#chapter 12
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manga-meow · 3 months ago
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nature-nerd-sarah · 1 year ago
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This was in the most recent chapter of the Kikuri side story manga. SPLIT-TONGUE PA-SAN CONFIRMED!!!
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saffusthings · 3 months ago
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second chances
mob boss! lando norris x reader
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part twelve: the watcher
word count: 2.5k
warnings: similiar themes of stalking, feeling watched, paranoia, etc.
eleven | twelve | thirteen
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It might as well have been written on a billboard in big, neon letters,
Lando noticed it as soon as he stepped into Brews & Books the next evening.
She wasn’t usually jumpy. A little awkward, sure, sometimes hesitant in conversation, but not jumpy. Today, though? She was tense, her shoulders held a little tighter than usual, her hands moving in small, anxious motions—tugging at the hem of her sweater, smoothing the already-flat surface of the counter.
She greeted him with a smile just like she always did, but he saw the tightness in it.
“You alright?” he asked as she started making his drink.
“Hm?” She glanced up, blinking like she hadn’t expected the question. “Oh– yeah. Yeah, I’m good.”
Lando tilted his head slightly, watching the way her fingers tapped absently against the counter. He didn’t press yet. Instead, he leaned on the counter, pretending to inspect the pastry display.
“You sure?” His tone was lighter this time, almost teasing. “You look like you’re waiting for something to jump out at you.”
That made her exhale a short, almost-laugh. “It’s nothing.”
But she still didn’t relax.
"You look tense," he added a beat later, glancing at her subtly so as not to spook her by bringing too much attention to it. Yet when he said it, she nearly dropped the cup.
It was such a simple statement, but the way he said it made her feel seen. Too seen.
“Oh,” she said quickly, forcing a laugh. “Just a long day. Lots of customers.”
His gaze didn’t waver. “You sure?”
She hesitated. Just for a second. But he caught it.
“I—yeah. Just a little tired.” She focused on the coffee machine, avoiding his gaze as she frothed the milk. “It’s nothing.”
Lando didn’t push further. Not immediately, at least. Instead, he leaned against the counter, casually observing as she worked. The almond croissants were a new addition to their lineup of baked goods. Perhaps he’d try it sometime, he mused.
She could feel his presence, even when she wasn’t looking at him directly. It made her more aware of herself—the way her hands trembled slightly, the tension in her shoulders.
After a pause, he spoke again, voice much lighter this time. Quieter too, like the words were intended only for her to hear. “You know you can tell me if something’s wrong, right?”
She finally glanced at him, brow furrowing slightly.
He tilted his head, offering an easy, almost amused smile. “You said we’re friends, right?”
She forced a smile of her own, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I.. yeah– yes, I mean. I did say that, that’s true. And thanks. But really, I’m fine.”
He hummed, not entirely convinced, but he let it go.
For now.
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She didn’t say anything else either, uncharacteristically quiet for the reminder of the time Lando spent sipping at his coffee. In fact, she didn’t say anything at all until later.
By the time the last customers left and she locked the door behind them, it was just the two of them in the shop. Lando had stayed longer than he usually did, taking his time with his drink, absently flipping through one of the books from the shelf while she tidied up. Mostly just for something to do – reading had never really been his thing.
She remained quiet as she wiped down the counter, lingering near him like she was debating something. She hesitated near the door, glancing out at the darkened street before turning back to find him still lingering at his usual spot.
She bit the inside of her cheek.
Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe she really was just being paranoid.
Finally, just as she set the rag aside, she exhaled and said, “Okay… Maybe I have been a little weird lately.”
Lando slowly closed the book, resting his arm over the cover as he turned his attention to her. “Yeah?”
HIs face seemed carefully neutral, no sign of teasing or worry or anything that would indicate his thoughts at all, in fact. It was slightly unsettling, but she felt encouraged by the fact that he seemed to care enough to have noticed in the first place, and that he had willingly offered to be a listening ear.
Hell, he even called them friends.
She leaned her weight against the counter, crossing her arms. “It’s stupid. Probably. But…” 
You can still back out. You don’t have to make a fool of yourself by saying anything.
“I think someone might be watching me.”
Lando went very, very still. Other than that, there was no visible reaction – he only watched her, dark eyes sharp and unreadable.
It was intimidating, to say the least. Maybe she was acting crazy, and now she’d gone ahead and blabbed like some crazy cat lady who wore tin foil hats that thought the government was spying on her and her cats.
She shifted under his gaze, suddenly regretting saying anything. 
What were you expecting? That he’d actually take you seriously? That he’d care?
He kept his expression neutral, tilting his head slightly. “What makes you think that?”
She frowned. “I don’t know. I just—sometimes it feels like there’s someone there. But never when I actually look? And maybe I’m just being paranoid, because nothing’s happened per se, and I haven’t seen anyone exactly, and—” She cut herself off, exhaling sharply as she shook her head as if it’d somehow physically shake off the craziness. “See? Stupid.”
Lando’s grip on his coffee cup tightened for half a second before he forced his hand to relax.
She wasn’t stupid. She was just too damn observant.
She ran a hand over her face, suddenly exhausted. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m just losing my mind.”
“Or maybe you’re smarter than most people.”
She glanced up at him. His expression was unreadable, but there was a certain sharpness to it—a flicker of something knowing.
For a second, she wondered what he knew about being watched.
Before she could even think to say anything about it, however, he leaned forward, elbows on the counter. “It’s not stupid if it’s making you uncomfortable,” he said, his voice calm, even.
“Have you told anyone else?”
She blinked. “No. I mean, who would I even tell?”
He shrugged. “A friend. Family. Your boss.”
She shook her head. “Margot would just worry. And I don’t—” She hesitated. “I don’t have anyone else here, really.”
That made something flicker in his expression. Something almost imperceptible.
She shifted uncomfortably. “Anyway, it’s probably nothing. I should just drop it.”
For over two weeks now, Logan had been tasked with keeping an eye on her, feeding Lando reports—nothing serious, nothing intrusive. Just the usual movements. Her schedule. Who she spoke to. Where she went. It was a precaution, a necessity, but now? 
Now she was picking up on it.
He couldn’t have that – Logan was a professional, after all.
Subtly, he pulled his phone from his pocket, typing out a short message under the counter.
Loosen up. Don’t disappear, but make it less obvious, would you?
He hit send.
“Hey, look–”
Her voice pulled his attention back to her.
Her brow was furrowed, her lips pressed together. “You don’t have to sit here and humor me. I know how it sounds. Like I’m–”
“I don’t think you’re crazy,” Lando said simply.
She blinked. “Oh.”
He leaned back, fingers idly tracing the rim of his cup. “If something’s bothering you, then it’s worth paying attention to.” 
Crystalline green eyes met hers, momentarily taking her breath away with their intensity. “You’re not imagining it,” he added.
She blinked. “How do you know?”
He didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he sat back slightly, drumming his fingers lightly against the counter. Then, in the same easy tone he always used, he said, “I’ll walk you home.”
She hesitated. “I don’t want to be dramatic—”
“You’re not,” he interrupted smoothly.
She blinked.
He leaned back slightly, tilting his head as if weighing his next words carefully. “It’s late when you close up, isn’t it?”
“Yeah…?”
“And you walk home alone?”
She hesitated again before nodding reluctantly.
Lando let out a slow breath, almost like he was holding something back. “That’s not exactly safe, you know.”
She laughed, though it came out a little forced. “Yeah, well. Not all of us can afford a car and a driver.”
His lips twitched, not quite a smirk, but something close to amusement. “So I could walk you home.”
When she shot him a dubious look, he had to sigh. “You finish late. You live alone. Doesn’t hurt to be careful, does it?”
She frowned, shifting her weight. It does make sense, she reasoned with herself. It wasn’t like she wanted to be paranoid. And the truth was, knowing someone was walking with her would probably help her sleep better a bit better at night.
“…I guess not,” she admitted.
His lips curled slightly, like he had expected her to agree. “Good.”
“I can stick around more,” he said, tone even.
She frowned slightly. “What do you mean?”
“Walk you after,” he shrugged. “Make sure you get home safe.”
She laughed, caught off guard. “So now, what, you’re like my bodyguard or something now?”
He smirked. “If you want to call it that.”
He took another sip of his coffee before adding, “I could also give you a ride to your uni if you want. S'not far.”
That caught her off guard. She raised an eyebrow, chuckling incredulously. “What, so now you want to be my personal chauffeur too?”
Lando huffed a quiet laugh. “Don’t push your luck.”
It was easier to joke about it, but underneath it all, she could tell he was being serious. And something about that unsettled her more than she wanted to admit.
But still, the idea of not having to take the bus every morning was appealing...
Noticing her thoughtful expression, he decided to give that extra nudge. “You know. Since we’re friends and all.”
Her lips parted, the words stuck somewhere in her throat.
He’s using my own words against me! How dare he.
Finally, she managed a weak, “I… you really don’t have to.”
“And yet, I’m going to.”
She sighed, rubbing a hand over her face. “You don’t listen, do you?”
“Selective hearing,” he grinned, eyes shining with mischief and dimples on display. He waited for a retort, and when none came, he grinned even wider. “Then it’s settled.”
She frowned. “That’s– That's not how this works, Liam.”
He grimaced inconspicuously at the use of his fake name, but he didn’t argue. Instead, he picked up his coffee again, leaning back slightly, looking entirely too comfortable. “You’re not exactly arguing very hard,” he observed.
She exhaled through her nose, crossing her arms. “Because I know it’s a bad idea to walk alone at night, I just—” She shook her head. “I really don’t want to be a bother.”
He lifted an eyebrow, chuckling lowly. “You insult me. You really think I’d offer if it was a bother?”
She paused, caught off guard by the sincerity. Something about the way he said it made her feel… safe. Certain. Assured.
Not in the way she should feel safe, necessarily. Maybe there was something too composed about him, something about his ease that made her wonder just what kind of man could offer protection like that without the slightest hesitation, as if it was second nature. 
Like nothing in the world would dare touch him.
She sighed, then muttered, “...Fine. I guess, if it makes you feel better...”
Wearing yet another smug expression (or perhaps his face was permanently stuck that way), he nodded like it had been inevitable, but said nothing else.
“Alright then. I’ll wait outside, yeah?”
And just like that, it was settled.
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Lando walked her home.
She tried to tell herself it wasn’t a big deal, that it was just a precaution, that it didn’t mean anything. But there was something about his presence beside her—calm, steady, entirely unbothered—that made her feel safer than she had in days. It was nice not to feel like she had RedBull running in her veins, hyper and on edge.
They didn’t talk much. He let her lead the conversation, responding only when necessary, but never prying. Still, she could feel his eyes subtly scanning their surroundings, always aware.
By the time they reached her apartment building, she felt a little less ridiculous about the whole thing.
“Thanks,” she said awkwardly, shuffling her feet. “For, um. This,” she gestured vaguely to the space around them.
Lando just shrugged. “Anytime.”
Something about the way he said it made her hesitate.
“…I’ll be fine tomorrow, though,” she added quickly. “You really don’t have to—”
“You have class in the morning, don’t you?”
She blinked. “Well yes, but–”
He raised a brow, leaning lazily against the side of her building. “Want a ride?”
Her stomach twisted with something dangerous. “I—”
“Relax,” he said, amused. “I’m not asking for your social security number. M’only offering a ride.”
She huffed, crossing her arms. “Do you always do this?”
“Do what?”
“Just casually offer to drive random girls to school?”
His smirk widened. “Only the ones I’m friends with.”
Friends. There was that word again.
And she really needed to stop liking the sound of it.
“…Okay,” she finally said, sighing. “But only if it’s not out of your way, okay?”
Lando’s lips twitched before letting a chuckle escape. “No.”
That made her even more suspicious.
After a beat, she shook her head, clearly at a loss. “You are very confusing.”
He just smiled.
But when she finally went in, her shoulders were less tense than they had been in a while, a calm beginning to settle where this once was a nagging unease. 
And so she found herself waiting for him the next morning anyway.
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Logan’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He read the message from Lando, his lips twitching slightly in amusement.
She’s caught on after all, huh? Good for her.
From his spot across the street, tucked into the shadows near a parked car, he exhaled and took a step back. Maybe he had been a little too consistent.
Time to switch it up.
Rolling his shoulders, Logan removed the camera strap from around his neck, clicking through the photos he’d captured of her that day—some in the café, others as she left, a few of her walking alone. Satisfied, he set the device in the passenger seat beside him and slid into the driver’s seat. His nondescript Vauxhall Astra eased away from the curb, the hum of its engine fading into the night.
High above, from the rooftop of an adjacent building, another figure remained perfectly still.
Stormy blue eyes peered through the darkness, framed by sharp features and an air of quiet control. Unlike Logan, he didn’t need the shadows to disappear—he belonged to them, woven into the city's fabric as seamlessly as the skyline itself.
A slow smirk curled his lips.
“Well, well,” he murmured, tilting his head. “Look at you.”
Long, pale fingers hovered over the ridged button atop his sleek, black camera. He took his time, watching, analyzing, before pressing down.
Click.
A single frame captured – evidence of a hunter tailing another.
And just like that, George Russell was gone.
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findingyourrootscomic · 5 days ago
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Finding Your Roots- Chapter 12, Page 84 Oh boy, where to begin haha;;;; If you'll allow me to lift my usual authorial silence and ramble... I'll talk about these guys today and Shelly tomorrow. So I originally grouped Team Molten together in the story because they shared an ending. I caught them all around the same time/in the same region, and they died in p quick succession one after another. I caught Ember first in Route 112, Copper in Fiery Pass, and Tuffy later in Jagged Pass. Copper died first, then Ember right behind him. And upon catching Tuffy, I'm p sure she died like less than ten fights later (and I was grinding for Flannery). They were the pokemon of the run who came in quickly and left quickly. Tone-wise and pacing-wise, it was going to be very hard to juggle. I wanted them to at least make some impact before they left. I mean, I had to justify their inclusion in the story SOMEHOW, especially since I wanted every in-game death to also be a story death. No departures in this nuzcomic. Soooo, I stuck them all on a team together. This way I could introduce them all together instead of having to trickle them in one after another. They all already knew each other, so they only had to get acquainted with my main cast and not with one another. I decided all four pokemon who died at this part of the run would all die at the same time, so it could be a one-and-done scene instead of pokemon having to drop dead one after another (which imo would have been much worse tonally). And noting the connection between having two numels and Mantle being a numel, I decided to connect them to Team Magma... and used that connection to give Team HEARTH a newfound investment in the villains. If I was going to have these characters around for a few chapters, I may as well make use of them lol. After that, they became characters. I turned them into wise friends who could help Cedar along in her racial identity crisis. Since Team Molten come from the desert and not racist ass Littleroot, its members would probably have a healthier perception of their race than Cedar would. All of Team Molten was earthen-elementals, so it would've felt like a waste to not connect them to Cedar's arc. It became something for the characters to initially connect over, and Team Molten's help with this stuff allowed Cedar to become better friends with them. It's why they were able to become close in such a small amount of time. Without it, Team Molten might've still felt like strangers by now. With the cast being so big in the desert arc of the comic, it was extremely hard to juggle screentime and lines for everyone. I ended up singling Ember out as a sort of "protagonist" of Team Molten; she ended up carrying the heart of her team's arc. I relate to her somewhat: She deals with abandonment trauma that turned her explosive and angry, and uhhh that's kinda my story too sdfkjghjkfg. She's a character who became pretty dear to me in the short time I've been writing her. But I also love Copper and his nerdy vibe, and Tuffy representing a big sister who could be trusted and relied on. That was especially important with this comic's themes of (found) family. And now, through the deaths of these characters we came to love in the past two years, I will kickstart the entire rest of the story. It couldn't have happened without them, and without what happened to them. Goodnight, Ember, Copper, and Tuffy. I really did want a camerupt in my run but it just did not shake out that way haha;;;. Rest in power, little guys. Last page of the chapter is tomorrow. Next > Cover Content Warnings If you loved Team Molten, please consider supporting me on Patreon!
