#he's over 70 years old and he aint putting up with that

[fisheito]

Morvaluation ch.6:

[blueiight]

amc iwtv ep 3 w/ K&Y (post parade 2 in 1!)

- lestat reading the 1910s equiv of wikipedia (times picayune) history of jackson square fanned tf out v. louis saying do it mention how theyd take runaway slaves head off n hang them on pikes? the true history of slavery preserved outside the ivory tower thru lineage (cuz 1910s historians wasnt talmbout it!) + foreshadowing what louis gone do to alderman fenwick :3

- were we put on the earth for a larger purpose? v. lestat saying well, im the one who put you on this earth. okay daddy???!….

- got it off ur shelf — lestat argues w ppl w/o watching the game & only watches the boxscores

- THE ANGEL OF SALVATION PASSING OVER US. LETROLL. shes so floored at lestat’s power & is joked out at their every snarky rude comment ….

- LOUIS U KILLED MY MEOW MEOW… LOUIS WHY DO U KILL CUTE FLUFFY ANIMALS…

- WE WORLDWIDEEEE (being discussed in atlanta🪦🪦)

- morality to buoy ur existence.. antoinette being introduced as lestat becomes dilussioned w louis veganist ways.. a woman louis hired to sing, the snake singing an aria of fun, the artiste to lestat’s artist ways as louis plays a bird refusing to fly.. and/or louis aint puttin out no more? whats really tea Og… mad ya wife aint puttin out mmtch. louis de pointe du lac the dark prince of iberville. bodied my idol💔

- 2022!Louis going awwwww lestat invented music🥰 but seething inside cuz its when he met his side bitch.. his killing is secret away from me now (but hes also getting play elsewhere… wow). juxtaposed w lestat destroying the self esteem of & torturing the italian tenor this is hilarious…. think i said sum semi-profound on it a month or 2 ago but icb😂✌🏾

- bitter ex 1973 louis is taking me. i love how his accent is slightly different: very generic california vocal fry in the 70s vs. the selective inflection of his natural accent when he in his feelings , self hypnotizing as JA says it, in the 2020s. my unpopular opinion is that there is no contradiction yes theres obviously 2 diff stories being told but its NOT A contradiction here me aht – memory is a sacred meat drying all the time. it always changes as the person grows. how i remembered sum at 11 not the same i remember it at REDACTED years old today, much less how ill remember my relationships w current / recent lovers when im even older. resenting how much u love the one who taught u how to love. feeling like a victim w no recourse is a heavy , very unsupported socially rejected burden to carry in our lifespans….u can imagine this constant flux of perspective , the love of ur maker who destroyed & created u to live a near eternity with. vampires r created out of trauma (not quoted in this ep but quoted later) so its also a meta commentary for how trauma alters memories. this is the odyssey of recollection. was it raining? lestat’s boots were muddy bc of the lack of paved streets u say. or was he watching u get head n seething at ur hearts in sync w/ a human of lover’s past, as his and antoientte’s hearts were comically offbeat from eachother? was meeting jonah some unknown decades later, being called a walking devil by him, drive further resentment coloring his past with lestat when daniel first interviewed him? what is recollection for an immortal being, if not throwing a mere ripple in time’s ocean and watching the wave effects?

- 1917 was a year rigged to burn. oh boy was it

- I do everything for Louis girlll im damn near boutta fuck u on this couch to get his attention . this is like elite levels of toxicity here. why not a chord? why not a cluster? lestat was tryna fuck boffem 😭😭😭See this why louis is a bougie creole bitty tryna keep the illusion of undeclared marriage w his progenitor over his pride. cuz if he was where im from he woulda at the very least set up the demise of ms. antoinette!

- “CHEATER! BUT I BET IF HE STARTED CHEATING U A HAD PROBLEMS” how is she predicting the episode already

- While the domestic front simmered on diet and sanctioned infidelity… Never change at all 2022!louis ur smartass mouth is everything.

- Louis winning the card game .. he can read minds na…

- AINT U GOOD AT NOTICING WHATS PLAIN BODIED MY IDOL JONAH.. louis askin WHERE U BEEN JONAH 😉❓. another perfect accent moment. & i love jonah’s accent too like its cute. it does whats needed here

- Girl hes laying it on thick like hello louis de pointe du lac n da art of macking. Aint age a day since i seen u last being a black vampire gotta be easy just say its MELATONIN…. also Jonah asking about the current bf likeee hello. how ur new dic treatin u. I think We made a fujo out sis here

- “No dont justify it baby girl u getting ur lick back” I LOVE HER OPINION HELLOOOOO.

- THERE HE IS…. THERE. HE. IS. the devil walks at night.. mrs. florence homophobia vindicated by the 1 in a kajillion chance her son was also turned into a vampire.

- “After Louis had the worst night on earth, here come this bozo [Lestat]” shes rly a louis martyr omd😭😭😭😭

- She seen lestat control all the soldiers & say “wow maybe i do wanna be a vampire”. Also she noticed his ears bleeding out after making all them leave👀 lemme find out lestat was tryna munch on some wwi soldiers & took a likkle breaky break b4hand

- “Hmpf..this tedious Negro clinging onto his Creole heritage like a liferaft” “Maybe Tom is right: Louis just a dumb pimp who got robbed blind years ago.” “That’s a ‘sir’ for you!” “THUGGISH BEHAVIOR” “Accept your place in the world…Sodomite townhouse… I am the sun” & this is why alderman fenwick needed to die be blessed!! 🥰 . Finn o’shea tricked ur ass louis his ppl turned white off ur back ..

- This is Louis’s hobby, not mine LESTAT way to sound like a condescending husband here lol

- When your mother see the devil in your eyes… that’s a hard assessment to hedge against …

- Lestat dont get its not sm bout the money but its bout the power. what it means to be a black man in power on the margins.

- Bricktop saying the colored only sign was a stupid fuckin business plan LMAOOO she knows.

- I was what- I was manic… 2022!Louis perfect mix of self awareness v. self delusion . the loss of his creole status here coupled w everything else. born inhuman off the pyres of ur former racialization

- “DA JEWISH MAN GET IT” @ Daniel saying take a Black man in america make him a vampire N FUCK W IT 😭😭😭obsessed w her assigning him jewish at first watch

- “PUT DAT WHITE BOY INA TORTURE RACK!” shes got it man.

- Top 5 louis cut throat committy moments here why is ur heart beating so fast :3 psychologically& physically gores consumes u & hangs ur corpse up top the cathedral. This moment being louis embracing hes a vampire to smite the face of white supremacy.. wow. louis turning into the princess of pan africanism talmbout mah pipo like ok man👍🏾then tellin lestot thats why you always gone be alone like oh my word

- “THEY BEEN GENTRIFYING OUR CITY FOREVER!” TELL EM !!!

- the garish display of his body … was that also ‘for your people’? UHH YES LESTAT DATS WHAT WHITE FOLK USED TO DO (STILL DO TO) NIGGAS LIKE IN REAL LIFE HISTORY BIG BRO…

- “THIS SICKO!” at lestat wanting to make this day his anniversary LOLL

- I could not save the Azalea. I could not save Storyville. I could not save the aunt on the wrong side of the wall, but I could save her…My light. My Claudia. My redemption. (contrast this view of claudia to lestat seeing her as his dark child.. generational cycles being broken (or formed anew) and new cycles of horror being started in the domestic)

- she said A+ this a good episode

[audio-luddite]

Had a Bro-day. Well it was my son-in-law.

Nice guy and once studied audio recording engineering. Ended up in the aviation biz. All that aside he likes my system. Probably as with three kids, all small, having "nice" things has a risk element as well as lack of space in the house. So when he does come by I feed him steak and fire up the system.

It was warmed up and started by spinning up double 180/45 Fleetwood Mac reissue of Fleetwood Mac. (as in not Rumours).

You know that sounds really good. They had so many tracks mixed in and played a lot of studio tricks. But clear sound and man the detail. Oh and I am always impressed with the Bass my invisible speakers put out. 8" woofers, but ported with a quite low tuning. Resonance can really help. As well as the placement.

