#he realized that Jason's core was sick with revenge

[nelkcats]

The correct meaning

Danny didn't know that the first thing he would do when he retired from being a hero would be to open a flower shop, but he found that flowers brought him peace. Maybe it had something to do with commemorating the dead, or with his lack of a headstone, but flowers were soothing.

Ghosts never messed with them, they were almost sacred in the Infinite Realms, and with the help of his friends he researched the meaning of all of them. Besides carrying a small dictionary because he didn't have a photographic memory.

Unfortunately, he couldn't open his flower shop in Amity, his parents made the whole thing very awkward and he didn't know if he would be able to make a bouquet that would go to that cemetery, a cemetery where he didn't belong.

So he opened his store in Gotham, where his sister was staying. He bought a small place and went about tending to his plants. He tended to anyone and gave them a little bouquet depending on what he saw in them. Ivy seemed delighted.

Jason didn't know what to think of hid bouquet with orange lilies, lavender, hyacinths and gardenias. It was certainly an odd combination, and he didn't know why the florist looked so determined to give him the bouquet, but he accepted it, the boy looked happy about it before going back to work.

A week later he gave him a different bouquet, and Jason wondered if he was going crazy, was the florist flirting with him or had he read too many books?

[sweet-sammy-kisses]

Fallen Bird

Make the World Bleed Chapter 1: Fallen Bird Fandom: DC Comics/Red Robin/Batman/Young Justice Pairings/Characters: Conner/Tim/Jason, Bruce/Clark/Diana, Core Four, Cassandra & Tim, Dick & Tim, Dick & Damian, Bruce & Tim, Tim & his Assassin Trio Summary: The Core Four have a bond that will never break, will never fade. When one of their own is hurt by someone who should be family to them the other three respond in force. When Tim's line is cut and he is seriously injured Conner, Bart and Cassie are ready to declare war against anyone who stands in their way of helping Tim, even if that means making a devil with the Devil himself, Ra's Al Ghul.  Author Notes: Written for the @badthingshappenbingo my prompt: falling from great heights. I love stories that deal with Damian cutting Tim’s grappling line and the fallout and aftermath that and my love of the Core Four turning into their dark selves this because one of their own is injured by someone is supposed to be family.  You can also read it on AO3

There were few things Tim Drake loved more than flying through the Gotham night sky as Robin and even though he was no longer Robin, something that still left a deep ache he refused to let the loss of Robin take away his wings and he was finally finding his place soaring as Red Robin.

Gotham was once a place that Tim called home. Once he thought he had found a family but the feeling of home and family were nothing but seemed in the distant past.

No longer could he call Wayne Manor or the Penthouse home. Nor could he call the other Bat's family.

He had realized that the hard way that he no longer belonged or he had never really been a part of the Wayne family.

Tim could feel himself on the edge there was only so much more he could take from Damian, only his team, Cassandra and surprisingly Helena saw how much the abuse was getting to him and the fact that he was just to turn the other cheek was slowly breaking him.

None of them could understand why the adults in Damian's life never once thought to take him aside and explain why he can't treat Tim the way he does. Not one of them set bounders for him. They reprimanded Tim because as the older of the two he should know better. And it was getting to the point that even Raven and Gar, who Tim didn't want them to get involved due to their strong bond with Dick, were reaching their breaking point. Several times they had to stop Raven from tossing the Bat-family into a hell dimension in their underwear.

Helena, Conner and Bart had been all for that idea and it was only because Tim begged her not to did Raven back down.

"If they keep placing the blame on you for Damian's actions I will do it," Raven warned, her normally warm eyes blazing with rage. Raven's vow whispered through Tim's mind.

No, shoving those thoughts to the back of his head Tim lost himself in something he loved.

Tim loved flying between the buildings it was one of his favourite things as a hero. His grapple line gave him a sense of freedom.

Freedom from the tension in the cave.

Freedom from the feeling that he didn't belong in the cave.

Freedom that he had lost a second family.

Then he heard it, something that shouldn't be happening not with a Bat-approved grapple the snapping of his line.  