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everythingisromant1c · 10 months ago
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It's Always Been You - Chapter 12
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james potter x fem!reader
summary - Things hadn't gotten much better with James, and you knew you could only go so long without talking to him—after all, he was still your best friend. But, considering all that'd happened, along with some encouragement from your friends, you knew the time had come to finally admit you wanted more than that.
wc [6.2k]
a/n: alr guys ... very happy and also sad to say this is the last chapter of it's always been you!! :( i've loved every minute of writing this series as well as sharing it (its become my baby atp), and it is definitely because of all the love and support everyone reading has given it. thank u to everyone stuck around to this point, & i hope u guys enjoy this last chapter!! i send all my hugs and kisses <3 - e
all chapters | <- Chapter 11
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It'd been another hour or two until everyone had fully returned from Hogsmeade and dinner was being served in the Great Hall. You finally changed out of your dress and into your everyday clothing again, already feeling better, but that didn't mean you felt good. You didn't think you could feel good when both your brain and heart were hurting like they were. And worst of all, the one person you'd go to in times like these for comfort was the same person you couldn't go to. Not now.
The girls had been doing their best to get your mind off of everything that had happened that day, aside from when Marlene profusely apologized to you for letting Potter hear her outburst in the common room.
"Although, I have to say," she admitted afterward. "I'm not completely sorry for him that he had to hear it. I may be brutal but I never tell a lie."
That fact didn't leave you as you sat with her and Lily in the Great Hall for dinner, a number of seats away from the other Marauders. You recognized with a skip in your heartbeat that James was with them, surprisingly enough since you knew how he was accustomed to skipping meals in the dining hall when he wanted to be alone, a habit you both unfortunately shared. But that didn't mean he was enjoying himself either.
You could see even from your seat down the table that he wasn't saying much, mostly keeping to himself quietly, something so out of character for him yet you'd seen him do it constantly the entire week. You wanted to yell at him and shake him silly, but you also wanted to hug him. When you caught yourself in the midst of those thoughts you turned back to your own spot at the table shamefully.
You tried to force yourself to eat, catching your friends' concerned looks at your full plate, but you didn't feel much like it. Especially not when you still felt maybe a dozen pairs of eyes on you from every corner of the Great Hall.
Even with all that'd happened since just that morning, the rumors and whatever else people had come up with to talk about had not yet been forgotten about by the school like your friends said it would be. Then you thought about whether news had spread of your disastrous date in Hogsmeade, and prayed that nobody had caught wind of that incident either. You didn't think you could handle any more of the staring.
Immediately after you had that thought, you spotted a fifth-year in Ravenclaw robes walking past your table, watching as he blatantly pointed at you as he spoke to his friend, and you looked down at your plate with hardened eyes.
You heard Marlene scoff from next to you. "Hey!" she called to the boy. "Didn't your mother ever tell you it was rude to point?"
The fifth-year didn't respond to her but looked to his friend, hurriedly taking a seat at his own table, his whispers being drowned out in the loudness of the dining hall.
Marlene fumed from next to you. "I can't believe these people. Are they really that bored with their own lives that they're so obsessed with a bloody rumor?"
You shook your head toying with your fork. "Just ignore them. That's what I've settled on doing."
She sighed from beside you and you thought that'd be the end of everything, until you heard gasps from down the table. You looked up and followed the sounds and were met with a sight not even the magic of Hogwarts could've prepared you for.
James—your James—had stood up on the bench he'd once been sitting in, and you thanked Merlin he wasn't standing fully on the table; though you had absolutely no idea what he could possibly be up to, you knew it couldn't be anything good. He cupped a hand to his mouth as your heartrate picked up.
"Can I have everyone's attention?"
He didn't have to ask twice for it. His voice boomed out loudly, something that seemed to come naturally to him, and the noise in the Great Hall had died out in a mere second until it was almost completely silent—quiet enough for you to hear the beating of your heart in your chest as you looked up at him. Your throat went dry.
"Not that it's any of anyone's business," he started confidently to the hundreds of eyes now looking at him, tone nothing but sober. "But nothing happened in the broom closet. Or in the locker room."
You felt the churning in your stomach claw up into your throat, then felt it drop back down, keeping you stationed in your seat. He didn't give much context to his declaration, but with the popularity of the topic amongst the school, it didn't seem like he needed to. His voice almost seemed to echo, all other noises drowning out as everyone stared up at him. James looked around the entire room appearing completely unafraid and you didn't know how the hell he did it; you probably looked more fearful than him.
"So," he began again, "I don't want to see or hear anyone talking about those rumors any longer. And if anyone has a problem with that, they can answer to me. Alright?"
Of course, nobody said anything then, but you could see in their eyes that they were going to listen to him. Or at least, they'd make sure they didn't get caught going against him. Maybe it was from his impenetrably confident voice or his respected status around the school, you weren't sure, but he had that unique effect on people in an almost effortless way.
When it was clear he'd gotten his point across, he scanned his eyes over the sea of students until they found yours. In a dizzying way, it felt like you were the only two in the room for a moment, as cliché as the thought sounded in your head.
You didn't know what had motivated him to do what he did, but you could see in his eyes something fragile that juxtaposed the self-assured look they'd had only seconds ago. He looked away again and stepped back down to floor level once more, not taking a moment before striding out of the Great Hall, his form disappearing seconds after.
Even without his physical presence, his action seemed to linger over the room for a moment more before chatter broke out once again. You were still frozen in place, not knowing if moving would finalize the idea that whatever just happened was real and not just part of some wild dream.
Marlene had confirmed that it definitely had happened, however, when she turned to you with her jaw dropped, an amazed but delighted sparkle in her eye. "Someone tell me you saw that too."
"Oh we saw it," rang Lily, who also looked much too happy about that fact, probably just relieved James's antics weren't centered on her for once. You could see them both staring at you expectantly, waiting for you to react. You could also see the boys in your peripheral, the three of them remaining at the table searching your face for a reaction.
Yet, all you could do was stand up and walk hurriedly towards the exit. Dozens of conversations rushed past your ears as you did, a blur of remarks ranging from "Potter's lost it" to "He's so bloody fit." Whatever they were saying, you noted with gratefulness in the back of your mind that none of the conversations were about you.
You reached the doorway and stopped once you were a safe distance away in the hallway, heaving breaths in for a moment to yourself before finding that you weren't alone. All of your friends had followed you without blinking an eye, and you didn't know whether you found it endearing or inconvenient. Though, to be fair, you didn't know where you were going. You just knew you couldn't sit there and pretend as if nothing had happened.
You blinked at the three boys who neared you with puzzled looks on each of their faces. "Did you guys know anything about this?"
"No," promised Sirius. "In fact, James has hardly said anything to us since this morning."
You shook your head to yourself, feeling breathless. "I can't ... believe he would do that."
"Really?" Lily stared at you. "I mean, it's Potter we're talking about. It's exactly something he would do."
You couldn't fight the smile that tugged on the corners of your lips even as you shook your head. You ran a hand over your hair as the blonde from next to you hit you in the shoulder.
"Well? What are you waiting for?" You frowned over at her as she stared at you expectantly. "Go to him."
You stilled, gaping at her. "What?"
"Go to him. Do I have to spell it out for you?"
You tipped your head at her like it would help you understand her better, parting your drying lips. "I thought you said he was a selfish git." You heard Remus snort from beside you.
"I did, sure," reasoned Marlene, not without a hint of pride. "But only because I thought he was ruining your chances of moving on now that you were over him. But seriously, I can see your face when you look at him." She shook her head. "That's not the look of someone who wants to move on."
Your eyes flickered over her face as she spoke, an infinite number of thoughts overtaking you. In the silence of your thinking, a Hufflepuff boy walked past the six of you in the hallway, staring all the while.
"What are you looking at?" snapped Marlene, turning to him without missing a beat. "Did you not just hear Potter?"
Like he'd heard him loud and clear, and also like he was scared of Marlene, he hurried away with his head bent forward. Satisfied, the blonde turned back to you. At your conflicted expression, she asked, "Well?"
You chewed on the inside of your cheek. "It's just that," you began, not even knowing where you were going with your rambling. "I've spent so long trying to get over him. It's not fair to myself to just forget all of that, and it definitely wasn't fair to Sebastian-"
"For Merlin's sake," cut in Lily, to your surprise. "You keep talking about what's fair and what's unfair, but what about you? What do you want?"
You stared at her, beginning to feel breathless under the eyes of all your friends. "It's not just about what I want. It's not that simple."
"But what if it is?" she questioned. "I know how difficult this has all been for you. And I know you said Potter doesn't just get to realize his feelings for you and suddenly be with you, that it doesn't work like that. But what if it does?" She raised her hands at her sides. "Not everything is a perfect story to tell. Especially not when it comes to you two. It's not every day you fall in love with your best friend and he finally sees that he's fallen for you too. Are you seriously going to let him go because of some made-up system of rules?"
Your breath was becoming staggering now, and you didn't know what to think, because everything they were telling you sounded so right.
"I don't know," you began unsurely. "Of course, I don't want to lose him. Not talking to him for the past week has been harder than I ever could've imagined. I don't even know what it would feel like to have to do it for longer than I already have been." You blinked down at your shoes, truly realizing those things at the same rate you said them. "I think I just ... miss him."
"Of course you miss him." Marlene looked at you sympathetically. "That's why I think you should go tell all this to him."
You felt bile rising in your throat. "I don't even know if he'd want to see me after all we've said to each other."
"Are you joking?" Remus butted in exasperatedly. "Prongs is bloody in love with you. Can't you see that?"
"Remus," you warned softly because you didn't know how much more of this hope you could take before you did something you'd regret.
"I'm telling the truth." His voice was heavy with meaning. "Maybe it took him a while to realize it himself, but the rest of us have had to sit back and watch you both act like you don't have feelings for each other for years. Believe me, the only reason he's in his room right now and not with you is because he thinks that's what you want."
Your brows pinched. "You can't truly know that."
"Really?" he laughed. "What do you think we talked about that night Vance asked you out?"
Your expression faltered and you forced yourself to think back to the night James had begun acting distant from you, though it wasn't difficult to, the storyline of it all clicking into place in your head.
"You," breathed Remus. "We talked about you."
"Not to mention," Sirius added, "we're the ones who've had to spend every night in our dorm listening to him bitch and moan about Vance this and Vance that." You swallowed at your friends' words, but they didn't quit.
"And we know James was being a right idiot today," Sirius insisted honestly. "But you should've seen him this morning right after you two argued. He was heartbroken. More than he'd ever been over Evans." He turned to the redhead in question. "No offense, Evans."
Lily rolled her eyes lightheartedly. "Trust me, Black, none taken."
He nodded and turned back to you swiftly. "So for you to think that James would want anything other than to fix things with you and just be with you is bloody mental."
You stared at all of your friends who were looking so determinedly back at you that you didn't think you could tell them 'no' now. But still, your feet didn't budge.
"It's not just that," you almost whispered. "I guess I'm just ... scared. What if it goes wrong and we get into some ridiculous fight again? What then?"
Marlene took a hold of your shoulders, slightly scaring you in her resoluteness. "Potter just stood up and yelled at the entire bloody school and you're trying to tell us you'rescared?" She shook you a little, and your friends smirked from behind her. "Be a Gryffindor for Godric's sake! Go to him!"
Before you could say anything more, she was turning you around and shoving you a little until you had the momentum you needed to take steps toward the Gryffindor common room. You made it all the way up the nearest set of steps before you paused, turning back to your friends with a grateful smile.
"Thank you, you guys." You expected them to share the sweet moment with you, but they only rolled their eyes.
"Go, woman!" Sirius groaned, and you rolled your eyes back at them, but it lacked any real annoyance.
You didn't know exactly what you were planning on doing, but you didn't have time to think about it because your legs were carrying you speedily through the halls in your anxious state and wouldn't let you stop until you reached the portrait entrance to the Gryffindor common room. Taking a steadying breath in, you said the password and entered the room.
With everyone else still being at dinner in the Great Hall, it wasn't exactly difficult to find James. He sat in the common room, his brunette head of curls visible to you in the low light. They covered the majority of his face that you could see, his head tipped downwards with his elbows resting on his knees. That changed within the blink of an eye as you entered the room, his head swiftly lifting until he locked eyes with you, and you had to fight a shiver at the feeling it sent shuddering through you.
He seemed to think you were just going to go to your own dorm and ignore him, and he averted his eyes to look somewhere else, maybe the fireplace, until you left—but you didn't. You only walked closer to him until you were separated by only one of the couches, the distance still small enough to make your breathing quicken.
At the soundlessness of your stilled footsteps, James looked back up and met your eyes again, and he swallowed. Clearly, he hadn't expected you to make any move to talk to him that night, even after the scene he'd made in the Great Hall. The problem was that you hadn't expected yourself to either, and now you didn't know what you wanted to say first, because there were certainly a million things you had to make sure he knew.
"Thank you," you said, because you figured it was a good place to start. He nodded up at you, his eyes not revealing much of anything, but you didn't let that sway you. "You didn't have to do that, you know."
"Of course I did." His voice was stubborn, but too sincere for how little his expression gave away.
You looked down at your feet, letting a moment pass before speaking again. "Well, now it seems like everyone is going to be talking about you from now on."
"That doesn't matter to me." James's voice cut through the air richly, and when you looked back up from the floor he was staring at you meaningfully. "They can say whatever the hell they want. As long as they're not talking about you."
Your shoulders dropped at his words, and the way he held your eyes as he said them made your heart beat faster in your chest. It hadn't even been a full day since you'd last spoken to him, but you already missed him.
"They wouldn't leave you alone," he said concretely, his tone beginning to fill with emotion. "And then, I heard what Marlene said in the common room, about some girl harassing you in the library? I-" he shook his head frustratedly, rubbing at his forehead with one of his hands. "I'm just mad at myself that I've let it go on for this long. Or that I didn't even know that happened."
You already felt too emotional for your liking, the feelings inside of you swirling more aggressively at every word he said to you. "It's not like it's your fault, James."
"Well it's not like I did much to stop it, did I?" He seemed genuinely angry at himself now, and you didn't know what you could do to help. A painful lump was rising in your throat, but you stayed rooted in your spot behind the sofa. "And I'd ask you why you didn't come and tell me, but that'd be a bloody stupid question."
He shook his head, eyes becoming wistful like he was recalling a memory, one that pained him. "Earlier, when Marlene was defending you in the common room, the look on your face was ... I don't know. Crushed. Sad."
You swallowed at the memory, because that had been exactly how you were feeling, amongst thousands of other ways. James looked down at his lap.
"I just wanted to try and help, do anything to make that look on your face go away, but I couldn't. So I just kept replaying how you looked in my head, and the more I thought about it, the more I hated myself because I realized you were only hurting because of me. And that was the worst part. Realizing that it was all my fault."
You felt yourself wanting to take a step towards him, wanting to just reach out to him as the tips of your fingers teemed with the longing you felt in your chest. "James," you began, your voice hushed. "It's not all your fault."
You meant it. To try and say to yourself that you had no part in all the confusion between the two of you would be a blatant lie, one that you couldn't let James go on believing, especially not with the pained look on his face.
He only shook his head at you. "It is," he insisted. "And here you go, being perfect towards me when I don't deserve it." A muscle worked overtime in his jaw. "Marlene was right. I was being selfish, and petty, and a lot of other things, but most importantly, I wasn't being a good friend." He paused, a grieving confliction tugging at his brow. "That's ... that's not what friends do."
