#he gets so focused about figuring out how his opponent is cheating in a dice game that he LETS HIS HOUSE BURN DOWN

[mothocean]

rohan kishibe is so archivist-coded it drives me insane

[thatcheesyler]

Gambling has it's perks

Summary: Cuphead and Mugman are about to lose it all at the casino, but Cuphead has a little trick up his sleeve. Can they beat King Dice at his own game? Read and see ;)

A/N: This is a sfw Cuphead tickle fic, if you do not like it, please dni. Enjoy! <3

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You'd think that most people would quit once they'd almost lost everything in a gamble. But the cup brothers were certainly not most people, even after losing to the devil himself.

Now, gambling with the devil's right hand man wasn't any less dangerous, but at least there was the possibility he'd give you a second chance. Well, only if you weren't cuphead or mugman. Speaking of them, right now they are pretty much betting their lives away for money, one wrong move and they could say bye-bye to their souls.

"Wait! Uh..King Dice sir, could me and my brother talk alone for a moment?" Mugman interrupted politely, not wanting to make the wrong choice. "Hmmm, I'll give you two minutes, but no cheating boys!" King Dice replied with a shit-eating grin. Mugman wasted no time in grabbing Cuphead's arm and running to a different room where Dice couldn't hear. "Mugsy! Whaddya doin', I was about to play our last turn!" Cuphead's whisper-shouted, angry but curious on what his brother had to say. "L-look Cuphead, I'm not so sure we should do this without a plan. I mean what if we get it wrong?!" Mugman couldn't help but stress out about their current situation. Cuphead still wanted to wing it, but he had to agree that blind luck had seldom worked for them in the past.

But just when Mugman was about to accept his fate, Cuphead had a little lightbulb moment. "Hey Mugsy! I got the perfect plan, listen to this" He announced, trying to keep his voice down nevertheless. The mug was intruiged and leant his 'ear' close to hear his brothers so-called plan. Inaudible mutters and mumbles were heard until they had it all figured out completely. Just in time too, as it had gone 2 minutes, "Boys! Time's up~" Dice called out. The brothers nodded firmly at eachother, walking back to the other room to greet their opponent. "Okay Dice, I'll play my turn now." Cuphead stated hastily, picking up the small 6-sided dice on the table. He was about to roll when....he stopped, "I-..I don't know if I can do this, I mean losing would just be- GET 'IM MUGSY!" All of a sudden, Mugman jumped up onto the table and swiftly pounced on King Dice, trapping his hands behind him. This earned a yell from the taller man, focusing so much on Mugman that he didn't notice Cuphead approaching. "Not so tough now, huh Dice?" Said man whipped his head around to the voice, instinctively bringing his knees to his chest out of fear. "Geez, King Dice sir, the Devil must treat you really badly if you're scared of us" Mugman pitifully remarked. Dice just sat silently staring at the floor, still partly afraid of what was to happen to him now. "Relax, Dice! Me and my brudda ain't gonna hurt ya!" Cuphead assured him, leaving Dice as confused as ever.

"*Sigh* Dare I ask what you're going to do, little nuisances." He wearily said. The brothers shared a 'should we tell him?' look before concluding that it wouldn't really change anything. "Well, hurtin' ya is against the rules, so we're gonna tickle ya to pieces instead!" Cuphead answered. Dice widened his eyes upon this and quickly grew nervous, knowing fully well how relentless children could be. 'What do I do?! How do I get out of this?!' King Dice's thoughts disappeared entirely as he felt a gloved finger gliding down his stomach. A twitchy smile was created on his face, gritting his teeth as Cuphead lightly scratched his ribs.

"C'mon Dice, where's that laugh~?" The cup teased, his brother still restraining their targets arms. What all three of them didn't expect, was for another voice to be coming their way.

"Heya, boys! I just thought I'd drop on by to make sure you two ding-dongs aren't dead yet!" It was the one and only Ms. Chalice. King Dice's jaw dropped to the ground upon her appearance, while the two 'ding-dongs' shared an overjoyed smile. "Chalice!" They shouted in sync, said girl making her way over to them.

