#he'd be furious with himself that he fell asleep in front of her

[goldeneyedgirl]

AILess Whumptober Day 27: Locked Up/Immortal

The final entry, late but complete! I figured that I put Alice through the ringer all the time, it might be Jasper's turn. I had a very specific image of how this would look in my head that did not want to be translated to the page. I've also looked at this so long that I cannot look at it any longer.

So, enjoy whatever this is! I hope you all enjoyed Whumptober and were suitably depressed after my contributions to this event my loves <3

iron & stone. (day 27: imprisoned/immortal).

twilight, alice/jasper, pg, one-sided vampire alice/demon jasper.

very non-graphic wound description

She finds him in an old church in Tulsita, Texas. It’s a tiny place, one that has less than thirty people.

It’s a grim little town, with worn buildings and cracked roads; the air is thick and hot, even late at night. It’s the perfect place to be forgotten about, to be trapped. It’s a place that feels like it isn’t part of the real world, and like maybe time has frozen.

There’s an edge of dread in the air, and she has to wonder about that.

But mostly, she just feels anticipation.

It’s taken her thirty years to find him, she’s looked everywhere. She’s read everything. She’s recorded all her visions and made all the notes. She’s learned Spanish, Italian, Hebrew, Greek, and Latin for him. She’s practically a scholar on him and his kind now.

She’s still nervous.

(There are three kinds of demons - the oldest ones who have existed for always, those are the ones that should never been disturbed or called upon. Then there are the ones that are born naturally - very rare but possible. And then there are the ones that are made. Not like vampires - in the demon world vampires are half-breed cockroaches, endemic to humanity, according to the books she’s read. The change isn’t half the pain and suffering that being turned into a demon is - she knows that.)

She walks through forest surrounding the building carefully - it’s unlikely that anyone will see her, but she prefers to err on the side of cautious. Especially since it’s very, very clear that someone does visit regularly (relatively speaking, of course - time moves very differently for immortals.)

The church is thoroughly abandoned, the pews rotten and broken and the floor tiles cracked and scattered - what would have been an expensive point of pride lost to time and neglect. What is left of the prayer books are ruined cardboard covers covered in mould. The altar is pulled right down and destroyed; all but one of the windows is boarded up. Glass crunches underfoot - a mix of the remain window’s panes, and broken beer bottles scattered around.

And as she stands there and looks around, she wonders how anyone set foot in this place, even just to hide and drink, when she can feel his presence right here? That boiling rage, that uneasy feeling in the air - the gift of animal fear, that whatever this place contains is dangerous and they need to run. It’s all around her, yelling at her to leave and never come back.

It wouldn’t be the first time.

Edward and Carlisle would be furious she’s come here by herself. When she’d worked it all out, when she’d told them what her visions had shown her, they’d acted like he was dead and gone and she’d just have to get used to walking the world alone. They expected grief and she’d been confused - Carlisle had insisted that he was as good as dead, and Alice needed to make her peace with that.

Alice could never bring him home. That the Cullen residence, the Cullen name, had no place for monsters and terrors and the things that little children hide from. And she had agreed with them politely, told them that she understood. And she did. They had thought she was mourning, taking her time to adjust to what her life would look like now.

Esme had tried to talk with her, but Alice had refused, and just closed herself up in her bedroom. And they had let her be.

They hadn’t expected her to pack her things in the same satchel she arrived with, to leave behind her locket with a letter thanking them for their hospitality; shedding the Cullen name and creed like an unfashionable winter coat.

If there was no place for monsters amongst the Cullens, then she certainly wasn’t welcome. They forget that she was a nomad, a vampire before she arrived at their house with a smile and golden eyes. They forget that she has a whole story before she ever found them, and that it’s not all pretty and kind.

(No place for monsters, when Carlisle went and changed four innocent people without consent? When suicide is a sin and so is murder? That she loves them fiercely but to be a family is to realize that none of them are perfect and holy and unsullied by their nature? The House of Cullen is so beautifully monstrous, she almost feels sorry for them for not seeing that.)

She had made herself once, exactly how she wanted, and she could do it again. Maybe one day she’ll visit them. See if they forgive her. Esme will. Emmett will. Rose might. But Carlisle and Edward… well, it depends on a lot of things.

Like what lies beneath the church.

It takes her a while to find the little trapdoor down into the earth behind the altar, covered with broken wood and tile, and chained up with a shiny new padlock that crumples like paper in her determined hand. The steps down are mostly rotten - slats of wood wedged roughly into the earth - but she is small and light, and slips down easily, down into a cellar dug too deep and too precisely to be created for anything but a very specific purpose, with the little alcoves in the wall with wells of oil to light the way - only a few of them are still barely burning, throwing bizarre shadows onto the walls.

Everything about this is screaming for her to turn back. Every instinct, every sign is telling her to go home. Except…

She saw him so many times, in hundreds of moments that will weave between them. The laughter and the jokes and the love. She’s seen the way he’ll protect her and change her, and she’ll do the same for him. He’ll look at her with loathing and then tolerance and smug power, and finally, soul-binding love and adoration. The scars she’ll bare will be in the shape of his jaw. She’ll trace his scars with her fingers and her mouth and her tongue; she knows all the little pieces of his story - the boring and the ugly and the difficult, as well as the fragments that are light and precious.

She can’t wait.

But this… this part she’s never seen properly and maybe her brain was protecting her.

The room is small, and little more than dirt and stone held up with rotting beams - buckled and warped, but holding steady for now. It smells rotten down here, almost burnt.

And then there is him.

He lies in the middle, on the stone, his head thrown back like a sacrifice about to be cut open in the name of some ancient god. His eyes are closed and if she didn’t know better, she would think he was asleep. She can see him properly like this, the muscular lines of his torso, the tendons in his neck, the strength in his arms and legs. He looks like a classical Greek sculpture celebrating rapture.

Except… there’s pain. The pain radiates off him like heat; most of the scars are old but the wounds are not. Or maybe they can’t heal. Burns and cuts and bone-deep gouges cover every part of him. There’s a tremor to his body that she doesn’t understand.

And then he hears her shoes on the stone floor and he lunges in one swift move, alert and ready, a snarl echoing in the space.

…Or what should have been one swift move.

Instead, it’s messy and horrific and takes her a moment to process, as she tumbles backwards, losing her footing as he comes at her.

He rips himself from the stone, pieces of skin from his legs sticking to the floor when he moves, leaving open wounds that looks almost like burns on every piece of skin that the stone touched. His legs buckle and shake at the sudden movement, evidence that he has not stood in a very long time.

His eyes are so black they look like empty sockets as he looms over her. Blackness spreads up his hands and arms, spidery black veins stretching from his eyes and throat. For a moment, she thinks she catches a glimpse of the wings; ghost-like and ephemeral in the corner of her eye, tattered void stretched over ancient bone, cracking into place no longer than his arm span.

(He’s magnificent.)

And just as suddenly as he hovers over her, he is ripped backwards and hits the floor with a hiss and the heavy clank of chains pulling tight and recoiling. She gasps at his visible pain, the way he struggles to get up, the demonic visage fading back into the skin of a man. A man in the worst kind of pain she’s ever seen.

“Get out.” His voice is hoarse, the kind that hurts to listen to, and he turns away from her. She can see the chains properly now - ankles, wrists, throat, and thighs, all connecting to a back-brace of iron. The wings have sunk back into his flesh, deep scarring almost outlining them on his back, and she hates to think how painful it was to stretch them imprisoned like this.

How long has he been here, like this? As beautiful as he is, she can see every hour, day, decade he’s spent here in the gaunt shadows of his face, in the decay in his clothing, in the layers upon layers of scars and open wounds. His eyes are hard; there is no hope or trust in them at all.

She always knew it would be difficult, but she never counted on what seeing him in this state would be like. How much it would ache to see this bitter shadow of a man, and the suffering he has lived through.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” she says, sitting up. Her bag has survived the fall, but she prepared for it. Nothing in the bag is breakable, for good reason. He’s liable to get angrier.

“Oh?” He looks at her. “You long for death so badly?” His voice is mocking, but she can hear the strain, the rasp of his agony. He shifts to see her better, and she can almost see ghost of his future self.

“Only of a certain kind,” she murmurs to try and lighten the mood, but it falls flat - he’s giving her the kind of look Edward reserved for fawning classmates, so she feels adequately stupid and regrets being so flippant and crude. “You’re hurt. I want to help you.”

He is so badly hurt. The fresh burns smell like alcohol, raw and weeping blood. It’s oddly matte with no shine, but demon blood isn’t like human blood. There’s also a mottled black mark on his torso that she hopes is some terrible bruise and not broken bone just beneath the skin.

“Go away.” His voice is hard, no trace of the pain or misery he’s experiencing. There is a power and a rage there that makes her skin crawl and every instinct is telling her to run. He glares at her, and his eyes… she’s seen them red and gold and black, but right now they are demonic - a black sclera and pupil with churning red iris. But there is no shine to them, just a void. They scream of danger and she understands a little better why Carlisle warned her so grimly away from him.

“No.” She rummages in her bag. Aro had allowed her to use the library for a whole summer, to learn about demon physiology and healing. He’d been amused by her request - and by the discovery she’d left Carlisle’s family in pursuit of this demon. She knows that he’s already plotting, that nothing he offers is without strings attached, but she’ll worry about that later. She has the knowledge, and that is what is most important. “Let me help you.”

“Why do you want to help me? What do you want?” He’s holding himself oddly, and she realizes he’s trying not to touch the stone again, only the soles of his feet.

“To help you. And to talk.” She checks the bottles have not split in her bag; she’d used old water bottles, and a few of them are warping from the chemicals inside of them. But she’d gone over it a dozen times at least, and these will work. He just needs to let her help. “If you don’t like what I have to say, you can leave. Nothing about this is conditional.”

He stares at her. “You don’t want to be remade?” He asked suspiciously. His breathing is labored. “You don’t want all the secrets of the underworld? Wealth? To live again?”

She shakes her head. “I have money and a home of my own. And I have no memory of ever being anything else but what I am right now. The only thing I want is to help you.”

He lets out a bark of laughter. “You say that. But you’ll expect things. Everyone who comes here does. They always want. Humans are greedy creatures and vampires are parasites. You’ll want something, they all do,” he snaps at her and then he smiles, cruel and sharp. “Not many survive being remade. Maria tried to make a dozen of us. I was the only one of my batch that made it through. You have no idea what pain can be.” He scoffs. “Especially if the change was so overwhelming for you that you blocked it out.”

“I know.” She does. She’s read all the written accounts of being remade into a demon right back to some scraps of information from the Roman Empire; the rituals are mostly anecdotal. There was nothing about how it was done; even Aro didn’t have a full copy of how to remake someone. Several of the leads pointed towards the possibility of the remaining instructions being locked up in the Vatican, but even her visions couldn’t decipher if they were genuine or just a rumor.

The fact Maria of Monterrey had found a record and managed to translate it into a ritual that actually worked was awe-inspiring. It made her one of the most dangerous people on the planet - and one of the most powerful.

But the cost of it… how many people had she killed to create Jasper? To create her army? There were the newborn recruits, the blood for the army, and the ones that she tried to remake… that was thousands, more than Alice could comprehend in the scale of human life.

No, she’s not interested. Perhaps she even fears physical pain a little, because she has no memory of human pain, of the change. She’s never bled, never ached, never really suffered like that. And that unknown void of pain, a universal emotion understood by every living thing on the planet… she doesn’t have that.

But maybe…

“I’ve never been hurt,” she says softly. “Not that I remember. I can’t stand the thought of it. That something can feel like that. If I can stop it, I want to. That’s all.”

His gaze burns into her.

“Do you know how many people have come here and promised me things?” He sounds angry but tired. “They’ll free me, they’ll give me money and food and bandage me up. My own army. Girls. Boys. Anything I goddamn want. Do you know what happens to them?”

She sits cross-legged. “Don’t pretend you killed them.”

“You don’t think I could?” The look on his face is dangerous.

“I know you could. I know that if you really wanted to, I would have been dead before I saw you move. I know that you were the most dangerous man in Texas and Mexico for decades before I was even born - before you were remade.

“But I don’t see any bodies. No bloodstains, no bones, nothing left behind. There’s nothing here. Whatever they offered you, you didn’t kill them for it.”