You went still then too, the word 'friend' hanging in the air between you with a weight that only made you tired. The truth was that cobwebs had grown in the house where you'd fostered that unforgiving title, and it felt like some intangible force had locked you both inside with it blindly.
"Yeah, well," you began, your voice small, "we've been doing plenty of things that friends don't do, lately.Like you said, we kissed, right?" You let out a breathy sound like a laugh that lacked any joy, and the way James's eyes flickered up at you knocked the rest of the air right out of you.
"About that," he began hesitantly, and you could tell he was thinking about both the night it'd happened and that morning when you'd fought, just like you were. "I know you don't want that to mean anything, so it- ... it doesn't have to. Even if I want it to. Because it doesn't matter what I want—what matters to me is you."
You were thankful you had the couch next to you to brace a hand on, because you'd never felt so swept up by a conversation and you weren't sure how much longer you could stand the way your heart was nagging at you.
"You were right," swore James, but the slight shake of his eyes back and forth on your face didn't look as adamant as he sounded. "It's not fair for me to expect something from you when you already got over me."
The words you'd shouted at him in Hogsmeade that morning sounded foreign and wrong coming from his lips, and you knew the months of dishonesty that laced them like you knew the back of your hand.
"And it's too late now, I get that." His voice went from deep and determined to on the cusp of breaking, and it killed you. "I just want to know that you're happy, and if being happy means being with Vance instead of me, then ... I can deal with that."
You watched as he swallowed, like he was forcing the words to come from his lips even if it pained him. The way he hadn't broken eye contact with you the whole while was starting to make your head spin.
Your blinking sped up, maybe holding back the emotion you knew you was fighting to come out, and you whispered, "James."
Maybe you hadn't been loud enough, or maybe he just knew you'd try to disagree with him again, but he only continued determinedly at you.
"I know I probably went and ruined your chances with Vance, like an idiot, but I'm going to do whatever it takes to get you another date with him." He nodded at you once firmly, and within a second he was standing up, taking an intentional step forward. "Hell, I'll even go talk to him right now and-"
"James," you called again, louder this time. "Stop."
You put a hand out and it landed on his arm softly but firmly, and all you could was pray you could find the right words to say to him as he stared at you, level with you now in an unsteadying way.
"You didn't ruin my chances with Sebastian. It wouldn't have worked out regardless, even if I'd wanted it to. Because being with him isn't what I want." You shook your head, recalling back what James had said to you only moments before. "He wouldn't have made me happy." You sounded desperate now. "He's not you."
James stilled, his glistening eyes the only thing showing movement as they danced across your face intensely, though you saw them widen with something bright like hope. "What?"
The confusion of the word that he'd practically whispered out unspeakably attested to how you felt yourself, the terrain of the land you were exploring right there and then with James uncharted and rocky. You pushed on, knowing there was no going back now.
"Marlene wasn't completely right, James. She only said all of those things because I'd spent all this time trying to convince her—and myself—that I didn't still have feelings for you. But I do, clearly." You tipped your head down for a moment in exasperation and exhaustion, willing yourself to keep going. "Everyone can see it. All of our friends. Hell, even Sebastian could see it." You laughed, though your eyes were growing blurry. "So for me to try to push those feelings down any longer would just be lying to you and to myself." You let out an exasperated breath. "And I'm so sick of lying."
Your shoulders sunk as you stood there, a steadily shrinking distance between you and James that was both comforting and daunting to you. You couldn't do anything but watch as James's face stilled and then shifted as he thought, studying your own face in a way that made you conscious of every shift in your expression.
"I just," he began, and then raked a hand through his hair. "Why did you feel like you needed to hide how you felt in the first place?"
You felt your mouth go dry at the question—one you knew came only out of a desperate curiosity and nothing else—and your mind began spinning. The last few years of your friendship seemed to swirl in your head, flickering in and out of focus as you tried to come up with an answer.
"I-" you began, willing yourself to say something, anything at all. "I was scared." The words rang true so much that they made your heart pinch. "Scared that you wouldn't feel the same and I'd go and ruin everything. That I'd lose you."
James's hands lifted up from his sides like he wanted to reach out to you, and he did. He took your hand in his, grasping lightly at your fingertips in a touch that steadied you and made you feel lightheaded at the same time. He shook his head at you with a firm hold in his brow.
"You could never lose me."
His lips were parted, and his hazel eyes glistened over in the low common room lighting like the thought of your suggestion was painful enough on its own. Looking at him then, his face lined with years of a comforting, steadying familiarity, you knew deep in your chest that what he said was true. But that didn't alter all that you'd felt for the past number of years.
"It's not just that," you said, looking down at his hand that held yours and blinking away the guilt that crept into your stomach, because it wasn't James's fault that you had felt this way. "Even in Hogsmeade, James." Your voice was becoming unsteady again and it only frustrated you more. "What if everything you said you felt for me was just some spur-of-the-moment thing from some kiss? What if you didn't feel the same way a week from now? Or a month? I knew I wouldn't be able to get over that fear. Especially when I'd been hiding how I felt from you for years. And then there were your feelings for Lily to think about and ... I don't know."
You trailed off, finally able to stop yourself. You felt petty, so petty, because you were so close to getting what you knew your heart wanted, but you felt the insistent need to ruin things for yourself and think of every way things could go wrong. You'd never felt closer to James then, but also never farther away. All you could do was stand there and wait for him to say something, anything.
James stayed unmoving for a beat staring at you, wordlessly taking everything in with a fragility in the air that hallowed your labored breathing. Then he started to shake his head like he was in disbelief. He ran a hand through his brown hair.
"For Merlin's sake."
His voice was low, a mutter, and he stared at the ground for a moment in thought before dropping the hand that once held yours, turning and walking away from you, leaving up the steps to his dorm room. You watched his back as he disappeared, your fingertips feeling cold and empty.
You felt your blinking speed up in a dizzying confusion. You didn't know what had come over you, not even sure exactly what you'd said in all of your desperate rambling that had made him decide to leave, but your vision started to blur even more than it already had until you recognized the wetness forming beside your eyes.
Nothing made sense. Not then, and not in the last twenty-four hours. You moved until you were sitting down on the couch in front of you, feeling lightheaded as the fireplace crackled a few feet away. The light from outside had left with the sun and the room had a comforting kind of warm lighting, though even that did little to soothe you as you sat there with all the unresolved feelings within you.
You were confused and lost and wanted nothing more than to just fix things, but you were even more at a loss for words when you heard quick footsteps coming from the staircase James had left from, and then saw his returning form making its way down the steps.
You turned your head to him swiftly in confusion, following him and his soft but energetic steps as he came to sit next to you, and that was when you noticed he was holding something—a box. One that was tattered on the corners, its black fabric aged and dusting over.
You wiped at your eyes quickly, brows tugging in all your bewilderment as you waited for James to explain.
"I-" he began, and stopped as soon as his eyes focused more on your face. You must've looked as broken as you felt, and at seeing the look on your face, he held one of your hands in his before swiping across your cheek gently with the pad of his thumb.
You felt like wilting under his soft touch that you'd missed more than anything in the confusing weeks, mentally and physically exhausted from everything but still wanting more than anything to understand.
When you looked perhaps more stable, he looked back at the box that he'd set down beside him and placed it on his lap delicately as he spoke, his words echoing out slowly.
"I know you think I've just realized my feelings for you a week ago, and that they came from some kiss at a party. But, you have to believe me when I say that they're so much more than that." He placed the box in your hands, and you took it from him with a note of fragility, resting it atop your legs. His eyes bore into yours, like it would break him if you couldn't understand the words leaving his lips. He took a shaky breath in. "I need you to know, more than anything, that you're everything to me. You always have been."
Your lips began to shake at the earth-shattering words coming from your best friend's lips. "James, what-"
He stopped you with a gesture of his head that told you to look inside the box, and you did. Carefully, you lifted the flimsy cardboard top and placed it to the side, brows pulling together tight and something loud and hearty threatening to pull from your chest. You shook your head as tears began to well over your eyes again as you recognized what James had given you.
The box, the measly and old mess of cardboard and paper, was full of all the letters you'd written to him over the years—all the thank you notes, the letters you'd sent him from that summer and all the past ones—every single one of them. Your eyes raked over each of them when you felt too stunned to use your hands, but your heart still felt touched by the memories of each one all the same. It took everything in you not to release the sob you felt rising in your lungs.
"It's you. It's always been you."
James's eyes never left your face as you took everything in, the look behind them never having seemed so determined, so desperate. But there was something behind the way he looked at you, something so warm and honest, so familiar that you felt ridiculous for never noticing it before. And when your gaze flickered downward for a second in contemplation he tipped his head to follow it endearingly.
"Always," he promised. "Not Evans, not anyone else. I know I'm a bloody idiot, and I know I haven't been great at showing my emotions when it comes to you, but that's because it's you, and you mean everything to me and have since we were kids, and if this can't make you see that then I promise I'll spend every day trying to make up for it, and-"
"James." You stopped him, not knowing how much longer you could take sitting next to him and not getting rid of the frustrated crease between his brows, or how much longer you could ignore the thrum of your heart that called out to him so clearly now.
"Yeah?" he asked, and his eyes were like a deer in headlights. The warmth in their color reflected the simmering warmth from the fireplace, but that didn't compare to the fire that lay behind his gaze.
You placed the box, his box of the last six years of your friendship and then some, atop the couch next to you, and didn't wait another second before engulfing him in a hug. Your body crashed into his as he leaned back against the couch, his hands coming up to embrace you right away, and you heard him breathe a smile by your ear before he laughed, a perfect noise.
You felt like laughing then too, and crying, and everything else, because you couldn't remember the last time you'd gotten to hold him like this without the fear of revealing too much to him nagging at you. Your cheek pressed against his neck, his curls fanned against the top of your head, his hands held you tight, and you never wanted to leave the safety of his arms. Except to do one thing.
You pulled away from the hug and so did James after a second, his eyes wide and glistening but truly happy. He was smiling widely, his lopsided grin appearing after days like the sun after a storm, and you loved the sight more than anything, locking it away in the back of your mind as a memory you'd keep forever, like the box that sat next to you.
You laid a hand on his chest, another on his cheek, and James grasped the one that was flattened on his chest in his own, quickly glancing down at your hand in his like he couldn't believe he was holding it. He pulled you into him with it and leaned his head on yours.
"It's always been you, too," you whispered, and his eyes glanced down at your lips as you said the quiet words that'd been lingering on your lips for much too long. You had to push away your smile because you were aching to just kiss him like you'd wanted to for years. With a courage that could've only come from Godric himself, you finally did.
You leaned in until your lips met, a flutter of skin dancing shyly together until you leaned into him even further, and suddenly it felt like the crash of a wave, and sounded like the earth was moving beneath your feet, the sound of something right—and this time, you knew it felt the same for him too, because you could feel his boyish grin that you'd spent years admiring tugging against your lips.
You were kissing your best friend. For real this time. It felt so impossible for your mind to imagine such a thing, but luckily it didn't have to.
James moved his hands but they never left you, one sliding through your hair smoothly and one delicately holding your waist like you were something fragile. Butterflies fluttered through you at his touch, something familiar but foreign, wrong but also right, and somessilyperfect. You couldn't believe you'd spent all those years just a few words away from getting to feel it, getting to be surrounded by it.
You pulled away after a moment, your lips feeling puffy and burning with the heat of his kiss, but all you could think about was how free you felt, how happy you were that he was finally yours.
James looked down at you, his eyes dancing all across your face and stopping on your lips, and then somehow growing even warmer when they met yours again.
"I can't-" he began with a slight disbelieving shake of his head, voice coming out breathless and dazed as heat flushed into your own cheeks at the sight. "I can't believe..."
You laughed, feeling out of breath too, and adjusted the glasses that now perched crookedly on James's nose in an agonizingly cute way.
"Me neither," you finished for him, because you knew just how he felt, a secret the both of you shared; it was the only secret you still wanted to keep.
And it was a feeling you never wanted to have to live without again. Though now, with him in your arms and his familiar chocolate curls still brushing against your forehead, you knew you would never have to.
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damn-stark · 11 months ago
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Chapter 12 The Siren’s trick
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Chapter 12 of Moonlight
A/N- Welcome back Margaery Tyrell and Sansa Stark
Warning- Swearing, talks of death, and sexual harassment, ANGST!!, fluff, SPOILERS, ser gwayne (tehe), LONG CHAPTER.
Pairing- Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!fem-reader, Cregan Stark x Velaryon!fem-reader
Episode- Only part of 2x03
(If you want to be tagged let me know)
————
—Cregan this might be a cold continuation from what I was previously writing, but it cannot be helped. I did not want to leave you waiting, and I did not want you to hear rumors about me. And really, you are the only person I can tell what I’m about to say.
This will be my first and last letter. I am returning to King’s Landing, to infiltrate the Greens on Daemon’s behalf. I did not want to, I had told my mother I was not going, but just tonight they sent someone to kill her in her sleep, she got saved, but I cannot stay here and do nothing when I can be on the other side and be the thing she needs to win this war.
I might be killed, or I might not. I do not know, it’s a risk I am willing to take for my Queen. And if I am killed and this is the last time I ever talk to you, thank you. For everything…
I left my mother a note, I apologized for leaving and bestowing her with even more worry. I told her that I’m willing to do anything to help her get her throne back. Yet the one thing I did not tell her was how scared I am to return.
I’m terrified. I’m truly terrified. I knew fear, I felt it when I was in labor, but this fear I feel now is new, grander, and more horrifying, but it’s my duty to leave and help my Queen even if I have to leave behind all that I ever wanted.
I hope we see each other again. Take care of your boy.
Love, yours truly, your Darling.
“I know I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you apologize to Aerion as he begins to whine after being woken up when you take him from his cradle. “<But we’re going to see your father, hm?>” You try to assure him Valyrian so the guards outside don’t hear and go alert your brother or your mother.
And even if you don’t think Aerion would quite understand what you offer him in return for waking him up, he actually smiles faintly in response before he settles against your chest as you cradle him against you.
Luckily the guards don’t question why you’re taking your child out so late at night, they don’t care that you’re dressed in a different gown than the one you just wore earlier. They watch you scurry away in a hurry without as much as a single comment which will probably get them in trouble with your mother when she finds out you're gone, but they don’t know you’re disobeying her and sneaking off Dragonstone to go into enemy territory.
No one knows, you told no one to make it easier on you
and on them, and also so nobody would try to stop you; even if not so deep below the surface you’re hoping someone will catch you rushing down the corridors and stop you. You don’t want to leave, you don’t want to be under Aegon’s rule now that he’s king and no one can truly tell him what to do. Before he would already get away with commenting stupid shit when Aemond wasn’t around you, and your friend and handmaiden Vanessa was spared from his tactics because you would tell him to leave her alone, but now that he has superior control and power?
But then there’s also Aemond. You don’t want to face Aemond. You don’t want to look into his eye and pretend you’re okay with the heartbreak he caused you and your family. You don’t want to sleep next to the man who killed your brother, and no matter the gaping hole in your chest, you don’t want to let him touch you in the most intimate way. Most importantly you don’t want to leave your family again. You want to stay, you want to fight amongst them.
You want someone to catch you mid-escape and stop you.
Someone. Anyone.
You get closer and closer to the cave's mouth where the dragons come and go, where you’ll find Astraea and Vanessa waiting, and still, no one comes out from the darkness of their rooms, and no guards question why you’re strapping Aerion to your chest as you rush down the corridors.
You’re only paces away. Moments from reaching your dragon, and finally you run into a presence.
“Grandmother,” you mouth breathlessly and finish securing your child’s straps.
Your grandmother looks you up and down, realizing your gown is not one used to sleep, and Aerion is too secure around you to just be heading for a stroll. You’re up to something and she’s the only one to notice.
