, “Hey C-3PO, call Padmé.”

“Calling Padmé,” your phone’s AI answers through the speakers of your car.

“Are you outside?” Is how she greets you. There are loud noises in the background, children squabbling about something or another, and Anakin’s weary voice trying to rally them. 

You snort, pulling out of the undergroundparking lot. “Not yet, barely got out of my meeting and am on my way.”

“Please hurry, the twins really want to see you and are dying from hunger,” she says, amusement in her voice and not at all trying to hurry you. “They might start eating Anakin soon.”

“Hey, don’t bite that!” He yells from a distance.

“Hurry, please!” you hear over the phone—Luke. “I miss you,” he says, closer now. Which you immediately reply saying you miss him too, almost cutting off the next voice.

“And I’m hungry!” Leia’s voice follows his, practically yelling into the phone.

You laugh fondly, just imagining the childish glee on their faces at your scandalized gasps and your exaggerated “me too” answers.

“Leia, no yelling,” Padmé scolds her, gentle and kind. “Softer, please.”

“Sorry,” she says. “I’m hungry,” she repeats, softer, almost a whisper.

“Give me twenty minutes and I’ll be there,” you promise. “If not, you have my permission to start eating your dad.”

Leia and Luke break into a fit of laughter, yelling something away from the phone to Anakin, who once again lets out a loud, “Hey!”

Padmé chuckles, moving away from the voices of the children tackling their father and their play fighting. “Take your time, we’re not in any hurry to start eating. The kids had a hearty lunch and a snack after school.”

“What about you and Anakin?”

“We’re fine, don’t worry. Just get here safely and we’ll see you soon.”

You end the call with one last reassurance from her and let out a loud sigh when your car comes to a stop behind a long line of glaring red lights—traffic. You hate traffic.

You might be surrounded by blinding lights and different models of vehicles, but it leaves you alone with your thoughts, the low hum of your engine and music from your stereo drowned out by the chattering in your head. 

It’s never just one thing that you think about. It can go from one thing to another, to all of them trying to climb over eachother and be the most present: your friends; your family; the dog next door; Din and Baby; cinnamon apple cookies; the beach house in Naboo; sneaking out of the prep dormitories at 2am with Padmé keeping an eye out and Obi Wan holding his arms out for you; rose gardens and peach tea; freckles on blushing skin; drunken singing in a small living room; 21st birthdays crying in a bathroom stall; that stupid movie quote about choosing life; death; but sometimes (most occurring) it’s Obi Wan that weaves into every thought.

He’s a constant plague in your mind, has been since the first time he left Coruscant in search of himself. 

Sometimes they’re pleasant thoughts, memories kept in a nostalgic trunk that you occasionally like to sift through. Other times, they’re not so pleasant; those are the ones you constantly struggle with, try to push into the recesses of your mind and keep them under lock and key. But for some stupid, strange reason, your mind only ever remembers the bad, even when there are better things to dwell on.

“I just—I just don’t understand why you have to leave—Obi. Obi!” you practically yelled, watching him move around his room, grabbing and throwing things he pulled out into his duffel bag. “Listen to me!” 

He didn’t stop, not until you reached for his duffel bag and plucked it out from his hands. He stared at you, his duffel bag carelessly thrown to the floor with his clothes spilling out. 

Your breathing was labored, a sick feeling swimming in your stomach, words stuck in your throat now that he wasn’t hiding his beautiful blue eyes from you—his devastatingly heartbroken eyes. “I have to,” he finally said, breaking the silence. “I need to leave. This house—this city, it's suffocating me. I can’t—I can’t stay here anymore.”

“Obi… Obi, please.” You can’t leave me. You can’t! Please! Please, Obi.

“I need to do this for me, darling. I’m sorry.”

You should’ve fought harder that night, should’ve convinced him to stay, but instead you helped him pack again with tears obstructing your view and sobs escaping your lips. Maybe if you had, you wouldn’t have lost him.

No, your breath stutters as you lean back into your car seat, there was nothing you could’ve done. Either times. He had made up his mind long before that night.

A car honks their horn to your left and you jump, eyes focusing once more on the red lights of the car in front of you. You wipe at your face harshly and straighten your spine. 

That was years ago, little one. Shake it off. 

Sighing softly, you look up at the street name and make a turn onto the Skywalker residence street, your shoulders relaxing when their two story home comes into view.  

