#he prob deserves to know he made me bawl so

[janiedean]

How are you Lavi? I was wondering, have you have shared your opinion about the end of Supernatural? I would especially love to hear your thoughts about Destiel and that love confession.

hey! I'm... extremely tired because a lot of stuff is going on that I will partially share on main about soon but has been sapping my energies a lot (i'm OOOLD) but it could be worse, thank you <3

also, wrt spn: I think I did say it in scattered posts but if you want the condensed version:

I had quit spn like early s12 at the hitler episode then I finished it after the ending because I figured I owed it to them after watching the finale live as it aired so... it was something but going in order

I actually greatly enjoyed s12-15 up to the end and I was pleasurably surprised - like okay it was the usual crazy shit half of the time and it def had gone on too long but 12-15 were eons better than the slug that was 9-11 and I had a lot of genuine fun when watching them and like they actually look/are extremely coherent for spn standards so I mostly have positive stuff on the topic like the apocalypse universe was cool, the ketch redemption arc was cool, tombstone and the tarantino episode were a masterpiece (and the 80s rock episode too sdlgkjd same as the scooby doo crossover) and I loved chuck as the villain and how meta that was

concerning deancas and the love confession: I mean as the resident idiot who had written her first deancas fic after 4x03 aired I always thought that they didn't know what they had been doing until like s5 when they realized what they were doing (sorry no one convinces that 5x03 wasn't written by someone who didn't have the deancas agenda in mind in spades) but like I generally thought that if it went somewhere it was gonna end with sam retiring and being a man of letters or smth like that and deancas going off to fight monsters in a way where you could frame it as THEY ARE BEST FRIENDS™ in places where them being gay would be frowned upon

I also thought that if anything happened whether like... either canonization or adjacent-canonization it was gonna be the last five minutes of the series finale because otherwise some parts of fandom wouldn't have let anyone involved with that show live which is why I was pleasurably shocked the confession was in ep 18 and not 20

now: I think the network authorized it and then chickened out when covid hit because the way the entire thing is structured... like sorry but this story starts with cas rescuing dean from hell, in 18 cas ends up in the empty from which he can obviously be rescued, in 19 every single plotline gets wrapped except that one in an episode that can work as a finale-finale if you leave it at that and I'm supposed to think that the og plan for ep 20 didn't include a reverse thing where dean got him out and they made out? sorry at this point bite me I'mma put my money on that esp given that...

... episode 20 is the most useless finale i've ever seen in the sense that literally nothing happens in it, the show itself had fillers where more shit happened like honestly I've never seen 40 minutes of a show that were more... a waste of time and resources and effort as that one, it looked like they told the writers they needed to have dean and sam be bros™ one of them had to die and they met in heaven again and they did that but just that X°D like sorry but the vampire porn diaries had the exact same finale template - one brother dies the other lives a happy normal life and they meet again in heaven -, s8 of tvd was vastly worsely written than spn s15 like i'm not even arguing that, but if you look at tvd finale actually shit happens in it and when you watch it it actually looks decent/wraps things up/makes you feel stuff, the spn finale is just stupid but I can't even be angry at it because imvho it's obvious they did it on purpose X°D but like tldr if the og plans hadn't been scrapped whatever they were they would have had an ep 20 where shit actually happened and that wasn't the drag it was, and like if it had come at the end of a badly written season (like tvd) I'd have just shrugged and whatever but... it came after an actually well-written season that was actually coherent with the previous four ones so I can't believe that was the real endgame content really XD

anyway: the confession was imvho absolutely ic and coherent with the entire thing starting from s4 because like sorry cas being in love with dean since then is just blatantly making sense, I never thought once it was baiting or teasing because only ppl who never watched the show would think the delivery was bad or that either misha or jensen were cringing while saying their lines, cas saying exactly the stuff he said made absolute sense in context, dean's reaction (as much as I'm sure they cut stuff) was absolutely sensed as well and no one tells me he didn't reciprocate bc the entire thing was built so that he'd admit it to himself at the very end and I mean anon my friend my comrade when I watched that episode I cried for twenty minutes straight after I finished it so X°D

like okay yeah part of it was the SEE WE WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG FUCK THE DENIERS but most of it was that I honestly was moved and I found that entire speech extremely heartfelt, meaningful and a whole lot of things I'm not sharing on main because I don't want people deciding stuff based on it but like I have zero negative things to say about that confession, I'm glad it happened and I don't regret catching up also because it happened as it really felt like the natural reaching point of cas's whole arc, I'm just sad that whatever the fuck went on with the cw they didn't let dean have a decent ending bc honestly what the fuck was that thing and they deserved to be happy without presuming they met offscreen in heaven or whatever the fuck but honestly all my issues with spn's ending are with the cw obviously getting cold feet concerning episode 20

tldr: the ending-ending sucked but up until 15x19 I thoroughly enjoyed most of what I saw nonsensical or not because at that point spn was the kinda thing you watched bc you liked it with all the faults it has, I 100% believe that the last episode sucked on purpose because I've never seen a finale done with so little effort after four seasons full of effort ever like not even penny dreadful whose finale imvho sucked on purpose sucked this much but like getting there was worth it and deancas being canon in itself was smth I never thought we'd get this explicitly and I'm very very very happy it happened, peace

[drunkfrogg]

end of the road | ashton irwin

Note: will probs re-draft lmao

Warning(s): a whole ton of sad ash :(( depressy stuff

Summary: Ashton’s just admitted to have cheated on the one he loves. Not only that, he must also face the realisation that maybe he isn’t actually ready to end things.

gif source: @Ifwallscouldtalk

“You know what’s really funny?”

Ashton glanced up at her words, not quite understanding where she was finding humour. After all, he had just admitted he had cheated on her. Not only that, he had just told her he didn’t want to be together anymore. Where on earth was she finding humour?

He didn’t answer. He figured he would only anger or upset her further.

“I remember the first time you kissed me,” she began with an easiness to her tone, no longer tense.

His cheeks already seemed to be aching from the smile that formed at her words, or maybe it was because he had frowned for too long? The muscles being forced into a new position after so long, didn’t feel too pleasant. Then again, she almost certainly wasn’t feeling too pleasant either.

“You said...” she trailed off, eyes narrowed slightly as she glanced up and to the right. “You told me you’d been-”

“Wanting to do that for a while.”

He finished her sentence for her, warmth of old memories replacing this heart-wrenching scene. It wasn’t only him who was smiling, when he glanced up she was too. Though her adoring gaze wasn’t intensely on him like it was before, romance no longer encaptivating them into a whirlwind of companionship and comfort. Instead, she held her gaze to the street traffic of the hectic city multiple stories below them.

He didn’t dare break (what would probably be) the last moment they would share. She needed at least some sort of solace, it was the least she deserved after what he had done to her. He may have betrayed her and inflicted this numbing throbbing through her chest, but he would not leave without offering closure; that is if she asked for it.

Another stoic sip of wine, she barely managed to stop her head from jutting to the side. Jaw stuck in forward, she rolled her neck slowly, eyes closed. To any unsuspecting eyes, she simply looked relaxed, maybe even tired. Though as she let out a shaky sigh, it was evident.

She was crumbling.