“Granddaughter,” she greets and glances out the window in the distance to double-check that it is in fact still nightfall. “Why are you not abed?”
You swallow thickly and even if you hope she stops you in your attempts, you interject with your argument. “The Queen got attacked by Ser Arryk, who pretended to be his twin.”
Your grandmother nods. “I heard. That’s why I am here. Is her Grace all right?”
You nod lightly. “Shaken, but okay…I have to do this,” you continue blurting in your defense. “I have to do what Daemon told me to do in hopes that it will be my mother's path to her rightful throne.”
Your grandmother nods again but this time it’s a much more gentle nod as her face fills with concern yet also shows slivers of pride.
“I don’t want to return to King’s Landing, I don’t want her to feel like I abandoned her, but if it stops more of the people I love from dying or getting hurt, and if it gets her on that throne then I have to try,” you share without making it a question because under your hesitation you believe what you say.
“Don't stop me,” you lie and internally shout the opposite with tears clouding your eyes, but not falling because you fight them back to try and look confident. “It’s the right thing to do. And I’m the only one who can do it.”
Your grandmother holds your gaze and right away reads you like a book; she sees your fear, she notices how you plead with your eyes to be stopped, but she also sees your desperation to help, she sees your determination, and your hunger to do more. She sees a warrior, a woman she’s proud of, and she can’t say no to that because she knows that beyond all that fear you’re desperate to help.
“They’re snakes,” she speaks sweetly but with confidence so you could feel the same. “And you’re a dragon. Always remember that.”
You draw in a deep breath and nod slowly. She approaches you and grabs your face, making you look her in the eyes and see the pride she feels for you.
“If you ever find yourself in trouble send me a raven or whatever it is you can. Meleys and I will be there as soon we can, okay?”
You nod in comprehension and grab a hold of her hands as if your life depends on it.
“I love you, grandmother. I will see you again,” you muster to say with a tender smile and no tears.
“I love you too,” she redirects as she caresses your cheeks. “Be careful.”
After one last lingering look you pull away before you’re caught by someone who will stop you, and step out into the cave still hoping the same, but feeling more empowered now to leave and play your part.
The feeling of being so close to the stars does have a way of calming the nervousness that has your hands trembling and ties your stomach into knots. The sight of the glimmering sea basked by the moon's light does help you escape your terrorizing fear and feel at peace, like all you’re doing is taking a late night flight, admiring the stars from the heavens, and answering the sea's call. It's easy to find your resolution in the tranquility, now rather than panic, the belief that your path will lead you right back to Jacaerys, your mother, your grandparents, and your cousins makes you feel at ease over your choice. This is also why you’re leaving, after all, to be with them in a better world.
Yet just as your breaths are calm, and your heart eases to its normal resting beat, the moment you see the crowded and lively city, the large castle on that cliff, and notice all the eyesores that are the Scorpions aligned the top of the wall, your stomach twists tighter to the point you feel like vomiting, your heart pounds faster, and your chest tightens which is a new and unwelcoming change.
“DRAGON!” You hear the echoes of men coming from below as they all work hard to point the scorpions at Astraea calmly coming to a stop so they don’t have the audacity to shoot her.
“Vanessa,” you say and peer over your shoulder. “Wave the white flag so they know we’re no trouble.”
You then glance down at your aware child and caress the back of his little head. “<We’re almost to your father, okay?>” You whisper to Aerion before you press a light feathered kiss on his head. “<You should be sleeping though, hm?>”
Aerion has learned to blow raspberries thanks to his uncle's Viserys and Aegon, so he responds with spit all over your chest.
“<Lovely,>” you mutter, but then again it beats getting peed on. Which he has done, a lot, luckily most times Aemond is the victim of his son's incidents.
“Okay,” Vanessa steals your attention as she grabs onto one of your shoulders to wave the white flag you made sure to bring for this exact purpose.
However, in the midst of waving the flag of peace, and while some guards hesitantly drop their threatening aim, a large arrow is shot at Astraea unbeknownst to you or Vanessa. It comes whizzing at you as the flag continues to be waved in the sky, but luckily, thanks to the gods, Astraea notices the arrow coming at her from the corner of her watchful eye and jolts down before taking a sharp turn.
You let out a shocked gasp whilst also becoming alert of all your surroundings, and Vanessa throws herself on your back to keep herself secured.
The arrow aimed at your dragon's neck luckily flies past you and her thanks to your dragon's efforts, yet missing doesn’t spare your dragon's fury that mirrors yours.
“<Stupid idiots,> you grimace and snap your glare at the men who are to blame, finding them confused but also alert. They don’t see your piercing glare, but your dragon mirrors it before she lets out a loud and furious guttural roar.
“<Astraea,” you call out and lean down as much as you can to caress her side. “Calm down. Calm down, girl.>” you coo in High Valyrian in hopes she’ll listen, but she’s too clouded with anger, after all, she knows you didn’t come with intentions of fighting, and she knows that Vanessa and baby Aerion are straddled on her so she begins to circle around as she shakes her head and keeps throwing out angry shrieks.
“<Astraea,” you call again without losing your patience. “calm down. Calm down. We’re okay. You saved us. We’re okay, calm down girl.>”
Astraea finishes her circle and opens her mouth, letting out low chitters as she prepares to blast out fire at the men responsible.
“<Calm,” you coo and pat her. “Calm, my girl. We’re fine. We’re safe. Calm.>”
Astraea slowly closes her mouth and peers over to meet your gaze and assure herself that you and those with you are fine.
“<We’re okay,>” you assure her and pass her the same emotion with your eyes.
Astraea holds your gaze for a moment longer before she looks ahead at the same time you do.
“Are you okay, Vanessa?” You make sure to ask in the common tongue as you let out a deep and relieved breath.
“Yes, Princess,” she assures you. “Aerion?”
You glance down at your son and see him smiling which probably means he found Astraea’s antics amusing.
“He’s fine,” you say with relief of your own and caress the back of his head while noticing that all the guards now drop their aim and depart from the Scorpions, letting you push your handles forward to nudge Astraea down.
Nevertheless, when Astraea is descending to the ground, just past the Iron Gate, all those nervous and uneasy feelings come rushing back after you were rattled with fear and anger over acts of stupid people who don’t know what white flags mean.
When your feet hit the ground though, and you see castle guards already waiting for you by the gates, all those feelings that overwhelm you, increase tenfold. Now your blood pumps so hard that it interferes with your sight.
“I have renounced the…false Queen Rhaenyra,” you hide the strain in your voice as you say words you don’t mean, before also saying words that actually hurt you to say. “I have come to pledge my loyalty to King Aegon.”
The guards look at one another with confusion so you interject. “Where is Ser Criston Cole? Why is he not here to greet me?”
A commander steps forward and raises his head before he fills their silence without giving you the answer you sought. “Give us your weapons, Princess, and come with us.”
You shrug the satchel of arrows and your bow off your shoulders before grabbing your gown's skirt and pulling it up, making the man look away and miss the dagger you had strapped around your thigh. Once he sees the weapon land at his feet he meets your gaze again.
“I request an audience with the King, and my husband,” you demand with your nose in the air as the men pick up your weapons.
“They were alerted of your arrival,” the guard says and steps back to point ahead.
Before you walk past the gates you scoff and sass him. “Was my husband alerted of the incompetence of your men on the wall, Ser? A white flag means what?”
The man swallows thickly and lowers his head as he doesn’t hesitate to answer. “Surrender or a request for parley.”
You feign a dry laugh and nod. “Yes, yet an arrow was shot at my dragon whilst my son and my handmaiden rode with me. I will have all the names of the squadron who shot that arrow.”
The guard nods and steals a glance back at your dragon still behind you, growling as she watches for any wrong moves that might be made.
“Come with us, Princess,” the guard finally guides you forward and you’re hastily helped in a carriage that rushes you inside the castle walls where you’re immediately repulsed by the green and gold banners that are plastered everywhere.
The sight of them actually saves you from your torment, but only for a little because once you’re inside you’re slammed with all your emotions and you can’t help how your eyesight only seems to focus on what’s directly ahead of you. Everything else is swallowed by darkness as all your senses falter, and your heart and blood pound.
A part of you immediately expects to get ambushed once you walk into the throne room, and another part of you fears being greeted by Aemond alone because you know he won’t delay, he would come straight down the moment he was told of your sudden and ominous arrival. You would worry over Aegon, but it’s still dark out, and you can’t imagine he dropped all his temptations because he was bestowed with a great purpose, so you know for certain he won’t be waiting for you upon the throne.
Nonetheless, when you hold Vanessa’s hand in anticipation and approach the welcoming throne room, all you actually see is an empty hall and an empty seat.
Hundreds of candles light the hall, but it doesn’t make the throne room feel less unsettling. You once used to feel unbothered by the great room, after all, this was your home, you knew the meaning this room held, but you could never say you felt awe. It was another room. Now though, you feel uneasy like, when you walk into a stranger's home. Most of the hall has remained unchanged, besides the banners and large statue of your grandfather King Viserys in construction, but besides that, it's remained the same. Yet you can’t help but feel at odds.
You don’t like the ill feeling, you don’t like that besides the guards and Vanessa, the throne room is lonely. It only works to worsen what you already feel. It only makes the Throne Room seem dark.
You’re consumed by darkness and it makes you want to run and return home where it’s warm and surrounded by those you love. You want to leave. You shift your feet to storm away without any thought, but at that precise moment, the throne room doors open once again, welcoming in a shining light that casts on the ground and rolls down to your feet.
You expect a rowdy greeting from the King, but in the silence you capture the shadow of a tall and slender figure get painted on the ground instead. Now you need no help figuring out who the shadow belongs to, you know who it is without having to look back. Just like you recognize the sound of his footsteps as they climb down the steps.
You would know his footsteps blind and deaf, by the mere vibrations that strike the ground. You could recognize him by just his alluring scent, by his breaths as they furl in and out of his body. He doesn’t need to speak for you to know that it’s your husband, it’s Aemond.
He was the light that filled this hall and unwantedly calmed down your urgency to run.
And as if attracted to the light, you look back. Every muscle in your body yells at you to not look, your mind shouts at you to avert your gaze, but your bleeding heart can’t resist, it makes you look back to see him; the man who killed your brother, your husband, your Aemond, surrounded by the very candlelight that attracted you.
He meets your gaze and you meet his, causing your heart to skip a beat, and a breath to escape past your lips, whilst you also capture the disbelief written so plainly all over his face. It's almost like he can’t believe you’re standing across from him, and how can he?
You look like a dream to him with the way the moonlight and all the stars shining through the large windows bask you in their luminous light, making you look like a beautiful deity. A divine angel sent to him from above with the blessing that is your child.
And how can he not expect you to be some otherworldly presence? He sent letters in hopes you could return home so he could explain what happened because he knows how much you love your brothers, but you never came. Not until now, here you are standing under the throne, watching him without missing a step, with betrayal, and heartbreak he can easily read off your face.
He expected anger, but all he sees is pain. Heart aching pain that sets his world off its axis.
He had hurt you before, six years ago, but not like this. Six years ago when he accidentally cut your face he saw disbelief and horror, pain too, but not like this, he never heard your silent ‘why?’ screams that your eyes shout out at this moment. He never saw sorrow droop your eyes like they do now, and his guilt for hurting you was never as tremendous as it is now.
He hurt you, the one who’s loved him like no one has before. The person who’s brought him only happiness, and a blessing in your son. That’s why he wants you to be angry because he did something he can’t take back—and he does expect you to be overcome with anger later, you’re not one to swallow it down for him. Yet right now all he sees is disbelief and agony that gets more and more painful the closer he gets to you, until finally, you rip your eyes away when he’s only a few feet away.
“Look,” you coo at Aerion with a smile and stinging tears brimming in your eyes. “Look who it is, my love.”
Aerion yawns back mindlessly since he can't pick up on your sadness, he just sees your smile that begins to fade as you pick him. When his eyes drift to the tall man getting closer to you though, that exhaustion that threatened to take him to sleep completely disappears. Instead, his face brightens the moment he sees Aemond, the father he’s longed to see since he left home.
Yet before Aemond can take Aerion in his arms, you halt your attempts to hand your child over when you catch the elegant silver armor of the Kingsguard gleaming against the candlelight as they approach from the far left end of the throne room. Only these Kingsguard members aren’t the ones from before, they’re new, younger, and probably stupider considering they’re Aegon’s drinking buddies.
You would want nothing more than to share a judgemental look with Aemond, but now that he’s closer you can’t even have your face turned his way; which is why you get the perfect view of the Usurper, the false King Aegon, trudging in after his dimwitted Kingsguard with his clothes unbuttoned, his hair unsettled, and his eyes red with exhaustion or something else you don't recognize. Either way, he doesn’t look Kingly, not even when he’s caught off guard, but you’ll give him the benefit of the doubt only because it’s the middle of the night—Unless he’s drunk that is…
“Your Grace,” you utter words that once brought you pride to say to your mother, but now bring you disgust to say to him. Even the thought of bending your knee is a struggle to think about, but you know that you won’t get far without showing the respect he wants to see, so you force yourself down to your knee to someone so undeserving.
Luckily he doesn’t sense that disgust, you mask your emotions well behind your sorrowful face set to hopefully gain their sympathy while you try to enchant them with your plea for mercy.
“So it is true,” Aegon breaks his silence while he slowly approaches you behind his Kingsguard, as if cautious that you would try anything with Aerion still in your arms. “You are here.” He scoffs and you catch a hint of amusement, but you’re left with nothing to do in the regard but pretend.
“I come to renounce the false Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen,” you swallow your pride and leave no pauses, even if you can feel yourself straining as it feels like you’re hurting your mother with such cruel words. “I come to pledge fealty to ward the King, as well as ask for his forgiveness.”
You pause and bow your head so he can feel pride and superior over your current state which is something you never once let him feel with you. Not until now.
“I come to beg for mercy and a second chance,” you go on and don’t stop even if you hear the main doors opening before two pairs of footsteps filter in to join the audience already gathered around you and your handmaiden; as if you were a spectacle to gawk over.
However, in many ways you are, who would’ve thought that Rhaenyra’s own daughter would leave her precious mother's side to join the enemy?
It was expected of you since your husband is part of the green faction, but Rhaenyra is still your mother, and you have had chances to leave her side already but you haven’t until now. Why?
That’s on everyone’s mind but yours, that’s why they watch you carefully and never let Aegon get too close.
“I saw my wrongdoings,” you continue to sing your plea with a soft and sweet voice. “I saw my mistake in trusting Rhaenyra. I cannot stand behind her, I cannot support her after what,” you swallow thickly and look up to meet Aegon’s surprised gaze. “…she did to Helaena and Jaehaerys.”
Aegon’s eyes harden and every form of amusement he had upon seeing you on one knee is lost and replaced by slow-burning anger that is so rare to see on him. Yet it does nothing to actually scare you.
“I'm sorry. Please forgive me, My King.”
Someone falls by your left side where Aemond stands as well, but you don't see who it is because you’re too focused on Aegon parting away from the safety of his Kingsguard to approach you with that same hardened gaze seething with anger.
“To your feet Sweet good-sister,” he rolls out as he also motions you up with his fingers.
You hesitate, but slowly push yourself to your feet, causing Aerion to squirm as sees his father again.
Aegon sees and his lips twitch before he smugly barks an order without letting you out of his sight. “Take the child.”
Your eyes widen and that sorrow you expressed turns to panic. “No!” You cry out and press Aerion against you to protect him from the reaching hands whilst you desperately look over at Aemond with no regard to your previous feelings that were just tormenting you and forbidding you from looking at him.
“He has no fault in this Aegon,” Aemond interjects right away, making you notice Ser Criston is the one by him since he moves in between Aemond when his sword hand twitches.
“Aegon,” you hear the Dowager Queen Alicent interject, giving away the fact that she was the second person who had walked in late.
