#he just expresses it in a different manner sksksks

[coffeewithcutcaffeine]

hello my darling lin 💞 i'm afraid i can't keep it to myself any longer, i must know all about your character tags, they're simply too intriguing 👀.

Ahhh, my loveliest Lizzie! Thank you so much for sending this ask my way, it was such a lovely and generous surprise to find in my inbox today! 🥹❤️ I have a lot of different tags for five separate works so, please, bear with me as I briefly try to elaborate on all of them skdskfjsksfjsk. I apologise beforehand for my seemingly endless rambles, though I hope it will turn out to be interesting nonetheless! 🥰✨️

VOIEVOD:

The majority of my tags come from my medieval magnum opus sksksk because numerous distinct characters are already detailed and elaborate in my mind — let’s dig into them! I do have to confess that some of these tags have yet to make a proper appearance, but I have prepared them in advance, just in case.

( oc: if i cannot move heaven i will raise hell ) — Vlad Dracula. This phrase is a well-known quote from Virgil’s Aeneid: “Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo.” I have always felt that it perfectly encapsulates Vlad’s entire life — he is quite the prototype of a Machiavellian ruler willing to resort to more violent methods if needed (which we know very well from history, after all). Throughout the works, he repeatedly acknowledges his belief that he is destined for hell and expresses his willingness to sacrifice his soul for the greater good of his people. And he is also a very strong-willed and stubborn person who will always find a way to achieve his goals, whatever it costs him.

( oc: sanctuary ) — Cătălina. At first, I greatly hesitated to use this symbolism as I truly believe this remarkable woman is defined by much more than her role as the royal mistress and the mother of the voivode’s sons, and I try to depict that individuality of her character. However, this role does significantly influence her life and defines many of the decisions she makes. Throughout their relationship, Vlad sees Cătălina as his sanctuary because she accepts him as he is, loves him despite his perceived defects, and offers him a sense of belonging and peace. Sure, he loves that she keeps him on his toes, but this acceptance and the notion of having a kindred spirit give him the feeling of healing and safety. He can take off the many masks and let himself be exposed as he is, deep down. She also serves as a sanctuary for their sons, acting as the family’s anchor since they spend most of their time with her.

( oc: golden child; lion boy ) — Mehmed the Conqueror. His tag comes from the beautiful poem written by madzieloss on Tumblr, with the whole quote going, “Golden child, Lion boy; Tell me what it’s like to conquer.” I initially tried to use one of Mehmed’s poems from his diwan to make it a bit more personal, but this particular poem works perfectly because it encapsulates Mehmed’s whole essence — the Sultan of the Empire, the gifted child, the great conqueror. I also love using the recurring theme of gold and sun for his character. Gold represents the splendour of the Ottoman Empire, as well as his personal visuals (a lot of rich clothes and jewellery, the gilded Ottoman armour, his ginger hair and beard). Sun is the lovely little dichotomy seen in his character as it is both radiant and invigorating (his manners, generosity, education, intellect, aspects of rule), and merciless and blazing (his cruelty and the destructive sides of his politics towards other countries). Like the sun, he can either help grow or burn everything down.

( oc: the dragon ) — Vlad Dracul. I hate admitting that I could not come up with anything even remotely unique for Vlad’s dad as his moniker Dracul literally means “the Dragon” skdhskfskdks. However, the nickname was used for a reason, and we do not fix what isn’t broken in this house. The dragon’s role in medieval symbolism reflects a complex interplay between themes of heroism, morality, and the battle between light and darkness — on the one hand, the creature is seen as a protector and symbol of power, strength, and courage, but on the other hand, a dragon also represents a cunning and dangerous figure. He is called “the Dragon” both by people who admire him and despise him, so it shows the double meaning and the complexity of a ruler’s nature. At the same time, the meaning also spills over to his private life as he is both a figure of protection and (unwilling and unintentional) destruction to his family.

( oc: of burning martyrdom ) — Mircea Dracula. The eldest sibling is without a doubt the most tragic figure in the entire story, and I wanted his tag to reflect the tragedy and inevitability of his fate. He was killed at nineteen at the hands of his father’s enemies and in the cruellest way imaginable, and the “burning” part hints at some of the circumstances of his death. In his own way, he dies as a martyr because he dies refusing to give up his beliefs — and he is a martyr figure because the majority of his short life is marked with great struggles.

( oc: keeper of secrets ) — Alexandra. This tag is supposed to represent all the inner turmoil and complexities fighting one another inside Vlad’s younger sister. Because the two siblings share most of their personality and physical traits and are also close in age (there is a three-year gap between them), Vlad has always had a fond spot for his little sister and always considered her his little confidante — hence the meaning of keeping secrets. In return, Vlad has always been the brother who has granted Alexandra the most freedom and experience. She also keeps many secrets because there is a lot of her she has to repeatedly suppress inside of her — as I have mentioned, Vlad and Alexandra are quite alike, but Vlad’s personality tends to be accepted more while the same traits in Alexandra are often frowned upon.

( oc: cel frumos ) — Radu Dracula. My laziness shows here once again as that is Radu’s moniker, meaning “the handsome” or “the beautiful”. Radu has been given a fair share of horrible portrayals in media over the years, so I aim to further develop his character and show the varied aspects of his personality that are frequently overlooked. I initially tried to find something that would suit his complicated character but eventually settled on the nickname itself as it nicely shows the irony of his life and the most defining issue of his life — always being disregarded and reduced to only a sliver of his being.

( oc: cel mare ) — Ștefan the Great. (Or, as I like to call him, Fane.) There is no possible tag that would fit the famous Voivode of Moldavia and Vlad’s cousin (Vlad’s mother was a Moldavian princess) more than his own nickname, “the Great”. He is considered a national hero in both Romania and Moldova and undoubtedly earned his monicker through his actions.

OPEN HEART:

( c: i rise with my red hair and i eat men like air ) — Laura Levchenko. Her tag comes from Sylvia Plath’s poem called Lady Lazarus and, although I wanted to find a fitting quote from Lesya Ukrainka to represent Laura’s roots (that form a great part of her being), this one has the right amount of sharpness and edge fitting for my darling spitfire. Her fiery hair is undoubtedly one of her trademarks, and the quote also represents an independent spirit that will not be pushed down by being seemingly “inferior”. It also shows her own stance towards men, beginning with the painful experience with her dad and marking her whole life, as well as people who look down upon her.

( c: veni vidi vici ) — E.R. This is incredibly embarrassing because I was desperate to find something better for Ethan, something more fitting for his character… but there it is skdksfksldls. I do not think this quote even needs any introduction, so I will mention instead that “I came, I saw, I conquered” expresses the way Ethan achieves everything he sets his mind to, as well as the ferocity with which he pursues all his goals. When we compare his character to Laura’s, it might also imply the briskness with which he achieves certain things in life as a straight white American man — as opposed to Laura who is not only looked down upon for being a woman but also has to face a lot of xenophobia in her life. (You also want to re-enact the Ides of March on him sometimes but… I digress sksksk.)

CRIMES OF PASSION:

( c: this ghost sitting year after year upon my heart ) — Milena Rosa. This quote comes from Federico García Lorca’s play Yerma, in Spanish being, “este fantasma sentado año tras año encima de mi corazón”. I have to admit that I have yet to get myself familiar with Milena and craft her character in detail the way she deserves, but we know from canon that Jimmy’s tragic death greatly defines not only her own inner life (because she battles with all the demons his loss has inflicted upon her) but also the trajectory of her future career and the purpose she finds in her mission.

( c: bleeding sun ) — T.T. Trystan’s tag is from Lucie Thésée’s Poem, and the full quote goes, “Handsome as life and poison. Sun-blood handsome. Bleeding sun.” This was an instant fit because Trystan is undoubtedly the product of the environment he grew up in — Drakovia is both a place of beauty and vibrance, but we know its regime is bloody and deadly. Trystan will also never suppress the essence of who he is, and his character is both full of life and somewhat fierce (sometimes even violent) in nature. A lot of my worldbuilding for the story comes from my own experience as an Eastern European, and this little corner of the world is brimming with endless contradictions, so I tried to come up with something that would evoke that as closely as possible.

THE WAYHAVEN CHRONICLES:

( c: i am the sea and nobody owns me ) — Kimberley Cunningham. Kimble is my TWC newborn that I have only recently crafted into a character she should have been from the very beginning. Her tag is actually the legendary quote uttered by Pippi Longstocking which, apart from its fierceness, also fits Kimberley’s playfulness and carefree approach to life. She is a rebel through and through in every aspect of her life, which stems from the disastrous nature of her relationship with Rebecca. Her main objective in life is to do the exact opposite of what she is told, and she enjoys shocking people around her. But, just like the sea, she can be tempestuous and unpredictable, and some of her decisions can be quite destructive. Kimble ends up in the love triangle which kind of mirrors the rest of her life — initially harmless fun turns complicated and messy.

( c: a ribbon of loneliness ) — Sydney Brannagan. My poor baby Syd has been characterised through his melancholy since the very first moment, so I needed to find this little nugget that would instantly evoke his inner world. Then I found this quote by Jenny Slate that goes, “I think I’ve come to terms with the fact that there will always be a ribbon of loneliness running through who I am.” Loneliness runs through Sydney not only in the sense that he is such a sorrowful soul, but also because a part of him always feels so detached from others. All his life, he has felt like he has to prove his worth to his mother to feel accepted, and he also unconsciously builds a wall around him as the time goes by. In the professional setting, his personality does not stand out in any particular way — he is diligent and polite, some might even consider him a bit bland.

