#so personally i have nothing to say about it except if i ever meet berens

[janiedean]

How are you Lavi? I was wondering, have you have shared your opinion about the end of Supernatural? I would especially love to hear your thoughts about Destiel and that love confession.

hey! I'm... extremely tired because a lot of stuff is going on that I will partially share on main about soon but has been sapping my energies a lot (i'm OOOLD) but it could be worse, thank you <3

also, wrt spn: I think I did say it in scattered posts but if you want the condensed version:

I had quit spn like early s12 at the hitler episode then I finished it after the ending because I figured I owed it to them after watching the finale live as it aired so... it was something but going in order

I actually greatly enjoyed s12-15 up to the end and I was pleasurably surprised - like okay it was the usual crazy shit half of the time and it def had gone on too long but 12-15 were eons better than the slug that was 9-11 and I had a lot of genuine fun when watching them and like they actually look/are extremely coherent for spn standards so I mostly have positive stuff on the topic like the apocalypse universe was cool, the ketch redemption arc was cool, tombstone and the tarantino episode were a masterpiece (and the 80s rock episode too sdlgkjd same as the scooby doo crossover) and I loved chuck as the villain and how meta that was

concerning deancas and the love confession: I mean as the resident idiot who had written her first deancas fic after 4x03 aired I always thought that they didn't know what they had been doing until like s5 when they realized what they were doing (sorry no one convinces that 5x03 wasn't written by someone who didn't have the deancas agenda in mind in spades) but like I generally thought that if it went somewhere it was gonna end with sam retiring and being a man of letters or smth like that and deancas going off to fight monsters in a way where you could frame it as THEY ARE BEST FRIENDS™ in places where them being gay would be frowned upon

I also thought that if anything happened whether like... either canonization or adjacent-canonization it was gonna be the last five minutes of the series finale because otherwise some parts of fandom wouldn't have let anyone involved with that show live which is why I was pleasurably shocked the confession was in ep 18 and not 20

now: I think the network authorized it and then chickened out when covid hit because the way the entire thing is structured... like sorry but this story starts with cas rescuing dean from hell, in 18 cas ends up in the empty from which he can obviously be rescued, in 19 every single plotline gets wrapped except that one in an episode that can work as a finale-finale if you leave it at that and I'm supposed to think that the og plan for ep 20 didn't include a reverse thing where dean got him out and they made out? sorry at this point bite me I'mma put my money on that esp given that...

... episode 20 is the most useless finale i've ever seen in the sense that literally nothing happens in it, the show itself had fillers where more shit happened like honestly I've never seen 40 minutes of a show that were more... a waste of time and resources and effort as that one, it looked like they told the writers they needed to have dean and sam be bros™ one of them had to die and they met in heaven again and they did that but just that X°D like sorry but the vampire porn diaries had the exact same finale template - one brother dies the other lives a happy normal life and they meet again in heaven -, s8 of tvd was vastly worsely written than spn s15 like i'm not even arguing that, but if you look at tvd finale actually shit happens in it and when you watch it it actually looks decent/wraps things up/makes you feel stuff, the spn finale is just stupid but I can't even be angry at it because imvho it's obvious they did it on purpose X°D but like tldr if the og plans hadn't been scrapped whatever they were they would have had an ep 20 where shit actually happened and that wasn't the drag it was, and like if it had come at the end of a badly written season (like tvd) I'd have just shrugged and whatever but... it came after an actually well-written season that was actually coherent with the previous four ones so I can't believe that was the real endgame content really XD

anyway: the confession was imvho absolutely ic and coherent with the entire thing starting from s4 because like sorry cas being in love with dean since then is just blatantly making sense, I never thought once it was baiting or teasing because only ppl who never watched the show would think the delivery was bad or that either misha or jensen were cringing while saying their lines, cas saying exactly the stuff he said made absolute sense in context, dean's reaction (as much as I'm sure they cut stuff) was absolutely sensed as well and no one tells me he didn't reciprocate bc the entire thing was built so that he'd admit it to himself at the very end and I mean anon my friend my comrade when I watched that episode I cried for twenty minutes straight after I finished it so X°D

like okay yeah part of it was the SEE WE WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG FUCK THE DENIERS but most of it was that I honestly was moved and I found that entire speech extremely heartfelt, meaningful and a whole lot of things I'm not sharing on main because I don't want people deciding stuff based on it but like I have zero negative things to say about that confession, I'm glad it happened and I don't regret catching up also because it happened as it really felt like the natural reaching point of cas's whole arc, I'm just sad that whatever the fuck went on with the cw they didn't let dean have a decent ending bc honestly what the fuck was that thing and they deserved to be happy without presuming they met offscreen in heaven or whatever the fuck but honestly all my issues with spn's ending are with the cw obviously getting cold feet concerning episode 20

tldr: the ending-ending sucked but up until 15x19 I thoroughly enjoyed most of what I saw nonsensical or not because at that point spn was the kinda thing you watched bc you liked it with all the faults it has, I 100% believe that the last episode sucked on purpose because I've never seen a finale done with so little effort after four seasons full of effort ever like not even penny dreadful whose finale imvho sucked on purpose sucked this much but like getting there was worth it and deancas being canon in itself was smth I never thought we'd get this explicitly and I'm very very very happy it happened, peace

[elizabethrobertajones]

Hello there. I have a question (more like a thesis): What would have happened if Cas told the Truth anywhere between season 7 and 15? Do you think it would have had the same impact on Dean? Logically speaking Cas could have told him anytime.

Oh gosh, yes. I mean Dean’s reaction in season 15 is still the best it could have been really :P He was in the best place and most accepting of himself and he still had a BSOD for a moment and then Cas had to shove him away so he could go die... (Assuming you take the on screen boring presentation of what happened as canon and not throw in the reciprocation, tears, pull in for a kiss, etc that we know exists either in our hearts or on Jackles’ phone.)

I’ve been thinking about this and the parameters we’d have to apply if we were gonna get something like the show being self-healing back to its self as we know it but we were allowed a confession. Also the show has to be as punishing as ever. So these are my personal theses on each season... 

Season 7 the confession would have to be after Cas comes back, and everything in 7x17 that looked like Dean was jealous of Daphne and Meg textually was meant to be read that way in the set up for the confession. To make it the most painful obviously we still get Cas exactly as he was all through to the end of the season and he never really says anything too different but then right when they’re having the “cursed or not” discussion he’d bust out of nowhere that he supposes it is inevitable Dean would talk him into going on this dangerous mission to get Dick because obviously Cas loves him. And Dean, who is in a weirdly zen sort of place in the remaining minutes of season 7 after Bobby’s send off and final words that helped him go make up with Cas, is in a similarly season 15 oddly okay spot, mental health wise. At least. COMPARED TO ALL THE REST OF SEASON 7. But I still personally have always read it as a genuinely good place for him that could have endured much longer if not for *gestures everything that happened after stabbing Dick* and obviously making up with Cas was step one and a huge part of his process. 

(idk if you’ve noticed but 7x23 pretty much has no Sam and Dean interaction after Bobby’s send off, and their last good broments are really scarce; it feels sort of natural for abrupt calamity and no time for teary farewells in a season with a strong commentary on grief, which also hyperfocuses the attention on Dean n Cas there.)

So I think Dean would maybe be stunned but maybe quirk a sceptical smile like “He can’t mean it like that and anyway he’s currently coo-coo, this doesn’t mean anything hahaha oh Cas :)))” and then idk shake his head and move the story on and Cas just turns one longing look after him like “dammit that didn’t work out like planned” 

Anyway then the exact plot beats of 7x23 follow, exactly as seen on your screens, but we’re left going into season 8 and Carver era with Dean far far more messed up about Cas and it can force clarification in 8x02 in Purgatory where Cas is entirely adamant he meant what he meant and furious at Dean for being mad at him and Dean’s mad at Cas for all the season 8 reasons so they continue angsting at each other but Benny’s reaction shots are just 10x funnier. This is followed by Dean’s reciprocation of “I love you” instead of “I need you” in the crypt scene in 8x17 and from there honestly it’s been built up into canon in such a way that the emotional arc of the show has to go off the wheels and I can’t keep to the self-healing model to continue following the “real” plot and contain this much raw power.