He is always commenting on the high hats in the drum kit. Crisp and clean. One thing I really notice is the distortion on the guitar amps. Guitarists love distortion, and it is really tricky to reproduce cleanly. Distorting distortion rather ironic. Very few albums have real room sound or natural ambiance. So you take what you can get.

I think one aspect of the old analog recordings from the 50s & 60s is that they had much simpler microphone layouts. Mercury Living Presence with Bob Fine and Wilma Cozart Fine used 3 mikes and three tracks on a custom tape machine. If you can find original LPs they are great. Even the CDs they made from the masters were acceptable. They actually captured some real honest sound. If it aint around you take what you can get.

Famously Cowboy Junkies Trinity Session used ONE microphone. Yes it had 4 mike cartridges in it but all in one wind shield.

We mused about getting together for a proper dude listening session (loud) and he could bring some of his albums that he cannot listen too as he has no home system. I will even let him play "guns and roses". I pointed him towards than nice ARC SP9 mk2 that is still for sale nearby. Worth snagging for the future.

He and my daughter are looking for a bigger house. They have one but it keeps getting smaller. Funny how kids and their stuff take up so much space.

In other news the local old equipment emporium has an interesting set of turntables for sale. One is a Revox B791. In the late 70s REVOX made a series of turntables. All were tangential tracking because the German Engineers thought it was best. They were right, it is best. Revox is now marketing a new turntable that is sadly quite conventional. I had a Revox Reel to Reel many years ago. They made nice stuff.

The B791 is selling for $999. It looks in great condition. It has quirks. The tone arm is very short as in 32mm. You do not want warped records with that. Apparently there are subtle issues of fitting phono cartridges correctly. Originally it came with a Shure cartridge. Others may need accessories to fit properly. This one has a manual. It would be cool if it had the whole set of counter weights and fittings. It has happened. I kept the box and bits to my Sony for over 40 years.

[astralglam]

𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 .

1. What does your muse smell like?

without soap or perfume, 683 smells bizarrely sterile, chemical-ish, like a dentist’s office, bleach or cleaning supplies.  like hand sanitizer that kills 99.9% of germs.  they have that faint smell of powdery clean cosmetics, only because they wear so much foundation, face powder and setting spray.  humans like things that smell less artificial, so 683 takes to using cheap perfume (think a teenager who just learned to douse themselves with axe or bath and bodyworks spray), which is artificial in a slightly more palatable way.  their clothes (which are almost all second hand) have that mothball-musty smell of a thrifted dress that hasn’t been washed yet, like an old book.    

2. What do your muse’s hands feel like?

cold, frigid and icy, almost like a mannequin’s if you left the mannequin in the freezer. their skin is tight over their tendons and fingers, with almost waxy, plasticy skin stretched over their joints and knuckles, which makes them seem very fragile.  sometimes their palms are uncannily clammy.  their skin on their palms isn’t rough or calloused but they’re starting to get scars on their fingertips from their voyages into the realm of string instruments.  they used to have very neat, clean and unpainted nails, but nowadays, they have divots and cracks because 683 is clumsy with the strings.  

3. What does your muse usually eat in a day?

683 is often at the mercy of when their friends will decide to cook for them/buy them food.  they don’t have any cooking skills and can barely wash and cut an apple (this isn’t because they’re stupid, on atomina they were used to communal dining with a designated set of people who cooked for everyone in their unit).  683 is naturally accustomed to eating plant matter and (unlike us humans) has a way better digestive system for breaking down cellulose and gets a lot more out of their vegetarian diet than you might expect (two stomachs aint for nothin).  left to their own devices they just eat Whatever (orange? handfuls of spinach, unwashed, pesticides dont hurt them.  microwave a tomato and watch it explode.  brave cutting open an avocado and just eating it with a spoon).  dinner is when priscilla either buys him take out or sid cooks something for him (and sid is an amazing cook!!!).  sid isn’t vegetarian, but his family is, so he knows how to make all kinds of dishes perfect for 683 -- substitute the dairy for nondiary alternatives and 683′s getting matter paneer (with tofu instead), malai kofta (with coconut milk), and aloo gobi (no butter), all sorts of things !!! 

4. Does your muse have a good singing voice?

sort of.  683′s voice, by itself, is nasally and weird and a little grating, but their devotion to music lets them make the most out of their “strange” voice and almost use it to their benefit to sound unique, different, super far out !11!11111  their lyrics, instrumentals and emotion combined is what makes them a talented musician rather than just a good quality voice.  so while they might not have a very pretty voice, they’re still a skilled singer due to their delivery.  

5. Does your muse have any bad habits or nervous ticks?

im assuming this is about bad (physical) habits rather than personality deficiencies (of which 683 has many).  683 stares, like, really just stares at people with reckless abandon, they havent figured out it’s rude.  they arent good at even pretending to listen so if they’re disinterested in what you have to say, they’ll look elsewhere, pick at their nails, mumble or interrupt you.  always finds a way to make the conversation about themself.  very disorganized and messy, has a hard time taking care of objects even if they value them (ex. dropping his guitar, misplacing jewelry, yanking a belt off and breaking it).  definitely self pities and has no problem trying to guilt you for everything and anything.  is a pretty frequent smoker, but is polite enough not to smoke if you ask him not to.  

683 is always a little nervous so their nervous ticks are just their baseline state of being (wringing hands, stammering, talking really fast, making insane gestures all around you but being too afraid to touch you, etc)

6. What does your muse usually look like / wear?

683 looks very put together at all times -- not necessarily polished or professional, but very intentional, in that you can tell they definitely made a conscious choice to dress the way they do.  he wore the same dumb uniform every day for the first 20 years of his life, so he’s very excited to try new clothing options.  

more femme-ish clothing preferences go to boxy, sleeveless a-line dresses, miniskirts, bright floral patterns, big plastic earrings, headbands, scarves, etc.  they like clunky platforms and prefer to wear boots.  very 60s mod and colorblocked.  she loves bright eyeshadow but tends to go for more neutral lipstick.  can never figure out what to do with her hair so she usually leaves it down or does a half-up half-down bun kinda deal.  

more masc clothing preferences are bell bottoms, button ups with butterfly collars, paisley print, turtlenecks and fringe jackets, etc. earthy tones and weird nasty olive green.  very late 60s / early 70s. prog rock flavor or glam rock flavor.  never got into the disco style only because he cant pull it off because he’s so scrawny and twitchy and has no chest hair to impress the ladies.    

one thing about 683 is that he hates tight long sleeves and goes insane if he has to wear them.  his uniform was sleeveless, so even short sleeves feel really weird and horrible on his arms.  prefers sleeveless, can do with short sleeves, 3/4ths sleeve or loose long sleeve, really tries to avoid tight/constricting long sleeves.  

i have a pinterest board of potential fits for him although i havent updated it because i barely know how to use pinterest.

7. Is your muse affectionate?  How much?  How so?

to most people, not really, he’s kind of a weird cagey asshole.  oscillates between fascinated with physical touch (suddenly wanting to hug his friends or snuggle with them or grabbing strangers when he’s trying to talk to them) to despising contact (cringes if you touch his hand when you pass him a cup).  he didnt grown up with a culture very big on it, so he isn’t sure if he likes it or not yet.  

to people he does care about, he tends to take his friends for granted but overperform affection for those he has romantic interest in.  not that he doesnt also dearly love and adore his friends, he’s just not the best at expressing his care for them other than random bursts of kindness and dissolving back into his weird normal self.  his understanding of romance has come from a very commercial, media-influenced place (he learns about it through television, novels and commercials, it’s not really inherent to his species) so he thinks romance is about buying flowers, holding hands, staring into each other’s eyes for three hours, etc. if he has romantic interest in you, he will constantly over and over again tell you how much he likes you and your company and you are soooo funny hahahhahhfhh, and will be unusually touchy (clings to your arm, sits RIGHT next to you, drops his head on your shoulder, etc).  

8. What position does your muse sleep in?

683 didnt know what blankets were until he came to earth (or deep space nine) !!! his old room was perfectly temperature controlled and he already has a lower natural body temperature, so there was no need for blankets at all.  human beds with big pillows and blankets are THE COOLEST, so he either curls up underneath a blanket with only the top of his head poking out or he sprawls out like a starfish to take advantage of as many pillows as possible.  his special move is to roll up in the blanket like some kind of little alien lumpia.  

he’s a fitful sleeper so if you sleep in the same bed as him, he’ll punch you or kick you on accident.  he does appreciate company, though, and will also plaster himself up against you and leech your body heat with his weird cold body.