BLEEDING HEART:

I do feel like I need to give a bit more context for this interactive fiction beforehand, especially because there is only Chapter 1 out so far. The story is a retelling of Bram Stoker’s Dracula through the point of view of Mina Murray, and the first chapter already explores several wonderful themes I cannot wait to get my grubby little hands on! I have a very clear idea of who I want Mina to be, how she struggles in the setting and society she lives in, and how her personality drives her emotions and decisions. I do not know if my personal HCs will align with the story as it progresses, but there is nothing this user cannot tweak to her liking skdhskfjfksks.

( c: growing fruit around cyanide ) — Wilhelmina Murray-Harker. Mina’s tag is a part of a poem from a collection called Swallowtail by Brenna Twohy and goes, “Peach pits are poisonous. This is not a mistake. Girlhood is growing fruit around cyanide. It will never be your for swallowing.” Essentially, it encapsulates the conflict between who Mina seems to be on the outside and who she truly is on the inside. I have always felt like the Victorian times were one of the most suffocating periods for a woman to live in, and Mina always has to suppress a huge part of herself to somehow “fit the mould”, hence how she grows fruit around cyanide. Just like the society, her relationship with Jonathan also suffocates her — her engagement is a choice made out of reason, but she does not feel fulfilled with him in practically any way, which ultimately drives her into the arms of Dracula.

( c: the master of the night ) — Count Dracula. His tag is just the tweak of the quote from Bram Stoker’s Dracula: “Listen to them, the children of the night. What music they make!” Since he commands all the creatures and phenomena of the night, I have changed the bit to the “master”. I wish I had anything interesting to add to his character but, so far, I am waiting to see what he turns out to be like in Bleeding Heart — I know we are able to make him be the big villain or give him redeeming qualities, so I will wait and see which route will seem more fitting to me though I do play around with the idea of making Dracula more redeemable and a different character more villainous). Also, Count Dracula the Vampire has absolutely nothing to do with Vlad Dracula the Voivode in my fictional world — I know merging the two into one character is very popular, there is even one novel that did this that I absolutely love, but… not happening here lmao.

[quirklessidiot]

Title: pretty eyes [short story] Pairing: Gojo Satoru x gn!reader [soulmate au; takes place eight years before the yuuji and sukuna fusion] Genre: josei, romance, fluff, comedy, and your normal tragic angst!

Summary: in which the right eye is mine and the left eye is yours and when we meet for the first time, you see your own eyes staring back at you. Warnings: language, blood, minor manga spoilers, mild ooc gojo and death

Notes:  can we all just sit down admire satoru? Like the eyes man, the attitude omg... Ah im so sorry in advance  if hes ooc here sksksk it is my first time to write about any jjk characters and I havent fully grasped them yet despite reading the manga anyways i wont be online next week and tomorrow so i decided to publish this ahead of time. ily all and again thank you for the love and support, it does mean a lot *bows down* see you all again when i’ve got time? jskskss i fucking hate college and online classes, satoru save me please soulmate au’s [not read in any particular order nor are they connected, they just share the same trope]  Pretty eyes [gojo vers.] ||  lasting blues [toji vers]

tragic soulmate au series || taglist 

“Pretty.” were the very first words you uttered in complete awe as you saw yourself in the mirror and no, this wasn’t directed to your physical appearance. It was directed to your left eye, the eye of your soulmate.

Contrasting to your normal boring color on the right, your soulmate’s eyes were ethereal and unreal. How could someone have such pretty eyes? It was completely surreal at that point that you refused to believe that someone with these eyes were actually human.

You placed one hand and gently caressed the left side of your face where the pretty eye rested, “You must be an angel.” you muttered, “Only angels have pretty eyes.”

Thus      like every child     you gave your soulmate a nickname, ‘pretty angel’  and every night before you slept, you’d wonder out loud how your pretty angel was doing, if they were nearby, or anything like that. You wonder what type of food they like, do they like to leave the window open for a cool wind or do they like their chocolate hot or iced.

Yet as you grew older, the pretty angel faded out into your thoughts. The pretty idea of soulmates and love disappeared like the story books you read as a child. The pretty blue eyes on your left is forgotten as life takes a toll on you.

They say death was inevitable, when your mother died in middle school, you watch as your father’s left eye turn to your mother’s color. You watched as he clenched her hand, like it was some last resort of plea. You watched him cry as he passed by the mirrors and you wondered, would it hurt like that too?

It baffles you how beautiful and cruel the soulmate system was.

How every time your father would stare at his own reflection, his left eye would be nothing but a reminder of your dead mother.

You let out a second meek cough in the quiet bookstore that night, the sounds of the car passing by were nothing but quiet noise to you as you immerse yourself in the literature book you were reading, your students would surely love this one.You let out another cough as you turn around to find a small space to read since standing for too long made you tired too quickly. 

You’re too enchanted by the words of the author that you don’t even notice the rather tall man in front of you.

You look up, ready to give a quiet apology but stop short when you notice how ethereal the stranger looked. Albeit he wore a pair of weird Lennon shades at this time of night, he reminded you very much of an angel with his snow white hair.

You don’t even notice how your left eye is returning back to it’s normal color, the stranger does though and it surely was odd to see his eyes on a stranger.

“Well,” the stranger has a shit-eating grin decorating his handsome features, he definitely looked like trouble for sure, “This is unexpected.”

He lowers his shades and your eyes immediately widen as you suddenly cup the left side of your face, you’d recognize those unique eyes anywhere, after all, you had those on your left eye since you were born, “Y-You.” you muttered, the shock momentarily eating you up.

“Yeah, me.” He grins, loving the sudden attention, “Wow, I was expecting something like fireworks or flowers to appear.” He suddenly teased, bending down to your level.

Now that you notice it, he was very, very tall.

“I…” You blink, trying to gain your composure, “Wow…”

“Did I pass your expectations?” it’s been a few minutes since you started talking and all he has been doing is teasing you. 

“You do look like an angel.” You complimented and his eyes widened at the rather out-of-place compliment, “Your eyes are very pretty, thanks for letting me borrow them for twenty-two years.”

Gojo Satoru thought he had the upper-hand, after all, you looked quite meek but when you said those compliments, he was sure that you were going to be the teasing one in this whole-soulmate thing.

So he tries to one up you.

“I’m Satoru Gojo but you can call me tonight.” He grinned, trying to tease you once again, the corny pick up line sounds suave but your blank expression says otherwise.

“I’m Y/N L/N and  think I should call you in the morning, it is quite late right now and I still have classes at eight am.” You mumbled, looking down at your watch, “How about you just walk me home, then?”

“Okay.” Satoru immediately raises his hands, signaling that he was giving up, “First off, you should be more hyper aware that I may be a serial killer.”

“Are you?”

“What?”

“Are you a serial killer?” you repeat, “That would be awfully disappointing if my soulmate was one since I’d immediately give you up on the police. I’m not interested in being in a Bonnie and Clyde type of thing and I think it’s too early for me to die.”

“You’re very upfront about these sorts of things.”

“Well, you’re very teasing for someone who just met their soulmate a few minutes ago.” you shrug, “So, are you going to walk me home or not?”

“Ah, bossy too. I love the attitude already.”

“We’re spending our whole lives together. You might as well get used to it.”

You’d think the idea of soulmates would scare you after the firsthand experience with your parents but curiosity always got the best of you and the white-haired man proved that maybe it would be different this time.

Throughout the few months you’ve spent with him, You’ve noticed that Gojo Satoru and you may be alike in some ways but in most ways, he was different. 

First, he was enigmatic. You’ve known the man for a couple of months now and you’ve been going out on dates but you don’t know much about him except that like you, he’s a teacher at a good school and he tends to be conceited when he talks about his personal skills as a teacher.

“...What are you doing?” Satoru asked, peeking from behind your shoulder as you type in the grades of your student for your class.

“I’m grading my students.” You muttered, it was after dinner at your place and he was lazing around your place, the sound of faint jazz music could be heard throughout your small space and the wafting smell of freshly baked brownies filled the room, “Aren’t you supposed to be doing something since you're a teacher?”

Satoru quirks a brow as if you had said something odd then it seemed like realization had dawn upon him at that moment.

“Ah, I’m not doing much since my students are on break.”

“Didn’t you say that last time?”

Silence filled the room and Satoru breaks it off with his very famous ‘heh’ that made you inwardly roll your eyes and chunk the pillow that you’ve been hugging towards his direction, “Stop slacking off, you’re a teacher.” You scold him mildly, followed by a small cough.

“Ah, Y/N-chan. You’re so mean to me,” He frowned, handing you the mug filled with water, “...No fair.”

“You're a teacher and you’re slacking off.” You deadpanned, ignoring his sly ways of trying to get you in his arms, “How is that even fair?”

“My students can handle themselves so well that I don’t need to babysit them.” He hmphed,  arms crossed and head held up high in a rather arrogant manner. You could only only scoff back a reply at his rather haughty attitude but you’ve gotten used to it to the point where you just roll your eyes.

“You’re a very bad teacher, Satoru.” 

“Hey, I am considered one of the best and it’s an honor-”

You clicked your tongue and just pinched his cheek in reply to get him to stop drawling on about his achievements. You wondered if you dated a man child or something.

Second, despite his teasing nature and good looks, he’s a rather shy bean and has some insecurities about it too, maybe it was because there were moments where you couldn’t really understand your soulmate and his puzzling life. He didn’t tell and you didn’t want to pry because you technically both had your whole life to get around that subject.

Luckily, you seem to have found a remedy for moments like that.

“Satoru…” You called out to your soulmate who was staring at the nutrition content of the wafers on his hand, “Satoru!” 

“Oh, sorry. What were you talking about?” he finally snapped out of his daze and turned to you who was standing there, hand on your hip. The crispy wafers on his hand are long forgotten. 

Your soulmate is good looking, alright. If anyone were to pass by him they wouldn’t see the minor zilch of worry in his eyes.

“Are you alright?” You ask, walking closer to him, completely serious.