Deep breath in, with quivering lips, he could see the emotion she had concealed this whole time. As soon as her lashes fluttered open again, he noticed her eyes for the first time. The usual green-blue now mostly an intense tender green, pain almost seconds from seeping down her cheeks.

“I wonder if you thought the same when you left me.”

Her voice was an awful mixture of voice cracks and whispers. Even her breathing was quivering, like her lips. She tried to meet his gaze, a strong effort. Only he was almost completely blurred, her emotions clouding her sights and trickling down her rosy cheeks.

He could barely catch his breath, let alone words to say to her. Sat in front of this mess of a woman, blubbering like a fish, it was almost comic. She may have even laughed if she wasn’t so wholly, deeply hurt.

“I-” He gasped. “I...”

She didn’t even flinch at his words anymore. Despite pouring her heart out in chocked sobs, she didn’t call him out, didn’t cuss, didn’t even beg for him back. Instead, she raised to her feet. He could only watch as she approached him, sat by his side, and wrapped her arms around him.

His gasps were muffled in her embrace, as he melted into her. His arms were glued around her waist, unable to let go - even if he tried. He was crying into her, once he started, he couldn’t stop. She was still crying too, her cheek against his as their tears combined and sunk together.

He was gasping for air, his lungs free of air as he bawled into her. Once he started, he was fully out of control. He knew he had done wrong, but this time it had completely eaten him up. Guilt wasn’t even the half of it. Aware that he would never get her back was what was driving his break down, at a hundred miles an hour.

“I’m sorry,” he mewled. “I’m so sorry,” he couldn’t stop.

He tightened his grip, nuzzling his face closer to hers, desperate for as much contact he could get. His hands even widened to feel as much of her waist as possible, his leg fully against hers as they twisted to hug. Even every inhale was to breathe in her scent now.

“I love you,” he whimpered.

She pulled back so slowly, he could barely feel her move. Or maybe he was so numb from the realisation of what he had done to the person he loved more than absolutely anyone. It took him to make such an error to understand the harsh reality: he needed her.

When she was no longer cheek-to-cheek with him, she moved to cup his face as he gazed at her. Thumbs tracing his cheekbones, smudging the tears across his skin. He could barely keep his eyes from dropping, exhausted and emotionally beat up.

“I love you,” she whispered. Her eyes reflected sincerity now as her expression changed from gentle to hardened. “I love you,” she affirmed, sincere.

He met her gaze, looking so broken and almost sleepy. “You do?” He asked in an innocent, almost child-like voice.

She nodded. “I do.”

His expression didn’t change, he only took in her features as they fell silent. Her gaze did the same, observing and drinking in everything she had grown to adore. When she glanced between his eyes and his lips, this familiar warmth spread through his head and his veins. He remembered how lucky he really was.

He followed her lead, slowly and hesitantly. Her breath made his tear-stained skin tingle. When she brushed her lips against his, he felt like he’d never been with her before. Never held her, never kissed her, never knew her. He felt like he’d just rediscovered the bliss, the electrifying touch she possessed.

Her lips met his, barely-there and ever so gentle. She was fragile to him, something he had never associated with the resilience and poise she embodied. He let her lead, following slowly as she kissed him again. She was still holding him close to her, savouring his taste.

Their breaths were heavy, the kiss growing deeper, passion sparking as he kept his hands on her waist. He couldn’t get enough of her, despite there being a wall built between them - his own fault for this separation of aching hearts.

She pulled away, her lips still almost brushing his. His breath started to grow uneven. Forehead resting against hers, he could feel his chest tighten. She caressed his cheekbones, her fingers slowly tracing down his face that was falling by the second. When they dropped, he started blinking quicker, eyes widening. When she stood, his shaking hands tried weakly but failed to hold onto her body.

When she walked away, he tried to follow her, but his feet stuck to the ground. Arms heavy, legs heavier, he was anchored to where he sat. Shaking almost violently at this point, the cool New York City air biting at his skin, tainting the tanned skin to a faint, tender red. His eyes welled up already, blurring her retreating figure, a sudden spike of reality and regret puncturing his chest.

His hand fell to his side from where he tried to reach for her, his whole body tensed and quivering. He sank forward, gasping for breath like he’d had the air ripped from his lungs. Though he then realised, on his knees.

He’ll never get her back.

[saveme-ruinme]

Boyfriend Wonho

A/N: this wasnt supposed to be this long but whatevs also wrote this on mobile will sort out the formatting later. some smut in there just to warn you

is too good for this world, too pure

LOVES you

Like would give anything for you Honestly thinks hes the luckiest person in the world for having you and is always sure to remind you of that all the time

Big soft baby with a heart of gold so you gotta take care of him and make sure hes always happy

Its that thing where he is so big and physically intimidating but is actually made of rainbows and sunshine

Where you are tiny and not intimidating in the least and ready the fight e v e r y o n e

And you will. You would fight any and everyone for shin hoseok you dont care anyone hurts your soft boyfriend they better be ready catch these hands

Hoseok knows too so everytime you gettin ready to throw hands he will pick you up throw you over his shoulder and leave while apologising to whoever you were tryna fight

That being said, you turn into goo around him

Its hard not to really because like have you seen his smile?????

Everytime he smiles at you or you make him laugh your heart grows three sizes and your life expectancy is lengthened by 3 years

Hoseok an actual angel tho omg

Willing to do anything for you his bby

Cries at the sad parts in movies

Like that sad part in Up made him bawl so hard that you had to ban him from watching disney/pixar movies

Mostly bc seeing him cry made u cry

You guys are on the couch watching a kids movie and ugly crying against each other

Its a Mess™

Feeds you all the time

Hes a big dude and hes thick af so boy has gotta eat so hes always suggesting going out to eat for date ideas lmao

If u try and tell him youre on a diet he will refuse and practically spoon feed you no diets are acceptable with hoseok around

Doesnt matter what you look like he doesnt care he just wants you to be happy and healthy

That being said if u rly did want to diet to get healthy and fit will make sure you do it properly with a nutritionist and planned balances meals and going to the gym and eating good food

Bc he’ll be damned if hes gonna watch u suffer and starve through shutty juice cleanses and no carb diets like no honey

is 1000000% supportive of you no matter what

Will try his best to support you in absolutely everything

Hug Machine™

Always down for hugs and kisses basically all the pda he does not care he just rly loves you

Tends to pull you onto his lap and wrap his arms around you

Probs doesnt even realise its pda hes so casual and liberal with physical affection that sometimes you go the whole day feeling wrong for some reason if wonho doesnt give u some type of lovin

Speaking of some type of lovin

So goddamn giving that it sometimes makes u feel bad if u dont return the favor

Like if he knows u had a bad day will just super casually eat u out til ur shaking and trying to push him away bc its too much

Doesnt let you return the favor either bc ur upset even if hes got a raging hard on will just be like ‘shhhhh no its fine drink some water i will make u food now’

And ur like hoseok what about u??????

