#have never once listened to a my chem song and went ah yes I think the moral is suicide is the answer here

[xxc4rt3rxx]

The fact that my chem had ( honestly still has to some ppl) the reputation of being a like suicide death cult is so wacky in retrospect. Like idk I was a literal actual child during my chems height of popularity in the early 2000s and 2010s and even I remember ppl being like “ hide your children from the emos they will turn them gay and give them depression” and like HUHHH. Like that was a thing!! It’s kinda a joke now but it was fucking real??! What the hell were ppl on?

[the-space-above-the-stars]

he said, she said

lee jeno x reader

Summary: You like Jeno. Jeno likes you. You think Jeno likes your best friend Aisha. Jeno thinks you like Jaemin. Aisha and Jaemin think the both of you are idiots. 

Warnings: none!

Word Count: 3K

Genre: pure, stupid fluff

Pairing: jeno x reader, friends to lovers!au

***

Ever since primary school, it seems like it had been the four of you. You and your best friend Aisha had met Jaemin and Jeno, another pair of best friends, and you all just kind of melded into this quartet, proving inseparable throughout high school. 

And somewhere, at some undetectable point in your journey, you had decided to be a clown had caught feelings for Jeno. At first, you were certain that it was just a short crush, a brief infatuation with the smiley-eyed boy that would go away, but time passed, you hit double digits, you went off to high school, and even then, even now, your heart still somersaults anytime you think about him. 

A few years ago, you had even thought about confessing, having a wild notion that there was a possibility that Jeno returned your feelings, but then you heard some schoolyard gossip that stopped you in your tracks. 

“I heard Jeno likes Aisha! Yeah, I even saw him giving her his jacket yesterday!” 

And that gossip worked as a catalyst, your fickle middle-school mind overworking the words in your mind and using them to overanalyze every interaction that Jeno and Aisha had from then, and you drew the conclusion that yeah, he did like her. After all, you were one of the people that knew him the best, and if you couldn’t trust your own gut...

So you backed off. You knew Aisha wasn’t interested in Jeno, but there was still no way in hell that you were going to confess when you knew you would be rejected, and possibly ruin your friendship. 

***

Aisha sat in the cafeteria, uninterested in the food that was slowly growing cold in her tray. Her chin rested in her palm and she tapped her fingers against her cheek, squinting at the two people in the lunch line on the other side of the room. “Hey Aisha-” Jaemin greeted her, only to be met with a glare and a hush. “Who’re you watching?” He asked, his eyebrow raised as he sat next to her, sneaking fries off her tray. 

“Jeno and Y/N,” she sighed, nodding to where the two were moving through the lunch line together. Jeno, first in the line, reached forward for the next food option, tater tots, and dropped some first into Y/N’s tray, and then some into his. “Look, he doesn’t even like the tater tots, but he always takes some so Y/N can take them off his tray.” 

“Ah yes,” Jaemin sighed, french fries being forgotten as he understood his friend’s predicament. “The crippling saga of When Will Our Oblivious Best Friends Get Together continues.” 

“It doesn’t make sense!” Aisha gestured wildly at the two. “There is literally nothing that should be stopping them from dating! Their families love each other, they’re good friends, they both like each other, so why the fuck can’t they just get together?” 

“Who can’t get together?” You asked, smiling at Jeno as he used his foot to pull your chair out for you. Aisha glares at Jaemin once again. 

“Uh- why Monica and Chandler can’t get together, on FRIENDS,” Jaemin stuttered.

Jeno raised an eyebrow, pulling his plastic fork from the packaging. “But- Monica and Chandler are together?” 

“Dude! Spoiler alert! So anyway, you guys doing anything after school?” You and Jeno looked at him with confusion, then at Aisha, but she had on her impeccable poker face, so the two of you just looked at each other and shrugged. 

“Uh, I’m tutoring Jeno for the chem test.” 

“Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, can you wait for like 10 minutes in the library? Coach told us he needs to talk to us about captains after practice today.” 

“Yeah sure, just meet me there. What about you two?” You smile as you nod at Aisha and Jaemin, using a fork to pick a tater tot off of Jeno’s tray. 

“Nothing much,” Aisha shrugged. “We’ve just got a project we need to work on.” 

“What pro-” Jaemin started, cutting himself off with a cough when Aisha pinched him from under the table. “Oh right, that project, I remember now.” 

Jeno raised an eyebrow, eyes darting between the two, but shrugged and went back to eating, transferring the rest of his tater tots to your tray. Jaemin looked at Aisha, but she mouthed “After lunch” to him.

***

“Okay, so either I have amnesia and we got assigned a project, or you were lying in there,” Jaemin dropped his lunch tray off, following Aisha into the hall. 

“Well, we technically do have a project. Just not for school. I’m initiating Project Get Our Dumbass Friends Together.” 

“Oh thank god,” Jaemin sighed as the bell rang, the two of them continuing to talk as they headed to class. “I thought we actually had to do schoolwork. So what’s the first step, Captain?” 

“Recon,” Aisha shrugged, the two of them slipping into their seats in Chemistry, lowering her voice to a whisper. “We talk to Jeno and Y/N separately and we figure out what’s stopping them from getting together, apart from the obvious.” 

“What’s obvious?” Jaemin whispered, trying to not get in trouble with Miss Lin, who hated his guts. 