“When I didn’t give them what they want, they left me here,” he says finally. “All of them.”

“Were there many?” That she is curious about. There are a hundred reasons to seek out a demon, but few people are brave enough, and fewer still with the information to find one.

“More than I expected.” He looks at her, his gaze hard and bitter. “What do you want?”

“To help you,” she says obediently. “To get you out of the chains and upstairs; maybe look at some of those wounds? I’m no doctor, but I think I know what to do.”

“And what is your price?” He sounds testy again, and she’s getting annoyed that he won’t listen.

“I’m a cheap date - maybe you can just not kill me? Once you’re free, maybe we could talk for a little while? I have a house we can go to where you can recover safely, if you want to. Otherwise we part as friends.” That would be a disappointing outcome but one she is prepared for. “As long as you’re okay to be alone. I didn’t go to all this trouble to let you go off on your own and keel over in the street dead.”

The surprise on his face is genuine. “I cannot die from this. That’s the whole point of being down here,” he said slowly. “I can only suffer. It would take much, much more to end me.”

He looks sad and tired when he says that, and she wants to hold him. To reassure him that it will get better. It can be wonderful, if he gives her a chance.

“Good. Then if you want to leave me, you can. Just let me help you, and everything will be okay, I promise.”

They stare at each other for a long time, neither of them flinching before he nods his head once.

“I hold a grudge. If you double-cross me…” he begins but she’s already moving closer.

“I understand.” And she does - she’s had visions of him in battle, and the sheer violence and blood-lust had scared her. He is a dangerous creature. But she’d be more likely to rip off her own arm than intentionally harm him.

“You’ll want to take off your shoes.”

It’s an odd request but she takes off her boots and moves forward.

One foot on the stone and she can feel the warmth inside of it; when she looks down, her stockings are already being to singe from the heat.

“Keep moving, or you’ll stick,” he warns and she’s horrified.

The stains on the stone that she had assumed were age were patches of blackened skin still stuck to the stone - his skin - that had torn away from him every single time that he moved.

And then there was the sudden awareness of that fact that his feet have been resting flat against the stone since they’ve started speaking, and she wants to scream, to pry him off the stone herself. She looks at him in naked horror and his lip quirks in quasi-amusement at her expression.

“It’s consecrated ground - no matter how deep it goes, it will always burn the likes of us - me worse than you, but I wouldn’t linger. And no, your shoes wouldn’t protect you.”

Consecrated ground. Fucking consecrated ground. She’d read about it - Europe was lousy with it, but much of it has faded away forgotten and unsanctified in the last couple of centuries as religion has lost its grip on the population. It’s much rarer in the states - most of it is in New England, allegedly. But this perfectly built little prison, complete with consecrated ground… she wants to ask a million questions about the how and the why, but she knows he won’t answer. Not yet.

Right now, she needs to get him off of the floor and out of this evil little room as soon as possible. And the first step is to break the chains embedded in the wall - where a single panel of rock is placed.

She’ll worry about getting the brace off of him once they’re out of here.

He watches her, almost entertained, as she tries to break the links, inspecting the chain carefully for flaws or weaknesses. But even with all her strength, they don’t even bend. They are stubborn and as cursed as this entire basement.

She can feel it - they cannot be broken. She can’t see a way around it.

But when she looks down at him watching her, at his dead-eyed stare of acceptance that he will not be leaving, she feels the weight of what she’s promised him. That he still believes that she will fail and leave him to his fate.

But she was Emmett Cullen’s sister for nearly three years, and Emmett had never met a law, a riddle, a trap or a rule that he couldn’t find a loophole for.

Which is why she brought a screwdriver. An entire toolkit, actually. Whilst vampire strength and speed could fix so many problems, there were some things that required the precision of a toolkit or a lock pick. And maybe the last gift Emmett ever gave her was a mini pink toolkit, and she’d taken that when she’d left.

If there was one thing that all her research had taught her was that magical laws are rigid and precise. The chains will not and can not be broken - that is clear to both of them. She probably isn’t the first that has tried over the years - she could only imagine that he’s tried to free himself hundreds, probably thousands, of times.

So they cannot break them.

She doubts anyone bothered to stop them from being dismantled.

He stares at her incredulously when she pulls the screwdriver from her bag, like maybe she’s some kind of fool. And maybe she is.

But when the first screw hits the stone, she smiles brightly at the look of shock on his face.

“Pick all of them up, I don’t want anyone knowing how we figured this out,” she says bossily, hopping between her feet - her stockings have burnt through, ragged blacked edges having stretched back up above her ankle. She has more clothing at the house, but she’s mildly annoyed at the architect of this building for ruining them. It’s an uncomfortable heat, an odd sensation, but it doesn’t feel too bad as long as she keeps moving.

He fumbles for the screws as each of them fall - they are smaller than it feels like they should be for the size and weight of the chains, but there are so many of them.

And then…

And then the heavy chains drop free of the wall, and he is free. He stares at them in total bewilderment before he looks back up at her.

“Now you’re free,” she says breathlessly, jamming the screwdriver into her bag, and goes to help him stand. He’s unsteady but takes a deep breath as he begins to peel his feet from the stone. It’s horrific as the skin of his soles tears away, blistered and raw but not yet blackened, thankfully. He lets out a groan of pain, one that makes him sound every single day of his age, every single day of his pain.

She doesn’t say anything, she just supports him until they are finally, finally back on the dirt floor.

“Do you want to sit?” She asks quietly and he shakes his head.

“I want to get out,” he says stiffly, and she nods, as they move towards the exit.

It’s an awkward trip back up the stairs; the staircase is narrow, but he needs her guiding support for now, his legs shaking with each step. It takes twice as long as it should, with him pausing every so many steps, as she half-shoves him onto each step. His movements are made awkward from the brace, and she’s already trying to figure out how she’ll pry that thing off him.

And then…

She shoves open the trap door, the wood splintering. And even the feeble moonlight shining down from the broken window feels like someone has just lit up the room - the darkness of the cellar feels inky and oppressive in comparison; the oil-wells dimmer than they were when she descended.

He lets out a shuddering breath as he climbs out, into the fresh air, his eyes darting around the space.

“It’s okay, it’s only us,” she soothes. “You’re safe.”

He nods, but he doesn’t look at her. He’s staring at the boarded-up windows, at the broken glass and rotting pews and forgotten prayer books.

The look on his face reminds her of herself, when she awoke that first time in the woods alone. She knew nothing, had seen nothing in person… just the appreciation and awe of being there, in that place. A moment of simply being alive and in the world.

She remembers it well.

—

They sit inside the old church in silence for a while.

After a while, she begins to pull out first aid from her bag. “Let me,” she says softly, and he doesn’t protest - though he refuses to let her see the wounds under his threadbare clothing. She hasn’t got anything that will stitch his wounds, but she can clean the wounds and bandage them so that they at least stay sanitized and protected. The chemicals she has to use burn her nose, but they seem to work.

“Now, let’s have a look at the brace,” she says soothingly, the screwdriver back in her hand. He eyes her with suspicion but nods once for her to continue.

It’s not as easy as the chains. The brace is too tight and has bitten tight into his skin. The screws come out slowly, ad she doesn’t care that they roll amongst the glass and the debris.

The brace doesn’t fall away. Instead, she has to peal each piece away, skin and scar tissue tearing, leaving raw open wounds in their wake. But he doesn’t make a sound as each piece hits the floor. He just stares up at the piece of sky he can see.

And then it is gone. The wounds will scar, she knows it. But he has movement back, real movement again. His neck, his arms, his wings… Free again, a little bit more.

“Done,” she says softly.

“I don’t even know your name,” he finally says hoarsely, and looks back down at her, as she packs everything back up.

“Alice Cullen,” she says, and thinks about correcting herself. She’s not sure what surname she should be using honestly. She never had one of her own, and nothing else feels like it would fit. She was supposed to be Cullen for a while and then…

Well, she didn’t want to get ahead of herself. Cullen was fine.

He nods in acknowledgement before looking back up at the sliver of sky visible through the broken window.

“I want to leave this place,” he says in a steady voice.

“Of course.”

She wants to offer to burn it down. To tear it down with her bare hands for him. But he won’t understand, not yet.

“Let’s go.”

—

He finds his strength as soon as his feet hit the grass, enough to stand on his own and move away from her support, onto the grass, shivering as his feet sunk in for the first time… in so very long. His turns in a slow circle, just staring up at the clouds and the trees and the world outside he’s hellish, cursed little dirt prison.

He… to call it a scream is not accurate. It is a scream, a roar, a holler, a flood of grief and rage and resentment. It is pain and loss, swearing revenge against the one that did this to him. It is regret and heartbreak and relief.

He is free.

His wings stretch out reflexively, the black staining his hands and face faintly, and the full horror of what the brace has done to him is revealed beyond the splitting and tearing and stretching of the wounds - his wings only open as long as his arm-span; the humeral and secondaries appear to have been crushed from the brace. And the humerus bone appears to have been snapped and reset so that it cannot extend. Half of his wings are limp and crumpled against his spine, a dead and mottled colour.

He has been crippled, possibly forever.

Except…

She’s never really been in the business of giving up. Of looking at something and accepting a bad roll of the dice. She looks at his wings, slack and broken, and she wants to fix them. She’s already considering it, mentally adding splints and bandages, breaking and resetting bone, stitching back together the thin flesh that stretches over them. It would be painful and miserable and it would take a long, long time. And it might not work.

But she already knows that if it didn’t work, she’d take him to Carlisle. She’d take him to Carlisle and use every single trick in her book to convince him to help. She’d promise that Carlisle would never see her again, that she’d never bother any of them, if Carlisle would just fix him. She’d take him to Carlisle, to Aro, to goddamn Maria, if it meant helping.

Anything he needed. Or wanted. She would get it - she had waited for this for so long.

He’s silent now, and he turns to look at her with confusion on his face.

“I looked for you, you know. For almost forty years.” Her voice is soft, and his gaze turns wary. “I get …visions of the future. Of the path that I’m on. And you have always been in them. I saw you with Maria in the south. I saw you when you left with Peter and Charlotte. I never saw what happened, and how you ended up down there but I tried so hard to find you. I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.”

And he stares at her, the black receding from his body, the wings folding back into his body.

“What did you see?” He asks, and he sounds exhausted.

“That I love you. All of you, for as long as you’ll have me.”

He shakes his head, and for a second, he looks so young. “Did you see what happened when she remade me? When she worked out how to make her army more powerful?” He asks. “Did you see what it took to become this? Did you see what I became?”

“I did.”

“Ninety days. Of pain and sacrifice and being ripped into pieces and put back together. To feel the rage boil and burn until your skin,” he murmurs, looking back up at the cloudy night. “Of having this fresh, feral monstrosity of yourself fit itself inside of you and this… clarity of the world and how everything fits together. I’m not the man you want, Alice Cullen.”

“Yes, you are. And it’s … not Cullen anymore, not really. I left them because they wouldn’t let me find you.”

He’s silent, staring at her.

“They said I should think of you as good as dead and that wasn’t… you were still here. I just had to find you. I wasn’t going to mourn you just because you weren’t a vampire anymore. What Maria did to you didn’t change our future, so it didn’t matter to me. But it did to them. So I left them.” She shrugs. “I had enough money saved that I have my own home now - our home if you want it. But it’ll just be us.”

He looks at her hard, like he’s trying to look right through her.

“I was going to destroy you, you realize,” he says finally, his knees buckling but he sinks into the soft ground with dignity, leaning against a tree. “I was going to devour you whole.”

“I mean, with a safe word…” she begins and he lets out a chuckle.

“You aren’t what I was expecting,” he says finally, and she moves closer. She can smell rain on the air. “I’ve never met anyone who didn’t want to be remade like me as payment.”

She’s seen it. In a few decades, he’ll offer it as a form of protection. That the only thing more dangerous than a mated vampire and demon would be two mated demons roaming untethered to a master or mistress.

She’s seen futures where she accepts and they are … sublime. Glorious and terrible and so very, very happy. And she’s seen futures where she’s content with herself, and they are just as happy, just as fantastic and beautiful and fatal. It was never about the venom or the magic that flowed in their veins. It was always them.

“If you don’t want to stay with me, I can help you find Peter and Charlotte,” she offers. “You can recover in my home until then, and we can part as friends.”