Coincidentally, if the first confession is in season 8, it would be “what broke the connection” after a season 8 where nothing was different up until that point. Cas flaps off while Dean is still processing that the answer was “You. I love you.” and Dean is left yelling at the empty crypt like “What the hell, Cas?!” 

Then he’s as mad at him as he was in canon except instead of being borderline a really bad overreaction into his anger phase which we have to weather as miserable fans tethered to this ship who know sometimes Dean gets mad and yells at Cas for no reason, he’s reacting proportionately. It’s always seemed like 8x22 only makes sense if Dean is furious at Cas for confessing and fleeing except, obviously, in our “”real”” canon, it can only be like Cas confessed and Dean took it that way and also felt embarrassed how far he went with his own feelings only for Cas to run. 

This would make the bar scene with the cupids in 8x23 make a lot more sense too, and after they get the cupid bow Dean’s going to turn to Cas and give him a nervous smile, and then - Naomi flaps in like she does and distracts them away from reciprocation. 

I think this one could go long - maybe even season 13 Cas being dead and Dean being like “FUCK I never got a chance to work things out with him” and 13x06 onwards is where we get any actual work on the ship, because Carver era was so determined to be emotionally gruelling and unsatisfying and relentless from one issue to the next. And the confessions are so bound up specifically in the moments of miscommunication or failed attempts, cut off conversations etc that whether Destiel is canon or not, they’re never gonna get to talk it out under those conditions. Cas is only explicitly the grieving wife and jealous ex to Crowley’s smug take over of Dean’s affections rather than subtextually. 

The season 9 confession... I feel like we’d come perilously close to the Monkey Paw curse we once envisioned of Buckleming making it canon because they love jumping the gun on plot points and making them too obvious. So the end of 9x03, Cas is really blatantly angling to come in with a big “Hey I’m human can I live in the Bunker look at me I learned to do The Sex can we do it now” kind of vibe. All the enthusiasm he was giving to eating that burrito in the background while “Zeke” was trying to get him kicked out, but with lusting over Dean :P 

If we avoid that we can leap to Mr Bobo Berens and his first episode, and have this thing handled by a pro, as it’s already very much about Cas as a homeless queer man with a bad ex he still loves rolling into town where he’s just trying to make a new life and play straight - I mean human - for his own survival. I suspect the confrontation with Iphraim would make it really obvious that Cas didn’t just want to live as a human but had an eye for living as a human with Dean, and then he’d attempt a confession right before Dean would accidentally talk over, like, the L in “love” honestly, to tell him that sorry things do still stand that you can’t come back with me. Leaves Cas utterly devastated but Dean is none the wiser and he drives off and Cas pines piningly at the pine trees in his Gas n Sip. 

Again the end of season probably would force the real confession, since there’s a ready made moment in 9x22 where Hannah tries to force Cas to kill Dean and he gives it all up for one man. Cas can just lower that knife and be like, “No, I love him,” talking to his shoes and Hannah rather than meeting Dean’s eyes. Mark of Cain Dean is fuuuucked up at that point but we still get the moment where Dean carries Cas’s bag into the bunker and sits down with him and tries to care about his health and now also this confession. Sussing out what the heck is up with Cas, and maybe he looks like he’s playing it cool and is still so messed up but Cas is vulnerable, and finally Dean starts to reach across the library table for his hand, and it’s a moment where maybe things could have started to go better for them...... Cue Gadreel walking into the library, Dean going feral, blah blah demon!Dean, blah blah explicitly stated Drowley, blah blah muuuch healing and Cas giving Dean a wide berth for a lil while. Though, in this scenario, 10x22 is far worse but has the reverse crypt scene moment, so Dean can be more obviously unable to kill Cas because he loves him, and then he walks out, followed by season 11 and Cas being returned to them. Unfortunately. Yep. Another finger curls on the Monkey Paw... 11x03 by Buckleming would absolutely be where Destiel goes undeniably canon as it is their first real interactions post Mark of Cain. Our only consolation - directed by Jensen Ackles.

Season 10 confession, hm. Poor Cas. He has the option of 10x03, of confessing and then immediately apologising and walking off to handle stuff with Hannah (thanks Buckleming!) or the Burger Date, where Dean may be slightly less stunned stupid but still likely to laugh it off and not believe it. There’s not much heavy tension between them most of the season so it’s possible that the only time Cas would really get is to confess in 10x22 while telling Dean that he would have to watch him murder the world, and that would suck because I love you. At which point the story dictates that Dean beats Cas to paste so it’s a very bad look. Season 10 destiel confession is the worst. 

Season 11 may be better because Cas has options to be jealous of Crowley and Dean’s connection to Amara multiple times and then Casifer happens and that can really play up things in a season where a confession is coming. 

I think the Beer Run in 11x23 might be the only viable place, where Dean grabs Cas and takes him out for that drive for last drinks before the end of the world. Cas gets the “you’re our brother” thing and just lays into Dean with the certainty of someone who knows this is it - now or nothing - with “You know that’s crap, Dean. You wait until the end of the world and you can’t even say it. Well I can; I love you.” 

Cue awkward tension, well-placed interrupting Moose, and then the world very much not ending so that when Dean n Cas hug and kiss in front of Mary in 12x01. Well. There’s even more explaining to do to her. Since we’ve made it to Dabb era, I believe any confessions from this point onwards can just slot into the show as we got it from there since it’s entirely compatible to start season 12 assuming Dean n Cas are literally married and never be contradicted by the text in their behaviour. But since we’ve had canon Destiel since whenever, obviously the final episodes are good instead of. That.

Season 12... Going to have to go with the first sniff of true canon coming in Lily Sunder with just a few lines leaning even further in the Cas’s Angel Family Are Homophobic Assholes metaphor, leaving Cas’s relationship with Dean even more live wire exposed. Followed by The Mixtape Scene where Cas is going to confess to Dean and get him startled up out of his seat, accidentally knocking the mixtape to the floor and for a moment it’s like, did he throw it is he mad? but then he’s smooching Cas, fade to black, return to scheduled programming but the whole line about Cas stealing the Colt from under Dean’s pillow makes fuckin sense, as well as the fall out argument and how mad Dean was at Cas followed by how devastated he was at Cas’s death. This just means Dabb era continues as planned except we get a kiss in 13x06 under that big glowy cross, and some more smooching here and there when things are good from then on. 

Season 13... Hm. Cas has to do the confessing and I don’t think he’d throw that at Dean on return from death so unlike if Dean was the one who was being made to confess obviously the aforementioned glowy cross scene obviously would be it for him... Cas could keep that bottled up much longer, especially as he has so much to do with Jack this season. It’s entirely possible we go through the whole season and then Cas lobs it at Dean as a final card when he’s making his Michael decision and we actually see the scene that we didn’t get, where Cas has to watch Dean getting possessed. Except Dean is like, tearful and furious like why would you tell me that now, and anyway i’m doing this for you as well dumbass but fuck you but also how dare you anyway I need to be an archangel now and save our - your - son, bye. Cue Cas sitting there not just in total horror at what happened but also kicking himself for fucking up the moment :P I guess this way at least we can have that moment where Dean is un-Michaeled and tells Cas he’s going to shower and finger guns at him, and now we can have Cas wordlessly and furiously follow him. 

Season 14, we get Cas at Rocky’s bar confessing to Dean while figment!Pamela cheers the whole thing on. If there was EVER a time to use the power of love to snap Dean out of it, Cas upsetting his cosy routine with “this isn’t real, I’M NOT HERE IN YOUR FANTASY” is absolutely the time to pull a reverse crypt scene which has such low stakes in terms of neither of them needing to punch each other when Michael is an external aggressor.

My ONLY issue with this is that Sam has to witness the whole thing and we would get reaction shots and I am a weak mortal who will start cackling at them when I’m supposed to be having the transcendent moment of canon and the whole thing would be ruined just because of the way Jared gurns when doing reactions to dean n cas interacting. Wow thanks. Thanks a lot. 

