#has shit coverage in my area

[moldwood]

the classic nokia is back but it is not the same... i really do hope more companies make flip phones again that arent just screen flip phones. i miss my qwerty sliding keyboard

[cbk1000]

So, my state has family medical leave, which you can take for yourself or for family members if you care for them. I still can't drive due to my body very slowly getting its shit back together after I apparently deprived it of iron for too long, so Mr. Jenn takes me to doctor's appointments (I was seeing a cardiologist for a little while who was trying me on a couple of different meds to try and help with my tachycardia while I heal from the iron deficiency) and also I do labs monthly to check my iron and make sure my levels are still good. My sister wanted to be able to help out sometimes and drive me so Mr. Jenn doesn't have to do it all the time and her manager advised her to apply for family medical leave because he's fine with her leaving early sometimes to take me to appointments (she works a ton of overtime anyway) and whatnot, but his supervisor, who just started fairly recently, is kind of a dick. So basically her manager wanted something from the state covering his ass so he can give one of his employees time off to care for a relative with health issues.

Ok; my cardiologist signs the paperwork for her, she files it with the state, gets approved, huzzah.

You get 90 days per calendar year, and it can be taken as entire days, weeks, whatever, or even just an hour or two to take a family member to a doctor's appointment. You just use it as needed until your hours run out, and your job is protected for the duration of the leave.

In the three months since she has filed for leave, she has taken four days off, three because Mr. Jenn had to go to some out of town training for work, and I could manage on my own, but I can't exert myself enough to take Seamus on longer walks for exercise/shitting purposes (I can pop out to the backyard with him for quick bathroom breaks, but can't stand or walk for very long because I start getting shortness of breath/chest pain, etc.). So she was basically just here to help me manage Seamus while Mr. Jenn was gone. Last Friday she took a day off for the same reason; he went to visit one of our friends in another state and she stayed with me through the weekend to help with caring for our horse-sized dog that I can't manage on my own right now.

Today she tells me HR pulled her into a meeting to tell her she was being taken off the machines she runs (she's a machinist) because of her paid family leave. I asked how the hell they're justifying that for taking four days off in three months, with plenty of notice (her last day off she notified them nearly two weeks in advance that she would be taking a family leave day). She asked them the same thing, and they told her it was because those machines need someone running them all the time. She pointed out that it would make more sense to just pay attention to when she's going to be gone and arrange for someone to cover for her during that time instead of just removing her completely from the area, and HR said what makes sense to her doesn't necessarily make sense for the business.

So I said, their argument is that anyone running those machines can't take any time off whatsoever? Ask for the written policy that states anyone working those machines can't take any PTO or leave because of their run requirements, because that's what their logic is. She suspects that her manager's boss wasn't paying enough attention to the schedule and didn't realise she would be gone and then threw a shit fit Friday when she wasn't there, but that's a you problem, my guy. You had two weeks to make sure there was coverage. Are you saying she can never go on vacation?

She's calling the department who handles the leave, because it sure feels like retaliation for taking family leave, which they're not allowed to do, but we're not sure if it's straight up illegal because they didn't fire her, just kicked her off the machines she's been working for a couple of years.

When she initially applied for the three days off, her company tried denying her and saying her leave wasn't approved due to company policy, and she had to go on the state website where it very clearly stated her application had been approved and tell them that the state approved it and it's mandated by state law, which company policy doesn't get to override. Management is a toxic shitshow anyway, but they really seem to be trying to go above and beyond with this.

Anyway, I am pissed on her behalf so there's my rant for the day.

[drdemonprince]

hey, so this is super random and I’m not sure if you have thought about this but figured I’d ask: (came to my mind after reading your story in *unmasking* about intervening in street harassment)

I’m audhd and it really affects my sensory processing, social/ situational awareness etc since it’s hard for me to discern which stimuli are important in any given situation. I’m also realizing that I never really feel unsafe as a single woman in a dense city environment, even when my friends feel unsafe. Makes it hard to trust my own intuition about that kinda stuff since everyone I know apart from myself has that experience.

Question is, do you happen to have any info/ best practices about situational awareness and judging the danger of potentially sketchy situations? Walking around the city at night, creepy rural gas station, online hookup, greyhound bus alone etc.

Everything online says “trust your intuition” but my intuition always says “ehh it’ll be fine” lol.

The truth is, it usually WILL be fine. Most people's *~magical crime and danger intuition~* is a combination of true crime slop, inaccurate media coverage of the crime rate inflating their anxieties, and classism and racism. The vast majority of crimes are not committed by random strangers lurking in the dark, but between individuals who know one another and in circumstances that are at least somewhat explicable, and so you do not need magic empath powers to determine if you will be safe somewhere or not.

The way you keep relatively safe is by informing yourself of the facts, not the hype -- look up the actual crime statistics for your area, for example, though be highly skeptical of them. These figures are collected by the police state and we cannot trust them to define what safety or unsafety even IS, as they are the source of the danger for the majority of us. What they classify as crime and where they bother to enforce crime is highly skewed, and itself can create massive misapprehensions. So make sure to also speak with people in the communities you are visiting about what happens to them and the general vibe. Also spend a lot of time out in your community yourself, observing things, talking to people, hanging out, maybe volunteering, and learning the lay of the land. You'll have more people around to help you if you ever need it, and you'll find more occasions where your help is needed, too!

Follow some basic, common sense advice to avoid making oneself especially vulnerable, but don't over-isolate yourself. Things like keeping one earbud out of your ear when walking home alone at night and not keeping a purse open on the train are always sensible maneuvers; carrying pepper spray or a gun that will more likely be used to harm you is not. Learn how to de-escalate people if you don't already know -- acting calm, making your posture non-threatening but confident, moving slowly and predictably, avoiding provocative eye contact, changing the subject of conversation, engaging a victim of harassment and pretending to know them in order to drag them away from a bad situation, etc. These things will be helpful to you if a situation arises, and the more prepared you feel, the less anxious you ever have to be.

Honestly, moving through the world with a "this feels fine / seems fine" energy is ITSELF massively protective. I have ALWAYS walked around alone at night, even when I was a small 18 year old "girl," including in areas where the majority of women of my then-demographic would have not felt "safe" going out on their own. By and large, I was completely fine. People really don't want to mess with you if you seem like you have a handle on your shit and are not afraid of them.

The worst that ever happened to me was a guy grabbing my tit -- in broad daylight on a sunday on a train packed full of people. It really couldn't have been avoided. And a guy flashing me -- again in midday in a family oriented neighborhood many would deem safe. I survived these things, and I defended myself by getting aggressive with the guys who did them, and physically attacking them, which scared them off. I'm glad I did what I did, and I'm glad I wasn't so intimidated by the possibility of scary stranger danger that I kept myself sequestered away.

The few other times anyone made me uncomfortable, it was things like leering comments or walking alongside me for a block, hitting on me (sometimes, yes, late at night), but because I was able to be assertive, unbothered, and stand my ground, the guys always gave up or were scared off (by me). And this reaction from me is one I largely credit to having no instinctual "stranger danger" crime intuition of the sort most white women are conditioned to have.

In short, I think your instincts might be more accurate to reality than your friends' are. It's good to look around and pay attention to things, to learn to recognize patterns, to study one's area, to speak to people in your community and know what's going on, and to prepare oneself for hard situations, which WILL happen to you sometimes no matter what you do. but the world is rarely as scary as it's made out to be.

[i-cant-sing]

im WRITING NOTES AGAIN!!!

ok so i had to reread the ending of TTAU pt 9 cos i was confused on why y/n was crying! but im refreshed, that’s just so sad to me. it must’ve felt very dehumanizing with how the royals (specifically Miriham ) treats y/n and to have her niqab ripped off of her. and her broach stolen too, but idk if she cares for that. i’m mostly focusing on the niqab being her coverage and her way to feel closer to her religion. idk maybe im reading too into it.

AGH BALDWIN MENTION!! RAHHHH RAHHHH RAHHHHH

Ibrahim PRAYING to have y/n fall in love with him too. I FEEL SO ROMANTICAL!! that’s just too cute , it’s not forcing y/n to be with him but hoping she comes to love him aswell , RAHHH I LOVE IT

also i feel like with him wanting her…idk if he’ll actually help her get Out. maybe get out of the royal area , or something. but idk about…letting her leave him?! it makes me suspicious but then he prayed for her and now idk…his intentions just seem �� to me. it’s shaking me around

mustafa bringing more broaches for y/n to wear, i wonder if he realizes that mihirmah is taking them without asking yet. or if he fr thinks y/n is still giving them away cos she doesn’t care.

im so stupid for not finishing that paragraph before writing something.

“there's no way he doesnt know Mihirmah is the one taking them when she openly flaunts them in his face.” is deadass the next sentence

“Baris asked as he looked through your closet.” i bet, he’s judging so hard. his ass is the type to throw something out cos he thinks it’s ugly.

another baldwin flashback 😭 STAWP , i’m trying to hate him in peace

"Because... I have to look for a present for Mustafa." SHE PLAYING BARIS LIKE MONOPOLY “present for Mustafa ☺️” LIAR !!!

"Have you stolen it?" RAHHHH I FEEL SOMETHING WEIRD IN MY TUMMY! DOES SHE KNOW ? DOES SULTANA KNOW SOMETHKNG SHE SHOULDNT ?

“Have you stolen what you came for? What exactly were you looking for? Mustafa's gold? His jewels?" bruh nvm. i’m stupid for thinking she’s smart.

“Just like Isabella, he will betray you every chance he gets.” that’s gotta be rough. like y/n has no one. literally no one. she’s just by herself until she can get home to her family, to her brother. i mean, y/n is clearly capable of surviving on her own, but it must be incredibly lonely and sad ! RAHHHH Y/N ! GOVE Y/N A BREAK!

“But... where did the portrait go?”

1. one of the boys has it hanging up cos “oh it looks so similar to the loml” 🤮

2. someone took it as black mail and is going to accuse y/n of witchery

3. it’s getting fixed up from where bladwin made out with it and they’ll find out it looks so similar to y/n and think y/n is related to royalty cos “why did a king 400 years ago have this portrait painted IF NOT IT BEING THE LOVE OF HIS CRAZY ASS LIFE ! AND Y/N IS A DESCENDANT AND CLEARLY NEEDS TO MARRY ONE OF THE BOYS THIS INSTANT! “

4. someone burnt it for y/n already

“ "I may not know how to hunt, but you do. So... shall we?" You asked patting the horse. “ y/n just makes herself seem like the weirdest person ever in both time periods cos she just wants to get OUTTA THERE! she does Not care if they think she’s crazy, she’ll say whatever to get where she needs to go.

“You both stared at each other, heaving and trying to catch your breath before breaking out into a laughter.” this horseback riding/chase scene is giving Anthony & Kate love story in Bridgerton. next thing we know Mustafa is gonna be going 🥴😵‍💫🤯 for how y/n smells. (this joke is gonna be lame if u haven’t seen bridgerton, i apologize)

“And somehow, you would soon hit the bullseye in his heart.” this shit corny as hell.

do it again

“…looking off into the distance as you remembered the old couple who helped you.” RAHHH I FORGOT ABOUT THAT! thats so saaaaad,

“‘…Maybe I'll see them there, just from a distance?" Mustafa nodded at your request. How could he say no to such an innocent ask?” *5 Seconds of Summer’s song Wrapped Around Your Finger starts playing *

“Those words, that praise... isnt that what he's yearned for all his life?” oh damn. this dude fell in love with a time traveling scammer. get in liiiine buddy, GET IN LINE!!!

