#goddamn lookalikes out here

[imaginepostingonmain]

COWBOY JIMMY COWBOY JIMMY COWBOY JIMMY COWBOY JIMMY

"I'm not...the greatest fan'o horses. Cannae stand em, really. Feckin great beasties, tramplin' everywhere... naaaaee thank ye. I'll stick with jus' bein' Finance Jimmy fer now."

[nerdy-frog98]

Okay I’ve had several days to think about it, and I’m not upset about Eddie’s cheating storyline anymore.

Nobody asked, but HERE’S why.

Eddie is an incredibly traumatized character. The military experiences (+ his dead friends), losing his wife so suddenly & without closure, and a couple near death experiences will do that to you! Add that to parents trying to take his child away ON TOP OF feeling like he needs to give Christopher a mother at any and all costs…? Maybe a little bit of Catholic guilt sprinkled in there too.

Season 5 was not my favorite for a myriad of reasons, but one thing I did like about it was Eddie’s complete mental breakdown. It felt like a long time coming... BUT. His mental breakdown didn’t even really scratch the surface of his issues, and there are still a lot of things he needs to face before he can truly be at peace. One of those things is Shannon.

The effect that Shannon’s loss had on Eddie has, in my opinion, never been explored properly. We got a little of it in season 3 with the illegal fighting, and then hints of it again when he was with Ana, but it never felt like closure to me. It felt like season 6 tried to give him closure (through Marisol), but it wasn’t satisfying because it was more or less a duller version of what happened with Ana. “Moving on” for his sake, but with no real emotional repercussions. Maybe this is just a personal opinion, but his story has felt like a ticking time bomb to me since the moment he broke up with Ana. His breakdown in s5 wasn’t the real bomb though.

Now imagine being Eddie, a guy with a lot of unresolved guilt and feelings for a woman who died right in front of him. Imagine you see a woman with that dead wife’s exact face. I can honestly say I have no fucking clue what I would do in his position. What he did- erasing Marisol in his first conversation with this lookalike Kim, then later lying to Buck to meet up with Kim- is morally not okay. Sure. Would any of us act in a rational way though?

I’m not meaning to justify cheating, but I do genuinely believe this is one of the only ways that stubborn ass was going to figure out his issues in a way that might actually help him move on. He’s being delusional with Kim, and once the ball drops, I believe there’s a great big breakdown waiting for him on the other end.

People often accuse Eddie of being the most boring of the 118, and I hate that assessment so goddamn much. Eddie is probably one of theee most complex characters (besides Buck) in the entire show. He’s self-destructive, kind, loyal, patient and impatient- he’s a good father and a good friend, and he’s FLAWED. That is why I love him so much.

My initial disappointment with him partially stems from me wanting him to have a singular season of PEACE, which…I realized wasn’t possible without blowing up the bomb first (would’ve preferred to disarm the bomb but I’ll take what I can get).

[foreos]

The Muppets Present: The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals

based on @the-muppets-present. saw their rule list and felt inspired. might do the other hatchetfield shows later if i feel so inclined :)

i just felt like the story of “average office worker who hates musicals gets trapped in a musical” was just begging to be muppetified.

so, without further ado,

ted- guys i went through so many options for ted. it was immediately hard. eventually i decided on rizzo, because i feel like similarly to ted, he’s kind of an asshole that causes problems for himself and everyone around him. plus, the “kick my head!” scene is even funnier if ted is like. one foot tall.

bill- kermit. i think kermit can and should be a sad dad. bill is like the most earnest man in hatchetfield and the idea of kermit being deeply disappointed that his friend won’t help him reconnect with his estranged daughter because he hates musicals so much is so funny to me.

professor hidgens- gonzo. duh. camilla is alexa. gonzo is the most eccentric bitch in the cast and would 100% kill people to get his musical produced. imagine gonzo shouting “come on you bastard!” at the apocalypse. gonzo would get struck by lightning and climb out of a pile of his friends’ bodies. he just would.

charlotte- miss piggy. stay with me here. from a meta standpoint, i always find it funny when piggy plays the secondary female role in a muppet movie and gets annoyed about it in interviews. from a character standpoint, post-infection charlotte’s high energy would be great to see if it was performed by the one and only piggy. imagine miss piggy singing join us and die. imagine the beginning part. she just beats the shit out of rizzo. gonzo shoots her.

mr. davidson- fozzie. idk i just got a mental image of him putting the newspaper down like jeff blim does at the beginning of the song and then fucking. waggling his ears.

sam- this one was hard because i had to think of you tied up my heart and show me your hands. i eventually picked link hogthrob. sam’s a pig, link’s a pig, etc.

alice- janice. hear me out. it’s not just because she’s “the other girl muppet.” imagine if alice just looked at bill and went “whatever, man” and walked away. truthfully thinking more about watcher world than tgwdlm for this one.

paul- jon matteson. paul stays the same, babeyyy. i think it just adds another fucking layer to his panic because not only is everyone randomly singing around him, they’re fucking muppets. just imagine la dee dah dah day if he was surrounded by muppets. he’s just some guy in a weird situation, and just some guy he shall stay.*

emma- lauren lopez. so i am breaking the number one rule of muppetfication to keep emma the same, but there’s a method to my goddamn madness. the only person paul can relate to in hatchetfield is the one other human being. plus, again, imagine the end of inevitable with emma screaming and crying while surrounded by fucking muppets.

*so i lied. just some guy he shall not stay. when inevitable starts, you first hear paul’s voice. he’s singing, just like he does in the show. emma very quietly goes “paul?” the same way, too. but what’s different is you can’t see paul. the camera pans over.

paul is a muppet.

he’s one of the lookalike ones, like from the first two episodes of the show and the jason segel one from the 2011 muppet movie.

“paul, you’re scaring me” indeed.

[flowerbloom-arts]

Sorry if this is obvious but how did they retcon the moominpappa backstory? Do Hodgkins, Joxter, Muddler, and Fuzzy just straight up not exist?

Okay so like... let's start with the stuff the episodes actually tell us.

There's one episode where the Moomin family (Sniff, My and Snorkmaiden included) get invited to Aunt Jane's mansion, which is pretty cool to see tbh, we finally get to see what her living situation is (she doesn't even have a housekeeping staff, she's so goddamn lonely)

And in one scene the kids are cleaning a room and they happen upon a photo album, and the album features... a younger Moominpappa living with Aunt Jane at what appears to be a summer house....

Now, this is an odd discrepancy that goes unquestioned by the kids but it's not unreconcilable with Adventures of Moominpappa, maybe this is just one childhood summer Moominpappa deliberately left out of his story because it didn't contribute to his story and he doesn't like Jane. That's a minor enough piece of lore to make it make sense.

But then there's Return To Childhood, the episode with Wimsy.

After a mishap with the kids except Moomintroll mistaking Wimsy for an intruder, Wimsy and Moominpappa explain the history of their friendship to everyone, and what they say is uhhhh... (checks notes)

Moominpappa would constantly change schools in his childhood and then he and Wimsy were dormmates at the last school he went to.

...

Now that completely throws AoMP out the window.

We also have real tangible proof of this in the episode, Moominpappa and Wimsy try going on a little adventure together and they come across their old school, it even has the initials they carved on a tree and the same principal is still running the school (AND DOESN'T LOOK ANYTHING LIKE THE FILLYJONK PRINCIPAL).

And based on the kids that currently attend the school it seems that this is a an elementary/middle school?

(they're wearing costumes for a festival here)

And that's like. Woah. Holy crap??? Moominpappa like...... actually lied to us. ATLEAST about the majority of his life. And of course the kids don't question this because of Bad Writing BUT WE KNOW NOW.

Though, with all of this I'd have to backpedal and say that Edward the Booble as he was does in fact exist, there's an episode where the characters get Edward so they can use his tears to heal a mermaid tail, although he doesn't seem... quite as big as he was in AoMP (it could just be the animator's horrendous inability to be on model but this is beside the point)

The Ghost, is also real, we all saw him in the Dame Elaine episode didn't we. It's undeniably him, it has all the references we need without a shadow of a doubt despite the very different appearance between that episode and AoMP.

Allegedly he still lived on the island the Oshun Oxtra were on (but we could also argue that it wasn't necessarily that particular island, or it could mean that Moominpappa did in fact go to That island but the events didn't transpire the way MP said they did)

The fact Moominpappa is lying about his backstory could also explain his utter lack of familiarity with Mymblemamma despite his claims of having been friends with her in his youth (allegedly in the Japanese dub MP didn't actually say she was Little My's mother and that she was just another lookalike like the rest of the parents, but also allegedly in the Finnish dub he did say she was her mom, so which is it??) and we can't chalk it up to the show's lack of continuity because based on the Dame Elaine episode the show was perfectly capable of having continuity that adheres to MP's Memoirs even before they actually adapted it. (Both Dame Elaine and Moomin Builds a House were episodes before AoMP part 1)

And the most damning thing about this whole thing is that if you actually watch the AoMP episodes, Moominmamma explicitly had no way to call Moominpappa out on this, she explicitly doesn't know what his backstory was pre-meeting him. "But surely she'd point something out if she didn't know who the Oshun Oxtra was" WE DON'T KNOW IF SHE'D KNOW, SHE WAS LITERALLY OUT OF THE ROOM WHILE MOOMINPAPPA DESCRIBED THEIR MEETING, AND SHE OBVIOUSLY WASN'T HEARING WHAT MOOMINPAPPA WAS SAYING OR WHAT THE KIDS WERE TALKING ABOUT BECAUSE SHE WAS CONFUSED ABOUT THE KIDS STARING AT HER IN DISBELIEF.

