#he says he might be okay with being the...sherrif? or whatever?

[imaginepostingonmain]

COWBOY JIMMY COWBOY JIMMY COWBOY JIMMY COWBOY JIMMY

"I'm not...the greatest fan'o horses. Cannae stand em, really. Feckin great beasties, tramplin' everywhere... naaaaee thank ye. I'll stick with jus' bein' Finance Jimmy fer now."

[when-they-write-stuff]

I feel like 50 would be what Stiles would say to Derek the morning after a full moon when he finds Derek asleep in his back yard, because his wolf took him there the night before.

50. “Why are you naked?”

- -

Stiles wasn’t sure how Derek got outside of his house naked.Okay, he totally was. But that doesn’t mean he’d expected it or ever thought it would be something that happened to him. Things just didn’t work like that. 

The point is, Stiles didn’t expect to wake up this morning and look out of his kitchen window to see Derek standing there, fully naked, looking like he’d just come from a wild party or something.

Because yeah, this was Stiles’s life now. 

Yay.

Stiles stared at him for a moment longer before trudging out the back door and pausing on the porch. Derek straightened as Stiles came into view and his hands flew down to block some… lower regions. Stiles pointedly averted his eyes.

“Okay, Sourwolf, we’re going to have to start setting up some boundaries. Why are you naked in my backyard?”

“Stiles, where are my clothes?”

That wasn’t exactly what Stiles had expected to hear. He blinked a few times and then lowered his hand a few inches so he could get a good look at the man’s face.

Derek was staring at him like this was Stiles’s fault. Which was totally unfair.

“Gee,” Stiles said. “I don’t know. I was going to ask you the same question.”

“Stiles, I swear to god—”

“Okay,” Stiles said, cutting him off. “If you even dare to try and put this on me, I’m going right back inside and locking your little wolfy ass out here. Now, do you want to come get some clothes on or do you want to stay out here and moon my neighbors when they come out to water their flowers?”

Derek glared at him for a long moment. Then the man grunted and Stiles smiled, turning back toward his house.

“I thought so.”

Stiles was more than happy his dad had an early shift because he didn’t even know how to begin explaining Derek and his… nakedness. If he looked (which he would never) he was pretty sure the man was covered in mud, which he also didn’t understand.

“Okay,” he said, eyes still turned in the other direction. “Do you want to attempt wearing my clothes again or do you want me to try and find you something of my dad’s?”

“I want to take a shower.”

Stiles blinked. Then he turned and gave Derek a flat look, not even caring anymore. “Okay, dude, the tone is really not necessary here. I’m not the one running around naked when it’s not even a full moon. And what the hell is even going on with that? Please tell me this isn’t a kink or a hobby that I’ve stumbled across because I don’t think I’ll be able to take it.”

Derek only gave him a flat, slightly murderous look and didn’t say a thing. Stiles sighed and turned toward the stairs. 

“Fine, don’t tell me. Come on, I’ll show you the bathroom and look for some of my dad’s clothes while you’re attempting to get yourself together or whatever. But this cannot become a normal thing.”

“It won’t become a normal thing.”

“Yeah, that’s what you said the first night you climbed through my window.”

“Stiles—”

“What,” Stiles said, turning around and arching an eyebrow. He was pretty sure his eyes did not flit anywhere they shouldn’t for a millisecond but then Derek’s face turned bright red, so maybe they had. But could he really be blamed? There was a literal naked werewolf walking around his house with muscles like Superman and Stiles was supposed to not look?

Not look. Yeah, that was something he was supposed to do.

Turning sharply away, Stiles gestured down the hall. “Okay, the bathroom is down there. Please avoid using all of my shampoo and I swear to god if you make a mess, you’re cleaning it up. Also, don’t judge the number of shaving razors I have in there. One day I will need to use them.”

Derek huffed and brushed by. Stiles went shock still for a moment and didn’t move until he heard the bathroom door closing, only then melting in on himself like butter.

He had not signed up for any of this.

 When he heard the sound of running water, Stiles started toward his dad’s room. He supposed it would be pretty funny if he tried to make Derek wear his own clothes again, but the man might rip his throat out if he tried that. And Stiles liked having a throat, thank you very much.

He fumbled around his dad’s closet for longer than was probably necessary, but the last thing Stiles wanted was Derek dressed up like his dad. Because that would make him question just about every single sexual fantasy he’d ever had involving the werewolf.

Not that he’d ever had any. Ever.

Stiles eventually decided on a pair of sweats and a Beacon Hills Sheriff’s Station t-shirt, because his dad never really wore loungewear unless it was a weekend off. And Stiles could probably burn both of these after Derek wore them just in case.

Derek didn’t shower for very long but Stiles still nearly had a heart attack when the man opened the door wearing nothing but a towel. That wasn’t much better than being naked.

“Okay,” Stiles squeaked, shoving the clothes forward. “Please, put those on. Like, soon. Like, now.”

“That’s the plan, Stiles.”

“Right. I’ll be downstairs then! Definitely not sticking my face underneath cold water or anything. You just… get dressed now!”

Derek raised an eyebrow, but he looked a little amused. Stiles blundered back with a litany of curses on his tongue and all but stumbled down the stairs.

He had never signed up for this.

It was early enough in the morning that Stiles was pretty sure none of his neighbors were up. He hoped, at least, because if his dad got a call about there being a naked man in his backyard and came home to see Derek, Stiles was pretty sure he would be grounded for life.

He also knew his dad had stocked up on wolfsbane bullets. And that wouldn’t end well for anyone.

By the time he heard footsteps on the stairs, Stiles had already started making breakfast. Not that he wanted to keep Derek around any longer than necessary but… well, he had questions. And he didn’t think Derek was going to spill information any other way.

The man didn’t look very impressed as he entered the kitchen. And Stiles would never admit out loud that the Sherrif’s station t-shirt did look good on the man.

He’d never admit that. Ever.

And if Derek ever brought those clothes back, Stiles was so burning them before his dad could wear them again.

 “Stiles, what are you doing?”

“Uh, making breakfast?”

“Why.”

“Because,” Stiles said, adding cheese to the eggs. “Sometimes people need to eat food, Sourwolf. Now, I know you live on protein powder and pushups, but I am a growing boy. And I need to consume three meals a day plus snacks if I want to keep living.”

“So why did you set out two plates?”

Stiles paused with the spatula still in the eggs. He glanced at the man and then shrugged, hoping his face wasn’t as red as it felt. “Sometimes big bad Alpha werewolves need to eat food too. You know, actual food.”

Derek looked at him with narrowed eyes. But then he sighed and sat down across the counter, and Stiles considered that as a win.

“So,” Stiles said, spooning some eggs onto one of the plates and pushing it over. “Want to tell me why you were naked in my backyard on this fine Saturday morning?”

Derek went red all the way to the tips of his ears. He glared down at the eggs as if they had personally offended him. “No.”

