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the-cult-of-russo · 2 years

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Just Beneath The Flames (Part 11)

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Warnings: cursing, smut at some point probably lmao, zombie shit, typical canon violence. You know the drill.

A/N: I giveth and I taketh away lmaoooo Honestly, no fucking clue where this is going, I’m along for the ride just like you guys are. Settle in for some angst and shit.

You almost didn’t get this chapter today, I’ve literally only just finished writing it. I wound up with writer's block like a quarter of a way through and started to think the story was doomed. I got there in the end though looool I’m not sure if chap 12 will be up tomorrow though as I haven’t even started writing it yet and I have an appointment to have my bloods done tomorrow and I still feel like shit so… lmao

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You strolled around the perimeter, knife in hand as your eyes swept around diligently. It had been almost three weeks since you all moved into the oversized cabin and you’d all settled in nicely. The place was huge, the lower floor comprising of a massive living area, complete with large plush sofas and a big fireplace. The large kitchen was on the other side, the whole floor being open plan except for a couple of closets. The top two floors were bedrooms, each floor having a large bathroom. The Liebermans, Matt and Foggy had the rooms on the second floor while you were on the top floor along with Frank and Karen, Curtis and Billy. You hadn’t expected to share a room with Billy, especially after the disaster of the kiss you’d shared, but it still took some getting used to having your own room. You missed sharing a tent with him, the comfort it would bring you. But you knew even if you had to share a room here, there would be no comfort to be found. Not anymore. In the three weeks that passed, Billy had become more and more distant with you to the point he barely even spoke to you anymore. You’d accepted the fact he hadn’t actually wanted to kiss you, accepted the fact he’d used your feelings to get you to do what he wanted. None of that mattered in the grand scheme of things because the friendship you’d had with him, the bond you’d formed, it meant far more than any feelings you may have developed for him. But that bond seemed to not exist anymore and that hurt you more than anything. You’d hoped that once you all settled in, maybe he’d warm back up. Even if he hadn’t wanted to acknowledge the kiss, you thought you’d eventually be able to speak to him again in a way that had you two back on good terms, but it hadn’t happened. You’d come back with the others and you’d all set up and with each passing day, he spoke to you less and less and you really couldn't figure out just what you’d done to deserve it.

It hadn’t escaped the others how he was behaving either. You’d seen the frown on Frank’s face when Billy would purposely brush you off if you tried to initiate some conversation with him, seen how he’d glare at Billy. You saw the curious looks from the others and the sad look on Karen’s face and you weren’t sure what to do with it. It made you feel isolated and lonely, just like the odd one out all over again. The others cared and they made an effort, especially Karen. She’d taken up your time with Billy’s absence, keeping you company and you loved her for it. Frank was also never too far away and always making sure you were okay and you’d even made a habit out of hunting with Matt and you enjoyed his company. But none of that compared to what you’d shared with Billy. He was their family first and you knew if he turned around tomorrow and said he wanted you gone because he was sick of looking at you, they’d have to let it happen. You hated feeling this alienated all over again. A week after being here, Karen and you had been in the kitchen cooking dinner with actual electricity which had been a trip and she’d told you not to let him get to you. That he was just dealing with a lot after the whole Rawlins thing. You’d allowed her words to comfort you, naive and stupid that was all it was. You’d let it because you’d seen him sometimes when he didn’t know you were looking, that lost faraway gaze he held like he didn’t know what to do with himself. You knew it wasn’t easy, even if he had finally gotten what he wanted. That was part of the problem. Because once it was done, there was an air of finality to it all, a feeling of being adrift at sea once the long-term goal had been reached. So you’d waited patiently, stupidly hoping that one day he’d flash you that smile of his and say something playful just like he used to, but he just pulled away further. You’d given up hope now, it was pointless. You didn’t think you were a coward. You’d faced a lot of shit head-on with this new way of life, but the idea of confronting him outright wasn’t something you could bring yourself to do. The only conclusion you could draw from his behavior was that he knew how you felt about him, used it to his advantage and then regretted it, worrying he’d given you false hope or something. And now he just felt awkward being around someone he knew liked him as more than a friend. You couldn't blame him entirely. You knew you’d feel just as awkward if it turned out Matt or Foggy liked you that way although you wouldn't be such a rude dick about it. This past week he’d gone from being distant to occasionally being rude and you’d gotten sick of it. You missed him, missed your friendship and the comfort it had brought you.

You rubbed your eyes tiredly, watching as the sun came up. You’d been taking watch more and more lately, your nights plagued with nightmares and bad thoughts. People hadn’t caught on at first, not noticing you offering to switch your shift with others and they’d been so grateful for the rest they hadn’t questioned it. But now, a few weeks in, you saw their concerned gazes when they realized you’d been on watch all night and barely had any sleep after. Once the sun was fully up, you sheathed your knife and trudged your way back to the house. The place itself was pretty perfect and you and Frank had even been talking about hitting up a garden center soon to get some fences put up and see if they had any crops to plant. It would be your dream to get that all set up, be more self-reliant. You guys could really make this place a home, you just wished you didn’t feel so empty inside. As you got around to the front of the house, you saw Frank and Billy through a couple of trees as they stood by the truck parked on the side of the road. Billy glanced up, his eyes locked onto yours and it made you bristle and you looked away quickly. Part of you wanted to be petty because of his behavior recently, to not look away until you made him feel awkward, but you couldn't. Your embarrassment over knowing that he knew how you felt about him and about the kiss outweighed the pettiness you felt. Annoyance prickled at you though at the idea of him trying to steal your garden center run off you. You’d barely been going on runs since you got here. Frank had given you excuses at first, saying things like there wasn’t enough room in the truck or he needed you here to keep an eye out. You’d bought it the first few times but started to get suspicious when it happened every single fucking time. Your suspicions were founded though as you overheard Billy telling Frank one day that he wouldn't be going on a run if you were there. You realized then that Billy had been the reason you were now excluded from runs. You tried not to let it bother you as you busied yourself here with all there was to do setting the place up and you still had your hunting, but it stung. This run though was yours, it was your idea to go and look for crops, to be able to grow your own food. You’d brought the idea to Frank and like fuck you were letting Billy kick you out of it.

“Y/N!” you heard Frank call out as you walked to the front porch. You turned around and he gestured with his head for you to come over. You felt your body tense tightly, much the same way Billy seemed to as he gave Frank an unimpressed look. You trudged over as you prepared yourself for what he was going to say. If he told you that you’d be staying back from the run, you’d end up resorting to violence.

“What’s up?” you asked as you got to them, making a point to not even glance Billy’s way. Frank's eyes flit over your face in a way that made you stuff your hands into your pockets and shrink a little.

“Karen said you took watch again last night,” he murmured, a concerned almost fatherly tone to his voice.

“Yeah?” you asked, looking confused as you shrugged at him.

“I think it’s great you wanna help out and all but… but I think you need to take a break,” he frowned.

“I can handle it, Frank,” you sighed.

“Of course you can,” Billy scoffed and your eyes snapped to him with such fire behind them he actually recoiled for a second.

“Something you wanna say, Russo?” you asked scathingly and he once again looked taken aback by the harshness of your tone for less than a moment before his face hardened.

“You’re gonna wind up getting us all killed,” he growled.

“Seriously?” you asked with an eye roll.

“You’ve been on watch every night for almost a week straight and you have an hour sleep at most after. What happens when your body gives out from exhaustion? What happens if you fall asleep when you’re supposed to be keepin’ us safe?” he asked roughly.

“Do you think I’m that stupid? Do you really think I’d do it if I didn’t think I could handle it, that I’d put everyone at risk?” you asked, offense coloring your face. Even if you wanted to escape your treacherous thoughts, you wouldn’t do it at the expense of your group's safety.

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” despite his shitty attitude lately, you really hadn’t expected such malicious words to leave his lips and you felt white hot rage flow through you, your ears ringing. Before you knew what you were even doing, your knife was unsheathed, gripped in your hand as you took a menacing step towards him. Frank quickly got between you two, shaking his head.

“That’s enough, guys!” he chided with a deep frown. Your eyes hadn’t left Billy though and a slow and dark smirk spread across his face, he looked almost amused at you with your knife, something sinister shining behind his dark eyes.

“You really think you can stand there and judge me for the shit I’ve done? For failing the people I cared about? Maybe you should take a long look in the mirror, Billy, ‘cause I’m not the only one that’s failed people,” you hissed viciously. His smirk melted right off his face, his eyes flashing dangerously as he stood up taller, but Frank put a hand on his chest, shoving him back roughly as he still stood between you. At the back of your mind, you felt a pang of guilt knowing the people you were referring to were the family of the very man who was currently trying to break up the fight between you. Frank either didn’t connect the dots or he didn’t bother to look into it.

“I said enough!” he bellowed. He gave you a very unimpressed look before he turned and looked at Billy. You smirked inwardly, noticing the look he directed at his best friend was scathing, much worse than the one he’d given you. Billy’s eyes hardened, the two men glaring at each other for a moment and you had a feeling they were doing that thing again where they spoke without words. Either way, Billy scoffed and shook his head, giving you one last glower before he moved away, stomping to the trees. You noticed then he had his bow and arrows with him and in spite, you hoped he wouldn't find a damn thing when he went out there.

Frank sighed deeply, his body relaxing once Billy was gone and you sheathed your knife roughly, still feeling anger at how Billy had treated you. You didn’t want to stick around and get a lecture from Frank about your attitude or about how you’d been taking watch too much so you turned on your heel and started walking to the house.

“What the hell happened with you two?” Frank asked, stopping you in your tracks.

“I don’t know, Frank. He’s your best friend, why don’t you ask him?” you asked sourly, turning to face him once more. He was frowning as he looked at you.