He looks back up at the sky as the rain begins to fall, a smile stretching across his face as the water hits his face.

How long has it been since he’s seen and felt rain?

“I think I’d like to stay here for a while,” he says finally, and she can feel how tired and confused he is.

He doesn’t trust her yet - it will be a long time until he does, she knows that. Long after his wounds have healed - she’s certainly got some ideas for his wings, but it’ll be a while before he’s willing to hear her out - he’ll still treat her with suspicion. And that’s okay. She didn’t bet everything on him to be scared off so easily.

Sitting down beside him, she’s careful not to touch him. His eyes are glazed and dreamy as he watches the clouds and the rain, the darkness swallowing them up in the woods behind the church.

“You should rest,” she says softly. “We’ll have to leave before dawn, but we have a few hours.”

“I’m fine,” he corrects, but his words are slower and easier, and she doesn’t say anything else as he slowly drifts off, the cool rain on his face.

Jasper Whitlock. Major of the Confederate Army, turned by Maria of Monterrey back in 1863. The love of her life, who was supposed to show up at a diner in Philadelphia but never made it. The scourge of the South, a mythological monster forged out of pain and horror that most people couldn’t imagine, let alone survive.

And her reason for everything.

He looks… peaceful as he sleeps, the rain clinging to him and not even disturbing him. All the stress and pain and rage slipped off his face. He looked like a different person.

She doesn’t remember what sleep is like, and it’s strange to think of just not being for a while. To just be so vulnerable.

It’s a strange feeling, waiting for so long, and now being here with him. Watching him sleep in the rain, broken up into little pieces but somehow still standing.

The real thing is so much more than she ever anticipated.

Nothing will hurt him again. No one will imprison him again. He is free. She found him. Anything he wants, anything at all.

“I’ve got you, Jasper. I’ve got you."

[haechanniesunflowers]

Mafia!Ateez reaction to s/o being abused by her family

Warnings: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK domestic abuse, bruises, scars, toxic family behaviour, manipulation, torture, mentions of blood, smoking, murder, death

I'm so sorry if this made you uncomfortable, my dms are always open if you want to talk about anything

Requested by @racheloveyunho

It only gets darker and longer with the next member

Hongjoong

He came home early so you weren't prepared and were wearing a tanktop with shorts

He saw the bruises on your back and thighs

When he asked you about it later that day, you sobbed and told him that your brothers beat you because you insisted on moving in with Hongjoong

Would pretend that it didn't affect him but on the inside he's furious

He himself doesn't like to physically discipline anyone unless it is necessary or they get on his nerves and bring him to that point

How dare they lay a finger on you

He wouldn't change his behaviour with you, he'd be his usual caring self, all the while planning to knock some sense into your brothers

He laid a trap for your brothers to fall right into and met with them personally

He's a reasonable man so he started with talking to them but when they didn't listen and called him slurs he threatened to murder them

They knew Hongjoong was a part of a mafia and didn't want to anger him any further

They promised him that they would treat you better

Seonghwa

You told him you tripped and fell while you were packing your things to move in with him and that's how you got the bruise on your head and a busted lip

He bought it honestly because he's soft for you and couldn't see you like that so his focus was to get you the medical treatment you needed

You were happy with him and spent almost all of your time with him but he didn't want to hold you back form meeting your friends and family

You were ecstatic to meet your friends but not your family

They hurt you after all

So when he had someone drop you off to your family house, you were nervous but still went inside to meet them

What you got was taunts and verbal abuse

When you tried convincing them that Seonghwa was indeed very kind and loving towards you, they hit you so hard, you lost your balance and your back hit the glass corner of the table which you tried holding onto and ended up scratching your upper arm, drawing blood

You were shocked and hurt and ran out of the house

You hailed a taxi and went to your friend's house and told Seonghwa to pick you up from there

When he came home that night, you were already asleep

In the morning he woke up and found you in the kitchen at the brink of tears and you cheek was a little swollen and purplish

He asked you what happened but you said you liked hanging out with your friends yesterday and these were tears of joy and that your swollen cheek was because you ran into a glass wall

He believed you like always and wrapped his arms around you to pull you into an embrace and accidentally put pressure on the bruise on your back from yesterday

You yelped and arched your back

This time he didn't ask you but lifted your shirt to see for himself, despite your protests and was shocked to say the least

He made you feel comfortable enough to tell him that it was your family's doing

He reassured you that everything will be okay and that you could stay with him forever

That night he paid your family a visit after you went to sleep

They never contacted you again

Yunho

Your family was very religious and never really messed with you because Yunho made it very clear how protective he was towards you

Any bitter comment from your family would earn them a death glare from Yunho

He'd stare them down until they got super uncomfortable

Nobody knew what he was capable of, other than the fact that he was involved with a mafia

Your family wanted you to stay away from him but you loved him and he had promised to protect you and shield you from the mafia life

Yunho's girlfriend had no face, no one in the mafia world had ever seen you

One day you were visiting your family to celebrate your sister's birthday

You felt unwelcomed, you own blood was making you feel uncomfortable

When the guests had left and it was time to open the presents, your brother told you to go home

You were embarrassed but tried to reason with him that you guys were family

He started saying hurtful things and called you a slut and accused you of selling yourself to a dirty mafia rat who kills people for a living. He said you are nothing but his whore and he will replace you one day when he is tired of you and then you will have no one to turn to because they didn't consider you family anymore

You got up and went to the home. The home Yunho had made in the middle of a dense forest to hide you and came to see you almost every day

Yunho had decided to complete his work in advance today so he could spend more time with you in the next days, since you said you would be at your family house today

You unlocked the door and went in crying. You were wailing so hard that you laid on the floor in the lobby

You screamed when you felt someone grab you by your arms and made you sit up

Yunho looked at you in shock and worry, you nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck and cried your heart out, not caring if you were being loud and looking like a mess

You didn't need to tell him what had happened because he was aware your family had something to do with this

You woke up in bed the next day, feeling numb but had a severe headache

You looked around the room and saw a shirtless Yunho starting outside the window, you called out to him "Yunho..."

"I don't want to know what they did or said. I'm never ever going to allow you to meet them again. It took everything I had in me to stop from murdering them because I don't want to hurt you, but I can't have anyone else hurting you either"

He turned around and looked furious, you had only once seen him this angry when a spy from another mafia broke into your house and tried to stab you. Yunho had ripped his jaw off of his face with his bare hands in front of you and you fainted from shock from the intensity of the situation

Right now he had the same look on his face and you didn't want to anger him any further

Yeosang

He had never been the one to talk a lot

His calm and collected nature made people underestimate him

Your family used to love Yeosang and were supportive of your relationship with him, they were happy when you moved in with him, but that was before they knew who he was

Only you knew that Yeosang was a cold blooded killer. He was his gang's ace, he was sharp, very intelligent and very manipulative, not to mention he was the second most strongest member and was very good with weapons, his speciality being butterfly knives. He killed people the bad guys and felt no remorse. His gang members often joke that he only feels two emotions, rage when the bad guys cause menace and love towards you.

He got you pregnant and you were now worried but Yeosang had reassured you that no one in this world will ever lay a finger on you as long as he is by your side. He made you feel safe and loved. He didn't trust anyone to help you around the house so he stayed home to help you.

One day your family came over to meet you and ask after you unannounced, you being 7 months pregnant, were home alone

They wanted to see your huge house, you were nervous because you didn't want them to see some rooms but couldn't keep up with them because you got tired from walking

Then the unthinkable happened, they saw everything. They saw Yeosang's training room, his collection of knives and bulletin boards with photos of people, nasty looking people. One board had two sets of photos of the same person, one photo was for Yeosang to know who to attack and the other photo of the same person killed by him. Yeosang never wanted you to see the contents of the room, let alone your family.

They told you to come with them and to leave Yeosang but you tried to tell them that you were more than okay and wanted to stay with him

It all happened too fast, your father grabbed you by your arm, dragged you outside and forced you to sit in the car while your mother pleaded to him to not shove you around like that in this state. They didn't drive home, they were fleeing the city to get as far away from Yeosang as possible

You were screaming, your parents paid no attention to you, they thought you were protesting but actually you were screaming because of the excruciating pain you were experiencing. You were bleeding and your mom had noticed it but they were on a highway and there was no hospital nearby. They couldn't do anything about it so they kept driving out of the city, your father hoping the child would die in your womb because he now hated Yeosang and wouldn't be able to love his child either.

You fainted and after 2 hours of driving, they got to a hospital. No one knew but you were carrying twins, sadly one of them had died in your womb while the other was born healthy. You were now fighting for your life. Your parents were scared for you and afraid of being tracked down by Yeosang.

You and your baby spent a month in the hospital and recovered enough for your parents take you with them

On the other side Yeosang was on the verge of a mental breakdown. He was out looking for you, now scared and confused and in rage. He didn't know who had taken you away and was frustrated and tired but he couldn't let you go. You were the love of his life and the only person in the world who ever loved him.

He got a lead on you and within hours was outside the house where your parents were hiding you.

He broke in the house in the middle of the night and found you crying on the bed with a sleeping child by your side. He instantly became soft at the sight, all the rage he had in him was replaced by love. He softly called to you and you whipped your head up and instantly ran to him.

You begged him not to harm your parents and he couldn't say no. He silently took you and his month old son back home in the dead of the night

San

San was not one person, he had two kinds of personalities, one was a ruthless assassin and the other, a passionate lover. Both personalities had him being manipulative in common

He absolutely hated your family because you were a free spirit and liked taking risks while they were the complete opposites and often tried holding you back but you always loved an adventure and that's how you ended up with Choi San.

You dispised your family the same as they did you. You were so used to the beating that you felt nothing now. Profanities were very common too and you wanted nothing but to slap each and every one of them and run away.

You were head over heals for him the moment he crossed paths with you but you didn't show that to him. He tried manipulating you into getting you to sleep with him but you knew better and brushed him off

He was used to women being on their knees for him so you not doing that was a challenge for him and he was hell bent on getting you to like him

He was going crazy over you and started meeting you at your workplace during his missions, like he had to kill a man in 30 minutes but he just had to see you first

When you weren't giving in to his art of seduction, he tried a different way

He asked you out like a decent human being and you said yes, wow that was easy, right?

No, you made him work hard for your love and affection and he was obsessed with making you happy to feel loved by you and by the time San realized what was going on, it was too late

He was madly in love with you and practically drooling over you

He finally asked you to move in with him and you said yes even though you knew your family would disapprove. You went home and packed your stuff and tried to leave but your family members didn't let you leave and in an effort of saving you from inevitable destruction which was Choi San, they beat you to the point you passed out.

They texted San from your phone, pretending to be you and told him to stay away and leave you alone, that you wanted nothing to do with him.

San was confused and scared when he got that text from you and texted you back to take your time and rethink your decision.

You woke up in your room at some point during the night, unable to open one eye because it had been bruised badly. Your head was bleeding and the blood had dried on your face. You left leg hurt a lot because of you lying in an unnatural position. You didn't have your phone or anything else

You felt empty and all you wanted was to be in San's loving embrace

It was now or never

You escaped from your window and somehow managed to get to San's front door, it was almost morning

You knocked on his door and called for him

He opened the door after some time and took in your form

He was in too much rage but he had to tend to you first

A few weeks later he came home and told you that he made sure your family is now in another city far away from you and won't contact you again

A tear slipped down your face, you were free from their torment

You kissed San and thanked him

He would do anything to make you happy

Mingi

Mingi was the notorious mafia leader who has connections with the government and the dark world

He had money and fame (the good and bad kind) and all that was missing was love and you filled that void

He loved you too much and would never let anyone hurt you

People knew better

So your own family, your own blood hurting you for wanting to live with Mingi didn't sit well with him

He was distracted at work and all he could see was your face, your tear filled eyes, your bruised arm and your distraught state

He wished he had sent someone to get you from your family house sooner so you didn't have to go through the abuse

He wished you never told them about it and just moved in with him

You were in his home, resting in his bed, thinking about what had happened

Did they really didn't see any good in Mingi?

Did they really have to hit you?

Did you do the right thing?