“They’re both pussies.” 

***

After the final bell rang, Jaemin set off for the library, his work set out for him. Aisha was gonna talk to Jeno when he got out of basketball practice, which left him with you. The librarian glared at him as he walked in, pointing her pen on the “no food or drink” sign. The old bat’s memory apparently hadn’t begun to fail her. Holding his hands up in defense, he walked past her to where you sat, earbuds in and head buried in some book. “What’s shaking?” You jumped as he tapped her shoulder, falling into the seat next to you. 

“Jesus Christ Nana, give me some warning next time,” You sighed, rolling your eyes. “What’re you doing here, don’t you have to work with Aisha?” 

“Oh yeah, we uh, we actually got most of it done in Study Hall. And so I was walking by the library and who do I see but my favorite person to bug, Y/N Y/L/N,” 

“You’re such a pest.” 

“A loveable pest.” He coughed, not sure how to transition into the topic. “So you like Jeno, huh?” Your eyes widened, and you turned to look at him so fast he’s sure that he gave you whiplash. 

Well, that would work. 

“W-What?” You stutter, face reddening as you look down at your book. “You’re crazy Na. Me? Like Jeno? As if.” 

“Yes, I predicted that you’d react like this, so I’m just gonna get to it. Y/N/N, everyone can see the way you look at Jeno. Well, everyone but him, but that’s not the point. You guys practically do everything together, you’re tutoring him for Chemistry on a Friday night, for fucks sake and so help me if you don’t confess I’ll start singing right here, right now-” You cut him off by slapping a hand over his mouth, your face a furious shade of red. “So?” His voice came out muffled and you groaned, removing your hand. 

“Okay, okay, I like Jeno, okay? You can’t tell ANYONE.” 

“Why not! You guys would literally be the BEST couple-” 

“He doesn’t like me, Jaemin.” That took him a bit by surprise. “I’m not gonna ruin everything on a whim that he might feel the same.” 

“What the fuck do-” The librarian shushed him aggressively, and he continued in a whisper. “What do you mean he doesn’t like you?” 

“He likes Aisha, Jaemin.” 

***

Aisha tapped her foot to the beat of the song she was listening to through her earbuds, leaning against the wall outside the gym as she waited for Jeno. Her last class of the day was closer, so she had volunteered to interrogate him.

They were heading into their senior year of high school and it was frustrating to see that you and Jeno, two people that have had feelings for each other since forever, still hadn’t managed to put two and two together and start dating. She was doing this not just to get them together, but also she was curious to see what was stopping them. 

The doors to the gym opened and the basketball team started filing out, changed back into their daily clothes with their gym bags over their shoulders. Jeno was near the back talking to Chenle. “Hey, Jeno!” She called out to him, waving him over. His head perked up and he smiled at her, saying bye to Chenle and walking over. “I need to talk to you.” 

“Uh, I really need to get to the library, is this gonna be a long talk?” 

“Actually, we can talk on the way.” Pulling him by the sleeve, she started walking to the library. “So you’ve liked Y/N since forever, and I know that-” 

“Wait, wait wait-” Jeno looked around to make sure no one was around, looking at Aisha like she was crazy. “What do you mean I like Y/N?” 

“You’ve liked her since she pulled the fire alarm to get you and Jaemin out of detention on your birthday so we could all go celebrate. Am I wrong?” Jeno opened and closed his mouth, but no noise came out. Aisha shrugged and kept walking. “Didn’t think so?” 

“Wait- what, how’d you find out?” 

“You’re not too subtle, you know? The only person who apparently doesn’t know you like Y/N is, well Y/N herself. So tell me, Troy Bolton, why aren’t you confessing?” 

“I’m not gonna ruin our friendship just because of some stupid feelings,” Jeno huffed. “If keeping everything to myself means we can stay friends, then I’ll gladly never tell her.” 

“You’re actually so stupid. You’ve known the girl for over a decade and you’re this oblivious about the way she feels? Do you think she’d do the shit she does for you for other people, Jeno? Staying after school on a FRIDAY NIGHT to tutor you, when you damn well know that you guys could do this over FaceTime? Pulling the fire alarm? Y/N likes you, dumbass!” 

Jeno looked at Aisha like she was crazy. “No, she doesn’t. She likes Jaemin, Aisha.” 

***

Jaemin met Aisha outside of the library after Jeno went inside. “So what’d you learn?” He asked as the two watched Jeno walk up to you. Smiling, he put his head on your shoulder and said something, making you jump. Scowling, you hit him with a book. 

“Jeno thinks Y/N likes you.” 

“Oh shit, that’s crazy. Y/N thinks Jeno likes you.” 

“Dumbasses,” they sighed at the same time, looking at each other. “So what do we do know?” Jaemin questioned, following Aisha as she walked away from the library. 

“I mean, I guess we can set them up in some sort of elaborate blind date,” Aisha suggested. “We tell them both we have someone we want to set them up with, and then we just leave them together. Something’s bound to happen.” 

“Or we could do the simpler way and just lock them in a closet,” Jaemin suggested, shrugging as they walked out of the school. 

“What is this?” Aisha wrinkled her nose at his suggestion. “A fanfiction? Knowing them, they’d just sit in silence until we let them out.” Jaemin opened his mouth to argue, then closed it and shrugged, nodding in agreement. “Come on, Nana, Step 2 of Project Get Our Dumbass Friends Together has begun.” 