“Doesnt he ever deserve to even delude himself that he has a chance at being the next sultan?” this whole paragraph just opened this character to me in such a naked way, it makes me FEEL REAL EMOTIONS! STOP IT! 🤮😭 also #daddyissues

“ "Wherever it'll be the most prominent." He smiled gently. “ hey, i’m just gonna jump off this cliff rq, ok? but fr tho? THIS IS TOO CUTE!! idk y/n’s plan with this is cos she doesn’t NEED to get him a gift, maybe it’s to get closer with him so he’ll have more leeway with her walking off without him? i’m under the delusion that she might be falling in love tho 🤷🏽‍♀️

“…or the way his heart warmed when your pupils dilated and he was ready to give you the world if you asked for it.” her pupils dilated ? well, she’s definitely attracted to the man 😀 right ? RIGHT?

“ "crochet your anger away, Y/n." “ I LOVE LEARNING ABOUT Y/N’s FAMILY!! THEYRE TOO CUTE !!

“…you finally sighed exaggeratively, as if this wasnt exactly what you wanted.” awe damn, mother fucking bitch. I AM DELULU! I HATE IT! i should’ve known, y/n is a scammer girl 4 lyfe 😣

“ “I do. But unfortunately, I had given it away to a Roman diplomat as goodwill." “ liar. he’s got it. i’m calling it rn. he’s got IT ! HES HIDING IT SOMEWHERE!!!!!! RAHHHH U LIAR!!! I DONT TRUST ANYONE NOW!!!!

“By the time you two left Manisa, Mustafa had decided that he was going to marry you.” damn bruh. u quick asf with that, huh? u love y/n thaaat bad ? OOOOH u wanna kiss y/n soooo baaad! he’s a little simp! simp! simp! simp!

“Mustafa doesnt have Suleiman's respect. “ oh damn that spiral was a little crazy. i like that. that’s my type of spiral.

“…he could only hope you dont mind that he lied to you about the portrait.” …i knew it 😩 I KNEW IT 😣 YOU CANT TRUST BITCHES ANYMORE ! WHAT HAPPENED TO HONEST GODLY MEN WHO DIDNT LIE 👹 AND CHEAT 👹 AND BE MEN 👹 ! RAHHHHH

“For him to stare at, to clear his mind as he peered into those eyes above the paint smudges, that looked eerily similar to yours.” hey now. let’s all chill out and not look into that, ok! let’s just stare at the portrait that was made 400 years ago, and is missing the bottom half of its face cos of no reason what so ever. don’t ever try to make a artist try to replicate it. don’t do anything crazy.

“On returning to Constantinople (present day known as Istanbul),” instantly reminded me of that scene in Umbrella Academy w/ Five fighting all those agents in a doughnut parlor. (i keep referencing things and just hoping you know one of them 😎)

“…your eyes being trained on the sad man who was busy buying vegetables.” RAHHH STOP I FEEL SO SAD ! THESE TWISTS OF EMOTIONS ARE TORTURE (i’m jk, i love being melodramatic)

“…but deep down, he knows he only stepped in to impress you.” HEADASS! this dude a simp.

“Mustafa threw a pouch of gold coins and told him that the debt is paid. Period. “ period 💅🏽

him still thinking of y/n saying she’s proud of him? HES SO INFATUATED WITH HERRRRR RAHHHHHHH

“…not knowing about the shit storm that was about to come.”

1. mihirmah is mad

2. the other lover boy (Mehmed) is mad

3. the sultana (that ISNT mustafa’s mom) is mad cos her kids are mad

“…but it seems like sweet talking didnt make a dent on you” ok? bitch tf? SAVE MY GRANDFATHER FROM GETTING HARASSED AND PAY OFF HIS DEBT! then we can talk, tf? Y/n DOESNT OWE U ANYTHING BITCH

“ "You're clearly accusing me of something, so say it." “ oh man, i just love when a women doesn’t let bitchass men walk over them. PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE GIRL ! YES BITCH!!

“…they still stay here, only leaving when the sultan takes them along." “ you saying only a lady’s baby daddy or real daddy can take them out of the house ? get the FAWK out of my face , THIS DUDE GOT ME MAD!

“Is he- did he just say you tempt men?” barf. this man is the definition of “i trust You, i just don’t trust men around u,” BITCH SHUT UUUUUUUUPPP

“…but the moment these men know that you're a woman, you're meat for them.” this sounds like projection, mother fucker. get into some therapy. BARF

“This veil that you seem so proud of?…” why did this make me feel attacked? this made me even more upset for y/n, cos ??? y/n has every right to be proud of it even if “It only makes men to want to rip it off you more”, that isn’t Why y/n wears her veil. maybe i’m not using the right words or expressing my feelings right but it just made me really mad.

“but you're wrong if you think I'm using my veil, my covered body to invite men to stare at me." “ oh beautiful. she put it into words for me.

"I AM THE NEXT SULTAN! I AM UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO MAKE SENSE TO YOU!" the gasp that i just gusped!! HOW DARE YOU!!

“His hand reached up and grabbed your niqaab, threatening to yank it off you.” i’m feeling VERY VIOLENT THOUGHTS!

“Do you think you can stop me from making your worst nightmares come to life?"” 😮.

“he found it necessary to reprimand you.” 🤢

“He patted your cheek to make you nod, and he finally backed away and left you alone in the hall.” 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

“how Mehmed had lifted up your veil and traced your skin.” that was a deadass traumatizing scene between the two and all the palace bitches got from that was “ohhhh they’re in loooooove” SHUT UUUUUUUP

“You want Mustafa to lose- you want Mahidevran to lose!” oh this bitch is crazy. her thots spirals just like her sons, apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

“..it doesnt register at first the hard smack she delivered to your face.” god damn. y/n never catches a break in this awful place. GET HER OUT ! GET HER OUT NOOOOW!!

“Hurrem turned to look at you, grimacing at your bloodied face.” oh god damn. i just hate everyone atp.

“…then that is what I will say- Mehmed did this to me.” y/n is too smart for her own good. FUCK THEM BITCHES UP WITH INTELLIGENCE GIRL!! GET THEM WITH UR UPDATED SCHOOL TEACHINGS!!

“But if you were to help me escape-" “ i hope to god this bitch helps y/n leave PLEASE GOD PLEASE

“Baris walked in with Mustafa, Mehmed and Mihirmah, all looking at the state of your injured face.” oh damn, my girl isn’t wearing her niqab 😩

“…it was Mehmed's eyes that pricked you and you quickly grabbed your veil, tying it around your face to cover it.” he’s cool for that, ig. i still hate him and want him to die and want him to fall on his face and break his nose and i want his dad to stop loving him.

“Suleiman's eyes widened at the state of your face- bruised, bloodied and swollen.” THIS ANGST IS CRAAAAAZY! DUDE ITS CRAAAAAZY !! I GET WHY Y/N WONT SNITCH BUT PLEASE ! PLEASE ! LET SOMEONE BE SMART ENOUGH TO FOGURE IT OUT ON THEIR OWN ! (i’m asking for too much ik) WHERE THEY CAN IGNORE Y/N TRYING TO LIE ABOUT HOW SHE DOESNT KNOW! PLEASE

“No. No, she couldnt have.” YES SHE COULDVE U DUMB BOY! PLEASE ! PLEASE ! JUST FIGURE OUT UR MOM IS A DUMB BITCH ‘ PLEASE

“ Suleiman's sixth sense was keeping him unsettled” NAUR BITCH ! ITS MORE LIKE A 5 1/4th OF A SENSE ! UR SO CLOSE BUT SO FAR ! PLEASE ! SOMEONE PLEASE !

“ Her hands hiding under her sleeves.” OH THANK GOD ITS A FR 6th SENSE ! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!!

“ "It’s okay, sultana. It was an accident." “ i did all this begging and for WHAT? whyyyy y/n ?! whyyyy do you have to care about the timeline and the fact that you’re literally controlling the future with what you doooo! whyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!

“ All this time, I thought she was cheating on you but Hurrem set her and me up. “ so CLOSE! YOURE SO CLOSE! Hurrem’s son is just a fucking crazy misogynistic that deserves the PLAGUE ! idk what plague, of if there is a plague at this time , but i hope he gets something bad!

“He now understands why his mother wanted him to marry you. You- you are the key to having the throne…” i like that he Just now got it! i like to think he truly likes y/n all on his own without the mission of the throne. it definitely helps his feelings, he gets the girl he likes and the throne. but he liked her fr, just for her.

“…had his blood boiling at the sight of your face uncovered as Baris applied healing balms to your wounds.” is this dude ever Not mad ? gtfo

“He corrected you before turning your face to him harshly” i just realized this dude is a real yandere. like an actual yandere. i forgot that this is what it’s all about. i’m all like “hes dehumanizing y/n!” “hes misogynistic !” like bitch look at wtf ur reading. ofc he is. he’s a yANDERE ! i’m sorry, dear author! i forgot where i was for a second!

"If you can do it yourself, then why let Baris do it? Do you enjoy his touch?" i still hate him.

“…because you dont want to stay in a place without the only sane person who had your back.” as far as we know….as far as we know.

“…besides giving him curt replies, which he doesnt notice because his head is so far up his-“ BARF BARF BARF! i hate him

“Mehmed has fucking lost it, and I need to get out of here right now.” PLEASE PLEASE GET OUT AS FAST AS YOU CAN! PLEASEEEE

"I'm saving your ass. Duh." i don’t trust ur Baris. someone def paid him to do it.

"He's having their eyes stitched up for staring at you." oh he’s CRAZY CRAZY! those poor people! y/n is going to feel so guiltyyyyy NAUUUR ! nawt more trauma ! leave my girl aloooooone!

“Keep a low profile and try not to seduce any more unhinged men.” little does Baris know…theyre in a story written by someone who will definitely have that happen :)! i’m sorry y/n ! i’m sorry for what the author with put u thru!!

“He had been paying me since the moment you set foot in the palace to keep you safe.” ibrahim! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU IBRAHIM!!

“So thats what Suleiman wanted to discuss with you.” Y/n ! LOVE IBRAHIM! PLEASE LOVE HIM! (i’m jk, but fr, i’m glad y/n is getting out)

“They're in love with me. And when they heard I was leaving, they decided to come along. “ baris, you devil man. i knew you were good this whole time…

“Maybe you just lucked out-“ i don’t want to scroll down. i don’t WANT TO MNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN! I JUST WANT TO TURN OFF MY PHONE AND DELETE TUMBLR AND LET THAH BE IT!!!