These thoughts flooded your mind and you were just as distracted

Mingi came home in a hurry and told you to come with him

You asked him where you guys are going and he says we're going to get back at them

He took you to your house and barged right in, unannounced

Seeing Mingi in person was overwhelming and your family were scared, pleading to him to let them go

Mingi told them that he was going to kill them for hurting you and there was panic and chaos

You came to stand next to him, squeezed his hand and softly told him that you want to go home

He couldn't say no to you so he warned them that this isn't over and took you home

You talked to Mingi and convinced him to let them go because they were your family after all

He's the one who said that if the loved toy and cared for you, they wouldn't hurt you like this and family doesn't mean you have to tolerate this kind I'd behavior when you're old enough to make decisions for yourself

You kissed him and wondered why couldn't your family see the good in him

Wooyoung

It started off with you slowly telling your folks about what Wooyoung did for a living

You were smart, so you didn't tell them about his business until you moved in with him otherwise they would have disapproved

You didn't mention that he tortured people and killed them without remorse, no, you said that he works with an organization that eliminates evil people which was true in essence

Your family was having none of it

They wanted you as far away from him as possible

You loved him and he loved you but they didn't believe it

They kept you from leaving the house and since Wooyoung was away for some time on a mission he didn't know

It was only when he got home that he found out that you hadn't returned, but he didn't think much of it because you were with your family

You on the other hand were panicking not only because you were being forced to stay away from Wooyoung but also because you just found out that you were pregnant

You had to get back to him no matter what

You refused to eat or talk to your family members, only demanding to meet Wooyoung

When he didn't get any message from you he began to get suspicious

He sent someone disguised as a delivery boy over to your house to check up on you and got word that you were sick and locked in your room

He got up and drove to your house in the middle of the night and broke through the front door. He didn't care who got in his way and pushed and punched whoever protested

He got to your room and demanded that you open it

You did and jumped at him, told him you were pregnant and they were keeping you from going back to him and cried

He took you in his arms and was taking you back with him

Your father threatened to call the police and Wooyoung simply said "say hi to chief inspector Jeon from me" leaving the father shocked

You were happy to be back with your lover and were excited about the baby, the same as Wooyoung

Jongho

Probably the strongest man in the whole mafia world

Everyone feared him

He didn't have to say twice for what he wanted because people had heard how he smashed someone's skull open with his bare fists

He had asked you to move in with him and you happily said yes

But when you told your family about your decision they asked you if you were crazy

You didn't listen to them and started packing

They weren't going to let you go to some barbarian

But you weren't listening so they had to do it the hard way

Deep down you were happy to leave because your family had always been abusive and toxic

When you were asked to leave with your suitcases your father grabbed you by your arm and shoved you against the wall

"you bitch, you really think you can disobey me?"

Your mother held you by your hair and slapped you so hard your nose started bleeding

They beat you severely and you had stopped screaming at this point

You thought you were going to die when they left you like this on the kitchen floor

You don't know what got into you but you got on your feet and ran out the front door where you were stopped by Jongho waiting for you beside his car

He saw you and gently pushed you aside and went straight inside the house

He came out after almost 20 minutes, blood splattered on his face and clothes

You were already in shock from the beating that you didn't question him

He got in the car with you, held your face in his hands and said "don't worry, I called an ambulance for them, they just might be okay"

With that your heart sank but you were too shaken to feel sad for them so you just cried

Jongho took you home

[softsebnbuckystan]

Soul ties - Part 6 (Bucky Barnes au)

"Hold, hold on, hold onto me

'Cause I'm a little unsteady"

Word count : 2061

Sleep didn't seem to come to you that night, and you didn't know whether the reason was the pizza you'd had for dinner, your husband's obvious neglect or your supposed soulmate sleeping in the same building. After tossing and turning in your bed for over three hours, you grabbed a pillow and a plaid, put on your slippers and went into the main kitchen. A herbal tea under the stars should  be a good way to help you sleep, right? You tried to stay as silent as you  could despite the boiling water in the kettle – you always refused to microwave water – and picked some chamomile infusion Wanda had chosen. With your cup in one  hand, you opened the picture window. One thing you liked about the compound was the few balconies it had : they weren't too big, but they were large enough for you to sit on a pillow and look at the stars, your back against the wall. You were once again trying to spot constellations,  the August sky being perfect for this kind of exercise.

"Can't sleep?"

You almost spilled your tea on your plaid.

"Sorry I scared you."

You smiled weakly at the man who'd just joined you. "It's fine. Wanna sit here with a fellow insomniac?"

Bucky ran a hand through his hair before sitting on your left. His right arm brushed against your exposed skin and you tried to hide your shivers.

"What's keeping you up?" You ask. "I mean,  you obviously don't have to tell me."

"Nothing much. Some nightmares."

"Are they ones about...about the war?"  Your question startled him ; he shot you a  confused look as you lowered yours. "Sorry. Steve told me a few times about his best friend Bucky and I... I made the connection."

"I thought Steve avoided talking about those things."

"What? The way he lost you?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry, that was tactless."

"Don't worry about that." He looked at the sky, leaning his head against the wall. "Wanna tell me what's keeping you up?"

"Well, it's quite ridiculous really," you eluded.

"Steve told me why you're spending time here. Is it him that keeps you up at night?"

You sipped on your tea for a few seconds. "I guess so. It's just that I keep thinking about what I'm doing wrong, you know? I must be doing something wrong."

You heard him take a breath, his shoulders raising with his chest. His arm against yours felt strange, in a good kind of way. You'd never felt so close to anyone in such a short amount  of time, and you wondered what made him so special aside from the meaningful tattoo you shared.

"I don't think you're to blame. Can I be honest?"

"Sure."

"I'm sorry if I seem out of place, because we only met a week ago but..."

"You feel like I get you, right? Just  like I feel that you get me."

He nodded calmly. "He doesn't seem to realise who he was lucky enough to marry."

"Lucky, huh?"

You looked at him with a smile and had it not been so dark, you could've sworn a red tint had reached his cheeks. "You're hella smart," he explained. "And from what I've seen, you're kind."

"And you think that after two days with me?"

He shrugged and allowed himself a quiet laugh. "You let Sam get the last piece of pizza earlier. I would have never done that."

"True. That is my most selfless act ever." Jumping on his joke felt natural and as it turned out, he had a communicative laugh.

"Why  don't you laugh more often? I like it."

Bucky looked you  in the eyes, paralysing you with his blue pupils again. It seemed as if he was searching for what to say.

"There aren't a lot of things that make me laugh. You do, though."  This one didn't sound like a joke, and you placed your hand on his forearm, instantly sending a funny feeling down to your stomach.

"Consider me flattered," you said. "Can I ask you a question? Don't feel like you're forced to answer, though."

"Sure."

"I'm just curious, working in biochem and stuff... I'm basically the school nurse for theses guys," you explained. "So how does it feel, the metal arm? Do you...feel things the way you do with your right arm?"

He stopped for a moment. "I did not expect that question. That's a good surprise." He raised his left hand in front of him. "It's weird, actually. This one is really advanced. Shuri did an amazing job with it, but... sometimes I'll touch something and think I feel something. I know it's my brain playing tricks on me, but it's not that sentient. I feel pressure, tension...but not actual human sensations." He let his hand fall down on his knees.

"Do you miss it?"

"I got used to it. But yeah."

"Okay, close your eyes."

"What?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Y/n, we met last week."

"I know! But like, it's not a 'do you trust me with your life' situation. Think of it as 'do you trust me with basic skills' kind of thing." You chuckled. "Now close your eyes."

Bucky gave in and you gently grabbed his metal hand. "What do you feel now?" you asked,  stroking the back of his hand.

"I know there's something on my hand. And I know it's harmless. But...nothing more, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's part of you."

"And you don't mind that?"

"Why would I?" you shrugged. "It's you."

"Even if I were to do this?" He slowly raised his hand, approaching your face. You let him place his hand on your cheek. It didn't feel like flesh and bone, but it still felt right.

"Yes, even then." You held up his gaze, searching those blue eyes for any sign. Signs of what exactly, you didn't know yet. All you wanted was to stare into them forever, never leave this state of mind.

When Bucky's hand fell down your shoulder and kept running down your arm,  a thousand shivers ran down your spine. You couldn't – shouldn't – feel this way. You were married now, and doing this... To prevent  you from doing anything stupid, you looked away and leaned back against the wall. Getting away from him still was out of your league, though ; you settled for resting your head on his shoulder and spread your plaid over both your bodies. It might've been because nights were fresh, even in August, but it was mostly to make sure you were as close to him as you could be. Before falling asleep, the last thing you felt was Bucky's head letting itself fall on top of yours.

---

"Hey, you need to wake up."

The morning sun made you blink and you felt something on your thigh. Lowering your gaze, you noticed Bucky's hand. You tried not to freak out and looked up at whoever had spoken : Steve. Bucky shifted next to you, woken up by Steve's words  as well.

"What's going on?" you asked. Steve might have been the best at hiding concern, he couldn't always hide it from you.

He sighed. "Darren's here."

"Shit." You got up more abruptly than you should've, causing you to lean on Steve's shoulder for a second. "Where is he?"

"Right here."

You turned around, seeing Darren standing in the doorframe. Well, that was unfortunate. You thought you should've been feeling some sort of guilt after being found in another man's arms – technically ; all you felt was anger. You were angry that he'd showed up after standing you  up last night, you were angry about the neglect and his overall lack of care.

"What are you doing here?" you asked sharply.

"Bringing you home. Why didn't you come back?" His arms were crossed over his chest and he shot Bucky a furious look. "And why were you sleeping outside with this guy?"

Rubbing your forehead, you gestured towards Steve and Bucky.  "Could you guys leave us a minute, please?"

Even though Steve nodded and walked back inside, Bucky seemed unsure about  leaving you alone with your husband. You gave him a brief smile and he took the hint.  As you closed the door behind him to have some privacy – the door was made of glass, but oh well –, Darren started pacing.

"Did you cheat on me last night?"

"What the hell?" You  couldn't believe your ears. "You're kidding, right? You stood. Me. Up. You didn't even bother telling me in advance that you'd go at Brad's, and you didn't even come home. Didn't you think I was tired of being alone every night?"

"You're never alone."

"Damn it, Darren,  you came home past dinner every day since we got married! We should be on our honeymoon right now, and yet you don't even bother kissing me goodnight."

"That's all this is about? I work a little too much and you go away to your so-called family?" He'd stopped pacing and raised an eyebrow, proud of his innuendo. His insinuating Steve and the gang weren't your family made your blood boil.

"So-called? So-called, Darren? I love these people. They are my family and they've been more present for me today than you have in a week. What did you expect? That I would happily ask to be invited at Brad's, when I clearly am not welcome there?"

"You are welcome, what the hell are you talking about?"

"They don't like me, and you know that very well." You looked at the ground. You might've been angry, but never being able to fit in within Darren's social circle had always hurt you.

"Maybe you're not trying hard enough."

No words came out of your mouth. How could you say anything to that? This was the ultimate insult. You had given so much to this relationship that you'd never even thought that 'not trying hard enough' could've been  the reason they  disliked you. First dinner with them, Brad's wife had made fun of what was left of your Sokovian accent, asking Darren if he wanted you to help you get a green card. Of course you'd called her out on her racism. She got upset, but was it your fault? No. During a night out, Brad had been too handsy with you and when telling Darren about it, he'd told you that you were reading too into it, that he was just being friendly. They weren't good people, and you'd always wondered why Darren bothered hanging out with them.

"That's it, go away." You let out an exasperated sigh, opening the door. "You're going to leave the compound to go home and calm down. Maybe I'll be back in a few days."

"I'm not going anywhere without you." That could've sounded romantic. In his mouth, it sounded more like a threat.

"Hell yeah, you are. Now go. My birthday is in three days, and I don't want you to be like this then."

"Right, your birthday. Don't count on me to celebrate it if you don't bother coming home."

You closed your eyes for a moment before gesturing him to leave. He ultimately walked through the glass door and you saw him make eye-contact with Wanda on his way out. You knew she was trying hard not to throw him against a wall or something. You ran your hand through your hair, taking in what had just occurred. You knew Darren would feel better the next day and that it would be like nothing ever happened. You just weren't sure anymore whether it was a good thing or not.

"Don't worry, you can stay here longer," you heard Steve say.

"You're better off with us anyway," Wanda told you.