***

You hit Jeno with her book. “First, Jaemin scares me, then you? What is this, Terrorize Y/N Day?” Jeno fell into the chair next to her, trying to stifle his laughter, and her scowl faded away. She couldn’t stay mad at him, unfortunately. 

“So um, why was Jaemin scaring you?” Jeno coughed as he stopped laughing, pausing as he reached for his textbook to ask. 

You turned red, remembering Jaemin’s speculations and shook her head. “He sat me sitting alone and just stopped by to annoy me, is there any other reason for Jaemin?” Jeno just pursed his lips and nodded. You could tell something was bugging him, but you just couldn’t tell what. “So um, what were you having trouble with, exactly?” 

“Uh, everything?” Jeno blushed, scratching the back of his head and you laughed, hiding your smile behind the sleeve of your sweater. Jeno smiled. He loved your smile.

As the evening wore on and you kept talking about polar bonds and balancing equations and Lewis Structures, you couldn’t help but notice that Jeno was staring at you. Not looking, which would have the rational explanation that he was dozing off and staring off at nothing, this was full-on staring. His eyes flickered from your own to the strands of hair curling behind your ear to your lips- “What is it?” You asked, taking him by surprise. “Is there something on my face?”

“No, there’s nothing!” He stuck his hands up in defense. “I’m just thinking of something Aisha told me on the way here.”

Ouch. You purse your lips, avoiding his eyes and looking back at the textbook. “You and Aisha walked here together?”

“Yeah, she had to talk to me about something, uh where were we?”

“Molar mass,” you mumbled, that tiny bit of hope continuing to crumble away. At the end of the evening, they packed up and Jeno offered to give you a ride. Most of it was spent in silence, which was rare between the two, but granted they did have a lot to think about. “So what did Aisha want to talk to you about?” you asked, turning your attention from your fraying jeans to your friend.

Jeno ribbed the back of his head, awkwardly avoiding your gaze. “Um, this is gonna sound crazy, but she was basically saying that you like me.”

Your heart started going so fast you were sure it would set a world record at the Olympics. “Huh,” is all you managed to say, glad that it was so dark out that Jeno couldn’t see how red you were.

“Yeah I told her that was crazy, I mean... you don’t like me, like that, right?” Jeno pulled the car to a stop on the curb in front of your house, looking at you intently.

“Uh, yeah, I mean of course not.” There was something funny in the look on his face. It was almost a look of disappointment. But that’s crazy. “Jaemin actually said something similar about you, and I told him he was mad, I mean, you like Aisha, everyone knows-“

“What?” Jeno was now looking at you like you were crazy. “What- I like Aisha?”

“Yeah, I mean, don’t you?”

Jeno groaned, resting his head on the steering wheel. “no, I don’t- I actually like...” He trailed off, turning red and stopping himself before he revealed anything more.

“Who? Who do you like?” You were dreading the answer and honestly didn’t know why you asked.

“I um- okay, please don’t hate me, I like you.” His fingers tapped furiously on the wheel, looking out the window at passing cars. “But I know you like Jaemin, so can we just pretend I never revealed-“

“Wait a damn minute-“ You clapped a hand over his mouth, mind struggling to understand everything that was just revealed in the past 2 minutes. “I don’t like Jaemin, who told you that?”

“I- I mean you guys are always- You don’t like him?”

“No.” Groaning, you rested your head in your hands, hair falling over your face. “I like you, idiot.”

“You- like- me?” He worded it out slowly, finally comprehending the meaning of the words. “Man, we’re both dumb, aren’t we?”

“Yeah,” you laughed breathlessly, moving your hand from your face to pat his, which was still furiously clenched around the wheel. He slowly released his grip, turning his hand around to hold yours.

Making eye contact, you both flushed even redder than you were before, Jeno coughing and looking away. “So um, what now?”

“I- can I try something?” He nodded and removing your hand from his grip, you leaned in, cupping his face and pressing your lips against his. The initial shock wore away and he kissed you back, hands wrapping around your waist to pull you closer. Which was a bit difficult with the seatbelts, but you finally figured it out. Pulling away, you were both grinning like idiots, faces flushed and lips buzzing.

“Can I ask you something?” He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and you nodded. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

***

Come Monday, Jaemin and Aisha we’re completely prepared for Step Two, which was probably a bit TOO detailed. “You got the roses?” Aisha asked, and Jaemin nodded.

“Yeah, you got the peanut butter-“

“Hey, guys!” You greeted as you walked into the room. They looked up, jaws dropping when they saw you.

There were a few things different. First of all, you were wearing Jeno’s jacket. To continue, Jeno’s arm was around you. In conclusion, you two did not look like two people who were JUST friends. “Hi,” Aisha managed to say, nudging Jaemin in the side. “What happened to you two?”

“Oh, we’re dating now, basically.” Jeno grinned, taking your hand in his. The bell rang to get to homeroom, and kids began to filter out of the halls. “I’ll see you in Chem?” You nodded and smiled as he leaned down and kissed your cheek, waving at Aisha and Jaemin as he walked off.

“I gotta get to class, I’ll see you guys later,” You waved at them, hands invisible in the sleeves of Jeno’s large sweater. and walked off.

