#he told my sole survivor he makes him want to live again... im destroyed

[danielsarmand]

preston garvey they could never make me hate you

[chokememrstark]

Requiem Of Memories // Part 12

Ship: Samifer (Sam Winchester / Lucifer)

Words: 2053 (Chapter 12 / 15)

Fic Summary: Sam still feels awkward after what happened between him and Lucifer, but he enjoys spending time near the angel and hates when he has to leave. On another day when Lucifer is out doing what he does, Sam has a conversation with Meg that opens his eyes about a lot of things and puts everything he knows about this world's Devil into a new perspective.

angst, hurt & comfort, alternative universe, au!lucifer, mourning, depression, blood and gore, nightmares, loneliness, guilt

Note: I highly recommend to read Nightmares Become Reality before this, otherwise the premise of the story and the setting might not make much sense.

Tagging: @shebahda  @sassysupernaturalsweetheart   @spnyoucantkeepmedown    @brieflymaximumprincess   @kajuned  @archingangel  @this-darkness-light  @secretlydaydreaminglifeaway  @humongouscandycoffee  

If you want off the tag list or want to be added, just drop me an ask or IM!

Read on AO3!

Maybe it was just Sam’s imagination, but it felt like he spent more time with Lucifer after they had kissed a few times. It was casual and very similar to the way they spent time before, but it felt like it was more and Sam didn’t really mind. The next day Lucifer’s power had already recharged enough so he could heal himself completely and he informed Sam that the survivors of the Detroit massacre were now with them on the island, just to keep them safe. Of course this made Sam raise a brow, as he wasn’t used to Lucifer caring for his demons, but maybe this one was different in this way too. He had been surprised quite a few times already after all.

Lucifer was still considerate and friendly, nothing in his behavior towards Sam changed apart from him staying with him longer. There were no more kisses and no more intimate touches, but it didn’t become overly awkward either. Sometimes one of them would crack an ambiguous comment or joke to which they both laughed, but none of that felt forced at all, like Sam had feared. They were just the same as before, even though he often thought about their kisses when he laid in bed at night and tried to fall asleep. It was hard not to, really. Sam couldn’t figure out what the truth behind his joy in these moments had been, but every time he thought of them he could barely suppress a smile.

It took about a week before Lucifer told Sam that he had to go on another trip and would stay away for a few days, but he ordered Meg to look after Sam from time to time, so he wouldn’t miss anything. This time, the hunter was visibly sad to see the other leave and voiced his concern about his safety. It wasn’t something he usually did, but this time he couldn’t hold it back.

“Don’t worry, Sam,” Lucifer said with a smile. “I don’t expect any fighting this time, so everything will be fine.”

“I hope so,” Sam sighed and looked sadly at the angel. “Just promise me you’ll be back in one piece, okay? It’s boring when I’m alone here.”

“I promise I will be back soon. Until then, Meg will make sure you have everything you need.”

Sam didn’t like seeing Lucifer leave, but he knew that there were things to take care of, so he didn’t complain. Instead, Sam decided to tidy up his room and find something to distract himself with until Lucifer came back. It was evening when Meg eventually showed up, holding a huge plate in her hands that made Sam’s mouth water.

“Dinner is served,” Meg exclaimed when she put the place down and revealed all the delicious treats for the human. Sam couldn’t have been more obvious with his appetite when he plopped onto a chair next to the plate and began eating. Meg seemed to be very amused when she sat down across of the human.  “Damn, is Lucifer starving you or what?”

Sam shook his head and swallowed the bite in his mouth before answering.

“He’s not starving me,” he said with a smile, getting another sausage from the plate. “But these are delicious!”

“Good,” Meg laughed. “Eat up, you need it after all.”

“How are you doing now?” Sam wanted to know, trying to initiate some small talk. “Did everything heal well?”

“Sure, demons have a pretty effective way of healing wounds,” Meg grinned kind of proud. “Took a few days and I was as good as new. Some others were off worse, but by now everyone is recovered.”

“I’m glad everything is okay,” Sam sighed. “Lucifer was very worried, but he said the island would be the safest place for everyone.”

“It is, he’s right,” Meg agreed. “They don’t know we are here, so we will be safe. Lucifer is patrolling with groups of demons daily to make sure the wardings are intact and everything is the way it should be.”

“I noticed that. He’s taking this very serious.”

“Of course, we can’t lose any more innocent people.”

“I wouldn’t call demons innocent, but you are probably right,” Sam huffed. He was about to take a spoon full of vegetables when Meg made him stop dead in his movements.

“Who said the innocents were demons?”

“What?” Sam asked confused and gave her a weird glare. “But, I thought Lucifer’s servants were all demons?”

“Of course, but Detroit was a safe haven for everyone, including humans,” Meg huffed. “They attacked only an hour after we took in a family of four, all human, and they slaughtered every single one of them. Lucifer was furious when he found out, you couldn't imagine.”

“Okay, wait a second…” This didn’t make sense. Why would Lucifer’s demons take in humans and why would Lucifer himself be angry that they were killed? Shouldn’t it be the other way around in both cases? “I can’t follow you, sorry.”

“I don’t know how much you know, but we don’t exactly run around and kill humans,” Meg scoffed.

“I didn’t think you would, but taking them in?” Sam still didn’t get it. “Wouldn’t that be, you know, the other side’s job?”