[omgkatsudonplease]

[ficlet, bagginshield] feeling exceptional (bridgerton au)

The Great Smials Assembly is in Tuckborough, which means for Bilbo that it’s little more than a glorified family reunion. All of his various aunts and uncles push and pull at him when he arrives, wishing him good luck in his courtship with the King of Erebor. Gandalf, staying at the Great Smials on an invitation from Thain Fortinbras II, looks especially insufferable every time someone hopes to be invited to the Royal wedding. 

“He hasn’t proposed yet,” Bilbo grumbles whenever it does.

“But surely he’s on the very verge of it!” gasps Aunt Donnamira, clutching at her chest. “Gandalf says he’s never seen two creatures on Eru’s green Arda look at each other with such devotion. If he doesn’t marry you, he’s a fool!”

Well, then, we are both fools, Bilbo does not say. King Thorin is a fool for letting such a fanciful Hobbit pretend to be his, and he is a fool for squandering this opportunity not to look for his true love.

Still, something strange burns at him, deep inside. He’s felt it all this while, over all of these weeks of lies and pretences slowly becoming wishes and truths. Thorin is nothing like the brusque Dwarf-king he had first met at the Party Field Dance, nothing like the cold statue barely making conversation with him at Gandalf’s surprise dinner. Bilbo has seen through the outermost layers of him —rather literally at one point, during the Brandywine River Promenade — and he has to admit, he likes what he sees.

And liking what he sees is the last thing he needs, because they had agreed to avoid just that. They had agreed not to fall in love. 

“Bilbo!” He is jerked out of his thoughts by a familiar cheerful voice. His cousin Primula comes barreling at him with ungraceful fervour, pulling up short just as he braces himself for impact. He finds himself curtsied to first before being squished into one of her overenthusiastic hugs. Clearly the etiquette lessons were not taking root with her at all. “Bilbo, Bilbo, you’re here! And I’m here! I had to go to Fornost earlier in the month so I missed the Promenade but I’m here! And I got permission to attend this ball! And Mama is going to lower my hems soon so I can debut in a year or two!”

“Prim! Calm down!” exclaims Bilbo. The young Hobbit-lass bounces in reply, the ribbons in her hair shining with each toss of her thick, dark curls. “What was that about a trip to Fornost?” 

“Mama and Papa took us to Fornost for the spas,” says Primula happily, holding him out at arm’s length to examine him more closely. “Now I’ve missed all the excitement. I heard you’re going to be a Dwarf Consort!”

“I’m not going to be a Dwarf Consort,” scoffs Bilbo, before quickly catching himself and tacking on a hasty, “yet. He hasn’t asked me to marry him.”

“Oh, but I hope he does,” gushes Primula. “It would be so romantic!”

“You’re taking cues from Auntie Donnamira, I see,” says Bilbo, spinning her around in circles. “Are you sure you can behave yourself tonight?”

“It’s just dancing,” scoffs Primula. “I promise not to tread on Cousin Sigismond’s feet again. I promise.”

Bilbo snorts. “All right, Prim. And what’s this about your mother letting you debut soon? Aren’t you still in your tweens?”

“Yeah, but all of my sisters are gone and married,” replies Primula, pouting. “And if I enter society, I get to go to all the parties with you! It’s been no fun being cooped up in Brandy Hall being told to go to bed just before the party guests arrive, you know.”

Bilbo remembers a ball at Brandy Hall during one of his earlier seasons, catching Primula in her nightgown by the doorway into the ballroom. He’d taken her out into the gardens and told her stories until she got drowsy. She’s grown up faster than his beansprouts since then, her childhood roundness briefly interrupted by tweenhood gangliness. And now here she is in a lengthened evening-gown, her eyes bright and ribbons woven into her cloud of dark hair. 

Bilbo feels immeasurably old beside her. With any luck, she’ll be declared the rose of the season the year she is presented to the Queen of Arnor, and, just like her sisters, she’ll be swept off her feet by some strapping Hobbit-lad and sent off to her happily ever after. 

And Bilbo will remain here, forever picky, forever searching. Possibly even lamenting the events of this year, and what could have been.

The refreshments are laid out, the band is arrayed to the side, and the first couples begin to form a line for the first dance of the night. Bilbo looks at Primula fiddling excitedly with her dance card, and gestures to it with a grin.

“Do you mind so terribly if your favourite cousin had your first dance?” he asks.

“Bold of you to assume you’re my favourite cousin,” replies Primula, but she’s smiling nonetheless, extending her wrist out to him. He signs for the first dance, before taking her out to join the other dancers lining up on the floor. 

The first dance is a reel in which the leading couple weaves their way through groups of three couples at a time. This means that Bilbo and Primula have a great deal of time standing still, waiting for their turn, and so Primula breaks the silence again with a devious grin. 

“I heard Mr Gladden has finally left town,” she says. “Something about his grandmother’s failing health. He’s gone back to the Greenwood.”

Bilbo exhales. “Good for him,” he says. “I feel terrible for saying that, but I don’t think I will miss him one bit.”

“I’ve never met him, but lots of people said it was about time,” agrees Primula. “He must have been quite the stinker.”

“I would be the last person in Arda to judge someone for being odd,” muses Bilbo, “but besides being odd he was rude. No sense of boundaries.”

“If only other people would get the hint.” Primula tosses her head towards Miss Bracegirdle, who had just joined the line with Otho Sackville-Baggins. Bilbo scoffs.

“For someone who isn’t in society yet, you certainly know a lot about the people hounding me,” he remarks. 

“Just because I’m not in society doesn’t mean I can’t read Lord Stormcrow,” replies Primula with a sly grin. “He’s had a lot to say about you two. Because of him, there’s now a betting pool between the Master, the Thain, and the Mayor for when King Thorin will propose!”

Bilbo feels like he’s been doused in cold water. “What a bunch of nosy busybodies,” he declares, just as the lead couple gets to them and they start to link arms and circle with them. 

“Well, of all the Dwarves of Arda, I suppose a Dwarf-king isn’t a bad choice for the head of the Baggins family,” muses Primula once they meet up again and the lead couple has moved on down the line. “I never liked the Bracegirdle option, if you cared to know my thoughts on it. I mean, it is the respectable choice, but she’s clearly more interested in being Mistress of Bag End than your wife.”

Bilbo chuckles. “Whatever happened to little Prim?” he wonders. “The one who crashed the Brandybuck Ball in her nightgown and listened to my stories of butterflies and dumbledoors in the garden until she fell asleep?”

“Well, it’s because of your stories that I know you wouldn’t marry someone unless they made you perfectly and incandescently happy,” Primula points out. 

“You make me perfectly and incandescently happy, too, and I have no plans to marry you,” Bilbo replies.

“That’s because you’re ancient Cousin Bilbo,” says Primula matter-of-factly, “and all I want for ancient Cousin Bilbo is someone who will make him smile his happy smile, not his brave one.” 

Bilbo wants to chalk everything she’s saying up to simple tweenhood twitterpated nonsense, but the words fly out of his head the moment he catches a glimpse of familiar blue. The music hushes into an awed murmur, as dancers and other guests alike stop and turn to see Thorin’s arrival at the Assembly. Bilbo dimly feels Primula dropping his hands as she turns to see the Dwarf-king, her small gasp of delight echoing deep in his heart. 

The first time Bilbo had read the Lay of Leithian, he had been struck by the verses depicting the meeting of Beren Erchamion and Lúthien Tinúviel. Deep within the woods of Doriath, the fateful meeting of those two had been a dance, a chase, a cry, a capitulation. As Bilbo read, he had wondered, dimly, if one day he would ever experience a captivation so thorough as what Beren had felt when he first watched Lúthien dancing in the forest grove.

Now, as he sees Thorin enter in his dark-blue tailcoat and white cravat, with the beads of the line of Durin shining starlike in his hair, Bilbo understands. 

The reel quickly finishes after that, allowing Bilbo to turn to Primula. “I could make an introduction,” he offers.