Tim only had seconds to hear the snap before he was falling. "Conner!" He knew that he could count on him, his best friend who kept his promise that he would always be listening to his heartbeat.

But deep in his heart, he knew that it was going to be too late. 'Please Conner don't blame yourself.' Tim pleaded before darkness claimed him.

The pure terror in Tim's voice will haunt Conner 'Kon' Kent for the rest of his days as will his guilt for being a second too late in catching Tim. Looking at the broken boy of his best friend Conner felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest.

Pressing his comm to the rest of the Titans, "Guys you need to get to Gotham." Conner didn't care that his voice wobbled there was no way that he could stay strong or even pretend that everything was alright, nothing would be alright after this.

"Dude, what is wrong Conner? You are scaring me here." Bart's worried voice came over the line. It wasn't often that Conner would suggest that they break Batman's no meta in Gotham's rule. There was only one reason he would do so.

Bart's worse fears were confirmed when Conner whispered, "It's Tim, he's hurt badly."

Only the movement of his hair alerted Conner to Bart's arrival.

"Oh god." Bart felt like he was going to be sick at the sight he arrived at, he and the others had always been protective over Tim as he was the only human on their team but the one time he truly needed them and they failed him.

"I'm going to kill whoever did this." Bart snarled out, Tim was family and he would do everything in his power to keep those he loves safe.

"First we need to get Tim's help." Whoever did this will pay but getting Tim's aid comes first.

+******+

It was no secret among the Bat-family that there was a rivalry between the two youngest sons Timothy Drake-Wayne and Damian Wayne.

Richard "Dick" Grayson had hoped that they would grow out of it, he couldn't understand why Tim couldn't see that as being Damian's older brother he was to not let Damian's words get to him. Damian had come from the League of Assassins and his abusive upbringing was all he knew. Of course, he was going to lash out and Tim to Damian was an easy target.

Tonight Tim had let Damian get to him once again and stormed out of the cave, Dick only hoped that when he returned he was willing to apologize to Damian.

Jason Todd was fighting the urge to slam some heads together and at the top of his list is Dickie and the smug brat Damian. He had heard from Cass and Helena that things were pretty bad when it came to Tim and Damian and how Damian was allowed to get away with everything while Tim took the blame.

Yeah, he had tried to kill the kid, something that Jason hasn't forgiven himself for. He had allowed Talia to twist him up and he took it out on the one person who didn't deserve his rage. Tim might have forgiven him but he did and Dick sure as hell didn't. So he couldn't understand why Dick was allowing the demon brat to emotionally, verbally and physically abuse Tim and stay silent when he saw it first hand or got angry when Tim defended himself.

'For someone who claims to love family, he sure has proven that he can only love one brother at a time.' Jason felt for Tim. He was trying to be there for Tim but it was a work in progress.

It just baffled him and pissed him off that Bruce, Dick, Alfred, Stephanie and Barbara never once questioned why they allowed Damian to get away with treating Tim like he was trash. Why they never spoke up when Damian time after time told Tim that he wasn't wanted, that he wasn't part of the family. Why Damian sought to kill Tim and only Tim. Jason just hoped that they would wake up before it was too late.

It turned out it was too late.

For all of his skills, Damian found he couldn't move as the speedster kept him pinned to the wall, one hand wrapped around his throat the other vibrating right above his heart, "One wrong move and I vibrate my hand through your chest and into your heart." Bart Allen hissed, his happy-go-lucky personality replaced by a hardened man with no mercy left.

Damian refused to show any fear for that was a sign of weakness and he was anything but weak.

No help was coming as Cassie Sandsmark had Stephanie wrapped up in her lasso, she looked every inch of the Amazonian warrior she is.

Richard had his hands full with an enraged Superboy who was out for pure blood and Raven along with Huntress were keeping his father and Todd busy.

'I always knew that she was not to be trusted.' Damian thought bitterly at the betrayal from someone that was supposed to be one of their own. "I have no idea what you want but I suggest that you let me go and vacate the cave as well as Gotham and I might not seek revenge."

Bart's eyes burned with untamed rage, "Of course you would threaten violence for all the claims that you have changed you still fall back on old habits and isn't hurting Tim tonight enough for you? Or do you wish to stain your hands with blood some more?" Bart hissed at him.