“Come on, dude,” Stiles said. “It’s not every day that I get a naked werewolf on my back lawn.”

The man gave him a venomous glare. Stiles only grinned.

“Throw a guy a bone?”

“Stiles, I’m going rip your throat out.”

“Heard that one before. So, do you normally go running around the town naked when it’s only a… half moon? Crescent moon? I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure we still have a few more weeks until it’s full, dude.”

Derek shoved himself up and Stiles stumbled back. But in a split second, it became clear that Derek was going to make a run for it, not do anything violent. Stiles moved around the counter and caught Derek’s arm before he could leave.

“Okay, okay, okay, I’m sorry. Derek, don’t go, I’m sorry.”

The man looked at him darkly. But he didn’t yank away so Stiles supposed that was something. Carefully, he guided Derek back over to the stool and then moved around the counter again, flipping the stovetop off. 

“I’m just, curious, dude. Is something wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong.”

“Do you remember how you ended up, uh, out there?”

Derek didn’t answer for a long moment. But just when Stiles didn’t think he was going to get an answer, the man sighed. “I can’t control it yet.”

“... Control what?”

“The full shift.”

Stiles blinked at him. Then he leaned forward and searched Derek’s face, trying to make sure the man across him was really the grumpy-growly werewolf he knew so well. “Full what now?”

“The full shift.”

“Like, complete wolf?”

“Yes, Stiles.”

“Dude!” Stiles shouted. Derek winced and he bit down on his lip, quickly lowering his voice. “Dude. I didn’t know you could do that.”

“It’s new.”

“How new?”

“A few months.”

“And you didn’t tell any of us?” Stiles said. “What about Scott? What about the pups? Dude, do they even realize you get furry some nights?”

Derek glared at him. Stiles chuckled nervously.

“So you’re having trouble.”

“Yes.”

“And you ended up in my backyard because…”

Derek’s brows furrowed and his grimace deepened. Stiles tilted his head as he searched the man’s face.

“Derek, has this happened before?”

“Once or twice.”

“Why?”

“Because,” the man said, and it looked visibly painful for him to be getting the words out. “Because as a wolf, I gravitate toward my anchor and if I can’t control it—”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Stiles said. “What about your anchor?”

Derek growled lowly but didn’t say anything else. A slow grin crept across Stiles’s face anyway.

“Derek, is this puny human your anchor?”

“Shut up, Stiles.”

“Hey,” Stiles said because the man looked visibly conflicted. “You know that’s okay, right? I mean, I don’t mind being the thing that tethers your big bad grumpy ass to this good green earth. I mean, I have seen it bare now and it’s very fine… I’m going to stop talking now.”

Derek searched his face quietly. Stiles licked his lips and shrugged.

“I bet I could help too. You know, control the change.”

“You’d do that?”

“Dude,” Stiles said. “I brought your naked wolfy ass inside and made you eggs. Of course, I’d do that.”

Derek’s expression softened a little. Stiles grinned.

“But I’m totally holding this over your head forever. And the next time you’re naked, it better not be because you got lost in my backyard and— well, I’m done talking again.”

A rare smile danced across the man’s lips. Stiles ducked his head and dug into his own breakfast. The rest of the morning was a quiet one and by the time Stiles was letting Derek out the front door (which was also a first for him) the man looked a lot less murderous. 

He hesitated on the front step and Stiles leaned against the doorway, raising a brow.

“Yes, Sourwolf?”

“Thank you, Stiles.”

Apparently, the entire morning was full of surprises. Stiles smiled. “Of course, dude. And you are welcome to come by my house naked anytime.”

Derek looked a little murderous again. But maybe amusedly so? Stiles grinned even wider.

“Though, might I suggest bringing flowers or maybe some chocolate next time? Could your wolfy self do that? Oh my god, dude, I’ll buy a frisbee for the time you come over and we can play fetch.”

“Just for that,” Derek said, turning away. “I am never coming back again.”

“But dude! Fetch!”

Derek ignored him, starting down the driveway. Stiles just laughed, hanging out of the doorway after him.

“Just don’t let my neighbors see! They might start assuming things.”

Stiles had also never been flipped off by Derek Hale before. He decided he might have to make a list of all the surprising things that had happened this morning.

Cause yeah, this was totally Stiles’s life now. 

Yay.

- -

I had so much fun with this one! Derek not having clothes after wolf form will forever be hilarious. Thank you for the prompt, my friend!

(if you enjoy my writing, consider supporting your underpaid student writer? You can also request a prompt if you’d like!). https://ko-fi.com/rh27writer

[spaceskam]

When He Sees Me (wing!fic)

ao3

Michael Guerin tried.

He really did, he would swear that up and down no matter how many times Isobel and Max told him not enough. The actual day to day act of hiding his wings wasn’t hard, surprisingly. All he had to do was avoid taking his shirt off around other people and also made sure he stretched them out when he could. If he did that, he could keep them tucked neatly into his back.

Truly it was Max who had the problem. He’s the one whose wings get trigger happy every time Liz Ortecho looks in his direction. The fact that Isobel and Max were standing over him, scolding him, because he’d been the one to fuck up was actually insane.

Yet, he couldn’t stop smiling.

“Will you stop looking so proud?” Isobel hissed.

On the couch at the other side of the room in the dark cabin, Alex Manes was curled up in all black. A dark, furry blanket was draped over him and he was breathing deep and slow. It had Michael reeling, just looking at him. He knew it was wrong when he let Alex see the scars, but he couldn’t help it. They’d been kissing and Alex felt the deformed skin of his back. He looked so concerned and Michael didn’t know how to assure him without showing him. He was about three seconds away from letting Alex see his wings in all their glory when Isobel and Max came in and she’d gotten in his mind to make him sleep.

“We can trust him,” Michael said softly. He knew they could. Alex was an outsider‒he’d get it. It wasn’t until after he replayed that moment of being rudely interrupted when Alex was kissing over the entrance/exit wounds that he realized he hadn’t told them where he was. “Wait, how are you here?”

“What do you mean how are we here?” Isobel asked.

“We’re at Sheriff Valenti’s hunting. I sure as hell didn’t tell you I was coming to put my DNA all over everything in the Sherrif’s cabin,” Michael said. Isobel wrinkled her nose, tilting her head in disgust. He didn’t clear up his wording.

They stared at each other for a moment before Max cracked.

“We followed you,” he admitted and Michael pursed his lips.

“Because we know you’re dangerously close to telling Alex fucking Manes!”

Isobel’s voice was loud enough that Alex stirred. They all froze, watching him as he let out a short high pitched whine as he curled up tighter. Michael’s whole body was tense with adoration. He really wished Max and Isobel would leave so they could be alone again. He liked being alone with Alex. He wanted him to know the truth about it all so that he could be alone with him and have his wings free all at the same time.