Shake it off.

Parking isn't easy to find in their neighborhood, not when it’s so close to the observatory and some of the most visited parks in the area, but you manage to find one just two cars away from their house. 

Gathering your things, you lock the door behind you and quickly make your way down the sidewalk, phone in your hand and typing out a message that you’re here.

It’s while you’re hitting send that you don’t notice the body in front of you, staring up at the house with an almost wary expression on his face, or how his eyes widen when they see you. It’s not until you collide into his body, soft with a fleece cardigan, that you notice him. Embarrassment begins to boil in your blood as you quickly apologize to him, berating yourself for not being more aware of your surroundings.

“Kriff, I’m so sorry—“ you start, but the apology catches in your throat when you look up.

“Hello, there.” Blue eyes, so soft and kind, like the ones you once used to dream of stare back at you—so unlike the pair of eyes you saw years ago. “It’s been a long time, darling.”

You can’t shake him off.

next

[rizlowwritessortof]

Riz’s Master List

Just updated my master list (finally) - haven’t added anything new for a few months, unfortunately, but I’m working on it! Links below the cut. HUGE THANKS to @firefly-graphics for the dividers, you are a GIFT, my friend! 

Never Look Back

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 21 chapters

Bethany Rae Cooper didn’t realize when she met the Winchesters in her family’s bar and grill that her life would never be the same. But she’s always believed that everything happens for a reason, even if it’s not exactly what you were expecting…

The Shadow’s Edge

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 17 chapters

Sequel to Never Look Back. When the demon Dameon was killed, Dean and Beth thought their son was safe from the prophecy. But when Cas brings them news of the new battle for Hell, they realize that their war has just begun.

The Fine Line

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 34 chapters

An unexpected tragedy sends Devon down the dark path of hate and vengeance, but she will learn that things are not always what they seem…

Scars

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 10 chapters

Sequel to The Fine Line. Dean and Devon’s relationship has always been stormy - but can they work through the scars of their past to find each other again?

Stars In the Darkness

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 8 chapters

A crushing loss brings Dean and Sam to Sioux Falls, and ghosts from the past and present bring them across the path of Tiara, a girl they haven’t seen since childhood.

Dreaming

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 5 chapters

Dean Winchester has always been a bit of a thorn in Kelsey’s side - a very attractive thorn, but still… A visit at her uncle Bobby’s reunites her with the boys, and she begins having vivid dreams - about Dean. Is it just her subconscious trying to tell her something? Or is there more to it than that?

My Unimportant Little Life

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 11 chapters

Season 5 timeline. Dean gets yanked from 2009 to 2014, so he can see the ‘consequences’ of saying no to Michael. At Camp Chitaqua he meets Reggie, and is surprised to find that she comes from 2009 as well…

Back In the Saddle

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 10 chapters

Dean and Sam are back in the old west again - in answer to a cry for help from Samuel Colt. And if Dean just happens to get tangled up with the spirited redhead that owns the saloon… what’s the harm, right?

Sweet Escape

Dean/Female Reader, 2 parts

What happens when a friend jokingly does a spell at your birthday party to bring your cardboard standup of Dean Winchester to life? This one’s dedicated to my friend, Liz, who gave me the idea. If only…

Sweet Escape Part 1

Sweet Escape Part 2

Shut Up and Drive

Dean/Female Reader, 2 parts

Reader teases Dean while he’s driving, so - he gets even

Part 1 - Keep Your Eyes on the Road

Part 2 - Or We Could Park - Parking Is Good Too

Take the Long Way Home

Dean Winchester/Female OC, 8 chapters

A look at Dean and Rusty’s relationship, in the present and through their memories. Flashbacks/memories are in italics.

Black Velvet

Demon!Dean/Female Reader, Dean/Female Reader, 9 chapters

You and Sam are broken after Dean’s death. Nobody expected him to come back with black eyes…

Fade to Black

Dean/Female Reader, 11 chapters

Sequel to Black Velvet. Dean is no longer a demon, but he’s still cursed with the Mark of Cain, and the lure of that darkness grows stronger as time goes on.