9. Could you hear your muse in the hallway from another room?

depends.  they have a very average speaking voice and aren’t necessarily very loud (plus platforms dull footsteps), but if they were excited, they might raise their voice or yell or exclaim something.  and then they’re very shrill, so yes, you would hear her.  

Tagged by:  @sampati im sorry i took like a week it was really fun i love to type letters and words on the computer Tagging: @dynaura or @pataparty (for whoever you want) / @phantombs / @ofgentleresolve (for lamon? or anyone you want, really!!) / @bystcrdust / @kyrieleisen / @baelends / @bup1957

[randomoranges]

good god almighty. here is part 4. somehow longer than the other parts. somehow with more Emotions. i decided to not be vague and call the spades spades. this one is more nsfw because of things étienne mentions. 

again, minor character death and lots of introspection ha ha .

ive been working on the beast for like almost a month now. part 5 aint even done. im so glad i hacked it up in the end. 

PART IV

“The 60s were good with that – for forgetting and moving on. There was – or seemed to be this renewed sense of freedom, as if the people were finding their true purpose in the city. A great big curtain was being pulled back and we were given the opportunity to redefine ourselves. It felt like hope, in a way and with the distance put with the church, I felt I could breathe a little more and I was able to find myself. By the time Expo rolled around, it gave me purpose – something to do. The energy in the city was astounding. The projects people were coming up with – the possibilities they were unveiling – I had never felt something like that. I thought for sure this energy would see us through the next one hundred years; we’d be feeding off of it and returning to it for years to come. It would be our source of creation. Everyone seemed to be excited; the world was literally in our backyard and it felt good to bask in the attention.”

 It made sense for Étienne to have Expo, considering how good he was at catering to others – at giving them the good time they wanted. He thrived in giant crowds and lived for the attention. Plus, at the time, Montreal really did feel as though it was the center of Canada. It still felt like an other-worldly experience and there were still times when Edward wasn’t convinced Expo hadn’t been one massive hallucination. And he’d only been a small part of it, unlike Étienne who had lived every stage of it.

 “With the change of decade, going into the 70s, I expected much of the same – moving forward, the endless possibilities of the future and such. For the first time in a long time, I was actually looking forward to having more time – to being immortal and being able to experience every change. To make new connections. Expand and broaden the horizons and such.”

 “And then it all went to shit, starting with the October crisis. There was a lot that happened in the 70’s and not everything was bad, but for me, personally, it was a series of euphoric highs and devastating lows. In the same breath of the Crisis there would be a Cup win, then there was the Exodus, the language debacles and it never seemed to end. Up and down and up and down. One giant roller coaster that never gave me a chance to catch my breath. It was hard to feel anything let alone make it constant. It took a toll – added up and left me reeling in ways I had never thought possible. I couldn’t finish celebrating the Cup that I would get notified that something terrible had just happened. I would be relishing in disco and there’d be a murder. It was too fucking much. I couldn’t take it anymore. Everything I had worked so hard to build was slowly being torn from my hands and what was left didn’t seem to matter enough. The proverbial carpet had been yanked from under my feet and no matter how many times I tried to get up, I just kept falling and falling and falling... there was no end in sight.”

 Their correspondence at that time had petered off, somewhat. They’d both ended up in unpleasant situations and the last thing Edward had wanted to do was to take a pen and write to his friend to let him know how miserable he was. There’d been times when he’d wondered if his friend hadn’t found out about his fate and had left him for dead as well and it had only been later – much later – that he’d found out through Étienne exactly why he hadn’t written as often, if at all, for a few years.

 “I’m not exactly proud of what I ended up doing, but it seemed like the right solution at the time. I was a mess. I needed help but I didn’t realise it and I wasn’t sure there even was such help for such a lost cause. Working the streets and the clubs were as much self-punishment as they were the only place I felt I could succeed. It was easy to spread my legs to let some random guy fuck me in an alley. It was easy to pretend to be someone else. It was easy to get down on my knees and suck them off. It was easy to let others use me as they wanted and write it off as being unworthy of anything else. This was where I belonged – with the outcasts and the has beens.”

 There’s a shuddering breath that’s released and Edward has no idea if it’s his or Étienne’s. He’s astounded his boyfriend is willingly talking of this chapter of his life. It had taken years for Étienne to even speak of it to him and the confession had been a quiet halting thing that had taken him a while to piece together.

 Yet, despite finding out, it hadn’t changed Edward’s opinion of him. If anything, he had found Étienne brave and courageous for telling him about it and his heart had ached for him even more. Étienne was worthy. Étienne wasn’t a failure and he succeeded at so many other wonderful things. In his opinion, he was still as relevant as before and had never been an outcast or a has been. He was still a leader and trail blazer in his own right, even if Étienne himself didn’t always realise it.

 “When they gave me the Olympics,” Étienne goes on, once more showing that he is brave and more than the terrible things that he had gone through, “I hoped this would be the shot I needed – that it would be as wonderful as Expo had. If anything, it would be on a smaller scale than Expo. It would be a piece of cake, I figured. At least, they’d given me the Olympics in a timely way and not last minute. Therefore, there would be no excuses to fail. but for as much as Expo felt like a fever dream doused with magic, the Olympics were harder to get going. There were so many things that went wrong. So many strikes. So much corruption. The magic was gone. It was the opposite of what I needed and it just drove me further down my own spiral.

 “So I went for the drugs and the sex. One made me feel when I was numb, one numbed everything when I felt too much. And the sex was as much a means to an end as what seemed to be the only thing I could properly deliver. So I stuck to it. Went in and out of these phases. Went on the biggest of benders, woke up in places I had no recollection of going to and such. Drove Élyse nuts. But it didn’t matter to me; I’d still be alive, so who cared what I put myself through?”

 Edward wants to say that there were many who cared, but he knows that it would fall on deaf ears. He gets what Étienne means by it, but it still hurts him that his boyfriend had had to go through all of this. He gives his hand another squeeze and if anything, Étienne offers him a small smile, acknowledging the gesture.

 “I was all over the place and when I finally met Koffey, shortly after the Olympics, it was quite by accident and he took me by surprise.”

 “Everything about our relationship was different than the others I’d been in up until then. For starters, it didn’t happen the way the others had. It wasn’t the usual meet, sex and eventually develop feelings. He’d been living in the city for a few years when we met. He’d immigrated here, in search for a new adventure – ahead of the wave that would come later on. He’d decided to open up a restaurant, bringing us the local flavors of his own country. I stumbled there, quite by accident and I was most likely high and not even fully coherent. To be honest, I can’t even say I remember that day; he’s the one who told me later on.”

 “I ended up returning. Later. On a better day.  I think I was convinced it was my first time here, but Koffey was a little wary of seeing me again. Apparently, I had been a little rowdy on my first visit... Yet, he still gave me a chance and was still very polite while he served me, if a little guarded. I felt bad, so I returned and the more I went back, the more I was drawn – by him, his cuisine, and his quiet sense of humour and intelligence.”

 “He eventually realised I wasn’t a complete asshole and he’d start coming to talk to me when the restaurant was quiet. He was – a breath of fresh air, really and at the time the one good thing I had going on. It felt like being thrown a lifeboat – something to hang on to while I tried not to drown – by my thoughts, my life, the shit-show burning around me. A beacon of hope and light I clung to desperately.”

 “I honestly didn’t even think Koffey was interested in men. It surprised me, when one day, I hung around until the restaurant closed. I waited for him out in the back, not wanting to go home just yet. I also didn’t think going home just yet would be wise. I was still all over the place and I knew that if I went home I’d end up using or doing something even stupider. Having a friend helped keeping my thoughts on track. Koffey, without knowing what was going on in my head, helped keep my mind quiet. I wanted to know more about him and his life, so I focused on that. Anyways, it’d been a quiet night and we’d been having a grand old time chatting. I thought maybe we could walk around and bum out in a park. Summer was starting to settle in for good and it was a perfect night out. Warm and this side of humid, with a gentle breeze to make it pleasant.”