“You cannot tell him,” Max said once they decided Alex wasn’t waking up, “If I can’t tell Liz, then‒”

“It’s not the same! Liz isn’t your girlfriend,” Michael argued, “Alex is my… my…”

“Girlfriend?”

All three aliens turned to look at the couch to where Alex was lifting his bedhead, cheeks stained red and his eyes unfocused. Michael breathed slow. God, he was a beauty.

“No,” Michael answered a little too playfully when his siblings were right there, “We… We’re…”

“Oh my God, this is not the time,” Isobel groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“You’re right, it’s not. Because none of your trust me and I don’t know why because I haven’t done anything to make you not trust me,” Alex said, sitting up further. Michael could feel his wings pulsating at his back in time with his heart. He couldn’t read Alex’s face. It was slightly terrifying. “So, what’s going on?”

From a young age, they’d learned the best way to keep their secret was to never actually say the words. The A-word and the W-word were off-limits if anyone could even possibly hear them. They were always referred to as ‘the secret’. That way, if anyone overheard, they could think it was anything. They could be prolific bank robbers for all they knew. Which left them with a choice in this moment.

They could either tell Alex the truth or they could lie.

“We’re 30-year-old Russian scam artists who committed arson at our first home when they started picking up on what was really happening, that’s why we have scars,” Isobel answered like she had practiced it, a Russian accent slipping through her so naturally that Michael got confused for a moment. Alex made a face that seemed to accent his smudged eyeliner and his nose ring glimmered in the moonlight. His wings pressed harder against his skin.

“I’ve known you for ten years, Isobel,” Alex said, “I know that’s not true. I know you’ve grown.”

They all fell silent again. Alex eventually met Michael’s eyes, a conversation happening between them that he wasn’t completely aware of. But it seemed to settle something in Alex because he nodded and looked to Max and Isobel.

“Look, you guys don’t have to tell me. If you don’t trust me, that’s fine, I don’t really care,” Alex said and Michael had to assume it’s because Alex had his own secrets, “But you guys followed us and broke into Jim’s cabin and‒”

“So did you!” Max argued. Michael could see the lumps of where his wings were already coming out to play. Sometimes he felt bad for Max. He couldn’t have any strong feelings without risking exposing them all. Sure, Alex was trustworthy, but most people weren’t.

They’d seen ET. They know what happens when aliens get discovered. Much less ones with wings.

Michael remembered the first time he went to a museum that had a reconstruction of some prehistoric animal’s wings that looked too similar to his own just tacked up on display. He’d almost had a panic attack at thinking they might cut his off to put on display one day.

He was pulled back to reality with Alex’s demeaning, sarcastic smile. He loved that smile.

“We didn’t break in, Jim knows we’re here,” Alex said, shaking his head as he finally tossed the blanket off his thighs, “I wanted one night where I didn’t have to be scared to touch my boyfriend.” Michael’s entire face lit up. “But clearly we will never be granted alone time.”

“You turned 17 like last week, you don’t need alone time,” Isobel said and all three boys looked at her.

“You sound like Mom,” Max whispered as if he didn’t want to undermine her. She waved him off, turning to Michael.

“C’mon Michael, let’s go home.”

Home, she said. Michael didn’t have one of those. He slept in his truck when he wasn’t sleeping on the floor of Max’s room. He’d tried to sleep in the shed at Alex’s, but it made him far too anxious to even close his eyes to get some rest knowing that his dad could walk in at any time. How disastrous would that have been?

Michael didn’t know where she intended him to go. Why the hell would he leave a cozy cabin where his boyfriend‒that’s the word Alex had used so it must be okay‒was? He wanted to stay here and he had no better option. This was the best option.

“No, I’m staying with Alex,” Michael argued. She looked almost betrayed.

“Look,” Alex said again, his voice firm and grounded and far more adult than the 17-year-old body it came out of, “I understand you don’t trust me. While I don’t understand what’s so serious that you’d break into a Sheriff’s house, I do get that it must be extremely important. I’m not going to betray you, though, and I’m definitely not going to betray Michael. He doesn’t have to tell me anything. But let him stay.”

“If he stays, you’ll know!” Isobel snapped. Michael couldn’t deny that. Every time Alex touched him, his wings would start pressing and wanting to come out. It was like they were jealous of the rest of him and wanted to be touched by Alex too. If they did what Michael was pretty sure they were going to do, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to control himself.

Alex looked between them and Michael chewed on his lip. He trusted Alex and he trusted Alex not to tell. They had grown extremely close and they had told each other things they’d never told anyone else. They’d kissed and touched and Alex had kissed the wing scars on his back without any question. No matter what horror story Michael told him, he’d never looked scared of him. He had nothing but trust for Alex. Well, he had a couple more feelings for him, but that was for a different time.

“Maybe that’s a chance you’ll just have to take,” Alex said, still sounding wise beyond his years. He did that a lot. It made Michael feel like he was in the presence of someone really important. He was.

Isobel glared at him for a moment before turning around completely, facing her two brothers. Max just looked like he gave up caring if Alex knew or not and Michael had a hunch that was because he felt like this was a perfect excuse to tell Liz. He had it in his mind that he needed to tell whoever he dated before he dated them that he was an alien with leathery, white wings that had a 6-foot wingspan that may pop out at any moment. Michael envied him sometimes, his were so pretty and picturesque. Angelic, almost. Michael’s were larger with visible veins and colored almost black, spanning damn near 10 feet last time he measured. It made him feel villainous in comparison.

He didn’t want to get started on the red beauties that were Isobel’s wings.

“Michael,” she said, looking at him like this was her last effort, “Do you really trust him?” Michael nodded. She turned back to Isobel.

“Whatever you find out… I want you to know that I’m not afraid to melt your brain if you even consider sharing,” she said, giving him that distinctly Isobel smile before grabbing Max by the arm and stomping out the door. It was way past curfew for them, that had to be the only reason it was so easy to get rid of her.

But that left Michael and Alex alone.

“Boyfriend, huh?” Michael asked. Alex rolled his eyes, standing up and walking closer to him. Michael was sitting on the edge of the dining table and was still shirtless from before they were interrupted.

“Your friends just busted in here, caused a huge scene, and I took a nap, which I have questions about, but then made it very clear you have some massive secret that you’re keeping from the world, and you want to talk about us being boyfriends?” Alex asked, stepping closer and between his thighs. Michael liked that he didn’t even have to ask to get that close.

“Yes,” Michael answered honestly. Alex smiled easily, leaning his forehead against Michael’s and letting his hands slide up his chest, over his shoulders, and down his back. Michael wondered if he could feel the way his wings were eager to unfold and, by the way he paused over them momentarily, he thought he probably could. “You’re not scared of me, are you?”

“No,” Alex said, shaking his head, “I don’t think there’s anything that you could do that could scare me.”