“...You aren’t going to leave me, right?” 

You raise a brow at the sudden question, wasn’t he too young to have some mid-life crisis? Was this because of the soulmate movie you watched late last night about the soulmate leaving their other half to rebel against the system and because of his partner’s family?

“Why would I leave you?”

He blinks once, then twice, the only sound that could be heard was the familiar music playing throughout the grocery store, it was as if no one was there during the mid-day. Satoru proceeds to look away, “I don’t know. What if you realize that you don’t like me as your soulmate and you followed what the dude did in the movie?” he started to mumble, mouth pressed on a straight line.

“Ah, the whole rich in-laws.” you blinked, “Don’t tell me you’re a son of some huge clan in japan that’s loaded and I’m going to be a disgrace to your family name or something?”

It came out as a joke at first, it really did and you were going to laugh but when you notice the straight face he has on, you realize it was anything but a joke.

“Oh.” 

“Yeah, Oh.” 

“Aren’t I supposed to be the one asking that question then?”

“What?” He almost half-yelled, eyes wide behind his usual shades that he seemed to wear a lot, “That doesn’t make sense!”

“Neither does your question, Satoru.” You frowned, massaging your temples, “I should be the one asking you that, are you going to leave me?”

“Of course not.” He sputters out.

“Then there goes my answer too.” You replied, huffing out as you grab the sweet wafers on his hand to put into the cart, “You’re very weird.”

“You’re weird.”

“No, you are.”

“You seriously asked me if I’d leave you because of your rich family in the middle of the day.” You deadpanned, inching closer to him to the point where your lips are brushing against his.

“This is unfair.” He huffed, suddenly turning red, “You’re attacking me in broad daylight.”

“Oh dear.” Your beguiling eyes, enjoying his rather embarrassed state, “This isn’t attacking, Satoru.”

Then you closed the distance between you two, his eyes seemed to widen behind his shades at your forward approach, clearly you guys never did PDA. You took this as an opportunity to lick his lower lip so you could slip your tongue in and as he starts getting into it and placing his hand to cup your ass, you pull away with a big smile on your lips, “That’s attacking.” you grinned.

Satoru seemed to have regained his senses quickly after that rather heated public make-out session, he placed his hand on top of his mouth and feigned embarrassment, “My, My, I didn’t think you’d enjoy those types of things in public.” he was back to his normal teasing self.

Well, that seemed to have worked very well.

“Mhm,” 

Yet unknown to you those thoughts still lingered in his head, it wasn’t just his family that he was worried about, it was also regarding his job as a jujutsu sorcerer       something he has yet to mention, he’s not even sure if you’d believe him       it’s a normal occurrence for people like him to die in this occupation and he’s scared that one day, you’ll see your left eye turning back to his eye color with no valid explanation.

Not only that but the amount of people who’d go after you to get to him, he clenched on the shopping cart tightly

“I’m tired.” You cut his thoughts short and Satoru turns to you, unlike him, you weren’t physically active so you tire easily, even joking around that you were a granny in a child’s body, “Can we sit down after this and get some gyudon?”

“Sure Y/N.” he grins, giving you a one-arm hug and kissing your temple.

Third, he’s terrible with kids, period, no questions asked. 

Your eyes narrowed to slits as he brought in one of his students named Megumi, the boy is quiet and compared to your giant and teasing soulmate, he’s serious. In fact he was more serious than the tiny pinky of the white-haired man.

“...Are you kidnapping a third grader?”

“He’s one of my students.”

“You don’t even know the first thing of looking after kids.” You pointed out, “And didn’t you mention that you teach high school students?”

“Well,” he drawled on, “It’s kind of a long story but he’s technically a genius.”

You let out a stifling sigh, “You’re impossible.” you mutter, bending down to the small boy’s level, “Would you like something to eat in compensation for him annoying you?”

The boy nods mutely.

“I wasn’t annoying him!” He corrects.

“He looks very annoyed standing next to you.”

“That’s literally what he looks like!”

You roll your eyes in reply and turn to the young boy, handing him a pastry that you had brought earlier. You  watched Megumi eat his pastry in front of the television that played some child-friendly show as you let out a soft cough and pour yourself some water

“Are you alright?” Satoru asks, resting his head on your shoulders.

“Yeah,” You replied, “Why’d you ask?”

“You’re looking quite pale these days.”

“Maybe it’s the allergy season, already.”  you nonchalantly replied, taking another gulp of water, “You’re terrible with kids, by the way.”

“That’s why I’m a high school teacher, Y/N.”

This connects you to your fourth observation, he’s nonchalant and easy going but he harbors a rather deep worry for you to the point where you wonder if he was really your soulmate or your mother incarnate. Three years into the whole soulmate thing with him, you still couldn’t help but think that he’s doting nature was quite adorable.

You feel like you’re coming down with a cold these days, your head has been throbbing and your cough is worsening. Satoru’s eyes are filled with nothing but worry as he handed you some medication. Your soulmate was now a mother hen and if it were different circumstances, you’d laugh it off.

“We should go to the doctor.” He nagged you once again.

“I’m literally going to sleep it off.” You hoarsely replied, “I’ll be fine, Satoru.”

“You literally sound like you smoked a pack with your voice, are you sure?”

“I am.” You glared, “Don’t sleep-”

Before you could even finish what you were saying, he flops right next to you in the bed, “-I literally told you to not sleep next to me.” you scolded him.

“A mere cold won’t phase me.”

“I swear to god, Gojo Satoru. I’ll kick you out.” He ignores your ministrations and snuggles his head on your neck, his warm breath tickling it, “You’re impossible.”

“You love me.”

“Sadly.”

“Hey.”

“I’m kidding.” you let out a quiet chuckle, looking down at your soulmate and running your hands through his white hair, “I love you very much, you idiot.”

“Hard same.”

“Never mind, I take it back.” you giggle.

And after a rather short playful banter between you two, you find yourself sleeping and snuggling on his long limbs. You think all is well, you really do. That was until you wake up later at three am in the morning with a loud coughing fit. Satoru immediately sits upright and opens your nightlight but what he sees next, scares him more than the curses he has ever encountered.

Your sheets are now stained in blood from the coughing fit that had just happened and you're completely taken aback too, completely breathless.

“Y-Y/N…” He gulps down, quickly taking the sheets away from you, “Let’s go to the hospital now, please?”

“...L/N-san, have you been getting coughing fits before this?” the doctor asks, looking up from your chart. Satoru watches you shake your head as you clench the paws of his jacket, the doctor takes off his glasses, “How about coughs that don’t seem to go away? Getting tired too easily?”

Satoru doesn’t like where this was going, he doesn’t like where this was going at all.

“Um, just some dry coughs and I’ve always been an inactive person.” You quietly replied, contrasting to your usual bright and teasing demeanor, you looked too tired this morning and Satoru just hopes it’s because he dragged you out of bed at four am to get yourself checked asap.

“Y/N-san, has any of your family members been diagnosed with lung cancer?”

The whole room is silent and you could almost hear a pin drop, Satoru feels his knuckles suddenly turn white, “I recalled my okaasan died because of that.” You replied silently and the doctor nods feverishly.

“...Y/N-san...It pains me to say this but the reason you’ve been experiencing this is because of the tumors located in your lungs.” Satoru feels his heart drop when he hears those words, “We have to do further tests to confirm-”

“Do it.” Satoru cuts the old doctor off, his hands are visibly shaking already, he hopes that this was just a misdiagnosis, that this doctor was just a bad one or better yet whatever excuse his mind could make up at that moment, “Do all the tests needed for Y/N, please.”

Fifth, he’s very supportive towards you and your impulsive decisions. If he could join you in it, he would but you usually decide against it.

It’s another quiet night for you as you sit across from your soulmate at the dinner table. You’ve grown awfully thin and your hair was starting to fall off due to the chemoradiation, this day marked the third month since you found out that you have lung cancer just like your mother. Surgery was apparently too risky so the safest option right now was this treatment. 

You don’t deny the anxiety eating you up every day, specifically the fear of death, you’re even more worried for Satoru since not only had he been paying for your treatment but he had opt to take care of you, saying that his job would be fine without him since you were going to get better soon anyways.

“Would you still love me if I shaved my hair?” You asked, your voice still quite hoarse.

“You kidding me? I’d still love you even if you turned into a roach.”

You immediately crinkle your nose in disgust, “That’s disgusting.”

“Honest reply.”

Truthfully, the man had been your rock these past three months. You knew how hard it was for him to be happy around you, how he had put on a brave front and remained positive saying that this was just going to be a rough couple of months and you’d be back in no time despite the bleak outlook.

It kept you sane amongst the tragedy.

“I wanna shave my hair.”

“Like right now?”

You nod, “Can we use your electric razor?”

“You want me.” he points to himself, “To cut your hair?”

“I wouldn’t want anyone else to do it.” You grinned.

And that’s how you ended up in your bathroom after dinner, Satoru’s shades on the side and his concentration directly on your scalp. You had literally told him that he just needed to do it the same way as he shaved his beard but he was still scared. Apparently, he had never shaved anyone’s hair before.

“...Okay, Y/N. Here goes…” He proclaimed, switching the razor on. As bits and pieces of your hair fall to the ground, you feel your cheeks getting wet and your shoulders tense, Satoru is quick to notice the switch of emotion and immediately turns the razor off before bending down in front of you, “Woah, woah… Y/N….”

“I-I…” Your lips are quivering as the tears fall faster when you see his pretty eyes staring back at yours, you try to let out a laugh but instead it comes out as a choke sob, “Sorry, this is stupid. I’m literally crying over fucking hair.”

“No, of course not…” He replies, enveloping you in a hug, “Of course not.”