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

MOOMINPAPPA IS JUST A BAD STORYTELLER AND I DON'T HAVE TO ACCEPT THE UTTER LACK OF CHARACTERIZATION AS REAL

IT'S ALL A LIE

JOXTER AND MUDDLER WERE PROBABLY OLD SCHOOLMATES FROM ONE OF HIS SCHOOLS AND THE REASON WHY THEY WERE LOOKALIKES AND PARENTS WERE BECAUSE HE DIDN'T ACTUALLY KNOW THAT THEY HAD KIDS

WOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

[smolcinnamonchipmunk]

Since the twisted tsumderland event is here, How do you think Syn would react to the tsums and Syn's tsum lookalike?

I feel like malleus would love Syn's little Tsum, its an an even smaller version of their already short self lmao

As you can tell by the whole Tsumderland event being present when the ask was sent and the actual current event NOT that, this took me a while to get to. I wanted to draw something for it but was too busy to make something for it then, and am still too busy now... soooo, writing haha

Syn would absolutely love everyone's Tsum and would want to hold/pat all of the others. Which would lead to probably a couple injuries from Tsums based on characters who don't really like that like Epel's and Riddle's

In contrast, they would be kind of swarmed by certain Tsums

Obviously Malleus's Tsum would be ABSOLUTELY possessive since the Tsums exaggerate the shit out of character personalities, and would constantly try to be perched on Syn at all times. Which definitely leads to Syn having to break up Tsum fights like I have to with my cats because they all get jealous of hanging out with me despite living in the same goddamn house

Leona's Tsum would definitely be found asleep anywhere on campus, but Grim doesn't appreciate it stealing his spot on the bed and Jack's Tsum takes to being a nearby guarddog when it isn’t crushing an appalling workout routine. Syn would try to avoid the Jade and Floyd Tsums because the Floyd one keeps trying to squeeze the shit out of their arm and the Jade one looks like it'll cut them in their sleep. The Azul one keeps popping up with tiny contracts in its round 'paws' and the Lilia one has jumpscared them more than the real Lilia because its fucking tiny. Kalim's Tsum is a sweetheart but Syn would constantly be returning it to Jamil or Kalim if they come across it because they don't want their pack of trailing Tsums to hurt it or for one of the other students to pick on it. Ace and Duece actually get along decently with their Tsums, who have no problem just vibing with the group mostly

As for Syn and their Tsum... they kind of hate each other, haha. Syn doesn't like this tiny version of themself because it definitely dials into their own self-disdain a lot, so they end up having to chase themself around campus a lot. You'd think the Syn Tsum would probably seek refuge with, like, Tsum Malleus or something but it tries so hard to isolate itself and Grims kind of the only one that can convince it out of hiding

Malleus delights in Tsum Syn though because, aside from being a smaller version of Syn, it also brings out more of their 'fiery' nature kind of stuff so he finds it amusing that the tiny creature doesn't seem to fear him or anyone else. Even if it still tries to avoid everyone, especially Floyd who definitely tried to eat it immediately. Malleus is jealous of Tsum Malleus though

[zephyrrhiesfyrian]

They've gotten so big now ;-;

Quattle and Hennifer; please note how goddamn massive Hennifer is. She's probably a rooster, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Jeff: ever thought about crime, Quattle?

Quattle: girl, you're gonna get kicked out if you keep this up

Snowflake tries to take a nap and Grub interrupts.

Grub: we can both fit

Snowflake: your butt has its own gravitational pull

Splash, a Bean-lookalike. She is also one of the fledglings

And on the topic of Bean-

She is being guarding by some siblings for some reason. She's fine, just sittin'.

Olive roosting on a cabinet :D

Nugget is very cute, but he is very useless (affectionate).

Nugget, Peanut, and Hennifer, lording over their kingdom like the majestic roosters they are.

Grubloaf.

Bean is cuddled by her sisters (and photobombed by Roostifer's iridescent butt)

Bean and Wave. Wave is so incredibly fluffy >v>

Jeff considers crimes from atop her perch.

Oh no, she's influencing Bean to do crime too (＃°Д°)

Indominus Rex, still looking very much like her ancestors

And now, what I'm sure you're all waiting for-

Morgoth the Destroyer cannot be contained by human means! She roams free!

She follows her mother to the food bag so she gets to eat by herself >v>

My sister said a day or so ago that she pulled up to the house and Morgy had already escaped the pen and come running towards her. Very cute and sweet, but like, girl. There are foxes out here. Please be careful.

Morgy was briefly put in chicken jail to prevent her from escaping the pen, but my sister didn't have the strength to keep her in there because she just looked so sad :C

She wants to be close to mother and the house! Here she is in the garden and being held <3

My sister plans to get her a small coop to keep in the garden and have her and a sister or two in there, closer to the house so she doesn't try to run off.

Morgy is truly the sweetest lil chimkin ever and we all love her <3

I visited the other day and was allowed the honor of petting her. Before Nugget came over and tried to eat my fingers, that is. Goddammit, Nugget.

[spextronaut]

Thoughts on this week’s episode of the Mandalorian:

Watching the recap at the start of the episode and VERY AGGRESSIVE REMINDER that Bo-Katan called Din “brother” when they first met please please god do not make them have a romance 😭

If any of y’all know Doctor Who,,, these starfish things look like fucked up Oods

Imperial Mandalorians???? What the fuck??

Why is there melodrama. Why are these aliens so fucking ugly

Once again that’s just earth when will we get some decent fuckin out of orbit planet designs

GROGU <3333 DIN <33333

begging for the pattern to continue from last season with the helmet removal increases pls let Din take his helmet off today

I love that Din is having his name used more it’s so fun

These walls are so white I am fucking BLIND

JACK BLACK???? JACK MOTHERFUCKING BLACK??? OF MARIO MOVIE FAME?!?!? WHY ARE YOU HERE???

Grogu my fucking beloved

I seriously can’t get over this I love his beard but fr why the fuck is Jack Black here

Grogu loves his pets omfg <33

Not the fucking Jerry Maguire reference I hate him <3

Still can’t get over the fact that Jack Black is canonically in Star Wars

Din once again being prejudiced against droids it’s really stupid lmao

A Kuill reference?? 2 seasons after he died?? Damn

hehehe Clone Wars reference

Din has another concussion that’s fantastic

We’re finally back to this being the Mando show with Bo Katan as a side character and I can’t even begin to tell y’all how happy that makes me

This place looks like it was inspired by Tokyo that’s really cool

Fuckin yEET

oooo the girls are fightinggg

what the fuck how do Droids drink

I love when he gets violent <3

… Droid race allegory?

The droids drink lube that is so fucking dumb

Droid morgue????

DARK SABER DIN!!!!!!! LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO

god he is so,,,, he’s hot I can’t be argued with on that

woww big surprise that the guy that was so obviously evil is evil

was that. was that a Keanu Reeves lookalike

I hate old people

Slay good job Bo Katan <3

BUG!!! BUG BALL!!!

GROGU HE IS SO FUCKING <33333

yay Jack Black is back

they get a key? for all that?

That’s a big fucking key what the hell

Grogu gets a knighthood and he didn’t even do anything I love that for him

THE WAVE 😭😭😭

Din this will be so simple just pull out the fuckin Darksaber

hehehe Bo Katan gets to be a badass that’s fun

Din fr you can stop this so easily just. Darksaber it’s not that hard

At least give him some popcorn if he’s just gonna watch goddamn

… kinky

Din. Beat his ass. Beat his fucking ass you deserve it

Din keep the fucking saber you know how it works

DIN. KEEP. THE. FUCKING. SABER.

Don’t let him give it away I’m gonna get so mad I know he doesn’t want it but HES SO HOT WITH IT THEYRE PLAYING HIS THEME AND EVERYTHING

Fuck this show. Fuck this show. Let him keep the saber. FUCK THIS SHOW I AM SO GODDAMN MAD RN

Can’t believe I was like oh this is the Mando show again bUT NO

HE DIDNT EVEN TAKE THE HELMET OFF I AM SO FUCKINGGG PISSED

Begging this to be a misdirection and the Darksaber will actually reject Bo Katan and force her to give it back to Din and that the last two episodes are good

Im so fucking mad at this episode i hate that fucking ending god fucking dammit Din deserves so much better, Pedro Pascal deserves so much better this is the show that truly got him into the spotlight and his character is being treated like shit and he doesn’t deserve it

I hate this episode but I had fun for the first 3/4 of it so I’m giving it a 6/10 overall it would’ve been much higher if Din didn’t give Bo Katan the fucking Darksaber

The worst part is that him desperately and easily giving away any semblance of power to Bo Katan fits his character it fits his character so well but that’s not how the last two seasons and TBoBF set up his arc and that’s why I’m so mad about it and hope it’s a misdirection

If it’s not a misdirection I honestly can’t say that I’ll come back for s4. I love this show and I love the characters but I would much rather live a life of pretending the fan fictions are canon than watch the show dig itself into a hole it can’t escape and ruin all the characters I love

And I don’t hate Bo Katan I like her and I like that they’re setting up her and Din not getting along very well anymore that’s good but i don’t think the way they’re treating her should be so prevalent considering the other things she’s in, she can have this arc in a different show or hell even her own show it doesn’t have to be in Mando

I’m gonna stick around until the season finishes but if it doesn’t get any better I’m not gonna come back for season 4 unless Tumblr says it’s absolutely amazing or some shit I just can’t take this disappointment anymore

Final comment: good episode when you ignore the ending, the ending was shit. Jack Black was the peak of the episode, but Grogu and Din (especially with the Darksaber!!) were also great and I am very much ignoring the end of the episode it’s not real if I don’t look at it

[mercswercs]

Gooh DAMN

Gottem!