“Really?” Michael asked, feeling the tips push harder. He assumed if he had a mirror, he probably looked like he was growing a hunch. That’s what Max looked like, at least. They still didn’t know exactly where the wings came from or went‒there was no way he could house 10-feet of flesh and bone just casually in his shoulder blades‒but there wasn’t really a way to find out. It was easier to just let it happen.

“Mmm,” Alex hummed, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to his lips as if they were just going to pick up where they left off before Isobel and Max arrived, “You’re my favorite person, Michael Guerin, and I support you completely. You could tell me you collect human heads and I would give you tips on what to put them in.” Those words really shouldn’t have been romantic or sexy, but Michael’s wings shuttered and tore open the scars like they did whenever Carol Jenkins gave him a handjob at the drive-in.

“That’s a little fucked up,” Michael whispered haphazardly into his mouth. Alex smirked, hands traveling to Michael’s jeans before he slid his tongue over Michael’s lips. That was a lot. His wings pushed out a little further.

“I’m a little fucked up.”

Michael did his best to pull his wings back into him. He didn’t need to open his eyes to know that, if he let them go, he’d probably break something. But Alex was palming methodically over the bulge in his jeans and kissing him like the world might end and it was really hard to focus on anything else.

He didn’t understand. He didn’t understand how Alex didn’t interrogate him. He didn’t understand how Alex didn’t get offended by being lied to. He didn’t understand how a boy so stunningly beautiful just took that entire scene in stride and still wanted to sleep with Michael. Or maybe that was the plan, maybe he knew and he wanted to see. Maybe he knew exactly what he was doing.

“Wait, wait,” Michael said slowly, reluctantly grabbing his wrist. Alex opened his pretty eyes. “Why are you so okay when you know I’m keeping something from you?”

He wouldn’t be keeping it for long. They were already peeking out of his back and they were probably just out of view. Alex smiled, moving his hands to cup Michael’s cheeks.

“I knew you were keeping something from me the moment I met you. This isn’t that shocking that it’s something big. And maybe I’d be a little more put off if we were somewhere else, but…” Alex grinned again, that filthy little grin that had Micahel’s stomach tying in knots, “This is the only night we’ll get to be alone in the foreseeable future and you’re half-naked and I didn’t really learn anything new, so I would still like to take advantage of it.”

Oh. Okay. That made sense. A lot of sense, actually. Michael nodded, his head gravitating forward without much direction from his brain.

“We’ll talk about whatever it is later,” Alex added, letting them share a kiss, “I’m still a horny teenage boy and you’re still my really hot boyfriend, so this really comes first to me.”

It happened really fast and Michael almost cursed himself for it. All it took was Alex taking Michael’s bottom lip between his teeth for his wings to whip out completely, taking out a lamp and rattling some hanging pots.

Alex lurched back in shock, his eyes wide as he took in the sight before him. Michael felt his stomach drop. He’d always imagined the first time he showed Alex his wings to be something super elegant, similar to that scene in Twilight. He’d bring him out to the desert, tell him something slightly cryptic and romantic, and let them come out gradually and dramatically. He planned on background music.

Instead, there were just slamming pans and shattered glass and his wings had to bend to avoid bumping into the walls. It was easily the least sexy way he could've done that.

“Holy shit,” Alex cursed, eyes wide. Micahel waited for him to run‒he did still have that fear‒and held his eyes strong on him so he wouldn't feel ashamed when it happened. Instead, Alex walked closer again. “Can I touch them or do you not like that?”

He’d be lying if he said that didn’t catch him off guard.

“You can touch them,” Micahel said slowly. Alex didn’t hesitate, touching them the same way that he touched his chest and his face and his arms. It was surreal.

It got more surreal when Alex just went back to kissing him, not bothering to ask him any more questions. He assumed that would be for the ‘we’ll talk later’ part, but it was legitimately jarring to see him take another thing in stride like that. His wings in stride. He smiled against Alex’s lips. For the first time in his entire life, he felt free. Fully and completely free.

He wrapped his wings around Alex, engulfing him in the heat of it all. He let out a tiny little squeak.

“Oh,” Alex breathed, nudging their noses together, “I like this.”

He decided this was the best day of his life.

[wordsdrippinginink]

Could you do "It's three in the morning and I'm bored and you're the only one awake. Let's break into a gas station store." With either Marco/Ace or Ace/Sabo? If you're taking prompts that is. Thank you!~💖

Okay, so...I’m not going to apologize for it, but I looked at this while I was really tired and things smooshed together? So..?? And I already planned it all out, but I can redo it if you want? Just let me know?

Sabo tugs at his hair, trying to pay attention to the words swimming together on the page in front of him. He had a test on chapters six through nine in two days and it was like crawling over sandpaper trying to make it through a single page, let alone the hundred something he had to finish. He yawns, glancing up at the clock and biting his lip hard enough to draw blood at the sight of Ace outside his window.

Ace waves motioning for him to open the window, his eyes bright with mischief, “Hey.”

“It’s three in the morning, literally three in the morning,” Sabo demands as he opens the window for Ace. “Why are you climbing up the house? You know that my parents would pay someone to murder you if they see you on their property again.”

“It’s three in the morning,” Ace shoots back crawling into the room, sitting on the edge of the desk. “Come have fun with me.”

“Go bug Marco.”

“I can’t,” Ace whines. “He’s got a real job and you know it, he won’t come have fun with me, please?”

“I have to finish the book for English.”

Ace frowns and tilts his head, “You mean the one I set on fire a couple of weeks ago?”

“You’re going to fail English again.”

“The hell I will,” Ace says pouting at Sabo. “I looked it up on Sparknotes, I know enough to pass tests and bullshit my way through an essay, try me.”

Sabo sighs, “Fine, fine. What do you want to do?”

“Break into the gas station with me!”

Sabo stares at him blankly before sighing, “Let’s do it.”

“Yes!”

“Shut up,” Sabo hisses glancing at his bedroom door, locked and with a chair wedged under the doorknob just in case. “We have to be careful, if I get one more charge on my criminal record, they will murder me.”

Ace snorts, “You say that like we aren’t going to end up with more charges at some point. I wasn’t the one that said we should set fire to Arlong’s car, you were.”

“He was being a dick to Koala, she’s my best friend, I had to do something.”

“And landed us both in juvie for six months. I think that’s the only time that the old man hasn’t been pissed about me going to jail.”

“Hush you,” Sabo grins. “Alright, you said the gas station?”

“The one that Franky works at, the cameras are down. Plus he says that Robin has the morning shift, so if we don’t fuck shit up too much, she’ll even cover for us.”

“You do know how to sweet talk a guy into robbery,” Sabo says shaking his head. “Lead the way.”

Ace pouts, refusing to move, arms crossing over his chest, “All of this hard work so we can have some fun and you won’t even reward me?”

“You are so needy,” Sabo says rolling his eyes, kissing Ace quickly and patting his thigh. “Now, get out the window.”

“Fine,” Ace sighs. “But the romance is dead, I’m telling Marco that you don’t love us anymore.