You had wondered where she was, you’re sure she would’ve been told you were here right away. You suspected she would already be here waiting for you, but she came late.
“What?” Aegon chuckles and raises his hands. “I mean no harm to my nephew. He’s my brother's son. He’s just in the way.” He quips and makes sure to look at you with a new sense of smugness now that he has you rattled.
“No,” you remain defiant and glare at his Kingsguard slowly approaching you while also glancing over at Aemond seething and glaring daggers from the side—“I will not let them touch him. Not them.”
His Kingsguard stop as if they were listening to you and look over at Aegon in confusion as to what to do next. Especially because Aemond still stands there menacingly.
“I will take him,” Alicent volunteers instead of Aemond. “Give him to me,” she tells you and approaches you with her hands out.
You may not like her, but one thing is certain; whatever hatred she has for your mother is never redirected at Aerion, she seems to love him just as much as she loves Helaena’s children. And Aerion does love her too since he is more accustomed to her presence. It’s why after one kiss on your son's head you hand him to Alicent, and motion Vanessa with your eyes to stand by her.
“I never would have expected you of all people to return,” Aegon interjects, making you drift your gaze away from Aerion completely taken by his other grandmother, and refocus your attention on the man before you.
“Yet here you are begging for mercy.” He feigns a smile that falls quickly. “Why should I believe you?” His voice grows cold which contrasts his burning glare.
“Why…” he trails off and smiles tauntingly at the ground before he suddenly lunges at you and grabs you by the throat, but not tight enough for you to actually gasp for air. His grip is just wrapped around your throat.
Not like it matters to Aemond either way because he still reacts in the blink of an eye by trying to lunge at his brother. Albeit he gets stopped right away by Ser Criston; proving to you at that moment why Aemond hadn’t taken Aerion just now, he was more concerned about you and what Aegon had up his sleeve. And he has every right to worry because Aegon is daring now that he’s king, now that he has control and no one to really tell him to stop. He pulls out the Valyrian dagger that your grandfather Viserys would carry, and slowly brings the tip to your throat, making you fear him for the first time. Not because he’s terrifying, but because no one has threatened your life before.
“…shouldn’t I pluck your eyes out and send them to Rhaenyra?” He finishes what he was winding up to say. “Along with your head. Firstborn for firstborn, hm? That would be justice.”
Aegon is careful not to puncture your skin as he drags the tip of the dagger up your face, as if teasing you instead of threatening you.
“She killed my son, why shouldn’t I send her your head?” He sneers as he watches the way he moves the dagger up your cheek. “Unless it was you who sent them.”
The tip of the dagger is pressed against you so you're careful not to shake your head, even if you want to further get your defense across.
“No,” you immediately deny him even if you shouldn’t, you should stay quiet, but you can’t just stand quietly as he wounds you by throwing false accusations of something you would never do. “I would never hurt Helaena,” your voice quivers. “I-I love her. I would never hurt her. I would never hurt anyone’s child, I’m not a monster. I would never do that.”
Tears fall down your cheeks but Aegon wipes them away as he keeps moving the dagger up to bring the tip inches away from your eye, causing Aemond to groan and push back against Ser Criston’s arm.
“Let me talk to her,” Aemond interjects as Ser Criston digs his feet into the ground and fights back the prince's push forward. “I will talk to her Aegon.”
Said man scoffs and shakes his head. “No. Gods no. You’re too enamored by her,” he says and laughs. “She would just bat her eyes and you would let her go. You have always been too sweet on her. No. I will continue talking to her. If she behaves she will not get sent back to her mother. Do you understand?” He directs at you now and shifts his hand holding the dagger, causing the candlelight in the distance to reflect on the smooth metal, and entrapping your attention to the gleam before your focus gets entranced by the fires lit in the metal stands.
It’s just an arm's reach away, you can grab it and tilt it on him. Your hand wouldn’t burn, but he would. He would stop touching you and not be so close. It can work.
But the war wouldn’t end and you would only die or be locked away for certain. You can’t do it, you won’t. Thus you look back at his stupid smug face.
“I will spare your son's life because he’s my nephew, but you,” he presses and brings the knife back down to your throat. “You’re just another bitch—”
You clench your jaw, and Aemond grimaces, making Aegon’s smirk deepen.
“My brother would not do better, but there are plenty of bitches to choose from,” he remarks and starts to rub his thumb on your neck, making you stiffen and start to actually, deeply feel horror.
“Stop,” you plead quietly but loud enough that Aemond can hear. “Stop it.”
Aemond pushes back harder as he hears you, but Ser Criston still manages to hold his ground.
“Why should I not kill you now?” Aegon asks. “You’ve been parading about the Kingdom asking for other Lords' loyalty for your mother. You bent the knee to her. You have no real sense of loyalty.”
“I was wrong,” you repeat yourself. “I was blinded by my love for her, but I am not now. I see clearly now. You are the true King. I see that now. Besides, how could I stay over there with Daemon wanting to kill Aerion for what happened?” You throw out a lie so they’ll be more willing to believe what you're trying to sell. And you actually get Aegon to hum, but as he keeps making you uncomfortable by caressing your neck.
“You do have a dragon,” he gets a point across. “But would you really attack your family?”
“My grandfather,” you blurt in hopes that will get him to stop his threat and stop what he’s currently doing. “My grandfather is going to make Aerion heir of Driftmark, and Lord of the Tides, but those efforts will be for naught if you kill me.”
Aegon glances at his side before slowly pulling the dagger away from your throat.
“If you kill him Aerion would be the next lord of Driftmark, which means that we could give you control of the fleet,” you add, making Aegon stand still for a moment as he takes in what you just said.
“We need that fleet, my King,” Aemond jumps into your defense. “With Aerion being so young we would be in charge until he becomes of age.”
Aegon nods slowly in comprehension but he then tilts his head and clicks his tongue. “But killing Lord Corlys will take time. If it happens at all.”
“I will fight for you,” you roll out as enticingly as you can to try and enchant him with your voice. “Let me fight for you, for my family. I want to come home.”
Aegon sighs deeply and stares deep into your soul without looking for help from anyone. And you look at him and lift your chin slightly to exude confidence you don’t feel at the moment.
Not like Aegon actually notices how shaken and fearful you currently are, or else he would pick on that and really make you feel small. He only sees what you want him to see, it’s why your song works on him and all the others.
“Fine,” he breathes out and finally lets you go, making you fall on your knees out of defeat as to what he was doing, and letting Ser Criston let Aemond go.
“You may return home. You will not join any of my councils obviously, and your dragon will be put in the dragon pit. If you step a hair out of line I will have you killed and sent to your mother.” Aegon clarifies.
Astraea is the way you’ll get your messages across but getting her out will be no problem, and you didn’t expect to be welcomed at the council anyway. The plan was always going to be you using those tunnels your mother used to use. Aemond is the only one you’ll actually disdain.
“You should know,” you mutter to get the last word in, which is bold, to say the least, but you can’t stay quiet after he was touching in that way. “Ser Arryk was killed by Ser Erryk because he was doing his job by protecting the royal family. That’s how I escaped…” you trail off and slowly lift your head to look at Ser Criston with a smugness playing in your eyes.
The Kingsguard briefly meets your gaze before he turns his head away without inputting anything. No one actually says anything in the regard.
Aemond then proceeds to approach you and offer you his hand, but you just glare at him before you turn away and help yourself up to go to Aerion.
“Thank you,” you offer Alicent you’re genuine gratitude before you take back your son.
“Of course,” she says. “I’m glad you’re both back home.”
You offer her a fake faint smile before you turn away and walk back to Aemond to hand him Aerion, who is immediately over the moon by finally being carried by his father. You cannot say the same, you actually make sure to turn away quickly so you wouldn’t have to look him in the eye. Instead, you address the commander who had greeted you outside to avoid a silence.
“Ser, if you would be so kind as to round up your best men tomorrow at the training yards after breaking fast. My son and I need a sworn protector with this war so rampant. If I depend on the new Kingsguard I’ll find my son sold for a flagon of wine or a pretty whore,” you say without shame and watch the knight snicker and glance over at the men you were so boldly speaking of before he looks back at you and responds with a comprehensive nod, letting you not take a second longer to finally try and leave the damn hall and these people. Yet not before you wipe that smile off the commander's face
“Oh and give the list of names of that squadron to Prince Aemond, he would like to know who the men were that shot at my dragon and our child as we were waving that white flag.” You finish and peer back with a serious look that actually turns out to be menacing.
Once you’re out of the hall, you would have liked to say you could catch your breath and find any sense of satisfaction, but the tension is quick to follow you out.
“Vanessa,” you interject after a while of striding toward the royal apartments. “Just grab a change for tonight and tomorrow morning. We can get anything else we need tomorrow.”
Aemond hears your commands and looks away from Aerion to watch you instead.
“And don’t worry about a cradle, Aerion can sleep on my bed tonight,” you continue to give orders, piquing Aemond’s attention even more, and making him forget that child so fascinated by him.
“What are you doing?” Aemond asks, but you ignore him even if you feel ticked off.
“My old chambers are available, we will both stay there. I won’t put Aerion in danger.”
You know deep down Daemon won’t try and hurt your child unless he means to hurt your mother in the meanwhile, but your hatred for him blinds you and makes you see him as a threat even though there’s no real need for such hostility.
“Yes, Princess—”
“No,” Aemond cuts Vanessa off bluntly. “You will not move the Princess or Aerion’s things anywhere. They will not be moving anywhere. They will stay where we are.”
You clench your jaw but continue to ignore his grating presence, as well as Vanessa’s brewing confusion—“Don’t worry about protection, the night will be short tonight because of how late it already is. We will hopefully have that situated by tomorrow—”
“Are you listening to me?” Aemond blurts and catches you off guard when he grabs your wrist and pulls you to a sudden halt so you can face his pointed glare.
Yet you don’t give him the satisfaction of being submissive, or looking away and walking off. Nor do you actually give him what he wants, at that moment you remember that you have to hold back for the sake of your purpose and your Queen. There’s things you want to remark and throw at him as he ruffles your anger, as you look him in the eye and stand so close, but you need to hold back, it has to be helped even if a cascade of memories follows, and have you challenging his glare for a moment before you rip your eyes away and look at your son in his arms to remind him he’s here witnessing it all.
“Vanessa take Aerion for a stroll so he can fall asleep,” Aemond interjects as he holds your gaze. “It’s past his bedtime. We can spend more time with each other on the morrow.”
Vanessa glances at you for the okay, but you don’t look back at her, you keep your eyes on Aemond even if your heartbeat picks up under his heavy gaze, letting her come to the conclusion herself and take Aerion from Aemond.
The boy does begin to whine after being parted from his father, but you don’t stop her either, knowing that there will be tension you don’t want him to see.
“I am not going to stay in the same room as you,” you make yourself clear and pull your arm away to start storming to your shared quarters.
“Do you think I am going to leave you and Aerion vulnerable and all alone?” Aemond counters, making you scoff.
“Does it really matter what happens to me?” You spat back in regards to who he killed, but he chooses to ignore that.
“Of course, it matters. You know that.”
You shake your head in disbelief and continue on quietly, letting him fill the silence for you. “You will stay where you are. It’s where you belong.”
You continue to stay quiet all the way to your shared chambers, which is unlike you, he wants to hear you argue as if that will help cure the strain made by the murder, but you stay quiet and don’t even fill the air with anything when you’re in your room. You just go and try to grab something to sleep in, but he immediately stops you by grabbing your robe and throwing it aside.
“I said no,” he hisses, but you reach for another, making him grab what you pick up and pull back.
“Let go, Aemond, I am not staying here. I am not going to sleep with you!” You bark back and grab his wrist to yank it away, but he rebuttals by grabbing your hand and overpowering you with ease.
“You are staying, and Aerion is staying here where I can protect him and you,” he makes it clear to you, letting you realize as you try to avoid looking at him that Aerion’s cradle is placed at the end of the bed instead of being in his own quarters.
“I do not need you to protect me,” you counter and let go of the robe to try and reach for another, but he crouches down and grabs your arm right where Daemon had grabbed you, and pulls you up.
“Let me go,” you fight him and ignore the ache in your arms as he presses on your bruises. “Don't touch me. Let me go, you're hurting me.”
As soon as Aemond hears those words his grip eases, letting you rebuttal by pushing him away. “Leave,” you cry out and can’t find the strength to hold back anymore, you forget the role you’re meant to play, your purpose for returning, and let your anger burst out from its confinement, resulting in you shoving him back.
“If you don’t want me to leave then you leave. Go. Get out!” You exclaim.
Aemond lets himself get pushed back again and only makes you grow more aggravated that he refuses matching your anger. “I do not want to see you. I do not want you to touch me. I do not…” you trail off and push him back toward a shelf. “I do not want you here. Get. Out.” You innouncate through gritted teeth, but Aemond doesn’t get the hint, he doesn’t care about the anger behind every shove, or the disdain behind every single word.
“He’s gone because of you. My brother is gone!” You finally express what has been stuck in the back of your throat, what really fuels your anger. You finally share the betrayal that you have harbored and that has played in your eyes since you first saw him in that throne room. “Get out!” You raise your voice and shove him back against a wall, but get no reaction in any way. He lets it happen, he watches your anger, and he lets you express it even if it brings violence.
“Get out!” You cry again and hit his chest, hoping he will move, that he will finally stop infuriating you more and react by at least stopping you, but he doesn’t fight back, like usual.
“Out! Out! Get out, Aemond!” You start to lose your cool and hit him more and more, each time your fists getting backed with more strength, while your chest gets heavy, and your eyes finally start to fill with tears as the sorrow you held back breaks out and starts to accompany your anger.
“Fight me back! Fight back you fucking killer. Fight me back!” You shout shakily. “You killed him. You killed Luke. You took my brother away from me. You…” you come to a stop and can’t yell anymore, your throat stings, and your chest starts to ache to the point it gets hard to breathe really fast. “You…”
Aemond watches you move your hands back to go and hit him again, but this time before you can make contact with his chest, he grabs your wrists and pushes you back, making you hold his gaze as he does so and not let go, even if his gaze his heavy and burns in you, even if he pulls you back to him with ease and causes a warmth to wash over you as he holds you close.
“Let me go,” you try not to mewl, but you can’t help it anymore. You can’t hold that anger over your agony. “Let me,” you groan.
Aemond parts his lips but doesn’t end up saying anything, instead he only attracts your eyes to his lips with this need that comes from deep down. You do manage to drag your eyes up after a second but find his gaze heavy and focused on your parted mouth before he lolls his head to the side, and slowly meets your tear-filled eyes.
You proceed to flicker your eyes down and he leans forward, expecting you to pull away, but you stay put as if magnetized to him. As if a slave to your need dwelling deep inside where you don’t want it to be.
“Aemond,” you whisper and his blue eyes find yours, letting you see how dilated his pupils are, but also how soft his eyes are with…distress you can read with ease.
“Why?” You ask in the intimacy of the moment where it’s just you and him, your husband, your lover, and your best friend. “Why did you do it?”
Aemond's eye falls and his lips slowly form a frown. You want to see what he feels, what he fails to say so you tilt your head down to look into his eye and get your answer, but he turns his head away and mutters. “Why did you come back if you hate me?”
“I…” you don’t finish, but you softly shake your head just enough that he notices the motion and peeks over at you.
You need to say it. You need to say what you’ve felt when you were away. He killed Lucerys, your beloved little brother. He hurt your mother and your brother. He betrayed you in the worst way possible. But those feelings you had thought of only sprung up because you weren’t looking at him. It was easy to think you hated him, but now that you’re looking at him, now that you feel his breath unfurl over your lips, and feel his heartbeat under your palm as you press your hand against his chest, you can’t muster a syllable, or conjure it in your heart. No matter how hard you try.