“You were struck by lightening.” god damn. just god damn. just- ohmygod! OHMYGOD! HO ! MA ! GAWD ! CAN SHE HAVE ANYTHING ? CAN SHE JUST GET A BREAK FOR A SECOND?’ CAN SHE JUST FEEL HOPE AND JOY FOR A SECOND?!

“ "I know where she is." He stood up, Mehmed following behind him. “ NAUUUR! THE GRANDPARENTS!! THEYRE GONNA DIIIIIE ! PLEASE NO! PLEASE GAWD NOOOOOOO!!!

“She killed herself the next day. She had jumped off the roof, but she didnt die instantly. She died as Hurrem watched from her balcony, and she refused to alert anyone to help the poor woman.” the old couples daughter, nooooo! just nooooooo! at least they can meet with her when they die,,,hopefully from old age!!

"BY THE ORDER OF SEHZADE MUSTAFA! OPEN THE DOOR!" it’s not gonna be from old age, they are Not dying from old age.

“ "Do it. Save Y/n." He told her, but before anyone could react, Mehmed sliced off the man's head, “ IM ACTUALLY CRYING. LIKE FR ! this isn’t faiiiiir! i mean? i know they were gonna die and i kept joking but IT WAS TO COVER THE PAIN! PLEASE NOOOOOO

“Mehmed kicked her in the back and the old lady fell to the ground. “ she died just like her daughter…kinda ? that’s so sad. i’m so upset!

"Fine." He pulled out his sword. "May the better prince win." god damn. just god damn.

“Mehmed was going to win and she needed to be there to witness it.” she’s as crazy as her damn brother. why tf did i think she was a lesbian and in love with y/n. i should’ve known 😣 i was pushing my gay agenda , the republicans r right 🫨 IM JUST FUCKING AROJND! i’m KIDDING

“ "I am better than you. In every way." Mustafa raised his sword to drop it on Mehmed's neck, just as cruelly he had done to that old woman.” SCREAMING! IM SCREAMING!!

“But that will be for another day-“ nauuur bitch. ur brother is gonna kill you! TURN AROUND BITCH ! TURN AROUND’ RAHHH NOOOO RAHHHHH

“People who more than willingly began microdosing Mehmed with poison.” i didn’t Not expect this. ho em gee

“You slammed your fists as the room began catching on fire.” y/n and fire! god damn. you’d think fire is a yandere for this poor girl. ohmygodddd

“The next moment, Mustafa's head was chopped off.” THE. GASP. I. JUST. GUSPED. NAUUUUUR I LIKED HIM THE MOST! NAUUUUR NAUUUUR NAUUUUUR

“It’s on.” oh mygod. OH MYGDOD

“Whatever time you land in, it'll be better than the one where you almost burn to death. Right?” RIGHT ?! RIGHT?! god PLEASE SOMEONE! GET THAT DAMN SCREEN FIXED ! PLEASE !

i’m feeling so many emotions. everyone died. girl when u said “ no one gets hurt “ or something like that. i was like “oh some ONE will die” bitch i didn’t think EVERYONE! the old couple! mustafa ! fuck head! like god damn bruh. i wonder how badly this will fuck with the timeline in the future.

ibrahim is at war rn and waiting to get home to his soon to be wife! the sultanas have lost both of their eldest sons! hurrem has some leftovers, so i wonder who will be in charge next.

the old couple gets to see their daughter again, and i loved how they loved y/n. i wonder why the old lady was choking y/n tho? was it to kill her so she didn’t have to go with mehmed & mustafa?

mustafa dying really upset me too. he had a genuine connection with y/n i feel like (besides ibrahim ofc) and i really liked him. you fleshed out his character so well that it shocked me when he died! he must’ve been scared, surrounded by people who wanted him dead. his mom far away. the love of his life (y/n) meeting an uncertain fate in that random castle. his brother just dying infront of him. i thot he had his army with him too, so im surprised Mehmed’s men were surrounding him. it’s just sad!

BUT SO GOOD! i’m so excited to see how this goes! how far it goes! i’ve really enjoyed annotating while i read as well, i feel like im more immersed in the story! thank you for chapter 10! it was delicious 😩

11/10 review, amazing, showstopping fabulous <3333

and yes, the old couple was killing y/n to save her from being taken advantage of by the ottomans, as their daughter was. in a way, they had good intentions for y/n.

[amateurhourfanfics]

Give em' Hell ⟢ ⟢ ⟢

… a series (pt 1)

au!Daredevil x fem!reader - a three part series in which you get to know who Daredevil really is behind the mask - by putting him in front of your camera...

Summary: After months of trying to catch the illusive Daredevil on film, you finally meet the newest hero of Hell's Kitchen, and he's not what you expected. (hurt/comfort, fighting bad guys, softy daredevil)

Word Count: 1500

Warnings: 18+ for following series, mild violence, mugging, swearing, brief mention of blood, knife fight, spice to come ;)

Part 1 | Hell’s Kitchen at Night

I know as a woman I shouldn’t be walking home alone at night. Especially in New York City. Especially when I’m carrying a camera that costs more than three months rent in my shitty Hell’s Kitchen apartment. 

The thing is, I don’t really care at the moment. My place is just around the corner and we were on location for almost 14 hours today. All I want to do is go home, and calling a cab would be more work than it’s worth. Plus, I have leftover crab rangoon and chardonnay from last night's post-shoot girl dinner. 

Days like these had become my normal in the past few months, as the city demanded more and more coverage on the elusive Daredevil. When the masked vigilante was first spotted in Hell’s Kitchen, NBC decided they had to have the best coverage of New York's newest hero. 

So, every day my team and I had been running around the city desperately trying to grab footage of Daredevil. Yet somehow, I alone had managed the few shots any news outlet in the area could get. So, NBC dubbed itself as Daredevil’s exclusive news station. Of course that didn’t come with a pay raise, so after each 14 hour day, I limped back to my dingy studio. 

Today, we didn’t get shit. We had an anonymous tip for an armed robbery at the bank up on 57th, meaning that Daredevil was inevitably going to make an appearance. My little on-the-ground team got restless as the hours went on, but I made us stay until sundown just in case. Like most other days, the tip was fake and Daredevil never showed. 

When I notice a group of men cross the street behind me, I tighten my grip on my backpack and walk a little faster. I immediately clock three of them and my heart speeds like every woman’s does when a man walks behind her at night. I tell myself it’s nothing. They’re just walking home like everyone else. It’s nothing. 

But then they speed up. At first I think I’m imagining it, but within a minute they go from a couple blocks behind me to maybe ten feet. I look back and realize they’re all masked. Shit.

As soon as I make eye contact with the dark figure in the front, all three men start running at me. I turn and run away as fast as I can, adrenaline pumping. I dash down a shadowed alleyway in hopes of losing them, but they chase me in and now I’m trapped. 

“What do you want?” I shout, masking the shakiness in my voice.

The men walk forward, backing me into the end of the alley. 

“Can’t be walking around the city with a bag like that, sweetheart,” the one in the front growls. “I know what’s in there. You think the news doesn’t come to Hell’s Kitchen?” He flicks open a long knife at his side.

I fumble in my purse, blindly searching for the pepper spray I always carry on me. Where is it?

He creeps closer. “Drop the bag, sweetheart.” There is no way in Hell I am handing over my camera. None. The adrenaline takes over and I say, “Fuck you.”

He cackles. “This one’s got a little mouth on her. I like that.” Now he’s only feet away and I’m frantically searching for the pepper spray, hands shaking. The man grabs me by the shoulders but I finally find what I’m looking for and discharge it directly into his face. He screams. The others charge at me and now I’m screaming, too, praying someone hears me. I get hit in the face hard and everything is a blur. This is it. This is how I die. One of them has me in a tight grip as I kick and yell and sob. 

A deep voice comes from behind me. “Take your hands off her. Now.”

In my panic, I didn’t notice anyone else approaching. The thief turns me around, pinning me to his chest with a knife at my throat. “Nice costume,” he scoffs. My heart stops when I realize who the voice is coming from.

Daredevil.

The figure slowly comes out of the shadows. “I’m not going to repeat myself,” he grinds out. His suit is barely visible in the dark alleyway, but the devil horns on the mask are undeniable. All three men are now laughing. The one who I pepper sprayed swings my camera bag over his shoulder. I feel a trickle of blood run down my chin from where my lip was split. 

“And if I don’t?” growls the thief, digging his fingers into my arms painfully. I struggle against his grip, careful of the knife that’s still up under my chin.

Daredevil charges. Instinct takes over and I throw my head back into the man’s nose and hear a satisfying crunch. He groans and drops the knife. I bend to grab it but I quickly realize I’m not needed. To my left is a blur of kicks and blocks and punches. One of them slashes Daredevil across the chest, but he’s out cold after a series of blows that would’ve killed a smaller man. The other thief tries to get away with my camera in the chaos, but Daredevil spots him and whips a club at his head. He drops like a stone.

Lastly, Daredevil approaches the man below me who is clutching his face as blood pours from his broken nose. “Please!” he cries as he gets to his feet, “I’ll just go, I didn’t want anything to do–”

He’s silenced with a punch to the head. His body hitting the pavement is the only sound in the alleyway. Then, I can only hear my own heart beat. I’m shaking from the adrenaline and trying to conceptualize what just happened. 

Daredevil walks over to where the man dropped my camera and brings it to me. He puts a hand on my shoulder gently. 

“Are you okay?” he asks, barely out of breath. I take my camera from him in disbelief. 

“I think so. I– You’re–”

“Are you hurt? Other than that lip?”

I’m numb from the shock. “I don’t know. Maybe. No. Just a few bruises.” I blink up at him and look down at the gloved hand that’s still on my shoulder.

“Thank you,” I breathe. “I genuinely don’t know what I would have done.”

He smirks. “I don’t know, you seemed to have things pretty well handled on your own.”

The fog is beginning to clear now and I come to my senses. I need to get off the street and lock my door forever. 

“I should get home.”

I try taking a step and wince. My right ankle hurts like hell and is throbbing from the pressure. I must have twisted it at some point running away. Shit. 

“Do you live around here?” Daredevil asks, his voice soft and low. 

“Just around the corner.”

“I’ll take you.”

I scoff. “I think Daredevil has much better things to do than take me home.”

“I don’t,” he says with confidence. “Let me walk you back at least.”

The thought of being walked home by Daredevil is ridiculous, but my ankle really hurts and if I’m being honest, I’m terrified of being attacked again.

“What about them?” I gesture to the three figures on the ground. Police sirens blare from a couple blocks away, getting closer by the minute. 

“These guys will be out for a while. By the time they realize what’s happening they’ll be in the back of a squad car. Let’s go.”

“Okay.” I can’t believe I’m having a conversation with Daredevil. The Daredevil that I have been trying to get coverage of for months.

“May I?” he asks. I nod. He easily scoops me up under my knees and back. I’m surprised by how gently he holds me against his chest and how small I feel in his arms. 

We stick to the shadows on the way back to my place, staying close to the buildings. Every little noise on the street makes me flinch. I can still feel the cold steel against my throat and that horrible man’s grip on my arms. My heart speeds and I can feel the panic flooding my system again. 