"You know he's-"

"Please, don't defend him," your sister pleaded. "He's not treating you right and you know it. He hasn't for years. Why are you-"

"Wanda, please. Not here."

You looked at Bucky out of the corner of your eye ; you didn't want to have that conversation in front of him, for some reason. Maybe deep down, you knew he'd side with Wanda. Having your sister call you out was hard enough ; you didn't need your soulmate to start doing it as well.

--- I just finished part 9 so I'm posting part 6 because I can't wait to have your opinion on this one!! Don't forget you can message me anytime to be added to the tag list :)

Tag list :

@ginger-swag-rapunzel @joscelyn02

[sckyie]

word count: 2.5k

genre + warnings: enemies to lovers; coworkers, office love, alcohol mentioned, swearing

pronouns used: she/her

a/n: hi hi here’s my exchange gift for @coophi! happy holidays and stay safe, i hope you like what i wrote for you! [ this was apart of @/haikyuucreations secret santa ]

You put your forehead on the table groaning at the recent news. "You'll get'em next time, Y/n," your coworker rubbed your back. You sighed louder as you heard something being placed on your desk. You shift your face towards the corner of the surface to see a coffee cup with your name scribbled on the side.

You rolled your eyes and looked up to see the new lead, Kuroo, being congratulated by everyone. "That was supposed to be my promotion," You grumbled. You stared at the coffee up and walked over to Kuroo's desk. Leaving the filled cup, you excused yourself to the bathroom.

Kuroo watched as you rejected his peace offering before leaving the office. He understood how you felt once you heard that you didn't get the promotion. Your papers were perfect, clients loved you both, but the one thing keeping you from getting the promotion was simple. Kuroo's numbers were much higher than yours and it crushed yours.

The thought of endless nights staying late to catch up became pointless. The effort in surpassing him wasn't necessary anymore. All your work, all your stressful nights, everything didn't matter to the manager and execs.

"Hmph," Kuroo seated himself and stared at your drink on his desk.

"Something wrong, Kuroo?" Your coworker peeked beside him.

"Oh nothing," He responds.

You return to your desk, side-eyeing your now superior. You took a deep breath before returning to your paperwork.

Numbers, numbers, numbers. You spent your shift calculating, writing, and fixing errors. The jumble of text on your screen began to hurt your brain for working so hard.

The day dreaded on as the anger in you fumed. It wasn't that you were mad for not getting the promotion. You were furious that out of all people it'd be Kuroo who got it. You despised his snarky, overly confident facade and his petty ways of trying to show you how great he was.

Finally, your shift comes to an end but so does Kuroo's. You two walk together to the elevators though you tried your hardest avoiding him. "Did I get your order wrong?" Kuroo smirked as he pressed the lobby button.

"I don't want your pity coffee," You muttered.

"It's not a pity coffee," He rebutted. "It was a hot chai latte."

"Haha," You mocked. "I don't even like chai."

"Then what do you like?" Kuroo smiled.

"Not you," You immediately walked out of the elevator, making your way to the parking lot.

"Tsk," He was the tiniest bit irritated by your tone but decided to try again tomorrow.

Papers, papers, papers. Endless papers for you to edit and write at home. It was torture but how else could you succeed in your career. Things were already shit with Kuroo trying to be friends with you. Nevertheless, you finished at least ten pages of reports for tomorrow's agenda.

Early morning, you arrived at the office before everyone like normal. Kuroo arrives with two coffees and a small brown bag. He walked over, placing the snack and cup on your desk without a word. He walks to his desk and begins his work without interacting.

You turn the cup to check what it was. "Café latte," You mouthed. You peeked in the small bag to see a blueberry muffin. Before you could return the drink, people began to file into the room. You rolled your eyes and sipped on the drink.

"Success," Kuroo thought to himself as he watched you snack and sip the offerings.

It became a daily thing for Kuroo to bring you drinks. Never the same one twice, but always a blueberry muffin. You gave in to his gesture and thanked him silently whenever he passed by.

Your favorite interaction however was his failed attempt in talking to you. "You come here often?" He asked as he placed your coffee on your desk.

"Considering I work here, yes," You say sarcastically.

"Wow I'm literally so stupid," Kuroo thought. Kuroo saw many opportunities to talk to you more but fell nervous every time. It was always hard for him to get close to someone new. His past relationships had left him hopeless for his own future. The toxicity from the past girls left him thinking he'd never be happy with someone. These past few years, he'd been focusing on himself.

Then you walked into his life. After being transferred to a new branch, you seemed different than any other girl he's met. Kuroo saw hope in you and believed that you could be the light of his love life. He admired your attention to detail, your determination, and well, your beauty. Kuroo saw all your greatest features yet he could never bring himself to tell you his admiration.

One day, you had already a shitty morning and didn't want to deal with anything at work. From annoying traffic to angry clients to the blisters from your heels, you wanted more than anything for the day to end.

A few upset clients later, your head began to pound and you excused yourself for an early break. Kuroo turned to see you sulk away, causing him to furrow his eyebrows.

"What's with Y/n?" He asks his desk neighbor.

"Oh, two of her clients weren't co-operating and it's getting her frustrated," She responded. "She's been having a bad day."

Kuroo looks at your desk curiously and noticed how you had removed your heels under your desk. "Be right back," Kuroo gets up from his desk and walked over to the shared kitchen area to grab some things.

You returned from your short break to be greeted with a small pile of things. Bandages for your blisters, medicine for your headache, water, and a cut-up apple. "Take it easy," You found a post-it on the water bottle. You looked at your screen to see your client queue cleared with everyone on the list as approved. Confused as ever, you make use of the mystery goods to tend to your needs.

"Attention everyone, tonight Ryu here is throwing a little work party at his apartment," Your manager announced. "It is a small goodbye party for him and congratulations to our new lead, Kuroo." You rolled your eyes at Kuroo's name and continued to snack on the apples.

Later that night, you arrived at Ryu's house, catching Kuroo's attention. "Woah," Your male coworker gasped at the sight of you. "Damn, how is she single."

"Hey calm down, Kuroo-san has a crush on her," Other teased.

"Fuck off and keep my love life out your mouth," Kuroo nudges his shoulder. Though they weren't wrong, you were stunning. Dressed to impress and you even put your hair down from your usual updo. Kuroo was left speechless, thus leaving him too anxious to tell you anything.

After one cheesy speech and a big congratulations, the drinking began. Kuroo began to get too into the moment, having one too many drinks. You, however, stayed sober the whole party. You snickered at the sight of your drunk colleagues.

Kuroo's cheeks were bright red and he walked funny. He made his way towards you and you couldn't help but laugh. This was his chance to confess. "I- I- want-" He hiccuped between words. Kuroo began to get lost in thought, forgetting he was drunk confessing. "I- want my- keys- I- need- need  to go- home."

"I don't think so," You snatch his keys from the key holder before he could. "Do you want me to take you home?" He nodded excessively as you rolled your eyes. You chat with Ryu shortly before taking Kuroo to your car.

"Kamikita Apartments," You say. You had asked Ryu as you saw no hope in getting anything out of Kuroo. He slowly fell asleep in your car as you drove through the lit city. "I hope you know, I'm only doing this because you're drunk. I still don't like you."

"Mhm," Kuroo says in his sleep. You giggled at his expression all the way to his apartment.

Kuroo rests his arm around your shoulder as you two made your way to the apartment. You unlock the door and Kuroo immediately walks to the bedroom. Once he realized you weren't behind him, he turns back. "Where'd you go?" He pouted.

"Nowhere," You followed into his room. "Where are your pajamas- Oh, here. Change while I get you water."

Kuroo obeys your order and seats himself as he waited for his water. To him, he had already confidently talked to you about how he felt. Yet in reality, he was too drunk to even comprehend the front of his shirt.

"Here," You notice the tag in the front of his shirt as he chugged the water. "Your shirt is backward."

"Help me?" He begged. You facepalm at his tone but agreed. It felt like you were taking care of a baby. Your cheeks flushed pink once you helped him take off his shirt. You stopped to admire his face as you adjusted the middle of his sleep shirt. His hands move to rest on your hips. "It's so cold. Thank you for helping me change. Oh, and Y/n?"

"Y-yes?" You stuttered at his large hands.

"I have something to tell you," His voice started to sound sleepy. "I love you." Your eyes widen and you couldn't show him your shy expression.

"Tell me that again when you're sober," You move his hands away from you. Making your way to the light switch, you looked at the sad Kuroo. "I'll sleep in the living room. Just- go to bed."

Thankfully you had a change of clothes in your trunk that you used to sleep in. You got ready for bed, chuckling at the sounds of Kuroo snoring next door to the bathroom.

You laid silently on the couch staring at the ceiling. Those three words, you never thought you'd hear them from him of all people. It'd been years since your last break up, so you'd always been so closed off when it came to men. After getting heartbroken, you didn't think another man could love you. Kuroo was no exception. Sure he was handsome but you were adamant about staying single for the longest.

The thought of Kuroo in your life lingered up until the morning. He had woken up before you and found himself with a pounding headache. He made his way to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water. As he drank his water, he spit-sprayed the water out of his mouth when he spots you sleeping. He began to cough aggressively before collecting himself. "Wha- what is she doing here?!" He whispered.

You woke up to the sound of your dying colleague, rubbing your eyes to the bright room. Kuroo walked over to you as you sat up, pulling the blanket to your lap. "Good morning," You yawned. "How's the hangover?"

"What are you doing here?" Kuroo panicked.

"You were shit-faced. This was the one thing I could do for repaying you for the coffees," You say.

"Did I do- did I say anything stupid?" He hides his face in his hands.

"You told me something," You began to fiddle with your thumbs. "I don't know if you meant it or not, but you told me you loved me."

"I...did?" Kuroo slowly moves his hands to look at you. Your face was red and you were playing with your sleeves now.

"Well, did you mean it?" You ask. "If you didn't..."

Kuroo reached over and pulled your chin up with his index knuckle and thumb. "I meant it," He says. "I really did."

Your face grew warmer at his words. "Why?" You sighed. "I'm so mean to you."

"Because," Kuroo moves his hand away to stare at his lap. "I love your smile. I love the way you work. I love how determined you are. The way you sign your papers with a tiny heart. The way you laugh at the smallest things. And...I know you might hate my guts but ever since I saw you, I admired you. You make so many people smile and bring happiness to the room. I thought I'd been on your shit list but I'm glad you took care of me- See that's another thing, you put yourself after everyone else. That's why I gave you bandaids, buy you coffee, finished your quotas for you. I just think you deserve better than what you have right now. And I'm so impressed by you-"

You got annoyed by his rambling and decided to grab his cheeks. You interrupted his words by crashing your lips into his. "You literally talk so much," You pulled away. "Can I talk now?"

Kuroo was stunned at the fact that you just kissed him to shut him up. "You just- kissed-" You pressed your lips on his again to keep him quiet. He deepened the kiss before you could pull away. "You can talk." He smiled as he pulled away.

"Okay," You move from his face. "I wanted to say, you weren't on my shit list or whatever. I was upset I didn't get the promotion and I didn't like your attitude. But, getting to know you I learnt how different you really are. Especially when you’re drunk, it's funny. Besides that, I didn't know how you felt, I didn't notice all the things you've done for me."

Kuroo placed his palm on yours, carefully comparing the size of it to yours. "I didn't think I could fall in love with someone who didn't give me the time of day," He says. You moved your fingers to trace his.

"How are you so sure that you love me?" You laced your fingers with Kuroo's.

"That's the thing, I'm not sure," Kuroo looked down at his lap. "I did all those things just to make your days easier. I thought all the small gestures I did, wouldn't matter to you. That they were just tedious things that bothered you. To be honest, I'm afraid of letting someone into my heart. I was drunk when I told you and I meant it but I want to know for sure that I'm in love with you before anything."

"Do you want to find out?" You say softly.

"Only if you'd let me," Kuroo looked up to see you smiling at him. You nodded and leaned in for another kiss. "Man if only your kisses made this hangover go away."

You rolled your eyes and pressed your lips against his once more. The feeling of his hands move to your waist caused the heat in your face to return. Kuroo pulls you to straddle his lap as he deepened the kiss. Your hands rest on his shoulders while he rubbed your sides.

"I promise to make you the happiest woman in the world," He whispered as he pulled away.

