#he was so sweet he didnt mind that I was being a massive dork last night

[rock-a-noodle]

Met a handsome dude last night...

[part-time-zombie]

Stay Before I Go

pairings: romantic prinxiety

summary: after sharing a lovely night together, roman is happy to enter romantic bliss with virgil. but are they on the same page?

tags/warnings: fluff, angst, miscommunication, yes they slept together, no i didnt write it out, its heavily implied but never directly stated, sorry i didnt feel like trying to write smut, it did happen just not onscreen, i didnt write anything beyond one kiss scene, logan and patton are here but not for very long, idiots in love

word count: 7103

a/n: I kinda went out of my comfort zone for this one but I think it turned out ok. It's not a smut fic at all, more than anything it just deals with the awkwardness and the "what now" that follows after.

Roman remembers it like it was yesterday. Alright, so technically it did happen yesterday, but the details were still fresh in his mind and will probably be all he thinks about for the rest of the month. It all happened so quickly, so unexpectedly, that for a moment he was convinced he had dreamt the whole thing up. He would have thought that was the case, were he not currently snuggled up to the very real proof of Virgil sleeping beside him.

Yesterday had felt like a blur. A frenzied, excited blur all thanks to an extremely successful date Thomas had just been on with Nico. It was romantic and sweet and oh, so perfect, and Roman had been buzzing from the enthusiasm all day. It seemed that he wasn’t the only one affected by an overwhelming surge of excitement, though, as Virgil was practically vibrating where he stood. At first, Roman almost worried he was suffering from a panic attack, but one look at his face quickly corrected him.

Virgil had a massive smile on his face, his eyeshadow a sparkly purple that shined so brightly in the light that it practically glowed against the faint blush on his cheeks.

He looked positively angelic, and Roman didn’t think twice before enthusiastically pulling him into an impromptu dance as the high from the days romantic success continued to rush through both of their veins, music filling the air with a snap of his fingers.

“Princey, what-“ Virgil started, tensing up and nearly pulling away at first. Nearly.

"Oh, humor me, will you? After a day like today, all I wanna do is dance right now!”

Virgil scoffed, though it was from playful amusement instead of exasperation. A definite improvement from how their conversations used to go. “Whatever, dork.”

Roman gave him a smile as he continued to spin them around the room, infinitely grateful that the others had decided not to show up today. They both had this wonderful moment all to themselves for now.

As the two continued to dance, Roman noticed how Virgil started to relax more and more. His movements became smoother and more natural, eventually dancing in sync with Roman on every beat. His smiles were frequent and genuine, even laughing slightly as Roman lifted him during the bridge of the song.

The sound of that sweet laughter and the sight of Virgil at such ease brought an overwhelming wave of emotion crashing down on Roman. He realized right then just how greatly he cared for Virgil, and how much he wanted to keep seeing him like this.

The song came to an end all too soon, with Roman twirling the two around during the final chorus and dipping Virgil on the last note, wishing this moment would last forever.

Virgil grinned up at him, chuckling lightly at their current position, and Roman allowed himself to act on one last surge of bravado before he’d have a chance to regret it.

He leaned forward and planted a quick kiss to Virgil's cheek before he could think twice.

Virgil froze, face open in shock as he started to go limp in Roman's arms.

Roman quickly pulled him back upright, the joy from earlier swiftly being replaced by doubt and worry. Did he go too far?

"Sorry, I didn’t mean to, I just… “ He started, trailing off as his words failed him. Wow, he really messed this up. What must Virgil think of him now?

“Do that again.”

Now it was Roman's turn to freeze. “I, what?”

Virgil rolled his eyes, cursing to himself under his breath before grabbing Roman's sash and pulling him close with a jerk.

And that was when he kissed him.

It was a chaste kiss, almost featherlight against his lips and over so quickly that Roman almost wasn’t sure if it even happened.

Virgil let him go right after, taking a step back as he stared at him. The eyeshadow beneath his eyes had started to darken slightly, but he didn’t look away.

“Was that alright? Me doing that, I mean,” he asked.

Roman wanted to pinch himself and make sure he wasn’t dreaming. “More than alright,” he said with a smile. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while, actually.”