Dean and Toby Series

Part 1 - The Meet-Cute (Actually Rescue but Whatever)

Part 2 - The Emergency Bed-Share/Move In With Us Combo

Part 3 - The Hit and Then Run Like Your Ass Is On Fire

Part 4 - The FINALLY Admit Your True Feelings and Get Busy

GENERIC

I’m Good

This is the story that was published in the Seasons - Supernatural Short Story Anthology in 2017. Bobby sharing some memories.

Combo Shot

Dean/Female Reader

June 2015 GIEPP (Girl In Every Port Project) entry. Prompt: Pool/Poker hustler competitive chick. Pretty much pure smut.

A Hunter Walks Into a Bar

Dean/Female OC

Prowling hunter, sassy bartender

Shelter

Dean/Female Reader

Dean providing comfort

That’s How It Should Be

Sheriff!Dean/Female Reader

They have to make a fast escape, but Dean won’t let being on horseback stand in the way of showing a lady a good time

The Storm

Dean/Female Reader

You’re terrified of storms, and Dean is concerned, feelings get shared

Pest Control

Dean/Female Reader

You think you’ve got mice. The exterminator that shows up is Dean Winchester. He’ll just let you believe that, and take care of the problem. And you.

Happy Birthday, Baby

Dean/Female OC (KK)

Fluffy, smutty birthday fic written for a friend

Gunpowder and Dean

Dean/Female Reader

You’re pissed off at Dean, taking it out on the firing range, but he just won’t leave you alone…

Juicy and Delicious

Dean/Female Reader

My entry for Dean’s Flavor of the Month fic challenge - Peach Pie. You bake some peach pies for Dean, and he’s very grateful…

Lost In You

Dean/Female Reader

A casual flirtation leads to a violent encounter, and Dean’s reaction is a little more than you expected. Warning for brief description of attempted (unsuccessful) assault. Protective Dean.

What You Need

Dean/Female Reader

You’re watching as Sam and Dean prepare to interrogate a demon. Dean knows you’re watching him, and he knows exactly the kind of effect it’s having on you…

Santa Claus Is Coming Tonight

Dean/Female Reader

Dean’s really getting into the Christmas spirit…

I Need You

Dean/Female Reader

You screwed up, Sam got hurt, Dean’s pissed and you aren’t handling it very well.

Snow Day

Dean/Female Reader

You and Dean, stuck in a motel room in a blizzard

Frisk Me

Dean/Female Cop Reader

You’re a cop, in hot pursuit of a murderer, and guess who crosses your path?

Comfort

Dean/Female Reader

Dean had a rough hunt, and he’s beating himself up as usual. You take his mind off things for a little while…

When I Think About You

Dean/Female Reader

It was a wild hunt, and you’re both a little high-strung. Surely there’s some way to blow off some steam…

One Finger

Dean/Female Reader

Dean Winchester has never been one to back down from a challenge

What Makes You Feel Alive

Endverse!Dean/Female Reader

The world is bleak, the struggle endless after Croatoan. You and Dean do what you have to do to keep going.

Sweet Misery

Dean/Unnamed Female OC

My entry for Bev’s Song Challenge - song prompt was Cryin’ by Aerosmith, lyrics at the beginning

Winchesters Don’t Giggle

Dean/Female Reader

A friend and I were having this discussion about giving Dean a back rub, and whether he might be ticklish…

Confession

Dean (Priest!Dean)/Female Reader

When Dean returns from some undercover work, you discover a fantasy you never realized you had

The Bait

Dean/Female Reader

This was written for @jessica-bones-winchester’s (now on her 100th url as @cavillanche - Love you, Jess!) Dating Dean Writing Challenge. The prompt was ‘dressing up as an anime character for his birthday.’ And I have to admit, I really enjoyed this one… Reader dresses as Sailor Mars (from Sailor Moon) for Dean’s birthday.

Hey, Man - Nice Shot

Dean/Female Reader

This is for @jessica-bones-winchester’s ( @cavillanche ) Dating Dean Writing Challenge. The prompt was ‘competitiveness in the shooting range (loser cleans the kitchen for a week) No smut.

Take the Pain Away

Dean/Female Reader

This was written for @jessica-bones-winchester’s ( @cavillanche ) Dating Dean Writing Challenge. Prompt was ‘him taking care of you when you’re sick.’ Reader falls victim to a migraine, and Dean helps her through it. No smut.