 Edward has his own thoughts and ideas about the description of the weather, but he schools his face in a neutral expression and listens on.

 “He was surprised to see me out back, but pleased and we picked up our conversation from where we’d left off. We ended up taking the long way back to his. I didn’t mind having to walk back to mine after and the extra detour would do me some good. However, he invited me in for a beer and I obviously said yes. He was my friend, after all and the thought of a cold beer to end the night sounded great.”

 “We must have spent a few more hours drinking beer and talking and somewhere along the line, he leaned in and kissed me. Completely unprompted. I was shocked and surprised and at first he thought I wasn’t interested, since I hadn’t kissed him back. He must have apologised at least a dozen times. It was quite funny, really. I’d keep trying to tell him that it was fine, but he wouldn’t listen. And the more he went on, the more afraid he was that I’d do something to him – which was quite sobering, let me tell you. I finally took matters in my own hands and kissed him myself. We’d been hanging around together for months, by then and had I known, I would have put a move on him sooner, maybe. The kiss finally got him to stop apologising and for a moment after that all we did was make-out on his couch like all the terrible clichés in movies.” He laughs at that, fond, as he twiddles with an unlit cigarette. “It was so different, though – soft and tender. Nicholas had been very forward with his kissing that first time. I knew we would end up in his bed the moment he kissed me, whereas with Koffey – it almost felt hesitant and cautious and I thought that was lovely.”

 “He still asked afterwards if I was that way, which I thought was both endearing and silly – considering I had just kissed him and wouldn’t have minded him kissing him some more. I assured him that I was and to prove my point, I kissed him again. I recall teasing him about it later, asking him if he needed another kiss to be sure I was into men. He thought I was being ridiculous, which was saying something.”

 There’s a gentle, soft smile that graces Étienne’s features, not for the first time during their talk, and Edward wonders what memories his boyfriend is reliving – what images his brain has conjured for him to revisit. He’s glad, though, that despite the heartache that Étienne still has fond memories of Koffey to go back to.

 “I wasn’t in love with him – not at that point, but I was certainly drawn to him. He was – beautiful. On the outside as much as on the inside; a gentle soul, really. I would have willingly gone to bed with him that night, but he insisted we wait a little and take things slow. This had never really happened and even though I was a little annoyed, I didn’t push the issue and floated back home after one last kiss.”

 “He actually – I swear, the next time I went to see him, he actually asked me out on a proper date. He was too much! And I couldn’t believe that a man like Koffey, sweet and gentle and kind, would want to date me who felt broken and used and soiled in so many ways. But he saw beyond that and insisted we go on a proper date before we went to bed together and so I said yes; because I did really want him and I loved his company.”

 “Our first date was nothing extraordinary, but it was nice – to be taken out – to feel as though I was worthy of someone’s attention and affection again. It was almost as good as a high. He took me out to dinner and then insisted we go to a movie and he was so gallant about the whole thing. He paid for the meal and for the ticket and don’t ask me how the movie ended, because halfway through we started making-out in the back and before the movie ended we left to go back to his.”

 “Koffey was – so very sweet to me. Our first time together felt like something out of a romance movie. There was no frenetic urgency to it. It wasn’t just sex because he wanted a fast way to get to his release. He made love to me. Me! It boggled my mind. He kissed and caressed every bit of me that felt broken and used. It was – wonderful and too much and I tried changing the pace to something that felt less consuming ‘cause I couldn’t handle so much love being given to me, but he kept on finding ways to make it less about the sex and more about us and I couldn’t take it. I eventually broke down in tears.”

 “And get this – he thought he, of all people, had done something wrong to me – that he’d hurt me in some way. I came clean to him. Told him everything. As much as I could. The drugs, the streets – the fall from grace. Every last ugly truth came out as he held me in his arms and made sure I understood I was someone worthy of love again. I felt stupid for breaking down and felt even worse for needing him to comfort me. And despite that, there were still things I couldn’t tell him. He tried asking about what was bothering me – because he could tell. Even when I lied – he could always tell when there was more – when everything in my head was too loud, but it was hard to explain. I couldn’t just say oh by the way, I’m semi-immortal and I represent a city. Yeah, fucked up I know, but I swear that’s not the acid talking.”

 “It wasn’t stupid,” Edward breaks. He knows Étienne is in a better place now, but he also knows his boyfriend is still prone to great bouts of self-doubt that do more harm than good to him. He’d hate to think that Étienne still feels that way.

 “I know,” Étienne responds quickly. Edward wonders if he isn’t deflecting, but he figures Étienne’s heart has been scorched raw enough for the day that he can let it slide for this time.

 “You’ve always been worthy of love,” He adds softly and Étienne stills for a moment.

 “I know.” He says again, but it sounds different this time around; a little more vulnerable and fragile. Edward wants to gather him in his own arms and hold him tightly, but instead he keeps hold of his hand and lets Étienne carry on with his story.

 “I made it up to him, later, once the storm had passed. I didn’t want him to think that I would be some emotional weight to him. He’d wanted sex so I made sure to deliver. He was still very sweet and loving with me and I tried to ignore it. I focused on making it good for him so that he wouldn’t toss me to the side and in my mind it worked. Yet, thinking back, there were still times when I felt like he was onto me. Like he knew when I was faking it for both our benefits, but he let me be.”

 “Still, for as much as Koffey was good for me and to me, he wasn’t a cure to all my problems. It would’ve been too easy. He helped – more than he probably ever realised, but I was still reckless and I still fluctuated. Bad days and worse days. On those, he’d simply hold me in his arms and let me cry in them.

Sometimes there’d be an okay day. He made it tolerable. To be alive. Made the sharp edges rounder. Made me feel like I could hang on another day. And there were those times when I felt like I genuinely wanted to be around – for him. I wanted to take him somewhere or kiss him again. I wanted to tell him some funny story I had heard or simply go to bed with him one more time. So I stuck it out and tried to survive.”

 “He was so kind and patient with me. He loved me, despite what I was and how I was. He loved me even when I couldn’t love myself. God, I never deserved him. He was too good for me and to me. And somehow, I repaid his kindness by making him sick and killing him!”

 “You don’t know that for sure.” Edward replies quickly, without thinking.

 He remembers the visit. Remembers finding out about the real significance of Koffey. Of going over to visit Étienne and finding him distraught and broken hearted. Of Étienne bringing him to the cemetery. The breakdown and the tears. The trembling murmured admissions of guilt. The dawning connection he’d made.

 Edward had been in his own headspace at the time and their correspondence had petered out, hence his grasp of Koffey’s role in Étienne’s life had been lacking in some regards. But standing by that grave, with his friend opening up about him and telling him what had happened had marked Edward.

 “I may as well have, Edward.” Étienne snaps. He lights up the cigarette he’d been previously playing with and takes a long drag from it. “He died and it was all my fault. I couldn’t even – I wasn’t even there when he died. I was too afraid. And ashamed. I was a coward. He’d chosen me and I may as well have tossed him out.” He flicks the ash with more force than necessary and when Edward spares him a glance, he sees the storm of hate and shame fight in Étienne’s eyes through his unshed tears. “He deserved better – after everything he did for me and I repaid his kindness by being a coward.”

 Edward knows that there’s no sense in telling Étienne that it’s not his fault. His boyfriend will keep berating himself until he runs out of steam and he supposes that it’s best to let him be and wait it out. Yet, it doesn’t sit well with him to have Étienne react this way. Sure, he could have been responsible for Koffey getting sick, but at the same time, there was no actual proof. He hates that it still eats Étienne alive and part of him wants to take him by the shoulders, shake him, and tell him to convince himself otherwise. Especially if it’ll help him move on. But – he’s known Étienne for too long and knows that such actions will do him no good.

 Instead, he waits and starts to itch for a cigarette of his own. He settles instead for a deep breath and then another. He thinks back to his own response to the crises. To the way he’d taken action. The misery and heartache he’d seen and lived. The friends he’d lost. The ones he’d buried. He thinks of running to Montreal to get away from it all and leaning on Étienne for a chance to forget and leave it all behind. There’s an irony here he still hasn’t fully grasped but it’s a reflection for a different day. There’s already enough that’s been looked over for one day.