He just laughs and walks away

Feel like sex will be playful

If its not super intimate and romantic then hes probs trying to make u laugh

Not all that adventurous just wants to please you and make you cum

Gets whiny and flustered when you tease him

Most likely to watch you in awe when you do suck him off

Honestly just super comfortable about sex tho hes chill about it

Its nice to do but not essential to your relationship like he’d be cool if you were asexual or hypersexual its no big deal to him

Also lowkey the jealous type

Not the angry/assertive jealous type more like sees someone tryna put the moves on u will slink over and throw himself all over like heeeeeyyyyyy my lovely girlfriend whom i love most in the world bc we are def dating and im your faithful boyfriend

Youre just standing like laughing bc this guy was pissing you off tbh and you were to slap someone and then he comes along like this wrapping you up in his huge arms being ridiculous

You love it tho

Gets giggly and blushy when you kiss him

Loves it when you backhug him tho he will unwrap your arms to pull you around and hug you properly

Always knowing how hes feeling bc he wears his emotions on his sleeve so be prepared for that

But him being so emotional makes you comfortable about expressing yours since he wont ever judge you about it even if you had a nervous breakdown about it

Wont push you for it either he will wait for you to open yourself up and is ready to open his big arms to you when you need it

Hes an actual literal teddy bear bc he loves cuddling dont try and fight me on this hoseok looooooooves cuddling

His favourite part of the day is bring close like that to you

Any cuddle position is a good cuddle position

You know that one photo where hes asleep on minhyuk on that couch where his head and arms are resting on minhyuks back and hes got one leg thrown over his

Thats what i imagine sleeping with hoseok is like hes always pressed up close to you

Sometimes slightly suffocating bc of his large size but tbh you would die happily like that

Has some big ass clothes for you to drown in too

I imagine his shirts and hoodies to be hella big which means you could wear them and have maximum comfort

Does not mind at all if you steal his clothes highkey loves it and has a folder on his phone dedicated to pictures of you wearing his clothes

Actually has a number of folders dedicated to you most of his camera roll is you

Gets whiny when the members tease him about you he will get all blushy and tell them to stop teasing him

Exactly no one listens and does it more

So youre like lmao ur just jealous and straight up make out with hoseok on the spot

Which will make him flustered and embarrassed but also get smug when the members are yelling at you guys to get a room

No one in this world deserves him like honest to god he is the the best person on this cruel earth

ANYWAY IF UR GONNA DATE WONHO MAKE SURE YOU MARRY HIM BC HES PERFECT AND SOFT AND WILL TREAT YOU RIGHT

PROTECT WONHO THO HES TOO PURE FOR THIS WORLD LOOK AFTER HIM RIGHT PLS

[thatsggirl]

2am thots

 what’s real: 

i have adenomyosis

i have something ‘similar’ to irritable bowel syndrome, according to my weirdly vague specialist which leads me to have a pretty restrained low FODMAP diet that i try to stick to

my immune system’s also pretty whack

my chronic illness honestly affected such a big portion of my life i don’t even know where to begin, but i’ve grown to adapt to it probably in a very unhealthy way but oh well

i hate my fucking family, but most of my trauma probs came from my dad

i got sexually assaulted at a party when i was passed out and deadass thought i was going to be pregnant because i found out that i had a UTI but somehow that wasn’t the worst thing to happen to me 

highkey want to cut off most of the people in my life now, or at least it feels like it, but honestly i fucking deserve better. i guess 2019 is the year to rediscover the fact that i really had no fucking boundaries, is what happens when you grovel enough and befriend your childhood bullies. At least now i realize that they’re fucking pathetic now, remember when they made you hella suicidal and you moulded your entire being so as to be their friend? even though you were dealing with being sick and so many of your own goddamm problems? yeah you didn’t actually have to do that, is what i would have told my 13 year old self because you know what they actually have? no friends. a fair comparison and i should have realized that i shouldn’t have thought that i was whiny. doesn’t matter if they’ve ‘changed’, even though you know they really haven’t, an apology wasn’t given, and you don’t have the obligation to continue associating with them just because you feel bad. pity’s something i should probably save for myself. furthermore this is a stress related illness, remember when you had intestinal metaplasia? yeah. be like everybody else, be a little bit selfish, or at least invest your care into people who are more deserving of it, invest it into your health you dumb bitch, cause its fucking precarious and weak as fuck. emotional instability and an unstable home life led you to make those choices when you were young. blame shouldn’t be placed. but now that you have information and hindsight with you, make healthier choices. 

the truth, i’ll try to be as honest as possible. god knows i should at least be that on my own private account. 

i withdrew from a pretty prestigious methodist institution called ACJC because of my chronic illness. I hated the conservative culture there as Satan embodied as a teacher that gave me the most amount of fevers i had in a year. I got alot of shit for dropping out and everything that i went through there hit me really hard. God knows the tips for college post i reblogged much earlier on was correct, because you really should not fucking make friends just for the sake of having friends. because you will end up having a fundamentalist Christian as a friend, who thinks that jews are of the devil and made a petition that Article 377A should not be repealed. but you will feel guilty! because you’re an easily pressured fuck and he apparently ‘helped you through some tough times’. glad i cut that fucker out of my life

i’m smart, i have so much fucking potential and i’m not going to feel inferior about myself because of what my illness and an apathetic school culture provided me with. i tried my fucking best, the overworked fevers can prove that to you. often i lie to my friends because it really seems that the series of bad luck that follows me is too ridiculous to seem real. but it is. and i should just be honest. 

my dog would be another sensitive topic. i love my dog, i still fucking love it. i loved it so much i bawled and screamed when my brother used to strike it. and i know people think that i’m that fucking girl who got a dog and then abandoned it with someone else after she got sick of it. but i didn’t. my family’s nowhere a fucking conducive place to take care of ANYTHING at all. 

i’ve recently been having so much anxiety, is that how to define it, or insecurities/intrusive thoughts i;ve been having tension headaches, overeating and sleeping excessively. i havent been able to focus on my revision and probably just fucked up my finals because of it. 

everybody has been obsessed with portraying a false depiction of their life after graduation, and i’ve been lying my ass off. but here’s some of the truth that i can at least admit to myself.

will post more in the future 

[seonnho]

Your thoughts on the official members of Wanna One?

first off their group name makes me sknfdjksknjds but what can we do !!

daniel - i’m quite neutral towards him, i think he’s a great dude and talented but i’m not gonna scream over him or anything. was a bit miffed at emoji gate and how after open up won some of his fans were like…. super happy over the fact that he still won in the end…lowkey glorifying cheating…uh ok….also got kinda tired of mnet milking the lil woojin/daniel relationship when they kept showing daniel’s reactions to everything single thing woojin did but that’s not his fault at all and CONGRATS ON FIRST PLACE FOR HIM !! …..just very neutral i’m not over the moon or anything  

jihoon - also very neutral…i watched the nayana performance when it first came out and i had a very adverse reaction to his wink oOPS so i was kinda like wut. @ his popularity. he can dance !!! not too sure about his singing/rapping since all that comes to mind is that blasted high note in boy in luv. he’s reeeeally cute but again i’m not gonna scream over him i’m so jealous of his eye shape? it’s so pretty and his jeojang makes me laugh and he’s a smart kid!! like wearing neon shoelaces so ppl can spot him better and all that stuff 

daehwi - i rlly liked daehwi’s energy in his intro vids (THE BOX AHHH) cause he seemed so confident and stuff but i have to admit i got pretty pissed at the whole avengers thing, i know he got evil edited and it’s a competition so of course you’d want to win but i just didn’t like how everyone targeted the team with F’s and D’s :/ that was everyone’s mentality tho so not his fault !! i’m over that though and i’m glad he made it !!! he’s a rlly fast learner and his dancing is so good!! and singing too and that english pronunciation !!! his friendship with somi is so wonderful too

jaehwan - vocal god kim jaehwan !!! i like him a lot and i’m shocked he ranked 4th but he deserves it !!!! i’m really happy that he got to debut with minhyun but i’m sad about sewoon :^(( their relationship is so nice and he’s rlly quirky and i his psychopathic laughter skjfkndknjsd. i think he’s a much needed addition to the group vocally…he works rlly hard at dance too and he pulled off sorry sorry and never rlly well….OFFICIAL GOAT OF THE SHOW THAT LETTUCE GIF I’M CRYING

seongwoo - ong deserves it !!!!! what else can i say LOL i’m rlly happy he gets to debut !! he dances well and doesn’t he like….rank real high with male fans WHICH IS !!!!! also super funny sdfgnkds pLS i look forward to seeing more of him and i rlly like his stage presence !!