Lose Yourself

Dean/Female Reader

Smut, pure and simple… Just imagine having Dean tied up, at your mercy while you worship those perky nipples…

The Contest

Dean/Female Reader

Dean loves to give you a hard time, and one night he pushes things a little too far… Flashback in italics. All’s well that ends well.

Slow Ride

Dean (Bullriding!Dean) /Reader

Yeah, after 12x11, y'all should have known this was coming - they don’t call me Cowgirl for nothing… Written (coincidentally - timing is everything!) for the Smut Apocalypse (Smut Appreciation Day) on Tumblr.

The Photo Booth

Dean/Unnamed Female OC - Dean’s POV

This was written for @winchestersandwordprocessors SPN Valentine’s Fic Challenge. Prompt was Semi-public/Risk of getting caught.

Make You Mine

Dean/Female Reader

Dean’s jealousy gets the best of him, which is not a bad thing…

Take a Chance

Dean/Unnamed Female OC - Dean’s POV

In 7x04, Dean gives himself a little pep talk before his planned hook-up with the bartender. That scene is what inspired me. This one is more important than the usual one-nighters, and it’s making him a little nervous…

If We Don’t Make It

Dean/Female OC

This fic was written for @whispersandwhiskerburn Angel’s 2K Follower Celebration. My song prompt was “Broken” by Lifehouse, and the dialogue prompt was “If we don’t make it out of this, I need you to know…” No smut.

My Deliverer

Dean/Female Spirit - Her POV

Dean is hunting a vengeful spirit. But another spirit is in this place, and she is drawn to him…

Friendly Advice

Dean/Female Reader - Dean POV, Reader POV

This was written for @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog Mimi’s RomCom Fluff Challenge. The fluff got a little smudged into smutty fun… oops! Two POV’s, Dean’s thoughts are in italics and Reader’s are in regular font.

Old Times

Dean/Female OC

Sequel a few years down the road from A Hunter Walks Into a Bar. Tiara goes back to the bar for a visit, and who should show up the next night but Dean Winchester… Flashback in italics.

You Can Leave Your Hat On

Dean/Female Reader (nicknamed Taz)

Inspired by the sexy AF Cowboy!Dean we were treated to in 13x06 Tombstone. Helped along by Joe Cocker’s rendition of “You Can Leave Your Hat On.“

Wish Her the Best

Dean/Female OC - Dean’s POV

This is an angsty li'l fic inspired by Thomas Rhett’s ‘Marry Me,’ tore at my heart until I finally wrote it. No smut.

A Matter of… Time?

Dean/Female Reader

This is the crackiest piece of work I’ve ever written - for @percywinchester27 Ana’s PJO Quotes Challenge. Prompt was “Don’t you ever feel that way? Like you could do a better job if you ran the world?” - “Umm - no. Me running the world would be kind of a nightmare.”

Demon Seed

Demon!Dean/Female Reader

Demon!Dean stops in for a drink and decides he wants you. He’s very persuasive. Written for @evansrogerskitten’s Hottest Dean Challenge.

Not Wasted Now

Dean/Female Reader

When you all decide to get drunk in the aftermath of a bad hunt, lines get a little blurred. Or crossed. Or fucking erased. Fluffy, smutty, comforting, sweet and sexy Dean.

Bad Guy

Demon!Dean/Female Reader

This was written for @eyes-of-a-disney-princess Rapunzel’s Tangled Up With Supernatural Challenge. My Tangled quote was “You want me to be the bad guy? Fine, now I’m the bad guy.”

Shiny

Trucker!Dean/Female OC

Trucker!Dean AU. Breaker, breaker, got your ears on? 67 Midnight Rider, put that hammer down…

Some Kind of Hero

Dean/Female OC

Written for Tiff’s WTF Challenge. Dean’s just filling up Baby, minding his own business, when he hears an argument and gets involved. Protective Dean, no smut, left that to your imagination.

Crave

Dean/Female Reader

So, have some ‘Riz is craving some sexy Dean action with a big ol’ side of schmoopy fluff’ stuff. Because I was, and I’m sharing with you - the smut and all the sickenly sweet cuddly that I just need sometimes. If y'all are in the mood for that kind of thing.

Perchance to Dream

Dean/Female OC

Using African dream root on a case leads to an awkward situation, and Karlie can’t handle the tension between her and Dean any longer

Ruined

Dean/Female Reader

Dean comes home from a hunt, and he’s had something on his mind…

Going Home

Dean/Female Reader

Written for @crispychrissy’s Gif It To Me Challenge. Overhearing only part of a conversation sends her running, but jumping to conclusions without the whole story isn’t the best decision. No smut.