Virgil rubbed the back of his neck, trying and failing to hide the blush that had returned to his face. “Good. Me too.”

“So does that mean I can kiss you again?”

Virgil looked back at him with wide eyes before he nodded, the corners of his mouth quirking upwards as he did so.

Roman didn’t need to ask twice. He took a small step forward and met Virgil in the middle, kissing him softly and sweetly and with all the reverence he felt for him, one hand delicately cupping the anxious sides face and the other resting gently on his hip.

Virgil didn’t hold back how he was feeling either. He deepened the kiss in an instant, one hand clutching the back of Roman's shirt while the other grasped at his hair. His breath fell hot and heavy against Roman's lips, his tongue eagerly exploring the inside of his mouth with a hunger that he didn’t know Virgil had in him. He was like an animal, eager to devour him whole. Roman wanted more than anything right now to let him.

Eventually the need for air forced them apart. They were both flushed and breathing heavily, with Roman staring at Virgil in awe though half-lidded eyes.

“Y’know, I would have wanted to do dinner first,” he joked.

The hand on his shirt tightened its hold slightly. “You’re saying you don’t want to take this to the bedroom right now?” Virgil asked.

If Roman was somehow still dreaming, then by God he wasn’t about to wake himself up now. “I wasn’t saying that.”

"Good, I don’t want any time for me to talk myself out of this.”

“Virgil, if you don’t want to do this, we really don’t have to- “

“No, I want to. Believe me, I really do, I just don’t want to give myself a chance to overthink it. I guess what I’m saying is, do you want to?”

Roman nodded all too eagerly. “Of course! I mean, uh, yes. Yeah. I’d like that a lot.”

Virgil chuckled at that, and if Roman could focus on anything right now he’d be embarrassed. Virgil pulled him into another kiss, and Roman came back to himself enough to guide them both to his room, holding his hand all the while.

Roman ran the memories over and over in his head, smiling to himself as Virgil continued to sleep beside him. How he was so lucky as to have this morning (and that night) he couldn’t fathom. He must have done something great with his life to have earned this kind of bliss, and he’d have to remember to thank whoever was kind enough to grace him with the heavenly sight beside him.

He turned over, taking in the sight of his favorite emo asleep in his bed. He saw Virgil in a whole new light now, witnessing a side of him that he doubted very many people did. His chest rose and fell evenly, his features softened by the tranquility of uninterrupted rest. He looked ethereal like this, with the sunlight drifting in from the window and surrounding him in an almost divine glow. It was as if an angel were with him right now, his messy hair a halo glowing in the light. Roman couldn’t help but thank God for him to get to see Virgil like this, sleeping peacefully like he had always belonged here with him. As far as Roman was concerned, he does. He had completely opened up his room and his heart to Virgil, and he only hoped he would be kind enough to make a home there with him.

Roman would love more than anything to spend the rest of the day with him like this, both of them sharing this moment together while the world passed them by. Unfortunately, as tempting as the notion was, breakfast was currently a far more pressing matter for him. His stomach growled in protest at the thought, reminding him of just how hungry he had been feeling. Man, he’d really love something to eat right about now.

For a moment he thought of waking Virgil to join him. He could pepper him in kisses and shower him with the mushiest pet names he could think of until Virgil finally kissed him back with that all too endearing smile of his, then they would both head downstairs and make something to eat together, cooking and laughing in the morning light.

Virgil mumbled softly in his sleep, and Roman ultimately decided against waking him. How often does Virgil get to sleep like this, safe from nightmares and monsters under the bed? He knew the dark shadows under his eyes weren’t just the makeup he wore, and despite Virgil being the first to go to bed most nights he was also usually the last one up, presumably from him trying to make the most of whatever fitful sleep he could get. He lost count of the number of times Virgil would shuffle downstairs for breakfast later in the morning, muttering little else than a quiet “had a nightmare” when asked what was wrong.

If he was sleeping this serenely now, Roman would sooner fall on his own sword than take that away from him so soon.