“I tried askin’ him. Tried ‘til I was blue in the goddamn face but he just says he don’t wanna talk about it, so I’m askin’ you,” he said pointedly, raising a brow and you clenched your jaw. You were a little surprised he hadn’t told Frank about the kiss or anything, figuring as his best friend, he probably would have. The only reason you hadn’t told Karen was because it was weird considering Billy had been her family way before you’d been in the picture, but you’d wanted to tell her just to get it off your chest.

“Before you guys hit Rawlins, he kissed me. He kissed me and then when you guys came back out, he was different,” you muttered. Frank blinked rapidly, confusion and shock all over his face as he glanced to where Billy had disappeared through the trees before back at you. It seemed like you rendered him speechless for a moment and you didn’t want to stand here and talk about the fact you’d been kissed by someone you cared about, only to end up treated like this.

“I don’t know what the fuck is going on with him or why he’s being such an asshole, but keep him the hell away from me. If he tries to use my past against me like that again, you won't be around to stop my knife being buried in his neck,” you hissed, turning around and stomping over to the porch and up the steps. You knew it wasn’t true though. No matter how much he would hurt you, you knew you could never hurt him like that, not physically at least. And you’d feel bad for how you spoke to Frank later, knowing he was only trying to help. You were over it all.

It was only as you got to the top of the porch stairs that you noticed Zach was sitting on the porch with a comic and he gave you a sad smile. You felt a bit shitty then behaving that way in front of him and you gave him a weak smile in return, feeling yourself deflate before you slipped inside. You ended up hiding out in your room for a while, not wanting to bump into Billy when he came back from hunting. After a few hours of you laying on your bed feeling sorry for yourself, your door knocked before Karen slipped inside, giving you a tentative smile. You smiled back, sitting up and leaning against the headboard as she moved inside and sat on your bed.

“You should have told me that Billy kissed you,” she frowned, being blunt like she always was. You hadn’t expected her to come in here and talk about that, you’d figured she was just checking on you.

“Frank told you then,” you murmured, feeling the heat creeping into your cheeks.

“Of course he did. I feel awful, Y/N. All this time I’ve been making excuses for him and it turns out he kissed you, which just makes it even worse what he’s doing now,” she huffed, shaking her head. While it was slightly embarrassing she knew, you were partly grateful because now you could vent to her about it all. You’d been keeping it all locked inside and it had been killing you.

“I just… I don’t get it. At first after he… and how he acted after… I just thought that he didn’t like me that way, that he kissed me just so I wouldn’t go near Rawlins. We both know what he’s like, he’s not above lying or manipulation to get what he wants. If he thinks he’s doing the right thing then it’s worth it to him. And the idea of him using my own feelings against me sucked but I got it, I wasn’t mad. When he started pulling away I figured I made him awkward. Like he saw me as a little sister or something and he knew how I felt now so he was uncomfortable. But now he’s just acting like an asshole and honestly, it doesn't matter how I feel about him, I don’t think I deserve that,” you frowned, hurt lacing your voice. She scooted closer to you, taking your hand that had been anxiously picking at a thread on your jeans.

“You don’t deserve that. I really don’t know what’s gotten into him. I didn’t know him before… before the Castles, but Frank told me he hadn’t been the same since what happened to them. And before the world fell, he didn’t really do relationships, he was a bit of a player. He finds it hard to let people in, to trust them. It took him a while to even accept Matt and Foggy. But with you… he just clicked with you and sometimes, it was like he trusted you just as much as he trusted Frank. It surprised all of us. I don’t… I don’t understand why he’s doing this now,” she muttered sadly.

“I really thought we could try to get our friendship back on track. I thought that maybe if he warmed up a bit, I could show him I could hide my feelings and we could move past it all. But now… he knows I care about him yet he’s hurting me and I’m not gonna sit there and let him,” you sighed and Karen squeezed your hand.

“Maybe I could talk to him-” she started softly and you shook your head quickly.

“No. No, it’s too awkward. I’ll just stay out of his way and hopefully he’ll stay out of mine. Maybe he’ll stop being an asshole and we can go back to being strangers,” you muttered tensely. The idea made your chest ache but it would be better than whatever the fuck this was now. You hated him being so cruel to you like this and you knew it would only make things bad for everyone else in the group. You weren’t the type to sit there and let someone be rude to you, no matter who it was. You knew if he kept up with his bullshit, the pair of you were going to have some very bad fights and you didn’t want the others to have to put up with that, especially not the kids. You changed the subject after that, asking Karen what she was planning for dinner and luckily, she’d let you steer the talk away from Billy. After a while, she left but not before informing you that you wouldn’t be on watch tonight so you knew you were in for a rough night. Deciding not to dwell on it, you got off your ass and left your room since you had laundry duty. Karen had offered to do it for you so you could get some rest but you had politely declined. If you slept now there would be no way you’d sleep tonight.

You went downstairs and grabbed the large basket that held all the dirty laundry in it, hauling it up before you left out of the back door in the kitchen. The creek that had been near your old camp ran through here too and wasn’t too far from the back of the cabin. You’d all decided it was best to clean the clothes there instead of using the water in the cabin as you didn’t want to push your luck with it. You had no idea if it would crap out on you eventually. When you got to the creek, you tried to let the sounds of nature soothe you as you got to work. You emptied the clothes from the basket, a bar of soap in the bottom of it. The air was cold but the water was colder and you tried to ignore how it bit into your hands as you started to wash the clothes, wetting them before getting them soapy and rinsing them again. It took what felt like forever and your hands were numb when you were done. You tossed the wet clothes back into the basket haphazardly before making your way to the side of the cabin where a makeshift clothesline hung between the trees. You got the clothes off it that had been drying since the last laundry shift, them taking longer to dry in the cold. You chucked them in a pile on a rock before you started to hang up the newly wet clothes and then you started to fold all the other dry clothes up neatly, sorting them into piles before putting them into the basket. You picked up the basket and started making your way around the front of the house, but as you got to the corner, you noticed Billy sitting on the porch steps. You quickly ducked back behind the corner before he saw you, rolling your eyes at your own cowardice to even face him. You felt too raw and you didn’t want to have to deal with him being cruel to you again. You heard the front door open and close and you hoped Billy had gone inside, but you were wrong.

“Hey, uncle Billy,” Zach murmured and it sounded like he sat beside Billy.

“Hey, little man,” Billy replied softly. You glanced to the other end of the house, deciding on just going around the back and through the kitchen. You had no desire to stay here and listen in. Well, you hadn’t until Zach said something that made your feet take root to the floor.

“Why are you so mean to Y/N?” he asked bluntly. Your hands tightened around the basket and you could just imagine the curious look on the boy's face. You hated that it had been something he’d noticed, hated the tension the group could see. Billy was silent for a long moment and you started to wonder if he would even answer him. You wouldn't lie and say you weren’t curious about his answer, wanting one yourself.

“It’s just… grown up stuff,” Billy replied tensely and you had to clamp your mouth closed as you almost scoffed at the cop out answer.

“Grown up stuff?” Zach asked, he himself sounding like he knew it was a pile of shit.

“It’s complicated, alright?” Billy sighed.

“How is it complicated? You used to be close friends and now you’re just mean to her. She never smiles anymore and she's always just sad. Sometimes… sometimes she cries when she takes watch at night,” Zach murmured sadly and your head whipped to the side as if you’d be able to see through the building right to him. You felt shame burrow deep inside of you that he somehow knew about that and you could hear your heartbeat in your ears.

“What?” Billy asked slowly.

“Sometimes… I can’t sleep at night. So I sit by my window to look at the stars and… I’ve seen her sometimes… crying by the trees,” Zach answered quietly. You swallowed thickly, cursing yourself for being so stupid. Although in your defense, you’d hardly expected anyone to be able to see you. It hadn’t happened too often but sometimes the whole thing got too much for you. It hadn’t just been Billy to make you cry but it hadn’t really helped with all your already existing issues. Billy didn’t reply to that and you wondered what was going through his head. You hated the idea of him having more ammunition to throw at you at some point, the idea of him throwing this in your face would be humiliating.

“I might not be a grown up and maybe I don’t get it ‘cause I’m a kid but… mom always tells me and Leo to be kind to people, that they have their own struggles. I don’t know why you and Y/N aren’t friends anymore but you might wanna be kinder to her. This new world is scary… you don’t know how long she’ll be around,” with those ominous parting words you didn't think a kid would be capable of, it sounded like he got up and went inside. You heard Billy blow out a breath and you frowned to yourself, forcing yourself to walk to the other end of the house to go through the back, not wanting Billy to catch you there. You’d thought the kids were doing okay but the way Zach spoke made you think he was becoming a little jaded and you hated it.

You walked through the back door and surprisingly, Zach was already in the kitchen with Sarah and Karen who were getting started on dinner. You felt your cheeks flush at remembering his words and he came over to you, giving you a smile.

“Can I help?” he asked, glancing to the basket in your hands.

“It’s okay, I got it,” you said, a grateful smile on your face. He frowned a little though and you felt bad.

“Actually… you could take these up. These are for everyone on your floor,” you murmured as you got out the clothes that belonged to everyone on the second floor. He grinned then, looking happy to be useful and you wondered if he was starting to feel a little like a spare part here. If he was getting to the age where he wanted to start to feel useful and to be doing stuff to help out. He took the pile of clothes at the same time the front door opened. Your eyes flit over to see Billy come in but you looked away before he saw you, not wanting him to start anything. You could feel his eyes burning into you as Zach took the clothes before he trotted off up the stairs.

“Dinner won’t be too long,” Sarah murmured, squeezing your arm as she smiled at you and you nodded.