Jaemin finally closed his mouth, looking at Aisha in shock. “That really happened?”

“Yeah,” she smiled, then groaned. “We have a lot of roses and peanut butter to get rid of, don’t we?”

“Yup.” They started walking to homeroom when Jaemin got an idea. “Do we still get to take credit for them?”

“Oh hell yeah.”

[incensus-nix]

.: party girl :.

❝ I don’t think we should go, ❞  Deacon said, dragging on his cigarette on the makeshift porch Bethany had been working on as a side project. Garages were no longer useful in storing any vehicles now that almost all of them had been out of working order since the bombs fell. And she had taken a liking that they could block out the harsh sun or the toxic rainfall. It seemed that her favorite companion had the same idea.

Bethany leaned against the doorframe, folding her arms. ❝ I disagree, but continue, ❞ her tone was already annoyed with his blatant need to state an unwanted opinion.

Itching his stubble, he rolled his eyes behind his glasses. ❝ There’s really no need to visit Goodneighbor now that the Railroad doesn’t need to use it as an information outpost. ❞ He lied, but he wanted to make up any reason to find their way out of going.

❝ Huh, sounds like a poor reason. Just like I thought. ❞ Picking at her nails she shrugged, waiting for a better response.

❝ You get too excited. ❞

❝ What’s that supposed to mean? ❞

He pushes his lips out, then turns away. ❝ Forget it. ❞

Moving away from the doorframe, she takes a seat at one of the patio chairs, then squints at him. ❝ No, you started it. I wanna know — What do you mean I get too excited? ❞

❝ I said forget it, ❞ his tone was quick, flicking out his cigarette and then leaning over the table, holding himself up with both hands. ❝ Have fun. ❞ Pushing himself away, he made way from her and off somewhere, anywhere, that she wasn’t.

Now she was annoyed, but she didn’t get to have the last word. Scratching the back of her head, she then rose from the patio chair and collected her things to get moving onto Goodneighbor. In truth, she didn’t understand why he was so worried. Word came from Mina when she passed through about a new resident that was far more entertaining than most in town. A singer from the west, she said, which, as far as Bethany knew, this was the most exciting thing to happen in that shithole of a city.

A half a day trek and nothing notable to stand in her way save for the usual beasts that never stood a chance against her, Bethany arrived at the shady city of Goodneighbor, hardly a fond welcome by the guard as she strolled in and weaving her way around to the Third Rail. It was her favorite spot, at least, in a state of ruin. The drinks and chems flowed and the music was worth hearing out at the end of the day.

❝ Ah, a familiar face, ❞ Bethany said as she slid over to standing by Mina, who had a drink in hand already and stood idly next to the mayor as she towards the other with a light grin across her lips.

❝ You made it — by yourself? ❞ the auburn woman asked, slight worry in her voice. Ever since the pack mentality started to happen, it was rare that anyone that came and went from Sanctuary ever left alone. At least in pairs was the closest thing.

Bethany gave an assuring laugh, then wandering off to the bar. ❝ Couldn’t seem to convince anyone else to come. ❞ Hancock sneered a bit, overhearing the comment, but he knew better than to take offense to it. ❝ Boring lot they are — ❞

❝ Tell ‘em, sister, ❞ the mayor wheezed a laugh, handing off a container of jet into Bethany’s hands while Whitecapel Charlie handed her a beer in the other. ❝ It’s gunna be a party tonight. ❞

Looking the other way, Mina waited for the night’s entertainment to take stage, while Hancock and Bethany clicked their bottle necks together, taking a drink and having a hit off the inhalers. The high was worth it, after the morning she had and knowing just as well, it would last throughout the night thanks to the good mayor of Goodneighbor.

Tapping Bethany’s shoulder, Mina pointed up onto the small raised stage as the record began to play an old tune and a woman, well dressed in a pencil skirt and bralette, patted her long golden tresses pinned up into a red flower, walked over to the microphone and winked to the crowd. In unfamiliar drawl to most, Bethany looked at Mina knowing she was onto something with the invitation of his woman from the west.

Puckering her red lips and leaning into the silver microphone, the blond batted her lashes and spoke in a sultry, western accent. ❝ I’m just tickled pink by everyone tonight. My name is Joslyn May and I hope you like this tune. And y’all make sure you give Charlie an extra cap or two tonight — ❞ Swaying her hips, she closed her cat eyes and began to sing into the mic. Her voice was deep and slightly raspy but never off key. Her style was similar to that of Magnolia’s, but hardly a copy, and the woman in red couldn’t help but tap her toes as she waited her turn to entertain the crowd.

❝ Where’d you pick her up? ❞ Bethany leaned into Hancock’s ear, rather something resembling one.

Smirking, he replied, ❝ I didn’t, she strolled in all on her own. ❞

❝ No shit — ❞

❝ Stays over in the Rexford with Magnolia — Doesn’t seem to mind the drunkards and chem users but she refused any from my personal stash. Hard to believe she’s come from New Vegas. ❞

Bethany darted her eyes to Mina. ❝ New Vegas? ❞

❝ Sounds like sin city made it through the war, ❞ the other woman replies, arching a brow.

Slipping a mentant through his lips and passively handing one off to Bethany, Hancock grins a bit. ❝ Sounds like my kind of place. ❞

❝ It would’ve been, even before the bombs. Can’t imagine what it’s like now, ❞ Mina says, ignoring their actions once again.