“It’s okay. I’ve got you, you’re okay,” he whispers against the shell of my ear. He must be noticing how scared I am somehow. “Just breathe, we’re almost there.” The softness in his voice is so at odds with the violence I’ve seen him commit that it snaps me out of my panic a bit. What's happening right now?

When we get to the front door of my building, I have a hard time unlocking the door with my shaking hand. He silently steadies it with his own and I manage to unlock the door. 

Then, Daredevil carries me into my apartment...

_____________________

READ PART 2 HERE!!!

[photospin]

dark and ominous swamp.

polaroid sx-70 film.

adjusted in photoshop.

if you like what you see here, you can leave me a tip via my ko-fi. tips are appreciated but not expected.

a little bit about this photo here:

—

this is another photo taken when my sx-70's pick-arm was malfunctioning. on top of that, it was a 90+ degree F day, which caused the film in the bay of the camera to expand.

as a result, it came out oddly exposed and partially damaged. the exposure ring on the camera was set to one stop lower than center, due to the extremely bright sunlight that day, but you wouldn't think that by looking at it. in reality, the sun was beating down directly on top of us (we were in an area of the swamp that had a clearing so there was no tree coverage/shade) and the scene was actually fairly well-lit.

when using a polaroid, if the sunlight is oppressive, i tend to set the exposure to a -1 to start. the sx-70 land camera has a dial rather than a slider mechanism that would be used on later polaroid cameras. but it's pretty clear what setting you're on because the dial has a small notch in it to show where "neutral exposure" is. mine was set just slightly less of neutral, and yet the picture came out so dark with a bright sky.

i'm chalking it up to the damaged film screwing up the pick-arm's calculations for the height of the exposure. the expanded chemicals probably made it a millimeter or two too high, thus the pick-arm was pressing the exposure up against the mirror, and in turn, making the rollers have to work harder to compress and spread the chemicals across the exposure. it certainly made a horrible mechanical sound when this picture was taken that scared the shit out of me lol.

furthermore, the sx-70 land camera has an entirely metal body and the film was newly purchased. why does that matter? well, present-day polaroid cannot make the exact same formula that was used from the 70s to the early 00s due to a bunch of regulations i won't get into. as a result, i do think whatever mixture they used was primarily developed with the assumption that it would be used in plastic-body cameras, which don't get as hot.

just a guess, though. i think the result is pretty interesting anyway.

[mskenway97]

life or taste

Okay i write this different for some ideas in my mind thanks to @callsign-relic's tasty AU

If you are sensitive to this, I warn you not to read from here.

Warnings: soft vore,unwilling vore, size difference, biting.

I just had to stay at the base, but Miko had gone through the portal. She never thought about it before entering. The battle was in the middle of a forest. I didn't want to lose Miko along the way, there had come a time when I had lost sight of Miko and the explosions that could be heard.

A sepulchral silence around me, I had the feeling that I was being watched. I grabbed my phone and tried to call Ratchet, but I saw that there was no coverage.

"Shit, Shit… Calm down, I just have to think clearly. Don't imagine that I'm in a horror movie scenario, and at night… "I thought as I started to hear some howling.

That feeling of being watched… It was increasing more and more. Until I saw some red optics in front of me. I didn't hesitate anymore, I started to run, I felt my breath hot. If this was a nightmare I wanted to wake up now.

I heard the decepticon's footsteps, it wasn't too close nor too far away it seemed it was playing with her.

The footsteps started to disappear, I could only hear my breathing and my heartbeat at a thousand per hour. I started to hear the footsteps continue as I found a cave to hide in without anyone catching me. I looked at my cell phone again, still without reception. I hugged my legs and stayed inside the cave.

"Will someone have noticed that I'm not at the base? Who is the decepticon looking for me? In the darkness I couldn't see who it was. This is a disaster" I thought

I started to hear some footsteps near the cave, I tried to hide as best I could in the cave until I saw a servo trying to catch me, I tried to run to the bottom of the cave but unfortunately it was not very deep and I tried to resist. Believing it was the decepticon I resisted as best I could only to see that it was useless, but I felt it wasn't holding me tightly, when it pulled me out of the cave I could see some optics that were very familiar to me.

-Y/N, thanks to Primus I found you - said the soft and strong baritone of Optimus looking at me worried - What were you thinking about?

-I was trying to stop Miko, I lost my way…. I felt that someone was following me.

-Well, well it looks like someone has beaten me to it….

I opened my eyes wide as Optimus protected me with his servos. The decepticon that had been chasing me was the leader of the Decepticons himself. What did the Decepticon leader want from me?

-Ratchet, I need a groundbridge," I heard Optimus say.

There was no response on the other end of the line, Megatron was laughing on the other end.

-The reinforcements aren't coming…. It got my attention watching that little girl run for her life," I heard Megatron say.

I felt Optimus' servos gripping me tighter, Megatron on the other hand was swinging his sword ready to attack.

I saw that Optimus dodged, he took me with him to leave me in some safe area.

"Stay hidden, don't move," Optimus told me as he went to fight Megatron.

Although he was at a distance, he could clearly hear the clashes of metal and the shots of the two titans. Curiosity could lead me closer to the combat area. The forces were equal between the two, they seemed too focused.

I was not focused when I saw that Megatron was pointing his gun at me, Optimus saw me and parried the shot in front of him, shooting him in the Chest plate, causing some of the energon to fall to the ground.

-Optimus! -I said as I saw him get on his knees from the pain, Megatron pointed the sword at his Helm.

-Always defending the weakest… It seems that you are very fond of this thing…-I heard Megatron while I felt his servo grab me.

I felt immobilized as I saw a cruel smile at the Decpeticon leader.

-There is a way you can survive… If you accept my conditions you will both come out alive but the little girl may not like the terms… You are small and resistant… But how do you know taste? Human, enter the jaws of your protector… Optimus and perhaps you will be saved…

-No! -I heard Optimus scream as he tried to get up, I was watching Megatron bring me closer to his mouth, I saw his teeth near him.

-If you don't decide quickly, I will end up making you enter mine and taste you to my liking. While your beloved guardian dies. You being my little pleasure for life - I heard Megatron say cruelly.

I was terrified just the thought of entering, it gave me chills, I saw those dentas too close to me. If I didn't decide quickly the Earth would be doomed and Optimus, the autobots would be lost forever.

-Come on, little one… Decide

-You don't have to do this Y/N - I heard Optimus when I looked at him I felt so guilty… I couldn't just watch him die, not after everything we've been through.

If I have to choose between the jaws of the beast and the noble warrior. I have a clear choice.

When Megatron was almost about to put me in his mouth-I'll do it! - I screamed as I felt that he had stopped looking at me with a cruel smile.

-Good decision… I'll give you 10 minutes to enter, don't make me wait

Megatron left me in the servos of Optimus, who had a distraught face plate, believing that this was all a nightmare.

The relationship we had was close, he became my guardian. I was secretly in love with him, I wanted to know him but not literally inside. I felt his servos shake.

"Don't worry… I'm not going to judge you, people need you, just do it," I told him while he tried to hold back my tears.

Megatron was aiming his weapon at him, while Optimus removed the battle mask from him, I was slowly approaching his mouth. I saw the inside of him, the gloss of him and the dentas of him. He entered me little by little and carefully. I was starting to feel parts of my body covered in what seemed to be slime, his gloss was around my back.

-Shut your mouth, taste it with your glossa - Megatron told him.

Optimus did so reluctantly, he was beginning to feel various parts of my body that were being covered by his gloss. Certain parts of my body were giving me some excitement or it was also due to lack of air. I moaned a little without realizing it.

-Wow, it seems that the little girl is enjoying being in your jaws, Optimus… Doesn't she seem delicious to you? Don't look at me with that face… I was watching you both closely. "Some of my spies said she was your little pet," Megatron told him.

I felt like I was almost going inside so Optimus was almost going to respond, but he had to restrain himself.

-Oh wow, can't you talk? Your sweet little one is being too busy for you. Now the poor thing must be scared of what's going to happen to her… Turned into a little sweet… That's looking at me with rage… But why just give her a glossa? "When we can give you two," Megatron told him.

When I heard that I felt Optimus's mouth and gloss tighten around my body. I was short of breath when I felt it.

Megatron grabbed him by the chin making him look at him -I can finish them both off quickly if you don't obey… The sacrifice of your little pet would have been in vain…

Then I heard a silence, to see that Optimus's mouth had opened a little, to feel another different sensation, another glossa… Then I realized that you were kissing, I felt the touch of both glossas playing with my body, competing to see which one had the greatest control over me. I ended up in so many positions… my mind was already starting to get clouded by the pleasure since his lips were touching certain parts of my body that were making me shake non-stop.

Megatron stopped to watch him lick his lips, while both Optimus and I were exhausted.

To see that the kiss continues while I feel both glossas around me again but this time when I finished I was in Megatron's jaws that I began to taste and feel the small bite on my arm and legs.

Then the process was repeated again, it seemed that Megatron and Optimus were still carried away by the feeling. While I felt somewhere between his glosses, between pleasure and fear. I couldn't see what was happening to Optimus but his side wasn't as pleasant as mine either.

We reached a certain point when Megatron was comfortable with both of us.

Megatron smiled diabolically as he grabbed Optimus's jaw again - I'm still left with the feeling that I need something in my tanks.

The look of horror on mine and Optimus's face could be seen from a distance.

"We hadn't agreed on that," I said nervously while the Decepticon leader laughed.

-Oh, you thought you were going to get away with it, that's not going to happen… You'll be a good little sweet…

I was horrified to hear it, how could it end like this while I felt Optimus' glossa pushing me inside. I understood what he was doing…

-Do what you have to do… - I said as I felt like I was sliding deeper.

Megatron was realizing what Optimus had done.

Megatron was going to attack him until Bumblebee and the rest came to help them.

Megatron ended up retreating far away but satisfied with what he had done.

Ratchet asking what had happened and where he was.

Optimus was unable to respond he felt so guilty, so destroyed…his little y/n didn't deserve to be inside his tanks. He felt remorse… But he had to protect her from ending up in a worse fate even if it was inside her.

Luckily the advantage is that he could get you out of there… No organic matter was consumed.

But that day would not be forgotten by Optimus or me.

Those horrors would remain in my mind for life.

[enokibb]

Cardfight Vanguard Rant because I want to love this series so bad but life apparently doesn't want me to.

For reference I live in Ireland for some geographical context.

I feel like cardfight vanguard is one of the hardest shit to get into without spending like a lot of money on it unless I'm just being dumb which I hope is the case honestly cuz I love this series.

Like I spent over an hour looking for somewhere to read the original manga and I can't find anywhere that has above the 5th chapter translated which doesn't make any sense because there's an official translated print of the manga which I can still buy but I don't have 120 euro to drop on a manga series rn lol.

Also like I know bushiroad is struggling as a company but who was gonna tell me they closed the servers for vanguard zero last year????? Now there's no mobile game coverage for the series at all which I feel like is a big blow to people that might not have a huge vanguard community to play with as that was probably their only way to get some acc playtime in. Now there is the overdress game which I do actually really wanna get some time but it's like 80 euros and that's not amount I can jus pull out of my ass either.