“Maybe it’s just you,” Sabo teases following him out onto the roof and pulling the window to, so it would take a second glance to notice that he had left by it. “Maybe I’m still in love with Marco.”

“Mean,” Ace whines. “After I went through all the hard work of making sure that Luffy took a bath and was in bed before I left the house.”

“We both know he’s gone.”

“I did what I’m suppose to. Not my job to sit on him until he falls asleep, besides, I’m sure nothing too bad will happen.”

Sabo shakes his head jumping off the roof and waiting for Ace to shimmy down the same drain pipe he used to climb up, “You could go faster.”

“I want to have knees when I grow up,” Ace shoots back. “One of us has to be able to push your and Marco’s wheelchairs. And Koala’s. And Luffy’s. We know too many people who jump like that. I’m just being responsible.”

“I would never believe it.”

“Ass,” Ace mutters reaching the ground. “Come on, I brought the kit and left it in the alleyway. Hurry before one of your family’s security people catch us.”

Sabo snorts, following Ace quickly to the fence and scrambling over quickly and dropping to the ground, barely stopping before running off with a shared grin. The bag is right where Ace left it and they pass by his house on the way to the gas station, the front door carelessly left open.

“Luffy’s out,” Sabo says grinning as Ace groans. “You okay?”

“The old man is going to be back early in the morning, apparently he convinced his boss to give him time off. He already said if we weren’t both home when he got there, he would be upset. I’m going to beg Marco to sleep at his place.”

“Like Marco would say no.”

“He’s a real adult now,” Ace says making the same face that Sabo’s father had when he had gotten caught kissing Ace the first time. “You shouldn’t bother him, he’ll forget about you soon.”

“Who told you that?” Sabo asks concerned.

Ace shrugs, dropping Sabo’s hand and shoving his hands into his pockets and pretending he hadn’t said anything. Sabo frowns, but lets it drop for time being, making a note to remember to text Marco about the strangeness of the comment and how Ace had reacted.

“Here we are,” Ace says eyes wide with excitement. “I think the back door might be our best point of entrance?”

“Yeah, don’t want to get spotted,” Sabo agrees accepting the lockpicks that Ace hands him. “I get the lock?”

“It is technically Koala’s turn, but she’s not here.”

Sabo nods leading the way into the alleyway and heading for the door, leaving Ace to watch his back as he opened the lock. Sabo shakes his head as it easily opens, almost too easily if he didn’t know that this was how the lock always was.

“We’re in,” Sabo whispers shoving the door open. “Ace?”

“I’m here,” Ace says appearing right behind him, grinning excitedly. “Come on, let’s get what we want and... oh, no.”

Sabo twists to catch sight of whatever it was that Ace could see, before going absolutely still. Pulling along the road was a cop car, one that they knew quite well, belong to the Sherrif who had dragged them in for the incident with Arlong and several others.

“We might want to run, in a rather hurriedly matter away from here.” Ace hisses backing up slowly, hand on Sabo’s collar tugging him away. “Come on, we have to go.”

“I’m moving,” Sabo promises scrambling to his feet and following Ace through a series of alleyways and gasping for breath as they both came to a stop at the park. “How the hell?”

“Probably got told that the,” Ace gasps. “Cameras were out and wanted an eye on the building. That was close.”

“What was close?”

They both turn, Marco lounging on a bench a few feet away, his eyes close and his hand crossed over his chest.

“Nothing,” Ace answers.

“It wouldn’t have to do with the ten texts that I got about breaking into the gas station?” Marco adds. “Because I hear the Sheriff is keeping a car there all night.”

“We would never,” Sabo says feigning shock.

Marco laughs, “Then I suppose you don’t want to come with me to the one on sixth street? I hear the cameras are down and they didn’t warn the cops like the one by your house.”

“I love you,” Ace and Sabo say in unison, eyes bright.

“I love you too, now come on. I want to grab snacks and go home, I do have work tomorrow, after all.”

Ace throws himself forward dragging Marco to his feet, “Come on! I’m hungry!” He says dragging them both off. “Come on!”

Sabo glances at Marco, grinning, “Thanks for coming.”

“We better not get caught, Pops said he’s won’t bail us out until after your parents and Ace’s gramps get word. And I do want to got to work later.”

“Talk later,” Ace whines. “Why are you doing this?”

“Sorry,” They answer, exchanging looks and ignoring the pout that makes it way across Ace’s face before hurrying to walk beside him.

[hgfstreamchats]

Reynolds Human Memorial Stream

Today thenightetc Hello! Me Hello there! Blythe1 Hi all. Me Hello! Blythe1 I've not been by since last Christmas's stream; timezones, you know. Blythe1 It is good to see you again. Me Wonderful to have you back! And watching...this! thenightetc So this is one of the new episodes? Blythe1 Yes, uh I just have a blank screen here. Is that right? I don't really know how Rabbit works Me Hm. I've never heard of it doing that. Blythe1 Let me try a couple of things this end then. thenightetc Well! Starscreamapillar Greetings. Me Evening, Starscream. You just missed Henry Fondle! Starscreamapillar With a name like that, I cannot say I an sorry to have missed them.