Pressing one last soft kiss to his forehead, Roman quickly slipped out of bed and got dressed as quietly as he could, not wanting to wake him by making too much noise. He slowly opened the door and shut it behind him, ensuring that Virgil remained sound asleep.

Patton was already in the kitchen when Roman finally made it downstairs. It looked like pancakes were on the menu for today, going by the delicious aroma coming from the stovetop. Patton turned as Roman entered the kitchen, giving him a broad smile.

“Hey there, kiddo! How’d you sleep?”

Roman didn’t even try to hide the smile on his face. “Wonderfully, and you?”

“That’s great to hear! I slept pretty good, too. Logan said he’s on the way down, he’ll probably be here in a minute or two.”

Patton then stopped for a moment, eyebrows furrowing. “You haven’t heard from Virgil at all, have you?” he asked, voice dropping almost to a whisper.

Now the smile on Roman’s face disappeared. Shit, could this be about last night?

“What? I mean, why? Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing’s wrong. I just didn’t really see him all that much last night, and when I went to knock on his door this morning, I didn’t hear anything. Do you think he’s alright?”

Roman let himself look relaxed instead of relieved. “Oh, he’s probably just sleeping in. Yesterday must have been a lot for him, what with Thomas’ date and all.”

It wasn’t technically a lie.

“Yeah, that’s fair. Oh, speaking of, how’d his date go? I mean, I know it went well, but you were there for most of it. What all happened, how was Nico?”

The memories of that afternoon came flooding back to his mind, and as Logan joined the two of them in the kitchen, Roman eagerly recounted the days events.

As his story came to a close and the number of pancakes began to dwindle, Roman remembered Virgil still asleep in his room, that part of the night having been omitted in his retelling. He grabbed a hearty plateful of food before excusing himself, ready to surprise Virgil with a sugary sweet, albeit somewhat late, breakfast in bed.

Only when he opened the door, he found the room completely empty.

The sheets were crumpled on the bed as if tossed aside in a hurry, with one pillow having fallen to the floor as a result. Nothing else in the room was amiss, with everything exactly as it was when he left less than an hour ago.

Except that there was no sign that Virgil was ever there at all.

Trying to ignore the cold pit in his stomach, Roman made his way to Virgil's room and knocked lightly on the door.

Virgil answered the door within a minute, though the door had barely opened enough to even show his face. His hair had yet to be brushed, and he wasn’t wearing his hoodie. Stranger still, his face was hardened and closed off.

“What do you want?” he asked, tone controlled and distant.

Roman struggled to think of something to say, reeling from the whiplash of how Virgil had acted last night compared to now. Did last night even happen? It couldn’t have been a dream; Virgil had stayed over and been there when he woke up. Then why was Virgil acting like this, almost like he regretted it?

“I just, I… are you okay?” he eventually asked.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know, it’s just after last night…” Roman trailed off, still trying to make sense of things. “Did I do something wrong? Can we talk about it?”

Virgil sighed, looking down a moment before staring back at him.

“There isn’t anything to talk about, is there? I get that what happened was just like some one-time thing and nothing else. You don’t need to explain yourself or try to make this into something that it isn’t, okay? It was nice, and thank you for that, but I know better than to think that it meant anything when it didn’t.”

Roman struggled to process what Virgil was saying. If he said he wanted it, that he liked it, why does he want it to end just like that? Didn’t it mean something to him?

“Virgil, I don’t get it. I thought you wanted that with me.”

“I told you, I’m fine with leaving this alone. I can’t say it wasn’t fun, but the point’s already been made. There’s no reason to hammer it home now.”

“What point?”

Virgil screwed his eyes shut before looking away again, like he didn’t want to have to see Roman's face when he spoke. “I mean, the empty bed said it all, didn’t it?”

Oh. That point. It really was just the one night to him. No strings or feelings attached. It meant nothing to him at all. Roman meant nothing to him at all.

“Oh. I guess I’ll leave you alone, then.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” Virgil grumbled, still not meeting his eyes.

Roman let him shut the door, walking back to his own empty room in defeat. Just like that it was all over. Over and never happening again. It didn’t mean anything after all.