“I did not come for you,” is all you can muster. “I came for Helaena. Not for you.”
And deep under your conflict and your mission that is true. You did come for her in her worst moments where she needs what her family can never give her.
“Hm,” Aemond hums and welcomes a coldness to your wrists as he finally lets you go.
“You did not answer me,” you bring up your previous question. “Why did you do it? He was sent as a messenger, not a warrior. He was just supposed to deliver a message and get an answer, that's all, so why? Did he do something? Did he say something?”
Aemond swallows thickly and his gaze gets hard before he deadpans. “You and Aerion are staying here. I will lock you in here if I have to. Do not make it hard.”
His gaze lingers on you for a second longer before he slips away even if he knows you are waiting for an answer. Just a simple one if need be, something to give you peace of mind, but he goes to the door looking like he isn’t going to stop until you fall on your knees the moment you can’t hold strong anymore. Everything you felt collapses over you and you break down.
Aemond hears your sobs, it unsettles him, and tugs at his heart, but even if you’re the only one who can ever cause such an effect, he doesn’t go to your side even if at that moment you wouldn’t have pushed him away. He lets out a deep breath and leaves you alone.
He doesn’t return until hours later just moments before the sun could break into the sky, finding Aerion fast asleep in his cradle, and you balled up on your side of the bed. He thinks you're asleep, but you couldn’t find it, so you heard him walk in quietly.
You hear him take his belt off, and pull his boots off to be able to approach the end of the bed without alerting the sleeping babe, going unaware at that moment of you peeling one eye open to watch him caress Aerion’s cheek ever so gently as to not wake him before he smiles faintly, causing your own heart to involuntarily pick up in its speed before it jolts when he steps back.
As to not get caught you immediately shut your eye and listen, catching his footsteps go around the bed and approach you.
At first, you think he’s going somewhere else, but his scent then intoxicates you as he stops beside you, causing your racing heart to ease as if his scent was the only key to calm down. He proceeds to stare and you know that you feel that deep down, you feel his eye on your face before it leaves a burning trail down the upper half of your body.
When it comes to your exposed arms that you can’t hide anymore, he hooks his finger on the blanket and gently pulls it down before he runs the tip of his finger on the bruise marked on your flesh, and keeps it there as if the touch alone will give him the answer as to what happened.
After a moment he groans with what seems to be frustration before he lifts his fingers and suddenly surprises you by caressing your cheek before he brings his face down, letting his long silver hair tickle your shoulder, while his breath unfurls over your cheek.
You try not to hold your breath or move, but he makes it hard as he lets the warmth of his lips mingle over your cheek.
Is he going to kiss you or not?
Yes?
No?!
You wait and wait until he suddenly pulls back and his footsteps recede, letting you open your eye to catch him walking around the bed as he takes his vest off, showing how his back muscles move fluidly with him. And thanks to the light starting to peek in you can see how smooth and sculpted he looks under such a soft light.
You want to see his face, his torso, and those perfect abs, but you close your eyes and remember what he’s done, and once again you’re cast with…sorrow.
——
*LATER*
Stupid ache…
“Vanessa, could you have tea prepared for breakfast? I woke up with all different kinds of aches,” you grumble and slip on your shoes. “My head is aching, and I feel a bit nauseous.”
Vanessa hooks the last jeweled chain on your back to the golden broach on the shoulder part of your deep blue gown, and then slowly peeks out from the side with her eyes filled with curiosity. “Princess I have been meaning to ask. When you were in Winterfell…”
Oh is she trying to get the gossip? With everything that went on after you returned from the North, you never had time to tell her what happened.
“Did you…”
Before she can finish what she was building up to the door opens and Aemond walks in with Aerion, making Vanessa groan because once again she was left to hold in her question.
“I will prepare the tea for you princess, but perhaps you should see the maester?” Vanessa purposely says at the wrong time, causing Aemond to peek over—“You did not eat your dinner yesterday because of your stomach ache.”
You side-eye Vanessa, but she doesn’t care that she just blurted your troubles for Aemond to hear, she slides behind you to fix the jeweled chains on your back.
“What’s wrong?” Aemond interjects in your silence.
You drop your eyes to avoid looking at him in the mirror and with your fingers trace the gold design that swirls with the wave patterns on your blue gown.
“Nothing,” you deadpan.
Aemond stays quiet for a second before you hear his footsteps approach you. “I saw bruises on your arms,” he doesn’t hold back from bringing up. “What happened?”
He will ask Vanessa, and she will tell him, so you just answer him in the most serious voice so he knows that his presence bothers you. “Daemon happened. He wanted me to leave and he was not kind about it.”
There's a second of silence before you hear a deep and frustrated sigh. You dare yourself to look up and catch Aemond’s gaze on your arm before he blinks and tries to meet your gaze, but comes up empty-handed when you look at Aerion instead.
“<Did you have a good time, my little dragon?> You speak to him in High Valyrian and watch him wave his hands excitedly.
“My grandmother says he could start eating solids when he’s 5 months old,” you direct at Vanessa, making her step away and nod with a happy smile.
“Yes, it’s possible, he’s starting to sit up alone, so he’s almost there.”
You grin at your child and caress his chin. “<Hear that? We will get you nice and plump in no time. As of now…” you trail off and take him from Aemond to walk away from the mirror. “How would you like to go with Aunt Helaena and your cousin Jaehaera, hm?>”
Aerion responds by reaching for your dangling earrings, so you lean your head away and shake your head, only getting him more intrigued.
“I’m heading to a council meeting,” Aemond says as you continue avoiding him. “I will talk to the maester to come see you later.”
“I can seek the maester myself,” you quip and scrunch your nose at Aerion to try and make him smile.
Aemond stays still and quiet before he walks away. When he reaches the door you peek over and see him stop again before he turns his head, but not completely. He just stands there for a moment with his gaze in the corner of his eye before he just walks out of the room.
“I do not know how I will do it,” you mumble to Vanessa the moment the door closes and he’s walking away. “I can not…pretend to be okay with him. I know I must try, but…I see…what my mind thinks what happened that day, and I get angry and sad.”
Vanessa walks to you to take Aerion and face you with a pitiful frown. “It will be hard, but you will not get anywhere if you do not try. Just take it step by step.”
You sigh deeply and nod softly. “I will leave now too to listen in to the meeting,” you change the subject. “I should make it back for breakfast with Helaena, I should not take long. That’s not my intention anyway.”
“Be careful,” your handmaiden warns you. “Try and remember your way back. Good luck.”
You giggle and pat her shoulder. “I will be alright. I do wish my cat was here though. He would make it easier to make my way around. If anyone asks for me just tell them I went for a stroll to catch my breath.”
Vanessa nods hesitantly and seems to want to input another warning, but she just bites her tongue and watches you walk out the secret door hidden in your quarters
At first, you admit you feel a bit turned around, all the damn tunnels are built almost identically. Plus there’s only the torch that you light as a form of light until you reach small windows, but those aren’t everywhere. Luckily though, you manage to remember where the council hall is. You do arrive a bit later than you hoped, but you got there all the same.
And it seems Ser Criston just arrived too, going off his greeting.
“Forgive my lateness,” you catch Ser Criston interject as he seems to sit down.
“Important business, no doubt,” you cringe at Aegon’s grating voice.
“You appointed new knights to the Kingsguard, Your Grace?”
Ser Criston is barely asking that? They were with the King last night.
Some commander he is.
“To replace those we lost,” Aegon remarks.
“The last one needlessly, some might say,” a man comments quietly but full of judgment. You can’t say you can place a face or a name to the voice though.
“Ser Arryk was awarded the great duty of ending Rhaenyra’s challenge,” Ser Criston argues pointlessly. “He failed to discharge it.”
At least he recognizes that error.
“He failed because the scheme was rash,” you hear the Dowager Queen interject before getting countered by the Commander of the Kingsguard.
“Perhaps, Your Grace but we cannot all hide in our castles waiting for war to come to us.”
You have to admit that it is true, but that does not excuse the stupid act they sent Ser Arryk to do. The Kingsguard protecting your mother aren’t bad at their jobs like he is.
“As now it surely will,” Alicent quips.
“As, now,” Aemond interrupts the bickering, managing to catch your breath in your throat at the mere sound of his voice. “It already has. House Bracken took it upon themselves to attack the Blackwoods who declared for the pretender. Lord Samwell Blackwood himself is slain.”
“Good,” Aegon says. “First blood in our name.”
Ugh, idiot.
“Both sides took heavy losses, Your Grace,” you recognize Ser Tyland made a point the King failed to see. “I-I’m not entirely certain we can declare this victory—”
“The Blackwoods and the Brackens had feuded for centuries. This is nothing more than an excuse for them to indulge their ancient grudge. It’s no true war.”
A sudden pound against the table shuts the speaking Lord up and makes you press yourself closer to the wall.
“Call it what you will,” Aegon follows by saying, making him the one who pounded whatever it was on the table's surface. “I call it war. And so will Dragonstone. The question is, what are we going to do about it?”
What is there to do? It was a stupid squabble between feuding families. There’s no significant point behind that bloodbath.
“We send a raven to Lord Tully,” you hear the maester come up with a solution amongst the other heads around the table. “These houses are his vassals, are they not? He must control them.”
“Lord Grover Tully is a flaccid, old fool who couldn’t control his cock in a cunny,” the Lord you don’t recognize cuts in with a hint of judgment. “Begging your pardon, Your Grace.”
“Do you have any better suggestions, Lord Jasper?” Aegon asks and once and for all brings a name and face to the voice.
“Your Lord Uncle Ormund marches from Old Town at the head of a great host, Your Grace,” the Lord rebuttals. “And your brother Daeron’s dragon nears fighting age. Call on them to suppress the Riverlands.”
Yes with Caraxes and Daemon going to the Riverlands? Tessarion would get ripped to shreds, he’s no more experienced than your dragon.
“At least they are months away,” Ser Tyland interjects. “My Lord brother Jason is raising a great army at Casterly Rock. In a matter of weeks, he will be able to harass the Blackwoods from the west—”
“Should we not aim to unite these armies?” You’re surprised to hear the maester give his opinion. “And then strike as one?”
He has a point. One big army is better than small ones.
“Ah,” Ser Tyland interrupts as he laughs mockingly. “The great military mind of the Citadel. Do remind me—”
Oh gods can this get any more childish?
Here instead of questioning the ruler they bicker with each other.
“This council must rediscover the discipline it lately had if its to be of any use,” Alicent thankfully shuts them up.
“The Riverlands are the key to the war,” Ser Criston moves the meeting forward over his rattling armor. “Harrenhal is the key to the Riverlands. I will ride out with those I can muster here. Men I know, men I’ve trained.”
Your interest finally piques and you push yourself off the wall to lean your ear close to the gaps on the wall that look in the council room.
“You need time to raise the numbers to challenge the Rivermen,” Alicent makes a smart point, but Ser Criston doesn’t seem to see it that way.
“Speed is my ally. I will turn the Crownland houses who declared for Rhaenyra to our cause. We will add their numbers to our own then turn west. Where I will enlist the Brackens, subdue the Riverlands, and take Harrenhal.”
Well, that’s a mighty goal. Smart yet a bit far-fetched.
“So impatient to ride with so few men,” Alicent says. “So like to be destroyed by the first stronghold you meet. A bold scheme indeed.”
Yes, especially because Daemon is also currently going to take the Riverlands as well.
“Well, the gods favor the bold,” Ser Criston quips a stupid comment that Alicent thankfully strikes down.
“They did not favor Ser Arryk.”
Ser Criston chuckles before he turns to get the favor from a war-thirsty mongrel. “What say you, my King?”
“And you’ll take Aemond and Vhagar?” Aegon asks, making you hold your breath out of anticipation as to what the response will be.
“Vhagar will remain here,” Ser Criston immediately lets you breathe, and doesn’t let the running thoughts that were building up, rush out and make a mess in your mind—“to defend the city.”
“Good. To war then,” Aegon exclaims, making Ser Criston hum in agreement and get the approval he was seeking for from the king.
“I’ll come, too, with Sunfyre,” Aegon continues making your lips twitch.
“Aegon,” Alicent calls out in protest.
“Your Grace.”
“You’ll need a dragon,” Aegon quickly throws out, making Ser Criston argue back.
“My plan is not to draw attention.”
“And-and what will you do if you encounter one or more of Rhaenyra’s dragons?” Aegon asks and you can’t help but answer in your mind that he’ll hopefully die.
“She’ll want to answer for Ser Arryk,” Aegon adds.
“We will be more like to encounter one if we field one of our own,” Ser Criston tries to make it clear to Aegon.
“That is precisely why you must remain, brother,” Aemond says calmly which actually surprises you. You would’ve thought he would volunteer to fight with Vhagar. “It’s a brave thought, but we cannot risk your loss.”
You smile in amusement at his words obviously not laced with genuine care.
“I’m as fearsome as any of them,” Aegon argues, making you stifle your laugh during the short and awkward silence that follows.
“We must also raise the matter on…” Lord Jasper interjects hesitantly after. “The Princess’s arrival. It is ominous, to say the least, and suspicious considering how much Rhaenyra coddles her children. We must press her for what she knows. If it’s true that she has switched loyalties—”
“No,” Aemond counters, making your heart skip a beat. “You will not do such a thing. I will talk to my wife.”
“We have already discussed all the matters with the princess herself,” Alicent interjects. “Her dragon will be put in the dragonpit, and we will keep a watchful eye on her.”
No tongues rise on the matter because no one wants to face Aemond’s wrath because he, unlike Aegon, has proven himself to be fearsome.
Nevertheless, you use this as your cue to leave and return to your quarters before you can be caught, finding it a much easier venture back than when you came. You surely do relieve Vanessa of any stress she harbored as she dramatically over-worried herself that you would get yourself lost.
“We should head out now,” you don’t take a moment to catch your breath or write the first letter to your mother about what you just heard.
“Is everything all right?” Vanessa queries.
You take Aerion from her and nod. “Things are as good as they will be at the moment. I need to send a letter to my mother to let her know what Ser Criston is going to do. Hopefully, Aemond is not clinging today.”
“We can always find a way to part from him,” Vanessa looks at the bright side. “It does not seem like he will be around much with this war needing constant attention.”
You scoff as you walk out of your room. “You would be surprised,” you mutter in return.
The moment you are out of your room and head to Helaena’s new chambers, you feel a sense of nervousness knot your already nauseous stomach, and rush through your veins to the point your hands begin to tremble at the thought of facing Helaena; seeing her grief, and seeing her pair of twins be left to one child.
It was not so long ago when you would both escape to your little Island with your dragons and her children. Now those are tainted memories of what she doesn’t have anymore.
What if she thinks you betrayed her and hates you for it?
You would understand, you would obviously try and explain that it wasn’t you so she knows she’s not alone in her grief, that she has you in the same way she has had you for the past year, but ultimately you would not blame her. It was Daemon, your family, your infamous side who killed her child.
Yet no matter how much your thoughts pester you, or how much you want to turn tail and return to your quarters, you’re more daring when it comes to her. You do hesitate a moment as you stand outside of her door with Aerion in your arms, but after beating down what’s making you hesitate, you knock and let your presence know.
Silence passes for a few minutes making you think you came too late, but then a few seconds later the door is opened by one of her ladies-in-waiting, leaving a clear view of her to you, and you to her.
“Good morning,” you greet softly as you walk in, seeing her put down what she’s sewing before she slowly meets your gaze with puffy eyes, but no tears brimming within. Her grief is clearly painted but it does not seem to bring her down like you thought it would. Still, you don’t feel any less guilty or sorry.
“Good morning,” she greets in return and then finds your son in your arms. “Good morning to you Aerion.”