Primula opens her mouth to accept, before catching sight of someone else in the crowd. “Oh, your cousin Drogo wants to see me,” she says, winking mischievously at him. “Some other time? Maybe when you two have come to an understanding?” 

And with that, she scampers off into the crowd, leaving Bilbo alone in confronting the Dwarf-king he’s not actually supposed to be courting. Clearing his throat and taking a deep breath, Bilbo steps forward and pushes through the crowd of girls clamouring for Thorin to sign their dance cards. 

“There you are.” Thorin’s wintry expression thaws the moment he sees Bilbo. “Have you come to rescue me?” 

“Am I your excuse not to dance?” wonders Bilbo drily as he reaches Thorin’s side, forcibly squashing down the fluttering in his stomach. “I thought the goal of this was to improve your manners, not give you an out.”

“No, it was to improve my image,” replies Thorin, “and as you can see  —” He gestures to the gaggle of Hobbit-lasses arguing with one another nearby, “it worked.”

Bilbo huffs in amusement. “Apparently it worked too well. There are wagers set up about when you’ll propose.” 

Thorin raises an eyebrow at that, but does not say anything one way or the other. “Which two dances shall we have tonight?” he asks. 

Every dance, Bilbo wants to say, but even a third dance might as well be a proposal in and of itself as far as the Shire is concerned. Instead, when the next Hobbit-lass comes up to the two of them for a dance, he merely checks her card and politely declines a spot, before turning to watch Thorin do the same. 

“The Petty-skirt,” he suggests, “and the Springle-ring.” 

Thorin’s eyes crinkle amusedly at him. “Promise you will not run from the Springle-ring?” he teases.

Bilbo chuckles. “I would never,” he replies, just as the music for the first figure of the Petty-skirt begins to play. “Come on,” he says, offering his hand to Thorin. “Let’s dance.”

And for the rest of that night, he takes no other partner. Lord Stormcrow will note upon it, of course, crowing in his next pamphlet that surely an understanding is on the horizon for the two of them. 

In the meantime, Bilbo dances the night away in Thorin’s arms, and his mind is full of nothing but nightingales and the exquisite pain of being perfectly, incandescently happy. 

[arofili]

For the character ask: all the children of Finarfin

How I feel about this character:

Finrod: charming slutty blond twink with a heart of gold. maybe that’s too much fanon and not enough canon but you can tear that characterization from my cold dead hands tbh. like yes this is King “I Killed A Werewolf With Nothing But My Teeth And The Power Of Love” but he’s also Prince “I Rap Battled With Sauron And Lost” and Lord “I Befriended Men and Dwarves Before It Was Cool”

Angrod: of all his siblings i think he’s the most… Angry Boy. he has a temper, but he’s also married with a kid (I subscribe to the Orodreth Angrodion version of canon). i think he’s the ‘oh my god why can’t any of you be NORMAL’ brother. BOTH his mother name and his father name are derived from the word for ‘iron’ - he’s got an iron personality, very strong-willed and stubborn. i also hc that he’s the only arafinwean who has Earwen’s silver hair.

Aegnor: a hopeless romantic. the dreamiest arafinwion (and that’s including artanis!). very particular about his hair (which is a WILD canon detail that i love sjdfhdk) but also has terrible fashion. his head’s always in the clouds, he’s a daydreamer, but he’s also incredibly loyal and a really good friend. he almost always listens to his heart over his head - and the fact that he and andreth never marry is the One Time he listened to logic over emotion, and that haunts him forever.

Galadriel: almost as much of a genius as Feanor and almost as humble about it, which is to say, not at all. she’s proud and stubborn and full of herself, especially in her youth - she’s also gorgeous and smart and right a lot of the time, which doesn’t help her ego. by the time she’s become Lady of Lothlorien she’s been through a lot and is much more humble and wise, but i think that comes not just from her experiences but also from being married to Celeborn the Wise. i think he balances her out very well tbh. (my favorite Galadriel characterization EVER is from this fic by @nerdanelparmandil, check it out!!)

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Finrod: I ship Finrod with anything that moves tbh….. I see him as super super gay, he and Amarie were mutual beards which is why she didn’t follow him to Endore. i am a Known Slut for Finrod/Turgon in particular, they’re kind of endgame for me, but also @raisingcain-onceagain​ has converted me to Finrod/Edrahil!! And while the Nargothrond Disaster Trio are in no way shape or form HEALTHY, i really really enjoy Celegorm/Curufin/Finrod content, that dynamic is delicious. i can also get down on Maedhros/Fingon/Finrod, though not really in a serious way. PLUS Finrod/Beor is very good, as is Finrod/Barahir and Finrod/Beren(/Luthien if we’re feeling spicy), and you KNOW he got busy with some dwarves! I just think he’s very free with his feelings and desires, especially after coming to Beleriand, and he takes full advantage of his freedom and position of authority to get what he wants. (not necessarily in a weird power dynamics way, though he’s into that kind of kinky shit too probably, i mean more in ‘it’s my kingdom i get to make the rules and i say No Homophobia and No Slutshaming’) - and I’m super happy to multiship with Finrod, there are verses where he’s fucking everyone and verses where he’s pining over Turgon and verses where he never even thinks about anyone other than Edrahil and etc etc etc. there’s probably even verses where he and Sauron get up to some funky shit!

Angrod: I don’t have a lot of headcanons about him and Eldalote. She has a Sindarin name, so maybe she came with him to Middle-earth - or maybe not, and he just missed her so much that he wouldn’t shut up about her and so her name was Sindarized to Edhellos. Either way I think they had a very strong relationship that ended in tragedy one way or another. I’ve also seen some fun Angrod/Caranthir enemies-to-lovers stuff, which I can get into, but I think Caranthir is aro so it’s not really my main hc.

Aegnor: i mean how can you NOT ship him and Andreth??? that relationship is just….so tragic and heartbreaking and beautiful. I like the theory that Gil-galad was their child, and he was given to Orodreth to raise because Andreth couldn’t care for an elfling and Aegnor couldn’t publicly claim a son out of wedlock. But also verses where they are just tragically pining after one another are beautiful in their own way. My headcanon is that the thing keeping them apart was less about the war going on and more about Aegnor fearing to lose her - but then he actually dies before her, and Andreth has to live with that pain. (idk if that works out timeline wise but. yeah)

Galadriel: Meladriel is very good and I enjoy that - I’ve also seen some great Galadriel/Luthien and even a Galadriel/Feanor fic I enjoyed. BUT overall i really love that she chose to marry Celeborn, a wise “dark elf” even when she’s completely out of his league - he balances her very well, and I don’t buy depictions of her walking all over him. she cares about him and he’s really good for her!

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Finrod: I ship Finrod/Turgon but also WHAT a great friendship they have!! I love that they go adventuring together :) And Finrod, Maedhros, and Fingon are so fun to imagine growing up together! Plus there’s his relationship with his nephew Orodreth, who he clearly adores, and also the fact that he’s still buddies with the Feanorians even after the first kinslaying (at Alqualonde! his home! where his mom is from!) and he’s so excited to meet new people from the Sindar to the Edain to the Dwarves. Finrod’s just EVERYONE’S friend and i appreciate that!!

Angrod: ….what if he and Caranthir used to be really close, like they are similar ages and grew up together, but then Something Happened and they started hating each other later on. that would be Very fun. also, he and Aegnor were lords together over the same land and died together, which implies they were very close - close like Celegorm and Curufin!

Aegnor: Again, he and Angrod were Best Bros which is great. I also think he’s probably beloved by Andreth’s people, he’s just this huge elf man they all kind of adopted and he’s so honored that they love him so much!

Galadriel: Melian!! obviously!! she stayed in Doriath specifically to learn from her, which is super neat. and then Gandalf in the later ages, i love whatever they have going on in the movies especially. i also think she and Celebrimbor had a weird rival-friendship i the second age, they’re both geniuses but from opposite sides of the family feud…except the family feud has killed pretty much everyone BUT them, so they come together to mourn that.