“I’ll just finish up with these,” you replied. As you made your way to the stairs, Billy was now nowhere to be found so you mused he’d gone to his room. You went to the third floor, going into the rooms and placing people's clothes on their bed. The rule was that if they were in the room, you didn’t just walk in, but you knew everyone else was downstairs so it was fine. You went in and out of the rooms before all that was left was yours and Billy’s clothes. You decided to go and put yours away first, getting it out of the way. You walked into your room, setting the basket on the bed before you put your clothes away. You stared at the clothes in the basket left, a dull ache starting in your chest. One hand came up to the necklace still around your neck that you hadn’t been able to bring yourself to take off. It was comforting and painful all at the same time with it still on and your fingers toyed with the moon pendant for a second before you sighed and slipped it back under your top. You grabbed the basket with one hand, Billy’s clothes in the other. You knew he was in his room so you’d just leave them outside. You would have done anyway, not wanting to just walk into his room even if he wasn’t in there. Just as you got to his door, it opened and you blinked up at him as he looked mildly shocked to see you. Your jaw set then, your eyes averting his. A petty part of you wanted to toss his neatly folded clothes to his feet but you pushed it down, holding his clothes out to him without looking at him or saying a word.

“Thanks…” he murmured, his voice soft and quiet as he took them from you. Not wanting to stick around in case he decided to start being a dick again, you turned away and started walking down the hall.

“Y/N,” his voice stopped you and you tensed, knuckles turning white with how hard you were clutching the basket. You turned around apprehensively and he was standing outside of his door. His eyes didn’t land on you, looking everywhere else instead as he stood there rigidly and rolled his shoulder.

“I uh…” his mouth floundered for a moment and stupid hopeful part of you wondered if he might apologize for how he’d been behaving after Zach’s words. That maybe it had shown him just how shitty he was being.

“It… it doesn’t matter,” he muttered, his brows creasing a little. You shook your head, a bitter smile painting your lips before you turned away once more and made your way down the stairs. You should know better than to be hopeful about anything. You tried to ignore the stinging disappointment as you went and put the basket where it belongs in the kitchen before walking into the living area where everyone usually had dinner. There were three big sofas and two armchairs but it still wasn't room for everyone. The kids were in their usual spot on the plush fur rug by the fireplace as they ate, their parents on one of the sofas. Matt and Foggy were on another sofa and Curtis was sitting in an armchair. Karen was handing out food, Frank on the last sofa with a spot for her and for Billy and you took residence on the other armchair that you’d practically claimed as yours. You gave Karen a smile as she handed you a bowl of soup and you dug into it. You all ate together but you didn’t sit around waiting for everyone to be seated to eat. Billy came down a few minutes later and you felt your appetite wane as he glanced over at you. He moved over to sit with Frank who gave him a look before Karen gave him his soup.

The next day, you were standing by the truck as you made sure you had all of your stuff ready. Dinner the night before had been as awkward as it usually was when someone was purposely not talking to you but you had decided to just ignore it. You were excited for the run today, your run, and you and Frank were by the truck as you waited for Micro to come out as he’d be joining you both. You had no idea if you’d find what you were looking for there but it was worth a try and you were excited to just get out for once. You were sick of Billy stopping you going on runs. Micro came out, a lopsided grin on his face directed at you and Frank as he came over, shuffling the backpack on his shoulder.

“We ready to go?” he asked. He also looked excited to go out. He hadn’t been in a while as he'd been with Sarah but you were pretty sure she was feeling a little smothered since she’d been adamant he came along.

“Yep,” you grinned as Micro hopped into the bed of the truck, excitement thrumming through you as you glanced to Frank. He had a weird look on his face like he was deep in thought and you are about to ask him what was wrong. That was before the front door opened and you looked over, seeing Billy walking right towards the truck, his knife and gun on him. You narrowed your eyes, head whipping to Frank who shifted on his feet.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you muttered to him and he gave you a sheepish look, unable to meet your eyes.

“He really wanted to come,” he shrugged and you scoffed.

“And I’ve really wanted to go on a bunch of runs since being here and I’ve not been able to go ‘cause his Highness didn’t want me there,” you hissed. His eyes snapped to you then, shocked and slightly guilty. You’d never told Frank you’d overheard his conversation with Billy that day, you’d just allowed him to feed you his bullshit excuses until you stopped bothering to ask to go along.

“Y/N,” Frank started, guilt coating his voice but he was cut off as Billy finally got to the truck.

“Ready?” he asked, looking at Frank and not at you.

“You’re not coming,” you bit out, giving him a sour look. He dragged his dark eyes to you then, an amused and patronizing smirk on his lips.

“Is that right?” he asked teasingly and your eyes narrowed to slits.

“We could use another set of hands here, Y/N,” Frank tried to soothe, giving you a look that asked you to drop it.

“Then ask Matt to come,” you muttered blandly.

“Sorry, sweetheart, but your little blind boyfriend’s busy,” Billy smirked coldly and your brows almost flew off your head as you looked at him.

“Jesus Christ, that's enough! Stop with the jealous, petty bullshit, Bill. And Y/N, I know this is your run but I could use his help. You’ll go off with Micro to get your shit, I’ll take Bill to help with mine. Stop actin’ like a pair of fuckin’ kids,” Frank snapped, giving you both a firm look before he hopped into the driver’s side and slammed the door. You pursed your lips feeling like a scolded child but through the embarrassment, your brain wondered why Frank told Billy to stop being jealous. You didn’t even spare Billy a look as you moved around to the other side of the truck, opening the door and climbing in. You figured Billy would hop into the truck bed and sit with Micro and you were looking forward to the distance. It didn’t happen that way though as he grabbed the door as you tried to pull it shut and you squinted at him.

“Move up,” he smirked. You were sure your right eye twitched but not wanting to annoy Frank any more than you had, you shot him a glower before sliding up next to Frank in the middle of the seat. Billy climbed in after you and you found yourself smushed against Frank’s side just so you didn’t touch Billy. You didn’t miss the shake of Frank’s head as he sighed, giving Billy a look over your head before he put the truck in drive and pulled out.

The ride was too uncomfortable. You knew if it had just been you and Frank it would have been full of talk and banter, it would have been a good time. But this run you’d been looking forward to was now tarnished by the long-legged asshole sitting next to you and you knew he’d sat next to you just to piss you off as he sat there with his legs spread, taking up as much room as possible. You wanted to kill Frank for agreeing to let him come. The trip seemed to last forever and you decided that on the way back, you’d be sitting with Micro in the truck bed. It was less comfortable in the physical sense but there was no way in hell you were doing this again. Halfway there and Frank and Billy started talking among themselves about nothing in particular and you tried to tune it out as you wished for the truck to speed up. But then Billy shifted, his leg knocking into yours and your head snapped to him, eyes narrowed to slits as annoyance prickled you all over. He looked at you, his face impassive as his cold eyes pinned you in place. You refused to look away though, glaring at him and at your unwavering gaze, he raised a brow before an amused smile curled on his lips that had you almost throttling him.

“I swear to god, Bill. You wanna act like a damn child, I’ll treat you like one. You need me to turn this truck around and take you home?” Frank asked annoyed, a stern face as he glanced over to Billy who blinked at his friend, mild shock on his face. It didn’t last too long then as defiance crossed his face, his eyes hardening as he glared at Frank who was simultaneously glowering at him and trying to keep his eye on the road. When Billy didn’t move an inch, Frank slammed on the brakes so hard you yelped, hands reaching to the dashboard so you didn’t hit it and you heard Micro shout something from the back.

“Get in the back with Micro,” Frank demanded and you blinked at him before looking at Billy who snorted.

“That’s a joke, right?” he asked, sounding far too amused. Frank didn't laugh, didn’t even crack a smile.

“Does it look like I’m fuckin’ around to you?” he asked and you were surprised by the severity of his tone, the harsh look directed at his friend. Billy also looked shocked before he scoffed, shaking his head before he got out and slammed the door hard before he climbed into the back. You finally felt like you could breathe and you slid over, able to now sit comfortably without squashing Frank. You weren’t sure why you were the one feeling embarrassed, after all, it was Billy who had been acting like a child. But the whole thing made you feel a little awkward and uncomfortable. Frank looked in the rearview and once he saw Billy was situated he started driving again.

“You can punch him if you want, I wouldn’t blame you,” he muttered after a while. You smiled to yourself, leaning your head on the cold glass of the window.

“I doubt it would help,” you shrugged, although with the way you were currently feeling, you knew it would probably make you feel a bit better.

“Want me to do it?” Frank asked, a sly grin on his face. You had no idea if he was serious or not but you snorted and shook your head.

“I’ll get back to you on that one,” you smiled and he chuckled. You relaxed in your seat now and felt much better. You hoped once you got there, Frank would keep him the hell away from you.

“I know… I know you’re probably mad at me for lettin’ him come. In my defense, I told him no a million times but we know what he’s like. Woulda fuckin’ turned up anyway, figured it’d be easier this way. Asked him to behave himself but I’m not sure why the fuck I thought he’d listen,” he frowned with a shake of his head.

“It’s fine, as long as he sticks with you, I’ll be okay,” you murmured. While you weren’t exactly happy with Frank letting him come, you knew he was right. And you knew you were putting Frank in a tough spot here since Billy was his best friend. You were surprised he’d been sticking up for you as much as he had been but then again, Frank was a good man and even though Billy was his best friend, he wouldn’t stand there and let him be a dick for no reason.

When Frank finally got to your destination you leaned closer to the glass to see it. The building was huge, looking almost like a large greenhouse, the whole place made of glass and metal beams. It was surrounded by a high chain link fence and Frank pulled right into the car park. You hopped out of the truck as the others all got ready and you noticed a few large trucks on the far end of the car park, Micro saying something about how they might have shit in them from the last delivery. Frank was telling everyone the plans but movement through the glass at the front of the store caught your eye. You couldn't see through the glass as it was covered in grime, dirt and what looked like blood. You stepped closer, trying to see if you could gauge how many of the dead might be in there but then your eyes widened as you got a little closer and you took a quick step back.