Virgil felt like kicking himself. Why did he think he’d ever be lucky? Nothing ever worked out for him, what made him think this thing with Roman would? It was nice; hell it was way more than nice, it was the best thing that had ever happened to him, but he should have known better than to think that it could be anything more than what it was.

He ran his hands through his hair as he thought back to how the hell all of this happened. Things were going surprisingly well; the date went without a single incident and actually turned out impressively positive. Virgil was aglow with the excitement all day, and maybe it made him act a little reckless, but Roman didn’t seem to mind. On the contrary, he looked absolutely thrilled when Virgil acted on impulse and on his own feelings.

Dancing with Roman was as great as Virgil had thought it would be, even if it took him a second to figure out the moves, and when Roman actually went and kissed him like that he figured kissing him back would be a good idea.

Turns out it was a very good idea, going by Roman's reaction. Virgil took a chance and took it further and Roman was all too happy to reciprocate. Things were going exactly how he’d hoped, and when Roman said he wanted this too, Virgil couldn’t help but think in that moment that maybe Roman actually liked him back.

Then he woke up alone.

Why did Roman say he wanted this if he was just going to abandon him in the morning like that? Why bother kissing him at all if it wasn’t going to mean anything later? Roman was always one for romance and grand gestures and all that, so why was last night just over and done with so quickly? Was he just riding the high of the day’s events? Is that all it was to him, just working off steam and moving on?

All he could think to do when he woke up was scramble out of bed, grab his stuff and get out of there before Roman got back. He didn’t want to hear how he overstayed his welcome and to take a hint. Still, if Roman didn’t want him to stick around, he could have just said so.

He should have seen this coming. There was no way Roman felt the same, not even after last night. Virgil didn’t know why, or what he had done so wrong to make Roman reject him even now, but for whatever reason Roman didn’t want things to go any further. He had tried so hard to work with him and to cut back on the name calling and insults, but the damage must have already been done. Roman still didn’t like him, not even after this.

It didn’t make any sense to him when Roman showed up at his door to talk about it afterwards. He had made his point clear enough; he didn’t need to go and spell it out for him so he didn’t get any ideas. Virgil just agreed with him, not wanting to rock the boat by asking why it happened this way. He made it clear that he understood and that he wasn’t going to expect anything more from this and that he was happy with what he got, but Roman only looked confused. Was he expecting a fight? Did he think he’d have to break Virgil’s heart instead of him doing it himself? Is that what he wanted to do?

It didn’t make any sense, but then again Virgil doubted there was any way it could make sense. As great as last night was, he knew better than to think that it would mean anything. It was over, and it wasn’t happening again.

Virgil sighed to himself, opting for a late morning shower to clear his head. Maybe the water will help wash away his memories of last night, and of this morning. In all honesty, he didn’t want to forget it. Not really. Being with Roman was one of the best nights of his life, and he wished more than anything to get the chance to experience something like that again with him. Falling asleep in his arms, kissing him and being kissed by him, it was more than he could have asked for. He turned up the water temperature, desperate to recreate the warmth and comfort he had felt with Roman. As much as he enjoyed last night, he respected Roman's wishes more. If he didn’t want him lingering around where he wasn’t wanted, then Virgil would be fine with that. He’d live off of the memory of soft kisses and lingering touches that he’ll never have again, and he’d not bother Roman about it.

It didn’t mean anything, it’s not his fault he wished it did.

Noon came and went, and Virgil still didn’t feel like leaving his room. If he did, he was bound to run into Roman eventually, and then he’d have to skirt around what happened this morning and tell him that he’s fine with it ending like this. Which would be a total lie, but it would be easier than telling him the truth. Especially when the truth was that he’d give anything to spend another night with him, even if he couldn’t stick around after. He could at least carry the memory of affection with him when he slinked back to his room alone afterwards, this time not staying over.

Of course, there was no way that would happen again. Roman wouldn’t want to talk about it, and Virgil wouldn’t want him to talk about it, so he’d just have to pretend it didn’t mean anything to him. It’ll be fine, it’ll have to be.

A knock at the door made him jump. Was it Roman again, come to tell him to stop moping around over nothing? He didn’t think he was ready to deal with it if it was.