My unpopular opinion about this character

(this turned into more of ‘what are their negative personality traits’ than ‘unpopular opinions’ but whatever…)

Finrod: i’m sure he did his best but….when he was king of nargothrond he was still gallivanting all over the place. orodreth was probably More In Charge from before he was officially king…

Angrod: he’s a grade-A asshole. just a dick. mean as shit and holds grudges forever. really annoying to be around.

Aegnor: a dumbass. always listens to his heart and gets in trouble for it, until the one time he listens to his head and regrets it forever.

Galadriel: would make an EXCELLENT villain. ‘all shall love me and despair’ ? come on yall. if it had been HER versus sauron instead of Finrod (and…considering she was probably friends with Luthien, it very well could have been) i think she may have won, and im just imagining Sauron working for her, and the second and third ages going very differently with her being a Queen who everyone loves until they look back and realize she’s been corrupted and turned evil.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

so i think canon did mostly a good job with them SO some of these are some AUs!!!

Finrod: …if he had managed to convince Celegorm and Curufin to help with the Silmaril quest–the war could have ended before the Nirnaeth, maybe. or at least gone very differently.

Angrod: im gonna physically fight tolkien over giving us practically NOTHING on the wives of various characters - tell me more about Eldalote you coward!!!!

Aegnor: JUST MARRY ANDRETH PLEASE. i’m a slut for interspecies relationships and the fact that this one is male elf/female human is SO good and frankly unprecedented in Tolkien’s works. PLEASE i need more!!!

Galadriel: FUCK that evil!Artanis AU would be REALLY cool and sexy, wouldn’t it?

[tippitv]

Supernatural Recap: 14.03 “The Scar”

THEN!

Jack is really having a hard time since Lucifer stole his grace, essentially rendering him a very handsome but otherwise normal young human. Michael (in Dean) has been going around burning the eyes out of people as some kind of "experiment." Then somehow Dean ends up getting rid of Michael and the cap he was wearing. What??? I'm now realizing I've somehow skipped that episode. Oh well! Pressing on in ignorance!

NOW!

Dean returns to the bunker, riddled with anxiety. "Every time I think about it, it's like a nightmare," he says as Sam trails him. "I can't eat, I can't sleep... it's always just there watching!"

Is he talking about his recent ordeal of being possessed by an archangel? The very one he fought so hard against many a season ago? Of course not! He's talking about Sam's fluffy new beard! And he's still wearing his Michael clothes, so at most it's been a couple of hours and it makes no sense even by Wisecracking Dean standards to talk like it's been days.

Sam is worried. "You didn't talk a lot on the whole ride here," he says. He was coming up with complaints about your beard. Dean tries to play it off, saying he doesn't remember anything from his time possessed by Michael. "I'm just really happy to be home, he says," then sees the Bunker Bunch.

For some reason he's really puzzled by their presence. Or maybe he's surprised by how they seem to have settled in. Also, why didn't they go in through the front door? They must have come in through some back door. The rarely-seen garage entrance? I need to stop asking all these questions or I'll never finish. I'm only one-and-a-half minutes into this.

Only this ONE GUY notices that the person they've been looking for for WEEKS is now suddenly in their midst. Give him an award!

"Not Michael anymore," Dean says when he sees the guy looking wary. "Yeah, Chief told us," the guy says. THEN WHY WERE YOU TAKEN ABACK? No award for you.

Jack walks into the room and notices him right away. Give him that guy's trophy! His little face lights up. Then Castiel walks into the room and sees him and the orchestral strings swell with emotion. They say each other's names while staring holes into my TV screen.

Like... look. I'm actually pretty Destiel-neutral. I don't care a lot one way or the other if they get together, but I'm not immune to noticing when people try to burn each other's underpants off using nothing but their eyes.

Then Jack changes the subject before anyone can start fucking right there on the nearest table. "Where's Mary?" he asks. Sam awkwardly explains she and Bobby stayed back in Duluth to clean up what Michael did. Dean excuses himself to go take a shower.

Jack reveals that Nick is gone. Castiel explains further, but whatever. I'm just glad he's gone. Sam is understandably a little freaked out, but Cas is more concerned about whatever's going on with Dean. "Why would Michael just give up his vessel like that?" he wonders. Sam shakes his head.

Dean, alone in his bedroom, starts to undress, revealing a big new scar on his upper arm. It looks like a hipster mustache.

Cue the title card that will always remind me of the Target sign!

Dean brings his upper arm to the Winchester inner circle. Everyone wonders what could have hurt Michael like that. He wants Cas to probe the hot, moist depths of his memory to find out why he has a hipster mustache on his arm.

Flashes of images reveal some cloaked figure stabbing Michael-in-Dean with a spear tipped with a giant crab fork. Ah yes, it's Bad Kaia from the Unseen Dinosaur Universe who killed Original Flavor Kaia. I mean, we know her because we saw her face in the Wayward ep, but the Winchesters don't.

Meanwhile in South Dakota, Jody Mills gets a text from Claire updating her with what's been going on.

A moment later, she gets a call from the Winchesters to let her know Dean is back. Also to tell her that whoever killed Kaia came through the episiotomy in spacetime and might be in her neighborhood.

They describe Dean's mustache scar to her and it turns out she's been finding headless corpses with the same marks. She didn't think that was weird enough to call anyone back at the bunker? I mean, even if she thought they were human, it seems like a weird possibly culty thing. Jack wants to go with them to see Jody, but Dean puts the kibosh on that. Jack turns away, dejected and alone.

Suddenly, a subplot enters the bunker.

Someone named Jules brings in a teenage girl who's the victim of some kind of witchcraft. "Looks like an aging spell," Cas remarks because she has one wrinkled hand. Oh and there were apparently other victims but they didn't survive. He tries to heal her, but fails. "This might take a while," he says.

Dean wants to just scowl and drive fast, but Sam wants to talk. "We still have no idea why Michael let you go," he says. Maybe he's just seen the show's IMDB page and knows things have to sort of be back to "normal" so that the season can have its Fun Time 5th (sometimes 4th) episode!

They do the usual thing of Dean not wanting to talk about his feelings and Sam wanting him to talk about his feelings. A jangly guitar in the soundtrack plucks out a few mournful notes of Stoic Masculinity while we watch the muscles in Dean's jawline.

The Winchesters meet up with Jody in the middle of the woods. She catches them up with what's going on with the Wayward cast off-screen and pets Sam's beard like it's a playful kitten.

Jack packs up a bag, ready to leave the bunker behind, and places a note upon his bed. He's only a year old, so I'm kind of impressed he can write so legibly.

On his way out, he hears people in the infirmary and goes to check. It's Castiel and Jules with the winkly-handed teenager. "She's been enchanted," Cas explains. "Like Sleeping Beauty," Jack says, somewhat awed. But the witch's magic can't be healed because of Reasons, so Cas is looking up a spell Rowena recommended. Is she still off with Charlie on a road trip in the Southwest?

Cas notices Jack's backpack. "Are you going somewhere?" he asks. "Um... no," Jack replies. Cas makes a memeable face.

The Winchesters and Jody explore the lush coastal rain forest of South Dakota. It takes them all of five seconds to find one of those heads from the headless bodies. For some reason, it looks eerily like Mark Hamill circa Empire Strikes Back.

Oh there are three heads, arranged on pikes around the smoldering remnants of a campfire. Dean pokes around and finds vampire fangs on all of them, but Jody had Alex test the bodies and they didn't react to any of the normal vampire triggers.

While Dean examines the campfire, Alternate Kaia attacks him and the others with her crab fork spear. For some reason, she doesn't kill them but her hood falls back and they see her face for the first time.

Alternate Kaia makes an escape while everyone is too busy wondering how there can be another Kaia, even though duplicate characters are pretty common by now. They're all pretty sure she killed the OG version, though.

Back the bunker, Wrinkly Teen still has just the one hand that seems to be affected. She wakes up when Jack touches her hand. She looks over at Cas. "Is that your dad?" she asks. "One of them," Jack says. Do you think she assumes there's a two dads married to each other situation, or that there's a bio dad and adopted dad situation? The girl reveals her purpose as the subplot.