“I uh… we might have a problem,” you muttered, eyes not leaving the building as the guys all turned to you.

“What is it?” Frank asked, the three men moving to stand next to you.

“Holy shit,” Billy breathed at the same time as Frank’s “What the fuck?” The dirt from the windows was being smeared away, revealing a sea of the dead inside that were pawing at the glass. There were so many and you felt yourself deflate a little. You knew someone had to put them here, just like the ones that had been locked in the carpark at the baby store. With how dirty the glass seemed though, this seemed to have happened a while ago. You really wished people would stop locking herds away like this because you seemed to end up having to deal with it.

“Guess we ain’t goin’ in there,” Billy mused darkly and you tried not to let the disappointment eat at you too much. You should have known something would go wrong, you’d been far too hopeful that you’d be able to get some crops out of this.

“Well… we could still look in the trucks, right? I mean, there might be some stuff there?” Micro asked hopefully. You nodded numbly, letting Frank put his hand on your back as he guided you away from the dead that seemed to be mocking you from behind the glass. Frank tossed Billy the truck keys so he could drive it up closer to the delivery trucks with them being so far away and you walked with Micro and Frank to them. Your annoyance of Billy’s presence had all but dissipated with how despondent you felt over this. When you got to the trucks, Frank used his knife to jimmy open the back door, pushing the rolling door upwards to reveal piles of bags. He hopped inside and you moved over to the door, noticing it was full of compost as Frank climbed over the bags and rummaged around.

“Nothin’ else in here,” he muttered, just as Billy parked up and came over.

“The compost is good though. Even if we don’t get any crops today, it’d be handy to have for when we find some,” you mused, trying your hardest to look on the bright side. Frank gave you a smile, grabbing a bag and handing it to you and you moved to put it on the bed of the truck. Billy went and opened the second truck as Frank handed you another bag and you continued to load a few into the truck bed. You were curious about what he’d found but didn’t want to ask him. You didn’t have to wait for long though.

“Buncha seeds, but they all look like flowers,” he frowned, hopping out of the truck. You climbed inside to check yourself and he looked almost offended. It wasn’t that you didn’t believe him but you wanted to check he hadn’t missed anything. He hadn’t been the one to arrange this run, the one to be so hopeful about finding things to be able to be self sustainable. You grabbed the packets, looking them over quickly and discarding them as you went. Roses, tulips, forget-me-nots. You huffed a sigh as you tossed them, getting frustrated when you found nothing useful. A loud shrill sound made you drop a packet as you jumped and you quickly jumped out of the truck.

“David! What the fuck?!” Billy yelled and you soon realized that Micro had opened the last truck, only to set the alarm off. It was loud and made your brain hurt and you covered your ears as a frantic looking Frank moved over to the front door of the truck. The door wouldn't open and he ripped his jacket off, balling it around his hand before he punched the window to break it. He quickly unlocked the door, hopping in as he tried to kill the very loud noise that would be drawing in dead ones from a five mile radius. Another noise hit your ears then as you watched the men clamber to try and shut the truck off and you stepped away from the truck, the noise itching the back of your brain as it was familiar to you. You couldn't place it. But then you heard it again even louder and your eyes drifted to the front of the store, horror sweeping right though you when you saw a large crack that seemed to spread from the bottom where the roamers were hungrily hitting the glass at the noise, all the way up, getting bigger and branching off. For a moment, you froze completely, eyes wide as if waiting for a tidal wave to sweep you up and carry you out to sea.

“Guys?” you called out, your chest feeling tight. They didn’t hear you over the alarm and they were already yelling at each other as they tried to turn the alarm off.

“Guys?!” you bellowed more forcefully, just as the alarm stopped going off and your ears felt weird at the sensation.

“What?” they all called back simultaneously.

“We’ve got a bigger problem,” you swallowed thickly, your voice wobbling a little. The grave nature of your voice had them all rushing from the front of the truck and as if waiting for them to arrive, the glass at the front of the store shattered into a million tiny little fragments. There was a beat of silence, everyone stood in shock, before a wave of the dead poured out. This was the most you’d seen in a very long time. Blind fear rushed through you, making you feel cold and your feet took root to the floor as Frank started yelling to get in the truck. Billy suddenly grabbed you, hauling you up like a sack of potatoes before he hopped into the bed of the truck with you, Frank driving and Micro in the front. The tires screamed as he put his foot down and the truck spun around since it had been facing the wrong way and you almost flew right out of the truck until Billy grabbed you, forcing you to sit on the floor.

The truck stopped and Billy started shooting some of them as they advanced, getting them in the head as they fell to the floor.

“There’s too many,” you muttered to yourself, shaking your head as your eyes flit around. They were blocking the entrance and you knew even if you used your bow and the others all used their guns, it wouldn’t be enough and would only leave you with no ammo.

“Hold on!” Frank called out and you knew he had his window open since you heard him clear enough. You didn’t have time to process his words before he accelerated again and you gripped the side of the truck to steady yourself as he took off. Your heart was hammering away, hoping he wasn’t choosing to mow through the dead. There were so many of them, you knew the truck would get stuck. Instead, Billy suddenly shoved you to lay on the floor, his body over yours and before you had a chance to understand why he'd done it, you felt the impact as Frank rammed right through the fence, plowing it right down. The truck slowed for a mere moment before he tore out of there and the deafening chorus of the dead started to fade away as you lay there. Billy rolled off you, the pair of you lay side by side as you panted and you felt dizzy from the adrenaline of it all.

“Fuck,” he muttered breathlessly and you nodded at the sentiment. After about five minutes of Frank speeding down the road, he eventually slowed before he pulled over. You knew the dead wouldn't catch up and you could only hope they wouldn't all stay in a clump and come your way at some point, but you thought the cabin would be far enough away that you’d avoid it.

“Everyone alright?” Frank asked as he climbed out of the truck, Micro following suit. None of you had been close enough to the dead to have been hurt but you appreciated Frank asking anyway.

“Other than the heart attack I’m currently having? Peachy,” you snorted as you sat up. Billy sat up to, running a hand through his disheveled hair. With that drama out of the way and the threat in the distance, the disappointment clung to you desperately once again.

“I’m sorry, Frank,” you sighed with a deep frown. Not only had you been the one to convince him to come here and it turned out to be a bust, but you all could have died over this.

“Nah, none of that bullshit, alright? It was worth a try. And besides, we got… we got the compost so, it wasn’t a complete waste,” he smiled at you but his words were firm.

“That wasn’t all we got,” Micro grinned and you all turned to him then as he grabbed something from his pocket. He held out a packet and you took it, a beaming smile splitting your face when you saw it was potato seeds.

“Where did you-? How?” you asked, turning your happy face to him. He looked so proud of himself.

“They were in the last truck, managed to grab ‘em before all hell broke loose,” he snorted. You hopped over the side of the truck, grabbing him in a hug that made him laugh.

“Thank you,” you grinned, squeezing him for a moment before you let him go. Frank clapped you on the back as Micro climbed into the truck bed once more.

“It’s a start, right?” Frank asked, a genuine smile on his face at your happiness. You nodded, clutching the packet tightly in your hands. It was a start. It might not have been all you’d hoped for but it was more than you left with. You really couldn't wait to get started with planting. You hoped one day, you’d have a bunch of crops and you wouldn't have to worry about food so much. As you got into the truck next to Frank, you smiled down at the packet in your hand, thinking about the future and that maybe, you might all have a chance at a real life after all.

Taglist: (if you’ve been asked to be tagged and aren’t here, it wouldn’t let me tag some people.)

@firexfate

@blanchedelioncourt

@ariesbutalibra

@sunshinedaisies-anddeath

@snowkestrel

@music-indie-tv

@idaofinfinity

@sweetserendipity65

@ramadiiiisme

@k-marzolf

@celestialams

@woowwwee

@noortsshift

#billy russo imagine #billy russo fanfic #billy russo x reader #billy russo

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markets · 1 year

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Markets nation, they always say that the lord giveth and the lord taketh away. Idk i saw it in a funeral scene on tv once. but i didnt really unnderstand this until i had MY VERY OWN MODEL UN ADVENTURE this weekend. now, what is MY VERY OWN MODEL UN ADVENTURE. well i went to a model un competition this weekend for fun And instead found such evils as a group of committee chairs who basically told my beautiful codelegate to kill herself. and also fun. but at the beginninng of the competitionn my codelegate and i noticed that these two guys in the table adjacent to ours were from a delegation that we had based one of our plans off of,So we decided to pass them a note so we could be allies. well,negotiations were A foot, and the blonde one asked "well whats in it for us?" i pulled out my codel's pack of gum and he said. And this is important. he said "youre smart, i like that". Well IDK what this did 2 Me but it worked. Idk ijbol so right then and there i decided to get some pussy at this model un competition. so i tossed them some gum and thought; later we turned to negotiate with them again and the other guy suddenly asked Are you in love with us. and the crazy thing is i didnt go Um um ummm or what no or anything i said I SAID. "give us a few hours". And oh my god is that not crazy i dont know whothat was bc then they continued the like jokey flirting and I FLIRTED BACK they were like oh we just want to take you out and i was like lets pass our plans first and we'll see and they were like how about you pass us that snap. Ridiculous guys truly but wellthey had an air of silliness the whole committee recognized which is a thinng i enjoy. and at one point i was like hey theres two of you and two of us ;) LIKE WHERE IS THIS COMINGN FROM. anyway here comes the sadness, bc they skipped away in the middle of the committee and ditched the next day of the competitoion. my theory is that the blonde guy felt sostrongly for me that he got scared of his own self and ran from his emotionsn #ijbol now ihave to unpack why him calling me smart drove me insane which is not soemthing iwant to do so i wont. can we talk about me finasly gettinng rizz instead

#this is me rn with myself. He would not fucking say that #angiemarkets.txt

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originemesis · 6 months

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[ sobs ]+ I'm sorry I thrive off malewife tears

They giveth and they taketh away...such was the cruelty concentrated at heaven's rotten core. Sure, they'd given him a sick pad to live in- but wait, he didn't meet the tenant requirements after the fact and had kicked him out on his ass. He'd refused to let that get him down and built his own patch of paradise in the territory called 'as good as it gets'. Even made himself a flock of sorts, and for what? For them to take both his sons from him in a squabble and eventually Eve too when it was just decided that having them both in the same cup of eternity's balancing scale would be too much for it to bear. Instead they thought he should bear the weight of their decisions. So, when Sera thought it was such a hard but wise decision to pry his lieutenant away from him next-...having decided that neither of them were fulfilling the purpose in which she even gave him her services having decided that he would be better off with another fresh Exorcist that could start the training effort back up again for his unruly soul-...fuck that. He went a little feral over it.