Having the anime for overdress readily available on YouTube is huge honestly and probably a big part of why I haven't dropped the series yet as a whole lmao so that's great but I feel like that's the only good thing theyve done for it in the last while.

Now idk I could be wrong I know vanguard has never been a popular card game in my area it's always struggled none of my local card shops stock vanguard anymore (which again adds to the cost as I need to outsource all my cards) and I haven't met a single soul id be able to play with around here but if other people's experience with it is different I'd love to hear it.

Vanguard is a series that's always had a very permanent place in my heart I still remember being at my freinds house and stumbling onto the series by accident while doom scrolling through crunchy roll trying to find something to watch and immediately fell in love with the series, i still have all my original starter decks which are probably extremely obsolete now lmao but I love looking at them all the same. Out of the new products I have the danji starter deck for overdress I love the vibes of dark states. But yeah if anyone has tips on how to get more into the scene or has had a similar experience with it id love to talk about it and make some friends who're also into vanguard! Gonna be honest my limit of vanguard above base level is really limited because of the on and offness with which I approached the series for the above reasons but I wanna COMMMITTTT I WANNA LEARNNNNN. Or even if I'm just doing stuff wrong and looking in the wrong places like pls let me know.

Anyways cardfight blogs pls interact I love y'all 💖💖💖

[fresh-bag-of-ham]

seeking urbanism / housing advocacy advice (because you're the only person i follow who both posts about it and does it): my city (primarily a college town, population < 100k) is holding a community discussion about ways to increase affordable housing, including inclusionary zoning and other zoning reforms. what kinds of policy ideas / comments are best to bring to this as A Member Of The Public? does inclusionary zoning work like it's supposed to? are there other specific zoning reforms that work well? i know getting rid of parking minimums is a big one, but i don't know if that's achievable here yet.

MY TIME HAS COME.

First of all, if the forum is about 'affordable housing', then you may need to start with drawing the connection between affordability and increasing housing supply. There are a lot of tangents you can go down in a discussion of affordable housing, but the crucial point to get across is that increasing housing supply on its own makes housing costs go down. Investor speculation in real estate, e.g., happens because supply is constrained and those are the conditions where real estate values reliably go up, creating profit. It is a symptom, not a cause. See also: landlords in Austin, TX melting down on Twitter because they're increasing supply so fast there that they're having to lower rents. Video recently studied and shown to be 3x more effective for changing people's minds about supply-side housing than other interventions.

INCLUSIONARY ZONING. a.k.a. mandating that for any development with more than X units, Y% of those units must be 'affordable' units reserved for families earning Z% area median income. In a perfect world, all housing would be mixed-income housing. In practice, the effectiveness of IZ depends almost entirely on what you set Y% at. About five years ago, our local DSA passed a referendum increasing Y% from 10% to 25%. This change has basically stalled all housing development that this applies to because the projects just don't pencil. You need subsidy to build affordable housing, you have to cobble that subsidy together from a lot of different funding sources, and all these sources have different requirements on how their funding can be used. Your problems become twofold: (1) Most subsidies for affordable housing want you to build something that's more like 80-100% affordable, so a 25%-affordable development won't get funding. (2) The subsidy available for affordable housing is finite, so even if your 25%-affordable development were able to get subsidy, that necessarily is taking subsidy away from somewhere else. The same number of affordable units will be built, IZ just ends up trying to dictate how those units are distributed. It mainly ends up kneecapping market-rate housing construction, which, again, adding market-rate housing puts downward pressure on housing prices.

Our prior level of 10% IZ seemed to work ok..? but I would caution strongly against relying on IZ if you are supply constrained, which, I can't imagine you're not. A buzzy new strategy for mixed-income housing creation is "social housing" -- AOC wrote about it in the NYT last week, here's a talk about it that I admittedly haven't watched yet. This is what's getting traction here as DSA is tentatively walking back support for their very aggressive IZ policy that has not created the affordable housing they wanted it to.

If you have parking minimums, KILL THAT SHIT. We were successful in advocating for our table of parking minimums to be turned into parking maximums. Add/increase bike parking minimums, bike theft is a HUGE deterrent from biking here, so having a safe place to store your bike at home is critical if you want anyone to start leaving behind their cars. You also probably want to look at dimensional standards: increase heights, reduce setbacks, increase lot coverage maximums, reduce lot size minimums, if you're anything like our city then you probably have even more and weirder constraints you'll want to relax so new buildings can be bigger and hold more units. You probably have just straight up caps on number of units per lot -- kill single-family zoning, get at least 4 units or something per lot allowed! Lot area per dwelling unit is a particularly terrible constraint, basically creating a minimum amount of land you have to own in order to be able to have a home. Horrible! Kill it!

My personal preferred urban form is the perimeter block enabled by single-stair apartment buildings that's common throughout Europe and basically anywhere outside of the US and Canada. This will take reforms at multiple levels before it becomes possible even here, but Seattle-based architect Michael Eliason (@holz_bau on Twitter) has stair-pilled me on this form so powerfully, and https://secondegress.ca/ makes the extremely compelling (Canada-centric) case for allowing single-stair apartment buildings, which for us means changing building code at the state level. #goals, though.

I have had a lot of practice recently writing and organizing public comment to advocate for this stuff so I would be happy to talk messaging/strategy at any point, I could go on and on about this subject! I'm so thrilled that you're asking about this though, it's so important to get involved and show up at these kinds of meetings, because the people who reliably show up to these things are the retiree busybodies with nothing but free time to oppose every type of change imaginable and are the ones who got us into this situation in the first place.

[gwydionmisha]

Personal: For Profit Healthcare and Me

So remember how Peacehealth drove all the independent offices in four specialties out of business, thus forcing everyone to use their clinic, then closed those clinics to force everyone to go to their central clinic two counties to the south? And remember how both the Doctors who were running that clinic made a deal to operate out of a clinic a regional medical conglomerate was opening near the hospital? so instead of me spending all day on a sixty mile each way trek for my treatment I was using the last three months of skeleton crew treatment at old clinic which ended the last Thursday in September? Remember how they said we could all follow our doctors there?

Yeah, about that.

I've been dutifully calling ever two weeks to see if they were letting people schedule appointments yet. They sent out a letter saying they were open. I stayed up Tuesday to get in sorted. it was a whole drama because the automated maze to get to the scheduler was as much of a hassle as Peacehealth's and prone to dropping calls, forcing one to start from scratch each time. so that was frustrating and tine consuming.

Apparently they have no access to our health records, so it was a start from scratch situation. Me, mentally: Shit! This is going to be HOURS. Only it wasn't for all the wrong reasons. They take Medicare, but not Medicare Advantage. So if I want it covered I have to lose most of my benefits including having Medicaid pay my big Medicare copay. O.o. Or I can pay for expensive treatments myself as uninsured.

I was upset, but I remembered superstar medical social worker lady personally calling around town to talk dentists into taking medicare dental coverage for me thus opening up my small city so that medicare patients can now get root canals and crowns instead of learning to live without chewing.

So I still thought it was salvageable. Problem is she's gone and the woman replacing her is a busy supervisor who likes to call me two hours into my sleep cycle without warning and then gets angry at me for not being charming. Previous lady asked when was best to call and would schedule calls in advance for a time when I was able to be awake and functional. it is a lot easier for me to be charming when I wasn't just ripped out of REM sleep and am now being interrogated about something.

New lady is a supervisor and super busy with supervisor things and is made of no and is snippy. I can not make her understand that not only is a 120 mile round trip over mountain passes dealing with the traffic mess along the highway in the major metropolitan area where I once got caught in a four hour traffic jam and couldn't get off to pee, is an entire exhausting day for me and that plus a treatment would not only mean i could do anything useful that day, but the next day to. She can't grasp how much pain is involved in long car trips or how much treatments take out of me. She keeps hard selling me on this and then calling me resistant and recalcitrant like I'm the one being unreasonable for considering this basically insurmountable at my level of disability.

She did not fight the in town clinic for me. She did not try to argue them around.

Her, repeating a suggestion she has made over and over since the closing announcement: You should just get your GP to do it.

Me, explaining for at least the third time because we have this conversation every time we talk: I asked my GP last spring like you asked. They can't do it. It can't be administered by a GP. They'd need to hire a specialist and build new facilities for compounding and for special storage of medication.

Her: Well just ask you GP to give you a different treatment.

Me: There are no other treatments. I have medications to manage symptoms. These treatments are the cure. There is only one cure.

Her: You are being recalcitrant!

Me: There is literally only one cure. No new ones have been invented since last February. The cure is working. I'm getting better. i will get worse again with only symptom management.

But she kept arguing with me because I was being stubborn about facts being facts. My GP can't pull an entire brand new treatment regimen out of her ass. She would not let it go or let me go and I was exhausted because it was hours past when I would normally be asleep at this point and also what was the point of her hard selling me on demanding the imaginary alternative treatment or the 120 mile trip. I ended up giving and and saying something like, "I have to go now," which I know is rude, but we spent this entire conversation with her neither listing not understanding and basically acting like I was the asshole here.

So I'm fucked and I'm frustrated and angry. I was literally at the point where I was going to get better really quickly if I kept doing treatments, but if we stop now I'll be back to square one with it all to do again if another clinic opens.

And it's all like this because Obama and Biden didn't have the balls to stick to their universal free healthy care guns and decided to adopt the capitalist give away Republican health plan in pursuit of bipartisan buy in they did not get, which anyone paying attention told them they could not get, which Mitch McConnell vowed they'd never get as part of the project to make Obama a one term president at all costs. They burned all their political capital on a bullshit give away to insurance companies when they could have taken the same or less of a hit just giving up a developed country level health care system. No fucked up website needed for sign ups. No red tape or copays or catch 22 shit like I'm dealing with now.

[sadgothicbitch]

hello! fellow hsu student here

if you're interested in learning more about the protest I reccomend checking out other news sources aside from lost coast, they are widely known as a sensationalist publication and their coverage is so-so. i know the lumberjack has a fairly detailed article up on their website about the occupation of siemens (and maybe published in the physical paper, but idk if you live on campus/in the area). the lumberjack instagram also has a lot of informational posts, and pal_actionus (also insta) is doing nationwide updates on the college protest encampments. crimethinc also has a good article with an attached communique from the protest

Hi,

yeah i’m aware that the lost coast can be iffy but when i made the post the lumberjack had yet to post the article online. i’ll edit it to give people access to the better article. i wanted to give people who had no idea about the protest one or two articles that would give a summary of what is happening. all the recourses you listed are great for people wanting to know more. i do live near campus and have been staying in the encampment. i wanted the post to be a introduction to people who might not know about the encampment. glad to hear from other students since this shit is important. might make another post that’s more in depth later. sorry for the rambling i’m typing on my phone on the floor of a school building lol

[acommonloon]

1st pic with my new iPhone taken more than 24hours after getting it. My new phone experience has mostly been bad. My main motivation for getting an iPhone was wanting a great phone camera and engaging the family hive mind aspect shared by the Apple family. My wife and two of my kids use them. However, at this point, if I could do it over, I’d simply get a high end Samsung.