“The angels keeping humans safe?” Meg laughed so much, Sam thought she would choke from not breathing anymore. All the while he just sat there and stared at her in complete confusion. When her laugh finally ebbed away, her voice was amused beyond reason. “They prefer to smite them on sight, no mercy for humans on their minds.”

“That makes no sense at all…”

Sam tried to imagine angels mercilessly hunting and slaughtering innocent humans, but his mind couldn’t cope with this information. Why on earth would they do something so horrible and cruel?

“You haven’t met the angels in our world yet, huh?” Meg asked with a smirk. “They aren’t really the protective kind you might know. They are ruthless to the very core.”

“Our angels aren’t protective either, but they… they don’t kill humans if they can save them. It’s usually demons who do that…”

“Welcome to Bizarro World, I guess your rules don’t apply here.”

“Okay, now I need some answers.” The food was long forgotten because this new piece of information was all that occupied Sam’s mind at the moment. “If Lucifer protects humans, what’s his goal? I mean, what is this all about if not him trying to end humanity?”

“ End humanity? Are you joking?” Meg laughed again, but this time way more sarcastically. “Lucifer tries to save what’s left of your kind. It’s not easy because the angels literally hunt them down, but sometimes we are successful.”

“That makes absolutely no sense..."

“I don’t know how your apocalypse went down, but ours was pretty straight forward. Lucifer faced his brother Michael on the battlefield and one of them snapped. Small hint, it wasn’t the archangel you know.”

“What do you mean, Michael snapped? What happened?”

“I only know what others told me, sorry, I wasn’t there. But apparently Michael lost it when Lucifer wouldn’t comply to his rules. He wanted to fight, he wanted to settle this once and for all, and Lucifer didn’t play his game. He unleashed a firewall that burned everything within a twenty mile radius and Lucifer barely escaped his anger. Ever since we have to hide like ants because Michael’s troops are always trying to find and destroy us. Sometimes we gain a bit of ground, but more often than not we are forced to hide even better... Detroit is just an example of the way we live sadly.”

“Damn…” Sam hissed. He didn’t expect something so groundbreaking different going down, but he also had no reason to think Meg was lying. There was nothing to gain from doing that, so she must be saying the truth.

“You said your apocalypse happened too, right?” Meg asked curious. “What happened there? What was different?”

“Well,” Sam started, but his throat was too dry to continue. He quickly took a few sips of water and tried again. “They met too, but not like this. I was there because Lucifer possessed me, but I saw everything that happened. They just… talked? They never actually fought though. I managed to jump back into the cage with Lucifer and Michael before anything worse could happen.”

It was hard swallowing down the memories of this fateful day. He remembered everything as if it happened merely hours ago - how Lucifer had beat up his brother and how he suddenly retreated and all he could feel was pain and sadness; how he took control and jumped into what should have been his end. It was as clear as day.

“You jumped into hell, with both of them?” Meg sounded shocked. Sam have her a shrug and a nod. “Damn, Giant, you have some balls to do that.”

“Are you kidding me?” Sam laughed. “I was scared out of my mind! I knew I would die down there but I had to do it, there was no other way. The sole reason to say yes to Lucifer was to get him back in the cage. When things didn't work out and they actually met I grabbed Michael’s arm the last moment and just jumped without thinking.”

“As I said, you got some balls.” Meg seemed to be very impressed. “I don’t know about your Michael, but ours is like a rabid dog. He even kills his angels if they don’t succeed to follow his orders, no matter how ridiculous they were. You’ve dodged a dangerous bullet.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I understand the whole picture yet.” Sam shook his head. “Are you trying to tell me that Lucifer’s goal isn’t to end humanity and destroy earth? That he’s not the bad guy in this scenario?”

“If Lucifer is the bad guy, I’m an angel,” Meg huffed. “He’s the only one standing between Michael and the complete destruction of this world as we know it.”

Sam was completely out of words. How was this possible? How could it be that the Devil was actually trying to save this world and humanity, while his brother tried to destroy it with his angels? If this was true, he had thought about Lucifer in a very awful way until now. All this time he had thought the other hated his kind and tried to kill every single one of them while throwing this world into chaos. He couldn’t believe that it was actually the other way around now.

“That’s not what you expected, isn’t it?” Meg asked and Sam nodded weakly.

“Our Lucifer… he wasn’t the good guy,” Sam mumbled. “He said it himself, he just wasn’t. But what your Michael does… even he would have never gone this far.”

Saying this out loud made Sam feel like a traitor, but it was the truth, wasn’t it? Lucifer had said it himself. But even though he had sacrificed a whole town of humans to summon Death and was responsible for the death of many, many more, Sam didn’t think he would have gone as far as this world’s Michael did. For his Lucifer humans had been an annoyance and a plague, but not so much that he would have actively hunted them and killed them for fun. As much as Sam tried to imagine it, he simply couldn’t. That just wasn’t the Lucifer he knew, good or bad.

“Well, you’re not in Kansas anymore, Alice. This is Wonderland and it sucks.”

Sam smiled weakly, but he couldn’t deny she was right. It was almost impossible to stomach this new information, but it felt as if something in Sam had known the truth for a very long time now. Lucifer had never acted the way someone who was trying to destroy this world would have, or not? When he thought back, even all those years ago, when his own Lucifer had possessed him, there had been no such intention. All he remembered was the overwhelming desire to stop all of this madness... and still, he couldn't process the true meaning of Meg's words just yet.

In the end, this was most definitely Wonderland and it sucked massively, Sam could accept at least that without any questioning.