Parallellogirl says a witch took in her and two other girls, and even gave her a fancy pendant. Oh her wrinkles are spreading up her chest now. I feel like someone would have taken a look at that necklace and realized right away it's involved. She says the other girls withered and died the same as she's doing now.

In Sioux Falls, Sam somehow realizes that Michael sent the vampires after Alternate Kaia.  Oh I see... the same thing happened with werewolves in the previous episode and I missed it. Michael is making monsters with special immunities to their usual weaknesses. Werewolves are impervious to silver, vampires aren't affected by dead man's blood. Who knows what other monsters Michael has enhanced?

Back at the bunker, Cas and Jules try the reversing spell, but all they get is a burst of cool purple smoke. The subplot girl's wrinkles spread. She chokes for air. "Help," she gasps. Jack watches in horror and thinks about how useless he is.

Dean tromps ahead through the forest while Jody and Sam bring up the rear. Sam notices that Jody seems to be avoiding Claire's calls. She doesn't want to upset her with news of Kaia's killer. Off Sam's puzzled look, Jody explains, "First love strikes quick... and to lose it like that?" So, Kaia was a woman of color AND possibly a wlw. And imo, no, having an alternate version of her doesn't undo the Bury Your Gays trope although I do appreciate Berens at least trying to make things canon in this episode.

Dean catches up to Alternate Kaia outside a rustic cabin that looks like every rustic cabin, and punches her in the face to knock her out. His face makes this kind of scary, numb expression

When Alternate Kaia wakes up, they've got her tied up in the cabin. They talk about OG Kaia. "What I was to her, and what she was to me, you could never understand," Alternate Kaia says. She was trying to kill Claire when she killed Kaia instead. She says Michael has been sending monsters after her ever since she got here. Cut to three new monsters sniffing around her old campsite. Except for their teeth, they just look like they're trying to find the nearest Field & Stream store.

Oh the girl at the bunker is dead. Castiel covers her with a sheet. Jack's eyes well up with tears.

Suddenly, a thought occurs to Jack and he pulls back the sheet. "The witch... Where's her body?" he asks.

Back in South Dakota, the gang is trying to figure out what to do with Alternate Kaia. "We should bring her to the station," Jody says. "No, we need to break her right here and now," Dean argues. Sam is kind of horrified and confused. Alternate Kaia explains.

Dean wants her spear because it's the only thing that can hurt Michael as far as they know, and he's "willing to do whatever it takes."

Then he literally plants his boot between her tied, spread legs and kicks her chair several feet across the floor.

Look, I'm not opposed to characters doing ugly things when it makes sense but this is uglier than they probably intended.

Oh okay so the witch's body is in the (heretofore unseen??) bunker morgue. How did they not notice that she's wearing the exact same pendant as Subplot Girl?

Back to Dean as grabs Alternate Kaia by the front of her shirt and gets in her face. "Where is the spear?" he demands. Maybe it'd be less awful if he hadn't also bullied OG Kaia into opening the rift in the first place. She just smiles at him. This would be a super great time for Jody and/or Sam to pull him the fuck off her.

But we cut back to the morgue. Jack exposits about how the witch was sucking out the girls' youth. It seems blatantly obvious, but everyone else needed to be kinda off so that he could realize he's still useful.

Jack breaks the witch's pendant and some mysterious green life force floats back into Subplot Girl's corpse. It works! She's as good as new, or at least not dead or wrinkly anymore.

Alternate Kaia says Dean is just like Michael, using threats and violence. She saw what he did to OG Kaia when he got mad. "You're a dream walker, too," Sam surmises. She was connected to OG Kaia her whole life and saw what she saw. Although, if that's true, then she should have known that Claire wasn't a real threat to her and not tried to kill her.

Flashback to Michael making her the same offer he made everyone else.

She doesn't want to join his side or give him her spear, so fisticuffs ensue. That's when she stabs him like a cocktail olive and it apparently hurts him enough that he'd give up his jaunty cap. I mean his ideal vessel.

The Field & Stream monsters have found the cabin. "We only came for her, but I was never one to turn down a buffet," one of them says. Man, same. The fight gets underway. Even though they're superpowered monsters, they just barely have the upper hand with the Winchesters and Jody. Dean manages to get his gun out and shoots the leg of Alternate Kaia's chair. She frees herself.

"Now you're in trouble!" Dean laughs to the monsters. Alternate Kaia leaps out the nearest window. "Or not," Dean quips. Although it would serve him right for her to leave them to it, she returns a moment later and spears one of the monsters through the back of his head.

She's put her hood back up, too. Does the hood also have magic properties?? She kills the other two monsters in as many seconds, then whooshes her spear around like it's a prop in a dance number.

Sam sensibly points out that the monsters will keep chasing her as long as she has the spear, but she's not exactly going to trust them after all that. They should have just asked her what makes it special. Maybe they could make one of their own.

As everyone makes their way out of the woods, Dean starts, "Jody..." But she stops him. "You have nothing to apologize for." Well... okay. She's more worried about what she's going to tell Alex and Claire, and she's sorry she barely got to know OG Kaia before she died. "I just feel like I already lost, before I ever even began..."

Back at the bunker, Castiel and Jack have a heart-to-heart. Cas beams with pride and it's very sweet. "You proved you have the mind of a hunter, and the heart of a hunter." He invites Jack to go on a hunting trip with him.Jack reacts like someone just asked him if he wants to go to Disneyland.

But then he gets a little cough. He plays it off like it's just a cold, but we all know what it means when someone gets a little cough in fiction.

Yep, he's one romantic duet with Ewan McGregor away from an untimely death.

On the road home, Dean feels like he can finally open up about his feelings a little now that we're in the denouement of the episode. He says he put them all in danger today. He didn't want to think about what Michael had used him for. "I just wanted to race ahead, skip to the end of the story... where I take out the bad guy."

Dean says he remembers feeling like he was drowning while he was possessed. I can't help but compare it to his "Heaven and Hell" speech and how moving that one was. But you know how the saying goes. You either die young or you live long enough to die young again, and then you live long enough to die when you're middle-aged, and then you live long enough to be possessed by the villain, and then you make a similar speech to the one you made 10 years ago.

Jack is sitting alone in his room when another coughing fit hits. This one is worse. This time he coughs up blood into a tissue. Hm... What's that I hear?

So that's where we end the episode. Do you think Jack will die? Do you think Jack will die and come back? Reblog with your guesses below!

And now’s the self-promo time when I add my Ko-Fi link! (ko-fi.com/A4017DA)

These are some very desperate times for me, so if you have a few bucks to spare and you enjoyed this recap, I would very much appreciate any donation. I know it looks like I’ve received quite a few donations but those larger ones were me “donating” to myself with credit cards to pay bills that had to be paid from my bank.

I squeaked by on rent this month, but bills and groceries still gotta be paid for. Hit a real snag when several clients just refused to pay me for my work.

Or my Paypal address is btippi@gmail.com and if you send it as a gift - I think no fees are deducted from my end.

[safiyewagner]

beren saat, 27. now announcing her majesty, safiye ismihan wagner née sultan, the queen of austria. she is in favor of forming alliances during the plague and continues to work for the benefit of their homeland. they are said to be practical and poised, yet can be guarded and distrustful. in the palais foncé, they are known as the guardian.

Hey everyone! I’m Sam, and I’m super excited to be a part of this roleplay!!! Since I’m Irish myself I was gonna make my character from Ireland too but I saw there’s already a bunch of characters from there, so in the end I went with someone who’s originally from Turkey. Aaaaanyway, if anyone wants to plot or has a wanted connection you think Safiye would fit into, please let me know!!

Safiye Ismihan Sultan was born in 1819 in Topkapi Palace to Sultan Mahmud II and his consort Kamerfer Kadin.

Safiye is a member of the Ottoman Dynasty and so she did not grow up with the conventional family unit that most other people had. Her father, the Sultan, took no official wives and instead had children with a number of his concubines. This means Safiye has a large number of brothers and sisters back home in Turkey. Eighteen brothers and eighteen sisters, to be exact.