Satoru feels you start to shake in his arms and he knows he should keep his emotions in check, he’s a sorcerer for crying out loud but seeing you break down for the first time in three months had him shaking too, you didn’t deserve all this, fuck, you didn’t deserve any of this at all!

“Would you like me to shave my hair so you’d feel a bit better?” he asks. After recovering from your breakdown, you had asked him to continue shaving your hair because you might as well be done with it.

“Please don’t.” You reply, wiping your tears away, “We’d look like eggs.”

“Cute eggs, you mean.” He corrects, teasing you and trying to cheer you up, this was all he could do and he hates it. 

He really hates it.

What good was the title of being the strongest when he couldn’t save you from all of this?

Lastly, if you hadn’t highlighted it enough. He has pretty eyes, contrasting to your dull and boring ones, you always loved how different his eyes are. Sometimes you wondered why he dared to hide them behind his crappy and overused Lennon shades.

“Can I see them?” 

Your room is dimly lit as Satoru sleeps next to you on the hospital bed, you were growing weaker and frailer by the day and you could see the toll it took on your soulmate. You were heavily reminded of your father who was sitting right next to your mother on her deathbed.

“See what?” He yawned.

“Your eyes.”

“You’re awfully in love with them, huh?” 

“I’ve always been in love with them from the moment I saw it in the mirror.”

Silence envelopes the room with your statement and as requested, he takes the shades off and now you’re greeted by the most beautiful blue eyes that you love to look at in the reflection since you were a child, “Pretty.” You muttered, raising your frail hands slowly to cup his face, “Pretty eyes.”

Satoru takes in a deep breath as he places his hand on top of yours, the silence is heavy. You both know what’s about to come in the next few days, you’re lucky if you even last a night. Yet he doesn’t want to talk about it, he shuts the topic off quickly when you try to even raise it.

“Yeah.” he mumbles, staring at you, “Pretty.”

You let out a quiet laugh, “I doubt it, I’m anything but pretty now.” your voice hoarse, making him lightly squeeze your hands, “Will you be bringing Megumi tomorrow?”

“Yeah, the brat said he saved enough money to get you your favorite pastry.”

“That’s good.” you blinked, “I’m tired.”

Satoru feels his shoulder tense at your words, they were so plain yet at the same time so heavy, “Should I call the doctor?” he asks. You shake your head and just snuggle on his chest.

“No,” You mumbled, inhaling his scent and basking on his presence, “I want your warmth next to me.”

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“You know, you’ve always had prettier eyes.”

Yet you don’t reply and he feels your grip on his sweater lessen, he doesn’t even need to see his reflection to know that his left eye has returned back to your (e/c) ones.

taglist [if crossed out, it means you aren’t available for tags!]

@airybnb​ ;  @hcn421​ ;  @shinhiromi​

[loveseungs]

better better

➳ pairing: kim seungmin x reader ➳ word count: 7.0k [ 7056 words ] ➳ warnings: bulletpoint scenario ➳ genre: angst, fluff, friends to lovers, band au ➳ a/n: two words, stan day6 ➳ summary:

in which your life is a sad music video revolving around the world’s most famous sad music video concept: unrequited love.

❝ because of you, i’m better, better, better baby.❞

- you always knew that it was jisung’s dream to be in a band - i mean, of course you knew,,, when you’re neighbors with a schoolmate for years, you kinda get close - funny story, you and jisung actually used to bicker all the time when you were little—you weren’t always on the same page - it started when he, your neighbor (who was also seven-years-old like you at that time) mocked your favorite t-shirt -“eW what ARE YOU WEARING!!!! WHO WEARS A CAREBEARS T-SHIRT AT OUR AGE!!!!” - U WERE READY 2 THROW HANDS - WHO WAS THIS SQUIRREL-LOOKING BOY WHO WAS MAKING FUN OF THE T-SHIRT THAT BROUGHT U LOTS OF COMFORT - ??? it wasn’t UR FAULT THAT CAREBEARS WAS THE SHOW YOUR PARENTS MADE YOU WATCH WHEN YOU WERE A TODDLER - IT GAVE U STRENGTH OK,,, - unable to come up with a coherent answer, tears began to fill ur eyes and u began to sniffle - “YOU’RE MEAN!” - from that moment on, you never got along with your neighbor - it was really to your surprise that you went to the same school - but whatever, right?? u decided to avoid him like the plague for YearsTM,,, and he did the same to u - idk u just,,, yall didn’t vibe with each other - anyhoozle, when you turned 12, you began to take interest in music - there was smth u just. really liked about it. and u wanted not just to be a listener but to actually make some of ur own - so, you did what every other 12-year-old would do when they found smth they were interested in - that’s right friends and family - u begged ur parents to allow u to take guitar lessons at a nearby music school !! :DDD - u thought guitar was a good place to start learning music, and plus, someone was offering lessons for really cheap so why not - and this made u real excited!!! Bc wow!! Ur finally!! Gonna learn how to make music :000 - it was all sunshine and rainbows until u walked into the practice room and there sat - han jisung - at that moment, u turned around and slammed the door bc Nope,, u were NOT dealing with that today - sike, u didn’t, bc if u did, ur mom would beat ur butt with a broom - u had to. Sit. And go through weekly lessons. With Jisung. - twas hard not to argue w him all the time :/// - “stop hogging the tuner, freak!!!” - “get your own tuner, dummy!” - but ur teacher had enough of that щ(`Д´щ;) - for ur first showcase, u were partnered up together for the performance - when you look back, you suppose that you owe it to your teacher and that performance for bringing you and jisung together because hooooo boy, after that, u and him were practically unseperable for the many years after - ok fine 👉👈 so u had to admit… jisung became one of ur closest friends… - if not… ur best friend… - he was ur go-to as u went through ur school years - and oh boy,,, y’all would talk about everything under the sun, really - new shows? Check - cool jams?? Check - how it was jisung’s dream to be part of a band one day? Check - so one day, when one of jisung’s senior friends held an audition for band members, it was only natural for him to drag you along - u weren’t as hyped as he was, but u sure were interested. - you both, of course, auditioned for guitar positions (yours being rhythmic and jisung’s focusing more on delicious riffs), but jisung also showcased rap and you showcased some vocals in addition to being able to play an instrument - U didn’t really think u’d get in but - results came out and sksksk u BOTH GOT IN - TWAS A SIGN - and that, ladies and gentlemen, - was the start of one of ur rollercoasteriest rides you’d ever experienced - in the band, there were six of you: - chan, the leader, who produced most of your songs and played the bass - woojin, the talented lyrcist with honey-like vocals - felix, the dorky drummer - you, the rhythmic guitarist - jisung, who was in charge of rap and also played the guitar - and lastly, seungmin, the pianist - That was how it all began, really, with the meshing of different instruments and voices coming together as one. - If anyone asked why you’d joined in the first place, you’d say that it was because your best friend egged you to audition with him for this band - But, deep down, you knew a slice of you wished for this too, to be able to be part of a group where you could freely express your love for music.

--

- OK SO THAT WAS HOW IT STARTED - BUT, AS FOR PRESENT TIME,,,, - you were in the practice room, looking forlornly out the window, earphones accompanying your tired frown - the sky was grey and you were having a momen— - “why do u look like a typical sad music video??” came a voice, snapping you out of your trance - you paused your music. “shut up, seungmin!! im listening to day6!! Look at me straight in the eye and tell me that ‘Goodbye Winter’ doesn’t want to make you think of your sad love life !!” - he rolled his eyes - EXCUSE HIM??? WHO WAS HE, THE LITERAL MYDAY PRESIDENT, TO JUDGE YOU??? - “yeah but you don’t need to be so dramatic about it!” - “says the guy who started crying on the bus listening to ‘I smile’!!!” p(●｀□´●)q - “OKAY, FINE !! let me listen” - “whatever, dork” - that led you to hand seungmin your right earphone before you started up the music again, wonpil’s honey vocals once again sounding out in your ears - he plopped down on the chair next to you and in that moment, - it was just you, seungmin, and the serene melody of day6 - … - it didN’T REALLY HELP HOW UR PROXIMITY WITH HIM WAS LIKE,, KINDA CLOSE - BECAUSE UR HEART WAS BEATING AND IT WAS NOT BECAUSE OF DAY6 - hell, why did u have to have this stuPID, PHAT CRUSH on kim seungMIN - CHIEF CALLED AND SAID THAT AINT IT - HHHHHHUUUURGHHH - just then, felix and jisung burst into the room, laughing about a topic you didn’t really care to find out. it wasn’t your concern - what you WERE concerned about, however, is that when they entered, seungmin threw off your earphone and flung himself to the keyboard like he was caught red-handed with something. - “o-OH HI FELIX! JISUNG! WHERE’S CHAN AND WOOJIN?” - “I DON’T KNOW!” - “STOP SCREAMING, FELIX!” - “HE STARTED IT!” the freckled boy pointed at seungmin, who was awkwardly fiddling with the keyboard’s buttons - hhhh wait what did that mean?? Did he not want to be seen close to u or something?????????? - HNGHHHGHG SAD HOURS o(╥﹏╥)o(╥﹏╥)o - oh well - you got up and reached for your guitar, since you supposed your day6 session needed to come to a close with the start of practice - “Hi guys! Sorry we’re late. We picked up some chicken after class! Let’s eat!” Chan announced as he entered the room with Woojin, who only waved amiably in greeting. - Felix began to scream in excitement again, to which Seungmin sighed at - so there you have it, ladies and gentlemen - that’s it - that was pretty much your life now

- it was a sad music video featuring a big crush on someone you knew didn’t feel the same way you did. - oh well, right? it didn’t really matter. what was important was that you were both friends, bandmates, and made music together. - so as long as you would still be able to have that, you didn’t mind.