Me He's an experience. Starscreamapillar I've experienced plenty of terrible things, I can live with missing out this time. Me The important thing is, you're experiencing this human's terrible, terrible shirt. Starscreamapillar So I am. Is this a movie about illegally transporting alcohol? thenightetc Uhuh. Starscreamapillar . . . Trucks and beer. Truly, high brow entertainment. FeralDog those are some high waisted pants thenightetc So is this a really extended flashback or is it after him being arrested? Starscreamapillar That is not an appropriate way to wake someone. FeralDog puppyyyyyy Me That dog looks exhausted with life. Starscreamapillar That dog looks poorly assembled. Blythe1 Ah, that worked. I am with you all finally. Sorry for mucking about KO Me Never apologize for mucking about! r That dog looks poorly assembled. Blythe1 Ah, that worked. I am with you all finally. Sorry for mucking about KO Me Never apologize for mucking about! Blythe1 Westbound, that is left? thenightetc Yeah. Blythe1 My sense of direction is not the greatest thenightetc Stealth 100 Blythe1 Well there goes the fourth wall, Burt flirting with the audience there Me He *did* flaunt his spike at the world, once. Starscreamapillar . . . . thenightetc Amazing FeralDog theres a reason you have a special license for forklifts thenightetc Is, uh. Is that how they're "paying" for the beer, too Me http://lic.me/uploaded_images/b/u/burt.jpg FeralDog not that he cares xD Me In memoriam. Oh, that didn't turn into a link...that just threw it up there. thenightetc It sure did! Me Well, there's a difference from livestream I didn't know about! Blythe1 It is wonderful Me What an educational evening. Blythe1 I always feel so sorry for people who get jilted at the altar. thenightetc I'm intrigued. FeralDog shotgun wedding? Starscreamapillar Ah, here are the complicating shenanigans. Blythe1 Okay, posse does suggest shotguns. FeralDog ominous sherriff Blythe1 The soundtrack makes me think this might be the baddie FeralDog no, it couldn't be Starscreamapillar Is he wearing an ascot? Blythe1 How much easier would movies be if characters could hear the soundtrack too thenightetc I already hope something bad happens to both of them. FeralDog the fuc Starscreamapillar The frag is this? Me He's covered with a very fine layer of grease. FeralDog the best grease, surely thenightetc Kinda want to go on wikipedia and see if he dies. Blythe1 Too few people know that as soon as law enforcement leaves, that is your cue to leggit quick Blythe1 disturbing thenightetc Yikes. thenightetc ....Nice. thenightetc HA Blythe1 catch of the day thenightetc whoooops Starscreamapillar Would it not be easier to fill the very back of the truck with cases of cola, and create a false manifest for a truckload of that, while hiding the illicit alcohol? thenightetc You'd think so, right? Blythe1 I feel they may have had more success arresting him if he hadn't gloated thenightetc Or even put the alcohol in cola cases. FeralDog depends on how thoroughly they search Blythe1 subtle thenightetc right? Starscreamapillar Bueford. T. Justice. Really? FeralDog hhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaa Blythe1 Imagine if he'd become a judge, then he'd be Justice Justice FeralDog wonder if he's related to a defense attorney with a big forehead thenightetc I kinda like this guy, though. 'Cause he's pissing off this asshole. 😃 Oh god, that face Me Surprise twist: Justice Justice McJustice isn't employed by law enforcement in any capacity. thenightetc It's all just an elaborate cosplay FeralDog larp gone too far Blythe1 Ooh, bridge jump! thenightetc Ohhhh my Starscreamapillar And then they died. Me Rest in whatever. Blythe1 Needs some Waylon Jennings thenightetc I'm amazed they got the lift FeralDog -slow clap for sherriffs- thenightetc I like her. thenightetc I wish he'd get shot. Blythe1 Sexism, homophobia, and now racism, we all knew it was coming. He's just a pile of cliched Southern Sheriff stereotypes Starscreamapillar He is wasting time he does not have. FeralDog now we just need Justice to meet a Catholic and flip out about it and we've got my friend's uncle xD thenightetc ... man that's cheap Me What are they made of, hair? Blythe1 It is the World's Most Professional Lawman /sarcasm thenightetc Oh my god. FeralDog what year was this movie? thenightetc "gosh, all that?" Me You know, I've eaten human food, and nothing about it warranted eating it like that. Blythe1 1977 Starscreamapillar . . . . FeralDog explains a lot thenightetc Ha, better for him not to have his car parked outside for the sherrif to see, anyway. Blythe1 is this the story of how she got decapitated? thenightetc Too bad THEY didn't. Starscreamapillar Pity. Blythe1 I love his ring he has on thenightetc ...Okay, THAT handle raises some questions. Starscreamapillar The thing to the floor. thenightetc I mean, I figured they were just doing a funeral, but..... Blythe1 picking up or dropping off? Starscreamapillar A am not an expert in automobiles, but tell me, does the 'thing' in fact go to the floor? FeralDog it can FeralDog not good for the car though thenightetc Of course, neither is that. Starscreamapillar That cannot be good for the suspension. Blythe1 These days we'd call that a terrorist attack, then a car invading a pitch was just wacky hijinks FeralDog this movie is full of CARnage Me I know the Trans Am's the star of the show and all, but the truck's not bad looking either. Blythe1 not even scratched the paintwork Starscreamapillar Trucks have been spoiled for me, by certain mechs. Blythe1 Like that picture KO posted? That kind of crazy thing? thenightetc Awww. thenightetc Oh my goodness Blythe1 I thought he changed channels? thenightetc You'd think? FeralDog tick turd he may bbe reprehensible but i like his insults Starscreamapillar I think that hanging people was still illegal, even back then. thenightetc HA Me All this for smuggling beer? thenightetc HAHAHAH Blythe1 Not even good beer, just coors FeralDog i think it's less the smuggling and more the he's too good and it makes the cops look bad Me ...That was hot. thenightetc It was. Blythe1 You think they'd have set the roadblock ahead of the turn, not after it Starscreamapillar Knockout, you're a vehicle. Is skidding on one's tires like that as uncomfortable as it sounds? Me Not uncomfortable enough to keep us from doing it. thenightetc And it doesn't even show any signs of having driven through various roadblocks, a chain, several mailboxes, a football stand... thenightetc That car has some kind of force field. PFF Starscreamapillar The car is the protagonist, ans therefore immune to damage until perhaps the very end. Blythe1 WTF! thenightetc Jesus. FeralDog whaaaaat HA I love the good witch immediately thenightetc Yesss. thenightetc high-fives her Blythe1 That dog is this movie's MVP! Me Yes, yes. You have very tight pants. FeralDog she wants to see if he's bald thenightetc Shush. FeralDog ah look at that relief! Me "Put it back on." Blythe1 Oh no, not Fred thenightetc Oh nooooo FeralDog the fuc thenightetc DEFEND THE DOG Starscreamapillar They do not have time for these dalliances. thenightetc Shiiiit FeralDog fred's the only character in this movie with any sense thenightetc but, Fred! he can't leave without Fred! okay, good Blythe1 Whew, Fred is fine. Everyone relax now 😃 thenightetc OH BOY FeralDog HHAHAHAHHA thenightetc HAHAHAHAHAH Blythe1 Do not show this movie to Arcee. Starscreamapillar Would she not be amused by the wanton violence and destruction? thenightetc heheheh FeralDog my young son wtf thenightetc Shoot him. You know you wanna. Me Just a fragile little boy of 44 years. thenightetc Shoot him in the dick and let him bleed out. Blythe1 At least pepper spray him thenightetc Just saying. Starscreamapillar That is not how to handle someone yelling at you. FeralDog it is in the 70s Blythe1 What, let them rant themselves out and leave to become someone else's problem? That is how I would do it. Starscreamapillar Then they think that yelling is the correct way to get what they want, regardless of circumstances. FeralDog YOU ARE DRIVING FeralDog HE IS DRIVING STOP Blythe1 But they then leave to do it to someone else who is not me Blythe1 Those 1970s sensibilities again Me *It. Is. Beer.* thenightetc Smooth. Starscreamapillar Bad beer. It is not worth all this.