Not the Smartest Thing

Dean/Female Reader - Reader POV

Only Dean Fucking Winchester could turn taking a swig of beer into pornography. Cocky bastard. But two can play at that game.

Suzy Q

Dean/Female OC - OC POV

Written for @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan’s Multi-fandom Follower Celebration Challenge. Prompt - “I think I’m having a feeling. How do I make it stop?”

Invisible Touch

Dean/Unnamed Female OC

Rowena teaches Dean something new, and he gets inspired. I have no idea where this came from, but here it is…

Maybe I’m Amazed

Dean/Unnamed Female OC

An accident leaves her unconscious and fighting for her life in the hospital, drifting in and out of awareness and memories as Dean refuses to leave her side. Written for @rockhoochie’s 1K Love Supernatural Style Writing Challenge.

Reunion

Dean/Female OC

Passing through town, Dean runs into an old high school classmate. Fluffy and smutty, no angst here!

Playing With Fire

MOC!Dean/Unnamed Female OC

Late Season 10 MOC!Dean smut fic that just wouldn’t leave me alone…

Uninvited

Michael!Dean/Dean/Unnamed Female OC

Michael gives Dean a choice, because sometimes Michael likes to watch…This one is darker than my normal, PLEASE heed the warnings.

What Happens At the Roadhouse…

Early-Season Dean/Female OC

Bailey’s just looking for a couple days post-hunt R&R at Harvelle’s - and then he shows up. Cocky bastard.

Unleashed

Post-Purgatory Dean/Female OC

She’s still struggling to cope a year after Dean disappeared in the explosion that killed Dick Roman.

The Pool House

Dean/Unnamed female OC

Inspired by a dream - one I will never forget!

The Break-In

Dean/Tara (female OC)

One night I started thinking about what it would be like using mics and earbuds and having Dean’s voice RIGHT IN YOUR EAR. And then this fic happened. Hope you enjoy!

Tired of Missing You

Dean/Journey (female OC)

This is one of those times when my story yanked the wheel out of my hands and I just went along for the ride. So if you’re in the mood for a fluffy, angsty cookie with a smutty, creamy middle - here ya go!

Compelled

Dean/Brandi (female OC)

Have you ever had a really bad day at work? I’ve never had a day quite as bad as Brandi’s - but damn, I’d love to use this method to relieve the stress…

The Devil Made Me Do It

Demon!Dean/Shea (Female OC)

Shea is in a reckless mood. Demon!Dean is happy to help her indulge that mood.

Driving Miss Baby

Dean/Reader

Dean decides you need a driving lesson in Baby.

Just a Little Story About Lou and Sam

Sam/Female OC

Lou and Sam walk into a bar… written for a friend who’s a Sammy girl

Doctor-Patient Relations

Sam/Female OC

One-shot inspired by The Born-Again Identity - sick Sammy and Dr. Nicole. Written for another Sammy-girl friend

Head vs. Heart

No title

Fourth of July

Working Saturday Isn’t So Bad

11x17 Drabble

Some Nights He Dreams

Most of the Time

The Name Game

God Bless America

Stress Relief

Dean Hurt/Comfort Drabble

@mrs-squirrel-chester ‘s Album Fanfic Writing Challenge Drabbles

    Dangerous

    For My Brother

    In Chains

    Kiss and Tell

    The End of Me

    Choices

    Hero

    Pure

    In the End

[mimisempai]

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you 2/3

Summary:

Loki would like to express his feelings to Mobius but doesn’t know how to do it, he finds a sympathetic ear in Miss Minutes, without knowing that Mobius is suffering from the same problem…

Chapitre 1/3 - Chapter 2/3 - Chapitre 3/3

A little story, of love, of friendship, of two idiots in love…

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32351812

3804 words - Rating G

"Good job Loki!" Mobius smiled at Loki before continuing, "I'm really going to believe you're trying to steal my job," and then he headed for his office.

On the way, he thought about the weeks that had passed since they had taken over the TVA and completely restructured it. Loki had settled in incredibly well and was completely invested in his job as a TVA agent. Mobius wanted to tell him more often how proud he was of him, but he didn't want to sound condescending.