woojin - my dude……he went from like 75th place to 6th i’m banging pots n pans outside my house rn i thought he was rlly good looking (wHEW) during the audition and i liked his rapping? SO HE WAS ON MY RADAR SINCE THEN and that center performance !!!!! sealed the deal i rlly like his rapping voice and dancing and he’s so cute fdnkjskdnfjs also his dark past i’m screaming i hope that side of him comes out more !!! he performed never with shingles i’m just……..u deserve everything woojin….aLSO SNAGGLETOOTH….ALL I’M GONNA SAY..

guanlin - i love swaggy rapper guanlin a lot and when his gummy smile comes out i’m just like awWWW !!! tbh cube trainees were so precious and endearing? u can make the argument that he’s not talented, only 6 months of training but i just really enjoyed seeing his growth throughout the show. i was scared bc he seemed to have given up during practice for nayana when he was in D class but i think everything turned out ok! he surprised me when he made so many suggestions for the fear performance with the rest of the team i was like !!! yeah! go guanlin!!! and i think he could use some work on enunciation during rapping, esp english (when boa pointed that out i was like :O me too) he’s a curious kid and willing to learn i think that’s one of his really good qualities and also his drop to 20th sdknkfjskndjs i was like hey…..if ur gonna keep him in the top 11 for the majority of the show LET HIM STAY THERE TF…i love guanlin i’m glad he made it :’)

jisung - i’m glad jisung made it !!! when i heard the ranking announcement i was like hey!! u made it !!! CONGRATS!!!!!!!!! and when his dad did the circle clap thing i drowned in my tears but i’m looking forward to seeing him on variety shows!! his singing is also rlly nice and maybe he has the best chance of being leader? i’m glad he made it.

minhyun - uM THE ENTIRE REASON I WATCHED THIS SHITFEST WAS FOR NU’EST AND MINHYUN IS MY BIAS AND WHEN HE MADE IT I STARTED BAWLING IT WAS NOT OK my mentality was i’d be happy if minhyun and jonghyun made it but that….did not….happen fuckgnfjdsfdks he looked so sad when everything ended idek what to think but !!! i’ll be supporting him wholeheartedly during his time with wanna one. he has a rlly good eye? he formed the iconic justice league and basically predicted the exact order of the never team n his voice is so soft n nice and i think god blessed him with long legs and good physique anyways i love minhyun a lot i hope i get to see him happy again

jinyoung - uh…………….being very honest here not one of my choices for top 11 so i wasn’t cheering when 10th place was announced :’(( i don’t hate him and every trainee has worked hard but….ok he gained confidence throughout the show!!! that’s real good to hear but i do not like his singing? sounds more like screaming to me idk why the vocal trainers were praising him sjkdkfnds it’s not like i’m qualified to analyze singing but i’m not a big fan of it…..at this point u can prob tell i have something against previous avenger team members…can’t exactly pinpoint what…i guess i don’t get the hype around them/their looks but i will try to warm up to him!! he also bit jihoon tf and his friendship with daehwi is so pure

sungwoon - i like sungwoon!! i had this dream about him n it was horror related and very gruesome and just ???? why tf but after that i was like ok….ha sungwoon…..ok……i see u…..i felt bad for him getting kicked out of never when he did the dance perfectly PLUS HE CAN SING and pure cinnamon roll !!! i don’t have much to say LOL i’m not mad over him being 11th it’s just at that point i was devastated over jonghyun’s rank so i basically tuned out most of top 2 and 11th place reveals :///

THIS IS SO LONG LOL i’m still sad about jonghyun and samuel and i was rlly hoping seonho and hyungseob could make it but THIS IS REALITY AND I’M GOING TO ACCEPT IT AND SUPPORT THEM 

[violenceeisgolden]