That's twice in the same shoulder. Bastard's tough.

Got his number, though. Said I did. He eventually started trackin' the timing of my bait shots this evening, realized I musta been up high, and then did some pretty fancy shimmying up to the top bluffs.

I still managed to bait him into the Asterisk, but the damn thing didn't blow half it's charges and he got thrown through the goddamn wall with his arm all burnt to hell. Except then he's in my tunnels. I get nerves, it's why I wear a hulkin' ugly biomech lookalike of myself to get uglied-up on my behalf. And the Big Guy (the biomech) got his fair share of scratches! Luckily, he takes a low-caliber bullet like ballistic jelly does, and stunners don't touch me.

But! This guy was wounded! And also I guess it's been a while since I felt like I was gonna die because I did alright! Put a round in his shoulder (he insisted, I was gonna shoot his heart, but he insisted shoulder), knifed what mighta been a kidney or a very soft, very wet travel map, and he tried to fire an emp at me.

I don't know why he did that but it makes me paranoid that he somehow knows that I'm wearin' an ancient-alien skinsuit here, and maybe he thought that would short me out. It didn't, and I crushed his burnt hand with the nade in it. I tripped the breaker-box failsafe on my way out of that corridor and a breach charge blew the man back down the slope into the canyon floor; it also permanently fried his body-shield.

And I just tore off the rest of his burnt-arm at the shoulder with one of my custom .6969 cal snausage bullets. I also made a new hole in the canyon. And a rock slide. I want answers from him, but I also would prefer to just ice the prick and start digitizing all my loot into a Server Truck so I can get the hell outta this canyon. I don't gotta care about a motive if they can't find me anyway.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hug Me, Bring It In

A/N: As a sucker for hurt/comfort tropes I had to write out that scene of us comforting this unnamed Mark we find during our wormhole trip. That’s all <3

(ISWM 2 Spoilers)

..............

“Ouch--!! Goddamn...okay, where the hell did I get dropped off now?”

You tumbled onto the floor of a random bathroom, groaning a bit as you got to your feet.

Somehow you can never stick the landing; they didn’t get any easier to brace for. But at least you got a break from Lady chasing you to the ends of the multiverse. They were crazy enough to follow you through two timelines and a wormhole just to get that crystal from you.

Yeah, they were a USA agent, so you probably should have handed it over like any law-abiding universe inhabitant would. But they’ve given you reasons not to trust them--like threatening you and Mark with a gun when neither of you knew how to shutdown the massive wormhole.

You didn’t intend to mislead them into thinking you’re “evil” for refusing to surrender it. You recall that machine telling you to resolve the paradox.

When Lady ripped the bracelet from you, the crystal reappeared on your glove and glitched you out of the tunnel, confirming that only you could fix this.

It had to be you, and nobody else.

First, you had to find Mark so you can warn him not to use the warp core. But with every timeline you crossed, with every Mark lookalike you encountered..it only got more and more difficult.

You got thrown into either chaos or confusion. It was hell.

So you wondered what would happen in this universe.

Though after getting a bearing on your surroundings, you heard a noise outside the door, and you tensed for a moment. Then you heard it again.

It sounded like...someone crying?

You hesitantly opened the door in front of you, finding yourself in a seemingly normal modern house. Across the short hallway was Mark alone in a room, sitting on the bed with his back turned to you. This time around he was dressed like...a completely normal guy. White shirt and jeans. And he had headphones on, clearly unaware of your presence as he was listening to a song.

The only “odd” thing was that he was just crying nonstop, occasionally muffling his sobs with his hands.

As you entered the bedroom, you considered asking him about the warp core (and potentially break this universe)..but decided against that. Clearly he was upset and you couldn’t just interrogate him, even though this wasn’t your Mark and you were on an urgent mission.

‘Then again..I have all the time in the universe.’ You looked at the crystal. ‘If I can help at least one Mark I find..would it make any difference?’

It was worth a shot.

So you sighed softly and cleared your throat. “Hey. It's me."

Slowly, his sobs ceased for the moment as he looked over his shoulder to see you--his beloved captain--standing there with open arms. You figured a hug was the best thing you could offer to him right now. He got up from the bed, whimpering as he shuffled towards you with the saddest brown eyes you’ve ever seen on a man.

It was truly heart-melting. Even here, he’s still a damn puppy.

He stopped in front of you, lips trembling. As if he were waiting for your permission.

“It’s okay, you can cry. C’mere.” You made a beckoning gesture. That’s all it took for him to burst into tears as he latched onto you, his body shaking with every sob he let out.

You were slightly taken aback by his loud crying at first, but you just hushed him and patted his back, occasionally rubbing small circles instead.

This felt..unusually normal. You were worried this was some kind of trick, and something bizarre was gonna happen at any given moment.

Yet nothing did. You were just standing here, comforting your best friend from another universe as he sobbed into your shoulder. It was relieving, in a way. He probably didn’t realize how badly you needed this hug, too. So you took comfort in it as well.

“Can I..ask you something?” You eventually spoke as he appeared to be calming down, only for him to respond with a dry heave before more crying and incoherent babbling left him. It startled you for a second.

‘Okay, okay..bad idea. I can’t ask him about it. Maybe the next one I meet...’

Sighing, you stroked the back of his head. “I’m sorry I’m taking forever, Mark.” You muttered, not to him in particular. “I promise I’ll find you and we’ll fix this together. Just hang on a little bit longer for me, okay?”

Even though he didn’t understand what you were talking about, you could feel him nod into your neck, clinging to you tighter as the sobs slowed enough for him to speak one thing clearly: "Th-Thank you.."

You smiled a bit and closed your eyes, wishing you can just stay here and talk to him, even for a minute more.

Unfortunately, the crystal decided you’ve wasted enough time as you glitched into another world and your arms suddenly felt empty.

Annoyed, you dropped them as the smell of smoke filled your lungs, and you realized you were now decked-out in bomb squad gear in the middle of some ruined building.

'Well shit, it’s back to chaos, I guess. Time to keep searching..’ You huff, hoping that Mark you encountered was doing better.

[xenodile]

tfw you just wanted to move to Limsa and maybe do some adventuring here and there to make money and help your community but instead you get caught up in the dealings of a secret society that kills gods so now the entire world’s politics are apparently your business and then just when you’re settling in the Nazi kill squad breaks into your clubhouse and murders like two dozen people and kidnap the nice secretary girl and in the process of rescuing her you’re made out to be a figurehead in the war effort which you were going to assist in anyway but this new pressure isn’t exactly what you wanted, and even after you win the war politics won’t leave you alone so you get framed for regicide and have to go into hiding as all your friends do the same so you go to Catholic Elf France and meet a very nice man that you totally hit it off with but once again get dragged into Fucking Politics and Another War but this time with dragons and though you manage to end the war and help establish peace your new elf boyfriend gets murdered saving your life by the Pope’s boyband and he has the gall to smile as he dies in your arms like that isn’t going to scar you for the rest of your life, and just when it feels like things are calming down again you find out parallel dimensions are real and they are invading your world to kill you because it’s the only way to save their own world and so you have to murder a man that looks exactly like you that’s gone through the same things as you but MORE because it’s the only way to protect your home and loved ones but HE’S only doing this to save his home and loved ones and before you can even finish processing all of this the douchebag that framed you for regicide summons The Turbo Murder Dragon and one of your friends has to burn out his own soul in order to put a lid on it, and worse yet the Nazis saw it and have decided now’s a good time to start Yet Another War, so you are once again dragged into being the figurehead of a war against foreign fascists with all the unwelcome responsibility and pressure that comes with that, only this time there’s a crackhead blonde twunk with a sword running around that wants to kick your ass specifically and he’s strong enough that you can’t beat him in a straight fight, so you run half-way around the world to train and recruit more allies so that you stand even a spitting chance against him, and by then he’s full on obsessed with you in a creepy way, but whatever you put him and The Turbo Murder Dragon down, but then More Goddamn Politics happen and his stupid simp ruins any chance at peace though honestly it’s ridiculous that these people ever thought you could negotiate peace with The Fucking Nazis, but hey you’re just an adventurer what do you know so here comes ANOTHER FUCKING WAR and before you can even get dressed for it your friends start dropping like flies with no apparent cause until you’re the only one left and you have no idea whether the people you love who’ve been your only constants through all of this are going to live or die and then whoosie fucking do you get yoinked through space and time to the alternate dimension where your lookalike came from and HIS job of saving HIS world is now on you because turns out if his world is destroyed YOURS will also be so now you’ve got the ravaged remains of THIS planet viewing you as their savior and the onus is on you specifically to fight an unstoppable army of killer angels that turn people into more killer angels, all the while finding out that everything you thought you knew about metaphysics is a lie and that the goddess that’s empowered you to do all this is Just Another Primal like the supposed Evil God the Bad Guys have been working for, while Bad Guy In Chief basically spells out that he has only ever wanted to save his world and the people he loves, and you’re having to once again deal with the knowledge that you cannot protect your home and your family without killing people who only want the same, and everything you and your friends have done have been the machinations of these two competing false deities, that every conflict you’ve been a part of has been a move in their chess game, so when you kill Bad Guy In Chief you’re left the knowledge that you’ve dealt the final blow in a genocide but the alternative was the death of everything and everyone you’ve ever loved, so the most you can do is remember them and honor their memory, but now that FUCKING TWUNK is back from the dead and kickstarting ANOTHER FUCKING WAR because he is THAT fucking obsessed with fighting you, a war only possible because of the now dead Bad Guy In Chief BECAUSE of the Fake Evil God VS Fake Goddess Conflict that was forced on you and you’re really, REALLY sick to fucking death of these people involving you and the people you love in these perils and selfish conflicts when you’re nobody special, you’re just the person that happened to be in the right place all those years ago, yet you’ve had to go through all of this hardship because of these false gods vying for control and you’re ready to kill them, the moon, and everything that stands in front of you because one way or another you are going to make it fucking stop for good this time.