What amazed him even more was how well they had both fitted in with each other. For two beings as different as they were, the life together was going pretty well.

Mobius found it quite amusing, even touching, every time Loki was confronted with ordinary things, such as doing the dishes or putting away the laundry. Loki, god of mischief, adapting to a domestic life, what an incredible concept! Moreover, although Loki was now allowed to use magic without restriction, he preferred to do without.

When Mobius decided to use Loki to catch Sylvie a few months ago, he never thought they would get that far, and yet here they were. Loki had managed to get into his heart, without even having to use one of his tricks. But what Mobius never expected was that his affection would be returned.

Loki seemed to be very fond of him, but Mobius always feared the day when he would realize that he could do better, much better. That's why Mobius hadn't told him. Loki deserved to be free, and Mobius didn't want to be the ball and chain that held him back.

Sitting at his desk, he let out a sigh and shook his head as if to chase away his gloomy thoughts.

"What a sigh! It looks like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders!"

"Sylvie!" The young woman was leaning in the doorway.

"Tired of married life already?" asked Sylvie impishly.  She stepped forward and sat down on one of the armchairs opposite Mobius.

This had been the second surprise, the friendship he had formed with the one who had been his nemesis for years, when he had been a pawn on Ravonna's chessboard.  Loki had told him that there was nothing surprising about it, because not only did Mobius' caring nature make him capable of forming bonds with anyone, but since Sylvie was theoretically another Loki, it was only natural that some of their common traits would have allowed Mobius and the young woman to form this bond.

"Tired of married life? It would be quite the opposite."

"That's perfect then!"

"It'll only be harder when he leaves." muttered Mobius softly.

"Huh?"

"Don't play dumb, you heard me just fine."

Sylvie leaned forward and replied genuinely surprised, "Oh I heard you very well, but I'd like to know what makes you think Loki is going to leave?"

"Everything! Look at me and look at him! What do I have that would hold someone like Loki back? I'm just a plain person, nothing extraordinary. "

Sylvie pretended to tear her hair out, "No, but really, you are the dumbest couple of idiots in the universe! Loki doesn't care about any of this, do you realize that the day you first told Loki that you didn't see him as a villain, you tied him to you for life?!"

Mobius protested, "That's gratitude, not am-"

"Shut up you idiot! You know what Loki once told me? That the day you asked him to help you catch me, he was ready to follow you, and you know why? Because it was the first time he had the possibility of a relationship not based on lies. You knew everything about him and you didn't lie to him about what you wanted. For Loki, that's extremely precious. You didn't see him after you were pruned, I did. He was devastated, Mobius! Devastated! I really thought I couldn't reach him. You don't feel that kind of emotion for someone you want to leave!"

Mobius protested again, more weakly, "but that was different, the context was different, he didn't have enough perspective to assess the situation objectively. Now that he has time to think, he'll quickly realize that he could have someone better."

Sylvie interrupted him again, "You're just a moron. You're not going to be like everyone else before you, deciding what's best for him, are you? You freed him from his destiny, so let him make his own choices!"

Mobius muttered, "But what if that choice isn't me?"

"I wonder why I'm wasting my time, it's not even me you should be talking to about this!"

She stood up abruptly, "Come on, come with me! And no discussion!"

"But-"

"No discussion I said!"

He surrendered and followed her. Seeing that they were coming near Loki's office, he stopped and said, "No Sylvie!"

"Shut up and follow me!"

He reluctantly followed her, not being at all ready for this kind of conversation. They arrived at the half-open door, she turned and motioned for him to be quiet. Loki's voice reached his ears.

"But it's true! I swear! It makes me want to take off those jeans every time!"

"Lokiiii! That's enough!" Miss Minutes gave him a little kick and Loki laughed out loud.

Mobius behind Sylvie could not see them well, but he heard perfectly what Miss Minutes said, "Loki, tell Mobius, tell him everything you just told me, I don't know any person in the world who wouldn't like to hear everything you just told me."

His lover's voice sounded sad as he said, "But what do I have to offer him? I am not a good person for him. And I'm still waiting for the day when he can't stand my kind anymore and tells me I have to leave."

"A couple of idiots, that's what I'm saying." said Sylvie loudly before Mobius could stop her.