Swallowing the pill and washing it back with her drink, Bethany bit her lip. ❝ I can… exciting. ❞ She wondered how much of the city really changed. More than likely dirtier, but if this Joslyn came from it all, it would seem it held up to the same standards it always has.

After a few more songs, the Third Rail has been busy with patrons in and out, but most staying for the new entertainment that had sung for them that evening, though they really wanted to see their tried and true favorite enter the stage. The newcomer had no problem either, sharing the stage, as she was a great fan already of the woman in red. Heels clacking down the steps, Whitechapel Charlie held a mechanical arm to help her down as he served another beer at the bar with a spare.

❝ Well, now, you three have been eyein’ me all night, ❞ Joslyn spoke, resting her hand on her hip and smiling some. ❝ Mister Mayor, who’s your new friend? ❞

The ghoul grinned wider. ❝ Hear that? Mister Mayor. I like the way she says it — ❞

Pulling a cigarette from behind her ear, she waves over the Mr. Handy bot to light the butt end. ❝ Charmin’ as ever, but you still haven’t answered my question. ❞

❝ Ehe — Joslyn, this is Bethany. She’s a loose canon. ❞ He popped another mentat, causing Mina to grab for his hand. Two too many, in such a short time frame. But he wasn’t annoyed, he just handed the canister off to Bethany, who had no problem taking another and stuffing it in her coat pocket.

Joslyn eyed the gestures, knowing that Mina had been looking out for the mayor with the best intensions, but who was looking out for the other one? Perhaps it was why she alone, after all, Joslyn had done the same for herself. ❝ Pleasure’s all mine, Miss Bethany. ❞

Biting the tip of her nail, Bethany tried to hold back a smile as she crossed one ankle over the other, causing her balance to shift unsteadily. ❝ Wanna drink with us? ❞ Hardly polite to not return the greeting, but it was her way of inviting the other into their circle.

❝ Depending on the drink, miss. There’s a terrible drought of sarsaparilla in these parts, but I’ll settle for a Nuka-Cherry if I must. ❞ Leaning against the bar with her elbow, she blew the smoke over her shoulder, away from the party.

❝ She’s straight, ❞ Hancock shrugged, dark eyes rolling to look to Bethany. ❝ I don’t understand it myself, personally… ❞

Joslyn, unmoved by his response, took another long drag on the cigarette. ❝ We all have our vices. ❞

Taking a final inhale from the jet canister, Bethany tossed it over her shoulder and fell back slightly onto an empty barstool, snorting out a laugh. ❝ That we do, my dear. ❞ With that, once Joslyn had her ice cold cola in hand, the four of them clanked the bottles together and listened to Magnolia take stage for the rest of the evening.

The following afternoon, Bethany blinked a bit as she woke up to the stench of burning chems and other undesirable smells floating in the air in an abandoned Rexford hotel room. Figures, that’s where they all ended up after a night like that, though she had no recollection of anything past her second drink. Mentats… Jet… All the worthy drugs that didn’t completely send her completely off the rails.

The door unlocking, Bethany froze, quickly searching for any weapon but had to settle for a unlit lamp, clutching it to her chest bracing for whatever came through the door in that moment. She hated these moments…

A nose popping in, then a golden curl falling into frame, the singer from the night before propped her head in slowly. ❝ There, there, put that lamp post down before you hurt yourself. ❞

A sigh a relief, Bethany, put it back on the nightstand and fell back flat onto the bed. ❝ I was going to try and fight you. ❞

❝ You were gunna lose an eye tryin’ to fight me with that old thing, miss, ❞ the blond laughed, then covering her bright red lips behind her hand. ❝ Sorry, that was rude. I really just wanted to check in. You had… quite the night. Thought you were going to fight the whole town. ❞

❝ Come again? ❞ Bethany sat up, blinking a few.

Joslyn, seating herself at the edge of the bed, leaned her chin onto her hand, then shook her head. ❝ It’s not my place to make suggestions, but you’re a feisty one when you’re on a thing or two, you know that? ❞

Bethany, pushed out her lips. ❝ I’ve been told. ❞

Pulling down on her skirt while seated, the singer replies. ❝ Good thing it only takes half a person to hold y’down. ❞

Biting her lip, Bethany closes her eyes, trying to hold in a light laugh. ❝ I’ve also been told this. ❞

❝ Yes, well, I’m surprised you’re in one piece, that’s all. Mina had taken Mister Mayor back to his room at the Old State House went he was spent for the night. Those chems of yours surely make you two the rowdy bunch, ❞ Joslyn went on, though she did her best not to sound too judgmental. ❝ Then you tried to fight off a few boys looking at me the wrong way — cute, I might add, but they weren’t gunna do any harm. ❞

Bringing herself up with a groan, Bethany rubbed her temples. ❝ Ah… I don’t remember, honestly. ❞

With a giggle, the blond flipped her hair, replying, ❝ I didn’t think you would. ❞ Rummaging through the dresser drawers, she found Bethany’s belongings, then herself leisurely hiking up a pair of slacks under her skirt, then unzipping it from the back and wiggling herself out of the tight pencil skirt. ❝ Anyway, I said I’d accompany you back to your homestead — and before you can argue, Mina suggested I stop by anyway. So, as rude as showing up uninvited, I’ve been told I’d be doing you a favor. Awful nice friends of yours lookin’ out for you. ❞