"Do I still get morning coffee?" You giggled.

"And your blueberry muffin," Kuroo chuckled. You smiled before pecking his lips. You rest your head on the crook of his neck as he rubbed your back. "I won't disappoint you."

taglist: @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme @just-a-siiimp @d0llpie @elianetsantana

[inklordgalileox]

Behind Enemy Ties 4 - Much Ado About Knothing

It took three days and a lot of attention from Loren, Josh, and Davis for Carlyn to get over his time with Johann. He was insatiable during those three days, and miserable because of it. Carlyn hated being demanding, it made him feel like his mother's son, but his body was roaring, furious he'd let Johann go with fucking him senseless. His words to Johann came echoing back at him.

It's like there's this disconnect in their heads between what they know they want, and what they’ll allow an alpha to do, he'd told Johann, mystified.

But now it was his own body betraying him, demanding things from him that he didn't want to act on.

Betas are the only sensible people, Johann had said, and Carlyn wondered if it wasn't right.

Yet, his harem seemed content to baby him, bring him cold water and hot meat when he felt like drinking or eating, and otherwise taking turns letting him ravish them, sometimes two at a time to keep his mouth busy, until he was too tired to move and fell asleep, once while still inside one of them.

Carlyn did what little work he could manage from home, overseeing details of The Fangs operation, and receiving his sub-bosses in his bedroom.

On the third day at home, Lyric, curious to know what happened with the robbery at the compound, arrived at the house. Carlyn received her in his bedroom with all of his harem, still naked from sleeping. Lyric assumed what she wanted about what had happened with Johann, and Carlyn let her assumptions stand uncorrected. In any case, she was delighted.

“Finally acting like an alpha, little brother,” Lyric said. “I’m proud of you.”

Carlyn took her compliment with a smile-like wince and wondered if she considered at all what Johann had or hadn't consented to. Lyric stayed for a few hours, had dinner, and looked over the cleanup details of the compound before leaving. Alone with his harem, Carlyn was ready to settle in for the evening. He was dead tired.

Then the doorbell rang. Since Josh, Loren, and Davis were all curled up watching a movie, and Carlyn was up, heading for the stairs anyway, he told them not to get up and went for the door himself. He figured it was his mother or other siblings, the only people in his life who showed up unannounced to his house. But when he opened the door, he didn’t find family on the other side; he found Johann.

He wasn’t dressed in military style fatigues. He wore jeans and a t-shirt with sneakers. His dirty blond hair was loose and fell nearly to his shoulders. Carlyn hadn’t noticed it was so long or even that it had been pulled back.It made him wonder what else he failed to notice when the smell of an omega was in the air.

Johann was frowning, but he looked so good. He smelled clean, and his pheromones were low and unnoticeable.

“Johann?”

“Can I come in?” Johann asked.

“Sure.”

They walked inside. And once the door was shut and locked, Carlyn led Johann into the kitchen where they could talk.

“Glad I got dressed for dinner,” Carlyn muttered.

“Lounging naked?” Johann said. “Alphas love to show off, don’t they?”

“It’s more of a comfort thing, really. Can I get you something to drink? Ice water? Juice?”

“You’re not going to offer me wine like a fucking grown up?”

Carlyn shifted in place. “I didn’t think you’d want me to offer you alcohol.”

“Let’s not play stupid games, Carlyn,” Johann sighed. “If you’d wanted to have your way with me, you could have had it. I’m not an idiot.”

Carlyn said nothing but turned and took down two wine glasses and a bottle of red wine. After pouring, he handed a glass to Johann, who drained half of it at once before licking his lips.

“That’s good.”

“Glad you like it,” Carlyn muttered, then sipped his own wine.

“The Legion wants to know what you're offering.”

“Anything you would steal, I’ll give to you.”

“And they want to know what you get out of this. Something-something instinct, isn’t an answer.”

Laughing, Carlyn swished his wine. What was he expecting to get out of this? What did he want?

“I want to know about The Lucretian Legion,” he said honestly. “I want to know what you’re up to, what your goals are, and if they interfere with The Fangs’ goals.”

“They don’t.”

“I’d believe you if you hadn’t blown a hole in one of our walls.”

“Right.” Johann muttered. “Stay here a minute.” He finished his glass and turned and walked out of the kitchen. “Hey guys,” Carlyn heard him say as passed through the living room.

Carlyn waited. In the distance, he heard the front door open and close. He sipped his glass, wondering what Johann was doing, wondering if this was the last time he’d ever see him. After a few minutes the front door opened again, then closed. Carlyn didn’t speak to Josh, Davis and Loren on his way back to the kitchen. He came in and crossed his arms over his chest.

“The Legion accepts.”

“I see.”

“There’s a condition.”

“Which is?”

Johann looked at him, and that unmistakable look of rage crossed his features for a moment. “I’ll be staying to monitor you for the length of this agreement. This… pretend bond is what we’ll go with. I’ll be your only link to The Legion. You get no other members, no locations, no nothing. You talk to them through me, or not at all. Deal?”

Carlyn kept his face neutral as that same voice inside his head from before roared in approval. “Deal,” he said. He never had to hear an omega say yes twice.

#

Johann’s apartment in the heart of downtown was a small, unassuming studio, perfect for a single omega all on his own. While Johann packed with the help of Josh and Davis, Loren took a long slow walk around the place, her tiny notebook and favorite pen in hand scribbling notes and making little drawings. Carlyn stood in the middle of the apartment, not touching anything, as he’d been instructed to do as they came up the stairs and trying to stay out of everyone’s way.

Carlyn would admit that he hadn’t been expecting such a cheerful place to be Johann’s home. The kitchen was bright and clean, with simple, practical dishware and organized almost Spartan cabinets with no doors on them. The bed area was tidy and under filled, with a dresser next to the closet, a mirror tucked behind a folding screen and a bed partially hidden behind a tucked curtain hanging from rollers on the ceiling. In the living area was a dining table and a few chairs behind a small sofa, both set in front of a TV. Off to the side was a set of weights, a mat, a punching bag, and a pull-up bar stand. Between the little gym and the TV, there was a bookcase filled with DVDs and tabletop games.

What the apartment did not look like the lair of a member of a radical paramilitary vigilante group. The Lucretian Legion’s coat of arms, which Johann had described as an omega symbol above two crossed swords and haloed by a laurel wreath, couldn’t be found anywhere.

When he thought about it, Carlyn supposed it made sense. Nothing connecting him to The Fangs was on display in his eight-hundred-thousand dollar, 5-bedroom manor house, because he had guests over and threw parties and that would just be stupid. Still, somehow Carlyn had expected Johann to be less subtle than he was.

“I like your place,” Carlyn called across the apartment.

“It is darling,” Loren said. “Take as much as you want. Our home is your home.”

“I like it too,” Johann muttered. “I don’t think I’ll be taking much, though. It’s not like I’ll be inviting anyone over.”

“Won’t that be suspicious?” Davis asked.

Carlyn winced as he watched Johann turn his full attention on Davis. The two omegas watched each other for a second, before Davis gave a cheeky smile and Johann sighed.

“I’ll take the games and the DVDs. There’s no point and leaving anything I like in an empty apartment anyway, I guess.”

“Sensible,” Davis agreed and went back to packing.

Deciding his input would only make Johann angry, Carlyn turned his back to the bed and wandered over to the bookshelf. He wasn’t going to touch anything. He just wanted to see what sort of interests Johann had.

“Are you going to pack that stuff?” Johann asked.

“You told me not to touch anything, so I was going to do that.”

Johann sighed. “You can pack my bookcase.”

“Alright.”

“I’ll pack the kitchen,” Loren called. “I want to unpack it as well, so I know where everything is.”

Davis, Josh, and Johann packed the bedroom and kitchen. Loren packed the kitchen. Carlyn packed the living area. The bigger items that were being brought to Carlyn’s house or to storage, they hired movers to carry. The movers were three alphas. It had been three days since their stay together, and Johann had taken several doses of Loren’s alpha repelling tonic, but he still smelled enough like Carlyn for the movers to tell what was going on -or supposed to be going- from context. Though they thankfully said nothing, they directed their questions to Carlyn, not to any of the omegas. Normally, Carlyn was fine answering for his harem. He'd never even noticed himself doing it before. However, Johann’s gaze burned into the back of his head and he knew how Johann felt about the situation.

“Ask Johann,” he kept saying.

The movers would ask Johann the question, get their answer, and ask Carlyn the next question, starting the cycle all over again. By the time they were home and seeing the movers off, Carlyn was exhausted.

He fell face-up on the sofa and closed his eyes, happy to be home. Before they’d moved Johann’s things, he’d already set up automatic payment to Johann’s account to pay for his apartment, bills, and storage lot while he was staying with him. Loren was adding Johann’s things to the kitchen, and Josh, Davis and Johann were putting away Johann’s belongings in the spare bedroom. Carlyn was just about to drift off into a nap, done for the day, when someone sat down on the sofa by his hip. He opened his eyes to find Johann sitting stiff-backed on the sofa, staring straight ahead.

“Johann?” Carlyn muttered.

“Davis told me…" Johann hesitated for a moment before going on. "He thought I should come sit with you. Josh wants to get my room ready for me as a gift and wanted me out of the way anyhow, so… You’re not fucking me! Ever!”

“We agreed to that,” Carlyn reminded Johann.

“But that means… I have to sleep in the bed with you. So I smell like you.”

The thought had actually occurred to Carlyn, but Johann was right, just living in the same house, especially one as big as his, wouldn’t be enough. They would have to sleep in the same bed some more.

“How often do I have to sleep in your bed?” Johann snapped.

“Um… a few nights a week. Maybe every other night.”

“Fine. We’ll start tonight.”

“I’m pretty beat. I was going to go to bed soon.”

“Fine.”

They said goodnight to Loren, who gave them each a kiss -Carlyn on the mouth, Johann on the forehead- then walked up the stairs together. Carlyn took a detour to Johann’s room to get his pajamas, which were shoved at him through a crack in the door, then went to his own room.

In Carlyn's bedroom, they changed together, because while they didn’t like each other, they weren’t going to act like feuding children. Carlyn considered stealing a glance at Johann, but decided against it. He didn't want to start a fight right before their first night together. Instead, he not only turned his back, but closed his eyes as well.

The smell of Johann's skin was a musky, leathery smell, like the punching bag they'd moved into the fitness room. Johann smelled faintly of sweat, as if he'd just been working out. Carlyn now noticed he always smelled like that. It differed from the members of his harem.

Loren smelled of heat and whatever she had last cooked. Josh's favorite products, cologne, shampoo, lotion, etc., hung off him in a soothing, sweet cloud like cotton candy. Davis smelled like a science lab: unsettling, sterile, of antibacterial soap and rubber gloves. Carlyn had been told by other alphas that the smell was a turn off, but for Carlyn it was Davis's smell and he loved it. It made doctor's office visits a little more stressful for him as he struggled to keep his mind off things more intimate than check-ups.

But all his harem seemed so tame compared to Johann. They smelled urbane and domesticated. Johann's scent was wild, angry, like a lightning storm to Carlyn's senses. It made the voice in Carlyn's head roar and claw.

Johann got into the bed first, climbing into the same side he’d been kept on before and making himself comfortable with aggressive movements. When he was deep under the blankets, Carlyn turned off the lights, gave his teddy bear a pat, and slipped into his side of the bed. The urge to turn his back on Johann and simply go to sleep was surprisingly strong. Not that Carlyn was uncomfortable with Johann in his bed. It was the exact opposite. It felt right. He wanted to yawn, say goodnight, and fall into a dreamless, undisturbed sleep. But this was technically business.

Edging closer, Carlyn placed an arm over Johann’s waist, who surprisingly put his arm over his.

“Don’t get any ideas, alpha. It’s just more comfortable this way.”

“We already agreed we wouldn’t have sex. There’s nothing you do, no way you could touch me, that would make me break that promise.”

“Hmph.” Johann began to dig his nails into the back of Carlyn’s hand but stopped after a moment and relaxed. “Goodnight.” Johann said with an air of finality.

“Goodnight.” Carlyn muttered. The voice in his head purred in contentment.