Dick who was close enough to hear was confused, "What happened to Timmy?"

"Don't act like you don't know! You let this happen!" Conner snarled as he felt his eyes heating up and oh how he wanted nothing more than to unleash his heat beam on those who had harmed his Tim.

"Conner, I need you to calm down. I'm sure that Damian didn't mean for this to happen." Dick pleaded he needed to make Conner as well as himself believe that was true that Damian hadn't meant to hurt Tim. "I'm sure if we could talk to Tim we can clear this all up."

"Lies!" Conner hissed out, "This isn't the first time that little demon has tried to kill Tim and because he was never told by you Bruce or Alfred that killing Tim was wrong he found it acceptable and kept trying and now he has succeeded in seriously harming Tim. You are to blame as much as he is because you never took the time to explain that Tim is very much as a family as he is and Tim has the right to feel safe in his own home! Tim is fighting for his life right now because none of you had the balls to tell that demon spawn that killing is wrong!"

Damian froze a flicker of fear as Conner's words vibrated around the cave and all moment stopped.

Dick was sure that for a second his heart had stopped beating, "What do you mean?"

"I mean that Tim screamed my name as he fell knowing that I would always be listening for him if he needed me. I found my best friend's broken body laying on the ground. Bart found the cut zip line and Helena got Vic to look at the footage and what he found proved all of our fears Damian cut Tim's line, he fell because of him!"

Cassandra Cain was torn, she loved her family but Tim, Tim was special he was her little brother, her little bird, the one who never gave up on her and the first one to trust her.

"Hurt brother. Cannot forgive. Cannot trust. " It hurt Cass to say those words but she knew deep in her heart it was true.

Nodding his head Jason crossed his arms over his chest, "I agree with princess here. I knew this family was messed up but hell letting me then the demon spawn tries and kill replacement without consciences is a new low. At least I did my best to make amends with Timmy, and for some reason, he found it in his heart to forgive me."

"You were his big brother, the first one to believe in him and you turned your back on him." It was Helena's words that cut Dick to the core.

"Don't bother looking for Tim, he is somewhere safe and you will never see him again," Conner growled. Bart and Cassie stood united with him. They had once seen a future where they turned dark, where they crossed lines and for Tim, they were willing to do that now.

If it meant taking on Batman, his family and the whole Justice League they would do so in a heartbeat to keep Tim safe.

[countjason]

Jason’s 8th Annual Post/Pre-Year Review/Goal

Last year, I didn’t do this so is this 8 or is this one again?  Maybe’s it’s 7?  Idk…let’s assume it’s 8.

I forget why I didn’t do this since I’ve been pretty good over the course of the decade in both setting goals and reflecting, both good and bad on the outcome of those goals.  I couldn't give you an answer why 2018 was so different than the previous 6 years.  For good or bad, these entries are the only ones I do and maybe the last on Tumblr now that the platform may be dying due to porn.  Either way, I will reflect in the best I can given I didn’t set goals for 2018 and start anew with goals for 2019.

2018 Reflection

Work

2018 was hard.  It started strong with the new position at my new job as a scheduler.  I soon realized, however, I made an ill-made choice.  I can't say it was a "bad" decision because, at the time, I wasn't happy on what became of me being a configuration, change, release manager and the prospect of me being a project manager was slim with the ongoing fight between our contract prime and my company at the time.  The decision to leave seemed easy since my current company had a pay increase so, hey, follow the money right?

Well, six months in and I began to grow tired of the sheer boredom of the job.  Here I go from running a major project, flying to Germany to work with the customer, addressing changes and being active (though be it not what I wanted  to do) NOW basically perform statuses once a month and learning nothing new.  It’s almost to the point where I think I’m forgetting some skills like my SharePoint knowledge since they don’t use that tool at all and caught in their own ways (and anytime you try to change or show them a better way, you’re immediately dismissed).  