--

- Saturdays were the self-proclaimed ‘Jisung and [y/n] Day’ !!! - they were a tradition that started ever since yall began to get along bc !! - Saturdays were boring and who better to spend it with other than ur bff?? - what possibly could be MORE fun than beating jisung in mario kart, huh?? - “STOP PICKING WALUIGI!” - “I DON’T SEE WHAT’S WRONG WITH IT, T O A D” - so when jisung appeared at your front door with an extra guest on YOUR day, you couldn’t help but raise a brow - this was the first ever guest to barge in ‘Jisung and [y/n] Day’, and you would have appreciated some sort of heads-up from ur neighbor slash bestie……,,,, - “[y/n]!!! seungmin wanted to hang out today so I brought him along~ let’s go play some smash!!” jisung announced, dragging the other boy in as he kicked off his shoes - what the MCFRICK - U DIDN’T EVEN FIX UR HOUSE - HOLY CHICKEN NUGGETS,,,,, WHAT WAS SEUNGMIN GOING TO THINK OF YOU AND YOUR HOUSE - AAAA - screw YOU HAN JISUNG - “uh, I hope u don’t mind,,,, I didn’t know jisung practically had a second house…” seungmin smiled sheepishly, bowing in respect to u “also, i didn’t know you were neighbors.” - “nah, it’s okay. make yourself at home, but please fix your shoes as you take them off. Jisung always leaves his lying around here and it doesn’t look nice,” you sighed, fixing jisung’s nike slides - “please take care of me,” seungmin mumbled as he arranged his sneakers to be neatly aligned with your slippers - you let jisung show seungmin to the living room, where he started to fix up the console so you could all play - meanwhile, you prepared some unhealthy snacks consisting of chips and soda - “I swear, [y/n] always picks metaknight and it’s so annoying,” jisung rolls his eyes, taking a chip from the bowl you put out on the small coffee table in front of the tv. - “you’re just salty that I’m actually good at the game,” you fire back, hitting him. The three of you settle comfortably on the couch and pick out your characters. To your surprise, Seungmin picks Peach and all you can do is laugh. - “really?” you snicker, picking metaknight like usual. - “princess peach? wow, seungmin.” Jisung chooses Samus and joins you in poking fun at Seungmin’s choice. - the boy stays silent, only pulling out his glasses from his bag. In moments, the game starts. - It takes only mere seconds for Jisung to let out an ungodly scream as his character gets thrown off the map by a certain pink princess. - “SHUT UP SEUNGMIN! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?” - “I didn’t say anything,” Seungmin responds non-chalantly and begins to chase you. - The game session of Smash continues in this manner: Seungmin targets Jisung, Jisung screams, and you avenge the poor squirrel boy. Occasionally, Jisung fights back. There’s a lot of screaming, but you know from which single mouth it comes from. - When you get tired of playing, the three of you stop and take a break to jam. Jisung borrows your guitar while Seungmin plays on the living room piano. You sit on the cajon and cook up a steady beat for the others. - It’s no surprise to you when Seungmin picks a song from Day6 and starts belting out the chords on the piano. Of course Seungmin would pick a Day6 song to play, because that’s so Seungmin of him to do. But even if you’ve heard ‘When You Love Someone’ a million times, you’ll never get tired of it, most especially because it’s him who’s singing it.

--

- The first time you realize that okay, maybe you’re starting to have feelings for your band member, was during your first performance together as a band. - At first, you were opposed to it. When Chan burst into the practice room one day with a flyer for the school talent show in hand, you didn’t hesitate to express your disapproval towards it. Honestly, you weren’t even sure why you were so against it, because you knew that on any other day, you’d welcome the opportunity with open arms. - But of course, overridden by the majority decision, you had to do the performance anyway. - It was only during the performance day itself that you finally figured out the reason why you didn’t want to do it. - When you saw from behind the curtain all the empty seats that would later be filled, something inside you erupted. There were now going to be a million people watching you. Every note, every strum had to be precise— - two hours before the performance, your members had gone into a frenzy. - two hours and you were missing - you weren’t in the practice room, you weren’t in the backstage, you weren’t anywhere - jisung was FREAKING out because he knew you didn’t exactly love performing in front of people, so he told everyone to start finding you immediately!!!!!!!! - chan was also extremely worried bc hhhh you should have told him, the leader, about ur concerns - aghh chan felt bad for not realizing it - but despite everything, it wasn’t jisung or chan who found you having a nervous breakdown at the back of the canteen, it was seungmin - and when he found you crouched down, sobbing quietly, he didn’t go on a long and crazy rant about how he was really worried for you - he didn’t give you a long speech of encouragement - no, when he found you crouched down and sobbing, he simply crouched down too and wrapped his arms around you - no words, just a very tight hug - which is funny because like - a minute after seungmin hugged you (which by the way, he hadn’t let go), your hiccups died down and… - u stopped crying,,,, - omg seungmin a sweetheart - strangely enough, you…you really just stopped crying for the first time in like,, 30 minutes - and even when seungmin couldn’t feel you shaking and hear you sobbing, he continued to just hold you - in fact, you were the first to break away, when you started to apologize for disappearing so suddenly - you started rambling about how you were justreallynervousandyouwerejustsosososorrysomethingcameoveryouwhenyousawtheseatsofthetheatre - and when you were done, seungmin offered you a warm, genuine smile, gave you a quick hug again, then said, “it’s okay!!” - on your way back to the others, he told you, “hey. if you feel nervous onstage, just look at me, okay?” - when you came back, jisung STARTED GOING ON A LONG AND NERVOUS RUN ABOUT HOW HE WAS SOSOSOSOSOSOSO WORRIED and you BET that squirrel boy squeezed u like there was no tomorrow - the rest of the members gave u some words of encouragement, too!! - so in short,, u were able to perform :>>> u were able to get onstage !! - and like !! seungmin kept his promise :DD - when you felt a pang of nervousness mid-song, you whipped your head to look at seungmin, and he indeed give you a smile before he started singing his verse - it was then that it hit you. - you knew, by the suddent skip in your heart, that it hit you. - oh no. you liked him.

--

- so when seungmin starts singing ‘When You Love Someone’ while playing on your old, beat-up, living room piano, you’re immediately reminded of why you started liking him in the first place. - maybe it was the way he smiled at you that day, maybe it was the way he hugged you like you were the only thing in the world that mome— - RRRRING!!! RING!!!! - holy mcfrick u were having ur Thoughts! And u were having a jamming sesh!!! Who could THAT BE,,, SIGH??? ＼`•̀益•́´／ - Ring… leader bAnG cHaN is calling…! - o shoot it was chan - “hello?” you spoke into the phone, halting your music-making - “Hello?? [y/n]?? I have news. I’m setting us up to go on Battle of the Bands! Sign-ups just opened!” - “O SHOOT HELLO?? THAT’S GREAT!! Hasn’t that been our goal since we started! We finally get a shot at winning the trophy!!!!! I’ll go tell the others. Jisung and Seungmin are with me,” you grinned, beaming. - Jisung mouthed a “whos-that” and you mouthed “chan” back. - “Okay! Just wanted to let you know. See you on Monday!” - beep - “Well, what’d he say?” Jisung asked, on the edge of curiosity. - “Battle of the Bands! In! Our band! Chan signed us up!” you smiled, hopping up. - “WHAAAAT?! WAH, NO WAY!” Jisung screamed, and he rushed to you to give you a big bear hug. - Seungmin stood up as well. “Hey, that’s great! I’m proud of us!” - guess your ThoughtsTM were gonna have to wait until after the event. - “C’mon! Let’s practice something! And later, let’s order something nice to celebrate!” you suggested, sitting back down on your cajon.

--

- “oh frick!” you exclaimed, setting down the banana milk on your usual cafeteria table - jisung jumped in surprise, felix waved, and seungmin looked up from his triangle kimbap - “what’s up with you?” seungmin questioned, wiping his mouth - “i forgot to do our math homework! do you have a copy of the questions? guess I won’t eat lunch now,” you groaned, shoulders slumping. - jisung shook his head. “sorry, our class already submitted that.” - “holy heck dude, our class submitted that already?” felix gasped. - jisung narrowed his eyes. “uh?? Yeah, dude. Like, last week.” - “OH SHOOT I DIDN’T DO IT” - “felix—" - “sometimes I wonder how I’m friends with such an idiot,” seungmin sighed, handing you a bright, red notebook. “here. you should be glad you’re classmates with me. questions are on the page with the pink sticky. DON’T flip the page because the answers are there, and I’m not having you leech off my perfect grades.” - you let out a ‘tch’. “who says I can’t perfect math without your answers? Besides, I’m betting it’s not even perfect.” - “thank you seungmin for lending me your notes!” seungmin imitated in a high-pitch voice before taking another bite from his triangle kimbap. - “whatever. Thanks I guess,” you retorted, copying down the questions and answering them one by one. - it was times like these when you were grateful to have such a competent classmate, even if he was really hard to ask notes from. now that you thought about it, there was no other person seungmin would lend his notes to except you. - you tried your best not to make any sort of expression, but inside, you were leaping for joy. who knows? maybe the tyrant-in-academics kim seungmin had a soft spot for you ???? >:DDDDD - lucky for you, you were able to complete the homework before class started. Unfortunately, you needed to start walking back from the canteen to avoid being late, so you didn’t have a chance to grab a bite. - once jisung and felix left the both of you (they had PE next and went towards the gym), seungmin shoved a triangle kimbap in your hand. - “finish it before we go inside the building,” he mumbled, halting just in front of the doors. - OK WHY WAS HE BEING SO NICE - U WERE KIND OF CONFUSED - AND ANGRY BECAUSE - STOP!!!!! HE WAS MAKING U BLUSH N STUFF - NONONOONO - in attempts to hush ur red cheeks, u scarfed down that kimbap like it was nothing. U inh a l ed that thing - anyway, after that whole thing, you guys went back to your classroom and waited for your teacher to come. - you were really happy bc of that whole cute thing with seungmin, but your happiness didn’t last long as your eyes trailed off to see seungmin handing his red notebook to some other girl who’d asked for it - you buried your face into your arms. - of course. there it was. - there was that constant reminder that okay, you weren’t really special to seungmin. in that moment, when he lent you his notes and gave you something to eat, you were just a friend, a bandmate, who needed help that he could give. - he didn’t like you back like that, he just had a big heart. - it was probably the same when he hugged you that time before your first performance. he was just… being nice. - it was okay. you should have been grateful to have such a good friend who was always watching out for you. - you shouldn’t be selfish and want more than that.