eer.* thenightetc Smooth. Starscreamapillar Bad beer. It is not worth all this. FeralDog but t hey're dodging the sales/luxury taxes etc Blythe1 I guess Allied Van Lines really got their product placement money's worth there Me This song feels like it's been going on for years. Starscreamapillar It has. The song has always been playing. And it will play forever more. FeralDog i think the whole movie is just the music video for this huge song Me Agreed. thenightetc OH!!! Me His name is his equivalent of Starscream's Cliffjumper thing. Starscreamapillar ... Cliffjumper thing? Blythe1 Quick, protect the beer from a small traffic ticket Me Our Starscream. Killed an Autobot, brought it up at every possible opportunity. FeralDog is it actually the beer listed, or did they put homebrew in the bottles? Starscreamapillar I see. Well, sort of, since killing -a- Autobot is not really worth of mention, unless it is one of the Elites. Me This one couldn't have been further from elite. Blythe1 Were the Elites all that elite? Smokescreen was an Elite... Starscreamapillar Then I certainly see the resemblance to Mr. Justice's crowing his name constantly. Blythe1 That looks like an OLD helicopter even by 1970s standards FeralDog well if you're far enough out you're getting military leftovers thenightetc Whatever just fell out of that car, I'm sure it's something it's not supposed to do without FeralDog still happens today, less funded departments get better one's leftovers or military Blythe1 Well they didn't until you blurted his name out over the public radio Me I wish Prime were still around to take this movie in. Big rigs and lawlessness...the look on his face would be priceless. Starscreamapillar I am fairly certain my local Prime has caused more road accidents than are in this movie. Blythe1 And maybe bring in Prowl, to see the highstandards of law enforcement at work thenightetc The highest. Me Beautiful. FeralDog for Me Just look at all the humans he saved from the horrid fate of having to settle for quality beer. FeralDog clam chowder Blythe1 chowder, that is thick soup? thenightetc I think they just want to scam him out of having to pay. FeralDog yes thenightetc *snicker* Blythe1 Is the sequel them getting the soup then? thenightetc eheheheheh. FeralDog hhhhhhhhhhhhaa Starscreamapillar Well, that was nonsense. And the song plays on. FeralDog leave him sherriff, he might learn independence FeralDog or die either works thenightetc Seems a bit foolish to let him see them and their new car, but hey. Me Does anyone know if the sequels are any good? And by good, I mean funny. Starscreamapillar I have no idea. thenightetc Never seen them, I'm afraid. This was the first time I'd seen *this* one. Me Shall we give the sequel a try? Starscreamapillar I think so. thenightetc Yes! Starscreamapillar I want to see more cares destroyed. Me Agreed! thenightetc "SMokey and the Little Boy by US Dept Of Agriculture"? Me Assuming I can find it. thenightetc Goodness, doctor, I hope you're over 18. Blythe1 Those putlocker ad popups are always annoying. Me My virgin optics! Me The description sounds terrible. I'm already glad we're watching this. thenightetc Well, you know how sequels are. Starscreamapillar We cannot have too much quality viewing. thenightetc Oh my god, that's really his name? FeralDog wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhat thenightetc Uh FeralDog this is a great intro Blythe1 Still not the worst political campaign I've ever seen Me What a quality movie. Hah! FeralDog agent orange??? Starscreamapillar Agent Orange. FeralDog is that nascar with semis thenightetc ...Maybe? Blythe1 I want to try this sport Starscreamapillar How boring would that be to watch. FeralDog my god that is bringing it clear back to its roots (before it went 'legit' as a sport NASCAR was for bootleggers to show off their skills) thenightetc Oh, huh! Me Interesting! Starscreamapillar Skillful use of grainy stock footage to get around needing to crash a truck of their own. thenightetc Those are some loud suits. FeralDog they almsot remind me of Gideon Gleeful thenightetc ...Oh god, you're right. FeralDog uh Me Oh bolts. thenightetc Gosh, are you SURE you don't want to stop the movie and play the titty game? Starscreamapillar Nothing like hostage advertising. Blythe1 Does that ever work, do you think? Starscreamapillar It must, or they wouldn't waste the time on it. Me "Good suggestion! Goodbye, movie!" Starscreamapillar Not even drinking the terrible Coors he was running. Me He hasn't sunk *that* low. Starscreamapillar Who wears embroidered rose jackets? Me Oh, he's dead. Blythe1 Are we Weekending at Bernies this one? Me I would kill to see that. Starscreamapillar Indeed, that would be very amusing. thenightetc He's already dead. Are those ones Starscreamapillar Turns out they are all ones. Starscreamapillar Why did he give the extremely drunk man the money? Blythe1 Oh that relationship they built up over a long afternoon of being pursued by the cops didn't work out, who knew? Me Hah! Blythe1 Oh that relationship they built up over a long afternoon of being pursued by the cops didn't work out, who knew? Me Hah! Starscreamapillar . . . . Sure it was. thenightetc ...Can't believe she's marrying him after all. I mean, look who she'll have for a father-in-law thenightetc Or maybe she's not SHe doesn't exactly look happy to be there Oh my god Blythe1 Is he wearing an Iron Cross Klan medallion there? thenightetc Oh my god thenightetc Oh my god FeralDog wwwwwhaaaaaaat thenightetc .......... Blythe1 Well that escalated quickly Starscreamapillar I feel like I am stuck in a horrible time loop. FeralDog wait she should be marrying him for a controllable fool. just wait for father in law to die thenightetc Aren't they on a time limit? Starscreamapillar Of course they are. thenightetc It's been a day? At this rate he could just go by himself and not speed. Blythe1 Guys, literally nobody cares about your love lives. Just get in the cars and start crashing into things Starscreamapillar How is her showing up supposed to make things better? Me Doesn't everyone want to see their favorite charming, attractive becoming characters tragic and dirty? Starscreamapillar Where did his hat go? thenightetc ...... Blythe1 I assume there are car chases in this? thenightetc This sure is a lot of time they're wasting Has the time limit not started yet? Blythe1 Or is it a comedy about him getting healthy at some sort o f spa? Starscreamapillar Why does he have to even be in shape to drive the car? FeralDog we don't need to see him crawl out of the hole just show him gettin in gear Starscreamapillar . . . . Blythe1 Nope Starscreamapillar No. FeralDog how long did this take? Starscreamapillar Too long. thenightetc Apparently at least several days Of however much time they had Me By the Allspark, they've so painstakingly extracted literally everything that made the original fun. Starscreamapillar Truly, it is the essence of a sequel. Blythe1 Why did they even need him? If they had enough time to sober him up and then drive down to Florida at a leisurely pace, then they had enough time to not need him anyway. Starscreamapillar Because they could not sell the movie without the promise of Burt Reynolds. Me We all have. Blythe1 lol thenightetc well Blythe1 If he is so famous now, how did he not end up in jail after the last movie? thenightetc I guess it's a very specific level of famous. Starscreamapillar Apparently in this reality they have to actively catch you in the act to arrest you. thenightetc So THIS is why they'll be on the run this time. Starscreamapillar I hope the crate is full of exotic