The good: This pic is a masterpiece compared to what my old phone would produce and being able to track each other and each other’s devices is great. Many of the apps on my android phone ported over and all of those work fine. All the apps I had to manually download work fine as well. The phone’s battery is outstanding so far.

The bad: The cellular modem in our new phones suck!!! Even the WiFi modem is shit compared to my old Samsung A50 and her iPhone 12. I’m probably going to have to upgrade our home WiFi network but that still leaves me no fix for traveling in rural areas with weak cellular coverage. My A50 was a marvel at pulling in a signal. I have 1 bar sitting here at my house! Cellular signal was never a problem here before. I was excited to take advantage of Apple’s MagSafe technology that allows wireless charging combined with magnets that affix your phone to the charger. The idea is brilliant, the implementation is flawed for too many reasons to go into. Also, I’ll never buy a phone at Best Buy again.

Still, this pic was taken in fading light with no physical stabilization and the barn is 4 tenths of a mile away. Just wow.

[nekhcore]

I've been seeing the term diy hrt around, I've never heard of it before but I assume the name is self explanatory. Is it like where you make your own T or what? Is it cheaper than going through therapy and getting a diagnosis and prescription? Or is it something else entirely?If you have any resources on what it is exactly/how to safely start diy hrt could you answer with a short explanation or some links(preferebly within tumbler posts, I can't look anything up on this topic, otherwise I wouldn't have bothered you with this question).

Again sorry to bother you, hope you have a nice day.

Sincerely, a trans guy in serious need of HRT

Long answer, sorry…

DIY HRT is just a catch-all term for “not under supervision/guidance of a doctor”. The most well-known example of this is grey market estrogen bought online, but it can really look like anything. Using leftover patches of your friend, getting spare vials from a guy with a stockpile, buying HRT online… etc. Resources for trans guys who want to DIY are a bit harder to find because T has actual legal repercussions in most places.

In my case, I’m mostly taking the piss because a lot of people seem to think that if you take hormones without a doctor who has no fucking clue what they’re doing to shrug at you, you’ll fucking explode and die.

I’m a dual-citizen. In the States I have a prescription through Planned Parenthood, but where I actually live trans care is abysmal. We have a local group of transmascs who used to stock up abroad then distribute/sell T to the others who didn’t have a prescription. Nowadays though the T shortage in Europe isn’t as bad and our country isn’t as serious about restricting T, so I found a way to buy mine without a prescription.

Getting bloodwork privately and checking your own levels is pretty easy once you know what to ask for and know how to read your results. Big news: the labs don’t actually give a shit what the results say, they’re just going to give it to you. If a “woman” shows up and gets hormones tested and has male range T levels they’re not going to do jack shit about it because their job is just to test it and tell you. I’ve been doing my own bloodwork and adjusting my own dose based on my levels and how I feel for the last 2 years and I haven’t died horribly yet.

It’s not cheaper, unfortunately, because it’s all out of pocket. Insurance coverage would be really nice but I don’t want to risk having a transphobic doctor tell me what to do. (I wouldn’t listen)

The least blatantly illegal way I can think of DIYing is having a friend whose vials are prescribed single-use and sharing it. That way he’s not losing out, and you get to partake too. Where I live they sell ampoules, not vials, so you have to break them open to use them. Me and my best friend get together for shots sometimes to waste less by drawing up from the same ampoule, since we have to throw out whatever is left anyways. Nothing inherently dangerous about it as long as you’re all using sterile needles and syringes.

I have also seen cases where guys who suddenly switch to a different form of T (gel to injections or vice versa) and have some left over will give away their remainder to someone local.

If you’re in the States, I highly recommend trying Planned Parenthood or an informed consent clinic. I did my initial appointment over telehealth, signed some forms digitally, and had my prescription sent to the pharmacy of my choice the same day. It costed me like $170 without insurance. The prices vary regionally but you can try to ask for a price estimate if they offer gender services in your area.

If you lived in my city I would tell you to meet up with me in real and I’ll show you the pharmacy chain I go to and buy for you until you pass well enough to buy it yourself. Штета.

Dosing is easy. If you’re on cypionate or enthanate, those are weekly doses. You can start at 20-40mg a week and raise your dose little by little each week until you’re at a place you’re comfortable with or until you get the dose that works best for your body. It’s better to dose a little low than too high.

As for doing bloodwork? If private labs are easily accessible, ask for the following things: testosterone, estrogen (I do E2 estradiol), cholesterol, and hematocrit. Personally I get hormones, cholesterol, and a general blood test packet because it covers the rest. Make sure your hormones levels are in male range—look them up online if your results only show female ranges—and make sure your hematocrit and cholesterol aren’t getting too high either. Better to have slightly lower T levels and be healthy everywhere else than high T but also bad health elsewhere.

If money is an issue I get it. It’s not great for me either lol. I’ve had to delay my bloodwork for weeks because we get paid monthly and I didn’t have the $50 to spare for it, and I only just got a job that offers me any financial stability. Do what you can.

I’m sorry that I can’t give you resources on where exactly to acquire testosterone (and posting about them publicly risks getting them shut down, even if I did know) but I can advise you on how to care for yourself once you’ve gotten your hands on it.

[limelocked]

UN Security Council 15/11

Laddies and gentlefolk yesterday was another meeting of the UN Security Council since October 7th as pertains to the Israel-Palestine crisis. Previously I've liveblogged some of these but due to the lack of good coverage of just the absolute wild shit that the Israeli Representative says I've this time decided to condense it into one post.

Above the read more will be the key points, under will be my play by play commentary.

Note: All female representatives will be referred to as Mrs because if I don't know their names I also don't know their marital status, so they're all married to their respective countries.

GOOD NEWS FIRST! America is being ever swayed and has allowed the Malta backed bill to pass, the first to do so in all of these meetings. What this means is not a lot in terms of actual change via the resolution as language such as "demands" has allegedly been watered down to "calls for". The important part, as someone who has observed the council and known that the US has been hard line about language condemning Hamas having to be in the bill, is that this bill was passed without having such language.

O Russia asks to speak first; they are proposing an oral amendment to the resolution which adds a new paragraph calling for an "immediate, durable, and sustained humanitarian truce leading to a cessation of hostilities". Mr Russia asks the representative of the United States if them VETOing any resolution involving cessation of hostilities and striking such wording from the Maltese draft means that they are in favour of the war continuing on indefinitely. This amendment does not pass, 5 for 1 against 9 abstentions.

The voting on the resolution begins with Malta making its statement. O Mrs Malta talks about how the draft resolution aims to open humanitarian corridors, protect children, and give a respite from the conflict so that humanitarian actions as well as search and rescue operations can be conducted. Notable in the wording is that she says "[hostages] held by Hamas and other groups" which in theory could include Israel's illegally held Palestinian detainees taken from West Bank.

O United Arab Emirates makes their statement; Mrs UAE notes that outside of their building and in their region in particular the UN Security Council "appears indifferent to the carnage and dismissive of the suffering." Mrs UAE says that this draft resolution is the bare minimum of what the humanitarian workers on the ground have been asking for. Mrs UAE says that the draft resolution demands that all parties follow international law, she highlights that through this text the Security Council will reject the forced displacement of Palestinians. Mrs UAE finishes her statement by saying that the council must work towards a lasting humanitarian truce.

The vote for the resolution begins. 12 in favour, 0 against, 3 abstentions. Those abstaining are Russia (who likely abstained due to its amendment not passing), the UK (in support of the US), and the US (best friend of Israel).

O The US makes its statement; she bemoans the VETOs of the American resolution by China and Russia and thanks Malta for making this resolution. Mrs USA continues that she is horrified that members of the council still hasn't condemned Hamas. Mrs USA makes the claim that Hamas is using civilian infrastructure such as residential buildings, schools, mosques, and hospitals as military sites. She also furthers the claim that Hamas uses human shields. Mrs USA says that "Hamas' actions does not lessen Israel's responsibility to protect innocent people in Gaza." She says that the US does not want to see fire fights in hospitals, consistent with Biden and Blinken's statements yesterday. Mrs USA also notes that Palestinian voices must be at the centre of post-crisis governance in Gaza, a message to Israel that the USA will not support their occupation of the area.

O Gabon makes its statement; she starts her statement reiterating what their successful vote has won for the people on the ground and also notes that while the bill doesn't take into account some legitimate concerns it will undoubtedly be of help to the people most affected. Mrs Gabon's statement was short but concise, finishing with the call for further action in the future as to not "rest on our laurels" as well as reiterating both parties responsibilities under international law.

O The UK makes its statement; Mrs UK says that the UK has doubled its amount of aid. Mrs UK urges Strongly that there must be improved land access, including at Kerem Shalom. She regrets that the resolution couldn't clearly condemn Hamas and commends Malta for its work on the resolution.

O France is making its statement; Mr France keeps saying "Hamas and other terrorist groups" even when it was specifically about Oct 7th and I'm so confused by it that I'm including it in the keynotes. He says that "France deeply regrets that several essential messages are not included in this resolution" and that the council must continue its work towards a "broader expression" such as but not limiting to condemning Hamas, acknowledge Israel's right and duty to self-defence while respecting international humanitarian law, and calling for a lasting truce that could lead to a ceasefire.

O Ecuador makes their statement; Mr Ecuador while reiterating what is in the resolution adds additional context that the Secretary General should be required to make an oral report of the implementation of the resolution and identify monitoring options. He talks about how this resolution was for urgent problems and that the council will need to continue working. Mr Ecuador thanks Malta and certain members for their flexibility as to avoid a VETO.

O Japan makes their statement; Mr Japan reiterates what's said in the bill then thanks key diplomatic actors including the US. He also says that this resolution is just the beginning and the council must stay engaged, the goal being to avoid a spillover and creating stable peace in the region. Finishing with the council will need to keep in mind WPS (Woman, Peace and Security).

O Switzerland makes their statement; it's so short you could blink and miss it. She condemns Hamas and states her support for the resolution as well as intention to follow it.

O Mozambique makes their statement; Mr Mozambique agrees that this is a starting point but that the resolution does not address the fundamentals of the humanitarian crisis. He says that a ceasefire and return to diplomacy is the best immediate alternative. He finishes by lifting up the two state solution without directly naming it.

O Albania makes their statement; Mr Albania starts by talking about how the lengthy inaction of the Security Council has been particularly distressing. He does also say that they wanted a condemnation of Hamas in the resolution. Mr Albania furthers the claim that Hamas is directly responsible for the situation as well as the claim that Hamas uses human shields.

O Brazil makes their statement; Mr Brazil starts by saying that the situation was urgent since day one and heavily implies that the councils inaction has led to a loss of credibility. He reminds members that many resolutions have been previously proposed and VETOed as well as reminding the council of the General Assembly resolution where a majority of member states agreed to call for a ceasefire. Mr Brazil says that civilians now are paying for the systemic denial of Palestinians right to self-determination. Mr Brazil ends with a call for the two state solution and a pointed remark that their voice will be "strong and fearless in insisting on that."