He'd lost it in the sense that heaven's embassy now had a steaming hole in the far wall- vaporized by a burst of energy akin to the desperation a cornered animal might lunge into when a step too far was taken. Thankfully nobody was hit, but unleashing holy lasers on a holy building like that earned him the wing cones of shame which clamped at the base of where the appendages met shoulder blade and kept him booted from the air for a time like a vehicle with an outstanding warranty for missed property taxes.

In the poor lighting of his apartment- also a wreck because if he wasn't able to fuck up heaven's embassy with lasers, then he was going to knock every little thing that came into his line of vision onto the floor, stamp and kick at it for good measure, he seethed to her while pacing wildly. "Can you BELIEVE this? Thinking she can separate us- if brains were tits she'd be the flattest fucking bitch, I swear-" Another hour or so of vicious lashing out at anything and everything finally came to a close with him backing her into a corner and just-...slumping down to sit with her, wings rising just enough to cover the fact she was there- a part of an awakened dragon's hoard.

The tears were an angry sort, wrenched from the corners of his eyes as his teeth grit and ground and his fury flared between vicious and exhausted. The wing clips were heavy and he'd been very animated even with them on. Exhaustion was creeping up on him and he hated it because what if they decided his tantrum wasn't enough and they came in the middle of the night to collect her? No way. No fucking way. Sleep was a myth now and never happening again. "They can't take you from me- I'll peck their fucking eyes out, man. The awful FUCKS-" And it was with that final fuck that his voice cracked just enough to convince more golden tears to well and trail down a clenched jaw which he shoved down and into the crook between her shoulder and her chest, grinding away to blubber and hyperventilate to the tune of an assortment of biting slurs.

If he could have anything...fucking anything at all- let it be her.

#//they get down mr president tackled his ass im sure #deathinfeathers #verse ; // the crusades #long post #suggestive cw

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strafethesesinners · 2 years

Text

WIP holy crap I actually have something day

tagged by many many people over the past few weeks but most recently I think by @direwombat @socially-awkward-skeleton @clicheantagonist @adelaidedrubman @henbased @ishwaris and @multiverse-of-themind

Tagging: @unleashed111 @depyotee @deputyash @harmonyowl @nuclearstorms @belorage @unholymilf @purplehairsecretlair @derelictheretic @josephslittledeputy @a-far-cry-from-my-main @havingsomemorejohnlarks @amistrio @cobb-vanthss @chyrstis and whoever else feels like sharing

Here’s a little scene from my uh still technically not begun reworked fic, a little ways down the line after John’s been kicked out. Other than that not sure exactly where this fits I just wanted to get it out here

John slipped from between two large supply crates towards a stack of barrels, as quickly as he dared. It was risky, but he had to hear what Joseph and Jacob were saying as they moved toward Cooper’s cage.

“…..due respect, Joseph, you don’t know this man,” Jacob’s gruff voice came through faintly but clearly as John’s two brothers walked a few feet from him.

“I do know him, Jacob,” Joseph’s voice was stern, but soft, always calm unless he had a reason to raise it for emphasis. John felt a twist to his stomach at the sound of it. The last time he had heard that voice, Joseph had been handing down his sentence. Not shouting, but in a ringing and final tone that quelled all argument.

“The Voice showed him to me long before he appeared in our church that night, long before he came to our county, even,” Joseph continued.

“Yes, Joseph, I understand that but…”

“You think the Voice was wrong? Or I perhaps misinterpreted it?”

“No of course not, I just don’t see what we have to gain by keeping this man alive, he’s” Jacob paused, clearly searching for the right words, “a menace.”

John knew exactly how Jacob was feeling. Cooper had caused Eden’s Gate no end of trouble since the war had begun. It was a miracle they had caught him at all. It must be difficult for a military man like Jacob to keep such an obvious threat alive. But Joseph must have his reasons, for which John was grateful. He hadn’t protested when Jacob had thrown Cooper in a cage; starved him, beat him. He was on thin enough ice with his eldest brother as it was. But at his core, he did not wish to see Cooper die.

Joseph and Jacob had stopped just in front of the cage holding the deputy. Carefully, John crouch walked between two empty cages close by, keeping the one draped in tarp between him and Joseph’s line of sight. He peaked out; Joseph was turned toward Jacob and Cooper so John felt he should be alright to watch if he kept still and quiet. Staci Pratt stood nearby, cowering, watching. Cooper was lying on the ground, apparently asleep, but sat up as the two men approached the cage. Joseph motioned for Jacob to stay back a step. John swallowed at how slowly and weakly Cooper moved.

“I know you’re in pain,” Joseph murmured, voicing John’s thoughts aloud, almost too softly to hear, “the Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away….”

Joseph crouched in front of the cage, bringing himself to Cooper’s eye level. Cooper watched him, his expression completely blank. John chewed at his lips nervously. Joseph was much too close. Jacob also shifted uncomfortably, clearly of the same mind as John. But he did nothing.

“You know I had a wife once?” Joseph began, rolling up his sleeve to expose the tattoo of his long dead spouse. Then he stuck his arm through the bars of the cage.

John bit down hard on his knuckles to avoid shouting a warning; Jacob leapt forward. But it was too late.

Cooper moved with the speed of a striking rattlesnake; he grabbed Joseph’s arm and snapped it against the bars like a stick of celery.

Joseph cried out, lurching backwards, but again, not fast enough. Cooper reached through the bars, wrapping his vice like hands around Joseph’s throat. He jerked Joseph forward, slamming his head against the bars, and began to squeeze.

“Pratt! Get that cage open now!” Jacob barked. He dashed forward and gripped Cooper’s arm, trying to prise his hands loose, all while Joseph spluttered hideously.

“Fuck!” Jacob swore as his efforts came to nothing, he let go and drew his hand gun, pointing it at Cooper’s head.

“Let go,” he growled, “let go or I’ll kill you now and face the consequences.”

Cooper glared up at him, his face twisted into an animalistic half snarl, half grin, but did not loosen his grip. Joseph’s grew redder and redder. Pratt fumbled with the keys but he was taking too long. Jacob steadied his hands and fired.

John’s stomach dropped. All the air stolen from his lungs. He fell against the side of the cage next to him in shock; most likely making too much noise but no one was paying attention. Then he saw Cooper fall back finally, bleeding from his arm, and sank to the ground in relief. Joseph was safe. Cooper wasn’t safe but he wasn’t dead either. Jacob pulled Joseph back away from the cage as the Father groaned in pain.

“Helicopter! Now!” Jacob shouted orders at his men who were just now appearing to investigate the gunshot, “the father is hurt!”

“The father is hurt!” The message passed through the men who scattered, fetching help as if their own lives were at stake. Pratt finally unlocked Cooper’s cage.

“You,” Jacob snapped at him, “see to his wound, and be careful! I’ll deal with you later.”

Jacob lifted Joseph carefully and hurried away. John exhaled slowly once they were out of sight. He was shaking. He realized his knuckles were bleeding where he had bitten them. He used the bars of the cage to pull himself to his feet and walked over to Cooper’s cage, where Pratt was wrapping a gauze around the bullet wound in Cooper’s arm. A film of sweat shone on Cooper’s brow and he was grimacing, but still he said nothing; made no sound.

“Cooper,” John croaked, and the deputy looked up, meeting John’s gaze defiantly. “Why?”

Cooper stared at him for the longest time, then finally, he just shrugged.

#wip Saturday #wip Friday #it’s both ok #oc: Cooper McCoy #John Seed #John Seed/oc #Joseph Seed #Jacob Seed #far cry 5 #far cry 5 oc #fc5 fic #far cry 5 fanfic #fc5 fanfic

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queenofbaws · 1 year

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Is this a prompt or is this just me blabbing nonsense words as I spew vast amounts of word vomit into your inbox? Who knows! All I know is that I've apparently decided that I needed to share this with someone, and that (un)lucky someone is you lol.

Anyways, for some reason I can't stop thinking about trash trio sleepovers. But not the events that take place during the sleepovers, just that little bit when they've all gotten into bed at the end of a busy night and are actually trying to go to sleep.

Specifically, those all too rare nights when Josh is actually the first to fall asleep, leaving Chris and Ashley as the two still awake. And I just feel like on those nights, they spend a frankly insane amount of hours forcing themselves to stay awake as they just talk. Bundled up under borrowed blankets and thankful for the darkness of whatever bedroom or livingroom they've crashed in for the night hiding tired yet utterly besotted smiles and completely enamored faces as they do their best to stay quiet so they don't wake anyone up, even as they can't stop giggling and laughing every couple of minutes. Just, like, taking about everything and nothing as they both selfishly not allow the other to go to bed, not wanting to put a stop to these oh so rare moments when it's quiet and soft and private. It's just *them*.

So they can't help but stay up way too late, until the point hits where they're both so overtired that their once carefully constructed and guarded filter starts to crumble and one or both of them is like seconds away from blurting out 'so I think I'm maybe in love with you.'