Loki shouted, "Sylvie?!" then turned around and shocked, shouted again, "Mobius?"

Sylvie opened the door fully, pushed Mobius into the office and with her hands on her hips said curtly, "I've done my part of the job, come on Mimi, we'll let those two idiots talk.Two true kings of communication."

"I'm coming." The little clock jumped toward her.

Sylvie closed the door saying, "Lock up behind you guys, wouldn't want anyone to stumble upon you in a compromising situation!"

"Sylvie!"

Both she and Miss Minutes laughed as they heard the outraged shouting of the two men behind the door followed by the unmistakable sound of a lock being closed.

[razberryyum]

So you’re done with The Untamed and want more, what now?

Reposting this since I’ve updated it with new info/links. Again, I entered the fandom via The Untamed so I’m by no means a MDZS expert, just tried my best gathering all the resources I can which I hope will help some new Untamed/MDZS fan out there. If you spot any errors, don’t yell at me, just let me know and I’ll correct it as best I can, especially for any future reposts.

READ THE NOVEL

Read the original web novel the show was based on: The Untamed (aka “CQL” or “Chen Qing Ling”) was adapted from the BL web novel, Mo Dao Zu Shi (aka ”MDZS” or Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation) by author Mo Xiang Tong Xiu (”MXTX”). Yes the novel came first, CQL is only an adaptation. In the novel, you get the uncensored romance of Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, where they are canonically married and living happily ever after. The novel goes full into R18 territory so please tread carefully.

All four volumes of the novel can be purchased from the original publishing site, JJWXC. The site’s in chinese but here’s a tutorial on how to navigate it and purchase the books:  JJWXC Tutorial Link.

There’s also the option of purchasing the physical copies from Yesasia which might be easier but it’s also more expensive since they’re the middle man: Yesasia MDZS Link

It would be wonderful if you can support MXTX-laoshi by actually buying the books, especially since the cover art is so beautiful and the extra chapter volumes come with a lot of awesome extra goodies, but of course there’s also the option of reading the fan translations graciously provided by the Exiled Rebels Scanlations team at their site:  

They translated all the novels including the bonus chapters in their own free time and are providing the fanslations for free so please give them some love for all their hard work.  

WATCH THE ANIME (aka “Donghua” in Chinese)

Watch the anime based on the novel: The donghua was released before The Untamed. Two seasons are already available (23 eps total) with a third season in production and a special chibi version of the donghua in production as well. The Eng-subbed donghua can be seen using the WeTV app or on Youtube:  YT MDZS Donghua Playlist

Grant it, the donghua is even more censored than The Untamed, but the donghua team still managed to sneak in some easter eggs (f.e. WangXian naked bathing scene in the cold springs from the novel...in The Untamed they were fully clothed) and more importantly, the animation is just gorgeous so it’s absolutely worth a watch despite the censorship. 

READ THE MANGA (aka “Manhua” in Chinese)

Read the manhua which is ongoing and is being officially translated by WeComics, available on their app for free. Search under the name “Mo Dao Zu Shi”.

Unfortunately, the official translations are more than 20 chaps behind the raws and there have been complaints about the quality of the translations in the past, but I believe they’re starting to improve so since they’re official, it’s always better to support the official source.

The raw untranslated manhua can be found on the Kuaikanmanhua app. Other than being in Chinese, some of the chapters (f.e. the most recent ones) are behind a paywall, but here’s a tutorial on how to purchase the chapters, provided by @chiharuzushi on Twitter:  Kuaikanmanhua Tutorial

The chapters are quite cheap...I purchase 1000 KK coins for 10 rmb ($0.14) and each chapter is only 68 KK coins so even if we end up with 500 chapters it’ll still be...er...quite cheap overall (don’t make me do the actual math). The most painful part is figuring out how to set up the Kuaikanmanhua account, but otherwise, if you can read Chinese or know enough of the story by now that you don’t really need to read the words, the manhua is definitely worth reading because it’s less censored than The Untamed and the donghua. 

LISTEN TO THE AUDIO DRAMA

Listen to the audio drama, which is at this point the most faithful and LEAST censored adaptation of the novel we will probably ever get! Wei Ying’s voice actor in The Untamed is the voice actor for his audio drama counterpart. (Yes, almost everyone in The Untamed is dubbed by a voice actor, EXCEPT for Nie Huaisang. Ji Li, the actor for NHS, was the only one who used his own voice. Lan Zhan in The Untamed shares the same voice actor as his character in the donghua). 