flowers, or something equally nonsensical. thenightetc They didn't tell him what they'd be transporting, huh. Blythe1 If they are supposed to be in Miami, why are they all wearing warm clothing? Starscreamapillar . . . . Me How very zany. thenightetc Stealth 0. Blythe1 This script was written via madlibs, right? thenightetc That sounds like a problem for the other guys. ...Huh. Blythe1 I guess we've answered the question of whether the sequels are any good... thenightetc So get him to use all his bullets. FeralDog 4 out a 6 thenightetc HA Me Apparently, that elephant's 60 years old and living in the "worst zoo for elephants." So there's that. thenightetc Well, that's cheerful. Blythe1 I assume these were famous sportsball players of the day? thenightetc Wouldn't it have been faster to just keep going? thenightetc Well, maybe not Blythe1 Well that is handy Starscreamapillar How are they feeding this elephant? Unless they want to deliver it dead. thenightetc I guess they're just not going to feed it for a few days?? Me And warm, and bloated. Me Of course, a vet is what she needs. Not food or water or anything. FeralDog mob doctor? thenightetc "check out my sick elephant" Starscreamapillar . . . . I feel like this doctor would get along well with Mudflap and Skids. Blythe1 Oh, now. He's bad, but not that bad. Starscreamapillar Are you certain about that? thenightetc Oh no Oh no, he's going to join them, isn' the FeralDog i wouldn't want that doc anywhere near me Blythe1 That is the 2nd time he's mentioned being a gynaecologist, I'm guessing the twist is the elephant turns out to be pregnant. thenightetc Can't wait to see the miracle of elephant birth again! FeralDog just a normal day in florida, if gas station guy is any clue thenightetc ...well, THIS is safe Blythe1 I'm not sure if this is crueller to the elephant, or the audience? Me This is a nightmare. FeralDog pfft thenightetc poor guy FeralDog ahahahhahaha Starscreamapillar . . . . Even the slapstick is flaccid. thenightetc hahahaha Blythe1 Okay, it is four AM here, so I gotta go get at least an hour's sleep. It is a shame I can't stick around and see if this movie has a joke in it at some point 😃 thenightetc Oh my god. FeralDog this is a bad idea Blythe1 Seriously, I gotta go get some sleep.. This has been fun catching up with all of you again, goodnight now. Starscreamapillar Rest well. thenightetc Night! Me Good night! Thank you for joining us in this mess! Me Stop talking. thenightetc The stirrup. Starscreamapillar They still have not fed it. thenightetc ...Oh my god. The mural on the truck is some guys getting held up by a bandit THAT'S subtle Starscreamapillar It is the same mural as the first movie's truck. thenightetc I know! I just didn't notice it before thenightetc Do they have time for this Starscreamapillar In a hurry? Might as well take a very long break to harass an elephant, and flirt painfully. thenightetc Welp, Blythe was right Me You're going to have a dead baby elephant if you don't feed it. FeralDog aiehgkdl thenightetc ....... oh jeez FeralDog let the elephant stay outside a while, she'll eat some trees or something and be fine Me "I'll let you touch me in the warm places if you don't hurt the elephant anymore than you already have." thenightetc Are they trying to imply the elephant wants to......... 😕 Starscreamapillar Yes they are. Me ... thenightetc And the song going "spend the night in charlotte" Me NO. thenightetc I mean.... really........ thenightetc REALLY. FeralDog bandit, just wait till she's dropped off to go after Frog. humor the elephant. thenightetc ...Why did it explode Starscreamapillar It always explodes. Starscreamapillar Was that supposed to be a joke? thenightetc *facepalm* oh my god you have time for this shit? Starscreamapillar 'You come out here and love me' FeralDog channeling gala Fluttershy here Me You've done nothing but hurt this elephant. thenightetc oh god. FeralDog whh Starscreamapillar Sure, leave the elephant to some kid you just found. Me Definitely the actions of someone who cares about children and elephants. thenightetc Uh oh. Starscreamapillar Why did the movie even bother with a time limit when they are just going to ignore it? thenightetc A mystery indeed. FeralDog well my oven dinged. ttyl possibly thenightetc Have fun! thenightetc This is just.... sad. thenightetc uh Uh Me This is a dumpster fire. Starscreamapillar And not even an entertaining dumpster fire. thenightetc That can't be comfortable for her Me This is an hour and forty minutes of a drunk abusing an elephant. thenightetc How did he not see them there Was it because they were out of frame. Starscreamapillar . . . . Skids and Mudflap would fit right into this mess. thenightetc Is he a Mountie thenightetc Wow, he even has a, uh moustache. what a uh interesting.... statement..... Starscreamapillar Why did they even bother bringing the Bandit? No one is after the stolen elephant. He's just useless. Starscreamapillar And that is not the correct way to cut someone off. thenightetc Why are the others agreeing to this I mean.... half of them are from CANADA, apparently? Starscreamapillar They have no jurisdiction in Texas? thenightetc Definitely not. thenightetc Maybe they're retired and stole the cars. Starscreamapillar . . . . And they came from where? And why? thenightetc Oh, you know truckers! They just have endless time to screw around fighting cops They're not on right schedules or anything. Starscreamapillar Everyone is going to jail. And the morgue. thenightetc *tight schedules Starscreamapillar Dead. thenightetc "Luckily, nobody died!" thenightetc How, uh, how long is left? Starscreamapillar Forever. Starscreamapillar No. Me Ten minutes. Starscreamapillar That is not how that works. thenightetc I feel like there's no way that would work Especially not with the elephant Me For Pit's sake, even *I* know how elephants give birth. thenightetc You sure do! (You're welcome.) Starscreamapillar I am glad that I do not know the mechanics. Me It's...torrential. thenightetc I'm sure I could find the video again 😃 Kidding. I'm kidding. Starscreamapillar I am not asking for specifics. thenightetc oh come on thenightetc Elephants don't have the right equipment to cry out of sadness, btw. That's just eye lubrication, basically. It runs out of their eyes all the time. Starscreamapillar I was aware of that. Me They're going to take his thumbs. thenightetc I'm just saying. thenightetc He's spent a lot of the money on bribes already ...Is the trans am... towing the elephant?? Me A beautiful two year old baby. thenightetc Wow, they really DID take a long time about this. Starscreamapillar They stole that elephant from the Texas governor. Me As you do. thenightetc What were they going to do, deliver it? thenightetc ..... Me "Young black boy" Me Alright, we're done with that. But before we end the night... thenightetc That is quite a large delta in quality. Is this the elephant thenightetc (I know you've seen this one before, but https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ll5y2hZdCI ) Starscreamapillar If all dogs do go to heaven, why is there a dog hell to begin with? thenightetc It doesn't get a lot of business, admittedly. Me It's full of vacuum cleaners and strangers on the lawn. thenightetc awwwww Me And that, my friends, is the note we end the night on. Starscreamapillar Very well! Thank you for hosting another bemusing movie night. Me Thank you for making it memorable, as always! thenightetc First movie--entertaining. Second movie--entertaining in a different way. Thanks for hosing! Me Always a pleasure! Good night! Starscreamapillar Good night. thenightetc Good night!