[sillyprompts]

Rare Americans 2 Starter Sentences

You’re crafty and tricky.

Dad had bloody heavy hands, used ‘em on me.

I grew up in the system. Bounced a couple homes.

You’re not gonna push me around.

I dropped out of school.

I snuck up to this sucker, took his stash and drove.

How dumb I was, twenty-one and way out of control!

She did a line right off my --

If it costs me my life, man, I’ll save my only friend.

As I lay here in my final nights, I try to have a laugh.

I didn’t win the game of life, but I’d give myself a pass.

Sometimes I drive and ignore the signs.

I'm not an asshole, but I don't care about getting caught.

You got no one to turn to, and people you owe. You’re a dope. 

This life is tough, man, and everybody knows.

I might indulge a little in this life, you never know.

I said “fuck it” long ago.

What is your play at the end of the day?

I make a livin' betting dog fights, darling. This is just a little scrap.

What happened to you? What happened to me? What happened to us?

I took your word for it 'cause you are so well-read.

You treat you like a temple. I treat me like a slave.

I've been fightin' it all my life.

I'm a father, I'm a fighter, I am tough. 

It’s not the working-for-peanuts that’s rough.

I'm outworking you but for a different coloured check.

I know there's no easy roads.

I got bad luck when it comes to parents.

I felt like a human barcode, programmed to hate mode.

I'm tired and I'm sick. You're a liar, full of shit.

You need not worry 'bout that hullabaloo.

Evil looms, darkness lurks! Safety in numbers!

Things are sad, they will get worse.

We’re encrypted, subscripted, soldiers of the brand: homo-lookalikes, a million-man marching band.

Shake my goddamn ole wrinkly hand!

I got this buzzin' in my ear... it's here for good I fear, my dear.

Don't wanna fuck this up man, I can't get this wrong.

I got these spots in my sights like I can't turn out the lights.

It's calm in my head as a high-speed chase.

I got those memories man, that you can't erase.

[iamnmbr3]

Hey! This is a bizarre ask but hopefully a welcome one after *gestures at the destruction and fire*. I’m completely new to the Loki/thorki fandom, having essentially come in via the exit door by watching the Loki tv series first. I was honestly just watching it for junk value to have something in the background while I knit. However, when I realized that I didn’t understand anything by the middle of Ep. 1, I went back to watch Thor 1 so I could get what was going on. And HOLY SHIT I was utterly captivated by Loki’s character in the original movie, as well as by the Loki-Thor and Odin family dynamics. I’ve now watched through the films and have been increasingly disappointed by the portrayal of Loki (since Avengers 1 frankly) save a few glimmers of good characterization here and there.

I can’t believe that I’m getting myself into another queer coded (and now more than coded wtf) “villain” with a tragic backstory who’s done dirty by the fandom at large, but here we are! I’m also super into thorki because goddamn… they sure do have a Dynamic™.

So I guess my question is, what is actually good here? I feel like I’ve been trying to fight my way back to Kenneth Branagh!Loki, and have been largely unsuccessful within canon content. Do you have suggestions for a newcomer re: fics, fanart, and meta that actually treats Loki seriously? (and thorki as well?)

Hey! Welcome! Sorry about the mess *gestures at the garbage fire that is the TVA Show The Larry Show The "Loki" Show*

And this isn't a bizarre ask at all. It was really nice to receive actually! And yeah! I'm so glad you went back and watched the originals. The TV Show character is a completely new character played by the same actor who has nothing in common with the original character (who yes is absolutely fascinating and captivating and multilayered). Honestly I just think of the tv character as Larry, Loki's dumb lookalike cousin bc they have nothing in common lol. So glad the show led to you discovering good content...and thorki. And yeah Thor 2011 is amazing! It's so underrated. If you want meta relating to that and also just gushing about the film you can def check out my Thor 2011 tag.

My thorki tag of course has thorki stuff including art etc. I've also got an art tag which has both thorki and non-thorki works. If you want fic recs you can look in my fic rec tag which has a bunch of good stuff both thorki and gen.

Also here are some good thorki fics to start out with that I've really enjoyed. Most are ones I read early on when I just discovered the ship. Also @illwynd has a great thorki blog btw that you should def check out (and also their sideblog @throwbackthorki). Edit: I’ve also added some gen fic recs.

Thorki Fic Recs:

Chaos War by astolat (words: 34,203 | rating: E)

It was never easy to find Loki when he wanted to hide, but he wasn't doing a particularly good job of it at the moment. Probably he didn't think anyone from Asgard would be wasting their time hunting for him while the shining ones churned their way steadily through all the realm.

Loyalty at Any Price by seidrade (words: 22,663 | rating: E )

“This whole time, I’ve been searching the Nine Realms— alone— for answers to questions I barely know how to ask. I thought Heimdall at his watch, our father upon the throne, and most grievously… I thought you lost to me forever.” Thor’s resurgence of anger gives way to something like despair. He can’t tell whether he wants to pummel Loki into one giant bruise, or hold him and weep like a child.

When Thor returns to Asgard and exposes Loki’s deception, his demands for answers and Loki’s reluctance to give them soon bubble over into a cathartic confrontation.

Born to be Kings by Kadorienne (words: 66,618 | rating: T)

When the princes of Asgard made their ill-fated jaunt to Jotunheim, Odin arrived to fetch them before the frost giant grabbed Loki's arm. Odin was able to carry out his plan to make Loki his puppet king of Jotunheim. But how long will Loki remain an obedient puppet?

Yidrigar by epistolic (words: 5,174 | rating: M)

Sometimes I am envious, but never doubt that I love you.

The Heavy Crown by orphan_account (words: 10,024 | Rating: M )

Odin is dead. Loki must take up the mantle of King even as war threatens Asgard, Thor remains bereft of both Mjolnir and his immortality, and stress coupled with the knowledge of his heritage drives Loki to the brink.

No Common Thing by ravenbringslight (words: 8,283 | rating: E)

Loki follows Thor to a brothel and gets the shock of his life.

On the Eagle's Wings by illwynd (words: 2,975 | rating: T )

After Loki falls from the Bifrost, Thor begins to write him letters every day.

How long we were fooled by Ark (words: 28,227 | rating: E )

Loki is not a good man, he knows; there is something rotten in the core of him; and even a much better man might let Thor kiss him, since Thor still tastes of sizzling lightning, like gathering rain, like a desire so fierce and so awful to him that when released it could bring Asgard to its knees.

sunshine by thorvaenn (words: 18,257 | rating: E )

A post Infinity War fluffy piece.

Thor and Loki are among those who are trying to pick up the pieces, but must first fix each other.

Edit: And Some Gen Fic Recs too:

lose my idols to find my voice by Lise (words: 1,548 | rating: T)

This is no homecoming.

monstrare by Lise (words: 1,174 | T )

Loki is Asgard's second prince, brother to Thor, son of Odin and Frigga.

Isn't he?

farewell hope, and with hope farewell fear by Lise (words: 3,113 | rating: T)

Loki and the terrible, horrible, no good, very long delayed reckoning.

Five Times Loki Could Have Been A Villain by Kadorienne (words: 3,344 | rating: G | Character Death)

Five AUs where Loki is not a mere antagonist, but an actual villain.

He would have acted very differently.

When It Sings, When It Lies by dreamsthebirds (words: 14,145 | rating: G)

Thor AU, based on an awesome norsekink prompt for a scenario in which Heimdall doesn't open the Bifrost to Jotunheim, Odin doesn't ride to the rescue, and Loki is forced to take matters into his own hands.

Interdimensional journeys, shattering emotional revelations, and walking trees ensue.

Ichor in Violet by tirsynni (Words: 14,574 | rating: T)

When Thor learns that Loki can travel to other realms without Heimdall seeing, of course he convinces Loki to take them both to Jotunheim to hunt Frost Giants. There an accident unravels centuries of lies and threatens to unravel Loki, too.

The Sinking Feeling of Anticipation by JaggedCliffs (words: 8,624 | rating: G)

When Æsir come of age, they receive a gift from their parents, one meant to aid them in their adult lives. When a prince of Asgard comes of age, their gifts are not just for themselves, but for the realm.

Loki watched Thor receive Mjolnir at his coming of age ceremony – one of the greatest weapons in the realms, for one of its greatest warriors. Now, it's Loki's turn, and he knows Odin will grant him something just as magnificent.

Won't he?

Exsanguination by Lise (words: 8,610 | rating: G)

exsanguination /ex·san·gui·na·tion/ v.intr. To be drained of blood. (And all the rest.)

[dccomicsimagines]

What’s Lost is Found - Batfamily Imagine - Part Ten

Warning - Depressive Content, Some Drug Use, Approach with Caution

Part One  Part Two  Part Three   Part Four  Part Five  Part Six  Part Six.Five  Part Seven  Part Eight  Part Nine  Part Eleven

***

All you knew was darkness. Time had no meaning in the dark room where you woke up. At least you thought you woke up. It was hard to tell the difference anymore.