"Wow, looks like you boys have this guy in a real bind, mind if I help out?" She offered, smirking fondly at Dice, who seemed to have stopped functioning. "I- wh- h-how-"

"Trust me fella, it's too long a story. Now, what exactly is goin' on here?"

"We don't wanna lose our souls so we're ticklin' Dicey here till he gives up!" Cuphead blurted out, making Dice groan and blush a bit. Chalice chuckled and knealt down beside Mugman, whispering something inaudible into his straw. The mug's face lit up, suddenly hoisting King Dice's hands above his head. Dice struggled against Mugman's surprisingly strong grip, but gave up easily as it was no use. "Alright, scoot over Cuphead, I wanna get in on this too!" Chalice said. The cup obliged, leaving Dice twice as scared as he noticed how thin and tickly her fingers looked.

"Hmmm, how 'bout you go for his underarms and I stick to his belly?" Cuphead suggested.

"Got it, Mugman are you gonna gonna be fine holdin' him?"

"Yep! I'm feeling particularly strong today!" Mugman replied, even though there was practically no struggle against his grasp. On the count of three, Cuphead and Chalice started poking and prodding every inch of stomach and armpit they could find. Giggles and snickers found their way out of Dice's mouth, his feet kicking a little.

"Hehehahaha, yohohuhuhu brahahats are sohoho dehehahad whehehen thihihis ehehehends!" He 'threatened', it lacked intimidation though considering he was being tickled silly. Dice squeaked when a certain cup lightly pinched his side, his face growing crimson red again. "Awww, your squeaks are adorable~!" (⚠️Not a ship!⚠️)

"Shuhuhuhut ihihit cupfahahace, yohou pihihehece ohof shi-ACK!! WAHAHAHIHIHIT NOHOHOHO, STOHOHOHOP!!!" Dice suddenly exclaimed as Chalice squeezed his hip repeatedly. "Better watch your mouth mister, or I'll make it ten times worse next time!" She said, giving one more squeeze that felt like a ticklish electric shock. Everything then went at a steady pace for a while until Mugman just had to think out loud.

"Hey guys, so people normally have ticklish necks, but since Mr Dice has no neck, wouldn't it be realistic if he was ticklish around the neck?" King Dice mentally gulped after he said that. After a recent 'makeup incident' with his playing cards colouring the pips on the underside of his head, both Dice and his cards learnt how ridiculously sensitive he was there. Both Cuphead and Chalice turned to look at where Dice's neck should be, wondering if what Mug said was true or not.

"Listen kids, I will let you go anywhere else you like. But please, do not touch that area." But his pleading only made them more interested. Mischief ignited their eyes, huge smirks forming on their lips. The last words he could choke out before they attacked were,

"Oh crap."

Soon thin fingers were dancing along the underside of his head, while some thicker fingers scratched and poked. Meanwhile Kind Dice was thrown into hysterics,

"WAHAHAHIHIHIT, WAHAHAHAHIHIHIHIT! PLEHEHEHEHAHASE STAHAHAHAHAP, IHIHIHIH CAHAHAN'T TAHAHAKE IHIHIT!!" He yelled, just hoping that at least one of them would stop. His wish technically came true as Chalice slowed down, slightly worried about going too far. She sighed and said, "alright, let's stop this now, Cuphead." Her friend obeyed, ceasing his hands.

Dice inhaled desperately and Mugman decided to let go of his arms, Dice immediately rubbed his tingling body.

"*huff* y'know, after all that *huff*, I don't give up and I wanna see who wins the bet. *huff*" He admitted, his smug attitude returning.

"Don't worry ding-dongs, I got this" Chalice reassured them. "Mugman, now!"

As fast as he could, Mugman pulled Dice's head really hard so that it popped right off his shoulders. King Dice obviously tried to grab it, but again to no avail as he couldn't entirely move without his head.

"Ugh, what now? Gonna roll me like a dice until I give up?- wait no don't actually do that, I'll be sick." Dice remarked, completely oblivious about the now exposed underside of his head. "Nope, it's just a little experiment to see if you'd change your mind!" Chalice explained. Without warning, she blew a big raspberry on the bottom of his head, and boy did he f*cking scream 💀.