“Hey, Virgil, you doing okay in there, Kiddo?” Patton called out past the door. “I know you’re probably a little wore out after Thomas’ date last night, but I just wanted to check up on you and make sure everything’s alright.”

Virgil sighed before making his way to the door, opening it to see Patton holding a large plate of food with a wide smile on his face.

“I wasn’t sure if you were hungry or not, but since you missed breakfast I figured it’s better safe than sorry,” he said with a smile. “Roman said it was best to probably leave you alone but I was getting kinda worried.”

“You talked to Roman?”

“Well, yeah. He filled me and Logan in on how the date went over breakfast, and he said you were probably sleeping in.” Patton explained. He glanced back down the hall for a moment before continuing. “Say, does he seem a little off to you?”

Virgil tried to keep his voice and tone even. “I don’t know, I haven’t really talked to him all that much today. What do you mean by off?”

Patton's smile slipped a little bit. “I mean, he was all smiles and sunshine this morning, but after he went back upstairs he was just really quiet. I thought he’d be happy about the whole date thing for the rest of the week, but after breakfast he was really gloomy and withdrawn. It just kinda happened out of nowhere, one second he was over the moon, the next he was down in the dumps. I tried talking to him, but he said it was nothing.”

“Maybe it is,” Virgil muttered. It was definitely nothing this morning, wasn’t it?

“I don’t think so,” Patton said. "If it were nothing, he wouldn’t be so upset. Do you think you can talk to him? I know he always goes to you.”

“I don’t think I should,” Virgil started, eager to end this conversation. The last thing Roman needs is Virgil of all people trying to get close to him. That already happened once today and it didn’t end well.

“Well can you at least try, next time you see him?”

Virgil struggled not to grimace. There was no way Patton was letting this go.

“I mean, maybe. It probably isn’t a good idea, though.”

Patton gave him a shrug and a smile before handing him the plate of food.

“Well, either way, we’re all planning on doing another movie night tonight if you wanna join. And if not, that’s fine, but maybe you can still show up for supper if you’re feeling better by then. You won’t bay-leaf the secret ingredient I’m gonna use!”

Virgil fought the smile the threatened to make its way on his face. “Is it bay leaf?”

“Mayyybe,” he mused, a teasing smile matching his sing-song voice.

“Whatever, I’ll be there. No sense in spending all day in here, anyway.”

Patton cheered, hands thrown up in excitement, before pulling Virgil into a quick hug only made awkward by the leftovers he was holding. He gave him one last wave before heading back downstairs, leaving Virgil with a plate full of food and a knot in his stomach that all but guaranteed he wouldn’t be eating any of it.

What the hell did he mean by Roman being upset? It couldn’t be about last night, could it? He didn’t care to stick around afterwards, so why would he be bothered now?

Whatever it is, Virgil hoped it didn’t come back to bite him in the ass over dinner.

Roman was always a glass half full kind of side. He had to be; he was passion, pride, and creativity. If he weren’t optimistic, how could he keep being himself? To him, the glass was always half full, but that’s not how he felt right now. Right now he felt like a glass that used to be full but had just fallen off the table and shattered into a million pieces, with the water now spilled out in every direction and incapable of being recollected.

Yeah, he’s not doing too great. Patton had noticed, because of course he did, but try as he might, he couldn’t make him feel better. Mostly because he didn’t, couldn’t, know what was wrong to begin with.

How could he even begin to explain it? He had finally shared a wonderful night with the dearest person in the world to him, only to get the cold shoulder the morning after. He knew that Virgil wasn’t the best with feelings and vulnerability, and he didn’t want to pressure him into something he wasn’t ready for, but he thought he was ready for this. He initiated, he told him he wanted to, and he definitely enjoyed it. So why did he all but slam the door on him now? What did he do wrong? Why didn’t Virgil like him?

He was being stupid. He usually is, just ask Logan, but he couldn’t help but be confused. Did he think last night would be the start of something beautiful and romantic with Virgil? No, not really. Sure, he would have loved that. He would have done anything to take Virgil out on dates and picnics and dance with him until they both fell on top of each other, laughing until their sides went sore. God, he would love that more than anything in the world, but he wasn’t about to get his hopes up. He was just thinking that maybe Virgil would have been willing to at least talk about where they stood after that, what it meant for their relationship and if anything was going to change.