You weren’t sure how long you had been in here. However, you did know the room was five feet by six feet or one point five meters by one point six meters. The height of the ceiling was about seven feet or two point one meters. There was one lightbulb in the ceiling, but you couldn’t find a way to turn it on. A locked door was on your right, shut tightly enough for not even a little light to slip through.

You laid down on the cobblestone floor. Pain was your constant companion. Your arm was healing incorrectly, aching. The cast Alfred had put on was gone when you came to. Your ribs were still tender, but at least they weren’t on fire like your arm. 

Maybe this was hell? Nothing, but pain and darkness.

Thoughts floated to the surface of your mind. Your family must be relieved you were gone and Gotham was safe at last. A pang hit your heart when you thought about how worried Dick probably was. At least he had Kori. She would take care of him. They had a child on the way. No one needed you.

A lump formed in your throat. Jon must be pretty worried too. You swallowed hard, coughing at how dry your mouth was. He was better off without you anyway. 

You couldn’t remember the last time you ate or drank. Dehydration was already setting in. You could feel it. Part of you was happy, because if you were dehydrated that meant you weren’t trapped in some kind of limbo. 

Suddenly, the door flew open and bright light beamed into the room. You gasped, covering your eyes. 

“Rise and shine, brat.” A man stomped in. He grabbed your broken arm and pulled you to your feet. You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from screaming in pain. Blood in your mouth. Tears filled your eyes from the pain. He grabbed the back of your shirt and pulled you along after him. 

Your bare feet scraped against the rough cobblestone floor. Taking a deep breath, you caught the scent of salt water. You must be near the ocean. 

Suddenly, you were pushed into a chair. “Eat,” the Bane Lookalike said. You opened your eyes, squinting as your eyes finally adjusted. The room was a nicely decorated office. You were seated at a table with a bowl of oatmeal in front of you. Your stomach rumbled at the sight, mouth watering until you saw the glass of water next to it. 

Without any grace at all, you grabbed at the water and downed it quickly. However, once it hit your stomach, you felt sick. Someone stuck a bucket in front of you just in time for you to lose it. 

“Leave us,” the Bane Lookalike said. The man who dragged you in here left, slamming the door behind him. You wiped your mouth with your sleeve, wincing when you thought of the scolding you would have received if Alfred caught you doing that. Alfred was probably scared out of his mind for you. Guilt ate at you as you took a slower and smaller sip of water once the Bane Lookalike filled your cup. 

He stared at you intensely. You drank and ate carefully, doing your best to study him without being obvious about it. It took you a good twenty minutes to finish eating. You knew you had to keep it down, so slow it was. The Bane Lookalike waited until you were done before sitting down on the chair behind the desk.

“I was going to leave you in there, niño. Let you die of dehydration.” He crossed his arms. You frowned slightly, wondering who he was to Bane. “But that doesn’t matter now. I have debts to pay and we have people who would pay a lot of money for you.” 

You held back the shiver. “So that’s your plan? Make money off me?” Your voice hoarse. This was the first time you had spoken since you had been taken.

He slammed his fist on the desk. You jumped from the boom. “Yes!” He jumped to his feet. His eyes flashed as you looked into them. You tensed. Suddenly, you had a vision of Bane’s dying eyes. His death rattle echoed in your ears. 

However, you were brought back to the present in an instant. The Bane Lookalike grabbed the front of your shirt, lifting you up in the air to look you straight in the eye. “You ruined my life!” He screamed in your face. His breath surprising fresh and minty. You wrinkled your nose. Bane always had bad breath. It was in his files on the batcomputer. However, this new Bane brushed his teeth. 

He shook you violently, probably angered by the fact you weren’t listening to him. “I was never supposed to be here! Wearing this goddamn mask!” He used his free hand to rip off the Bane mask to reveal a young man around Damian’s age. He had Bane’s eyes, but the face was softer, his nose shorter, mouth smaller. “You shouldn’t have kill my father!” 

You tensed as he threw you across the room. Remembering your training, you went limp and twisted to avoid landing badly. Your back smashed against the wall before you collapsed to the floor. The ribs, still tender, lit up in pain. You moan, staying where you were. 

Why didn’t Tim just tell you the Bane Lookalike was Bane’s son? Anger flashed through you, but it was quickly replaced by fear. The Bane Lookalike’s boots appeared by your face when you opened your eyes. 

One boot raised to step on your head. “I’m sorry,” you choked, tears slipping down your cheeks from the pain and the horror. You caused this. You caused so much pain. Like a bomb, you hurt everything around you with one act. One act that sealed your fate.

The boot stopped. “What did you say?” he growled, kneeling down to pick you up by the back of your shirt. You went limp to avoid more pain. 

“I’m sorry.” You looked him in the eye, tears falling down your cheeks without warning. “I’m so sorry.” 

The Bane Lookalike dropped you. A groan slipped out of you as you smacked against the floor. One of your ribs cracked. You coughed, sharp pain ripping through your chest.

His feet pounded on the floor. The door to the room flew open. “Drug them and locked them back in their cell!” You tensed. Drug? Oh no.

More footsteps echoed into the room. Big rough hands dragged you to your feet and tossed you back into a chair. You didn’t fight. There was no point. You couldn’t take them all on. Sharp pain rocked through your body. Every breath was more pain.

A needle poked your arm. You closed your eyes, submitting to it. This was your punishment. Payment for the life you took. The drug made the room spin. You closed your eyes to make it stop. 

Reality seemed to fall away. The pain in your body faded. You felt like you were floating on air. It took a lot of effort to notice you were being carried back to your dark cell. Even when they tossed you inside, you didn’t feel the impact. The darkness surrounded you again, but this time you hardly noticed.

***

You stayed in a fog. Anytime you were close to clearing it, another needle would enter your arm and you got lost again. You found one bright spot in your drugged stupor. At least you weren’t feeling the pain anymore.

Finally, you felt yourself being carried over someone’s shoulder. The drug faded away enough for you to open your eyes. Your head hung limply, inches above the person’s backside. You turned to look around, frowning at the room. 

It was bare except for a chair with a video camera in front of it. You were flipped over the person’s shoulder and set in the chair. Chain restraints were placed around your wrists and ankles. You blinked, trying to catch up with the person’s movement. Your brain was operating in slow motion. 

“Be good.” The person patted your head before stepping away. You frowned. A red light appeared on the camera. You stared at it, shaking your head to try to focus. 

“Bidding starts at two million.” A voice echoed from the camera. Your eyes widened. A light turned on above you, illuminating you for the camera. 

Your stomach dropped to your feet. You wanted to scream, to fight, but the drug kept you still, complaisant. The chains rattled as you lifted your hand to your cheek to wipe away a single tear. 

The auctioneer kept naming prices, going up higher and higher. You only heard his voice. Closing your eyes, you knew it was just you and the person who brought you here in this room. They must be broadcasting the auctioneer’s voice in. The pain started to creep back into your body. 

“Sold for twenty five billion.” You flinched at the price. A cackle filled the room, tinny from the speaker it originated from. Your blood ran cold. 

“I want the kiddo sooner rather than later, boys,” The Joker’s voice said. “Baby Robin needs to come back home.”

“You may pick up Robin in two days. Thank you all for your time.” The auctioneer’s voice cut out. Red light from the camera turned off. The person came over. They grabbed your arm, sticking you with another needle. Your arm was covered in needle marks. How long had it been? How many times have they drugged you?

The drug kicked in almost instantly. Your eyes closed, falling back into the fog. Pain drained away like someone pulled the plug. The chains rattled again and suddenly you were up and over the person’s shoulder again. 

You couldn’t focus until you heard a voice you never thought you would hear again. “I’ll take Robin from here. The boss wants you to join him in the broadcast room.” 

The person stiffened. “Really? Why?”

“Didn’t ask why.” You were handed off like a sack of potatoes. Warmth like sunshine flooded your skin as you were placed over another shoulder. You moved your hand up to touch the familiar soft hair.

The other person walked off in a huff. “(Y/N), you’re okay. I’ll get you out of here,” Jon whispered, hurrying along down the corridor. He was careful not to bounce you. You kept your fingers in his hair, trying to stay awake. 

Jon shifted you to cradle you in his arms. You smiled tiredly at him, drinking in the sight of his face. Several times, you opened your mouth to speak, but no words came out. The drug kept pulling at you, but you fought to stay in the present. 

He brought you to another room. You couldn’t pick up what it was. He laid you down on the soft surface. “We got to wait for Damian, but we’ll get you out of here soon.” Jon smiled at you brightly. Worry flashed in his eyes. “I’m so...God, don’t scare me like that again.” 

You struggled to keep your eyes open. Jon frowned, cradling your cheek. You moved your arm. His eyes dropped to your arm. He gasped at the needle marks. “Oh no, (Y/N), what have they been doing to you?” You could feel his x-ray vision scanning your body. “Your arm.” 

“Sorry.” You mumbled, closing your eyes. The drug pulled you into a deep dark sleep.

***

“You imbecile, you ruined the plan completely.” Someone paced nearby. “They know we’re here now, and (Y/N) is in no condition to fight.” The drug was fading again. You shivered, cold.

“I couldn’t let them put them in that cell again. Damian, (Y/N) is burning up.” A warm hand laid on your forehead. You sighed. It was Jon’s. He was always so warm. 

“TT.” Jon’s hand pulled away to be replaced by Damian’s callused hand. “This is proves how stupid you are. I told you to let me do the talking, but no, you had to go out with your white, American accent. Now we’re stuck in here, and (Y/N) needs medical attention.” 