O Russia makes their statement; Mr Russia explains that their reason for abstention was that they couldn't ignore the voices in the region "for some kind of humanitarian product" which seems like a mistranslation and if not, I'm confused. He continues talking about how the main deficiency of the bill is a lack of call for ceasefire. Mr Russia notes that within hours of the meeting last night the telecom of Gaza would go dark meaning that the outside world would no longer have any idea what's going on there. He stresses that humanitarian pauses cannot be a replacement for a ceasefire or even a truce. Mr Russia tells us that for the meeting the Palestinian delegation had circulated a letter demanding an immediate ceasefire. Mr Russia calls out the American delegation, get their ass. Mr Russia reminds the American delegation that if they wanted a resolution that condemned Hamas then they shouldn't have VETOed Brazils draft resolution which condemned the Oct 7th attack. Mr Russia makes it clear that the language was hollowed out, "calling for" rather than "demanding". Mr Russia makes Russia's concern clear over the implementation of the resolution on the ground, how the pauses will be decided, by who, and who will monitor them as well as how breaking this resolution will be punished. He mentions that he hopes that the Secretary General will take up this task. Mr Russia closes by wishing for further action by the council.

O The UAE makes their second statement; Mrs UAE begins by complementing everyone who negotiated and made compromises for this resolution, but also says that it's just the beginning. Mrs UAE mentions that even in areas where Hamas isn't operating Palestinians are still being killed, saying that the almost 200 killed in the West Bank have largely been under-reported. She says that Israel must cease attacks on civilian people and objects and adhere to international law. Mrs UAE reiterates the UAE's condemnation of the raid on Al-Shifa and other hospitals. Mrs UAE says that there have been more and more warnings that the two state solution is on its deathbed and that what emerges from the ruins of Gaza may be the last chance to save it. She also uses appropriate languages about the occupation, I just thought it was nice.

O China makes their statement; Mr President, in his capacity as Mr China, talks about how China voted for Russia's and Brazil's resolutions and again Malta's, saying that a more comprehensive and robust resolution should have been passed much earlier. Mr China vagues the American delegation for VETOing previous resolutions. Nevertheless he agrees that however small, this resolution is still positive. Mr China talks about the crimes being committed at Al-Shifa. Mr China agrees specifically with Mr Russia about the monitoring concerns that they have as to implementations of the resolution. He continues to call for a ceasefire and the opening of humanitarian spaces. Mr China also speaks on the future of Gaza having to be decided by the independent voices of Palestinians.

O Malta has requested to make a further statement; it's short, she thanks the members for passing the resolution and reaffirms Malta's commitment to the protection of civilians especially children.

WEEWOO ITS THE PARTIES INVOLVED!

First speaker is the permanent observer of Palestine and the second is the permanent representative of Israel.

O Palestine is making their statement; Mr Palestine begins appealing to empathy for the killed and wounded then says that all that is supposed to have been protected has become a primary target. Mr Palestine notifies the Security Council that the Foreign Minister of Israel rejected the resolution*** a few minutes before, saying that Israel will not implement it and will continue as they wish. Mr Palestine also reminds the council that the resolution did not condemn Israel's killing of 11,000 Palestinians as well as attacks on civilian objects, wrongful imprisonment of Palestinians, nor the killing of protected groups like journalists and medical staff. He asks if the UN has ever held Israel accountable for breaking international law in the past, and if they will hold it accountable for rejecting this meetings resolution. Mr Palestine calls for the bombs to stop so that lives can be saved, buildings rebuilt, and allow for the dead to be properly buried. He continues saying that these should not be words in a resolution but a reality on the ground. Mr Palestine finishing with a passionate bullet list. First saying that Israel is telling the council that it can kill Palestinians without being responsible for their death as they are either a terrorist, terrorist sympathiser, or human shield. Second saying that Israel considers all Palestinians terrorists, their factions, their Non-Governmental Organizations, their human rights defenders, and is acting accordingly. Thirdly saying that Israel is not under threat of destruction, that it is destroying Palestine and systematically against and undermines Palestinian rule anywhere. Fourth saying that it is now clear through public statements and leaked memos that it is the will of the current Israeli government to continue the dispossession, displacement, and denial of Palestinian peoples rights, to complete the Nakba that started in 1948. He closes by saying that it is time for peace.

O Israel makes their statement; NOTE: There is a new Mr Israel and in this meeting they are not wearing the controversial yellow stars, I believe that man got fired as hell. This new man says he will be brief. New Mr Israel commends the resolution for calling for the release of the hostages but says it will fall on the deaf ears of Hamas. New Mr Israel bemoans the lack of condemnation from the council of the Oct 7th attack and how the resolution focuses solely on the humanitarian situation in Gaza, the first time I believe an Israeli representative has acknowledge that such a situation exists. Mr Israel says that their mission is not about retaliation of revenge for Hamas' violence but for the eradication of Hamas and upholding Israel's right to self-defence. "Council members, Israel is a law-abiding democracy strictly operating in accordance with international law". Mr Israel says that Israel has already implemented daily tactical humanitarian pauses where "civilians can temporarily evacuate the active war zone" then claiming that Hamas kills Gazans as they are evacuating. Mr Israel tries to brag about the 1400 trucks of aid to a room full of people that know that 500 trucks used to enter Gaza daily before the conflict started. He then claims that Hamas is hoarding essential resources and keeping civilians in hospitals in northern Gaza to be used as human shields. Mr Israel claims that Israel has supplied incubators and medical supplies to Al-Shifa hospital. Mr Israel claims* that the IDF hand delivered 300 litres of fuel to Al-Shifa. He claims that Israel is doing everything possible to improve the humanitarian situation in Gaza. Mr Israel claims that it's Hamas' intention to make the humanitarian situation in Gaza worse so that it can broadcast Palestinian hardships to the world and tie Israel's hands (???). He says that Hamas is solely responsible for the situation in Gaza and is weaponizing it to prevent Israel from defending itself, this seems like an oxymoron to me. "Israel always adheres to international law. Hamas, the party that refused to accept this resolution** will not even bother reading it" **please note the previously uncooperative nature of the Israeli Foreign Ministry***. He finishes by saying that if Hamas released all the captives now then the war would stop.

That is the end of the UN Security Council meeting!

russia in its amendment speech talks about how the wording should be familiar since its like the general assembly resolution that passed with flying colors last month

mr russia throwing shade at the un saying that unless its amended wording is included it may seem like its happy to include "israels provision at its own discretion of humanitarian pauses" then throwing shade at america for vetoing a bunch and alleges that it struck out all mention of a ceasefire from the maltese draft

mr russia says that not calling for a ceasefire is the lowest the un security council can fall, especially considering the storming of the al-shifa hospital which is so correct of him actually

"our duty is to save the lives of people who have a lethal threat hanging over them" go off my little hypocrit!

mrs malta goes Hard on the empathy for children angle

mrs uae took one breath, thanked the president, and then SLAMMED the un security council into the ground for not being able to do shit for 40 fucking days no mercy, and then CONTINUED throwing rightful shade until it came to talking about malta who is getting so much, again rightful, praise for its fucking backbreaking work trying to make literally Anything happen

do i acknowledge that russia is looking kinda childish by abstaining after its amendment didnt pass? yes. do i also fully understand why russia did it in this specific situation what with the "you cant go lower than calling for a ceasefire thats the bare minimum" part of his speech? yea i get it. i do also believe that russia usually does this

americas turn oh no

AMERICA STARTING OUT STRONG WITH TALKING ABOUT THE PUBLICS FRUSTRATION AT THE COUNCILS INACCTION BITCH WHOS FAULT IS THAT INACTION BRUH

not her calling the us and canada backed resolution strong and balanced dude leave the council im begging

america leaning hard on israels side now, they might have let this thing pass but on my heart in previous meetings theyve been neutral to hostile towards hamas and now theyre flirting with the israeli reps rhetoric, mrs usa saying that hamas is determined to kill jews, a claim that i dont remember america having made in the past council meetings ive watched, theyve made the using civilian infrastructure claim i believe tho

i took a prolonged break in the middle of mrs usas speech cuz i was interested in what designates a group as terrorists, a question i got no answer to, then looking up the definition of terrorism and its history only to find out that it came from the french revolution so like congrats france on being a state founded on the Original Terrorism TM, also that the definition of terrorism is so vague and up for debate that america using it to almost exclusively mean muslims and or arabs and or anti american groups in the middle east sure is fucking convenient

i also took a second prolonged break in which i looked up the 1988 hamas charter which ive not finished reading yet but i was looking for the annihilation of the jews part that zionists like to go on about even tho hamas changed their charter in 2017 and as of yet ive not found anything but i was thinking a lot of what i Have read is about how islam is the basis of the charter and seen as law and like... islam and judaism is compatible isnt it? from what i know of history and what im reading like islam has been so much better to jewish people than christianity has been which isnt a high bar to clear but still, like islam is wild if you grew up in a majority christian country cuz islam considers jesus a prophet just not a son of god from what im reading like islam really is the third child of the abrahamic religions

back to the show

mrs usa comes out kicking with both parties should follow international law, this is especially so for israel considering that shes claiming that hamas is in civilian places, her comment about hamas' actions not lessening israels responsibility is actually interesting because it feels to me that israel is gradually losing more and more american support due to protests at home

"unrwa workers caught in the crossfire" ma'am theres no cross to the fire, its a straight line from an american gun to unrwa workers body

i think this every meeting but the reps are so brave for not making faces when people say some bullshit

i think i fucked myself over because now every time one of these reps say that a post-crisis palestine should be goverened under a two state solution by the palestinian authority i think like... not only does the two state solution suck ass and is at Best a stop gap, but also like they need abbas Gone they need a new presidential election At Least, dude its been 18 years, i fucked myself so bad by reading about hamas taking over gaza and fatah arguably doing a coup

new gabon rep, her outfit is very cute

god mrs uk speed up buddy youre talking so fucking slowly

mrs uk mentioning their pm like bro i have lost all respect for rishi, my buddy ol pal rishi sunak the unelected buffoon oh the places youve taken the tory party

interesting language from mrs uk as she only mentions israeli hostages in a bill which says release of hostages from hamas and other parties

im really not liking the dehumanising language used in this council like broseph there are better words than barbaric, have you tried terrible? horrific? barbaric others the group its used upon and brands then as lesser than, as barbarians to our blessed civilised people, i think thus far its been the us uk and france which is not surprising at all, gabon might also have said it but i forgor

mr france really bringing up their nov 9th conference again like look at us being the goodest boy dont worry about how we banned pro palestinian protests :)

mr ecuadors translator is doing his fucking best

japan also comes out swinging with for 6 weeks nothing was getting fucking done

whoever wrote mr japans speech is a sadist, "disproportionately" is the worst word ever

if looks could kill this guy behind mr japan would have my blood on his hands he is just Starin up a storm!

mrs switzerland talking about the "appalling conditions" the hamas captives are under like 1 have we gotten actual info about the conditions other than that one released captive or 2 do you mean the conditions created and exasperated by israels continuous bombardment of gaza?