She was used to being just another face in the crowd and though she was loved dearly by all those who knew her, the girl found great difficulty in establishing her own place and identity within Topkapi. It seemed like someone was always louder than she was, or more demanding than she was, or more charming. Add that on top of the fact she didn’t have nearly as many privileges as her brothers, it would be safe to say Safiye assumed she could vanish in an instant and no one would notice.

Life at Topkapi Palace was luxurious and splendid, but it was also predictable, monotonous, and vicious. Her position as the daughter of the Sultan meant she was untouchable, but it did not stop her from witnessing the tensions between her father’s women as they all continuously jostled for the attention and favor of Mahmoud. Living in the palace also meant that she was required to adhere to strict etiquette that made socializing with anyone other than people in the harem very difficult.

Safi would often slink away to spend her days in the gardens which was one of the few ways she could find some peace and quiet.

Another way she would pass the time was to throw herself into her studies. Unlike her other European counterparts, Safiye was afforded a greater amount of agency in numerous aspects, one of them being her exemplary education. She devoured whatever the scholars offered and even managed to win her father’s pride with her ability to absorb knowledge.

Thanks to the agency afforded to Muslim women, Safiye had wealth that was entirely her own and had nothing to do with the men in her life. Unlike other European women, she had access to the justice system. Had she been married during her time in Turkey, she could have divorced her husband if she wanted to. She was also capable of buying and selling property, which Safiye ended up doing when she and one of her sisters established a school for poor children.

Indeed, life within the Ottoman Dynasty was great in many ways, though the Empire itself had stared showing signs of decline. Gone were the days of Suleiman the Magnificent and the Sultanate of Women. Their borders had shrunk with time, and Safiye’s father sought to do something about it.

Over the course of Ottoman reign, women from all over Europe were brought to Constantinople to serve as concubines. However, Safiye could not recall a time where an Ottoman princess married anyone other than a Turkish statesman. Of course, that was until Mahmoud decided he needed to start forming more amicable relationships with European royals if his own dynasty was going to flourish.

It started with Austria, and making Safiye it’s Queen.

From the beginning, Safi was very against becoming Matteo’s wife. She knew nothing about him except his name, and though she was told he was kind and handsome, the young woman was shrewd enough to know that those were probably lies to make him seem more appealing. However, Safiye would never disobey her father, so when Mahmoud declared that she would be the one to go to Austria, the brunette merely smiled through gritted teeth.

The months following the announcement were a whirlwind for Safiye, and not a happy one. Marrying a member of the Austrian royal family meant she would have to give up her religion and convert to Christianity. She would have to give up her own separate personal wealth because everything she owned would become the property of her husband as soon as they were wed. She would lose her right to buy and sell property, and her access to the judicial system. To Safiye it seemed like she was loosing far more than she was gaining.

During her journey from Constantinople to Vienna was long, and the princess welcomed the time to contemplate what awaited her. Safiye realized that if she was ever going to be happy in her new life, she would have to leave the negativity behind. After all, the least Matteo deserved was that she tried.

Upon arriving in Vienna, the first thing that piqued her attention was the novelty of no longer having to be hidden from view of everyone who wasn’t a part of the harem. For the first time, strangers were allowed to gaze upon her. The second thing Safiye noticed was the magnificent architecture. Everything was so wildly different than her homeland that she couldn’t help but feel like a fish out of water. Safiye had been learning German in preparation, but her grasp on the language was still tenuous adding yet another barrier that needed to be broken.

To her great relief, everything she had been told about Matteo was true. Indeed, he was handsome. His kindness was also apparent even though Safi couldn’t understand everything he was saying. Upon their first meeting she began to think that maybe she would be able to find real and lasting happiness in Austria.

As time passed, Safiye’s comfort grew. Even though as a child she had felt lost in her small army of siblings, she now missed their presence but made up for it by learning about the people of her new home and making friends in ways she hadn’t been allowed to before. The brunette’s confidence soared higher the better her German was and eventually Austria truly felt like home. When Safiye left COnstantinople she had been afraid that she was giving up more than she was gaining and while it’s true she gave up some of her freedoms, she also gained some she never had before.

TO BE CONTINUED

[arkadianpen]

Somnia In Sanguinem - 3

Ch 1 / Ch 2 / Ch 3

Promising silence

If he had known beforehand that Fenris was to be a part of the trip, Anders might have made excuses for why he couldn’t come after all. He had been more than halfway tempted to do so anyway - except Hawke had given him that look, blue eyes wide, projecting an air of innocence and the assumption that of course Anders wouldn’t leave him to face the risk of possible maiming and almost certain death without a healer.

Which was nonsense, of course - the only ones in imminent danger of maiming and death would be the bandits unfortunate enough to tangle with Hawke and his friends. Not that pointing this out to Hawke had ever gotten Anders anywhere; Hawke was a force of nature unto himself, and at some point along the way Anders had gotten swept off his feet by the tide of the man’s personality and charm and resigned himself to the knowledge that he may as well just go along with Hawke’s plans, as it was invariably the easier course. And helping Hawke usually entailed helping others who had been treated unjustly in any case; eliminating the bandits would make the coast safer for travellers on the roads, including those Ferelden refugees who chose to depart Kirkwall in search of a new life here in the Free Marches.

In many ways, Hawke reminded Anders of the Warden. He’d been swept along by the force of Beren Amell’s personality as well - both in the Circle and then later, after Anders owed him his life and liberty.

Beren had had blue eyes too, Anders mused.

Anders truly did need to replenish his stock herbs in any case, and at least with Hawke around he could do so without the risk of encountering the bandits by himself. There’d been rumours of slavers operating along the Wounded Coast recently besides the usual bandits, and he had no intentions of finding himself dosed up on magebane and handcuffed in the bowels of a slaver ship bound for Tevinter. Fenris had made it quite clear - repeatedly - just what he thought Anders’ chances would be in the Imperium; which was to say, pretty slim and likely unpleasant. Tevinter, it seemed, was the kind of place where a mage would thrive - if he were ruthless enough to trample on the backs of others and wasn’t too picky about blood magic; a Spirit Healer without ties to one of the noble houses, unprepared to resort to blood magic and keeping slaves, would soon find himself a slave - and pretty pennies were to be had for any slaver bringing in a mage.

Fenris had seemed to take almost a vindictive pleasure in regaling Anders with those facts, as though he relished the thought of seeing Anders in slave collar and chains. Anders wondered if the elf would take such pleasure if he only knew how often Anders’ nightmares featured chains and cold iron collars.

Many of Fenris’ statements about mages, Anders had attempted to ignore rather than be drawn into yet another fight (not that he’d ever had much success on that score), but the elf might have been surprised to learn just how much attention Anders had paid to his statements about Tevinter - and taken them very much to heart. It was purely enlightened self-interest, of course - or so he told himself. Anders had spent almost his whole life running away in one way or another, and when he inevitably would find himself having to flee Kirkwall in time, he had no intentions of exchanging slavery at the hands of templars for slavery at the hands of magisters.

(He tried to ignore the indignant voice deep within that protested the injustice of a society built upon slavery; he had enough on his plate with the mage underground and combating the injustices of the Chantry wherever and however he could. He was only one man, and combating an entire Empire was beyond him. Justice’s surge of righteous anger was hard to quell and even harder to ignore however.)

His attentiveness certainly had nothing to do with any unwitting feelings of kinship that the elf’s matter-of-fact mentions of his own treatment as a slave may have aroused in Anders, he told himself. After all, the elf evidently felt no such kinship - he certainly made that clear, whenever Anders mentioned the injustices done to the mages in the Circle. (The mage tried to ignore the nagging feelings of self-recrimination whenever he felt his irritation rising over that.)