Tmi/tw/an update

Had such strong cravings for alcohol/such strong urges to say "fuck my health, I'm already fucked, lets fucking lose all this weight you gained in recovery, buy some adderall and vodka and allllll the opiates in the world and at least enjoy however many shitty yrs you have left" except like ???? Okay, so my private insta kept !! Getting !! Fucking deleted !! Idk why, like yeahh i bitch about my drug problems and my mental illness but i have never shared a triggering picture? Meanwhile all these accts with people fkn shooting up are still up? Huh what a concept So anyway, i was thinking of making a side blog. Or i could just vent on here i guess but posting on my side blogs sounds safer. Damn. Been out of the Tumblr world for a while now. Anyway, since it's quite clear that I don't care about a fkn thing anymore... lemme give you all a lil update on the joke that is my life. This one's gonna be EPIC. So. Uh. First things first... I made it five days without any form of any opiate in my system. I did not eat anything in those 5 days. (Wanna lose weight?! Just get addicted to painkillers and develop crohns, then quit your painkillers cold turkey!!! You'll drop 10 lbs in a week!) I did not keep many fluids down, aside from the days when i was in the hospital. I was shitting and puking blood by the fourth day, because my body had nothing left in it to get out. I still smell like the stench of withdrawal - aka, overpowering body odor, desperation, sadness, guilt... etc. On the fourth day, my "stool" was nothing but black and blood.. I knew my potassium was low, not including sodium, etc. Was starting to get chest pains. Blah blah blah. IST was acting up. Whatever. I knew I had no choice but to go to my shitty hometown clinic (and... yeah i hate NOTHING more than that fucking place). Luckily, I got this cool 1st shift dr who appreciated my extensive knowledge of my esophageal and colonic conditions. She also gave me morphine. But I mean, 4mg through an IV is like... nothing. But.. that fucking rush. Whenever I get IV narcotics in hospitals, it's a nice reminder for me to forever stay tf away from needles. Anywhoooo Moving along. So i got some fluids/potassium, two of my veins are dead now (not even bc of drug use, as i stated above.. legitimately because I've had one too many IVs placed or wtf ever) so they had to stick me a million and one times and i was like :))))) yeahhhh keep causing more pain guys because ya know. I can just fucking take it obviously!!! And then.. this bitch drops the bomb that i realllyyyyy have been hoping was NOT true for like... ya know... a fucking year... that... okay fuck it, you guys all know i am a shit person anyway, lets add onto it.. anyway yeah. I have herpes. And my HPV is progressing. Still dunno about those cancerous cells bc no one tells ME ANYTHING but she said i have a severe pelvic infection that is travelling towards my liver. So they're like "lets do a REALLY intense course of antibiotics" and im like ??? Fucking a man im getting mad just writing this all out. Anyway i was like uhm. How tf am i supposed to keep down antibiotics when i CAN'T EVEN KEEP DOWN WATER THAT IS WHY I'M FUCKING HERE JFCCCC. And they were like "yeah we're aware but you legit do not have a choice" bc yeah, don't want my liver to go downhill (I've been such a lil fuck to my drs lately.... could not care less tho bc they deserve my bluntness) so i called my new case worker (she is super chill, super gay, lets me swear and call my drs fuckers as much as i want, which is dope) and basically explained, she said she's gonna try and get me back on subs legally so i can at least nourish myself and keep my health up (ill still be in pain but I'm learning that id rather have my body not slowly dying and be in pain... what a cool sacrifice. I also was like... "Hey yeah no hospital is gonna admit me rn... and my health is worse now than it was in '14 when i weighed 60 lbs less so like... I'm going to use street subs. Or opiates in general. For a few days. So i can get my electrolytes back somehow... also did i mention i have herpes? *bawling ensues* anywhooo... Just thought I'd let you know." And she was like "Fair enough. You need to eat." And i was like okay cool tell my dr and his bitchy nurse that usually replies to my messages bc i do not need anymore fucking stigma rn .. okay? Tyvm" so that was.. that i guess. So yeah. I used. On day 5. And... i didn't even truly fucking want to. That's the worst fucking part of this whole fucked up bullshit... I WANT TO PROVE EVERYONE WRONG AND SHOW THEM THAT I CAN DO THIS. And i could have. If it wasn't for my poor health... i fucking could have. And I'm gonna tell that to my pdoc when I see him. But you know what? I fucking ate. I kept down a loooottttt of liquids. Opiate wds technically cannot kill you. And the thing is... I've been through the "near fatal" ones (booze and benzos)... but I always caught my alcohol dts super fast, got treated and then away i went. But no. Opiate withdrawals will not be dangerous~~~..... to a person who is in decent health. I say decent bc lbs if you're using them either legally or illegally, something is already prob wrong lol. I remember a story that my ex sponsor who is now a good but distant friend (who relapsed, and when she relapsed, we became close lol shes sober now tho dw) told me once about opiate dts... she said one of her friends was so dehydrated, malnourished, etc... that he almost did die. And it took him almost dying for anyone to take him seriously. And, as I was laying in that miserable hospital bed... I remembered that. Opiate wds cannot kill you, but you're gonna wanna a) kill yourself, because it's honestly fucking easier that way (or so your mind will tell you) and b) if you're in poor health... try and find a detox center/hospital that will take you. ASAP. On tuesday... fuck i lost my train of thought... (in other news, i now have a promethazine script and... boy oh boy lol probably the best non naroticc/not scjeduled drug I've ever gotten my grubby lil hands on)... yeah idk that's all I publicly got rn. If you actually read all this... 👀 @ you, Ashley, bc ik you're the only one who reads my shit on here anymore (love you for that, btw 💜)... but yeah if you read this all, you guys are the real MVPs... I'm gonna start using one of my private blogs on here. Mainly because..welll...its fucking private and also really enjoy the fact that i saved the URL "clonqz3pain" so... yeah that's all I got. Hope you all are doing better than me.

[swearronchanel]

Who let me watch 5.06?

I should be doing an assignment that’s due tomorrow but ya know due tomorrow means do tomorrow. Lol I know I should be ashamed to be a procrastinator but university has ruined me anyway. I’m tired from literally going to one lecture haha, but in any event I’ve been rewatching mad men for the who knows what time but I thought I’d take a break from all that and watch an episode of CtM & @flyingnonny inspired me to do a reaction post so why not? I decided on 5.06 since last Sunday’s episode reminded us of that camping trip 😂😂  here goes nothing.. 

*skips intro bc I’m impatient*

Cute community moment ☺️

TRIXIE😍 slaying my life

Shelagh looks so good too 😍 and Angela melting my heart!

Why is shelagh forever wearing cardigans? I like cardigans every now and then but all the time, really?

Everyone is sitting outside, Trixie is in a sleeveless dress, as is Barbara, so it has to be warm?? take it off Shelagh

She’s still my bby though even if I don’t always agree with her fashion choices

what gross vejo pinching Trixie’s ass? That’s not ok

And Babs too lmao, creepy old man, die

Shelagh saying “hello dear” aw

But this is like the only interaction between Shelagh and Trixie & that does not suffice !!

ALL I WANT IS FOR THEM TO HAVE AN ACTUAL FRIENDSHIP IDC HOW MANY TIMES IVE SAID IT I REALLY Want it😭😭💕💕 my two fav bbys

I HAVE EVEN GIVEN REASONS WHY & I CAN GIVE THEM AGAIN ***        1) Why not?? Shelagh has like no real friends besides her husband and sort of Sister Julienne?                                                 

 2) just please, because I’m asking nicely                                                     3) When Shelagh was Sister Bernadette she was often friendly/ in the gossip and conversation with the nurses & remember that one time Trixie grabbed her to come listen to Jenny’s phone conversation?               

4) Trixie was the only one besides Sister Julienne to visit her in the sanatorium. That has to count for something!                                             5) They’ve both been on the show since day 1 & have known each other the longest (besides the nuns) why wouldn’t they be friends or least actually speak to each other?

Aye this is the lady who’s fake pregnant

Shelagh wearing earrings though >> here for it

Sorry there will be a lot of gushing over Shelagh and Trixie

And also I WANT TRIXIE’S HOOP EARRINGS SO BAD, where can I find them??

And how do I get her clothes and figure and her everything lol?

PHYLLIS ! My champion

“Would it have killed you to sit down for five minutes and eat the whole thing!” I LOVE HER, SHE IS A GEM, A HERO, A BADASS & IM NOT READY FOR SUNDAY. IM GOING TO BAWL WITH AND FOR HER

she deserves the best

I think this is the only time I’ve ever heard Trixie address Shelagh by her first name?? a prob.

They need to interact more 😭💔💕😍 I will stop saying it when I’m dead even then I’ll prob say it

Actually when I think of it no one ever calls Shelagh by her first name besides obviously Patrick? And Sister Julienne

#MoreShelaghAndTheOtherNursesInteracting2k17aka1962

And I need at least two seconds of them dotting on pregnant Shelagh

Helen looks so good like goals

“I threatened to put one man over my knee but that only encouraged him” HA IM DEAD NO KINK SHAME

I think there’s been a similar joke before but fuck it it’s still funny to me

But seriously everyone loves Trixie lol how could you not though?

Hey Pats, it’s been a while

Lol omg Tim in that uniform.. Not the best costume 😂😂

Never seen Whistle Down the Wind

But you see, Tom and Babs making out as usual, I’m not knocking it lol but this is why Sister J told her to chill when they went to South Africa😂

also lowkey jealous bc Jack Ashton is handsome af and that could’ve been me but it’s all good. He and Helen are adorable together and I’m here for it x10000

Omg I forgot this lady got assaulted

Oh shit I just remembered this is the episode where sister MC is attacked FUCK WHY DID I WATCH THIS

she can’t report it bc she’d get arrested for soliciting wtf

But remember Shelagh wore the headbands in like series 3 (so glad she stopped I was not here for it)? They must’ve gave them to Babs lol

I forgot Trixie didn’t tell the nurses about AA yet

But she looks gorgeous as ever, even with her mascara running

Lowkey nauseas looking at all that fish ugh. Funny becuase they put a grocery store that has a fish market on the block up from where I live in NYC and I hate it  

I forgot about Peter lol and he was in an episode this series whoops

LIKE WHERE’S YOUR WIFE LOL, *I know, too busy for this, I don’t think she’d fit in the series anymore anyway*

Sister Mary Cynthia 😰❣️

Lol she doesn’t sing loud enough ??

