#hatchetfield-humanologist

[agent-carvour]

Hello, O! I know something you don’t know!

I told Axel a bit, Wilbur some more, with you, that’s almost four!

- @hatchetfield-humanologist

Tell me everything.

[agent-black-heart]

Hello Axel! I’ve heard a lot about you, you’re awful fascinating…

- @hatchetfield-humanologist

Thanks?

[tedspankoffskifan42069]

Hey Tinky! Listen I’m doing an experiment on the human pain response and I was wondering if I could borrow one of your Spankoffkis to test on? They wouldn’t be permanently damaged, and you could watch.

- @hatchetfield-humanologist

hnghhhhhhh as much as i hate people touching my spankoffskis sure but as long as i can watch

[theladyinablack]

@hatchetfield-humanologist hey is it normal for humans to get sick while they're in the Black and White. The human in question was already ghost/reanimated corpse when he got here btw

[hatchet-bakery]

Do you trade for food in money or in goods and services? I’m interested in trying some baked goods but I still do not understand currency, so goods and services would be preferred

- @hatchetfield-humanologist

Well, I do tend to have a few things set aside for people who need food but can’t pay for it, so you don’t need to worry about anything!!

It’s mostly bread, some muffins and small cakes, a few brownies, and some cookies!

[miss-retro-1980]

There’s one glaring loophole in the deal that might just benefit John, if you’re interested, that is.

- @hatchetfield-humanologist

What's your point?

[melissalovskitties]

OH MY GOD YOURE THE PERSON WHO KEEPS TAKING “CATS”

Please go to a certified researcher in this field to make sure that your pets are being kept healthily. i have experience in this field if you have no one else to ask. but please make sure you go to someone to ensure you have a proper routine in place

- @hatchetfield-humanologist

All of my pets are healthy!!! One of my friends is a vet and she really helps me, so I don't think it may be necessary to go with someone else!! ^>.<^

[askthelordsinblack]

I’m getting desperate for job security. any of y’all want a sniggle who will have a PHD in interdimensional studies by the time she begins work?

- @hatchetfield-humanologist

Actually, y—

Me!! Mememe, I havent had sniggeles insoooo long butnow I’m like. Not gettibg savrfices or causujg asmch chaos as I usedto.

[ted-spankoffski69]

If anyone else kills you this month I’ll kick their ass, you’ve had enough for a while.

Plus, it’s not fun to study upset people, so these assholes are messing with my data too

- @hatchetfield-humanologist

th-thankyou

dontwannadienotagainnotagainnoatagain

[watcher-world-attendee]

I’ve heard horror stories from watcher world vets, blink twice if you need help-

wait shit you can’t do that

- @hatchetfield-humanologist

I do believe that would be the swift end of my life and career.. Though if you do your job, it isn't as bad as it's made out to be.

[max-jagerman-asks]

Max don’t listen to the green Wiley

👏 You 👏 Are 👏 Being 👏 Manipulated 👏

- @hatchetfield-humanologist

Hmmm I don’t know

[agent-carvour]

I was running some cleanup shit and I just thought it was important to tell you, that vaccine was made in the equivalent of a human meth lab, so there might be some weird shit happening. I definitely don’t make certain substances unfit for human consumption using the same equipment.

I cleaned it before this shit, I’m not an idiot, but cross contamination isn’t an impossibility. Based on what I make, the two most noticeable side effects would be:

1) inability to eat without the subject’s body expelling it later and/or total lack of hunger

2) non-human blood in either color or texture. the same can go for tears

There shouldn’t be anything, but I’d have to list these risks anyways for the paper, may as well warn you about them too.

@hatchetfield-humanologist

Yes, I suspected there could be side effects.

Is there a treatment for any of them, should they occur?

[agent-black-heart]

You and Wiley really should compare notes! I gave you both a half a solution, so you should have about 75% of one if you talk!

- @hatchetfield-humanologist

Thank you vampire lady! Oh fuck I should probably check on him soon anyways- Did you also take his blood for information??

[tedspankoffskifan42069]

Are you the one influencing/possessing Peter? I have a feeling it’s a Tinky and I’m trying to narrow it down from there

- @hatchetfield-humanologist

WHAT?! NO?! WHOS FUCKING WITH MY SPANKOFFSKIS IM GONNA KILL THEM.

[thesantos-gottadoit]

This is arguably the funniest situation I’ve seen all day. I’m going to send Agent Curt Mega after you

- @hatchetfield-humanologist

Sergio looked excited. Betty looked very concerned.

Isn't he dead by now? And...why? We haven't done anything illegal here yet!

That's the part that makes it good songbird! We're home free already! Imagine meeting The Curt Mega without worrying about being arrested!

He has stars in his eyes.

[alexandra-foster]

What is a weed and do you know where I can buy one? I asked someone what you were doing outside the store and they said you were “smoking weed”.

- @hatchetfield-humanologist

weed is a plant but you'll have to find it yourself im not a snitch