 “I don’t think he would have wanted you to beat yourself over it,” He offers instead. Étienne sniffs loudly and doesn’t give him an answer. Instead, he remains quiet, fighting with his own demons.

 “You never did tell me why you called him Koffey,” Edward tries again, minutes later, when he feels that the mood has shifted once more and that Étienne has calmed down some. Perhaps this approach will work better, he thinks.

 Étienne sniffles and rubs at his eyes, “Oh,” He starts and a small smile deigns to make an appearance on his face, which Edward is thankful for. “Apparently, his regular customers used to call him that. He thought it was hysterical and he never really liked his own name. I never questioned it beyond that and it stuck.”

 Étienne grows silent after that and turns reflective. Even Mercury seems to sense the shift in mood and nuzzles her way up to his arms for cuddles. The distraction serves its purpose and Étienne focuses on her for a while, caressing her fur and scratching her behind the ears, which she seems to enjoy, if Edward is to judge by the wagging of her tail. He watches and lets them be for a while, glad the dog can help where he can’t.

 “You would’ve liked him,” Étienne quietly says after a while. He’s not looking at him, hands still buried deep in Mercury’s dark coat, but Edward doesn’t mind.

 “I’m sure I would have – he sounds like a great guy.”

 “The greatest.”

 Not for the first time, Edward wonders if Étienne’s feelings hadn’t become tainted with guilt over the years. He doesn’t question Étienne’s love for Koffey, but he wonders if the circumstances of his death haven’t left a lasting grip on him that wouldn’t have otherwise been there if the man had died of natural causes at a ripe old age. The wounds are still too raw and fresh to ask, so he lets the matter rest and figures that there will be other occasions to ask.

 They fall silent after that, both lost again in their own thoughts. He hears the occasional snuffle from Mercury and sends out a silent prayer of thanks to whatever higher power there might be out there for her presence in Étienne’s life. In the few years Étienne has had her, he already sees the difference and impact she’s made in his life.

 Eventually, Mercury settles back on Étienne’s side and his friend leaves a hand around her neck, absent-mindedly stroking her dark coat, while he reaches out for Edward’s own hand with his other. Edward is a little surprised, but he doesn’t mind and let’s Étienne play with his fingers. He traces the lines on his hand with the edge of a nail and draws loops with it afterwards. Edward watches the movement carefully with his eyes and finds it oddly grounding in a way. He hadn’t realised he’d felt a little unmoored by these tales and he wonders, not for the first time, just how attuned to him Étienne really is.

 They settle around each other, the breeze gently ruffling their hair and Edward takes a deep breath to process some of what he’s just heard.

 “And shortly after Koffey died, while I was still mourning him and hating myself for everything I had done, you came along at both the best and worst moment of my life.”

--

Part III Part V

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

Imagine:

Fun/humor sex with Erik. Requires laughs, and smiles.

Me and my boo always have a good time while having sex.

“Erik...what the fuck is this?”

Y/N pulls out her new collar that Erik had made for her.

“If found. Return to Daddy. You come up with the wildest shit.”

Erik laughs, “it’s different. Everytime we go out somewhere like to the mall or those lame ass carnivals you like, just flash this to security if you get lost and my name and number is on the back.”

“This isn’t the old days, Erik,” Y/N fights a laugh, “we have technology now. All I gotta do is call your phone and find out where you are if I get lost.”

“True...but the shit is still funny.”

“Just for that I’m not wearing this.”

Y/N tossed the collar back inside of the gift bag. She placed it in front of Erik while he sat on the couch.

“C’mon, baby girl. It’s fun, do it for me. Please?”

He pouts, giving her his puppy dog eyes. Y/N grabs the bag, taking the collar out again to admire it.

“I mean...it’s cute...I guess.”

She placed it around her neck.

“All it’s missing is a chain for you to drag me around the house with like a damn dog.”

Erik smacks his forehead, “that’s what I forgot, the chain, and the cage to put you in.”

“Fuck YOU,” she flips him off, “I’m not your damn pet, nigga.”

“Would you ever be down for pet play though?”

Erik follows Y/N into the kitchen. As soon as he sat down on a bar stool his stomach growled.

“No, I don’t think I would be into that,” She opened the fridge, “You’re hungry again? Didn’t we just go out to a restaurant?”

“I hardly ate all day fucking around with you and all this last minute holiday shopping.”

“You have two moods. Hungry, and horny.”

She pulls out some left over shrimp with broccoli and Alfredo sauce that she made to heat up for him.

“And you have two moods, hungry and sleepy.”

She starts the microwave.

“I’m not the one that’s eating. And I am tired I’m gonna turn in early.”

“You sound like a geriatric,” Erik laughs, “I already know once we get older all that sex shit ain’t happening.”

Y/N kisses her teeth, “I’m not fucking at 70 years old, Erik. Just because you have traces of vibranium in your blood doesn’t give you the right to talk about me and my future old self.”

“Man, men in wakanda still be fucking at 90.”

She couldn’t help but to laugh. Y/N takes his food out to put into a bowl for him.

“90?! That’s wayyyy too old.”

“Shit, if I can still get my dick up at 90 I’m fucking.”

“Catch me in the hospital getting a pacemaker implant,” Y/N jokes, “tryna fuck me to death, literally.”

“You can’t handle the dick now so I already know you can’t at 90.”

Y/N turned around, a finger pointed at Erik and a roll of her neck, “keep talking shit and you won’t eat! And you won’t get no pussy from me!”

“Girl,” Erik leans over the counter, “Nobody want your dry ass food anyway. And I’m getting me some pussy tonight. We ain’t have sex in about two days that’s too long for me.”

“Calm your dick down, Sir, and my food aint dry. Keep fucking playing, Erik.”

“Aight, chill.”

“That’s what I thought.”

She placed his bowl of food in front of him with no fork.

“Where’s my fork?”

She smiles mischievously, “eat it with your hands since you wanna be slick. Who was that last chick you were with?” Erik reaches out to grab her but she dodged him, “Sabrina? Sariya? Fuck if I care, but that bitch was the last bitch to put up with yo shit. Eat with your hands.”

“Why are you so damn cold blooded, ma?”

She sticks her tongue out at him, leaving him in the kitchen alone. Erik finally gets up himself to get a fork so he could eat his food and chase after her ass. He was way too hungry to play around at the moment.

Once he was finished Erik cleans his bowl and fork, setting out to hunt her ass down. He found her, in their bedroom with her hair tied, sleep shorts on, and a tank top with no bra. She was just getting ready to get her ass in bed.

“Nah, what you doing?” Erik kicks off his shoes.

“Sleeping. I told you I’m tired. We had a long ass day.”

“You burn me up with this shit. When I’m horny, you sleep. You doing all that old shit already.”

“You and your dick have a good night.” She covers her entire body, then she starts to fake snore. Erik chuckles before pulling the covers off of the whole bed.

“Did you really just fake snore? And no you’re not going to sleep, Y/N.”

Erik began to undress. Y/N curled up into a ball because now she was cold.

“Get your sexy ass up, we fucking.”

“Erik, listen. I’m tired.”

“Nope.”

“Oh my God,” she finally sits up, “You’re getting on my nerves.”

“Just take all that shit off,” Erik stood in full nudity now, “c’mon, take your clothes off right fucking now before I rip it off.”

“Nigga,” she takes off her tank and shorts leaving her scarf on, “Happy?!” She makes her titties shake, then she opens her legs to show him her pussy, “happy, motherfucker?!”

Erik laughs, “Fucking ecstatic,” he was in a laughing fit as he crawled onto the bed, “I’m really tripping off the fact that you keep acting like you don’t want some dick.”

She was staring at the dick in question. Now, like Erik had some sort of power over her, she wanted his dick in her mouth.

“Now I wanna suck your dick.”

“Shit, you ain’t gotta tell me twice,” Erik went to lay on his back, “come suck this dick.”

She shook her head at him, crawling up to kneel in front of his dick. She picks up his thick erection, swinging it back and forth playfully.

“Don’t play with it, suck it,” Erik barks out.