Sister Julienne is so cute when she smiles but don’t forget she’s a badass

REMEMBER THE AGGRESSIVE JACKET FLAP BC OF THE IRRITATING SISTER URSULA

How did this girl hide her pregnancy though?

And did her brothers just not realize she was pregnant and the mother wasn’t?

Oh jeez my cousin was a colic-y baby and my parents kept him like 3 days a week when I was in high school & it was a nightmare. I didn’t sleep for so long

Dont get me wrong I love babies. But when they scream when I’m trying to sleep, nope. Return to sender.

Shelagh is so excited about camping it’s the purest and most adorable thing 😭😭And I like her shirt  

Shelagh made Tim copy the napkin folding from a magazine, SHE IS A GEM

“We never have serviettes on a weeknight” wtf did they just not use napkins every day? I’m confused Lmaoo. What am I missing here 😂omg that reminds me of one of the times my family and I went on a cruise (2006, hella long time ago already wow?? 11 yrs yikes) and my brother & cousin were late to dinner and lied to my mom & aunt saying they were at a “napkin folding class” & my family deadass believed it up until 2 years ago😂

Shelagh’s accent is so cute. I’ve said that many times but it’s so sweet. But again why do we just have to accept she’s Scottish with no context as to how/why she came to England? Like I’m sure there were convents in Scotland. I dont even care that much I just will forever be curious as to why it seems she had no life before she got married lol? Like they don’t ever bring up the fact she was a nun, but ok maybe she feels awkward talking about it but what about before? 

They’re so excited it’s so precious, protect this family 😂😭💕💕

Sister MJ is fasting lol I should try it😂

Omg another dumb story, I didn’t realize today is Ash Wednesday and was hella confused seeing some people with ash on their forehead 😂😂 I should give up something for lent but idk what, we shall see. My mom gave up carbs last year & I died bc I lived at home and ate what she cooked and almost all my fav foods are carbs😂

Shelagh referred to Patsy as Patsy, I’ve only ever heard her say Nurse Mount??

lol Tim you’re what 14? you know damn well those arent* bullet holes

at least he has some of his innocence still. I didn’t @ 14

Sometimes I forget I’m gonna be 19 this year wtf. I’ve accidentally told people I’m 16 before and had to correct myself 😂😂

Patrick is excited about this holiday, boy you don’t know what’s coming 😂

HE’S GONNA ATTACK THE LADY WITH A BABY I FORGOT THAT TOO WTF

I wanna fight him

Diane’s anemic ? Or her mum is just assuming

SHELAGH IN HER CAMPING OUTFIT!! The hair scarf and trousers !! I’m so here for it 😍😭

I want to see her in another pair!! yes lets get it 1962. Probably not likely this series but hopefully next series!! Ah can’t wait

Shit this series is almost over 💔💔 but omg 1963 gonna be lit as well?!

Like the space race started/orbiting the earth, Kennedy’s assassination .. wait never mind lol I’m thinking of American History moments. but still a lot of it was crazy world news so maybe it’s mentioned?? first bond film came out in'63, petition for Tim to go take Susan whatever from around the corner to see it since we know he liked the novels

Lots of famous films came out in ‘63 so there’s gotta be some reference.

Fun fact: I love pop culture references in period drama bc I’m lame jk I’m majoring in education (to teach history)

Old news but still relevant: Phyllis’s turn on: Rolodex systems 📇

“CRANE, as in the wading bird or industry lifting equipment, whichever you prefer” LOVE U PHYLLIS, YOU CORRECT HIM

PHYLLIS’S FACE WHEN GODFREY SUGGESTS SHE CAME OUT OF RETIREMENT, IM DEAD

“I shall consider retirement when I’m at the appropriate age”  IM LAUGHING SO HARD, FUCK YEA PHYLLIS. I LOVE HER SO MUCH, LINDA BASSET IS ON THE LIST WITH LAURA AND HELEN OF PEOPLE WHO COULD PUCH ME IN THE FACE AND I’D THANK

LOL SHELAGH JUST STANDING AWKWARDLY LISTENING TO THIS CONVERSATION

“Buenos vacaciones”  I NEED MORE PHYLLIS WORKING ON HER SPANISH I LOVE IT, Ella es oro.

lol the roof rack, bet it was Phyllis’s they borrowed when they moved

PHYLLIS’S FACE OF DISGUST WHEN DR GODFREY SMILES AT HER IS ME ALWAYS

LOL THE THE NURSES & SISTER WINIFRED DYING OVER PATRICK’S SHORTS (EVen though sister W “swears she’s not looking”)

I THINK THE SOCKS AND WHITE DAD SANDALS ARE MORE AMUSING 😂😂

Poor Judith💔

It’s a vicious attack Sister J! But you don’t know it yet so I get u

Here comes summer..😂

SETTING UP IN THE POURING RAIN LOL

Shelagh and Angela being adorable !!

Tim and Patrick proud that  they set the tents up & boom it falls 😂 which is symbolic for me taking exams, I think I did well or at least decent on them and then I find out I failed by like 5 points

Nonnatus table scenes <3 😭

”I’ve seen more dangerous marshmallow bunnies“ lmao Pats this is a serious moment I shouldn’t laugh

Shelagh took off her glasses 😉😏 but fr how is Laura Main so perfect

Patrick put scotch in its lit, pass it over😏

Lol Shelagh drinking is a strange thought but I’m so here for it. Nuns can’t drink right? Idk. Imagine her drinking alcohol for the first time and just getting drunk 😂 we know Patrick and Tim are lightweights getting drunk off one beer so I assume shelagh would too😂

Damn it Patrick, you spilled your cup. Furthermore proving you’re a disaster 😭

LMAO SHELAGH’s “WTF” FACE WHEN SHE ASKS PATRICK WHAT HE’S THINKING ABOUT AND HE SAID THE ULCER CLINIC

LIKE C'MON PATRICK YOU KNOW WHERE SHELAGH WAS TRYNA GO WITH THAT😂

“And if you don’t mind my saying so, you’re not exactly Cliff Richards yourself” SHELAGH 😂😂 another great line of hers, love it

I love their playful banter lol we need more of that 😂 but lets be real series 6 has had some of the greatest Shelagh and Patrick moments so I can’t complain 😭😍

Peter and Barbara is such a unusual dynamic haha

“How is chummy?” Wait does Babs even know Chummy? I don’t even remember if they met tbh

But for real Shelagh did you really think Patrick would just forget about work completely ??

Lol Angela crying because she is petrified of squirrels😂😂and Shelagh running to her is so cute.