Jon growled. “Stop it.” Damian’s hand pulled away. The blanket covering you was tucked securely around you.

You slowly opened your eyes. Damian sighed in relief. “Here.” He helped you sit up and pressed a canteen to your lips. You drank slowly, some dripping down your chin. Jon grinned like a puppy, rubbing your knee. “TT.” Damian pulled the canteen away and wiped your chin with his sleeve. 

“How?” You coughed. Damian supported you, letting you lean back into him.

“You didn’t think we wouldn’t come after you, did you?” Jon took your hand, kissing the back of it. Damian huffed at the sight.

“But...you should be in Gotham.” You tried to look at Damian, but he pressed the canteen to your lips again. 

“Gotham is fine. You are not.” Damian gestured to Jon. Jon blinked, having to drag his eyes away from you to go get something from a bag in the corner. “TT, you honestly thought we’d leave you here? Everyone is losing their minds with worry about you. I’ve never seen Grayson so upset.” Your stomach dropped at the thought.

Jon came back to you, handing Damian a bottle of pills. He shook two out and pressed them into your mouth. You took them, taking a sip of water to wash it down. Jon took your hand again, smiling dopey. The relief in his eyes hurt more than everything else. 

You took in the room. It looked like an old storage closet. You were lying on a pile of blankets with Jon’s cape covering you. “Where are we?” Damian pulled away, laying you back down. 

“We’re in Peña Dura.” Jon scooted closer, sharing his warmth with you. He pronounced Peña Dura incorrectly. Damian rolled his eyes behind him, going back to pacing the room. “We found out through Damian’s contacts that they took you here.” He gestured to his clothes. You wrinkled your nose when you realized he was dressed like one of Bane’s goons. Damian was in similar attire. “We snuck in and disguised ourselves until we found you.” He kissed your cheek, laying down beside you. You shivered. He slipped under his cape, pressing close. His warmth soaked into you.

“Except someone was dumb enough to let our cover be blown. Now the entire place is on high alert.” Damian glared at Jon. “Kent, no funny business.”

“I’m not going to do anything. Just trying to keep (Y/N) warm.” Jon snapped. “Geez, like we’d do anything with you standing there anyway.” Damian snorted in disgust. 

You chuckled tiredly. Jon was so warm like he always was. You snuggled closer to him, colder than you ever been before. “Go back to sleep,” Jon whispered. He kissed the top of your head. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You relaxed. Right before you passed out again, you noticed Damian studying you and Jon with a bewildered expression.

***

“We have to move now,” Damian snapped. He knelt down for you to climb onto his back.

“I can walk.” You pressed your hand against the wall to keep your balance. 

Damian turned to glare darkly at you. “Get on my back now.” You sighed, climbing onto his back and wrapping your arms around his neck. Damian stood up. Jon swung the bag over his shoulder. He studied you, adjusting one of the blankets to sit more securely on your shoulders.

“Are you sure you can handle it, Damian? I can carry (Y/N) easily.” Jon bit his lip. 

“I’m fine. Just move.” Damian snarled, holding your legs tightly. Jon slipped out of the storage closet first. You buried your face into the back of Damian’s neck. He grunted, probably feeling your fever through his skin. It had only dropped slightly, but there wasn’t time left. 

You shivered violently, wishing you could be strong. Your body ached for the drug. Despite that fact you wanted to stay awake, your body wanted the drug to push you into the stupor once again. Damian theorized your fever was partly infection and withdraw. You had to admit he was probably right. 

Damian and Jon made their way down the corridors. You kept your eyes closed, dozing. 

Damian suddenly stopped. You tensed, sensing what he did. Ironically, Jon didn’t notice until the first bullet was fired. Damian backed into a room with an open door. “Shit.” 

“Language,” you said humorlessly. Damian tightened his grip on your legs. 

“Quiet.” Damian glanced around the room. Jon fought out in the hallway. You heard the searing of his heat vision. 

Damian set you down, leaning you against the wall. “What now?” You rocked dangerously. Damian gripped your shoulder to keep you upright. 

“Let me think.” He glanced around the room. It looked like another cell with a bed in the corner and a sink on the other side. His eyes fell on the barred window. “We might have to climb.”

You frowned. “I don’t know if...” Your legs were already shaking, getting weak from standing just a few seconds. “Damian, leave me.” 

Damian flinched. He spun to you, grabbing your arm roughly. “Don’t you ever say that. I am never leaving you behind.” 

You stared into his eyes. There was the Damian you knew. You hadn’t ruined him after all. Suddenly, it occurred to you. “You two came on your own, didn’t you?” You sighed. “Damian, Dad always told you to think about how to get out of the situation before jumping in.” 

“TT, there was no time.” Damian left you. He took a laser tool out of his pocket, cutting through the bars on the window. You stumbled to the bed, sinking onto it weakly. Everything ached. You never imagined so much pain. 

Damian took off the bars and looked out the window. It was dark outside. The scent of the ocean in the air.  “This might work.” He looked at you, thinking. 

“What about Jon?” You jumped when a boom came from the hallway. 

“He’s fine. Man of steel or so he claims.” Damian pulled the blanket from your shoulders. “I’m going to tie you to my back. We’ll climb down.” 

“Are you sure you’ll be able to carry me?” You shivered, watching Damian tie secure the blanket around you. Leaning against his back, you wrapped your arms around his neck as he tied you to him. 

“TT, you always did doubt my abilities.” Damian snorted. He climbed out the window. You tightened your arms around his neck when you saw the ground far below. “Calm down.” 

“Right.” You buried your face into the back of his neck. Damian freeclimbed down, using the uneven bricks of the prison to work his way down. 

Bullets rang out from the window. You looked up to see men firing down at you and Damian. Damian pressed against the wall. He swore under his breath. You glanced down. The cobblestone courtyard was far below. “Damian, drop.” 

Damian gasped. A bullet hit his shoulder. His blood splatted your face. He lost his grip, dropping one arm. “We’re not in any condition to survive a fall.” He groaned, trying to hold on with one hand. 

“Jon will catch us. Drop now.” The blood poured down his shoulder, soaking into you. You reached for his hand with your bad arm. “Let go.”

Damian grunted. He let go. The two of you dropped fast. You wrapped your legs and arms around Damian. Taking a deep breath, you screamed.

Suddenly, the wall above you and Damian burst. Jon rocketed toward you and Damian, catching you and Damian with the blanket tying the two of you together. The blanket jerked into your ribs. You squeaked, feeling your ribs snap again. Damian just grunted. Jon set you and Damian down in the courtyard. Damian crumbled. You landed on top of him, causing him to moan.

“Sorry.” You tried to untie the blanket, but your fingers wouldn’t work right. Jon reached down to help. 

“He’s losing a lot of blood.” Jon took the blanket and pressed it to Damian’s shoulder. You rolled off him. Energy drained out of you every second you tried to sit up. 

“Jon, we’re going to have to surrender.” You swallowed hard at the shocked look on Jon’s face. “Come on, I can’t walk. Damian’s losing too much blood.” 

“I’m fine.”  Damian sat up. His face paled and he instantly passed out. 

“Oh crap.” Jon patted Damian’s cheeks. “Wake up. Come on.” You tried to keep pressure on Damian’s shoulder. Black swarmed your vision. You felt the blood draining out of your face. Jon glanced over at you. “Oh no, not you too.” 

You kept your eyes on Damian. “We’ll be fine. Go. Get out of here.” You waved him off. Jon froze, jaw dropped. “Go get help. Let everyone know what happened. You can come back for us.” 

“No!” Jon jumped to his feet. “I can’t leave you two.” Armed guards swarmed the courtyard. Bullets fired around you. Jon stepped in front of you and Damian. Bullets bounced off him. He put up his hands. “We’re all going down together.” 

You shook your head at him, too weak to argue. “Stubborn.” Guards surrounded the three of you. The Bane Lookalike appeared in front of you. You blinked at him before you felt your body give out.

***

“Remember, one wrong move and we’ll blow them up.” The Bane Lookalike warned, poking Jon’s chest. Jon growled, but stayed where he was. You watched dully, running your fingers through Damian’s hair as his head rested in your lap. The explosive collar was heavy around your neck. 

The Bane Lookalike glared over at you. “I can’t wait until I’m rid of you.” He slammed the cell door on his way out. 

“Are you okay?” Jon asked, hurrying to your side. 

You shrugged. “His pulse is weak, but he seems to be resting easy.” You kept running your fingers through Damian’s hair. Ever since you woke, you crawled to Damian’s side and stayed there. 

Jon pressed his hand to your forehead. “You’re still burning up.” He grabbed a blanket from the bed and wrapped it around your shoulders. “Damian will be fine. He’s strong.” 

“And I’m not?” You shook your head weakly. A lump grew in your throat. “Why couldn’t they just kill me? Let this all be over with.” 

“Don’t you ever say something like that!” Jon wrapped his arm around your shoulders, sharing his heat like the radiator he always was. He kissed your cheek. “Why do you keep scaring me like this?” 

You rested your cheek on his shoulder, closing your eyes. “I was trying to do what was right. Trying to fix my mistake.” Jon rubbed your back. “I ruined everything by killing Bane. Everything.” 

“You didn’t ruin anything.” Jon tensed slightly. “This is just a mess anyway.”

Damian moaned in his sleep. You checked his shoulder. The bandage was still holding. The bleeding finally stopped. “You know that man is Bane’s son? He hates me for killing his father and forcing him to take over. It’s the same reason Damian hates me.” 