Rolling herself off the bed, Bethany just goes and reaches to strap herself to her bag and gun, in poor order considering her lack of footwear in the moment and how difficult it was to put on a pair of boots after the fact. Her head was still spinning a bit, already itching for something to take away the pain. ❝ I suppose I didn’t scare you away, so that’s the plus side. ❞

Placing her pumps into satchel and searching for her own pair of walking boots, Joslyn rolled a lock of hair behind her ear, then laced them up her ankles. ❝ You’ll have to try harder than that, honey, I’ve been shoot in the head and left for dead — Ain’t nothin’ scarier than waking up from that. ❞

Bethany smirks, finally tying herself into her own shoes. ❝ We could have a dick measuring contest of who’s had it worse, I’m sure. ❞

Standing up, hand on hip, Joslyn rolled her eyes. ❝ Everyone’s got something, I don’t doubt it for a minute. C’mon now, I was told I needed to get you home. ❞

❝ What if I wanna stay here and pay rent? ❞

❝ Hush now, ❞ Joslyn waves her off, then heads out the door. ❝ Better keep up, I don’t have much sympathy for hangovers. Be different if you had radiation flu — ❞

❝ Yes ma’am. ❞

Outside the Rexford, a man sitting on the steps smoking and reading the newspaper turned up his head once he heard two women walking across the cement stairs, sliding his sunglasses down to make eye contact with the westerner. ❝ Howdy. ❞

Quickly turning, Joslyn bounced a bit, then nearly skipped over to the man as he folded his paper and stuck it underneath his arm. ❝ Well now! Funny bumping into you here! ❞ Joslyn turned to Bethany, then extends an arm to show off the other figure. ❝ This man was just so helpful getting you up these tricky stairs last night. Hard to find such a gentleman in these parts. ❞

❝ Fuck, ❞ Bethany sighed out, dropping her gun off her shoulders onto the cement.

Smiling at her, he pushes his shades back up his nose, then nods to Joslyn. ❝ Potty mouth, am I right? ❞

Joslyn looked between the two of them, then scratched her head. ❝ Oh, have y’all met before? ❞

Crossing her arms over her chest, Bethany just gave a quiet, tired stare over to Deacon. He, on the other hand, just remained calm and collected, maintaining a forceful smile on his face. ❝ Oh yeah! We’re tight like a noose. ❞

❝ Well why didn’t you say nothin’ last night! ❞ Joslyn tried keeping the mood light hearted enough, but was quickly faltering as she could see the interaction wasn’t going well.

❝ Because he wanted to spy on me, that’s why, ❞ Bethany barked, then pulled her gun back over her shoulder and started to march off to Goodneighbor’s doors.

Joslyn pushed out her lips, confused and searching Deacon for answers. Instead, he just started to follow the silver haired woman and waved for the other to follow. ❝ She’s just being dramatic, that’s all. ❞

Stopping in her tracks, Bethany turned towards him and huffed in frustration. Pivoting her heels, she flared her nostrils and snapped back, ❝ You came all the way out here to just to make me look like an idiot and pretend you don’t even know me. You’re a spiteful ass. ❞ After speaking, she continues to walk away from them both.

Rubbing his eyes underneath his glasses, he just follows her, Joslyn unsure of how to react other than continuing to do the same. ❝ She’s a lil firecracker, huh? ❞ she asks in a low whisper to him, Deacon just shrugging it off.

❝ She’ll get over it, ❞ he says back, tossing the paper out in passing a trash bin on fire.

❝ Well, y’sure you want me following you two back or am I better off here? ❞

Deacon laughed. ❝ Nah, come with us. You’ll just love the cats. ❞

❝ Cats? ❞

❝ You’ll see. ❞

Bethany was always a few yards ahead of them, kicking stones like a child along the way. Deacon happily chatted along with Joslyn, seeming to hit it off rather quickly. It was nice, for once, to have a slightly more carefree conversation than the usual. Didn’t help ease Bethany’s anxiety about what was to come next. Why did he always have an issue with everything she did? Knowing some kind of explosive argument was bound to happen once they arrived back in Sanctuary. She would go through an emotional outburst, he’d get frustrated and call her out. It always settled with one of the admitting the other was wrong, but she always felt like in the end it was her.

Where was Hancock when she needed to get away?

Arriving into the old, pastel neighborhood, Danse and Hart greeted the trio, Deacon cheerly making introductions as if he was the one in charge of how things were done around town. Annoyed, Bethany just walked by everyone and dragged her feet along the broken road back home. Inside, she kicked her boots off into a corner and dropped her gun off in the middle of the room, falling face first into her bed and curling up with her torn sloth plush staring into the dirty walls of the room.

Picking at the wall with a nail, chipping the paint as she did so, she waited to hear a familiar pair of shoes walk around the floor boards. It seemed like forever, but mentally stressing over something for an hour would seem so. Once she heard them, she jerked her hand back and held her sloth tighter. Here it came… This conversation.