"NONONONONO STAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA!!" Uncontrollable laughter poured out of him, luckily it was a rather short raspberry. "Give up yet, Mister Dice?" Chalice asked cockily, Mugman popped his head back onto his body in the meantime. King Dice collapsed into a giggly puddle, holding his poor head. It took about 5 minutes before he had finally regained his breath and stamina. It was only then he admitted defeat, he also realized that Chips was staring wide-eyed from the other side of the room. Dice turned so red you'd wonder if his head was white in the first place. "H-....how long have you been here?" Chips grinned and replied "Oh, y'know, I saw like all of it. I won't tell, I promise boss." He surrendered his hands to show he'd keep the promise. "Good, 'cause you're fired if you tell anyone about this." Dice threatened, he was lucky the Devil didn't see though, he'd be teased for it every.single.day.

Chips kept his promise, but he took advantage of this discovery every chance he got just to mess with the Devil's number one.

In reality, Dice didn't mind one bit if it meant he got some bonding time with his colleagues. The Devil did find out eventually though, and, well, let's just say Dice was too tired to get up the next morning ;). (Stop I'm reading this again a while later and this line sounds so stupidly dirty, I'm so sorry 😭)

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Okay, this took WAY longer than it needed to so I'm sorry for that but I hope you enjoyed this fic. Honestly though KD has gotta be one of the funniest villains ever 😂.

Have a lovely day/night <3

[blyanten]

THE DUCK AVENGER: #49-50 IF...

This issue opens a dark night where, once AGAIN, an alarm is going off in Ducklair Tower. Even the High Priest in Dhasam-Bul says it. Once again. But this time, while Everett is shocked (again), he decides it’s not important.

This is because he’s up to something. Later, while lighting candles, Everett ponders the great threat that he, personally, is responsible for. Which is another «again?» moment. But we do learn that his dedication to science and voluntary exile to Dhasam-Bul was a way of avoiding the responsibility. 

However, during his stay as Dhasam-Bul he learned of a great secret that can alter reality. As Everett is walking down a set of stairs and setting of alarms during this internal monologue, we can only assume that he’s gonna use that. However, setting of the alarm bell, a literal one, alerts the High Priest.

The secret turns out to be The Book of Destiny. Not very creative, but what you see is what you get. Everything that’s happens is somewhere in this tiny book. All of world history. In that. The only reasonable thing is that it shows you what you want to see.

I always want to know who makes those things.

Anyhow, what Everett wants to do is to alter a few events and indulge his need to know what would have happened if it went differently.

... this is cheating.

We start of with #1 Shadows on Venus, where Angus Fangus is kidnapped by Evronians and is promptly rescued by the Avenger and Xadhoom.

Then Everett throws a wrench into the event. 

Alternate timeline 1 (Shadows on Venus).

Angus now fails to get into Ducklair Tower and is instead kidnapped outside, and therefore also outside One’s sensor range.  Rather than a kidnapping attempt, One registers a minor failure with the security cameras.

And so Angus is left in the hands of the Evronians. Everett refers to this as a «small change», which might be fair on the grand scale, but come on, you’re playing with lives here.

Sometime later in that timeline, the Avenger complains that Agnus going missing has only brought him headaches. One disagrees, claiming that there have been positive aspects. 

And this is where it gets interesting, because Angus not being there allowed One and the Avenger to intercept the farmer Russel (#6 Spores), who had Evronian spores growing in his fields, suggesting that that mess was sorted out earlier. It also leads them to the desert military camp like it originally did. 

This time, however, the Avenger walks up to the front door, rather than being caught spying, and basically accuses Colonel Westcock of treason to planet Earth. He utterly unimpressed by the big men with guns, and when Westcock tries to have him arrested we learn why.

The Avenger at the gates is a hologram, the real one has already gotten into the giant robot, and it appears that One’s side of things have gone basically the same as they originally did, because he’s inside the system. 

Making enemies and allies at the same time!

The Avenger starts burning the spores, while Westcock has a ragestroke, activating Defense Code Sigma-Zero Sigma Red. 

And this guy shows up.

Why the hotpants?

The Avenger quickly realizes the new guy isn’t from Earth because he doesn’t crack stupid jokes. Wisecube, watching the fight is pissed, as he never authorized Westcock to bring in aliens to help with defense and demands a phone.

