#he doesnt get drunk but i forgor to change that

[emerxshiu]

i still struggle so much drawing the creature in a non gijinka way

also i know the background is horrible but uhhhhh

i have been drawing basically like, the entire week lol to try to lift my mood up since last post, yknow so i at least know i can still draw, and i made a list with stuff to draw, i have a few of em done but i wanna upload them in the same post so it will take a while (its nothing much, just some silly un-shaded quick drawings) i also im doing this one drawing and im trying something different so uh, i very much have no idea of what the fuck im trying to do in that one (it has a bit to do with chaos elfilis as in im tryna remake their gijinka and going crazy on not being satisfied with the designs i came up with and cool ideas i dont have the skill to do)

went in a bit of rant there, huh? well, i just wanted to post something already (i was planning to upload this tmrrw)

uh Jambuhbye! :D

[lakesbian]

I’m only really aware of no home through your liveblog but also WHAT is the deal with haejoon’s opinion on eunyung changing so much for the worse? like it seemed from your posting that he seemed pretty chill w her at the start of the story but it looks like he’s only kinda gotten more distant the more he’s gotten to know her

i dunno it's just odd, i think it's partially the author Intentionally taking it a direction i didn't necessarily like, and partially things that r supposed to be comedic/lighthearted coming off wrong. but i'm not even sure the narrative is like. self aware. about how tragic it is for eunyung that she really likes and respects haejoon, and haejoon's middle-arc realization about her is "i don't dislike him (because ive come to see him as a kid deserving of pity) but i cant bring myself to like him, either." it's just like. rest in peace eunyung. bc the initial trajectory of their arc is about them clashing a ton while also simultaneously being in similar enough circumstances to be capable of really understanding and helping each other during difficult moments. and this help goes both ways, but eunyung ends up being continuously treated by haejoon as 'below' him, or like she's just crazy or stupid or fundamentally cruel. and it feels really really bad that this is never meaningfully addressed, because we know that being dismissed like that is easily her no. 1 trigger, and there's even a part earlier into their arc where haejoon is confronted w how he's being shitty--but then it just kinda. Keeps happening anyway. and is never really reckoned with again. eunyung improves in how she handles interpersonal stuff, but haejoon either doesn't improve or actively gets worse. and it extends to the point of being really casually shitty towards eunyung in a way that i find kinda upsetting. bc again i dont think the author is Aware that haejoon is being shitty like this. They Forgor.

the whole thing w haejoon continuously looking down on her for her Beautiful Princess w a Disorder behavior is also crazy because like. Theres literally the arc where haejoon has psychosis moments and starts acting in very erratic and self-injurious ways over some of his hallucinations, and eunyung is the one to follow him into the woods to make sure he doesnt get hurt + get him to open up w/o judgment. but haejoon cannot return this favor when shes having problems?

and then theres also the stuff like. i think the author thinks it was a funny joke moment when haejoon convinces drunk eunyung (who was Just suicidally ranting about her complete lack of life prospects and how she Couldnt do acting/whatever bc she cant sing) to try singing and then records her singing terribly/makes fun of her by being like lol yeah youre great youll be a star. like from the tonal context i think that was supposed to be the lighthearted gag to close out the chapter about both of them being suicidal. but it was in fact just really cruel of him and i think we should hit him with hammers for it. leave her the fuck alone. in conclusion this is why haejoon went from being like a brian laborn or a jakey animorphs to me to being on my shit list