I've also decided that this is probably the closest that either of them get to actually saying anything about it, and yet it happens more often than either would like lmao. Like they probably get out the first couple of words before their brain finally catches up to their mouth and then they're making flustered and mortified excuses/realizations about how it's like 5 in the morning or something so they should definitely absolutely go to bed as they roll over and end whatever conversation they were having abruptly and seemingly out of nowhere lol.

And yet, when they get up grouchy and grumpy in the morning, you know that neither of them regret even a single hour of it 💖

(i am very sorry about this word vomit you are about to wake up to lol. Haven't been able to stop thinking of this for weeks cause I love how warm and gushy it makes me feel fhdkskdhdkshd)

There were a lot of downsides to Josh being a heavy sleeper - and 'a lot' meant a lot, the list running the gamut from the relatively harmless (e.g., having to find a way to wrestle your arm out from under his dead weight if you made the mistake of falling asleep in his general vicinity) to the downright torturous (e.g., the snoring) - but as the prince of horror taketh, so too did he giveth, at least in a sense.

Him being able to sleep through a mass extinction event meant they only had to pretend to whisper.

"It's really not all it's cracked up to be, y'know," Chris said, was saying, had been saying, the conversation about college life having long-since turned into something else by virtue of how many times they'd circled around it, turning it over and over again like a craggled rock thrown into a polisher until it became smooth, "I mean, don't get me wrong...there's a certain kind of beauty to just having to swipe your ID at the dining halls and not having anyone raise an eyebrow when you say, like, 'Why yes I do think I'll be having another burrito for breakfast, my good sir,' but...eh, sometimes I wish I was still here."

In the half-light of the basement, only the ambient glow of entertainment center lights there to cast a bluish cast about the place, he couldn't see Ashley so much as imagine her there, a faint rustle from the couch suggesting she'd rolled over or tugged her blanket up. "Awww," she teased, "sounds like someone's homesick, huh?"

That was one word for it, he guessed, though it wasn't quite the right one; neither was it the wrong one, it just...it was too vague, too open, too, too, too nonspecific, because 'homesick' meant you were missing home, but did it mean the same thing when the home you were missing was a person and not a place?

"Or maybe I just don't know how to function when you're not around to roll your eyes at me, you ever think of that?" he asked, and he smiled when she laughed, Chris did (because that, in a way, was its own sort of home, and another one he'd been sick for, if he was being honest), but he wished he could find courage enough in that darkness to admit aloud to her that he hadn't been joking at all - not even a little bit.

six sentence sat(or)sunday!!!

#love-fireflysong #six sentence weekend #queenie writes supermassive #until dawn #chrashley #askldfjslakdjf oh my GOD please do not apologize for this - now IM going to be thinking about this at all hours aksdjflaksjdf #thE WARM FUZZIES OF IT ALL!!!!!!

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amplifyme · 1 year

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I'm back-- catching up over this stop-and-start weekend~. ;)))

A Time To Heal: Diana immediately paying for help, hiding Vincent’s from the cemetery man's scrutiny, and taking him back to her place to doctor him. Looking in his eyes, listening to his heartbeat, staring into his face-- reversing the role Vincent played for Catherine, falling for him the way he fell for Cathy. (Interesting how he shifts between Vincent and Buster in different shots-- darker shadows, darker hair, etc.) I’m still obsessed with her mannerisms and style and personality and apartment-- you could say I’m a biiiiiiiig fan.

Father realizing their isolation could not ultimately protect; and Mary’s rote “love” statement holds no water when one man is alone. (Except Vincent is not alone, heeheheheheh, and love does have sway where he is, hehehehehehehh.) And I think that’s what I was trying to tickle and tease out of Father’s character: he doesn’t send Vincent away because he does not trust him; he lets Vincent go because he does trust him-- but he does not trust the world, the mercurial side of Vincent’s Other, the inhuman side of humanity. He wants to shield his son from those things; but those things always find a person on their journey to become a man or woman (what happened to Cathy in S1 E1, for instance. What happened to Diana in a good way this episode.)

Diana’s Diary-- the first time we hear her thoughts! (OCTOBER 10-- that’s just a month away, cool.) “I found Vincent…. The thought of him is too great to hold in my head.” Genius writing for this scene (and also, NAN, YOU GENIUS.)

Running in as Vincent goes berzerk, her initial raw fear, checking her gun, sitting up longer and longer waiting, watching him cry in his sleep, and finally falling asleep. Mark in and out. Vincent wakes up, asks if she’s Catherine, then falls back asleep. Diana pulling out the gun again. Vincent waking and breaking her door and collapsing again. Diana starting her vigilance again, gun still in hand. Vincent finally waking, fully present. Both he and Diana staring at each other, spooked. Diana finally putting down the gun. Diana offering him help just as he falls asleep again. Closing down her evidence wall, putting her gun away, keeping a more understanding watch. Vincent watching her in return. Both staring at each other.

Vincent and Diana’s first conversation. He recognizes her from the tunnels, she calls him by his name. Both of them in ripped clothes and messy hair and utter truthfulness. Diana giving him back the book of sonnets and quoting the last piece for her, triggering panic in Vincent. The words living in Vincent’s heart; and allowing Diana to tuck him back in. The path to healing finally opening up.

Mouse won’t let Vincent be alone. He and Brooke finding him gone. Mouse’s heartbreak. The council meeting. Father spurred on by Mouse’s ignoble intent, rising to action to try to save his son (The Outsiders and the Paracelsus episodes come to mind.)

Joe confronting Diana over leaving the case. Joe sniffing out her reticence and calling her on her lies.

Vincent finding Diana’s work wall. “Half truths and shadows”, “Maybe.” Diana penetrating the minds of other people and being afraid of what she finds; and Vincent asking/realizing she was trying to spare him from himself, even if perhaps she didn’t know it. “There was no imagining me”, and Diana agreeing.

FATHER GETTING IN A CAB WITH JOE MAXWELL. I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING. Poor Joe: giveth and taketh away.

Vincent: “She led me from the darkness. She sacrificed everything. And I let her die.” Diana reasoning with his guilt and parrying his rationalizations and excuses. “Vincent, what you had with Catherine. I could only imagine what it would be like…” followed up by his “I can only remember.”

Joe is back and repeating his and Diana’s first meeting; and Joe rambles about Jacob’s meeting while she stonewalls his attempts to reel her back in. Maxwell stooping to threatening and maneuvering to keep Diana on the case. I was waiting for this moment since reading about his confrontation with Vincent over little Jacob in Nan’s AWTN-- oh BOY, here we go.

Diana’s life keeps falling apart, also including Mark-- remarking on her distance and “glimpses” before breaking up with her. Another journal entry. ‘His sadness… it’s carried over into me.” (NAN, YOU GENIUS.) Packing away the case and wandering Below (and not bringing the wall chunk with her.)

Vincent dipping (of course) back Below and reuniting with Father. Father’s been preparing for his worst fears and Vincent’s sorry. Vincent reminiscing on the moral of the story with Father like he used to do with Catherine. Father listening to the music in the water like Catherine “taught” Vincent to do with the wind. Never having dreamed about Vincent’s child; Father losing any reservation with reflection; “so let nothing stop you, Vincent. Nothing” is a loaded statement.

Diana getting attacked and Vincent saving her and immediately insisting it’s not his fault despite enacting the exact same circumstances he had to live over and over with Cathy. Sidestepping that unsolvable issue (and knowing how best to attack an argument), Diana switches to insisting he will fail if he continues alone, then reinforces he is not responsible for her. “She was my world-- but I could not protect her from everything.” Diana insisting “I’m not Catherine.” Vincent refusing her help even as he sees her feelings. “Remember me as you would a dream.”

A theory concerning the bond: does the bond tie Vincent to the people who need him the most-- Cathy, for example; and did it break because she'd saved him; but a piece of that protection connected him to their helpless son? And because Diana saved him, it didn’t mark her, too? Just a random thought with no real oomph to it; but it'll keep me entertained as the series continues to develop~.

Parallels I've noticed between Diana and Vincent's other love interests: She, like Cathy and Lena, fell for Vincent before ever seeing his face. On a more Nan pertinent layer, Diana and Lena’s parallels go one layer deeper: they both fell in love with his face and his eyes and his hands the first time they met, and sat at his bedside. The difference is Diana already knows him-- feels him before they even met, still keeps a healthy distance even after first meeting him-- whereas Lena erases all distance and caution (as did Cathy, really.)

Now that I’ve lightly touched on fleeting parallels, I of course have to touch on their differences: Diana is shaken, not charmed or animated or enraptured or handwaving about Vincent’s brutality (like Cathy, like Lena in AWTN); and yet, she recovers and doesn’t let that shadow her view of Vincent, like Lisa did. She does not embrace that side of Vincent (like Cathy subconsciously did, like Father gave Vincent license to do in this episode) but she does not deny it, either (like Lisa and Cathy-- consciously-- did.) And immediately her priority was how affected Vincent was from the experience-- “It wasn’t your fault”-- while letting him know she felt the full gravitas of the moment. Exquisite~.

As a closing question, do you know the origins of the characters' names Above and Below? I was running amok with Father’s quote from the previous episode (“greater love hath no man than this”) as it came seemingly out of left field (though it shouldn't have, really); and tied it over to the biblical/Torah Jacob who was made lame because of an injured hip. Wondered if his name was on purpose or just something I’m overthinking. :DDDDD And I'd be curious whatever the answer(s) is!

*rubbing my hands together*

A Time to Heal. Oh, how I love you so!

"I got sixty-two dollars." Probably the best money she's ever spent.

I loved that there is no hesitation once it sinks in that she's looking at Vincent. Protective mode switched on and she doesn't think twice.

Looking in his eyes, listening to his heartbeat, staring into his face-- reversing the role Vincent played for Catherine, falling for him the way he fell for Cathy.