Meanwhile, the Avenger is in trouble, as his opponent gets stronger the more he gets hit. The Avenger does manage to get in a blow, knocking the opponent’s mask off. 

The worst nighmare of anyone who knows Angus Fangus.

It’s Angus. Or, something like Angus. Angus-thing takes a moment to explain that Zoster’s experiments on Angus opened a whole new world for the Evronians, allowing them to create  new kind of Evronian super-soldier.

He’s the first of many.

The art in this issue is great, by the way. So I mean it in the best way possible when I say "Gross”.

Westcock finally picks up on the fact that he’s been played and orders everyone to attack. The lack of talking during this fight gives it an air of seriousness that is often missing, mostly likely to show that this is bad. And it is. Unlike normal Evronians, the Angus-things gets stronger during the fight and there’s an entire field of them.

Repeating myself here, but the decsion to have no one talking: Great.

But then the Avenger tells everyone to stand down. He’s figured it out, the Angus-things draw strength from the negative emotions of the people they’re fighting. This plays right into Angus’s talent for pissing people off, and the Avenger thinks that, well, it’s time to let go of the rage and go to your happy place.

Westcock grumbles, but decides the Avenger is the one who’s showed good sense unlike a lot of bigwigs, and goes along with it. 

Looking at those smiles, I am okay with not knowing what their happy places are.

The soldiers turn out to be shockingly good at focusing on the good memories considering that they were just in a firefight, and the Angus-things slowly collapse into nothing.

And then everyone is happy because they won, and the Evronians are beaten. To make things even better, the changes in this incident causes the Evronian delegation that Earth was negotiating with at this point in time to be arrested and sent back home with the message that Earth now knows they’re enemies. If they come back, the satellite missile defense systems will give them a warm, and presumably short, welcome.

It’s like they’re throwing acid at them.

Everett, however, is unimpressed. As far as he’s concerned, this scenario only makes things worse for him. He’s also forced to grab the book and go somewhere else, as the senior monks have come looking for the intruder. 

So sneaky.

While on the move, we learn that whatever Everett is planning requires Angus to be on Earth. So he changes his focus to a different event, one he was personally involved in.

This time, the alteration Everett makes is stopping himself from going to help the Avenger and One stopping Two (#2 Two). 

Alternate timeline 2 (Two).

This one opens right at the beginning of the issue, with the Avenger in the virtual reality bubble he’d asked One to construct.  This time, however, when One starts the disconnection program, the Avenger gets stung by a red, virtual wasp before he can leave. When he actually tries to leave, the door is slammed shut on him as an anomaly has been detected. 

Something is happening.

The Avenger is trapped until the anti-virus is satisfied, and it’s going to take about 20 minutes. Which isn’t that long, but the Avenger wants out. Now. One actually tsks him, and tells him no dice, not even One can override that program. 

I appreciate how insulted the Avenger’s mindless body looks here.

The Avenger gets in a dig at One, claiming that the mystery hacker has gotten into his programs, and Once basically calls him a whiner and to go make himself useful. The Avenger again says to let him out, but right after some data goes flying by a tiny frog with tentacles on its head appears. The Avenger goes back to taunting One, claiming that finding the virus was easy.

Except it’s not a virus, it’s the anti-virus and take a wild guess at who doesn’t belong in virtual reality? That’s right, it’s the Avenger.

...no, I am not going to ask why Everett felt the need to make a tentacle monster his anti-virus.

Which One finds strange, as the made sure the Avenger should have been recognized as belonging there. He’s gonna need more time to find the problem than originally expected. 

The Avenger is pissed at One blocking his exit from VR again, and demands to be let out. Again. One refuses and the Avenger responds by saying he thinks the hacker has infected One.

One graciously ignores this and tells the Avenger to chill. He’s working on it.

The Avenger does not chill.

The Avenger, not dealing well with doing nothing, tries to find his own way out.

This goes poorly. 

Level 1 of intruder management, and it’s already overkill.

One tells the Avenger to run through a door at the end of the corridor he’s trapped in, and the Avenger does. 

On the other side of the door we find this.

Three?