Each episode art of the audio drama is AMAZING. Google Translate works well on the site, you’d want to see the listeners’ comments cuz they’re just adorable and hilarious.

Official links on Maoer FM:

Season 1: Maoer FM S1 Link

Season 2: Maoer FM S2 Link

Season 3: Maoer FM S3 Link

The audio drama was supervised by MXTX-laoshi, the author of the novel, so a lot of love and care went into the production, and it shows. The audio drama is behind a paywall but I remember it’s relatively inexpensive. Here’s the tutorial on how to purchase the audio drama from the Maoer FM site:  Maoer FM Tutorial Link

Ngl, it was tough at first navigating all that, Google translate helped, but once I figured it out, it was all so worth it because in addition to the MDZS, the site houses a lot of other wonderful audio dramas. There are also MDZS fan songs on the site that are near professional quality and oh so good.

Suibian Subs have kindly translated the episodes and their translations are available here:  Suibian Subs MDZS Audio Drama

Show them some love too for translating the episodes, but please if you can, purchase the episodes so you can support the audio drama team which have done an amazing job.

There’s even a Japanese audio drama which the Chinese AD team helped spearhead, available on the MIMI FM app. Here’s a tutorial on how to purchase the eps (half of the first season is out): MIMI FM Tutorial

It’s in Japanese but just follow the pictures. I’m hoping that the Japanese audio drama will end up being the MOST uncensored version of MDZS since Japanese BL dramas are not afraid (and allowed) to go all the way to R18. XD

MORE THE UNTAMED CONTENT

Lastly, if you’re just thirsting for more Untamed content, there are two spin-off movies you can watch. The first one, The Living Dead, is kind of centered on Wen Ning and Sizhui post-CQL. 

The second one, Fatal Journey, is focused on the Nie brothers, Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang, with a cameo by Jin Guangyao. It takes place prior to Wei Ying’s return from the dead.

Of the two movies, I definitely recommend Fatal Journey more. Both movies are available on the iQiyi app, which offers a one month free trial for first members. Each month afterwards for VIP is $6.99.

You can also go on the WeTV app for even more Untamed extras: WeTV put out a special edition cut of the show which tightened up the story AND features the original ending that was intended before censorship forced the production team to come up with the more ambiguous one we saw in its original run. It was a simple matter of rearranging certain scenes and getting rid of the separation part, but imho it really made all the difference to the ending.

There’s a ton of behind-the-scene cuteness that you can watch and also concerts with the cast in Thailand and Nanjing. VIP subscription to the WeTV app is $5.99/month and the Nanjing concert is for rent for 3 months at about the same price.  

The show also put out two official soundtracks, one for the vocals and one for the score. Both are available on Amazon and iTunes. For Amazon though, you can search under “The Untamed” but they did this weird thing where the vocals one is listed as “The Untamed (Chinoiserie Music Album)” (wtf) while the score is just listed as “The Untamed (Original Soundtrack)”.

Finally, most of the male members of the cast took part in a fan meet and greet at the start of the show, before it became hugely popular. The entire meet and greet is available on youtube subbed: The Untamed Fan Meeting

That’s it for The Untamed and MDZS. If you end up liking the novel enough to want to read more by the same author, MXTX-laoshi has also written two other BL novels, The Scum Villain Self-Saving System (aka “SVSSS” or “Scum Villain”) and Heaven’s Official Blessing (aka “TGCF” after its Chinese title). Both have been fully translated by fans (but always try to buy the original if you have the means, as a way to support the author!): 

SVSSS Translation: BC Novels Link

TGCF Translation chaps 1 - 24:  Sakhyulations Link

TGCF Translation chaps 25 - End: Suika & Rynn Link

As with reading any BL novel (aka “danmei novel” for Chinese BL books), please heed the warnings and if it’s not your cup of tea, just exit out of the page and move on with your life. No big deal, right? 

Anyway, hope all this info dump helps someone! If you’re brand spanking new to this fandom, welcome, and I’m so jealous of you! Would love to relive stepping into the world of MDZS/MXTX/danmei novels all over again since I feel like I’m already running out of stuff to read and I’m beginning to panic a little. 

Happy watching/reading/listening!