Y/N starts sucking on the tip of his dick, shutting Erik up. She was getting it real nice and wet like he liked. Her mouth was sloppy and warm around him. He made sounds of appreciation whenever she would lower her mouth around him. His eyes were focused on the TV because she had a movie playing.

“Oh shit, you got CB4 on!”

“Erik! I’m tryna suck your dick!” Y/N glared at him.

“Sorry, baby, I know it’s just I haven’t see this in a minute.”

He focused back on her, stroking her face, “Keep going, Daddy like it when you suck on his balls.”

She went back at it like she never stopped. Now Erik started playing with her.

“Let me see that mouth,” Y/N showed Erik her mouth with spit oozing off her tongue, “Now suck on the tip...yeah, I like the way you do it...stop, let me see your mouth again.”

Erik slaps her tongue with the weight of his dick, then he took it up a notch to smack her face.

“Damn!” She grabs his dick, Erik laughs.

“Did it hurt?” He asked with a smile.

“You slapped me in my damn eye with it.”

Just when Y/N was getting into it again a funny scene from the movie came up and Erik bursts into laughter. Y/N heard it too, popping her mouth off his dick to laugh as well.

“See, I’m about to turn this shit off I can’t concentrate.” She says with annoyance.

“Yo, I forgot how funny this shit was,” he wipes a tear from the side of his eye, “I’m sorry I couldn’t help it.”

“If you want your dick sucked I suggest you stop.”

“Okay, mommy.”

She drowned out the movie and gave Erik her all. He loved it every single time. Now she had his undivided attention. Erik starts bucking his hips, grabbing her scarf and messing up her hair.

“Damn, Baby, I wasn’t tryna buss a nut before I got in that pussy.”

“I want the nut though.” She sucked his dick with her lips tightly wrapped around him. Everytime she came up she would lick the tip of his dick between his slit to catch the pre cum.

“Damn, yes, baby girl,” His hands were over his face now. Y/N took him all the way in her mouth, Erik erupting deep down her throat. She licked the last bits off.

Erik sits up, grabbing Y/N and flipped her body over. Her scarf was completely off now, hair all wild and she just got it done.

“My hair!!” She went to grab the scarf to try and put it back on but Erik had his lips wrapped around her clit. She bucked her hips, thighs being pushed back. Y/N grabs Erik’s hair, grinding her pussy on his lips.

“Since you wanna fuck up my hair I’m feeding you this pussy.”

“Mmznsmsk” he was talking but not a word made sense.

“What was that? I can’t hear you with a mouth full of pussy, Erik.” At this point his whole face was being used to her advantage. Erik pinches her inner thighs hard causing Y/N to let go of his hair.

“What the fuck?” She laughs but the pain was still there. She rubs her thighs to sooth the stinging pain.

“Girl, I was over here dying,” Erik rubs her juices from his nose, “you had me drowning in the pussy.”

“Just finish eating me, i was close.”

Erik did what he was told for once. He went back to eating Y/N’s pussy for her, making his girl moan out his name. She didn’t force his face into her slit anymore, she just let him do his thing.

“Yes, right there,” she let out a sigh, “fuck, right there. I’m gonn cum in your mouth if you keep eating me like this.”

“And I want that shit, girl.”

His ravishing mouth weakened her further and now Y/N’s arms were scaling the bed to grab something. She couldn’t control the quake of her thighs whenever Erik would lick her clit and place soft wet kisses over it. Her pussy convulsed and rippled against his mouth while her hands went up to grab his dreads.

“Mm,” he moaned into her pussy.

“You’re moaning in my pussy, baby?” She bit her lip with a smile. Erik only looked up at her with playful eyes before giving her a wink. Y/N giggles before opening her mouth to moan again. She finger combed Erik’s dreads while he licked and sucked on her sensitive folds.

“Oh, gosh, I’m cumming, baby.”

After her body went through that explosive experience that covered Erik’s beard and mouth Y/N laughs softly as Erik crawled up her body.

“You’re mouth is fucking dangerous,” she licked her essence from his lips, “You fucking me, right?”

“What you think?” He spoke with a deep husky tone. Erik went for her lips again, Damn near sucking her face off. She giggled from him tickling her with the light and soft kisses he placed down her neck and over her chest. Y/N wraps her arms around Erik’s neck and her legs around his waist. He was so damn hard that all he had to do was use the power of his hips to enter her pussy. The minute he did, Y/N let out a heavenly moan. Erik sat up on his elbows and plowed into her with a craving so addictive he couldn’t see himself fucking her just this once tonight. Y/Ns head was damn near hanging over the edge of the bed.

“We’re gonna fall off!!!” She spoke in a breathless tone.

“I gotchu,” Erik sucked on her nipples, “This pussy just too good baby.”

“Oh, yeah?” She fucked him back, “how about now?”

“Much better,” His wide dimpled smile warmed her heart.

The rhythm of their body had the bed rocking. The sound of their sex mixed with their loud moans drowned out the comedy movie. Y/N squeezed Erik’s firm ass causing him to sigh against her lips. His hands gripped the edge of the bed as he took control and fucked into his woman with his eyes burning through hers.

“Shit, Daddy!” She dragged her nails down his spine, “Fuck my pussy like that!”

One particular thrust had her body slipping further from the bed.

“Erik—“

“Fuck!” Before he could even save her and himself from falling off the bed they both tumbled to the carpeted floor wrapped in each others bodies. Y/N burst into laughter, clutching her naked chest. Erik lifted up on his elbows looking down at her before snorting a laughter himself. They were literally high off of laughing.

“I cannot stop laughing,” she shook her head, covering her eyes with her hands, “Might as well fuck me on the floor, daddy.”

“I ain’t getting back up, shit,” He was still deep inside of her. He sat up and pulled Y/N into his lap. She wrapped her legs around him and Erik placed his hands on her waist. He bounced her in his lap, the sound of her ass cheeks clapping on his thighs. She grabbed the edge of the bed to hold on for the ride.

“This the best pussy you ever had,” she was telling him not asking.

“Fuck yes, this good pussy.”

Y/N gripped Erik’s thighs and started bouncing and grinding her hips even more. Her titties damn near hit his face. She smiled down at him with those sexy lips.

“You having fun, huh!” Erik grabs her ass and spreads his thighs to thrust up into her, “look at you bouncing on the dick like you on a pogo stick!”

“You like that shit,” She threw her head back, “Damn, Daddy I’m gonna cum on this dick again!”

“You fucking better or I’m getting that ass,” Erik warns.

“Shit—“

“Come on, give me that sloppy puss—“

“OH MY GOD!”

Her head fell forward against Erik’s shoulder. She placed kisses on his neck as her body shook around him from her orgasm.

“I fucking love this dick, baby.”

“You gonna make me cum now?”

“Should I?” Y/N teases.

“What you mean?” Erik grabbed her face to look at him, “Don’t play with me, Y/N.”

“I feel like playing now.”

Y/N lifts from Erik’s body to jump up on the bed. Erik’s jaw tightened with annoyance. He lifts from the floor, walking up to the bed and reaching out to grab her leg. Y/N jerked herself back quickly, laughing.

“I’m not chasing you, Y/N, stop playing and come give me that pussy.”

“Awww, Daddy’s mad,” Y/N placed a fake pout on her lips, “too bad I don’t care.”

Erik was on the bed now, his strong arms springing forward, grabbing Y/N’s ankles and making her fall to the bed. Her body bounced and she squealed. Erik crawled over to her quickly, grabbing her wrists to trap her beneath him.

Erik chuckles, “too late.”

“You must think I’m playing,” Erik thrusts forward inside of her again, “keep still and stop playing around!”

“Okay!” She watched Erik pull her legs back so far that her feet touched the head board.

“Dont be surprised if I wake up pregnant with you fucking me like this, Daddy.”

Her slick walls coated his dick. Erik locked Y/N’s ankles with one hand as he used all might to drill Y/N’s pussy. She was tapping the bed with her hand from how intense he was moving.

“Don’t tap out now, be a champ,” Erik swivels his hips inside of her, “what I tell you? Let me take this pussy, girl. Cut that shit out.”

“How are you not cumming?!!!”

“Shut up,” Erik playfully bites her neck.

