#having a good cry tonight let me have my angsty 2014 tumblr poetry moment pls
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I still drive my grandma’s Subaru.
I wonder sometimes - would she hate me?
Could she love me?
She never knew me; dead before I had a body I hated. Buried before I knew the word for wanting to die by my own hand.
Could she love a stranger?
A stranger who murdered her grandchild and wears their skin like a trophy?
Would she hate me? Would she hate me? Would she hate me?
And I cry - could you love me?
And I cry
Because she is crying.
Of course not.
How could I?
How could you think that I would?
#ra speaks#personal#poetry#trans#transgender#okay to reblog#having a good cry tonight let me have my angsty 2014 tumblr poetry moment pls#I never had the chance to come out to my grandparents. any of them. and part of me feels robbed#of the knowing. of the confirmation. of the answer.#and part of me feels…yeah.#her death triggered my first major depressive episode and I was only 12#if I see her again she won’t recognize me. but would she recognize anyone but that bubbly talkative child I haven’t been in years?#that I haven’t been since she died?
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