Maybe it was sympathy for what Fenris had gone through in his past that was the reason why he hadn’t told Hawke and Varric just what had really transpired in his clinic when Fenris woke up; or maybe it was something else. When Anders had finally dragged himself to the Hanged Man, Hawke and Varric had both been aghast at his state of exhaustion

All these thoughts were running through Anders’ head as they made their way through the twisting paths that threaded through the shallow canyons above the cliffs along the coast. The air was parched and hot, and Anders thought he would likely drown in his own sweat beneath all his layers. Or melt. Or keel over from heat stroke. Likely all three, before they encountered any sign of these bandits they were supposed to be on the lookout for.

He glared balefully at Fenris’ back as the elf strode on ahead of the others. The white-haired warrior showed no signs of discomfort from the sun as he stalked along the dusty path, eyes and ears alert for any signs or sounds of threat, oblivious to Anders’ stare as the mage sweltered in the heat, Varric and Hawke both looking uncomfortable as well. The dwarf was evidently regretting his decision not to leave his leather greatcoat behind, and Hawke was sweating heavily in his leather rogue’s armour. Only Isabela seemed as comfortable and at home in the oppressive heat as Fenris.

“You know, you really would be more comfortable if you stripped down,” she mused conversationally as she strode beside Anders, glancing at him and letting her eyes trawl down his body.

“I’m fine,” replied Anders tersely. He reached for his water canteen and unstoppered it, then frowned as he realised only a small trickle of water remained. How had he drunk it all already?

“You don’t look fine,” pressed the Rivaini pirate. Just up ahead, Hawke halted and glanced back, Varric stopping beside him.

“Anders? Are you alright? You look very pale,” remarked Hawke. Beyond him, the elf halted and turned to stare at the mage.

Anders halted as well and leaned on his staff. “I told you, I’m fine,” he insisted stubbornly.

Fenris made his way back to the others. “There is a small spring just up ahead; it is shaded by several trees. I suggest we stop a while and refill out water canteens. Mine is empty.”

Anders blinked. It sounded suspiciously like the elf was being uncharacteristically considerate. But far be it for Anders to quibble whilst they stood there in the heat of the blazing sun.

“Lead on then,” nodded Hawke, gesturing for Fenris to lead the way. The elf eyed Anders for a moment with an inscrutable look before turning away.

“At least take your coat off,” suggested Isabela as she tugged at his sleeve. Anders scowled at her and stomped after Hawke and Fenris.

***

The shade beneath the trees was welcome relief from the midday heat - as was the refreshing, cool water. Anders had finally been persuaded to take off his heavy coat and sat with his back resting against the trunk of a tree, his shirtsleeves rolled up and his shirt unlaced at the neck to catch the cool breeze.

Isabela and Varric were whispering to each other as the Rivaini pirate peered over the dwarf’s shoulder at the leather journal he was scrawling in. Another of their little “friend fics”, no doubt; he idly wondered who was the unwitting protagonist in this one. Probably Hawke, from the way Isabela kept glancing at the rogue who was oblivious as he frowned at the loose binding on the haft of one of his knives.

He leaned back against the tree trunk and closed his eyes as he allowed himself to relax for once. It would be folly to chase after the bandits in the midday heat; they’d decided to rest for a while in the cool shade under the trees to while away the hottest part of the day, and Anders was welcoming the chance to do nothing for once. It was rare he had such an opportunity - and even Justice was silent for once, evidently recognising that there was nothing useful Anders could do at this particular moment.

He must have dozed off; he was startled awake by a hand lightly squeezing his shoulder and a low voice near his ear.

“Mage. Be perfectly still.”

Anders’ eyes flew open in alarm. Fenris was crouched beside him, his breath warm upon the side of his neck and his fingers tightening upon Anders’ shoulder, halting the mage’s instinctive flinch. Anders could see at a glance that it was far later now, and the others were nowhere to be seen. And in front of him, sniffing at Anders’ right foot, was the biggest feral mabari he’d ever seen in his life.

Anders swallowed hard and glanced to the side - to see his staff lying upon the ground just out of reach. A low growl drew his attention back to the mabari as it bared fangs, hackles raised, crouched ready to spring.

Even as it leapt towards his throat with a horrible snarl, there was a flash of brilliant blue-white light and then Anders grunted as the dog’s body slammed heavily into his chest. He glanced up with wide eyes at Fenris who stood over him, the mabari’s heart clutched in one bloodied fist for a moment before he threw it aside and drew his sword, leaping to meet the rest of the pack with a snarl of his own. Anders struggled out from beneath the still-warm corpse of the dead mabari and reached for his staff.

Between them, it took a few minutes’ hard fighting before all the mabari were down and dead. Panting, Anders leaned on his staff for a moment to catch his breath before he straightened and glanced at Fenris.

“That could have been nasty,” he gasped as he attempted to wipe ineffectually at the blood soaking through his shirt. “Where are the others?”

“They went to swim in the cove,” replied Fenris as he turned slowly. He made his way over to his pack and tugged out a cloth to wipe the blood off his blade with. “I felt it best not to leave you sleeping unprotected.”

Anders ran a hand through his sweat-soaked hair and stared at Fenris. “Then I suppose I owe you my life,” he remarked. Fenris glanced up at him.

“Yes, I suppose you do,” the elf agreed. “Though I would settle for an answer.”

“What?” said Anders, bewildered. “An answer? To what?”

Fenris walked slowly towards Anders, who backed away as the warrior drew closer. “You have not told Hawke or the others what transpired in your clinic. You have not told them what I am.”

Anders let out a small yelp as his back hit the trunk of a tree, unable to retreat further as Fenris advanced on him.

“Why have you kept silent?” pressed Fenris as he drew closer. “You were angry. Afraid. And yet you said nothing of what I did to you. Why?”

“You said you hadn’t meant to hurt me,” Anders blurted out. “I - I believed you. You could have killed me, but you didn’t.”

Fenris halted in front of Anders, mere inches away. “I could have,” the elf nodded. “But I did not wish for you to die.”

Though Anders stood several inches taller than the elf, somehow Fenris seemed to loom over him as Anders pressed himself against the trunk of the tree. His staff slipped from suddenly-nerveless fingers as he felt cold fear sheet over him. He swallowed hard, remembering the feel of sharp fangs sinking into his throat.

“I will not hurt you, Anders,” said Fenris quietly. “Why would I have stayed to protect you if I wished you harm?”

“What do you want, Fenris?” asked Anders nervously, hating the way his voice quavered slightly. “My silence? I’ve not breathed a word to Hawke or anyone else - I swear it.”

“I know,” nodded Fenris. “What I don’t understand is why. You have no love for me; you ordered me from your clinic when I tried to apologise. Yet you have kept my secret. I am grateful to you for that, but I have to wonder at your silence.”

“I know what it’s like to have to keep a part of yourself secret,” said Anders bleakly. “I’m sure you have your reasons for not sharing that part of yourself with the others. Maker knows, I have enough secrets of my own.”

“Just so,” nodded Fenris. “And now I must trust you to also keep mine.”

“I swear I won’t breathe a word!” Anders exclaimed, pressing his back hard against the tree trunk.

Fenris stared at him then sighed. “Anders, I do not wish you to be afraid of me,” he said quietly.

“Well, you’ve got a bloody weird way of showing it!” snapped Anders. “You scare the shit out of me, and this -” he gestured to the scant inches between them, “is not helping! I’ve told you I won’t breathe a word; what more do you want from me? More blood?”

Fenris recoiled as though stung. “Not that! I - no, I do not wish your blood!”

“Then what? What do you want from me, dammit?” exclaimed Anders.

“I-” began Fenris, then fell silent as they both heard the sounds of running feet. The elf turned abruptly away and stalked over to one of the dead mabari, turning it over with a foot as Isabela, Varric and Hawke stumbled to a halt and stared around at the carnage.

“Anders! What happened? Are you hurt?” exclaimed Hawke as he hurried over to the mage.

“I’m fine,” sighed Anders as he shrugged. “This blood’s not mine.”

“Let me just check,” said Hawke as he reached for the hem of Anders’ ragged and bloodstained shirt; resigned, Anders tugged the shirt off over his head so Hawke could reassure himself the mage was unharmed.

He was aware of Fenris’ eyes upon him as he turned away.