Her pussy was way too sensitive at this point. She was a shaking mess beneath Erik the more he fucked her. Y/N reaches out to grab his balls to play with because the shit drove him crazy.

“I see what you’re doing,” He flips her over, “now who’s playing?”

Y/N was not prepared for the way he fucked her from the back. Erik had her arms locked so she wouldn’t try and go for his nuts.

“You’re not playing fair!” She mumbled into the mattress.

“Fuck, now I’m about to cum! Goddamn!”

Her mouth fell open in a silent scream as her body rocked back against Erik’s. He lifted her up so that she was pressed against him. He thrust into her a couple more times before his hefty cum filled her pussy. She allowed her head to fall back against his shoulder to relish in the sensation of his cum inside of her.

“Damn, I needed that,” Erik kisses her neck, “I’m still hard though give me five minutes.”

“Oh, nah, uh-uh,” Y/N wasn’t having that she was exhausted, “Nah, nigga not tonight.”

“Please, Y/N? You know I usually don’t beg unless I really want something.”

“Erik, I’m a geriatric, remember?”

“Bruh,” He pushes Y/N down on the bed. She turned around with a glare on her face before tossing a pillow at his head.

“Now you’re definitely not getting some pussy.”

[ninatastic]

@kay-licious how dare u (thanks <3) @silent-calling youre doing amazing sweetie

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

I wouldnt call it a key factor but it’s important to feel attraction towards your partner

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

sure! If it’s a healthy one definitely :D

3. Are you a virgin?

nah 

4. Are you in a relationship?

yeh!

5. Are you in love?

I’d say so!

6. Are you single this year?

no

7. Can you commit to one person?

yes

8. Describe your crush

it me bf

9. Describe your perfect mate

same as above c: 

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

no, only when it comes to animals c;

11. Do you ever want to get married?

thats a dream of mine tbh

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

I guess every healthy person would say no but yes, I’d absolutely do (only the first time tho, after the second time you gotta ask yourself if it’s really worth it)

13. Do you get jealous easily?

in regard to my bf: I used to but it’s a hell of a lot less nowadays. In regard to people in general, sometimes, especially when im not doing well mentally

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

me bf

15. Do you have any piercings?

just have my ears pierced!

16. Do you have any tattoos?

no but maybe soon

17. Do you like kissing in public?

only if its sweet forehead or cheek kisses, or quick kisses on the mouth or hand kisses

20. Do you shower every day?

yes though I gotta admit I really have to force myself. Not because I like being stinky but because everything is kinda difficult sometimes

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

bruh I sure hope my bf does;;

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

nah

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

I’ve been in a relationship for 5 and a half years now, I think so

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

it is possible but who tf knows

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

idk, to be frank: I think my life would be a bit easier if I wasnt in a relationship, or if I hadnt been in a relationship for the past 1-2 years. And I often feel like im more of a burden to my bf than anything else. But thats a different story

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

as in losing touch with me? I guess so

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

a song yes and it was awkward as hell ajhajdfha and people have done drawings for me which is <3<3<3<3<3<<3<3<33

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Yup

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

very very unfortunately yes, and just like a bunch of you guys I was this close to killing myself. I was in a very bad place which I know is not an excuse for this. I still think about it even if it’s been a time since then but I think I cqan never forgive myself because of that

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

often but im too much of a scared cat dsfskjf  idk though, I would love to be much more petite size wise

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

oh often

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

yeah;; I’m not exactly pretty or popular, so puberty was hard

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

hell yeah

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

:( no

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

yeh!!

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Yeah and it’s difficult to be normal then aaaaaahhhhhhh

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

some of my friends have a strong disliking towards my current bf but i dont know if you can call it hate

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

yeah and it ruined me for a while

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

uuuuhh not really I think

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

whenever I write bday cards I always put a poem in it :D

41. Have you had sex so far this year?

hella

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

depends on how thirsty I am

43. How long was your longest relationship?

5 and a half years and counting

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

2-3

45. How many people did you kiss in 2011?

uuhh I was 14, no one 

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

HELLA

47. How old are you?

22 my dudes

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

I#d try to play it cool because internally I’m panicking, someone help me

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

I love about my bf how you can ALWAYS count on him when shit gets down, even if he hasnt talked to a friend for a good while and they’re like “hey I need you”, he’ll be there in a sec Also that he is still able to surprise me

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

jsdfhsjdfks GO AWAY, I’d say while closing the door and shutting the blinds quicker than lightning

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

yeah, but that’s probably because I have bpd and depressions

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

yeah, I tried to help them on all occassions, so much that I ruined my own life partially and made myself sick. But whatever I did or said, they apparently want to suffer, so i gave up trying. 

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

yeah my abuser probably

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

unfortunately yes and fortunately yes

55. Share a relationship story.

uuuuuuhhhhh; I dont really know what to write here. Guess I’ll never forget when my bf held a kitten (which was only a week old) in his hands and he almost cried because he loved the baby so much. Haha, he was afraid of crushing it though because it was much smaller than the palms of his hands

56. State 8 facts about your body

I gained a lot of weight since last year which is why I avoid posting or taking pics, but according to everyone else you dont see it that much (?); my hair is getting its natural curliness back; I fucked up my knee so I’ll have knee surgery next year; I bruise easily; I have a shit ton of scars; I love my super green eyes; I have thicc thighs and if I’m very emotional I get red spots all over my body

57. Things you want to say to an ex

to my first ever bf: fuck u lmao to the second bf I had: I’m so sorry for everything and I hope that you found your place :)

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

uuuhhh be sweet and understanding, be funny, be somewhat smart, dont be a mean asshole and be nice to other people (especially kids) and animals and also be able to be fascinated by small things 

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

yikes

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

my current bf is 8 years older than me

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

how open and nice they are? Idk I always choose my ppl to hang out with according to this

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

even though I’m a switch I have a big preference for being the sub, so if someone can dominate me and yknow do stull like carry me princess style or something im all like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

everything that comes after kissing imo

64. What is your definition of cheating?

I think as soon as you try to pursue someone emotionally that already counts as cheating

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

kissing, grinding, I love when someone talks dirty to me

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

if it aint too much of a tmi i’d love to admit that we have a collar and a leash so (not thinking about pet play uughfjhjsdfkhsd, just yknow someone is able to drag me to them like this or being held in place while being taken from behind is p nice)

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

something something being outside in the nature and also good food 

68. What is your sexual orientation?

69. What turns you off?

super super wet kisses where also my nose somehow gets stuck in someone elses mouth Like dude r u a vacuum cleaner sdfhsdkjhfks

70. What turns you on?

being manhandled

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

idk I dont really have a lot of wet dreams and usually theyre not very kinky but rather sweet and slow 

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

I like dirty talk, so imma leave that open 

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

i love to get flowers, or lil stuff that reminds us of our friendship or something, self made/home made stuff is always !!!!!!!!!!!!

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

probably hands? I love it when girls have super slender hands and when boys have rough and big hands

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

I already answered that c:

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

I have a few stories I’m proud of! But I really love this one: When I was little I grew up in a village in which like 300-400 people lived (maximum) and next to us lived this sweet older couple who always gave us sweets and vegetable for our parents, or they brought us stuff from when they went on vacation. The man is now constantly sick, he suffers from parkinson and you see the early statges of dementia setting in. A while ago he wanted to go and get the German version of fish and chips with his wife but due to him needing a ton of surgeriesw constantly he wasnt able to go out with his wife. When my mom told me this I was like wtf u cant just tell me this, I’m too soft. So I went and got fish and chips from the best market around us for him and flowers for his wife, despite the fact that I havent seen them in YEARS. When I arrived at their front door both of them hugged me and cried a bit

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

not bad if everything is consensual and if there’s a power balance thats equal 

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

I think the leash thing is one of the kinkiest things we’ve ever done tbh

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

yesterday a bit when my bf went out wth friends and had a few beers while I was stuck at home with the thought that I can never have a beer again dkadfjahdf as stupid as that sounds but I always enjoyed these chill evenings with a beer and friends

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

this morning when I cuddled my cats :D

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

my bf and many videogame and anime characters, also my best female friend is hella attractive, also some of my friends are to die for

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

my bf!!