One, now appearing in cyberspace, says that the impostor in the Avenger’s body was too hostile when told he couldn’t leave. And when One later detected the trace of a direct path to a protected memory location, he became even more suspicious. 

The real Avenger is more annoyed at being stuck in a fishbowl and would like some details about what happened. Well, the Avenger, when in cyberspace, has personality files that can be transferred. And that’s basically what happened, someone switched out the files in the Avenger-body hanging around in cyberspace with something else.

Fake!Avenger tries to claim this is all a trap, and One agrees. Fake!Avenger walked right into it, just like One planned.

The smugness is delightful.

Fake!Avenger admits that this was clever, but he already has the Avenger’s body, so. The Avenger asks who he is, and we get this lovely image.

Of all the things in this issue, this image actually disturbs me the most.

One recognizes Two… okay…. And we get the villain rant. It’s pretty much the same as the first time.

The Avenger asks for suggestions on how to deal with this problem, but One doesn’t have one. With the way the system is set up, Two has a direct line to the Avenger’s body and will take control if he’s let out. They can do some things, leading to this nonsense.

"Who’s a good boy” is the obvious joke, but I’m gonna go with it. Who’s a good boy? Not you. Definitely not you.

But in the end, Two has the upper hand and threatens to erase the Avenger if he’s not let out.

One gives in.

The Avenger says "Stop”.

This issue got dark fast, by the way. Murder, murder, suicide doesn’t even register as out of the ordinary.

He asks One to shut down everything, all power to the computer system. This means that all three of them will die. 

One gets ready, the Avenger stands strong and Two panics. He switches places with the Avenger again, muttering about how he didn’t take the spirit of sacrifice into consideration. 

Your dedication to heroic poses and one-liners is an inspiration.

In the real world, the Avenger gets out of the bubble. One is impressed, the role of superhero suits the Avenger well now. 

When asked, One says that Two is back in standby mode. There also one other anomaly the Avenger needs to be made aware of. 

While leading Two into the trap, One tried to copy the protected memory location to examine it in peace. This process was interrupted by Two, with the unexpected result of creating a Cyber-Avenger. 

Cyber-space is now safe.

And again it seems like Everett’s alterations have made things better for Earth. 

Not that he’s happy, this doesn’t help him at all, it just makes the Avenger an even bigger problem. Luckily, none of these changes are permanent. 

Meanwhile, the senior monks are getting serious, moving on from looking to using magic to find the book-thief. Everett blocks the spell for now, just enough to give himself one more try.

Alternate timeline 3 (Day of the Cold Sun).

Everett prevents Lyla from helping the Avenger from stopping the reactor blowing up, and a large part of Duckburg is destroyed as we were told would happen in the original… original timeline. The Raider gets the Avenger out of there, just in time, but everyone else within range of the explosion…

And Everett cuts of here, because this is obviously not helping... nah, of course not. 

This is actually awful. A+ to everyone involved.

In Time Ø, Lyla has asked to be suspended, but her request has been denied as her knowledge is too valuable when it comes to stopping the timecriminal known as the Retaliator. In-universe we seem to have gotten all the was to #33 The Day That Will Come.

The Raider invades Time Ø, and Retaliator is with him. And Kronin. They must have gotten him out earlier, or prevented his arrest to being with.

How is the Avenger not the best name for someone driven by a desire for vengance?  I question your life choices.

It’s the Avenger, and we learn that it wasn’t just a large part of Duckburg being destroyed, as originally stated. Instead, there’s now no one left.

Nooo, One! 

Suggesting that the delay in the reactor going boom caused a bigger explosions. Slow clap for the Time Police, people. I also fail to see how that’s in any way helpful to anything, Everett.

Kronin demand the release of the prisoners, and the Time Police folds like wet tissue paper. Because 90% of them are useless.

Lyla tries to talk to the Avenger, but he won’t listen.

THIS IS NOT HELPING. 

She doesn’t give up though and finally she reveals that she had made her own deal with the Raider. She was sure she’d be discovered and activated if she tried to help openly, so she would hand them over to the Time Police and in the confusion activate the othership, sending the inhabitants of Duckburg to a different dimension. Frightened, but alive.