Jon’s jaw dropped. “Damian doesn’t hate you. (Y/N), he lost it when you handed yourself over. I mean everyone was shocked, upset, but Damian had to be held down by Jason and Dick to stop him from barreling right after you.” Jon swallowed hard. “Even then, he didn’t want to wait for the others to figure out a plan. He came up with this, and told me to come with him.” He glanced down at Damian. “He loves you. He just doesn’t watch his mouth and let’s his anger speak for him.” 

You snorted. “It’s a good thing he can’t hear you.” You winced when you moved too sharply. “How long has it been?” 

“When? Since we surrendered?” Jon eyed the collar around your neck. “A couple of hours.” 

“Since I gave myself up?” You opened your eyes to look at him. “I was locked in that dark cell for a long time and I don’t know how much time passed while they drugged me.” 

Jon bit his lip. “Three weeks.” He pressed a gentle kiss to your lips. “Worst three weeks of my life to be sure.” 

You smiled into the kiss. “I thought I wouldn’t see you again. It hurt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest.” 

“I thought I was going to die. I couldn’t sleep, all I kept thinking was how I might never see you again.” Jon nuzzled your cheek. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Your heart skipped a beat.

“TT, stop it.” Damian grunted. He opened his eyes, glaring up at you and Jon. “It’s bad enough that my best friend and sibling are dating, but I don’t need it rubbed in my face.” He tried to sit up, but gasped in pain. You pushed him back down. 

“You need to rest. Not much we can do right now anyway. I have a bomb around my neck.” You traced your fingers over his forehead. 

Damian’s eyes widened, staring at the collar around your neck. “Shit.” 

“Did Dad know how much you started swearing?” You teased halfheartedly. Damian huffed. “I missed you, Damian.” 

He blinked. “I missed you too.” He closed his eyes at your touch. “I am sorry for what I said. You are not responsible for our father’s death. You didn’t ruin everything.” 

Your stomach dropped. Was Damian awake earlier, listening to you and Jon? Jon tightened his arm around you. “That means a lot coming from you.” You leaned down to kiss Damian’s forehead. He grunted, blushing.

“Aww.” Jon laughed. 

“Shut up, Kent.” Damian snarled weakly. “We need to come up with a plan.” 

“They are going to hand (Y/N) over to the Joker. He bought them at the auction they held.” Jon whispered, tensing when they heard a bang from outside the cell. 

“Joker?” Damian frowned. “But he’s dead.” 

Your blood ran cold. “What?” 

Damian blinked. “He committed suicide.”

“But that goes against everything he is.” You couldn’t believe your ears. Jon looked shocked too. “Are you sure it was him?” 

“Yes.” Damian closed his eyes, shivering. “We found his body on patrol one night. It was a few week after Father...there were clues, Drake came with me and we found him hanging from the ceiling beam in the warehouse that created him.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me? Does everyone else know?” You stroked his hair again, hand shaking. 

Damian huffed. “You were in no condition. When it happened, you were still having your...episodes and fighting with Grayson.” 

You bit your lip. Suddenly, you remembered the day that it must have happened. Damian came from patrol when you were all still at the manor. Dick and you were fighting as he wanted you to talk to him about your nightmares. Damian walked by. You tried to get his help, but he just brushed you off. The traumatized look on his face burned into your memory.

“The Joker was always obsessed with Father. It makes sense that he wouldn’t handle it when Father...” Damian trailed off, studying you. “Don’t do that.” 

“What?” Blood rushed to your cheeks as you focused back on Damian.

“Don’t feel guilty about him. He did it himself.” Damian rolled his eyes. “Madman.” 

“So then who’s the one who bought (Y/N)?” Jon whispered, silently listening the whole time. His thumb rubbed circles into your shoulder. 

Damian hummed. “I don’t know.” 

“We’ll just have to wait and see.” You sighed, closing your eyes again and resting on Jon’s shoulder. 

“No, we won’t. As far as I’m concerned, you’re not going anywhere,” Jon said firmly. 

“TT, we might not have a choice.” Damian’s voice dropped to a whisper. 

“I’ll stay awake to keep watch. Rest now,” Jon whispered, kissing your temple. You smiled, drifting into the blissfulness of sleep. 

***

The Bane Lookalike clutched at the back of your shirt, dragging you out into the courtyard. A helicopter sat on the helipad. Wind tore at your clothes as the rotors slowed to a stop. Chilling cold sank into your bones. You glanced back to find Damian behind you, being held up by Jon. Guards surrounded them. A gun was pressed against Damian’s head when one of the guards caught you looking. You swallowed hard, feeling the weight of the bomb around your neck. They didn’t take it off yet. You weren’t sure why.

“You want him to live. You go quietly.” The Bane Lookalike jerked you. You bit your lip, looking back at the helicopter. The door opened. Your stomach dropped when you saw a flash of a purple suit.

“Well, well, well, look at this welcome.” The Joker stepped out of the helicopter, waving his arms around. A few armed men in clown masks got out behind him. “Oh, Robby. Look at you.” He walked to you, almost dancing. 

Something felt familiar about him and not in the way you expected. You frowned, tensing. “You have the money?” The Bane Lookalike tightened his grip on you. 

The Joker laughed before he noticed the bomb collar around your neck. “Take that off.” He instantly lost his humor. “No one blows up Robin except me.” 

“No, we have to control Superboy.” The Bane Lookalike nodded back to Jon and Damian. 

“Can we work out a deal for those two?” The Joker clapped his hands. “I would like to have the full set.” The Joker met your eye. It was like someone punched you in the stomach. You knew those eyes. Those were Dick’s eyes.

“Depends, how much are you willing to pay?” The Bane Lookalike jerked you again. You stumbled, falling against him. The Joker/Dick’s eyes flashed before he went back into character.

A cackle escaped from The Joker/Dick. “You stupid kid. I won’t have to pay you anything.” 

Suddenly, flashbangs went off all over the place. You were knocked down by the Bane Lookalike when he was attack by The Joker/Dick. The bomb around your neck started to beep. Your breath caught in your throat. You touched it, trying to find a way to get it off.

A joker goon knelt down beside you. “Stay calm.” He took off the clown mask to reveal Tim’s face. “We’re here. It’s okay,” Tim soothed, taking out tools to try to remove the collar. 

“You don’t hate me?” Tears filled your eyes. You didn’t want to die like this. Not in front of your family.

Tim flinched. “Hush, no.” He picked at the collar as it’s beeps increased. “Stay still. I almost have it.” 

You closed your eyes. A whimper slipped out of your mouth as guns fired nearby. The collar clicked and Tim pulled it away from you. “Superman!” You opened your eyes to see Tim throwing the collar to Superman who was blocking you and Tim from a hail of bullets. Superman held it tightly in his hands. It boomed seconds later. 

Tim scooped you up into his arms and moved you behind some crates near the helipad. “Are you okay?” He quickly checked you over.

“I think so.” You shivered. Tim pressed his gloved hand against your forehead.

“You’re burning up.” Tim bit his lip.

“You have to help Damian. He got shot in the shoulder, lost a lot of blood.” You shook your head. 

Tim glanced around the crates. “We’ll get him. Superboy is protecting him.” He glanced back at you. “I swear if you do something so foolhardy like this again, I...I’ll do something.” 

You laughed despite the battle happening around you. “Sure.” Tim peeked around the crates again. “Go. Help them. I’ll be okay here.” 

“Are you sure?” Tim eyed you worriedly. 

“Go.” You closed your eyes as Tim leaned you back against the crate. “I’ll stay here, I promise.” 

Tim nodded. He pressed a taser in your hand. “Just in case.” You smiled weakly as he jumped over the crates and ran into the action. 

You wanted to get up to help, but your body refused. Closing your eyes, you tried to not think about who could be getting hurt or dying because of you. 

“Niño. You ruined everything.” Your eyes shot open to find the Bane Lookalike standing in front of you. Turning on the taser, you held it up to warn him away. He glared, kicking your hand and sending the taser flying away from you. 

“I’m sorry.” You coughed, scooting as far away from him as you could. “But you don’t have to do this. This all can stop now. We don’t have to be defined by tragedy.” It surprised you that this came to you now. You remembered Dick telling you that during the first month after your father’s death. Ironic this piece of wisdom would spill out of your mouth now. 

The Bane Lookalike shook his head. “No.” In one shift move, he jabbed a needle into your arm. You watched in horror as he injected a large dose of the drug into you. “Suffer and die, you piece of human filth.” 

It hit you instantly. Your heart stopped. Breath couldn’t enter your lungs. Black swarmed your vision. The last thing you heard was the Bane Lookalike’s laughter.

***

You jerked awake. A frown pulled at your lips when you were met with the high, elaborately decorated ceiling of Wayne Manor. You sat up, stunned to find yourself lying on a leather couch in your father’s study. 

The chair behind the desk was turned away from you, but you could see someone was in it. “What?” You got to your feet, surprised to find you were in your old Robin suit. Odd. Especially since it didn’t fit you anymore. “How did I get here?” 

The chair behind the desk spun around. Your blood ran cold while your heart skipped a beat. “(Y/N),” Bruce Wayne said, smiling sadly at you. 

“Daddy.” You ran to him, jumping over the desk and straight into his arms. He laughed. His arms strong and protective around you. You never thought you would feel this safe again. Sobs racked your body. “I missed you so much.” 

“I know, sweetheart.” He rocked you. Part of you realized you were a tad too old to be doing this, but you didn’t care. “I missed you too.”