#

The next day Johann’s room still wasn’t finished, so Carlyn gave him room to dress before they went downstairs for breakfast. Loren gave the grand tour of the kitchen and pointed out where she’d put all of Johann’s things, while Johann served himself. Carlyn waited for Johann to sit down at the table to get his own breakfast.

“You can’t avoid him forever,” Loren said as she poured him a coffee. “Johann smelling like you won’t be enough for long.”

“I just want to give him some space. He’s so jumpy.”

“He’ll come around.” She handed him the coffee, then shooed him away to sit in the dining room.

Carlyn sat in his normal seat at the glass table, a place Johann must have guested at, because he was at the exact opposite side of the table. Sighing, Carlyn watched him for a moment, considering his options. After a moment, he started eating and began the conversation casually.

“You know,” he said between bites of eggs, “you can’t just smell like me and otherwise avoid me.”

“Excuse me?” Johann muttered from behind his glass of orange juice.

“I mean, if we seem to hate each other, people might get suspicious about things. Especially when I donate things to The Lucretian Legion.”

Johann was silent for several moments, eating while watching Carlyn impassively. Carlyn looked backed just as coolly, refusing to let Johann jerk him around. At last, Johann shrugged and turned his attention back to his plate.

“I’ll take care of it,” he said.

“How?” Carlyn asked.

“Never mind it. Can I go into your base with you today? We need another truck for an upcoming demonstration and I want to drop it off.”

“Fine.” Carlyn said. “Better get the base used to seeing you around, in any case.”

They finished breakfast in silence and Carlyn took their plates and glasses into the kitchen to be put into the dishwasher. He kissed Loren goodbye for the day and told her to tell Josh and Davis he loved them, then headed for the garage. Johann sat in the passenger’s seat and frowned out of the window as they pulled out of the garage.

“Last time you were in this car you were unconscious,” Carlyn said lightly.

“Fuck you,” Johann said almost light-heartedly. There was a hint of a smile or sneer is his voice, though Carlyn wasn't sure which it was.

“I’m just making conversation.”

“How about you talk about something useful? Who should I know in The Fangs? There’s that beta I saw. Never seen a beta a bunch of alphas backed away from so quickly.”

“You must mean Adison,” Carlyn laughed. “She’s terrifying. I’m pretty sure she’s the only one who could raise a coup against me, but she loves and respects me, so I’m safe. She’s whip smart, handles the first stage of organizing everything. With her at The Fangs and Loren at home, I have most of my day-to-day life plotted out for me. And she’s a fighter. She might be able to take you on, one-on-one.”

“Maybe," Johann groused. "Who else is there?”

“Along with Adison is my two other under-bosses Becka, and Raji.”

“Those assholes who helped drug me?”

“Yes, them. Becka was the whip wielding one.”

“I remember,” Johann hissed.

“She’s never hurt an omega, Johann. She asks permission before doing what she does. Verbal permission. It’s a game. She’s not bad.”

“Whatever. What’s the hardass into?”

“Raji? He’s mostly into classic music and good food. His omegas are a little spoiled. I don’t think they’ve lifted anything heavier than a wine bottle since bonding with him, but that’s how he likes them, spoiled rotten. He spends a small fortune on presents for them and their kids. He takes them on vacation once a season, right after their heat to reward them for… getting through heat, I guess.”

“Good lord, what the actual fuck?” Johann shook his head. “And I figured you thought of yourself as a fairytale princess, shining armor and all. This guy beats even you!”

“Look, I was raised very traditionally. As an alpha, I was told it was my job to provide for and protect my harem. But Raji goes overboard. He left once and was gone for a day and a half. He told me later that one of his omegas was feeling lonely because he’d been working so much, and he just felt bad about it. I almost hit him. I had just taken over and we were in the middle of turf war with the Red Wolves.”

“Can you trust this guy?”

“We have an understanding now.”

“You hit him.”

“I… yes," Carlyn admitted. "I lost my temper. I was sorry about it later. I didn’t tell him though because I could tell he respected me for standing my ground, the idiot.”

Johann let out a small chuckle. “Delightful.” He was definitely sneering.

#

Carlyn walked into the main house of the base with his arm around Johann’s shoulders. Johann had his arms crossed and shoulders hunched, but leaned into his embrace as if he wanted to crawl under Carlyn's shirt. The people who saw them move through the building paused at the sight of them, and a few growled their approval, smirked, or nudged Carlyn. Even though Johann said nothing and even pressed himself harder into Carlyn’s side, Carlyn knew he was seething.

“I’m sorry,” Carlyn said when they were alone in his office with the door shut.

“I didn’t expect to enjoy any of this,” Johann said. “I’m in deep cover behind enemy lines. I wasn’t expecting it to be comfortable.”

“I want it to be comfortable for you. I don’t want you to hate this. I’m supposed to be your ally. Me, if no one else.”

Johann stared at Carlyn for a moment before sighing, and a little hatred melted off his face for a moment. “You don’t know anything about the real world.”

“Maybe,” Carlyn relented. He walked around the desk and unlocked his computer with a press of his thumb. “You said you needed one more truck?”

“Yea.”

“For what?” Carlyn’s computer started up, and he sat down to begin the transfer of the truck into The Legion’s hands.

“Redistribution of necessary amenities.”

Carlyn scoffed. “What’s that in real talk? Come on, Johann. You know who you’re talking to.”

“A drug lord and gunrunner.”

“So be real with me. I won’t judge you.”

Johann sighed. “We’re going to hit a pharmaceutical lab and take a few seasons' worth of heat suppressants. Then we're going to give them out to low- and no-income omegas who want to keep alphas off their backs.”

“Sounds legit. Much money in that?”

One moment Carlyn was looking at the screen, then he was colliding with his computer screen at full speed. Instinct kicked in and Carlyn pushed away from the desk, hunched to avoid the rest of the blow and swung out hard with his arm. His arm connected with Johann’s stomach, but only lightly as Johann had jumped back to avoid it. Carlyn lunged for him, hands aiming for his neck, which Johann must have seen coming because he crossed his arms in front of his neck and kicked to throw Carlyn off his balance. As Carlyn started to fall towards the floor, he adjusted his aim and put all his weight on Johann’s waist, bringing them toward the floor, but not without hitting the table behind Johann and knocking everything off it in a loud crash.

Johann hissed, put both hands on Carlyn’s face, and pushed, his knees coming up to dig into Carlyn’s torso. Carlyn growled, climbed to his knees, and used his superior size to pin Johann down at the wrists and thigh, hands on his wrists above Johann’s head, and one knee on his thigh.

“Stay down!” Carlyn growled, but his wasn’t the only growl.

From the door there was a small chorus of sounds and when Carlyn looked, Becka was in the open doorway, flanked by Jackson and another, lower, alpha Molly. Jackson and Molly were smiling wickedly, nudging each other and Becka. Becka looked more concerned.

“We heard crashing,” Becka explained. “I thought you need help with… I guess you didn’t.”

Before Carlyn could say anything, Johann moved, but not to attack him. He leaned up as best he could and nudged him with his head, roughly but affectionately.

“Hey,” he whispered and, when Carlyn looked at him, gave him a questioning look.

Carlyn was on the verge of stupidly asking what Johann was doing, and weren’t they fighting anymore, but Becka spoke first.

“I’m going to just shut the door.” She did, and the room went quiet for a second before Johann said,

“Get the fuck off me.”

“What was that?” Carlyn asked.

“Acting,” Johann said dryly. “Now get the fuck off me.”

Carlyn withdrew off Johann but was no closer to figuring out what sort of situation he was in. “I don’t understand,” he said. “Acting? What about you hitting me? What was that?”

“You’re thick,” Johann muttered as he climbed to his feet. “I’ll walk you through it. You asked if there’s money in what we’re going to do.”

“A fair question,” Carlyn said.

“You weren’t listening to the explanation you asked for, were you? Typical. We’re giving the suppressants to low- and no-income omegas, which implies what?”

“That they can’t afford the suppressants and therefore any money made would be ill gotten, which is not what The Lucretian Legion is about.”

“You’re dumb as a bag of rocks, but you learn fast.”

“Thank you. You could have explained that instead of hitting me.”

“But hitting you was so cathartic,” Johann sighed. “And besides, the situation worked to our advantage.”

“How?”

Johann walked around Carlyn and righted the chair that had been up-ended during their fight. “Rumors,” he said. “I was going to plant some rumors that we had an especially rough sex life. It would explain why I’m so combative with you.”

Carlyn gave a full-throated laugh. “No, it wouldn’t! That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Of course it does. Alphas believe that every omega that’s combative just needs to be fucked by an alpha. And the more combative and unpleasant an omega is, the more the typical alpha believes they need, nay want, to be dominated by a strong alpha. Docile omegas are assumed to be fragile and need gentle care. Aggressive omegas are assumed to need taming. So the less I actually seem to like you, the more the alphas around you will assume you’re fucking me super hard because that’s what I must need and want.”

Staring, opening mouthed, Carlyn processed what Johann said. It didn’t sound right. And yet, Becka and the others had immediately seen them and assumed they were doing something intimate. Sure, Johann had nudged him, but could they really not see they hadn’t been being affectionate?

“Alphas… are tremendously stupid.”

Johann chuckled, a surprisingly genuinely sound. “You don’t know anything about the real world, do you?”

“Hmm,” Carlyn muttered and sat down at his desk. “I’m sorry I asked about making money off your project. Force of habit. Let’s get your truck.”

“We’ll drive it to the drop off this evening,” Johann said, turning his back to Carlyn. “I acquaint myself with your base until then. You do your work. I’ll amuse myself.”

#

To Carlyn's surprise, Johann spent the whole day at The Fang's base without getting into any fights. He went around making mumbled apologies to people, asking them to excuse The Lucretian Legion for the damage done during their strike on the base.

"We weren't allies then," was what he said, according to Raji, who told Carlyn about it later. "It was just business. You understand."

The Fangs took it all in stride. To them, Johann was officially Carlyn's bonded mate, and it was "apologies accepted" and water under the bridge.

"He's a tough little meg," Jackson said almost affectionately, leaning in Carlyn's office doorway. "It was an honor to have my ass kicked by him. He must be good in bed."

"Amazing," Carlyn said with a smile, even though his skin was crawling. "Where is he now?"

"Having lunch in the yard with some of the girls. They're looking after him for you. Some betas want him to train with them because he's built like a fucking tank." Jackson chuckled. "I mean, he certainly fills out that t-shirt and jeans." He growled in the back of his throat.

"Keep your hands to yourself," Carlyn warned with a tight smile. "Or Johann will rip your dick off and I'll watch with him as you bleed out."

"Right, right. He's yours. Lucky."

Jackson walked away and Carlyn paused and think about how that nagging feeling of annoyance he'd always had with his own sex was blooming into an outright dislike for them.

But while Carlyn spent the day swallowing bullshit compliments about his new relationship, Johann spent the day endearing himself to The Fangs as an irritable, combative, but mostly importantly secretly tamed omega. By the time they left the base, Johann in the truck, and Carlyn following in his own truck, the whole base seemed to be smitten with Johann.

They drove for some time, Johann leading and Carlyn following. They left the city and drove into the country, up into the mountains where the houses became more and more sparse, until they seemed to disappear altogether. Finally, Johann pulled off the road onto a trail and cut the engine. Carlyn pulled up behind the truck and waited. In a moment, Johann appeared next to the passenger side of the truck, opened the door, and got in.

"We can leave," Johann said.

"Should we leave the truck here?"

"It's fine. It won't be here long."

"Should we wait?"

Johann chuckled sarcastically. "You'd love that. No. You see no one but me. Drive."

Seeing he wasn't going to get anywhere, and not wanting to get into another fight with Johann, Carlyn did as he was told. He backed up into the road, turned the car around and did the best he could to navigate his way back down the dark mountain roads. To break up the silence in the car, Carlyn spoke.

"So, we're getting along, aren't we?"

"I guess," Johann muttered.

"I mean, we are, aren't we?"

"I don't want to kill you, so there's that." Johann smiled tightly from what Carlyn could see from the driver's seat.

"That's… good. I mean, we have very different lives and see the world differently. I want to know that I can trust you to keep explaining things to me and not fly off the handle again and lash out at me."

"You're talking about earlier today." Johann said and slumped in the seat. "I said I was sorry."

"No, you didn't. You said it was cathartic."