I realize this is supposed to be a happy ending, but… One is still dead. And being an adult, well, if what we’re shown is where the Duckburgians are then they are stuck in a place where they’ve had to learn to hunt with spears, gather food, a place with no medicine… yeah, quite a lot of them are dead from diseases, injuries, most likely starvation, poisoning, etc. And that’s without the assholes who’d see this as a chance to be the big man around, by any means necessary.

So, again, NOT HELPING. Everett. Lyla.

This revelation explains why the Raider cared to rescue the Avenger and of course, causes the Avenger to turn on the Raider.

Kronin shoots Lyla to shut her up, and stops the Avenger from doing any damage. The Avenger is locked up with the Time Police, and they’re going to be forced into the cells and frozen for a very long time. 

The Avenger laughs, claiming it’s because he’s noticed that sometimes things go contrary to what one would expect, giving the Time Police commander a significant look.

The commander gets the hint, demonstrating that he’s not stupid at least, and when everyone is forced into the cells they remain safe while the villains outside are frozen. 

Seems a bit too easy, but okay.

They exit the cells, immediately beginning to move the villains back to their cells. The Avenger goes to Lyla, who was so damaged by Kronin’s blaster that she dies in his arms. 

I hate this timeline.

Like he did with Gina, the Avenger refuses to let them reactivate Lyla. You can do that with machines, not people. 

The Time Police commander goes right back to useless as he tries to have the Avenger arrested, but a release order arrives just in time for this to be avoided. Apparently, there was a deal in place to facilitate the capture of Kronin.

Normally, I’d say «Odin did it!», but we see the interior of Ducklair Tower being destroyed and there’s  much damage to the upper half. So.

The Avenger goes back to his own time, to a severely damaged Ducklair Tower, the only thing still standing, and starts talking to himself.

For once, fair enough.

He couldn’t let the repair Lyla, because if they did, they’d realize that Lyla gave him something.

We can rebuild her!

The Avenger goes outside, to a monument for the people of Duckburg, and throws his Retaliator uniform into the flames.

*insert sobbing breakdown*

Everett is baffled at this turn of events. Again, the new timeline is devastating. It’s almost as if the timeline he’s living in is the best one. He’d like to try again, but he’s out of time, the monks have found the cabin he’s hiding in now.

So he sets he book on fire, destroying the future we just saw, at least admitting that that shouldn’t happen. As the cabin go up in flames along with the book, Everett leaves while everyone else tries to put out the fire.

It turns out that the book is tougher than it looks, because it’s still there and recognizable. The monks still say it’s destroyed however, but the High Priest isn’t concerned about that. He’s worried about what has been saved, showing us that a page was torn out before the book burned.

As Everett walks down the mountain, he uses the torn out page to bring Lyla back to the Avenger’s side. He also realizes that he regrets betraying the monks’s trust in him.

Well, have a medal.

I am going to get a lot of use out of this one over the next 18 issues, aren’t I?

This moment of regret is interrupted by a flower growing out of the snow, making him realize that life tends to find a way. 

IT TOOK YOU ALL OF THAT TO COME UP WITH AN OLD CLICHE?!

And back in Ducklair Tower, the alarm is still going off.

This issue is a fascinating one. It’s a very nice look back at the first three issues, and it’s even nice to see how well the Avenger and One does even with these events altered. Everett calls them devastating, but, aside from the the last one, obviously, those specific events seem to have worked out better. Angus is lost, but Earth as a whole is saved earlier, Two is defeated earlier and is now in a place where One can keep an eye on him.

Now, we never see the consequences those events have on the timeline later, they could be devastating. I mean, it can’t be the first time the Evronians have met a species ready and willing to fight back and the much of the trouble with Two can just have been moved to a later point in time. But based on what we see… not bad.

Of course, Everett was talking about himself, so his view is biased. I just wanted to point out that our heroes are very good at their job.

It’s also setting up future events, which… it has the mystery of what Everett is talking about down, but I think the actual events of PK2 never quite matches what this one hints at. This suggests something… more? I guess, than the family drama we get. Maybe if PK2 hadn’t been cut short, it would have been different. 

I’ll have to get back to this later.

And that’s the end of PKNA. 