--

- k so at this point it wasn’t even ur sad, fat crush on seungmin that was talking - u were genuinely worried as a friend as to why seungmin didn’t come to school the next morning - ok, so u texted him, but to no avail??? - WHERE WAS THE MAN???? - during lunch, you tried asking jisung and felix but they didn’t have a clue either - after school, you rushed to the practice room and asked chan and woojin if they knew anything about the missing guy - chan nodded. “oh, seungmin texted that he won’t make it today. he’s sick. Like, bed-ridden sick.” - u gasped - :00 oh no ((o(;△;)o)) - u asked if u could leave practice early so u could visit seungmin - and ofc chan said yeah bc umu he’s worried too,,, - it was all fun and games until u realized u didn’t know where seungmin lived so jisung offered to come with you to show you - WHAT WOULD U DO W/O UR BEST FRIEND - “u,, complete me,,,” - “ofc I complete u [y/n] wth if I didn’t then we wouldn’t be bffs” - “｡･ﾟヾ(✦థ ｪ థ)ﾉ｡ﾟ･｡ I lov u bro” - “ilu too fool” - anyway, the walk to seungmin’s was fun !! u knew u could always count on jisung to give u a good laugh - u even stopped by a store to go grab some chicken soup and medicine - when jisung led you to a certain tall building, you g a s p e d - WTH - IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST EXPENSIVE LUXURY APARTMENTS???? - “HE LIVES HERE??????” - “twas what I said when he first invited me over. come on” - u were shaking - there was TOO much u DIDN’T KNOW - SKSKKS U WERE SCARED - WHAT ELSE COULD HE BE HIDING - OMG WHAT IF SEUNGMIN WAS A RICH HEIR OR SMTH SHBFHBDHSDCHCW U FELT LIKE A SLOB - “RELAX THE HECK UP MAN!!” jisung rolled his eyes, watching u freak the frick out - ding dong - “com—cough—ing!” came a voice - “hi, how can i—oh? What are u two doing here???” a sick seungmin spoke, hair sticking up in a million different directions, face flushed, and lips dry. - “it’s—” jisung did a little dance, “NURSING TIME BABEY!!” - “omg stop im not a kid its ok I can take care of my—COUGH” - suddenly seungmin started having a bad coughing episode and u and jisung looked at each other like - ‘what is this idiot thinking’ - anyway u both dragged him back inside his apartment - jisung volunteered to go make the soup, and you decided to help seungmin get back into bed and give him medicine - after checking seungmin’s temperature (he was hot) - (NO NOT THAT HOT, I MEAN HIS TEMPERATURE OK) - you gave him his medicine and went to the kitchen to prepare a basin with ice water and a towel - u came back and wiped his face and neck with the cold towel, wet it again, then placed it on his forehead - just then, jisung finished making the soup and came back with a bowl of it and a jug of water - “here, seungmin. make sure you drink lots of water even when we leave, okay?” - the sick boy just nodded and grabbed a spoon to eat the soup - ok so yall underestimated his sickness bc he literally dropped the spoon and spilled some burning soup on himself - “OWIE WHAT THE HELL??” he screamed, dunking his hands in the ice water basin on the floor - “careful!” you insisted, “that’s it, let me help you with that!” - “I’m not a kid! I can feed myself!” - “yeah? tell that to me when you don’t burn urself, dummy” - you grabbed the spoon from him, got some soup, blew it a little so it wouldn’t be so hot, and gestured for him to open his mouth - “you’re like my mom.” - -9000 HP - u mentally clutched ur heart - #momzoned - “shut up and eat the soup.” - once he took a bite, he beamed - “I’m surprised it’s good! I didn’t know Jisung could cook!” - “whaT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN, PUNK?” - you fed him like, half the bowl, helped him drink the entire glass of water, changed the towel on his head, and tucked him in again - “im going to the bathroom. Im still mad that u thought I couldn’t cook,” jisung announced, huffing and leaving the room - … - … - ok so it was u and ur sick crush - ambulance NOiseS - WEEE WOOO - “hey [y/n]?” - “mm?” - “can you play some day6? my phone’s on the desk and the password is w0npil, with the ‘o’ as a zero.” - “nerd” - “shut up I know ur password is dowoon” - “DO U WANT ME TO PLAY UR MUSIC OR NOT” - “play the moonrise album” - “fine.” - the first song of the album, ‘Better Better’, began and you went back to your spot beside seungmin’s bed - he turned around so he could face you, and in moments u could already feel your cheeks heating up with his gaze suddenly on u - HNNNNNNG HIS EYES WERE REALLY PRETTY EVEN IF THEY HAD EYEBAGS UNDER THEM - ://// - ://////////////////////////// - “[y/n]?” - “what?” - “I guess because you’re helping me now, you can say that because of you I’m getting better, better, better, baby~!!” - “seungmin u big dork” - “[y/nnnnnn],,,,” - “yes, what do you need now?” - “I’m getting sleepy.” - “then rest.” - “wait, I want something, can you come closer? I don’t want to yell.” - “what is it?” you asked, moving closer as instructed until-- - he pecked your lips. - WHAT - WAIT - WAIT W H A T - YOU WERE ERRORING - IM SCREAMING - ALSO, THE IDIOT PASSED OUT - WAIT - “WHAT?!” you heard a voice come, but it wasn’t yours - from the doorway, jisung was pointing at you, whose eyes were REALLY big - “WAIT, I WASN’T THE ONLY ONE THAT SAW THAT, RIGHT?” jisung exclaimed, to which you put a finger to your lips - “shut up!!! He passed out!!!” you whisper-yelled, hobbling over to your best friend - “wait, he kissed you?!” - “i-I don’t know! I think it was a feverish mistake! oh my stars, ‘sung, that was my first!” you panicked, burying your face into your hands - holy mcnuggets, kim seungmin had KISSED you - “o-okay, okay, calm down. Maybe you’re right, he did pass out.” jisung reassured you, patting your back - “wait, I think we should stop his day6 music,” you said, turning off the speaker so soon. - “okay. wait, what now?!” - “I don’t know! I’m in shock!” - “it’s okay,” jisung breathed, “I won’t tell anyone, I swear. Not even him.” - “we’re never bringing this up again, okay?” you told him, completely exasperated - jisung nodded frantically, equally as spooked as you were - and just to absolutely make sure, you made him go to seungmin and check if he was asleep - “yup. knocked out.” - “honestly im kinda glad u saw it for urself instead of waiting for me to tell u bc I don’t know how I would” you admitted, fumbling with your hands. - “id be mad if u didn’t tho” - “HOW COULD I NOT TELL U?? ID BE TOO PANICKED NOT TO!” - “let’s close the lights and go home, okay? it’s been a hell of a day.” - on the way home, jisung helped u cope with the sitch by talking about other things, like band - u were really grateful,,, - as much as possible, u didn’t even wanna THINK of seungmin - hell it was gonna be so awkward when he’d come back from school…