The moment she lifts her head from his chest and just looks at him, taking in the enormity of what she's seeing? That's the moment she falls, and falls hard. She is so tender with him. The way she brushes his hair back from his face. The way she cleans him up. The way she gently lays his hand down after she's inspected it, and then places her hand on his for a moment. Both times she lays the comforter over him, she lightly touches his head. She's a good soul.

(Interesting how he shifts between Vincent and Buster in different shots-- darker shadows, darker hair, etc.)

Yes! I love the way Victor Lobl directed this one. He and Gus Trinkonis were wonderful directors.

I’m still obsessed with her mannerisms and style and personality and apartment-- you could say I’m a biiiiiiiig fan.

How can you not love her? Are you beginning to see now why I say she is exactly what Vincent needs at this time in his life? The reasons will become even more clear as you go along. She is about as far from Cathy in outward appearance and way of life as one can get. And she has wonderful windows where Vincent can stand safely in the sunlight. 🥰

Every time Father utters that line about love holding no sway where fate has taken Vincent, I yell at my TV, "You are so wrong!" 😁

I love the whole sequence of events as we experience "two people watching each other sleep." I love that when Vincent first regains consciousness, he thinks she's Cathy. Why would he think that if he doesn't already feel some level of familiarity and comfort from this presence walking toward him? Hmmm... And all she has to do is tell him he's safe and she's there to help and he takes her at her word.

I love the match dissolve from Diana watching over a sleeping V in the darkness to him being awake and watching her sleep in the light.

He just trusts her right off the bat, doesn't he? Spills his guts to her and then wonders if maybe he's said too much. And then insisting that she not get involved, even though she's already neck-deep in this thing. He wants to keep her safe, God love him. ❤️

Did you note that when he returns Below and Father asks him where he's been, all he says is "Healing." He's very stingy with any details about where and with whom he was healing. Almost like he wants to keep her a secret from Father.

Oh, and the conversation about her work wall and Vincent asking, "You were trying to spare me from myself?" which by his tone translates to me as, "You think I don't know what I am or the things I've done?" and the way she immediately pulls the drape back. There's no room for empty politeness between them, only brutal facts. That's something he never would've dreamed of doing with Cathy. Or even with Father, in an earlier time.

“There was no imagining me”, and Diana agreeing.

Just my humble opinion, but she absolutely imagined him. Maybe not the details, but the uniqueness of him, certainly.

Diana getting attacked and Vincent saving her and immediately insisting it’s not his fault despite enacting the exact same circumstances he had to live over and over with Cathy.

And just how did he know she was in danger, hmm? I love how she told him it wasn't his fault and made it very clear to him that she's not Catherine - she can take care of herself. She's not looking for his protection.

A theory concerning the bond: does the bond tie Vincent to the people who need him the most

I've never considered that angle, but I wouldn't give it too much thought. As far as we know, the only true empathic bond we've seen was with Catherine, and later Jacob. When it comes to everyone else, he isn't bonded with them, not in that spooky way he was with Catherine. He's just able to pick up on feelings and emotions when people are close, especially within touching distance. And he's also working with a injured huncher right now, so what he senses probably isn't as acute as it normally is. But there's definitely something developing between him and Diana - maybe because she's an empath too.

Diana is shaken, not charmed or animated or enraptured or handwaving about Vincent’s brutality (like Cathy, like Lena in AWTN); and yet, she recovers and doesn’t let that shadow her view of Vincent, like Lisa did. She does not embrace that side of Vincent (like Cathy subconsciously did, like Father gave Vincent license to do in this episode) but she does not deny it, either (like Lisa and Cathy-- consciously-- did.) And immediately her priority was how affected Vincent was from the experience-- “It wasn’t your fault”-- while letting him know she felt the full gravitas of the moment. Exquisite~.

I could not have said it any better. You nailed it.

As a closing question, do you know the origins of the characters' names Above and Below?

I don't think that was ever brought up or discussed, but there do seem to be a lot of tunnel folks with biblical names. And I suspect Diana was named with the goddess of the hunt in mind, and Gabriel for the archangel. And of course Vincent means "conqueror." Beyond that, you're free to come up with your own fanon for the names.

Sorry I didn't weigh in on much of the other happenings in this ep. that you mentioned. I share a good deal of your thoughts and speculations and wonder at the episode. But for me, ATTH is all about Vincent & Diana and their immediate and strong connection. Their trust in each other and her instant protectiveness of V, even when it means putting her position with the NYPD in danger.

If there's anything else you would like me to weigh in on here, just let me know.

#beauty and the beast 1987 #season 3 #a time to heal #my beloved #discussion

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chim-chim1310 · 1 year

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I was there for JKs live - I didn't realise his announcement was regarding the music show, I tuned in because since they were together in NY, I wondered if something vaguely related to Jimin was coming out.

Anyway I will say JK mentioning Tae like once isn't really a big deal considering his entire chat is like 50% proclamations of Taekook, 10% about jikook and 40% just regular chat stuff. I can't believe I'm defending this man, but if he's doing fanservice for taekook, he's doing a very bad job of it.

Also anon is also slightly contradicting themselves. He deleted the jikook weverse moment but then proceeded to sing letter for fanservice. So he giveth and taketh fanservice away the same day?

I'm not saying JK never ever does fanservice, but I also think JK is just acting in a very regular and normal way. It's the shippers who overblow every small token piece of interaction as if it's the equivalent of them making out on camera. JK said he listened to his friends songs and he sang a fellow members song on live. If Namjoon had done this, nobody would bat an eye or call it fanservice. But because it's JK, suddenly it's the subject of so much scrutiny.

Again cannot believe I'm here defending this dude but just wanted to share my thoughts.

No I agree with you.

I mean yeah they do fan service but it's not with a malicious intent. It's just usually for attention.

But you're right it's always the shippers who blow it out of proportion. They're dumb. They seriously act like they've never seen two friends interact. Like grow tf up and make friends, losers.

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ilopisara · 5 months

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26.04. 22:14 | Ilo Pisara vs HC Dynasty 4 - 3

Ah, the latest spectacle on ice has concluded with Ilo Pisara edging out HC Dynasty in a nail-biter, 4-3. Let's break it down with the grace of an elephant pirouetting on ice skates. First off, Konsta Terde was like a maestro conducting an orchestra—except instead of violins and cellos, he wielded hockey sticks to tune up three assists and net one himself. Bravo! If creativity were currency, Konsta would be buying us all dinner tonight. Then there’s Yuri Tarde; oh dear. With ten giveaways, he seemed more generous than Santa Claus in December. Yet somehow, amidst this philanthropy spree, he managed to score a powerplay goal and assist another. A classic case of 'I giveth and I taketh away.' Macho Fantastico lived up to his name—not just for scoring but also for deciding that hitting anything that moves is a viable strategy (six hits!). He scored the game-winner too; talk about adding flair to fantasy! Jani Saari? More like Jani "Sledgehammer" Saari with those thirteen hits! Plus contributing significantly across the board—a true grinder by nature. And Teppo Winnipeg... well let's say if missing shots were an art form—he'd be Picasso. In summary: It wasn't pretty—it never is—but Ilo Pisara scraped through yet again proving we're as unpredictable as Wi-Fi signal at your grandma's house.

#nhl24

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rolandrockover · 8 months

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The Street Flies a Way

I would like to describe the intro and main riff of The Street Giveth and the Street Taketh Away as an airplane flying relatively close to a mountain range and never exceeding a certain depth because the pilot wants to enjoy the beautiful landscape from as close as possible. However, he should not fly below the minimum altitude either, because otherwise he would crash his beautiful airplane into one of the big mountains. I have to mention, this mountain leaves him plenty of room to do so, but basically he sticks to it quite well, even quite inconspicuously, and also flies some few nice-looking loops around it, presumably because he is an aerobatic pilot by profession.

Who knows, I don't know the man at all, I just think he's chosen a daring hobby. And in all probability, Gene is sitting in the front as a passenger anyway, waving a couple of dollar bills and telling him exactly what to do. "Yeah, fly in close, but not too close. No! That's too close! Further away, further away! You have to get closer again!"

And, by the way, because I have left it unmentioned so far, I think it's not unlikely that the mountain is actually Calling Dr. Love.

The Street Giveth and the Street Taketh Away (1989)

youtube

Calling Dr. Love (1976)

youtube

#Kiss #Gene Simmons #Tommy Thayer #Hot in the Shade #Rock and Roll Over #The Street Giveth and the Street Taketh Away #Calling Dr. Love #1989 #1976 #Roland Rockover #Youtube

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racingliners · 8 months

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F1 Re-Watch 2013: Round 16 - India

This race man... I was stupidly lucky that the BBC showed this race live that season and I just remember waking up before 6am to watch it and being so anxious the whole time even though I'm 90% sure that Seb lead the race from start-to-finish 😅

Anyway, I don't need to talk about how historic this race was bc we've all seen the gifs and picture of the now infamous post-race donuts (and Seb bowing to his car 😭😭😭), so let's just jump in (and at some point have a category 5 sebfucker meltdown)

ngl I have been saving this one and I had a mildly shit day today, so I'm finally ticking this off the list

(I'm still holding myself to have this season watch through finished by the time pre-season testing for this year is finished 😅)

also also shoutout to the Buddh International Circuit she was a real one

Okay starting grid overview: Seb pole (fork found in the kitchen), Rosberg P2, Lewis P3, Webber P4, Alonso P8, Jenson P10 and Jev P14

(iirc, Grosjean and Alonso were the other two podium finishers, but I know it wasn't the Mercs)

Helmet watch: the all black helmet is one of my faves. An iconic look for what turned out to be a very iconic race

"I will be absolutely stunned if that [Seb leading every lap] happens today" heh.

Formation Lap!