[bestfriendforhire]

Children of BFFH, Entry 11

 “Momma!” I exclaimed, running to her and hugging her gently.  Momma Emma wasn’t exactly fragile, but she wasn’t terribly strong physically either.  If she removed her enhancement suit, I’d have to be really careful.

 “Sorry for the long wait, Sweetie.  Ready to see Grandma?” she asked as she brushed her fingers through my hair.

 “Yes, but… Mind fixing a couple things?” I asked, trying to give her my best smile.

 She rolled her eyes and smirked.  Then she kicked aside some snow to expose the grass underneath.  At her touch, the grass was instantly vibrant, and I could feel her connecting to all of the plants as roots grew to touch roots throughout the area.  “Were you going to play a trick on me again?” she questioned, smiling at me.

 “Maaaybe.” I admitted.

 “Okay, so what is that?” she questioned, pointing toward the area where I left what remained of the bad guy’s clothes.

 “Well, there was this bad guy who came after me!” I started excitedly.

 She held up a finger for me to stop.  “You didn’t hurt him too bad, did you?”

 “No!  I almost had to save his life, but that was because his heart has a condition.  I was actually going to fix it for him.  Sadly, I overdid my calming spell, and he stopped being in any immediate danger.  I’m sure it would’ve worked though!” I insisted, thinking through my plan again.

 “No doubt.  Where is he now?” she questioned.

 I shrugged but said, “Calamity arrived and took him away!  I was going to help get evidence on him, but Marvelous Max beat me to it.  Still, I was able to help Calamity, Momma!”

 She smiled and said, “That’s great news, Sweetie.  Mind telling me what those used to be before you completely altered them?”

 “Cotton.  They’re not even cotton-ish now?” I asked in surprise.  I still thought they were cotton-ish.

 “Where did you find… wait.  You attacked him with his own clothes?” she questioned.

 “Umm… yeah.” I admitted, knowing what was coming next already.

 “Since this was someone bad enough for Calamity to take him, you get a pass this time, but there were sooo many more options in this park that I’d expect you to leave anyone else fully clothed, Little Miss Trouble.” she warned, still smiling a little.

 The once-cotton was now reverted to a seed, which was really cool considering it had started as clothing.  One day, I’d learn to do that just like Momma.

 I nodded quickly, not wanting to ruin my free pass.  “I’ll be careful, Momma.  I really will.  He was drawing a knife, and I kinda just reacted.”

 “Was he scared?” she asked.

 Remembering his face, I giggled.  “You bet!”

 “Can’t be mad at you for scaring bad guys, now can I.” she told me.  “Come along, Sweetie.”

 Momma’s Beetle was the cutest car at home.  The exterior was a vibrant pink, and the interior was black with pink highlights on the seats and dash.  As I’ve grown, she allowed me to add my own touches, like the seed deployment system!  We had seed guns designed by the quadruplets, with a little help from Poppa Jarod, that could launch ten different types of seeds with awesome precision.  A little touch of magic, and we’d have weapons even in the areas were plants were scarce.

 The lovely vine patterns throughout the black of the upholstery had been altered numerous times as I grew, since I was getting better and better at art.  Dea was still the best at the little details, but I really wasn’t bad these days.  Momma Mila never minded printing and installing updated versions for me, and Momma Emma liked the softness of freshly-installed upholstery.

 “I already warned Grandma that we’re running a little late.” stated Momma Mila when I hopped in the back.

 “Thank you, Momma!” I replied.  “Did you tell the Boss how well I did?”

 She nodded, smiling at me.  “Very well done, but he still doesn’t want you out on patrol yet.  You’ll have to be patient.”

 I frowned but didn’t argue.  The Boss had explained his reasons plenty of times already.  Arguing with him only got me somewhere when I had loads of evidence to support my case, just like a court as he frequently pointed out.

 Momma Mila had one of her bodies in the driver’s seat, pretending to drive.  Well, she was driving, but probably not with the body.  Switching back and forth was too seamless to really tell.  Momma Mila controlled thousands of taxis as well as numerous company and personal vehicles.  She was amazing at multitasking, often being more of a secretary than Grandma Death.