❝ Not now, Deacon, I want to be alone. ❞ She hoped her snapping before he spoke would end it right then and there. Nothing was said in response, just footsteps getting closer, then his form sitting on the edge of her bed and pushing down on the mattress. ❝ I said I want to be alone! ❞

Leaning forward, he slipped off his cap and crumpled it up in both hands, leaning his forehead into it. ❝ I know why you do it, I’m not stupid. ❞ His voice was calm, but seemingly defeated in tone as well. ❝ Hey, sometimes I even just want to pop a stealth boy and bug out. ❞ He twists the cap tighter in his grip, brows tightening a bit. ❝ But I think what you’d do if I just disappeared one day and I don’t want to think about what would happen. Because I consider you now in all my decisions. Call it being whipped I guess. ❞ Loosening his grip, he sets the cap on her nightstand and looks over his shoulder to see her back still turned to him. ❝ I’m tired of bringing up why, when you know very well the reason. ❞

Bethany just curled up more. Of course she’d be guilted about it all. What was supposed to say? Crying wolf seemed to be the only tactic she had and she was also as tired as she was being a broken record. How many times did she have to say she was sorry for everything? What she was? What she’d been through…

Pulling a few loose strands away from her face, Deacon leans down, pressing his lips to her cheekbones, lingering on the moment before pulling himself up and away from her, rising to his feet and walking out of her room, pausing at the doorframe. ❝ I just want to know where I stand in yours. ❞ Finishing his exit, Bethany laid there, feeling hallow more than before. It went differently, but being left to her own thoughts was maddening.

Twisting round in her bed, she threw the stuffed sloth into the wall, letting out a half yell while kicking her feet in the air. Bolting up from her bed, she begun to tear through her drawers and stashes she had laying around. Anything to forget. Clothes sprawled out all over the floor, as well as other petty trinkets, she burst into the bathroom and threw open the mirror to find something else. Had she nothing left? Booze was an option, but it didn’t work fast enough.

Quickly remembering Hancock giving her the case of mentats, it was something, running for the bag she had left Goodneighbor with. Dumping the contents onto the floor, she threw around items that were of no use to her until she found the familiar canister. It was only when she picked it up, did she notice it was empty. Shaking it violently, she then screamed and threw it against her wall, the tin busting open and dented now on the floor. Pushing up into her eyes, she began a howling cry through the house, finding everything around her unable to ease the pain she was feeling. She was going south, fast, and felt the dread of loneliness creeping evermore. It was clear that finding chems when Deacon already asked her, politely, to stop was only going to make matters worse. She didn’t care, though. Not anymore, really. There were a few good days, but the memories of the vault and Nuka-World just seemed to come reeling back tenfold every time she took a hit. And every time that happened, she could only wish for more to make it all go away. It was a trap she set herself in.

Outside, Deacon just sat out at the patio, smoking and listening to her meltdown. Everyone in the neighborhood could hear it but no one said anything. The insanity of the wasteland didn’t surprise most, and the settlement tolerated her antics if it meant a safe place to live. Still, it was everyone’s thoughts as to how much longer he could handle dealing with her. Most didn’t want to, or even knew how.

Slowly walking up, the old ghoul, Donald, pushed his way up the driveway and fell into the seat across from Deacon, groaning a bit as he tried to find a comfortable position. ❝ Hey, kid. ❞

Dragging on the cigarette, Deacon blew away from the other, offering a light smile. He liked being called kid. Hell, the ghoul was everyone’s grandpa at Sanctuary. ❝ Hiiiiii, Donald. ❞ Finally, someone sane.

❝ What’s it this time? ❞

❝ Jet… Mentats… Booze… Hangovers are a real bummer. ❞

❝ Yeah, well, ❞ the ghoul coughed mid sentence, then pounding into his chest. ❝ — is it worth it? ❞

Deacon shrugged, flicking the ashes off to the side. ❝ I dunno. Why try living at all if that’s how it’s gunna be? ❞

Donald nodded, then tapped his boney fingers on the table’s surface. ❝ Scrambled eggs for brains don’t exactly make rational decisions. ❞

❝ I can’t fix that. ❞

❝ I don’t think you should try, either. ❞ Wheezing a bit, Donald scratched at his cheek, unfortunately, tearing off a small peace of skin along with it. ❝ But you gotta find her something better than chems she can get addicted to. ❞

Deacon pulled down his glasses, a ginger brow lifting in skepticism. ❝ I don’t follow. ❞

Gesturing up to his own chest, Donald patted and his left breast pocket, then dropping his hand back on the table. ❝ That always trumps everything, cool guy. ❞

Scoffing, Deacon argues back, ❝ I already offered that, it doesn’t work. ❞

Getting up slowly, Donald moves around the table, then pats his hand over the other’s shoulder, then leans down to whisper in Deacon’s ear. ❝ I haven’t heard shit. ❞ Leaning back up, joints popping as he did so, the ghoul gave the other a knowing smile, then started to make his way back to his tiny home to labor over a pair of slacks he was repairing earlier.

Mouth slightly agape, Deacon just sat there in his own head, repeating the other in a low voice. ❝ Heard shit? Aw, come on… Creepy old man. ❞

A few hours passed, the noise in the house ceasing in the first minutes. Assuming Bethany had exhausted herself and passed out, the rest of the neighborhood went back to its business, Deacon inside cleaning up the hungover mess she created from earlier. Once things were slightly back to normal, he laid down on his back and waited for Bethany to stir a bit, hopefully waking herself up and not by his doing.