--

- seungmin was back 2 school babey!! - great : ))) - yeah maybe for the rest of the world but like - NOT U LMAO - the frick - the frick would u even say to him if u saw him huh?? - “hey we kissed”??? - “ur lips were really chapped bc of dehydration”???? - “I have a phat crush on u???” - n is for NO - u weren’t gonna say ANY of that - which is why - you guessed it - interactions with seungmin were kept at a minimum B) - ‘only interact if absolutely necessary’ - and u got jisung on it too - so u wouldn’t feel so lonely not sitting w felix and seungmin during lunch, jisung offered to hang with u from time to time during ur Stage of Awkward Avoiding - “dude its ok I totally get u idk how id approach him if I were u” - “riGHT?????” - but like - u couldn’t avoid him forever - chan changed practice times from every mwf to every d a y after school so u could prepare for battle of the bands - and oh heck was practice the most awkward thing in ur life - like ofc not while u were playing bc music is a medicine that fixes all - but like during the idle moments u weren’t playing, u didn’t even know how to act - “hi [y/n], did you see tha—” - “HUH what excuse ME I NEED TO PEE BADLY BRB” - ok talking to the others were ok ofc - u still goofed around w felix etc - but u just - u couldn’t talk to seungmin - u were really afraid he’d remember the thing - actually more than being afraid of remembering the k@#$, you were more afraid that he knew and didn’t mean it - BUT ANYWAY - woojin took notice of this Immediately bc he’s just great at noticing things like that - not in a creepy way, but woojin always watches - I’d go so far to say he knew more than chan, simply by observing life around him - everyone has their own way of watching out for each other - jisung’s a companion. felix says. seungmin does. chan listens. - woojin watches. - so after noticing your peculiar exclamations and jittery fingers (he sees you rubbing them together as if they’ll break if separated), woojin does what he does best - he finds out what the frick frack paddy whack is wrong - after practice, he slings an arm around your shoulder and says one magic word - “chicken” - and also another magic phrase - “I’m paying” - so whO ARE U TO REFUSE THIS FREE CHICKEN HUH - the rest of the band members are kinda confused like - ok we get that woojin’s having a random chicken craving but why wont u bring us why are u only bringing [y/n] - and to that he can only say - bc [y/n] is the only one who will finish one whole chicken if I order it - we stan some hungry fellows - anyhow - after arriving at woojin’s favorite chicken place (some place called hwang’s chicken or smth) and ordering, you finally break the beans - “uhh,, woojin, so why did you bring me out?” - a magician never reveals his secrets - “you seemed kinda troubled during practice, so I thought you could use a good meal. eat well, okay?” he smiled warmly at you, making u wanna cry - omg what have u done to deserve this Angel - “how’d you know?” - “well, your guitar was kind of out of tune and you didn’t tune it to perfection this time.” - “HOW DO YOU KNOW I ALWAYS TUNE MY GUITAR TO ABSOLUTE PERFECTION” - he sweats - “I-I JUST DO!!!” - ok so you had a feeling woojin already knew what was up so why not tell him right - “anyway, thanks for this, woojin!!” you told him, bowing. “i’m actually, yeah, kind of in… a predicament with seungmin.” - “oh?” he asked, sipping his water. HE WAS RIGHT BEAT THAT CHAN - “so you know how jisung and I visited him when he was sick, right?” - “I’m listening” - “well,,,,, truth be told, we took good care of him… we gave him medicine and all… but when jisung had to go to the bathroom, seungmin had a feverish episode and um… he uh,,, h-he, well… leaned in… and stole um, something from me.” you fumbled with your words. - woojin’s eyes widened at the choice of words. “ah,” he nodded, as if he was solving an intricate puzzle. “i see…” - “Anyway, I don’t know if he remembers it or not, but it would still make an awkward conversation topic. Man! I wish it never happened!” you sighed, taking a swig of cold water. - “Do you mean that?” Woojin raised his brow. - absentmindedly, you slammed a fist to the table. “NO! I mean, I don’t mean that! Of course I don’t! I mean—wait—NO THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT, I JUST, WELL—” - U JUST EXPOSED URSELF TO WOOJIN SOMEHOW ,, READER what did u dO - woojin just narrowed his eyes at you - “okay! fine! you caught me! I like seungmin, okay? and it’s really weird to be kissed by your crush who doesn’t even like you back!” - “how do you know he doesn’t?” - “well!” you began, “he doesn’t treat me specially or do anything he wouldn’t do for a friend. i reallllly don’t think he has feelings for me. one moment, I think that maybe, just maybe I’m special, but then he goes off and does the same nice thing for someone else and I think, well, that’s a bummer. Not that I don’t want him to be nice—” - “I understand, relax. You panic a lot for someone who hasn’t even seen the situation until the end,” he commented, watching the waiter put the chicken in front of you both. - “so what am I supposed to do then?” you sighed, taking your chopsticks and digging in. - “well, for starters, don’t do that weird thing where you excuse yourself to the bathroom every time he tries to speak to you. it’s too obvious, if avoiding him is your goal,” woojin started, and you knew that woojin wisdom hours were now open. “But honestly? I don’t think you should avoid him. I mean, why? I don’t see how it will benefit either of you. Look, if he brings it up, confront it. Otherwise, you don’t need to bring it up again.” - you shrugged. “I guess so.”

--

- heeding woojin’s advice, you avoided him less - but that DIDN’T ERASE THE FACT THAT YOU STILL HAD A HARD TIME TALKING TO SEUNGMIN OK - you avoided him less, but still couldn’t talk to him like you used to - u cant just TALK to someone u KISSED - and seungmin had taken notice - he could not understand why you had that weird period of avoiding him, then began to talk less with him??? - “jisung, did I do something wrong?” - “MY GUITAR IS CALLING GOTTA YEET” - he could only frown. every time he tried to make some conversation with you, you’d seem pretty distant - and this WORRIED him ok - seungmin wasn’t the type of person to be okay if someone was uncomfortable with him, especially a good friend - weeks in, he just couldn’t take it anymore - The game plan was simple. Blackmail Jisung into bringing you to the practice room, then tell him not to allow you to leave. - “Felix, I need Jisung blackmail.” - “For what?” - “To save a friendship.” - “Easy, just threaten to leak his stan twitter to the entire school.” - “p e r f e c t” - and just like felix said, - it worked - jisung, under the immense pressure and stress of having his embarrassing stan account leaked to everyone, caved in and brought seungmin what he wanted after school - you were confused as to why jisung kept apologizing on your way to practice, but when he threw you into the room screaming sorry and locked you in, you understood why - “okay, [y/n]. let’s talk.” - “h-hi, seungmin.” - “why have you been avoiding me? or whatever. talking to me weirdly. can you stop it already? because I miss you.” - “please seungmin,” you sighed, “don’t do that.” - “Don’t do what?” he demanded. “I’ve literally had to start each conversation with you for the past how many weeks, and each conversation always ends on some awkward note! I don’t get it, so explain! I don’t see why you’re telling me not to ‘do that’ when I literally don’t know what ‘that’ is!” - “The thing where you say stuff like ‘I miss you’!” you yelled, clenching your fists. “Stop saying things like that to me if you don’t even like me!” - “What?!” - “You do so many confusing things, and I’ve had it!” Your eyes were starting to brim with tears. “You do stuff like tell me you miss me or hug me for a really long time or give me things you don’t just give to friends! You make me feel like I’m someone special to you when I’m not! You have the audacity to do things like k-kiss me and not even mean it!” - Seungmin’s eyes widened. “K-Kiss?” - “When Jisung and I came over, you kissed me and passed out! You can’t just do that to people, especially people who’re prone to developing these big, stupid feelings—” you explained, wiping away your stray tears. - “That wasn’t a dream?” - “What do you mean a ‘dream’? That was very much real, and I’m angry about it because I don’t want to be kissed unmeaningfully! E-Even if—even if it’s from someone I really like! Especially if it’s from the one I really like!” you told him, mustering your strength not to cry even more. Why even were you crying? It wasn’t so bad! - “I’m really sorry!” Seungmin exclaimed, extremely exasperated. He couldn’t believe his ears, the kiss wasn’t a feverish dream after all! “I thought I had dreamt that whole thing up! I swear, I didn’t know that I wasn’t dreaming. I’m really sorry, [y/n].” - “Whatever,” you muttered, “but now since my big secret’s out and you didn’t mean it anyways, can we just never talk about this again? Forget that I like you. I’ll get over you, I promise. L-Let’s just please continue to be good friends.” - “Who said I didn’t mean it?” Seungmin challenged, stepping forward. “What will you do if I said I did, I did mean it? With all my heart, I meant it?” - U WERE SHAKING - THIS WASN’T IN UR BOOK - U DIDN’T PLAN FAR ENOUGH AND EXPLORE THE THOUGHT - “Did you?” you shot back, fists still clenched. - u weren’t about to back down tho - “I did,” he confessed, “I meant all the other stuff too. And I could mean it again.” -  “So mean it again, then.” - Gently, Seungmin cupped your face and allowed his eyes to linger on your lips for just a little while. And, when that little while was over, he stopped hovering and leaned in. - In that moment, you suppose you could say he really did end up meaning it — just as much as you did, at least.  - And when it finally sunk in that he had kissed you once more, you thought: - Oh boy. Looks like this typical sad music video just got a whole different concept.

--

Bonus: - “And I said—HOLY CRAP IM SO SORRY I WAS INTERRUPTING SOMETHING PLEASE DON’T KILL ME I THOUGHT YOU WERE DONE AND I HAVE THIS TERRIBLE CURSE OF WALKING IN ON [Y/N]’S KISSES PLEASE JUST EWIJFWBFWEBFWHEBFUWEBF IM SO SORRY” jisung screamed, covering his eyes - “righty-o, now that you’ve confessed your undying love for each other, finally and I mean finally because your tension was making me want to punch myself in the face, let’s get to practice!” felix cheered, giving you wiggly eyebrows. - “wait, so jisung saw me kiss u that day?” seungmin questioned, shocked. - you shrugged. “better than not. How do you tell your best friend your crush kissed you feverishly? I don’t think you do.” - “I told you. You owe me 10,000 won.” Woojin smirked, folding his arms in front of Chan. - “Shut up, Woojin, it isn’t fair!” Chan cried, making you laugh. - and mayhaps you were so happy you wanted to jump higher, higher, higher baby

[bredsticon-blog]

title: the alternative

part: one (saint or sinner)

desc: you have died. you weren't an extraordinary person when you were alive--you made a few little sins and a few little good deeds, but it's not enough to land you in heaven nor hell. so the reaper gives you two choices: be in limbo forever, or serve equal years in heaven and hell. well, you choose the latter...

tags: angel!nick & demon!zion love triangle (or not? wink), heaven and hell au (yes ik purgatory exists but it has different purposes for this series), ooc (on purpose, i swear), sfw (as in, no smut), gore, violence (i mean, you're in hell...), cussing, murder, mentions of: rape, abuse, addiction (alcohol, LSD, heroin, uhh everything else), mental issues (depression, suicide), and death in general. gender/sex neutral reader (as always) and humor to lighten the mood

word count: 2k

notes: it isn't nearly as scary as the tags make it seem, i promise. i spent a l o n g time on the promo art for this (which imma post LATER) so uhh please read :'( haha yes i WILL finish writing the fma!austin fic and make the part 2 for ¡quake! & ~the wave~ but my ass is still collecting gifs and cleaning up plot holes sksksk and on the 2.76% chance the boys read this: hi follow me im @/bredsticon on ig, i make quality content and be more active on tumblr please we love you

You don't remember dying.

You're dead, and you don't remember dying.

Perhaps, in another life, you once thought that death accompanied a special feeling: life flashing before your eyes, lights out, everything over before your last breath escapes your lungs. But this is... this is slow. So slow. You're still on earth. Floating.. somewhere. Nowhere else. You see the world, all of it. Stars twinkle in the mist. The world around you is gray and dark. You watch your home fall apart. Every crack and shake is in full detail, and, dimly, you watch the sprouting of vines and weeds in its place. The weeds brush heads as they cluster your old house, your old neighborhood, your old country, your old everything.