Why didn’t she just get rid of the *creepy* squirrel nutkin book? it seemed like they still had it in series 6 haha

rice pudding is I think the same as aroz con leche, lol it’s gross sorry

Diane’s water broke oh shit

the Turners all in the tent playing I spy bc it’s raining haha

I went camping for the first and last time this past summer w/ my sister in laws & her friends, it was awful 😂😂 I got like 100 mosquito bites that became welts, i literally slept in the car the second night & it was mid July fairly south of east coast aka it was humid and sticky af , there were wild horses that walked around..Thank God they brought alcohol cause it was a nightmare I don’t wanna remember 😂😂

ANGELA IS SO CUTE UGH & ANOTHER GREAT SHELAGH FACE😂

lol yes go to a hotel, should’ve done that from the get

So what exactly does Fred run? some civil defense thing?

She’s in labor and can’t even scream omg, I’m screaming

“They are often incorrect in their opinion” Sister MJ is a gem. I want someone to look at me the way Sister MJ looks at cake and the television

Phyllis yelling at Dr Godfrey😂

PATS’S FACE OF DISGUST IS ALSO ME

HOW DO THESE WOMEN GIVE BIRTH STANDING/SITTING UP?? AHHHH

There you are Beatrix, it’s been a while

Patsy being suspicious with the card game line lol. but when is Trixie going to find out about Patsy and Delia?

SHE RIPPED OUT HER WOMB?! WTF OMG IM SCREAMING

THIS HURTS TO WATCH AHH

Trixie and Sister MC to the rescue but omg this is wild I forgot

Fred wtf you can’t be sneaking up like that

DONT LEAVE SISTER MC ALONE TRIXIE

NOO, IM NOT PREPARED FOR THIS

“There are flowers on the table, and feathers in these pillows, that’s all the nature I need to get back to” I feel you Patrick lol, I like nature but not camping

Lol remember Shelagh’s old nightgown? ah I don’t miss it. The bri nylon is such a look™ & obviously has magically powers i.e this miraculous conception.

“..or they’ve been mulled to death by squirrels” IM DEAD HAHA THAT WAS A GOOD DAD JOKE, NICE ONE PATRICK

aw the baby is so precious

Why is the operating room/being in surgery called theatre in the U.K.?? and why is the doctor’s office/practice called the surgery? so many questions from a confused American..

Sister MC by the docks😭💔 she was just chillin with God and THIS HORRIBLE MAN RUINS EVERYTHING WTF UGH

Oh no

SISTER MC JUST UNCONSCIOUS ON THE DOCKS WTF IM CRYING WHY WOULD HURT HER

Patrick even if you were there she wouldn’t have called you, don’t blame urself

it’s not your arrogance sister MC!!

“don’t you even say the word fault, do you hear me, I won’t allow it” 😭💔 it’s NOT your fault sister MC 😰

I forgot how upset/hurt this episode makes me

“The worst thing is that I actually stopped to pray…” my heart hurts

You can’t even blame her for being angry😪

Judith you’re not a bad mother!! This isn’t your fault either

Sister MJ IN THE BATHROOM WITH HER😢😢💔💔 I’m c r y i n

I SAID PROTECT THEM AT ALL COSTS WHY DID THEY HURT ME LIKE THIS

Everyone so quiet at the table..

ILL FOREVER BE PROUD OF HOW BRAVE SISTER MC IS FOR SPEAKING UP FOR HER AND THE OTHER VICTIMS💖😭💔

Russian prison tats??

“I thought at first it was a test of faith, but it was a test of strength. I can bear more than I ever though I could and I can bear it for others because my strength is a gift, from him..” brb sobbing

I feel so bad for Mrs Hills bc I understand she thought she was doing the right thing and was trying to protect her daughter from the stigma & judgment from having a baby born outta wedlock 😭

But damn she almost killed her & now she can’t have any more kids

“I’m a mum, mum” Aw

lol I want children (obviously not anytime soon) but if I do Ima be shook for the rest of my life. Like my kids will  be like grown & I’ll still wake up like wtf I had them?  Lmaoo

SHELAGH’S GREY DRESS >>😍

Patrick jumping on the bed was cute lol

The Turners being cute and an unrealistically perfect family together as usual

Trixie 😍off to her AA💕

“I think it’s about time I came clean..”

Im so proud of her omg. She’s come so far in 6 series 😭💖💖😭

And Patsy and Delia are supportive yess👏🏼

“New truths were being spoken at Nonnatus house, but some remained concealed. While one voice rose, striving to erase its agony in song.”

Thanks Vanessa,, The End 😭

[purplesurveys]

456

Got any nicknames that you rarely even use? Nah, my one nickname is used a lot. Nevermind what gender you ARE, what gender do you WANT to be? I’m fine being female. Do you ever feel ashamed revealing your age? Not at all, I get happier when I finally get to say it with one more added year. Probably because I’ve always wanted to break out of that long ass period of being a teenager and being overlooked and invalidated and all those rebellious blunder years as well. Working anywhere? No. I’m interning in a PR company starting next Thursday, though! What's your favorite thing to put in your mouth? Japanese or Indian food.

What about the worst? Accidentally-eaten raisins. Have any allergies? Nope. I’m just glad I’m not allergic to any food. One of my closest friends, Kate, is allergic to eggs, chicken, and meat; and a lot more people i know are allergic to seafood and I’m sooooooooooooooooo frustrated for them. Are you confident enough to reveal your height and weight? Sure. I don’t mind being tiny and I never really struggled with weight. What one personal rule you have that you want your surroundings to follow? I hate physical touch as communication. Holding my hand, hugging me too tight, resting your head on my shoulder, suddenly grabbing my arm...unless it’s Gabie, and to an extent Kate (cos she’s naturally touchy) and Angela, I get freaked out inside. When you get muscle soreness, where does it hit you the worst? Shoulders and neck could get pretty bad. What do your parents call you? Anak or ‘Nak, which literally means ‘child’ in Filipino; Robyn, and Byn. When they refer to me in a conversation with my younger siblings, I’m called ‘Ate,’ or the term for elder sisters. Something you just can’t stand no matter what? When someone scrapes their utensils onto their plate way too hard and loud. What’s something that people do that you love? When everyone bands together to help someone when they’re in trouble. Of course this doesn’t happen all the time, but it’s so easy to make me cry just by making me watch videos of this happening. How old were you when you first got to go on the computer? I was 3. My dad had Need for Speed on the computer and I still remember how it came with the legit steering wheel and pedals. If you have a blog, facebook, myspace, etc, how long have you had it for? I think I’ve had this one since 2016. I have another survey blog I got locked out from because I forgot my password, and I had that since 2012 or 2013. If you have a blog or website, advertise here: I’m posting this on my blog itself lmao. What age would you want to get married/did you get married? 27-29. Any lovers at the moment? I have a girlfriend, sure. When was the last time you had a crush on someone? Right now, but more intensely this morning haha. Would you say you're an emotional person? More than average, definitely. Have a kid or want to? Want them. Describe your hair style right now? It’s in a ponytail but I’ve had it on since morning and I’ve been on the couch the whole day so it’s a super messy one right now. A habit a lot of people around you notice you doing is? I don’t know if there’s a habit everyone tends to do, but they all seem to curse, if that’s counts as a habit. Favorite artist? Like...in general? Probably Hozier, he’s one of the best and most genuine artists/songwriters out there. And Hayley Williams. What's a fashion trend you would rather die than follow? Don’t Blame The Kids merch. Got any internet friends you've never met in real life? Yeah, my old internet friends - they all lived either in the US or spread out in Europe so I really could not meet with them ever. Right now, the ones I’ve never met are Aliyah and Gabbie. Do you chat with a lot of people on the computer or only few? It used to be a lot since I was super active in the wrestling fandom before. Nowadays my circle is kept to my high school batchmates and college friends. Your favorite person you know in real life is...? My girlfrienddddddddd. Are you a forgiving person? No. It’s kinda the unofficial personal rule I have with people: I will always give away my trust to anyone from the very beginning and will be patient for a very long time, that to fuck up hard enough to reach the point of having to ask for forgiveness is already like overstaying in my circle or my life in general lmao. What's a color that suits you the best? Black and maroon. For some reason green does too, but I hate green. And a color you just can't pull off/don't want to? Orange, gray, yellow. Based on your running speed, what animal would you be? I’d probably be like a cow hahaha. Got any hobbies? Sure.