The baby watches her before his eyes dart to Jaehaera and he becomes instantly infatuated with the little girl, so much so that he throws himself back against you out of glee.
“Someone’s happy to see you,” you direct at Jaehaera approaching you.
“Me?” She points at her chest and then flashes a grin that grows wider when you crouch so Aerion can be at her level.
“Hello Aerion,” she tells the baby and gently grabs his hand, making the baby firmly grab onto her.
“I missed you,” she tells him and shakes his little fist, making him slowly try and bring her hand to his mouth.
“He’s strong,” she comments with a giggle before she pulls her hand away and looks at you. “Can I play with him?”
“He’s a babe,” Helaena points out to her daughter, making her sigh.
“Well,” you try to console her. “He can sit with you and he can happily watch you play while he plays with some of toys of his own. You have to wait until he’s older so he can play with you.”
Jaehaera frowns, but she doesn’t argue. “All right then.”
You flash her a smile and stand to your given height to give Aerion to one of the wetnurses, so they can take the children to a different corner of the room while you talk to Helaena before your breakfast gets here.
“I planned to have breakfast a bit unexpectedly, I hope that’s all right,” you direct at Helaena who is watching her daughter for a moment before her eyes drift back to you.
“There’s no problem,” she assures you, making you nod gently before you grab your hands and fiddle with your fingers as you carefully think of what to say.
“Helaena,” you whisper, making her hum to probe innocently.
Before you can continue you briefly glance at her sitting on a couch before you go and sit next to her, making her turn to face you as you continue to struggle with how to tell her everything you feel in the bottom of your heart.
“I…I’m sorry,” you say what you have already told so many people, yet it’s not something you will get tired of saying because you can’t help or ignore your guilt, nor does this grief end. It keeps coming and coming.
“I’m sorry for what happened to Jaehaerys,” your voice quivers, and tears, the one thing you are tired of, well in your eyes, making them sting. “I’m sorry for what happened to you.”
Helaena’s eyes fall on her hands, and her lips fall to a small frown that only tears at your wounded heart even more.
“I know it must be hard, but I cannot be here and not come tell you that I am deeply sorry,” you continue as she stays quiet, and slowly reach for her hand. You know she’s not fond of intimacy, but you don’t overstep, you just drop your hand on hers, and she doesn’t move it away at that moment. Her hands stiffen but she lets you hold her hand.
“You and your children did not deserve that, he did not deserve that. I’m sorry,” you add softly, making her trail her eyes up to meet yours.
“But it is not your fault,” she says and surprises you. “You did not do it. Why are you sorry?”
You part your lips but can’t muster a thing, instead, you drop your head and lick the salty tears that roll down your cheeks and fall on your lips.
“Because it was not fair,” you bring up what you feel. “Because…it was a cruel thing to do, and agonizing to go through. Because…I know who sent those killers to you.”
A silence follows where Helaena slips her hand over yours and carefully wraps your hand with hers, making you blink repeatedly in disbelief before you meet her gaze with that same emotion in your eyes.
“It was still not your fault,” she presses ever so sweetly. “You did not send those killers, nor did you commit the act. I do not blame you, nor do I hate you.”
Your breath catches and a smile slowly tugs on your lips as your tense body eases with the relief that washes over you.
“I’m here for you, you know that? If you need someone to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on, I’m here for you. Always. I love you Helaena.”
She nods softly and offers you the sweetest smile that reminds you of the sweetest spring days. “I know,” she whispers.
You don’t expect her to say it in return, but you know her true feelings with the hand still wrapped around you.
“Why are you here though?” She suddenly blurts.
“I-I,” you pause out of confusion, but give her a clear answer. “I’m here for you.”
Helaena shakes her head and pulls her hand away. “You are not listening, why are you here? You should not have come.”
Your tears dry, and your confusion leaves no trace of the joy you were just beginning to feel
“I see it,” she presses and leans towards you. “A crown on a black veil.” She nods as if that helped you in some way. It only leaves you lost and a bit concerned.
“Okay…” you just give her the satisfaction of an answer to not leave things awkward. “Breakfast should be—”
And just as you’re going to finish, the doors open and servants with breakfast come in.
“I think Aemond missed you,” Helaena interjects while the breakfast is being placed. “And Aerion. He had his cradle moved after what happened with Jaehaerys.”
“Yes,” you mumble. “So I saw.”
Helaena gets off her seat and you mirror her to follow her to the round table, finding that breakfast looks unappetizing. The food looks good, but the nauseousness you feel is still lingering within you.
“Helaena I was thinking perhaps you could accompany me to select my new sworn protector,” you fill the silence as you take a seat. “I think getting out of your room and taking some air would be nice. Besides, I think a nice stroll in the gardens afterward would be nice, the weather is agreeable.”
Helaena sits beside you rather than in any other empty seat and looks at you before she queries. “What of the new Kingsguard that Aegon appointed? Why don’t you pick one of them?”
You meet her gaze and giggle before you look at the tea you requested getting placed in front of you. “No,” you put it simply. “One, that would be pretty foolish and Aemond would never allow that.”
She hums and the corner of her lips twitches. “I’m sure if Aemond could, he would be stuck to you like a shadow.”
You laugh softly and nod. “He tries.”
“I hope you and him reconcile,” she says. “It’s nice seeing him laugh with you.”
You swallow thickly and answer honestly. “I think it will be hard forgiving him for what he did.”
She hums and says one last thing. “Just do not wait too long, okay?”
Your heart skips a beat and your eyebrows furrow but you offer her a soft smile and nod. “Okay.”
She holds your gaze a second longer before she reaches over to serve herself some food. You try and do the same, but your stomach stops you from really desiring anything.
Helaena notices your reluctance and interjects as she leans toward you. “You should eat, it’s not good for the babes if you do not.”
Your eyes widen and slowly meet her gaze expressing only utter disbelief. “What?” You deadpan.
All Helaena does is offer you a simple smile before she starts eating, leaving you overcome with confusion, even if deep down what she said starts to make sense; Your over-exhaustion, your stomachaches, and headaches.
And it would track, Aemond and you did have sex before you left for Dragonstone, but…Cregan and you…
No…that’s a possibility you do not want to think about, and he’s always careful, and you…did not take Moontea this time, but it can’t be true, him being related is especially not true.
IF what Helaena said was true the babes are Aemond’s. And that’s even if Helaena is telling the truth, sometimes she has the tendency to say things that don’t make sense. Just like this, it's all just a jumble of words.
You will choose to believe that until you talk to someone who can actually prove it. Until then you pay all your focus on your breakfast with Helaena and keep yourself even more busy with choosing your sworn protector already discreetly picked by Daemon of all people.
You did not think he would care that much as to pay someone to keep you and your son safe, but here you are now standing on a balcony over a courtyard, hearing metal sing over the chaos playing all about the castle as men prepare to go to war with Ser Criston.
Usually, men just line up, and someone shares their achievements and a summary of how they became so high ranked and so on, but that all sounded so boring and you have lacked fun so you chose for a not-so-commonly picked choice and had them just demonstrate their skill.
“Perhaps there’s no need for such a show of violence,” Helaena gives her opinion as she stays back in her seat. “Go with the man Aemond wants you to pick.”
You roll your eyes and shake your head. “No,” you deadpan and cross your arms over the railing to lean your head over and watch as a man with short black curly hair suddenly pulls his cloak off to hurl it at his opponent and blind him.
You grin at his quick thinking and watch this tall, well-built man kick his opponent back while he’s blinded and trying to take the cloak off his face, resulting in the cloak to slip off but a few seconds too late because the intriguing man pulls out a dagger and thrust forward.
Albeit the opponent blocks his attempts with his arm, making you unfold your arms to press your hands on the cold stone and push yourself forward out of excitement.
The man proceeds to use his arm to dismantle his opponent's block by shoving his arm away, before he quickly grabs his arm and spins around him to be able to wrap his other arm around his opponent's neck, and point the tip of his dagger at an artery; with that finishing the last match, and making you beam and clap.
“Well fought!” You exclaim, causing the man to let go of his opponent so they can both face you and bow their heads. “What’s your name Ser?”
The man you called on lifts his head and you meet the most mesmerizing blue eyes that remind you of the bluest sea water.
“Ser Jason Waters, Princess,” he announces, making your grin twitch as you realize that this tall man below is the man Daemon hired for you.
“A bastard from King’s Landing,” the commander beside you whispers in your ear as if that affects his quick thinking or his battle experience—“Go with Ser Aldous from the Crownlands. That’s the man your Lord husband thought capable. He has battle experience, and he is well-honed.”
You scoff and give him the same attitude you just gave Helaena. “I do not care what my Lord Husband wants, and bastard or not that does not affect Ser Jason’s skill. Tell me his triumphs.”
The man hesitates but responds with what you asked for. “He fought at the Stepstones when he was ten-and-six with Prince Daemon until the war ended.”
You look over to flash the man a smile as you hit your palms on the stone. “See, he has battle experience too.” You look back at the man and focus your eyes on the scar that travels from the right corner of his forehead and all across his face to end on the left corner of his jaw.
“Tell me, Ser Jason, how did you get your scar?” You probe with genuine curiosity. “My grandfather Lord Corlys says a scar is always a story. What is your story?”
Ser Jason huffs lightly and glances down with a small smile that carves adorable and deep dimples on his cheeks.
“I,” he clears his throat and bats his lashes before he faces you. “I fought a Dothraki Screamer after I departed from the Stepstones.”
Your eyes widen and you quickly poke him for more with a bit too much excitement. “A Dothraki Screamer? Really?!”
He nods. “He almost took my face but I ended up winning,” he boasts with a shy smile. “Not that I am saying it was easy. It was…it was difficult.”
Your smile widens at his stumble of words before you look at the Commander. “Has Ser Aldous fought a Dothraki screamer and won?”
The commander sighs and argues. “But Prince Aemond—”
“I will make sure Prince Aemond does not take his anger out on you. I made this choice, I am capable of choosing a worthy protector for me and my child,” you interject to assure him, but then Helaena breaks her silence by calling your name before giving her opinion.
“Maybe you should listen to Aemond. I do not think Ser Jason is a wise choice.”
Her eyes snap to the man she can see through the gaps of the railing, and draws in a deep short breath before meeting your gaze and breathing out.
“You worry,” you tell her. “Just like, my Aemond. It’s okay.”
Helaena holds your gaze for a second longer with a very hard and pressuring look before she drops her head and nods stiffly.
“Let me just close this matter up and we can go for our stroll,” you assure her and return your attention to Ser Jason. “I will see you on the Morrow for your first day, Ser Jason. Thank you. And thank you to the rest of you, do not worry I am sure your skill will still be needed, I will make sure to recommend you to good positions.”
The other knights bow their heads to express their gratitude, but you focus on the man in the middle and understand now why Daemon chose him of all people to protect you and Aerion while you’re here in the jaws of the enemy. He’s well-traveled and has been holding a sword since he was a boy.
You have to give Daemon his flowers for this one thing.
“Thank you, Princess,” Ser Jason speaks up with his head raised and a crooked smile on his lips. “You bring me a great honor. I will protect you and yours with my life. I will not let you down. I will guard you even from the shadows that lurk in the night, and the cowards who call themselves men.”
You offer him a faint appreciative smile and as his crooked smile falls to a soft and gentle one, his blue eyes seem to deepen more, bringing this innocent look on his face that slowly pulls your smile down as you’re reminded of your sweet brother, Lucerys.
He would have been Lord if he had lived to be older. He could have had many different dangerous experiences like this man, he could have grown as sweet looking as this man, and held great achievements like this man, but he can’t. He was taken before he could really live a life of his own. Now you’re left just looking at this man below and getting reminded of what can’t flourish because Aemond made sure to kill it.
“Thank you, Ser Jason,” you offer the man softer than before and give him one last smile before you turn to try and leave. However, before you can you catch this certain familiar gleam in his eyes that steals your attention for a lingering second before you rip your eyes away and finally give Helaena all your attention.
“Now my Sweet aunt,” you probe as you hold your hands before you. “Why do you doubt Ser Jason?”
Helaena glances at you with a bit of surprise because you’re asking her for her thoughts that others would have disregarded.
“I just,” she says and turns her head away as she holds her hands. “I have a bad feeling about him.”
You take in what she says and quickly try to reassure her. “It’s normal to doubt people now more than ever, we are at war and tragedy has befallen everyone, but we cannot live our lives paranoid. But I will tell you what, I will be cautious, okay?”
Helaena nods softly and you add a remark. “Plus, the knight Aemond picked was old don’t you think?”
Helaena giggles and nods. “He was.”
“I’m sure it was done on purpose,” you comment on your husband's jealousy.
“You think?” Helaena asks, making you nod with a teasing smile playing on your lips.
“I know so. Now,” you change the subject to something she likes. “Tell me what have you caught as of late?”
Helaena’s shoulders release from their tense hold and her eyes glimmer for the first time. “I caught fireflies the other day by the pond, but I think they’re too beautiful to keep, so I let them go.”
You hum and feed her interests. “They are quite fascinating, they’re like little stars.”
She hums and carefully holds some of your fingers, making your heart happily skip a beat. “Did you know that they flash their lights for different stuff? Like when they’re trying to attract a mate, or deceiving others,” she muses. “And many people mistake them for flies or bugs, but they are beetles in truth.”
You hum. “I did not know that,” you share.
“Well, now you do.”
You giggle and nod. “Yes, I do. Now I think if I could be any insect I think I would be an orchid mantis. They are very beautiful.”
Helaena laughs softly and lolls her head towards you. “You’re funny.” She says, making you smirk.
You end up taking the long way to the gardens and find yourselves walking through the training yard that is flooded with men all preparing to go off to war, but halting the moment they all spot Queen Helaena walking by. All except for one man in bulky silver and green armor; he walks away from his horse with a half-smug smile on his face. And it's only when you get closer that you start to predict who he might be just going off the flaming tower on his chest plate.
“My Queen,” he finally pays his respects and bows his head. “And…” he leaves room for you to introduce yourself, and you do, making his eyes brighten and the smile turn more smug.
“Ah, the Realms Golden Girl, how nice it is to meet you at long last,” he rolls out of his tongue with a sense of cheekiness, but not filled with deceit, more so like he’s trying to seduce you.
But, as charming as he does speak, he can’t reel you in. You smile, but you also glance at Helaena in confusion, yet she doesn’t seem to understand you asking for help, so the man before you bows his head at you before he finally introduces himself; “I am Ser Gwayne Hightower.”
Ah, Alicent’s brother.
“It is an honor to meet you. I have heard a great deal about you,” you just say out of respect but you could care less even if he is a bit handsome for a Hightower.
“Hm,” he hums with a growing smirk. “In all my comings and goings never have I met such an enchanting beauty,” he flatters you and you can’t help but show off a shy smile—“my nephew is a lucky man.”
You scoff softly and he leans closer. “I am going off to battle with the Lord's Hand…”
You scoff at the title given to such an unqualified man and he seems to catch your drift and matches your mocking smile before he continues.
“I would fight more fiercely if you granted me your hand,” he speaks smoothly, but you still don’t fall prey to his attempts. Albeit you do give him your hand and watch him gently bring your hand up to his lips to press a gentle kiss on your knuckles.
Once he lets go of you his smug smirk deepens.
“I wish you well in your travels, Ser, I hope to see you again,” you offer him even if deep down you do not mean it at all and you pray and hope for his and all their downfalls. “Now if you will excuse me, the Queen and I have to go.”
“Of course.” He bows his head at you before drifting his attention to Helaena one more time. “My Queen.”
She offers him a faint smile before she pulls you away with her to finally get away from the clustered place and walk through quieter spaces until you both find joy and peace in the castle gardens.