A heavy breath of air, she stretched a bit then turned, seeing him laying beside her with hands under his head. ❝ What are you doing here? ❞

He turns his head, glad to see she was calmer than earlier. ❝ Proving myself. ❞

Her brows wrinkle a bit. ❝ I thought you’d already accomplished that. ❞

There was a huff of a laugh, then he looks back up to the ceiling, noticing a small hole in the framework. He’d get that taken care of another time before the rains hit. ❝ Nah, that wasn’t it. ❞ He sighs, then pulls himself up and reaches out for her hand. ❝ This… whatever we want to call ourselves… has become part of everything I do now. You asked me not to leave after what happened to the Institute, so I did. I’m literally trying to be the most honest individual I’ve been in years because I think you’re worth that part of me. I am trying so hard to prove that right now. So hard, Bethany. ❞

Slipping a hand away form under his, pushing herself with both off the wood floor, she felt a tear roll down one cheek and wiped it away quickly so he wouldn’t notice. But he did. He always does. ❝ It’s like I’ve been chasing you for so long and once I had your attention the way I wanted it, I don’t think I deserve it. ❞

❝ That’s cra— ❞ he catches himself. ❝ — That’s… not right. ❞

She shields herself in her own hands. ❝ I don’t know how else to think. ❞

It breaks him to hear it, scooting closer to her and taking both hands in his and giving them a gentle squeeze. ❝ I know you don’t, but that’s why I’m trying to tell you. I’m not trying to control your life but you keep going like this and you’ll… ❞

She swallows, looking away and nodding. ❝ You don’t have to say it. ❞

❝ Thanks… ❞ He bites his bottom lip, looking down himself. ❝ I’m not over what happened to her. I’ll never be over it. There’s no getting over it. I don’t want you to just get over what happened to you, either. ❞ He looks back up, pulling up her chin so that her eyes would meet his. ❝ But I will do anything to make your suffering less. You have to trust me that when I ask you to stop, it’s because I’m watching it happen again. ❞

Her face squeezes together, more hot tears fall down her face as she closes her eyes tightly. Knowing how poorly she handles herself and how much it hurts him in the end, she could hardly take it. ❝ I don’t want to hurt you… ❞ she cries, shoulders shaking.

Trying to be sympathetic, he dries her face with his hands. ❝ It’s alright, you haven’t yet — ❞

❝ Liar. ❞

She’s not wrong, but it’s not enough to chase him away right now. ❝ Remember when you wanted to share every happy moment with me? That feeling, but all the time? I want that, too — You don’t need that shit in your system to do it. And maybe I’ve failed not giving you enough attention. I’m not good at that, I know it, but I could do better — ❞

She shakes her head. ❝ No, you’re plenty. ❞

❝ Then what can I do? I’m at a loss, ❞ he shrugs, knowing he probably shouldn’t admit to not having all the answers. But this was all working on the whole honestly thing.

Her eyes were still tear filled, large as a doe’s as she looked up to him. ❝ Tell me you love me. ❞

Caught off guard, his chest pounded loudly in his ears. Knowing if he waited too long to say anything, it would look like he was doubting how earnest he was being. Not another moment longer, he simply blurts from his lips. ❝ I love you. ❞

She in truth, never thought she’d ever actually hear those words. It was a sickening torture she played with herself, knowing it’d only hurt her in the end. But it was so avoided in their time together, even when it was merely to two of them and no one else to listen, it never was touched upon. Even now, she realized how much she sounded like she forced it out of him.

And she did. Though he waited too long to admit it in the first place.

A lopsided smile and burning cheeks radiated from him, Bethany seeing this now and letting her doubts flow from her. A second later, she threw herself onto him, latching on as tightly as she could. She never wanted to let go, feeling him against her and his warmth. It was unlike anything she ever had received from another person. Genuine, pure warmth. Squeezing a bit more, she buried her face into his cheek and quietly squeaked out, ❝ I love you. ❞

On his end, he heaved a bit, trying to not allow himself to get too emotionally wrapped up. Right then, she needed a solid ground and reassurance that she wasn’t going to be completely lost to the wasteland and it’s cruelties.

A minute of holding one another, Bethany pulled herself away reluctantly and held onto his shoulders. ❝ I’ll stop. I promise, I’ll stop. ❞ She knows she’ll turn into the worst person for a while, but hopefully this meant she could survive off moments like these for the rest of her time here.

Not that he could help himself, expression unchanged from the smile he had on earlier, but lips were tighter and a single tear fell as he swallowed hard holding back the others creeping up. ❝ Every step of the way… I’ve got your back. Always have. ❞

❝ I know. ❞

There were a few more comments, the both of them wiping each other’s faces and laughing about how they looked a mess from it all. Once more, from the bottom, they found a way to pull themselves both back up from the holes they fell in. Now, more than ever, they knew they had the other to reach out of the well of despair when they felt like they were drowning in it.

A sniff, Bethany brings up another topic, just to bring up the mood. ❝ You think I should invite Joslyn to stay? ❞

❝ Might cause some ruffled feathers back in Goodneighbor. She’s nice, though. ❞

❝ Yeah — Well, doesn’t hurt to ask. ❞

❝ She’ll be a good influence. ❞

❝ Yeah… Yeah, I think so, too. ❞