I can pinpoint the exact day that started the ongoing job hunt. It was not after I graduated - no, it in September 2018 when my company posted a position for a project manager and I immediately inquired to my boss for which I was told I don't have enough experience for the role.  Not enough experience?  How the heck am I supposed to get experience when I’m not mentored, spinning in my chair picking my nose half the month and told there’s nothing else I need to do or I’m not physically doing any aspect of the job to gain said experience you want in a project manager here?  Do you really think I would leave you hung out to dry or wouldn't know where to ask for help should I needed it (which was likely)? Are you so concerned with your company image that the slightest ignorance in any area is a death sentence?  Here I was familiar with the protocol the company did for financials, scheduling, and other areas that I learned over the course of nine months but because I wasn't an engineer, I was told they wanted to more likely recruit talent from a competitor and more engineering minded despite the fact all the previous PMs had little to no engineering experience at all.  Mind you this was after graduating with my master’s degree in Project Management, have more certifications that are gold standards for my line of work, and just having a background in previous project management type functions and keep in mind folks - a PM is not necessarily the subject matter expert, they are what keeps the project rolling so you really don’t need to know every aspect of a program, just who to talk to and where to look.  

They made me a “Deputy Program Manager” after this conversation but the bulk of my job has been the same as I started...  

It didn’t help they screwed over one of my only friends I barely made at my company and he quit. I’m horrible at making friends and I respected this guy because he was one of the few people that valued my input and didn’t treat me like a high-school intern (“ok children, today we’ll learn what a work breakdown structure is…”).  

Now to continue and conclude with the job topic because this horse is beat’in to death (Sorry, Not Sorry PETA), I will say that the outlook VERY recently is looking good. I have a few more interviews between a couple more companies and hopefully, I can land where my talent is useful.

School

I graduated college in 2018 the 3rd time.  

This time with a master’s degree in project management as I previously mentioned.  It was never my desire after graduating in 2011 to go back to school but in 2015, after watching Caitlin struggle with part-time work and full-time school, I wanted to set somewhat of an example in that you can work full-time work and school and get done with things.  Fast forward to 2018 and I’m done with that and Caitlin is still in school.  I am proud of this accomplishment since the 21-year-old Jason would have never believed I’d have a master’s degree.  

There's some internal vindication for all those Navy Officers that were "better than me since they were Officers" or Chief’s that said “leaving the Navy would be the worst decision I ever made” that I now have a higher education than over half of them a decade later.  They say revenge doesn't feel good – they are full a shit or I'm messed up.   I got to fly my parents to Maryland to witness the graduation in person so at least I know they got to see that.  I did enroll at Columbia Southern University in 2018 to work toward my DBA.  I finished all my prerequisite classes but had to put my school on hold due to the expense of Caitlin's school doubling on me. More on this in 2019 goals.  I’m looking to start that back up in the summer if all aligns properly.

Entertainment

If there’s one thing that I like to do these days is follow NASCAR.  I turned into my father but don’t hate it really.  Here’s me running at New Smyra Speedway this past past weekend.

Unfortunately, when it came to going to NASCAR races this year, we bet and lost on rain occurring in Atlanta (we ended up getting a cat named “Rain De’Lay” as a result and I watched the race happen on TV even though every weatherman said it was going to pour!) and Dad got sick this year and he couldn’t come to the Roval race we planned as well. We did plan the Bristol night race in 2019 so hopefully, I can have that.  Caitlin was a trooper for going to the Charlotte race with me which I know she didn’t overly like which was expected...

BUT…she did go camping and see the north which leads to later this month in us going to the Asheville area of North Carolina for Christmas vacation. If there’s one time in my life I want snow to happen it’s coming up here soon.

Also in entertainment, we had mini-adventures that’s needed – I went to St. Augustine overnight hunting ghosts (or talking to a lamp) at the British Pub’s upstairs apartment.  

Worth noting but technically out-of-bounds for this topic is Caitlin and I went to New Orleans LATE December 2017 (so almost 2018). I also rode in a boat during the Gasperilla festival which is a whole new level of experience.  I am curious to know how many water balloons we will have this year?

We went to Daytona several times this year including our annual family stay at the timeshare and mini-getaways as recent as last week.  We also explored Washington DC and Baltimore during my graduation trip.