You're old.

Breathless doesn't begin to describe it. You don't have lungs. You don't have... you don't. You just don't. You are nowhere. You are nothing. You don't exist.

Someone waves inside of you.

What the—

"Hello, Soul One-Hundred Thirty-Three Billion, Seventy-Five Million and Sixty-Five. You're late."

An NYC accent? You're from—

"Now that's a mouthful. I'll just call you Rosebud. See, you were supposed to cross over..." A watch ticks inside your... your form? You? "...millennia ago. Five millennia, in fact."

The voice throws a powder on you. Something blooms inside you, and you fall to the ground.

You gasp—holy shit, you can gasp. You move your head around. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod, you have muscles, you have form, you can move. You exist.

The voice has a form, too. He looks like you: human. Flaming blue hair, khaki-colored skin with reddish-pink polka dots and marks. He wears modern clothes: a bright yellow vest and green pants. And glowing. He's like a painting. Human, kinda.

You gape at him. This doesn't exist. This can't exist. You thought you'd be nothing forever. But now you're something and that's something and the world around you is still murky but it's something and oh my God. Oh my fucking God. What happened to you? What happened to your home? Why aren't you dead?

The form smiles at you. "Be careful with mentioning the Master Creator so much. They're listening, y'know. They can tell when you're talking about Them."

He offers you a hand. Shaking, you take it. You wobble so hard you grab his shoulder, and he pats your wrist.

"Relax, Rosebud, we're gonna go up now. Take my hands." Gently, he takes your hand off his shoulder and interlocks your fingers together. You close your eyes as he pulls you close.

Once you open them, you're no longer on Earth.

You're in an office.

Vaguely relaxing piano music plays in the background. The walls gleam "eggshell white" (whatever that means), and copy-and-paste potted plants commiserate in corners, on shelves, and on top of desks. Rows and rows of cubicles line up in front of you, complete with ancient computers, loud clicking, and early morning groans of "I need more coffee, for fu- fun's sake!" A vending machine and a water cooler stand behind you, with banged-up tables interspersed between those.

Someone rises out of a cubicle. His skin is pale, but his hair is dark. "Reaper Honoret Jr.! Is that—oh my goodness, is that the stray? You did it! It took a few millennia, but you did it!"

Honoret Jr. grimaces. "My bad, Dad. The soul blended in so well, it took me a while... my readings showed complete neutrality. It's like there's no one there." The reaper looked back at you. "I only caught a flicker. Right now, I can't—"

His dad chuckles. "Not Dad. It's Reaper Honoret Sr. to you." He winks. "I'm kidding, y'know how they get around here."

He comes forward and wraps his arms around the boy, then unlatches. Without Honoret Jr's support, you fall to the ground, so you watch as he holds his son's shoulders. "Your bad? What do you mean? I'm proud of you. So, so proud. You're the only one who could even—actually, wait."

He turns to face the cubicles. "Reapers of Thanatos & Co., guess who just caught the stray!"

The clicking stops.

Someone coughs. "You're joking, right?"

"Absolutely not. In fact, it's behind me, right now."

Chairs scoot on scratchy carpet as the reapers of Thanatos & Co. nearly jump out of their cubicles to see you. Forty reapers dressed in some manner of business attire speed walk in your direction. One pushes Honoret Jr. out of the way—his dad has to catch him before he falls on his face.

When they see you, they stop. They start staring at the air around you. They sniff like blood hounds.

After a pause, a reaper with large eyebrows turns to another, eyes wide. "I think... I can't... I literally..."

The other nods. "Same here. Reaper Honoret Sr. isn't lying."

The crowd murmurs in agreement.

A reaper with short pink hair raises his hand. When no one calls on him, he puts it down and mutters something about being new. "Wait, if Reaper Honoret Sr. found the stray, shouldn't we tell the Grand Reaper about it first?"

Once more, the crowd murmurs in agreement.

The eyebrow reaper stares at you—no, not at you. Into you. Like you're not even there. "Before that, we need to know who found it. Reaper Honoret Sr., did you find it? We need someone to congratulate."

He grins. "Nope! My son did." He shook his boy's shoulders.

The reaper raises a brow, then gives the blue-haired reaper a look. "Oh. Well, uhm, congratulations."

The crowd weakly claps. Good job... mhm... congratulations, Junior... and then they disperse back into their leather spin chairs.

Honoret Jr. turns to you and makes a face. "Sorry about that. Office drama. Can't escape it, even in this world."

He doesn't look like a reaper to you. No black cloak, no creepy aura, no skeleton fingers. Kind, colorful, couldn't be a reaper. Nope. Impossible. None of this is.

"You're not believing a lot of things, I know. The first few days are the hardest." He gifts you with another smile. "You'll get there, I promise. I'm here to help.

"Name's Edwin, by the way. You've been calling me Honoret Jr. and that just gives me middle school flashbacks. No thanks."

You can't even make a proper facial expression to react to that. You can't formulate words—or even walk without Edwin holding your hand. He's reading your thoughts, at least. You're basically a vegetable.

He shrugs. "Give it a few hours, Rosebud. The vegetable'll wear off. Your body's just adjusting to this plane. No shame."

You can't speak, so you just think of the word: thanks. My name is—

"Oh, I know what your name is. I've been searching for you for five millennia. I'd be a horrible reaper if I didn't know."

He extends a hand. "Speaking of vegetable and horrible reaper, I bet you're hungry. You're also naked. Let's fix that."

-

Reapers need to eat, surprisingly. Edwin leads you through a myriad of hallways with the exact same paintings and potted plants (this is disgustingly easy to get lost in, you think. Edwin agrees) until you reach the break room. It takes you an hour.

No one's in there except you two. Edwin gave you some of his clothes (kept in another room), so you're wearing a red fit with a black vest and a lime green beanie. He tried to offer his matching ski mask, but you managed to mentally shout "No!" before he put it away. You don't mind wearing his stuff, but you wonder what that could imply. Do reapers...? Actually, you don't wanna think about that.

The break room curves up into a sparkling, plastic chandelier. The rest of the room accommodates a fridge plastered in posters, a microwave, and a dirty coffee maker paired with beige countertops. A pile of paper plates and utensils decorates the left countertop, while a sink occupies the right end. Island tables take up the rest of the center, leaving room for vending machines in the back.

Edwin scrunches his nose. "Who's bummy ass forgot to wash the coffee pot? Ew." He examines it, then starts washing the dishes.

He looks back at you. "You can go raid the fridge. Just don't touch the lunch boxes or uh—bento boxes, I think. Those are Reaper Porter's, and he will get very mad if you touch his bento. I did that once, so he threw a fork at me then said I messed with his feng shui."

Edwin mutters something about unseasoned chicken as he continues scrubbing coffee stains.

You stand up. Your walk is wobbly at best, and you feel like a pile of jello—you're weak in the knees, like jello. But you're getting there. Its better than before. At some point in your hour-long journey to the break room, poor Edwin had to carry you. You felt bad, but at least he's strong. Maybe it's a reaper thing.

You stumble to the fridge. Posters and dates and schedules cover the surface, but you brush past them to find what truly matters: the food.

Reaper office food tastes just as bland as human office food. How sad.

You find that your body works just like it used to. You're hungry, you can feel pain, and you're starting to move. It's like you never died. And now you're in a huge office full of slightly-glowy people who call themselves Reapers and also can't sense you, which is a concept you still don't understand. Or maybe you didn't die? Maybe someone stirred some LSD in your drink? And this is all... a major... acid... trip...

You blink, then pinch yourself. Nope. You're 'swell.

Edwin pulls out a chair. "Now that we're done with the basics, Rosebud, we need to get you registered. You're a bit of a weird case, but you're not too too special. Just uncommon."

He pauses. "Well, actually, you might be a little more special than that. Just a tad."

You give him a look. Something builds in your throat.

"What the fuck?"

He giggles. "Those are your first words on this plane? I—"

"No, seriously. What. The. Fuck." You sound like a cheese grater but you don't care. "I literally have no idea what's going on. I died, I think, then I watched mankind die too as the Earth turned into dandelions, then you went inside of me and threw some pixie dust to make me come back again, suddenly I'm in a 90s sitcom office and I'm naked which literally no one told me about until everyone else saw me as bare as the day I was born and—"

Edwin pats your hand. "All right, all right, let it out, let it out. I'll explain everything. It's just really long." He rubs the back of his neck. "And we're kinda on a time crunch here."

"A time crunch. When it took us an hour just to get a snack."

"Yes, a time crunch. We have about two more hours to get you registered before you become tied to this plane. Then you'll have to become a reaper, like me, and you don't wanna become a reaper." He bites deeply into his peanut butter and banana sandwich. "Shit's hard."

"I can't even—"

"Mhm." He says through a mouthful of peanut butter. "I'm rellay sorreh you're goineh frough thif. I geh how you feel. Eferyone dehs."

He swallows. "We all started out alive. No one's been here since the beginning. Except for some of the seraphim, I guess. But the rest of us? We just humans the Master Creator decided to gift. You're not alone in this. I went through the same bullshit as you. I get it."

You bow your head down. Your thoughts are too jumbled to feel actual anger. "Thanks, Edwin."

"You honestly deserve better, but no problem." He stands up and wipes his hands on a napkin. "Imma clean up after myself, so you can get a head start. We do only have two hours." He yanks you out of the chair. Still chewing, you watch as Edwin shoves you out the break room.

"Wait—hold up—wh—I don't know where I'm supposed to—"

He grins. "You will! Your senses will guide you."

"What— more vague shi—" and the door slams.