 Around Momma Emma and most of the others, I had to use Grandma Death’s other name—Grandma Aaliyah—because she wanted to surprise certain people, such as Momma Emma, but Grandma Death was the coolest.  Well, maybe tied with the Boss, but she didn’t lecture me so much.  She was wicked smart and constantly encouraged me to experiment with how things were done.  She even helped me talk the Boss down a couple times when I accidentally put people in danger, upsetting him.  Luckily, he didn’t mind so much when I only put myself in danger, even explaining why the others were upset about it.

 Even the Boss didn’t have an explanation I liked for why Messy was sooo cautious.  She always worried about safety to an insane degree.  Plus, she held herself back so much that she lost to Four and me more often than she won!  One day, I planned to get her to go all out against me, so I could really see how well I’d do.  Her natural magic was even more versatile than my plants, but she couldn’t poof my plants from existence as easily as she could most things due to the potency of creation magic within my plants, which made me an actual opponent for her.  Even heroes needed to fight one another occasionally to see how much they could take.  Auntie Portentia had illustrated the importance of knowing when to call for backup a few times.

 The drive to Grandma Mary’s took nearly forty minutes, but that gave me time to do extra school work through the displays on the back of each seat.  I was also planning my new strategy for the next time I was a leader in battle against the other kids, but those thoughts were often floating around in my head.  Few things were as satisfying as winning against Four and Messy.  I grew distracted for part of the drive as I considered different ways I could’ve handled today’s criminal without turning his clothes into weapons.  If I had known how weak he was in advance, I could have used much slower attacks.

 Grandma’s house was the easiest to spot in her neighborhood.  Tiny when compared with home, her house was the most vibrant I had seen in person.  The siding was vibrant violet with azure shingles and trim.  The fence was more in the orchid range of purple, but there were all sorts of ornaments in the yard.  Lawn gnomes, flamingos, and other critters dotted the entire front!  Momma Emma once told me that the garish nature of the house distracted neighbors from things they’d find really strange, like when she tended the yard.  I didn’t really see how that’d distract people, but I’d surely figure it out eventually.

 “Grandma, we’re here!” I exclaimed after beating my Mommas through the door.  The air smelled of ingredients for our dinner, and my grin widened.

 “Perfect.  I have everything you need to cook us dinner.” she replied from the kitchen.

 Jogging over there, I quickly took in the ingredients.  The vegetables were obviously grown by Momma Emma.  No one else could make everything so perfectly shaped or smell that good.  Shame that the garden in back couldn’t be maintained in winter due to non-magic neighbors.  “Looks great!  Should I start?” I asked, bouncing on my feet.

 “Of course, dear.  Want any help?” she asked, already sitting down.

 I shook my head and took a deep breath as I focused my mind on the recipe.  My cleaning spells prepared my hands as others bound my hair back to keep anything from ruining the food.  Chef Marco expected perfection in the kitchen.  As his student, I couldn’t disgrace him by making a mistake.  Today, we’d be having Marco’s third variation on a Japanese curry, chicken masala crepes with mint sauce, steamed vegetables version seven, and a mango and cardamom syllabub.  Grandma had asked me to make this combination when I told her about it last week.  With the ingredients here, she really was interested!

 As I prepared the food, the adults chatted about work, a couple TV shows, and what I’ve been doing lately.  I had to correct a few things, like when Momma Emma called my victory in the last battle a “near victory”.  Four had admitted defeat.  Momma Mila started acting as my sous-chef ten minutes into my prep work, which made me paranoid that I had made a mistake somewhere, but she assured me that she was just keeping us on schedule, meaning my mistake was in adjusting my speed for the allotted time.

 When I was finally finished and took my first bite, I was certain that Chef Marco would approve, giving me one of his big smiles.  Momma Mila agreed to bring him a taste of each, so he could tell me later.  We were leaving the rest for Grandma, since she really seemed to enjoy it.  Leftovers at the mansion were somewhat of an oddity, since Chef Marco wanted everything at its best when we ate.  Plus, some of the adults really indulged themselves.  Grandma enjoyed hearing about how I caught a criminal today!  After dinner, we played a couple board games.  Cheating at the dice rolls was so tempting after I got unlucky, but I didn’t.  A hero wouldn’t cheat to win without lives on the line.