Okay – now planning/goals out 2019…

Get a new job – This one is important since 90% of my waking existence is at a job.  If I’m not happy there, it’s too my core and I’m not happy in general.  I wish I was better in this area since Caitlin works in the funeral business and has a better appreciation toward the little things but it’s still a thing since it is 90% of my waking life and I’ve worked since I was 16 yrs old.   I would obviously like to get paid what I feel I’m deserved too – not just get a job to get away from another job.  

Vacations – I have a cruise planned in May which is almost paid for and I would like to eventually go to Las Vegas.  I wouldn’t want to go to Vegas without a little money in my pocket, but we’ll see.  I also have the Bristol night race in August which represents the final bucket list race I could want to do with my Dad.  Does that mean I’m done after Bristol? Probably not but I could certainly wish my Dad off should he die knowing I got him there, Talledega, Daytona, Homestead, and Atlanta.

School – I got a long way to go for a DBA but I’d like to get the main classes started in 2019.  I gotta wait until money isn't so tight or there are options like tuition assistance but I'd like to get started in that.

Find more friends – A lot of my friends 8 years ago I don't really relate to now.  I'm simply not the same person. Those people, in most cases, are the EXACT same people and we don't relate.  Going back to 90% of my day with work, I need to find work friends but certainly not at my current job where everyone I work with me is 20 years older than me or are unsociable.  I mean it can't get any worse than now where I have a co-worker literally 5 feet behind me and insist to communicate primarily through email.  Even if it's not "work" friends, I need friends that have the same goals, likes, and what not.  That's why I like people like Eric or James– they have ambition in areas I like today. I still need to find a NASCAR buddy too but that’s surprisingly hard.

Health – Anyone that says getting older doesn’t suck can blow me.  I know less than 5 years ago, I could run in the morning and had gym buddies which motivated me.  Granted I was walking around like I was crippled half the time afterward, but it was fun.  I really don't have that same motivation these days.  I still go to the gym periodically but not as I used too.  I joke about my fat head so maybe in 2019, I'll find that extra gas in the tank and while I've accepted not being 180 lbs again, maybe just looking better which will make me feel better as well.  

Financially working in the right direction – To get my house, I had to use retirement money.  To fix the carpet that got destroyed in Caitlin’s library, I had to use more.  I have quite a bit of old debt and new debt that is higher than I like but there’s always been this assumption that I’m just waiting for the right job to pay me what I deserve, AND Caitlin will finally pull her weight since I support her. Once one or both those things happen, we will be able to work off that debt and maybe see the chances of retirement….eventually.  

Potentially Move? – Given the job prospects, I’ve been looking at opportunities to leave Florida. I am so over “hot, humid, high of 100” every-freakin-day.  Part of the upcoming North Carolina trip is to expose Caitlin to the cold. If she tolerates it, the option to move up north is more present. I mean hell, our house is an igloo anyway.  Even still talking about moving north, moving east in Florida has the same possibilities. I know 2019 may be too soon given the dependency I have with Caitlin but given the right situation, it’s entirely possible.  

Help Caitlin – I could jokingly say “well this is a huge project” but I don’t mean it like that.  She’s been fighting her demons and I’ve been helping.  I would also foresee myself assisting in her passing her classes and exams she needs to take but that’s really all on her and if she asks for it. In all, I just hope to continue to be a good(ish) role-model and help when I can.

Iracing – 2 more to 10…geez, we’re hitting the bottom of the barrel now.  This is just a hobby, be it an expensive hobby I built up, but I hope to continue doing well in the game and not get bored with it lol.  It’s just too expensive to not.

House Upgrades – I would like to upgrade the floors in the man cave and the bedroom in 2019.  This is a lot of work and shifting of things since I have the master bed which is huge in one room and the racing rig and desk in the other.  I have the supplies sitting in the corner collecting dust waiting to be done, but I would need to shift so much around to do it, I’ve told myself it can only be done if we move.  We’ll see, not putting a lot of hope in this one but it’s number 10 on the list.

Well that’s 2019′s plans for you and some reflection on 2018.  Talk to you next year Jason (and anyone else that reads my rhetoric).