"Well, I meant to say I was sorry." Johann paused, and in the interim Carlyn wasn't sure what to say. Luckily Johann spoke again after some silence. "Look, I am sorry, Carlyn. I lost my temper. There was something about you wanting to make money off the work we're doing, off of the most vulnerable and helpless omega that was so typical of an alpha that made me lose my sense of… you know…"

"Not hitting someone over the head?"

"Yea."

"I didn't mean to be cruel," Carlyn explained.

"You can't help it," Johann groused.

"And that's what I want to talk about. My nature, my upbringing, everything about me is an offense to you. Things I see as normal could be something you see as horrible. I need you to talk to me from now on. Maybe the world is as you say it is, but maybe it doesn't have to be. I've always been told I act more like an omega than an alpha, maybe I could start really living up to that and do some good, but I'm going to need a teacher. You have to be patient with me."

"I suppose. Frankly, you're less of pain than the rest of your sex. I doubted, when I came to live with you, that you'd ever say anything that'd make me break cover. I was almost disappointed when I said what you did."

"And that's why I need you to promise. I do not know what other things I could casually say that could offend you. For instance, I could have a conversation with someone about pairing centers."

Carlyn turned his head towards Johann for just a moment, just in time to see his reaction. It was just as he expected. Johann's entire body tensed as if an electric current had passed through it. His jaw locked up as he frowned.

Pairing centers had been outlawed decades ago to keep the peace. They were still around, of course. No church, or school, or job could legally force an omega into one, but family certainly could. No business could operate as a pairing center, but illegal businesses certainly did.

There was a stigma around them. No one admitted to forcing their child into a pairing center. The public opinion was worse than the jail time. Businesses accused of operating as a pairing center often used the defense that they were brothels and only coincidently did the alpha john end up bonding with the omega sex workers, and the payments made to the brothels were to pay off any debts the workers had. The chargers for running the brothel weren't as bad.

But that was an alpha's perspective.

To omegas, pairing centers were state sanctioned slavery. It used to be that omegas couldn't continue in school, get a job, register to vote, lease an apartment, open a bank account if they weren't signed up at a pairing center. The pairing center took all their information, height, weight, every measurement, their job, their hobbies, even their friends occasionally. And when that was done, alphas would pay to be paired with them by the center, and the center's word was law. An omega who refused a suitor approved by a pairing center could be kicked out of the system and have every right stripped from. Sometimes a rich alpha of an omega child would pay to have control over who their child bonded with, but that wasn't a guarantee no matter who the alpha was.

The male omega who'd mothered Loren had been bonded by a pairing center. Her father had been pregnant more often than not because that's how his alpha mate liked him. Loren, his oldest, had been the only child he'd been allowed to keep. Loren's father had been bonded to a male alpha who couldn't pass on his family name anyway and had no intention of letting his harem keep a bunch of kids he couldn't even give his name to.

Thinking about it now, Carlyn wondered why he hadn't asked Loren more about how she'd grown up. Maybe he really didn't know anything about the world. Loren had known about The Lucretian Legion, and she'd told him about the pairing centers that had closed just before Carlyn was born. Maybe he should have been asking her more questions. He'd thought leaving her past alone had been the respectful thing to do, but maybe it had been the ignorant thing to do.

Carlyn glanced over at Johann again. It had been several minutes since he'd spoken.

"Johann?"

The silence stretched on for another few seconds before Johann spoke.

"You would never, ever, in a million years support pairing centers," he said calmly. "You're just trying to rile me up."

"No, I'm not. I'm serious. I mean… I could support… the ease of it. Just go in, fill out a questionnaire, and get matched up with the omega who fit the profile. Easy."

"Oh my… One, you said you 'could' support this, which implies you don't. You couldn't even get the sentence out properly. Two, all the pauses while you try to think up something you supposedly supported. Plus, the weak-sauce argument. And, you're a princess in a shining armor, you could never bond with some you don't know. You don't even have a proper harem in your house. Each of your mates has their own room! If you have kids, you're going to need a bigger house! No. You would never stomach finding partners through chattel slavery system. It's not you."

"And if The Lucretian Legion said it was? If they told you I was a threat and ordered you to get rid of me? You said, you explained that alphas who are too big of a threat to let live, you get rid of. What if I become a threat?"

"You're not a threat, Carlyn. You're annoying."

"And if your bosses say otherwise?"

"Anything you do, I'll know about way before they do. They could never tell me anything about you I don't already know. You're not a threat. Not to us."

Carlyn sighed. He figured he should drop it. This wasn't getting him anywhere. Then he thought of one more thing.

"What if The Fangs get into politics? You know, greasing judges and prosecutors and politicians."

"What does that have to do with us?"

"Laws affect omegas. What if the people The Fangs support are your enemies?"

Johann didn't respond right away. They reached an intersection, which allowed Carlyn to look at him. Johann really filled out his t-shirt and jeans. He was gorgeous. Carlyn wished the omega didn't hate him so much.

"I don't think you would do that," Johann said at last. "At least not on purpose. You're too soft. And if you found out after-wards, well, you're not a man of legal ways, Carlyn. I expect you could do something about the judge or politician with those sorts of ideas.

"Are you asking me to possibly assassinate a politician The Lucretian Legion disapproves of?"

"I'm asking you to do to this hypothetical alpha what you do to any alpha who displeases you that much. Does omega abuse bother you, or doesn't it?"

The light changed and Carlyn began to drive.

[mysnarkyslytherinsecret]

Severus walking in on his love interest sleeping naked, her bare back peeking out from under the covers because it's too damn hot to function. "Urgh, I'm so hot." her voice is exhusted and she doesn't move in order to not make herself feel any warmer. "Yes I know you are, but the meeting literally starts in five minutes." -- I'm too aware he'd probably never do this unless he's very comfotable with the person, but I can still fantasize right?!

“Too…warm…” Hermione mumbled, half-asleep.

“Oh no you don’t,” Severus said, “You were the one who wanted to co-run the early-morning meeting on cursed wounds and charmed potions. If it were up to me, we wouldn’t have done such a ridiculous thing.”

“Yeah,” Hermione mumbled, her head still halfway under a pillow, “if it were up to you, you wouldn’t even be here.”

Severus glared at her, his indignation neatly obscuring the fact that her long, tangled hair was obscuring her bare back.  She kicked a leg out of the bottom of the duvet.

“Just go on without me, I’ll be right there,” she grumbled, turning on her side and grumbling about the heat.  Unfortunately for her, accommodations in the Wizarding World didn’t exactly tend to come with air conditioning.

“I know exactly what will happen if I leave you in here, Hermione,” Severus growled, “and it will be you sleeping and me sitting in front of a podium looking embarrassed.”

“You? Embarrassed? Never happens,” Hermione said dismissively.

“For your information, just because you’ve never seen it, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen!” Severus replied with a sniff. “Come on, then, up you get!”

He grabbed the duvet and pulled it up a bit like a child with a parachute in gym class, only to hear Hermione suddenly shriek “OH FUCK-DON’T-!”

But it was too late.  There, underneath the duvet, was a slightly sweaty, very naked adult witch looking up at him with horrified embarrassment.

“Oh,” Severus said, freezing up.  He always did under horrible situations- most of the danger he’d been in his entire life generally hinged on whether he could remain stationary and blank-faced for long enough for whatever monster to leave him alone or go evil-monologuing all over the place, which was the same thing, really.  The duvet hung limply in his hands and Hermione, in her haste to cover her nudity, grabbed at it far too harshly.  Suddenly, Severus was tipping forward, his face still blank, though all the blankness in the world wouldn’t be able to stop the burning flush from filling his face. There were some awkward flailing as they both finally realized what was happening, and this only served to make things worse- when they finally stilled in their struggle, they were practically tied together.  Severus was panting, one arm splayed over Hermione’s chest, He pulled away with a curse and an apology, but didn’t get far- the duvet was wrapped around both of their arms.

“Well, this is awkward,” Hermione said, looking away as his eyes began to roam a bit too far south of their own accord.

“Understatement of the year, Hermione!” Severus replied angrily, more furious at himself for looking at…her…NO MUST NOT-

He turned his head and the movement upset his balance, sending his cheek crashing into something very soft and warm….

“Do you mind not nuzzling my breasts?” Hermione said stiffly. “I’m finding it hard to avoid impure thoughts.”

Severus was about to bite back a scathing reply when he froze. “Did you just say-”

“I’m naked, in bed with the man who I’ve been working tirelessly to cure all poisons with after saving his life.  Sure, you’re aloof and acerbic, and I would never, in a million years have expected to wake up in this situation-”

Severus opened his mouth to argue, but she shushed him.

“Let me finish, Severus! In fact, I had to pinch myself just to prove that you would come into my room of your own accord without it being some weird lucid dream!”

“So…what you’re saying…” Severus was aware of his breath hitching and growing hurried. He was practically panting over her as he looked into her eyes, searching for any signs of duplicity.

“I…I’m only disappointed that I’m the only naked one in this situation,” Hermione finished. “See? I told you; impure as they come.”

“If those are impure thoughts,” Severus replied, his voice throaty and whispery with the long-held desire he’d choked down for all those months in his official capacity as fellow research professional, “then mine are downright wicked.”

“Oh, really?” Hermione whispered, her pupils wide and open as she unconsciously licked her lips.

“I could show you if you really…really…wanted to.” His lips were whispering against her cheek and she shuddered, her voice catching with a single word.

“Severus.”

He was undone by the way she said his name and pressed kisses against her until he was sure that he would be struck dead by the cruel fates that had set out to make his life pure misery.  He couldn’t believe that he was deserving of such pleasure, such happiness-  And yet, she wanted him- she had opened her heart- he could feel it in the way her magic thrummed against his skin everywhere they touched. 

In the end, he magicked his clothing and the duvet off of the both of them and the thought of the heat and early-morning symposiums were the farthest things from their minds.  Everything fell to the floor, neatly folded. It was a fine bit of wandless magic, and even Hermione seemed impressed with it.  But, more than that, she seemed…impressed with him.

“You brilliant, brilliant man,” she whispered, as they lay sweaty and spent together, afterwards.

“Oh? And what was so brilliant? The brilliant way that I tripped and tied us in knots or the brilliant way that I made us both miss a meeting that we were supposed to lead together?” Severus replied sardonically.

“Well, if you put it that way, it sounds rather terrible,” Hermione admitted, “but if the outcome is this-” she entwined her fingers in his and rolled on top of him, bending down to kiss his nose “-then the entire world can sod off for all I care!”

Severus blushed, his lips pulling up involuntarily into a poorly practiced smile that he quickly tried to hide behind his hand.

“Oh no you don’t,” Hermione said, pulling his hand away, “I want to see it.”

“My teeth are crooked and yellow,” Severus complained. “It looks creepy.”

“I’ll be the judge of that, you lovely man,” Hermione said, kissing him right on the teeth.

“You daft woman,” Severus spluttered, “who even does that?”

“Me. I do that.” Hermione said with a devilish grin, kissing his teeth again as he smiled even wider. “I’ll keep doing it too, because I like when you smile.”

“I like your smile better,” Severus said, kissing her lips. 

“Well, obviously,” Hermione said with a cheeky smirk, “my parents are dentists.  Anything less than perfection would have meant exile from the Granger household.”

“I love your smile. And your scent. And your goddamn bossiness. And all of you, actually. I-” Severus looked away, embarrassed at having rambled for so long.

“I love you, Severus,” Hermione said, poking his nose gently. “and I’ll be late to a thousand symposiums if it means I get to say it to you every day.”

“A thousand is a bit much,” Severus remarked, which gave them both the case of the giggles. “I should think you’d stop being invited by the hundredth one.”

“Git!” Hermione squeaked with laughter. “I know, I shall kiss the gittiness out of you!”

“Oh no, whatever shall I do?” Severus replied, deadpan, “I shall have to lie here and allow the very sexy minx in my bed to ravage me! The things I do for Queen and country!”

Five seconds later, Hermione learned that Severus was horribly ticklish, and decided to use that to her advantage.

Five seconds after that, Severus had rolled her underneath him and pinned her down with kisses.

Ten seconds after that, they both found that their bodies had more than kissing in mind and lost themselves to desire.

In the end, they never did end up leaving the room, but neither much cared.

They already had everything they needed, after all.