#hate how the river tempts me whenever it’s cold enough to kill me instantly
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lmaooo the high is 7 degrees today and people keep messaging me like “omg I hope you’re ok don’t get too cold 😭🥺 uwu” yeah I’m not ok and it is extremely cold and also everything else is bad but thanks anyway
#I live in a trailer with no power there is One (1) way winter goes for me#why even message. like. yes. it’s fuckin cold. are you surprised.#love how my bank account overdrafts every single time I nearly catch up to payments keeping me in an eternal cycle of poverty#love how for months my teeth have hurt extremely whenever I drink water that’s below room temperature but I literally cannot take care of it#love how when I finally see my good for nothing relatives in a few day’s they’ll mock my misfortune and degrading appearance#love how there’s a nowhere to go but this frozen fucking box because it’s only colder out there#love how my body and mind crumble every day before me and life’s opportunities degrade with them#love how the ringing in my ears and aches in my hands only get worse month by month with god knowing when I won’t be able to take it anymore#i died before there was ever a fucking beginning#but god won’t let me kill myself#hate how the river tempts me whenever it’s cold enough to kill me instantly#happy FUCKING holidays#….would you believe I was looking forward to Christmas this year? that feels like a while ago now
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