A long time passed before you pulled back to look at him. “Was it all a dream? You never died, right?” 

Bruce rubbed your back. His face fell. “I did die, (Y/N). None of it was a dream.” 

You froze, confused. “Wait, but how am I here? How are you here? What’s happening?” You panted, panic setting in. “Did I die too? Oh no, I died in front of the others. Did they have to find my body?” 

“Hush.” Bruce caught your chin. “Breathe.” He took a deep breath. You copied him, tears still running down your cheeks. ��Calm down. You are not dead. At least not yet.” 

“What does that mean?” You glanced around. Everything was a little fuzzy, unfocused. 

“You are in a coma.” Bruce wiped your tears ffrom your cheeks. “Bane’s son caused you to overdose.” He held you close. “You are currently fighting for your life.” 

Your lips trembled. “I’m sorry. I just cause pain and stress for everyone.” You buried your face into his shoulder. 

“I am proud of you, (Y/N).” Bruce rubbed your back. “You been so strong, grew so much.” He kissed the top of your head. “Don’t get me wrong. I am upset you would do something so risky as to hand yourself over.” 

You sniffled. “I’m sorry, Daddy.” You looked up at him. “I just wanted to fix my mistakes. I shouldn’t have killed Bane. It ruined things for everyone.” 

“Yes, but you have done your best to repair the damage and I’m proud of you for it.” Bruce looked you in the eye. “I know you think you should suffer for what you did, but you have and now it’s time for you to live. You deserve to live, sweetheart.”

You blinked, surprised he knew what you had been thinking. He knew you felt like you couldn’t be happy, that you couldn’t have a life. “I love you.” You hugged him tightly. 

“I love you too.” He stood up from his chair with you in his arms. “But it’s time for you to go.” 

“What?” You whimpered, not wanting this to end. Tears filled your eyes again. “But I don’t want to leave you.”

Bruce smiled, setting you down on your feet. “I know, but you have to wake up. Take care of your brothers, Alfred, and the girls. They need you and you need them.” 

“Will I see you again?” A wave of chilliness washed over you. You shivered. A beeping like a heart monitor sounded in the distance. 

“You will someday. Remember you are not alone. I’m here for you every step of the way.” He leaned forward to kiss your forehead. You closed your eyes, feeling his touch before everything drifted away. 

The beeping in the distance got louder and closer. You felt like you were floating. Your eyes couldn’t open. Your body couldn’t move. Something weighed you down. A soft surface was beneath you. Something was in your arm.

Someone cleared their throat somewhere nearby. You fought to open your eyes, hoping that it was your father. Maybe he wasn’t dead? Maybe everything else had been a dream? You knew you were wrong, but you couldn’t help it.

A warm, large hand grabbed your hand. “(Y/N), kiddo, you awake?” Jason asked. The surprise from Jason’s voice finally gave you the strength to open your eyes. You saw white first, blinking until you could focus on Jason’s smiling face. “Hey, kiddo.” He sighed in relief. 

You blinked at him slowly. Energy drained out of you simply from opening your eyes. The beeping increased. “Woah, don’t panic. You’re fine. Everything is fine,” Jason soothed, glancing up at the heart monitor. You tried to look at it too, but you could barely keep your eyes open. Your eyelids weighed heavily enough to force you to close your eyes again. “Go back to sleep, kiddo.” A kiss was pressed to your forehead in the same place your father had kissed you. Maybe you imagined the whole encounter? You wondered about it before you slipped back into nothingness again.

[robinruns]

Ok, Hella Mega Minneapolis weekend recap, let's go (also this post is long sorry not sorry)

I already told yall about Sunday: drove, met up with Maria 🖤 wandered around, found one (1) restaurant, but it was good so it was fine.

Monday: got up and went to the zoo... a zoo? There were animals, here are some that spoke to my soul

Then we got snack and lunch and waited until it was time to walk to the stadium. The line was already pretty long when we got there but it was prime people watching. Also once we got up close they just started ushering peoplw through the "VIP" gate just to keep us moving. Things were NOT moving at the merch table though. Like this whole ass family had so long in line to figure out what they want to do and got to the front and were still talking to their small children about what they wanted.

We grabbed gatorade (because it was still around 87°) and headed to our spot. Luckily we were on the aisle so we had extra space. The girl in front of us was double fisting beers all night, was a MASSIVE fan of Weezer and was generally super cool. She also dumped a drink down a guy's shirt because he and his Jake/Logan Paul lookalike friend were being obnoxious AF and the security guard was just flirting with them instead of dealing with them.

But The Interrupters were great, Weezer was awesome even though there were a couple songs I didn't know.

Then came the main event (for us at least), Fall Out Boy! This was my 3rd FOB show, and actually the 2nd time they were second billed (the last time was when they were on tour with Blink 182 and Panic in 2009). I loved that their set was more elaborate than either of the other bands' and they changed it midway through, and there was a whole narrative to it.

(I'm running out of room for photos)

What I really really loved was seeing how totally fuckin stoked Patrick seemed to be about being up there and performing. Like Pete is always up there talking, and I feel like Patrick can be more subdued, but he just had a real energy to him.

Hi can you tell I love Patrick Stump?

Anyway. I had to go get water mid set because I felt like I was thisclose to passing out. Like at this point we'd been on our feet 4+ hours (not counting time at the zoo) and temps were not cooling down, if anything it was hotter due to the people.

Before Green Day came out, they played Bohemian Rhapsody and I've never heard a crowd all singing like that before, it was great!

So Green Day comes out swinging, it's AMAZING, there's fireworks, it's like it's 2004 and everything nothing hurts. I know they've been pulling a person on stage to play a little with them and the kid they pulled on stage was so freaking stoked, like I'm getting chills right now thinking about how amazing it was. But then the moment I'd been sorta... dreading came.

They played Wake Me Up When September Ends and I lost it. Bless @maria-the-ghoul for putting up with my embarrassing self. Also shout out to beard dude from the other side of the aisle who gave me a hug and then apologized for being sweaty, as if we all weren't drenched in sweat (literally my shirt was totally soaked).

I think that's part of why it took me so long to process the whole night. That moment found that raw spot in my heart and just sorta... I dunno, poked at it. Driving back today I cried again because I just thought about the song. Granted I am very tired (very little sleep, very much activity) and so that probably isn't helping things, but at that point I'd luckily changed my spotify from just playing all of my liked songs to just My Chemical Romance. It really helped. Like I can't convey right now how thankful I am to have their music because it just soothes me so much.

But another thing I felt on my drive home was some goddamn closure on the shit show that was fall 2019. I had songs play that I discovered during that time and that same feeling I'd been carrying for two years was gone. I finally feel at peace with that time period. Hell, maybe it's because I'm more focused on this year's shit show, but either way, I feel better.

And I'm ready to do it again next week

[bookaddict24-7]

RECO OF THE WEEK!

Only When It’s Us by Chloe Liese

Synopsis: 

“Ryder:

Ever since she sat next to me in class and gave me death eyes, Willa Sutter’s been on my shit list. Why she hates me, I don't know. What I do know is that Willa is the kind of chaos I don’t need in my tidy life. She’s the next generation of women’s soccer. Wild hair, wilder eyes. Bee-stung lips that should be illegal. And a temper that makes the devil seem friendly.She’s a thorn in my side, a menacing, cantankerous, pain-in-the-ass who’s turned our Business Mathematics course into a goddamn gladiator arena. I'll leave this war zone unscathed, coming out on top…And if I have my way with that crazy-haired, ball-busting hellion, that will be in more than one sense of the word. 

Willa:

Rather than give me the lecture notes I missed like every other instructor I’ve had, my asshole professor tells me to get them from the silent, surly flannel-wearing mountain man sitting next to me in class. Well, I tried. And what did I get from Ryder Bergman? Ignored. What a complete lumbersexual neanderthal. Mangy beard and mangier hair. Frayed ball cap that hides his eyes. And a stubborn refusal to acknowledge my existence.

I’ve battled men before, but with Ryder, it's war. I’ll get those notes and crack that Sasquatch nut if it’s the last thing I do, then I’ll have him at my mercy. Victory will have never tasted so sweet.

Only When It’s Us is a frenemies-to-lovers, college sports romance about a women’s soccer star and her surly lumberjack lookalike classmate, complete with a matchmaking professor, juvenile pranks, and a smoking slow burn. This standalone is the first in a series of new novels about a Swedish-American family of five brothers, two sisters, and their wild adventures as they each find happily ever after.

___

Check out my short review here. 

Add this book to your TBR on Goodreads here.

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Have you read this book? Would you recommend it?

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Happy reading!

[rewritten-belial]

And, out of the portal in the wall came Ruv, landing flat on his back onto the ground, with Sarvente staring him down.

"Greetings, underling. It seems like you had quite a bit of fun with my lookalike, or at least I assume as much by the fact your expression is just the slightest bit more relaxed..."

"How about we remedy this by reminding you just what your place here is?

"... Do it."

"Oh, what did you say, Ruv?"

"Put a hole in me. Give me yet another fucking scar. I don't give a shit at this point. I know what I'm in for. I know I can't run away from this."

"At least I got treated like a person for once in my goddamn life. And that's somethin' you can't take away. Good memories. And, in fact, you're the reason I got to experience something nice for once. So, thanks. Your attempt to stir up trouble only made me have a nice time for the first time in years."

Hm... He was admittedly right. She did send him over to a version of herself that would treat him with kindness, and doing these things would in fact change nothing, but...

Ah, screw it. It's fun to rip him apart anyways. Each and every single time.