He wanted to have joined Virgil back in bed and shared pancakes with him as he woke up, glaring at the sun in his eyes. He would have wanted awkward morning-after conversation and cheeky sideways glances while they both pretended they didn’t know the other was looking first. He would have wanted to do more with him, to be more with him.

It looks like Virgil didn’t feel the same, though.

It was fine, really. Virgil wasn’t ready for that, or maybe he didn’t want that at all, and Roman didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by asking for more.

But did it have to hurt so much?

It felt like he was drowning and bleeding out all at once, and with every hour that Virgil stayed in his room, he felt another knife twist at his gut and another weight pulling him down. Did he ruin things between them forever? Will Virgil never talk to him or even look at him again? Had he lost the greatest love he’s ever felt before he even had it?

Just that thought left him spiraling. He had lost him. He had lost…

“Are you alright, Roman?”

Roman looked up from where he was sitting with a start, pulled from his thoughts by Logan as he took a seat near him.

“If I may say, you look dreadful. I thought you’d be happy about Thomas’ successful venture yesterday. Has something happened?”

Roman didn’t know what to say, or if he even should say anything, so he just let himself nod past the stinging in his eyes.

“Is everything alright?”

“It’s nothing to worry about, really. Just dealing with something right now.”

“And what might that be?”

Roman bit the inside of his cheek. How much could he talk about? Virgil probably wouldn’t like him bringing it up with anyone, especially if it was because he was just getting too attached to something that he wasn’t supposed to. Still, if anyone knew what the right move would be in any situation, it would be Logan. Maybe Roman could just leave it vague.

“What do you do when you’re getting along really great with someone that you really like, and then the next time you see them, they act like they wish it didn’t happen?”

“Who might that be?”

“Nobody, it’s just a hypothetical. But what would you do in that situation?”

Logan furrowed his brows a bit as he thought it over. “Well, I personally would talk to the person to see their side of things. If they are upset in any way or if I offended them somehow, I would prefer open communication to allay the confusion and prevent further misunderstandings in the future.”

“Okay, but what if the person doesn’t want to talk about it? Like, really doesn’t?”

“Then you’ve done all you can to fix things. If they aren’t willing to meet you halfway by explaining things, then it is unlikely that the problem can or will ever be fixed. Depending on the person and the severity of the issue, you may want to take this as a sign to stop associating with them entirely if they refuse to communicate with you at all.”

Roman felt a lump form in his throat. Stop talking to Virgil entirely? No inside jokes, no bonding, no late-night chats? Death would be less painful than that. But, is that what Virgil wanted? Does he not want to be around him at all now after what happened? The thought brought tears pricking at his eyes, but if that was what Virgil really wanted, then who would he be to deny him that? So what if it hurt, Roman would die if it pleased him.

“I’m guessing this is about Virgil?”

Roman snapped his head back up to look at him. Going by the expression on Logan's face, him asking was just a nice way of stating the obvious.

“Why’d you think that?”

“I know he was with you during the date, and you both presumably stayed up for some time after. I also noticed that Virgil has not left his room yet, which he only does if he is truly upset about something, and that you have not yet talked about what is troubling you, which is uncharacteristic as you are often very vocal about your miseries.” Logan leaned forward, expression softening. “I admit I don’t know what is going on between you two, but I do know you mean a great deal to him, though he isn’t great at admitting to it. If you aren’t willing to tell me or Patton about it, then you should try to talk to him.”

“But what if he doesn’t wanna talk?”

“I highly doubt that. Odds are he’s just as troubled about this as you are, he just refuses to say so outright.”

Logan gave him a small but encouraging smile, one that Roman found himself returning in spite of his current mood. That’s right, passion and pride don’t give up that easily. The least Roman can do is get a clear explanation out of him, and then he can figure out what to do or how to feel from there. If even after talking it out Virgil didn’t wanna be with him, then at least he’d have an answer and an actual reason to mope.