mr albania takes no prisoners as he starts with a reminder that the protection of civilians is the purpose of the security council and that to any civilian suffering in the council cant sit idle.. YET HERE WE ARE, very cool of him

we love you mr brazil for mentioning al-shifa like on god mr brazil is so cool and sexy he always has good takes

taking another long break to eat and remedy my bitchass cold

russia my beloved hypocrit why must you make me so conflicted in my positive feelings concerning your foreign affairs, mr russia also mentions the storming of al-shifa and like i guess it takes one to know one on the war crimes but at least Someone in government knows

mr russia really holding no punches saying that the "delegation of the united states has sabotaged any attempts to develop a balanced and depoliticized document aimed at adopting realistic and urgent steps to deescalate the situation" which he is so fucking right for

im writing a lot for russia and its because they have a lot to say, im no doubt gonna be writing a ton for israel too

as im watching mrs uae speak i am once again thinking about how few members there is of the security council and how 5 of 15 spots are taken up by russia china and The West TM, that the only voice from the region on the current council Is the uae against countries that have explicit interests in the oil and not human lives that live there, syria was the only member in the region during 2001-2002 aka 9/11 aftermath and its not until qatar joins in 2005 that another country of the region is elected

a lot of mr palestine will be here because i love him

"the security council should have called for a ceasefire long ago, it should have called for a ceasefire now" go off mr palestine

go grandpa go! call out their asses for their blatant fucking racist propaganda mocking palestinians inteligence

"we are committed to all these rules, but do they apply to israel?" now mr israel youve caught yourself in a bit of a trap here because youve said a good point and thats your first offence for the israeli rep and second youve spoken in a manner which could give your opponents the idea that you speak for hamas which, hamas having a delegation wouldve been good, but i dont believe you are so affiliated mr palestine for if you had then the council would have kicked you the fuck out

"you have been calling on israel now for 40 days to uphold the laws of war and it has chosen to continue breaching them openly and brazenly. i should even say that you have been demanding from israel to respect international law for decades and it has dismissed your calls and continued its crimes against the palestinian people. did you ever hold it accountable? are you going to hold it accountable for rejecting your resolution you adopted this afternoon?" mr palestine your speeches are literally spun gold

"god sent them rain while you were still trying to get israel to let fuel in to allow water pumps to function" get their ass

new mr israel saying he will be brief is the saddest thing he could ever have done to me, for israels pr this new man must be a godsend considering the wild shit the last mr israel said, but for me who has spent most of the day writing this post it is a travesty

i spent so much time looking for a source on mr israels claim that hamas has said it would commit a second october 7th attack so congrats fuckers you get the source now as well sharing is caring

listening to new mr israel talk about the resolution falling on deaf ears for hamas and how hamas wont care for it really do hit different after hearing from mr palesting that israel just refused the resolution like broseph perhaps it is your ears mr israel which are deaf***

"weve called for the evacuation of hospitals in northern gaza" he says as if thats a normal thing to do, as if thats a moral thing to do and not a threat of violence

the medical supplies and those pictures have been talked about to hell and back, the main one i saw was about how its sus that they have all this stuff on the ground but no pictures of them giving it to anyone all while there are videos of scared gazans sheltering from the occupation, but like i looked at the picture and just... its the MEDICAL SUPPLIES in big bold english letters on aid packages going to an arabic speaking people that does it for me, its the fact that i was looking at pictures of other aid deliveries into gaza and how they looked nothing alike

from what we're hearing from al jazeeras correspondence before the blackout the idf seems to be based in the departments that would like Have the incubators so mr israels claims that they were given and the videos/photos proving that may just be them moving the incubators already there

.* sorry the footnote is all the way down here, basically the IDF has actually made this claim along with the claim that the health ministry would not take it, in an interview the director of al shifa said that they got the offer but couldnt take it due to security risks (obviously, israel bombs safe spaces whats to say they wont do funny business with the fuel) as well as the amount being only enough to run for less than an hour. he also said that fuel needs to be delivered thru the red cross (source: a wall street journal article im just Barely able to read before getting paywalled) this offer was also made 4 days ago and via al jazeera is saying now theres been no fuel

.*** hi its me footnote three, so i believe that this is the statement in question made by the spokesman for the foreign ministry and it sounds much more tame than what youd expect from what mr palestine was saying, i do wonder tho how they expect the hostages to be transported under bombardment? i cant find anything from eli cohen himself so this is the best i can give you

mr israel claiming that if hamas gave them back the hostages the war would be done is very interesting to me considering how fucking Nice hamas are being even continuing the negotiations after the attack of al shifa, like that seems like it would be a hard line for ANYONE, attacking al shifa is like the Biggest show of bad faith a group could do, like its a fucking hospital man?! at that point i wouldve left the negotiating table entirely because it means that the opponent does not consider life to be as sacred as he says he does

like imagine if america had... wait doesnt it technically have hostages in gitmo? anyways please think of american hostages and america negotiating with whoever it took the people from and those people bombed the largest hospital in new york, you think the us is gonna continue those fucking talks?? i for sure dont!

[awhitewyvern]

I know we all give tumblr shit and it deserves most of it, but this site has never worsened my mental state about the world or encouraged me to act like in idiot in public for internet clout. There's no one picking apart my appearance, no over consumption pressure, and brainwashing.

There's no algorithm!!! I can control what I see and who I listen to, and I've found so many cool people! Just doing their thing, Showing off cool shit they like! Cool shit they made or did! Insane artists and writers who water the soul! People trying to spread accurate news coverage in disaster/war stricken areas! Beacons of humanity all over, brought together on this blogging site using Word of mouth to build a vastly diverse community. Granted there's the psychic damage of receiving world events through a destiel meme and crabs, but the point is. As much as I have hated tumblr in the past. I'm probably going down with this ship and it's crew till it crashes and burns gently into the night.

i don’t know about you guys but the main reason i am still on tumblr in 2024 is BECAUSE it is the most cloutless least influential social media app out there and that is the experience i am after. absolutely none of this will ever translate into significant attention or real success in my life and that is so beautiful.

[casspurrjoybell-17]

Hart and Hunter - Chapter 22 - Part 2

*Warning Adult Content*

Dane Hunter

If I didn't know what awaited us, it would have been a pleasant drive.

Early morning sunlight streams through the boughs of the tall, evenly spaced pines, little chipmunks and ground squirrels scamper through the underbrush and birds flit among the trees.

Picnic tables dot the landscape and I catch a glimpse of blue water up ahead. 

As we near the boating area, I also see the first signs of something amiss... flashing lights in the open parking area near the boat ramp and a row of official vehicles lining the side of the road. 

Pulling up behind a car bearing the marks of the sheriff's department, I take stock of who's here and who's not.

It's an eclectic mix of sheriff's deputies, fire personnel, parks services and few unmarked vehicles... some of which I recognize. 

"No sign of the coroner," I murmur.

"He's either not here yet or he's been and gone but my money's on the former." 

"Looks like the sheriff's here in person."

Julian points to a large, shiny SUV blocking the road up ahead.

It's bigger and fancier than the rest and has 'sheriff' written on the side in red and gold lettering.

"Is that usual?" 

"Not for a department this size but that's Randall Walker for you. If there's a chance of press coverage, he'll want to be sure he gets his mug in the shot." 

I get out and slam the door shut after me, not bothering to lock it with the forest full of law enforcement.

Circling around to Julian's side, I hear the echoes of a heated argument filtering through the trees. 

"Sounds like Coleridge is here, too," Julian remarks mildly and points. 

I follow the direction of his gaze and see the source of the commotion up ahead.

Near a picnic bench at the edge of the pines, Coleridge faces off against a large, balding man wearing a khaki uniform with a shiny, star-shaped badge pinned to the chest.

Sheriff Walker clutches a brown fedora in one hand and gestures angrily with the other as he shouts. 

Coleridge is having none of it and shouts right back at him.

As we draw closer, I make out her words. 

"The most irresponsible, unethical, unprofessional, fucking shit-headed thing to do." 

Walker's face is red with fury as he jabs a finger at Coleridge's chest.

"Now, see here, you meddlesome bitch. This is my investigation and I'll run it however I damn well see fit. You've got no right to barge in here and tell me..."

"I'll tell you where you can shove your investigation," Coleridge snaps.

"And I'm telling you this isn't an accident or a suicide, Walker. It's not a photo-op either. That young woman was murdered and you better pray to the God of shady politics her family doesn't see that headline before your cowboys deliver the news properly. If they do, you can sure as hell kiss your chance at re-election goodbye." 

"Chief," I call in greeting as the distance between us closes.

She looks up and frowns but some of the raw anger leaves her face, tempered by a friendlier expression. 

"Hart. Hunter. What are you two doing here?" 

"Saw the headline," I say. 

"Shit," she says, running a hand over her greying hair and sighs. 

"I take it collaboration is off the table?" 

Scowling, she turns to look after the sheriff and his posse. 

"Walker's a son of a bitch but he's not a fool. He's allowing us to 'shadow' his 'operation' because he knows his team isn't equipped for something like this. He wants the credit and the glory and I don't want evidence lost or mishandled. So, in a perverse way, our interests align. Problem is, he needs to look and feel like he's in charge all the time."

She sighs.

"This is why we need a centralized homicide unit. Get the fucking egos out of the way." 

"I remember the last time you proposed that. Made for one hell of a town hall meeting." 

She laughs, though it's a rough, humorless sound.

Then she turns to Julian and her expression shifts.

I'd almost call it 'motherly' if I didn't know better. 

"Hart, you alright?" 

Julian crosses his arms and huffs.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" 

"Because you look like shit," Coleridge says before I can come up with a more diplomatic answer.

"And because I know you got history with this place." 

His eyes go wide.

"You do?" 

"Yeah. You think I don't do thorough background checks on consultants? Especially the ones who claim to be psychic. Your father took his own life here." 

I bristle at her bluntness, ready to step between my mate and the threat of harm but Julian speaks for himself. 

"It's complicated," he says.

"But yeah, he died after jumping from the dam." 

She chews her bottom lip.

"Are you up for it? You want to read the body, right?" 

Julian and I exchange looks.

"There's a chance I might pick up something important. So, yeah... I'd like to try," he says and Coleridge nods. 

"Good. Come with me. Halloran and Vasquez are down there already, trying to manage the scene. I hate to speak ill of other law enforcement but honestly, it's like herding cats." 

She leads the way towards the lake and we emerge from the trees into a wide, paved area filled with a haphazard collection of emergency vehicles and roaming personnel. 

The boat ramp is a long slab of ribbed concrete that descends beneath the water, with an old wooden dock stretched alongside.

Beyond this, the lake lies blue and serene beneath the morning sky, its surface as yet undisturbed by the wind and waves that build throughout the day. 

Several hundred yards to the west, the curve of the dam bends the water in an artificially smooth arc, on the other side of which is a precipitous and deadly drop. 

I look at Julian but his attention is elsewhere.

To our right, a black plastic screen has been erected around a spot further down the rocky shoreline.

Beside it, Halloran and Vasquez stand side by side, arguing with a couple of deputies. 

Coleridge sighs.

"Leave this to me. You ready?" 

Julian nods, his mouth set in a determined line. 

With some misgivings and still half hoping I can somehow shield him from whatever awaits us, I follow him towards the scene.