Winter is coming, like the Stark’s like to say, but the garden does not lack life. It’s a lively contrast to the chaos ascending everywhere, and a peaceful escape where you can admire the vibrant autumn flowers that show their beauty off like stars at night. The trees are bare with the leaves rusting and breaking away, but the vibrant leaf colors that litter the ground steal the attention from its emptiness. The only thing that does make the garden feel lackluster is the lack of roses. They don’t bloom like they do Winterfell.
“Look,” Helaena calls for your attention and makes you tear your gaze away from the calm sea in the distance. “An orchid.” She shows off the beautiful light pink flower before she drops it on your lap. “Now you’re one step closer to becoming an orchid mantis.”
You burst out laughing and she giggles with you.
“You know,” you add after you catch your breath. “I have this gown I have been meaning to wear. It has blue winter roses embroidered on the corset and on the borderlines of the skirt. It is very beautiful. We should have a gown designed for you of your favorite flower so we could show off together.”
Helaena hums and nods. “I would like that.”
“Good.” You say with a smile and stand back up to continue down the gardens, coming to find Lord Larys Strong wandering around the pond.
“Your Grace. Princess,” he greets and bows his head.
You offer him a faint smile in return and steal a glance around before addressing him. “Enjoying the kind weather?”
He hums. “Making the best of it before winter comes.”
“All we will get is light snows and bitter winds this far South,” you bring up and walk closer to him with Helaena falling behind. “We will live.”
“I suppose winters here don’t compare to those in the North,” he says, and you shake your head lightly before peering back to watch Helaena slowly make her way to you.
“I would just like to say that it is odd seeing you and Prince Aemond be so estranged,” he says and slowly drifts back to him. “Not long ago you were almost inseparable.”
You avert your gaze and purse your lips together before you mutter your comment. “Well, sadly there are matters that create a strain.”
“I am sorry to hear about your brother's passing, it was such a tragic affair.”
Your eyes snap up and rather than expressing gratitude, you hardened your gaze to pass him a warning glare so he can tread carefully.
“Marriage is a complicated thing, more so with a war that tears your gaze between two sides, and secrets that lurk beneath the surface,” he doesn’t listen, he’s bold, so you lift your chin and make your glare more menacing.
Lord Larys catches the threat behind your glare and checks that Helaena is distracted by what’s in the pond before he quietly brings a point to this babble.
“I just hope Prince Aemond’s frequent brothel visits are not the secret truly keeping you apart.”
Your heart drops and every attempt to be seen as menacing falls flat. Instead, anguish begins to surface, it takes your attention and leaves you lost in thought for the rest of the day.
And you know you have no reason to be upset after you lay with Cregan. You shouldn’t care because you hate Aemond after he killed Lucerys, but knowing he went to see other women, imagining him kissing another woman, and picturing him looking at them the same way he looks at you; like there’s only you and no one else, like you’re all that’s beautiful in the world, crushes your heart.
You don’t want him touching anyone else with the same gentle touch he blesses you with. You don’t want someone else tasting the sweetness of his lips, or seeing how completely vulnerable and loving he can be. You don’t like that someone else is seeing parts of him that are only meant for you. You don’t want him to admire someone the way he admires you.
You want to be the only one he finds beautiful, you want him to only love you, just like it always has been. You don’t want to share him.
Yet you also can’t be so selfish. You know what you did, and the bad thing is you don’t regret it. You shouldn’t expect loyalty when you broke it first. You can’t be seething in jealousy when you were the one who kissed another man and became intimate with him. That’s selfish too, and you can’t be selfish.
But oh!
You can’t stop tormenting yourself with images of Aemond kissing other women, and other women kissing him. You see it in the books you try to read to keep yourself distracted and hear the sounds of his pleasure in the crackle of the fires that gives light to your chambers and also keeps it warm. You’re tormented by the ugliness that is jealousy, and also getting torn apart between not deserving to be jealous. And him coming into the room does not make it easier because now you’re also plagued by memories of what he did.
You’ll probably find yourself broken down soon enough.
“Where’s Aerion?” Aemond asks first as he takes some weight off him by putting his sword aside.
“With your mother,” you deadpan and flip mindlessly through a different book. “She wanted to spend time with him and Jaehaera.”
Aemond hums and he then approaches you to lean over the couch and try and give you a peck on the cheek, but you lean away, leaving his lips to meet a cold emptiness.
He proceeds to linger the way you left him before he purses his lips and steps away with a deep sigh.
“I see you are still playing at that game,” he says boldly and pulls your attention away from the book to lift your head and focus on nothing in particular as you run over what just came out of his mouth.
When you know you heard him right a crease carves in between your eyebrows as they pinch together, your eyes narrow and almost seem to emit flames with the rage that makes you forget the purpose you really came. That’s all meaningless now as you shut the book and throw it on the couch before you get up and spin around to snap back. “Game? Is this some jest to you, Aemond?”
Said man slips his eyepatch off and throws it on the table, choosing not to feed the dragon he already stirred awake.
“Tell me? Was killing my brother some game to you?” You don’t hold back and march around the couch to get closer, but he keeps getting away as he works to take his leather vest off.
“Is my grief, my guilt, some game to you? You know I-I couldn’t even face my mother, or-or Rhaena, because of what you did? I blamed myself!” You throw at his back which moves further and further away. “Is that funny? Do you think I can just forget and pretend everything is alright? Like-like you did not break my heart in the worst way possible?!”
Aemond finally stops walking away, but he doesn’t turn around or speak, and that only triggers your anger to get more heated.
“Aemond?” You call out so you can get something, a hum if that’s what he wants to give, whatever, you just want a response to let you know he’s paying attention.
“Tell me. Is all I am, is all I feel is some game to you?”
His head slowly lowers, and angry tears form in your eyes while you start to believe what you’re accusing him of in his lingering silence.
“Tell me…because if I am…” you trail off and don’t finish because you fear accepting that it will be true. “Aemond,” you call out again in a broken voice and with a burning glare that falters while you storm over to him and stop halfway. “Aemond,” you whisper before your nose furls and you cry out desperately and with frustration laced within. “Aemond!”
Said man slowly turns on his heels with his eye glossy and downcast, his lips out in a pout, and his eyebrows formed in a shaky furrow.
“No,” is what he says under his breath but doesn’t dare look you in the eyes, he’s like a wounded boy filled with fear. Not of what lurks in the shadows, or of some great fear; he’s afraid of what will come out of the scolding, afraid that he will be received with disappointment and a cold shoulder.
“No what?” You press to know and step closer. “No I’m not some joke to you, or no you did not mean to betray me in that way?”
“Bloodshed was inevitable, if not me, it would’ve been someone else,” he brings out his first excuse.
“Okay,” you whisper and nod in understanding while you turn away and hold your hands as you take in what he said. “Okay.”
“You are not a joke,” he responds to your other question as he finally breaks away from the spot he was stuck to. “My intention was not to hurt you. You know that. You of all people in this fucking world is all that matters to me. Ever since I was young and got pushed around for being different. You,” he makes that word clear with a sense of a deep meaning, no deceit, devotion and passion. “I did not want to hurt you. I did not mean what I did…” he trails off in a whisper that wouldn’t have been audible if the room wasn’t cast in silence.
Yet does that really mean anything now that he did it? He can’t take back what he did, he can’t bring back Lucerys because he did not mean it. It still hurts and he can’t take that pain away with those words.
“All those times,” your voice quivers as your heart speaks for you. “…I spent missing you, wanting to come back home to you, and for what?” You say to the tension in the room and hear his lips part before his steps hit the ground louder and louder as he makes his way before you.
When you’re face to face, heart facing the others heart, his long and slender fingers reach for your face, but because of the violence done to you in the past days you pull your head back, making his hands freeze and tense for a second before he tries again and this time makes contact with your warm cheeks, providing more warmth that you can’t help but melt into.
You do hesitate looking into his eye because you know what you will see will only make your heart sing, but he demands your attention and tilts your head up to meet his gaze. At that moment letting you see the sweet man you have always loved, a soft and enamored man who shows his tender affection in his eye that gleams like the full moon itself.
“I sent you letters,” he brings up softly and glances at your lips as his breath catches.
You part your lips and feel a desire slowly take hold of you, but you are not done, he can’t just shut you up with sweet words, so you quickly rebuttal with an icy quip. “Full of empty words.”
You resisted what you otherwise would have fallen trap to and reel away from Aemond to face him with a serious look that falters between anguish.
“But what could I expect? You only wrote for 1 year when I was in Winterfell…”
“That again,” he mutters and drops his hands on his thighs as he shakes his head.
You scoff and nod angrily. “Yes, this again! Because I waited, you were my best friend! And I was alone! All I wanted was reassurance from you, and you left me alone…and now all I wanted was you to tell me what you feel, I would have loved the truth, but,” you pause and feign a laugh. “You led me on like you did nothing. Like you were doing nothing when in reality you killed my brother and lay with whores,” you spat out. You did not mean to. You wanted to hold it just for the sake of not sounding bitchy and hypocritical, but it hurts not knowing why HE did what he did.
Was he looking for just one little excuse to be with someone else? Have you not been enough? Were you not giving him enough attention? Enough love? Are you not beautiful enough for him?
It’s true you talked to Cregan in your year here, but only as friends before and after you married Aemond. You missed him but only when you felt alone here, but after Aemond made you feel loved, Cregan was a sweet memory of a first love. And now? You were hurt, you wanted to feel loved after getting your heart torn from your chest. You do not regret because that will tear you apart, and you do not want to deny what you did. You did it; you take responsibility for it, you won’t regret it especially because you felt happy in a dark tormenting storm…
But Aemond?
“Who told you?” He demands to know and at that moment proves Lord Larys’ accusation right.
“It does not matter who told me,” you sneer through gritted teeth. “You did it…You do it.”
Aemond drops his eye and his lips curl to a snarl before he answers firmly. “Not since you returned.”
You shouldn’t but you feel like someone is just crushing your heart.
“No…then what about last night? When you left.” You press for more even if the little voice in your head is telling you to stop fishing for more.
“You did not want to see me, remember?” He sasses you. “Was I supposed to stay here just to have you glaring at me?”
You snap your eyes to him and narrow your glare, making him avert his gaze and answer quieter.
“I was with Ser Criston for a time before I took care of those men that shot at your dragon while our son was strapped on your chest.”
The corner of your lips twitch, but that does nothing to win you over.
“And the other times,” he continues and takes a step forward to close the gap left between you by grabbing your face and forcing you to meet his gaze. “Meant nothing. It was nothing but comfort while I was tormented. I did not touch her the way I touch you, I did not kiss her in any way, my heart, my lips are yours. I am yours. It meant nothing,” he makes clear by pouring out his heart, and bringing tears to your eyes.
Yet your tears aren’t out of relief that he gifted you the confession that his heart only yearns for you. You start to cry out of guilt and…regret.
You did not want to feel regret. It was a cemented knowledge, but you are the bad person here. You are horrible for becoming one flesh with another man, for feeling love and appreciation for someone else who is not your husband. Perhaps what Aemond did was bad too, his affair was emotional, but that night your heart belonged to Cregan, and now…if what Helaena said was true then your sin might come to life.
How could you be so horrible?
Why did you have to dig for the truth? It would have been better if you just simmered in your jealousy, but now?
Gods.
You turn your head away to not face him, but he just moves his head in search of your teary eyes. And when he finds your gaze he wipes the tears off your cheeks and parts his lips. Yet nothing comes out but a punctured breath as his eye grows tender and bright like the stars and the moon that reign the sky, but infinitely more beautiful, and just for you to admire and cherish.
Profound enamourment also fills his eye and only works to make his confession of love louder without any need for words.
If only you could give it all in return. You can’t share that intense love because resentment and hatred are still very much alive in your heart. Besides, now guilt for what you did takes a space within you, only further pushing that affection.
“Come with me,” he beckons, much to your surprise.
“Where?” You ask.
“Out,” he only surprises you more. “In the city.”
You scoff. Is he being serious? Or is this some jest? He says the city at night is for delinquents to rage, you always have to force him out with you to do something fun.
“We shouldn’t, I—”
“Now it’s you who’s protesting,” he cuts you off with the corner of his lips perked. “Just come with me for the night. Please.”
You lower your face and remark. “You do not like going into the city. I always have to beg you to come out at night. Then again you have been out, so.” you remark bitterly.
Aemond slides his hands down to hold your shoulders and even if he is annoyed at your remark he insists. “I…just want to show you some fun,” he uses your own persuading words against you purposely.
“Aemond,” you protest and he grabs your face again to pull you towards him, making your eyes flicker to his lips just a hairsbreadth away, calling for your warmth and taste to reunite and mold back together like a missing puzzle piece.
“Please,” he insists softly and pulls away to offer you his hand.
You glance at his hand offering you an attempt at a rekindle and then look back at his eye and the sapphire glimmering against the candlelight, and it's almost like it's giving a hopeful glow in the same way his eye, his lips, and eyebrows express the hope that you will accept.
A part of you says no, you will worsen your guilt, and it won’t be fun if you’re bitter and hold resentment with each word, but also another part of you is too curious and intrigued by the fact that he's the one offering you a night out first and not the other way around.
Both sides fight a short bloody fight, with one choice coming out triumphant. But deep down was it so hard to choose?
As if attracted to a dark calling of temptation you give him your hand.
.
.
.
.
A/N- No don’t take us out into the city Aemond, you’re so sexy and smitten aha 🫣
Tagged- @namelesslosers @stargaryenx @chainsawsangel @lauftivy @winxschester @cloudroomblog @llarue @padsdarlg @sofietargaryen @gracielikegrapes @dreaming-of-the-reality @itzelpeyton @patdsinner33 @mrsdominickstark @elaena-aerrin @todoroki-slut @snh96 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @nifujiswhore @sweethoneyblossom1 @kaetastic @lightdragonrayne @squidscottjeans @oh-you-mean-me @wallacewillow0773638 @icefrye19 @callsignwidow @thescottpack @fiction-fanfic-reader @crazymusicgirl104
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madokamanga · 3 months ago
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ramonag-if · 2 months ago
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Beta Tester Applications – Open
I’m opening applications for beta testers for Crown of Exile.
If you’re interested in early access, helping shape the final version, and giving feedback on the story, choices, or gameplay—this is your chance!
This round of testing will focus on the final chapter. I'm specifically looking for feedback on the various paths and choices available for the main battle of Chapter 12.
Requirements:
You must be 18 or older; and
Be able to communicate in and understand English.
Deadline to apply: 27 April 2025, 12:00 (GMT+2)
Fill out the form here: Application Form.
Thanks so much for your support 💖
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devoting-waters · 2 months ago
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I need a buddy or something to do this research with, because how the actual balls does the underworld even work? Do I use Disney as a reference? Make up my own thing? take shit from Greek mythology? I DON'T KNOW.
The only thing I have gotten is that souls can talk to each other and that Hades sometimes talks to the souls as well. So that's good. BUT I NEED MORE.
Edit: I was ranting on this part guys. I'm not actually expecting paragraphs of information, it's a fanfic after all. It's a bit overwhelming ngl
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h4nx2 · 3 months ago
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"I saw the video-"
Shamefull Katsuki from chapter 12
A Quirkless Boy’s Guide to Loving Dynamight !
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booplesgear · 4 months ago
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Overblot Malleus and Idia in that one bit of Chapter 12 that came out in a nutshell
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manga-meow · 9 months ago
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small-wha · 6 months ago
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Yooooooooo sick xenoblade 3 reference
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findingyourrootscomic · 6 days ago
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Finding Your Roots- Chapter 12, Page 83 I'll. Speak more on the current happenings tomorrow sdfjhsfjkghdfg. Next > Cover Content Warnings If you like using three lives, please consider supporting me on Patreon!
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bloofthefeline · 6 months ago
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here is some fanart. nothing too good or anything but i like it and i hope you guys do too !
i love ralph hes so killable/pos
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