Now if only he could figure out how to talk to him…

Dinner came all too fast and passed far too slowly. Virgil had come downstairs to eat, but he didn’t do much more than that. Patton tried to pull him into conversation, but all it took was a sideways glance at Roman for him to go quiet again. Logan had noticed and tried to get either of them to talk about something, anything, but to no avail. If only awkward silences didn’t slow time down to a crawl.

Roman has no idea how, but Patton had managed to convince Virgil to stick around for a movie after dinner. He didn’t seem all that hyped about the idea but then again, very little got him visibly excited. Roman didn’t want to think about how happy he looked during their dance, and how he may not see that look from him again.

Everyone settled down on the couch in their onesies as the votes were cast. Well, most of them, as Logan still refused to wear his own onesie. Roman rigged the votes again, this time securing Hercules for tonights film. A personal favorite of his, and one that he knew Virgil at least secretly enjoyed.

The movie played on through the evening, though Roman couldn’t bring himself to focus on most of it. He kept sneaking glances over at Virgil, who was curled up on the other side of the couch with as much distance between him and Roman. Sometimes when he looked over at him, he looked lost in thought. Other times, it looked like he had just tried to not get caught looking at him first. He wondered what Virgil was thinking when that happened.

Logan didn’t hesitate in rising from the couch as the credits rolled, already calling it a night despite it still being fairly early. Maybe he was finally acting on the sleep schedule he had enforced on everyone else, or he just had a lot of work to do and was looking for an excuse to get to it. As he urged Patton to get some rest as well, Roman started to suspect he was just finding an opportunity for Roman and Virgil to talk in private.

Soon enough Patton had gone to bed too, leaving Roman and Virgil alone in an otherwise empty room. Again.

This wasn’t nearly as fun as it was the last time they had spent the night together.

Virgil seemed to agree, as he quickly got up from where he was sitting and prepared to head to bed, not even looking at Roman.

For a moment Roman almost let him go, not wanting to bother him about something he clearly didn’t want to talk about, but he knew that if he didn’t talk about it now, he likely never would. He had to try, at the very least.

“Virgil, before you go, can we talk? Please?” he urged, watching as Virgil stopped in his tracks in response to the words.

“Do you want to talk?” he asked, not yet turning around.

“If you’re alright with that. I just want to make sense of where we are right now.”

Virgil remained where he stood, this time fortunately turning to at least face him.

“I don’t know if we’re really anywhere right now,” he muttered. “I thought last night was just the one-time thing. It didn’t have to mean anything, right?”

“Not necessarily,” Roman replied. He patted the spot beside him on the couch, looking at Virgil with pleading eyes. “That’s kind of what I was wanting to talk about.”

Virgil shifted in place, warring with himself before he finally gave up and took a seat next to him. He wrapped his arms tightly around himself, not really looking at anything.

“So what the hell is this about then? I thought we were clear about this.”

“I don’t think we are,” Roman said. “At least, not yet. I know you want one thing from this, but I want something else. I don’t know if that’s what you want, but I want to at least talk about what we both think this means for us. I want you to be alright with this.”

“I am,” he growled, tone shifting to something cold and controlled. “I told you, it was nice, but it doesn’t need to be anything. I’m fine, I don’t need to talk about it.”

“Well, I do,” Roman insisted. “It doesn’t look like you’re fine, and if something is bothering you, if I’m bothering you, I want to know so I can fix it.”

“It doesn’t matter, okay? You did nothing wrong, I just gotta put this whole thing behind me. It’s not going to happen again, and I’m fine with that.”

“Maybe you are, but I’m not!”

Virgil’s jaw dropped as he finally turned to look at him. “… I, you, what?’

Roman took one of Virgil's hands in his own, wishing he didn’t see how Virgil tensed at the action. A day ago they danced together, and now he flinches at handholding.

“Virgil, please. I know you want to just pretend it didn’t happen, that you probably wish I never so much as kissed you, but I need you to know that I don’t want that.”

Virgil just stared back at him, wide-eyed and confused as Roman pressed on.