Can you read in public? Only if I manage to be alone and end up in a quiet and comfy area in public. The noisiest I can handle is probably a busy coffee shop because at least the noise there is a bit therapeutic. Describe yourself when you were 6 years old? I dunno, really...I was friends with a popular bunch and we even made a dumb 6 year old thing we called the Bratz Club (because they were huge at the time), but there was also huge bitch of a bully not from the group who also always targeted me. I was still a big crybaby, and I threw a huge tantrum one time someone mistakenly told on me when I didn’t do anything, that my mom had to step in lmao. I was still pretty quiet but like I had enough friends and I even spoke on our moving up ceremony, so I think I was doing quite well. Right brained or left brained? I already forgot my psych lessons from two semesters ago, hah. How much sleep do you get usually? 6-7 hours is the average. Do you know your blood type? I don’t. What’s hilarious (and sad) is that I don’t think my parents know either unless they check my birth cert LMAOOOOOO. Whenever I have to fill out forms that ask for it, I ask my mom and she deadass says, “O+ is the most common right? Just write that one down” bye sis if I need a donation and I die that’s on her kksksksksks What's your favorite astrologic sign? I don’t care for and hate all of them. What month do you with you were born and why? April. Presumably because I was conceived somewhere in mid-July 1997, I guess? Have any large dreams you're trying to achieve? Sure.

One thing you would like to change about yourself? My anxiety. One thing you like about yourself? Work ethic. A type of personality you just can’t stand? People who say too many innuendos or are too green-minded. Your personality in one word would be? Uhhhh that’s hard to capture. I guess ‘shy’ is the word. Your appearance in one word would be? Chill.

What’s a talent you'd love to have? Playing the piano. The best prank you've pulled? I hate pranks, whether I’m the pranker or prankee. If I gave you ten dollars right now, what would you do with it? Save it. I’m out of money from drinking in two upscale bars last night lol. What if it was a million dollars? Probs get myself a nice dinner. A person or a thing you truly love from your heart? Girlfriend. A wish you have? More money. Pokemon, Digimon, GI JOE, Barbies or other? Pokemon. City type of person or country? Definitely the city. As good as the food is and as clean as the air is in the province, I don’t think I’ll last. Plus I was never raised in the province so I would miss the city life too much.

Ever take polls on the net? Yeah sometimes I’d take the ones I’d come across just for funsies or because I’m genuinely interested about the results. Any word that you love? Poignant. I thought it meant something nice and ~elegant at first; had no clue it was supposed to mean something super bittersweet. What's something you're obsessed about right now? Mukbang ASMR videos. If you had a typing battle, do you think you'd win? I think I would hahaha. Several semesters of rapid note-taking in college will serve me well. Favorite type of candy? Peanut butter cups, if they count. How often do you clean your ears? Every other day. Brag about something! I got a 2.00 in a class I genuinely thought I’d fail in. 2 isn’t a great grade at all but that class was SO AWFUL that I was dying of anxiety just to get a 3 this whole time. My instructor released the grades last night while I was at a club and I bawled when I found out. Something you find unhealthy about yourself? I eat so unhealthily and have no healthy habits AT ALL other than constantly drinking water. I don’t wash my face, never watch what I eat, never exercised a day in my life, all that neglectful jazz. Words of wisdom? I’m not really in a thoughtful mood rn to spontaneously think of advice. Are usually the one talking or listening to others? Listening. I hate having to be in the spotlight longer. Your reaction if someone told you you look 10 years older than your age? Honestly I’d be really flattered because I’ve looked 10 years younger my whole life. To say that I look 10 years older will just balance it out to mean that I look my exact age hahahahahaha Any favorite numbers? I don’t have lucky numbers but whenever I have to pick ones, I always say 4 or 23. Any weak spots? ???? Like in bed? Lmao my neck but I hope I understood this correctly. Do you really badly want anything right now? Money. Savings. But also iced coffee :( How much money would you say you have saved up? I literally have no money in my wallet and I can take a photo right now to show that I have absolutely no bills left. I get really irresponsible with money when I get a little tipsy and I got three Long Island Iced Teas last night :/ the last glass I bought when I found out my grade in that pain-in-the-ass class I talked about earlier, so it was technically an impulse celebratory purchase. Anything from your past you just want to forget about? So many events, my friend. So many events. What does it take to earn respect from you? None. I give everyone respect and trust from the very beginning, because that’s what they deserve. But the thing is I can very much take it away when it’s disrespected or abused. Where were you born? Somewhere in stinky Manila. How many people do you live with? 4. How do you cheer yourself up? Depends. It’s a different formula each time. What's something that makes you really stressed out? Internship. Have any particular standard you look for in a significant other? No. I’m a demi, so I’ll end up being attracted to someone because of who they are. I used to have standards but they were so limiting, so I just got rid of those. Ever had a friend that was someone completely opposite to you? Gabie. Ez. We couldn’t be any more different. Are you any good at science? I’m good in biology in particular and I’m okay in physics, but I hate chemistry.  Highlight of the day? Waking up to Gab because she slept over last night. Do you go on any forums on the net? Does Reddit count? What do you think of your voice? It’s okay. It’s not super annoying for me. A smiley face you use a lot? Just the classic :) Do you use msn-lingo? Not since 2011 at the latest haha. Got any secrets you honestly can't say to anyone? This blog. Well except for my sister who stays as the only person I know who knows about this, but other than that I wanna keep this as a secret safe space forever. Best horror movie? Oh wow I haven’t seen anything new in a while. It’s still a four-way between Scream, Cabin in the Woods, The Shining, and Carrie. Believe in voo doo? No. Think anything lives forever eternally? Uh maybe jellyfish? Tacos or Burritos? Burrito. I never liked tacos. The most annoying question on these surveys? Maybe the ones that didn’t use apostrophes when the questions needed them. Whats something you do when you're dead bored? Watch videos. Ever made a survey? Nah. What do you think of people who speak their mind? Brave. But they should also be careful to not be too comfortable about being blunt that they wind up an asshole. How do you act to people around you crying? I stop what I’m doing and listen to them, if they want to talk. What's something you've tried really hard at? Passing that bitch of a class I’ve mentioned for the third time in this survey. How do you say good byes? I just say a ‘bye,’ but if it’s a harder goodbye then I usually avoid the situation, because I cry easily.