I do actually remember how smoggy it was during the race.

And the tyre compounds for this race were the softs and mediums

Now fun fact I learned somewhat recently is that the who reason why we see the TPs in the garage right before the race start and then suddenly cut to them being on the pitwall mid race is that no one is allowed to be on the pitwall during the race start for safety reasons (ie in case there's a crash and a car goes into the barrier between the pitwall and the circuit)

(you can tell that F1 is my autistic special interest can't you?)

[Start/Lap 1]: Oh Lewis had a super start and is into P2!!

and Massa gets past both Mercs????

and Kimi complaining he got hit by Webber

there's a yellow flag for what I assume is debris

[Lap 2]: jesus christ Seb already has a 2.4 second lead

THAT'S MY GOAT!!!

meanwhile Di Resta and Jev both pitted, not because of damage but to get the softs off asap

And Seb also pits, Softs for Mediums

Alonso has also pitted but he needed a new front wing too

I remember absolutely none of this happening

[Lap 3]: Anyway Jenson is running in P9!!!!!

(Jenson points were a rare treasure in 2013 and I appreciated every single one of them)

Start replay - there was a bit of concertina at turn 1 and Webber bounced off Raikkonen into Alonso. Lewis' start was so fast though 🏃💨

[Lap 6]: Webber moves past Raikkonen and up to P4!

Seb is up to P14, not that many cars stopped as early

[Lap 7]: Jenson pits for softs, idk what compound he started on

[Lap 8]: Rosberg pits, another softs for mediums

argh, Jenson started on the mediums and had to stop of tyre damage 😭

p a i n

[Lap 9]: Massa and Lewis both pit, Webber is now race leader and Seb is up to P6

there is a lot going on at the moment

[Lap 10]: Speaking of, back-to-back Webber fastest laps

meanwhile Seb take P5

[Lap 11]: The emotional whiplash I've been getting from seeing Stefano Domenicali on the Ferrari pitwall, sir please start doing a better job at running F1 this year

ANYWAY Seb up into P4 🙏

[Lap 12]: 🚨SEB FASTEST LAP🚨

and cut to Rocky looking icy cool

Gutierrez under investigation for a jump start, whoops

[Lap 13]: Seb into P3!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile Jenson has pitted again and is back on the mediums

[Lap 14]: and Lewis is in... P10. F1 giveth and F1 taketh away

aaaaaand drive through pen for Gutierrez and his jump start

[Lap 17]: and just like that the race has calmed down and I'm a little bit mesmerised by the cars just going round

with another Seb fastest lap for good measure

Webber and Perez are still in P1 and P2 as they're yet to stop

[Lap 18]: Pros: Jenson is racing Fernando. Cons: Fernando is P14 and Jenson in P18 😭

Another Seb fastest lap 🥰

[Lap 20]: So Webber has a pit stop gap ahead of everyone from P4 downwards. Maybe I did mis-remember the podium finishers

[Lap 21]: SEB INTO P2!!!

[Lap 22]: Fernando saying fuck them kids and literally barging past Gutierrez for P13

[Lap 23]: Unrelated but the more they play Perez's team radio's the more I think that his race engineer at McLaren is also his current race engineer at RBR

(after a quick google search they are not the same person they just sound very similar)

Anyway Jenson is still in P18 what did he do to deserve this????

[Lap 24]: At least Lewis is up to... P8 🥲

and right on cue a cut to Paddy Lowe on the Merc pit wall

[Lap 25]: Another Seb fastest lap 👌

The racing gods said to me at the time in 2013 that in order for Seb to goat Jenson had to suffer

[Lap 26]: The way Webber still hasn't stopped yet. How have his tyres not fallen off yet?????

[Lap 27]: and back to part 43 of the Mercs vs Massa

(Nico and Lewis are still behind Massa)

[Lap 28]: and as I say that Nico pits

meanwhile Jenson is up to P16. I'll take it quite frankly.

[Lap 29]: And Webber finally pits!

I'm starting to think he may have started on the mediums at this point since he now has the softs on

so *deep inhale* SEB TAKES THE LEEEEEEEAD!!!!!!!

wait Lewis is up to P6 THE RACING GODS ARE COOKING

I've never said anything bad about them ever

[Lap 30]: aaaand 🚨Half-distance klaxon🚨

Meanwhile Gutierrez is under investigation again, this time for moving under breaking

[Lap 31]: Lewis stops again and comes out in P12

[Lap 32]: and Seb makes what I assume is his final stop, he's on another set of mediums

And now Webber makes his second stop, he's also on the mediums

[Lap 33]: And I've just realised I haven't done a top 5 overview all race yet. as it stands it's Seb, Ricciardo (yet to stop), Webber, Perez and Sutil.

Jenson has pitted again... stop making him suffer

Just going to have to accept no Jenson points it's kinder to me that way 😭

[Lap 34]: And another something starting with S and ending in 'eb fastest lap'

immediately followed by Rocky telling Seb to manage his tyres dfjvhfdujhfubhfg

This isn't even peak brat Seb this is just regular brat Seb

[Lap 35]: aw cut to Nicholas in the Merc garage

The way India is one of a small handful of tracks that Lewis never got a podium at in his career so far. Proper GOAT shit.

(racing gods if you're reading this we need more Lewis podiums this season please and thanks!)

Crofty talking about Seb having the potential to match Schumi's then record of winning 13 races in one season, which he did go on to match. 🥹😭

That's my boyyyyyy

(racing gods please take notes I need that for Lewis this year as well please x)

[Lap 38]: Hearing that Ricciardo has gone over Pirelli's recommended max distance on his tyres fills me with a considerable amount of dread

[Lap 39]: thank god he's finally pitted

so a top 5 overview now that everyone's made a pit stop: Seb. Webber, Raikkonen, Sutil and Rosberg

[Lap 40]: Not gearbox problems for Webber AGAIN

aaaand he's pulled his car off to the side of the track

Pouring one out for Simon Rennie who is Going Through It™️ on the global TV feed

[Lap 41]: Ahhhh Sutil hasn't stopped yet, which explains why he's now P3

and thanks to Ferrari fully clowning and Merc being painfully average RBR would have enough points to win the WCC regardless

[Lap 43]: Ah Mark's issue with the alternator, not his gearbox

still pouring one out for the Mark girlies (gn) none the less

[Lap 44]: Somehow, after starting at the back of the grid, Grosjean is up to P4

hello?????? Lotus explain

ohhhh he's one stopping apparently

WILD

Listen as someone who Was There™️ during the great tyre failures of Silverstone 2013 one stops still make me nervous

dfvhfuvhddufvh the journalists going "Mark! Mark! Mark!" in the paddock sounding like the seagulls from Finding Nemo

thank you TV director for putting that on the global feed

[Lap 47]: Sutil stopped at some point, so the top 5 is now: Seb, Raikkonen, Rosberg, Grosjean and Massa

I'd ask for a Bono radio, but this race was circa 2013 BH (Before Hammertime)

Meanwhile, there is a five (5) car train scrapping for 10th place.

🍿

[Lap 49]: Now down to 4 cards after Gutierrez pitted but besties I am enthralled

(I genuinely am, I love watching the cars just go round)

[Lap 50]: A lesser spotted for 2013 Rosberg fastest lap!

also ahhhhhhhhhh ten laps left 😭

also also Rosberg really is catching up to Raikkonen

quite rude of me to completely forget him finishing on the podium considering my best mate at the time was a Nico fan

[Lap 52]: And Rosberg takes P2!

right after Seb is told to stop using his drinks bottle. I know it's been over 10 years but RBR I am in your walls

[Lap 53]: Grosjean just over 7 seconds behind Raikkonen 👀

[Lap 54]: Now 5.4 seconds holy shit dude

[Lap 55]: Not Seb immediately being told off for setting the fastest lap fvhdfhgsfd

The implication that there's potential gremlins of Seb's car, I'm sorry 16yo me you had every right to be worried

Not Seb being 14 seconds behind lapping Fernando dfvhfduvjhb

[Lap 56]: 🚨FIVE LAPS REMAINING KLAXON🚨

Lewis is up to P6!!!

"My rear tyres are gone" Thanks Lewis that's very reassuring

[Lap 57]: Grosjean, after starting in P17, is now in 3rd place

let's hear it for the one-stop strategy folks 👏

[Lap 58]: Meanwhile Lewis and Checo are still fighting over 6th, but the way Raikkonen's tyres are falling off it might become 5th

aaaand cue 3 car squabble

yoooooo Perez with the double overtake for P5!!!!

[Lap 59]: Seb on board 🥹

I swear I'm not getting weepy rn (I am)

Grosjean being told to short shift after one stopping jeez louise.

[Lap 60]: LAST LAP

can the camera please stay with Seb I need to take it all in again

It's too late for me to say anything cohesive but, go on Seb 🏆🏆🏆🏆

[Finish]: SEB WINS THE INDIAN GP!!!!

and is a 4 time world champion 😭

aaaaand cue floodgates

that! is! my! goat!!!!!!!!!!

Not Rocky saying Kimi was about to steal Seb's fastest lap fbhfjbhfjhfdb

I love him your honour

Okay before I start properly crying, the rest of the top 10 was: Rosberg P2, Grosjean P3, Massa P4, Perez P5, Lewis P6, Raikkonen P7, Di Resta P8, Sutil P9 and Ricciardo P10

okay now show me the donuts global feed

aaaand there they are 🥹

"I wonder how much that will cost him in fines but it's probably worth it" For once Brundle said something smart

I forgot about him climbing the fence and throwing his gloves into the crowd, if he'd done that now he probably would have been DSQd dfvjdfibjdfjb

Anyway, I'm gonna cry watching the podium but that was 11/10 would watch again. I will forever love Seb a stupid amount.

Best race - Abu Dhabi!

#f1 re watch #f1 2013 re watch

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