“I don’t know what I did to make you avoid me, but the last thing I want is to just carry on like it didn’t happen. I love dancing with you, I love holding you, and I love waking up next to you so much that I don’t know if I can sleep without you by my side again.”

The hand Roman was holding started to tremble as Virgil screwed his eyes shut in confusion. Or fear. Or both.

“But I thought you didn’t want me there. You came to my door to tell me that, right?” Virgil opened his eyes and looked back at him again, a sea of emotion swirling behind them. “Isn’t that what you wanted? For me to leave?”

Roman felt like he had just been slapped in the face. How on earth could Virgil ever think such a thing? What could Roman have done so wrong to convince the owner of his heart that he wasn’t wanted?

“Darling, that’s the last thing I want. You lying next to me was the most wonderful sight I have ever seen, right next to your lovely smile of course. I want to wake up next to you every morning for the rest of our lives, if you’ll allow it.”

“... then why did you leave?”

Now Roman was the one who was confused. “What do you mean?”

“I mean if you really mean all of that, then why the hell weren’t you there in the morning? I woke up and you were nowhere to be found. You didn’t wake me, didn’t leave a note, you just left me there to wonder why you left.”

Details of that morning came back into focus, falling into place like puzzle pieces. He must have been gone for nearly an hour over breakfast and Virgil always complained about being a light sleeper, so to wake up alone after that with no explanation…

“Virgil, I don’t know how I didn’t realize… you must have thought that I… you don’t think that I up and abandoned you, do you?”

Virgil stared at him for a moment, processing what Roman had told him. “Well, yeah. I mean, that’s what it looked like to me. What else was I supposed to think?”

Roman couldn’t help but laugh. The whole time, he thought it was something about their relationship, but it was just breakfast? That’s all it was this whole time?

“What the hell is so funny?” Virgil snapped, withdrawing his hand.

“It’s not, it really isn’t,” he started, taking a deep breath to ease his laughter. “It’s just, I had gone downstairs to get some breakfast for the two of us. I didn’t wake you because you just looked so peaceful and I couldn’t bring myself to disturb your sleep. I had a whole plate full of pancakes for you, Virge. I just wanted to let you sleep in.”

Virgil leaned back against the couch, letting the words sink in. “So, this whole time… you were just getting food? That’s it? You didn’t just want to avoid telling me to leave?”

“God no, what kind of coward do you think I am?” Roman answered.

“But I thought, and earlier when you tried to talk… oh my gosh, I’m so stupid!” he exclaimed, covering his face with his hands. “I’m such a fucking dumbass!”

“Hey, if you are then so am I,” Roman offered. “I should have thought to leave a note, or to just bite the bullet and wake you up. Honestly, I ought to have realized you’d think something like that if you woke up alone. I messed up big time on that one.”

“Yeah, maybe a little bit,” he replied, face still hidden behind his hands. “Why did I go and make this into a huge deal when it didn’t need to be?”

“It’s not like you can help it. Just like I can’t help falling in love with you.”

Virgil dropped his hands and looked at him in disbelief. “Please tell me you did not just reference Elvis right now,” he groaned.

“Maybe I did, but don’t worry. There’s plenty of other love songs I plan on bringing up around you.” Roman grinned, only for it to fade quickly. “That is, if you’re alright with that.”

Virgil gave him a small smile in response. “I don’t think I’ll mind. But just so we’re clear here, you do want this to be an actual thing, right? Like, you and me being together, that’s what you want out of this?”

“Of course, more than anything in the whole world. I’d love to take you on our own perfect dates and dance with you all night long if you’ll let me. I would love to be with you every night and every morning. I want to wake up with you for the rest of our lives, and I promise, if you want that with me too, you’ll never wake up alone ever again.”

Virgil smiled again, the same wide smile that made Roman melt inside. “Yeah, I really want that too.” He said, before letting out a low laugh of his own. “And holy shit are we both total fucking idiots.”

“Idiots in love,” Roman countered. “Don’t forget that part.”

Virgil leaned against him, humming thoughtfully. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.”

Roman smiled again before pulling Virgil in for another kiss, one that would lead to many more down the line, and he was already looking forward to each of them.

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