83. Who was your first kiss with?

my first bf sdfjsdfs

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

it didnt really work out, it seemed as he was more interested in saying “hey im in a relationship!” than in me, hah;;

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

yeah, sure

[newluddite]

Which is worse Fat or Smoking?

It is disturbing that a similar number of deaths occur annually from health issues due to smoking and to obesity.  That number is around 300,000 to 450,000 in the US. 

Statistically Smoking is worse as the death rate is higher on a population basis.  Fewer people smoke and more of them die.  You cannot ignore that they are both serious numbers.  Still obesity is so common that it mostly balances out the relatively lower risk. For perspective about 37,000 people die in automobile accidents every year in the US. Therefore being fat is not worse than smoking, but it is ten times worse than crashing cars.

I use Murican numbers as they are easy to find and are representative of typical first world countries.

This is just a vomiting of common knowledge.  My interest is the cultural reaction to each.  I consider smoking and obesity both the result of addictive behaviour.  Once again the fact is it is not a genetic thing as the previous generations were not so heavy. 

Construction workers in 1932 having lunch.  This was a staged photo by Charles Ebbets on the 69th floor of a New York Skyscraper.  These guys are skinny by today's standards, but that was normal then. A sandwich, some coffee a smoke, and back to work. Small meals and hard work.  

When I was young an adult McDonalds lunch was a single patty burger, a packet of fries and an 8 oz drink.  Today that is a kids happy meal when you add a toy and a colorful box.  An Adult is encouraged to buy a triple patty burger, a pound of fries and a pint of sweet fizzy drinks.  That is not genetic it is bad behaviour encouraged.

Culturally today smoking is politically abhorrent.  My mom smoked and lived to her mid 90′s.  I know a 50 year old dying from cancer from cigars and chewing tobacco.  We make cigarette manufacturers put horrible images on the packages of diseased body parts.  We make smokers go outside in the rain to practice their habit.  They are almost treated like modern day lepers. 

The Government of Canada is going to spend one third of a billion bucks to study how to further reduce smoking as apparently 23% of young people have taken it up.  They want to stamp it out, while collecting millions in tax revenue from tobacco products.

By comparison moderately overweight people are treated with kid gloves and any suggestion that they are living poorly is considered offensive.  Extremely overweight people will parade themselves with pride and dare people to “fat shame” them.  Or they will take any suggestion of negativity about their appearance as a insult.  BUT the consequences of their lifestyle is deadly.

I have never been really fat.  I did lose weight of about 23% of my maximum body mass.  I would like to lose a bit more being at just under 200 lbs, but I am at a healthy weight for my height and body type and am a fit old man. ( I ride bicycles up mountains) That is a decision I made and a change in my life I succeeded with.

I know that obesity is at it very most basic level a decision.  Two summers ago there were horrible forest fires in Alberta that all but destroyed a small city.  They evacuated many people by air. One man was extremely obese and took two seats on an aircraft.  He was not the last in line and became racked with guilt about potentially causing the death of another person who could not get out because of him. He weighed 567 pounds and wore size 66 pants.  He made a decision.  He now weighs 240 pounds and wears size 34 pants.  This was a decision, not a medical procedure.  He changed what he ate.  He started walking places.  He credits the disaster for opening his eyes and saving his life.  He did it once he realized he put others at risk as well as himself.

We as a society benefit from people not dying from preventable disease.  For smoking we restrict advertising and ostracize the people who do it.  We push the message about the health risks.  Nobody who smokes is ignorant of the risks.  For obesity we do nothing but wring our hands and say more study is needed.  We bend over backwards to not offend. We soft sell the health risks even suggesting “fat and healthy” is possible. (It aint)  I ask really why the difference?  Should we not provide negative feedback?  We do for cigarettes, why not for big macs?

Are the fast food companies funding a dark cabal to keep the water muddy just as big tobacco did in the 60′s and 70′s? 

I think we need to think about it.  Either place active restrictions on what and how much people can be encouraged to eat by business and media, or remove the restrictions on tobacco.  They used to fund all sorts of events.  Fair is fair.

[httpsaw]

— 85 questions 💌

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag more people

i was tagged by @1esbiana thank u for tagging me angel!!

- LAST

1. drink - Raspberry & Blackberry water

2. phone call - My friend Emily

3. text message - my other friend Courtney

4. song you listened to - See you again by Tyler the creator

5. time you cried - Monday

- EVER

6. dated someone twice? - No

7. kissed someone and regretted it - the only 2 ppl ive kissed were guys so yes

8. been cheated on - No

9. lost someone special - Yeah

10. been depressed - Yes dsdfsjksdf still am b!

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - i havent thrown up i know my limits

- FAVE COLORS

12. Red

13. White

14. Green

- IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

15. made new friends - yeah and lost them but it be like that

16. fallen out of love - yes :(

17. laughed until you cried - yes omg i rlly be thinking i peed bc how hard i laughed

18. found out someone was talking about you - uhh yeah:/

19. met someone who changed you - no tbh its just me changing 

20. found out who your friends are - yeah:/

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - no

- GENERAL

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - all except 1

23. do you have any pets - a cat who i love legit i could go on for hours

24. do you want to change your name - i kinda wanna legally change my name to Rosa but thats tew much work

25. what did you do for your last birthday - no omg my birthdays r so depressing lets not talk abt this

26. what time did you wake up today - midday bc its not hot so i can rest

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - litchrally sleeping bc again its not hot so i dont have to suffer

28. what is something you can’t wait for - not being mentally ill & looking back at who i was in 10 years and how far i got or havent got

30. what are you listening to right now - Flower boy by Tyler the creator

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - yeah in primary school but i never saw him after that and i dont even remember anything abt him except his name

32. something that gets on your nerves - people talkin over me it makes me so mad, ppl who dont listen/just ignore u like bitch okay then.

33. most visited website - uh tumblr or pinterest i love that bitch

34. hair color - dark brown i dont dye my hair bc im worried abt burning my head

35. long or short hair - its slowly making its way to shoulder length cant wait to cut it again i love cutting my own hair omg

36. do you have a crush on someone - no idk like this half year ive just been thinking abt myself and how i can better myself, plus everyone i know/met im not attracted to so

37. what do you like about yourself - uh my eyes, my ability to empathise, how i can stand up for myself sometimes, my creativeness

38. want any piercings? - no sometimes i want to get my ears pierced for hoop earings but i have hearing aids and ive been self consious of them since i was a kid i dont wear them when i should n i dont want to draw attention BUT im trying to accept it n be confident like im struggling w my voice but im kinda accepting it and liking it so i gotta accept my deafness bc i pierce my ears thats so dumb sjkdjkks

39. blood type - idk i feel like this is so ppl can steal my kidneys go away (or at least pay me)

40. nicknames - litchrally just Rosa or “that sad bitch”

41. relationship status - single also ive been thinking abt this like obv im 19 n v shy/isolated but im worried ill never fall in love w someone bc ive had ppl love me but like i just dont feel like i will ever truly love someone and not be over it in a week

42. zodiac - Leo sun/Sag Moon/Taurus Rising

43. pronouns - He/Him or They/Them i dont mind

44. fave tv shows - Breaking Bad, Pretty Little Liars, idk most of them suck n i get bored of them

45. tattoos - i have 2 n i want more but im poor :’(

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery - yeah ive had like 7 i was supposed to have had my 8th but uhhhhhhh yeah the phsycologist didnt think it was the right time

48. piercings - no go away

49. sport - do i look like i do sports??? (this was in the voice of that vine sjkdjkdsfjk)

50. vacation - im always on a vacation in my mind when i close my eyes

51. trainers - i wear one pair of shoes n theyre white nikes i love them i only like the white shoes bc i hate the black pair i have bc they look weird n i dont buy shoes often i may buy boots soon tho

- MORE GENERAL

52. eating - go away

53. drinking - i answered this before?

54. i’m about to watch - myself pin some stuff to my pinterest boards

55. waiting for - myself to finish this and then do my skincare routine

56. want - time to stand still so i cant breathe

57. get married - i said it before idk if ill ever love someone i probably will right like so many people do? but idk if i want to get married, i like the idea of a wedding n dressing up all nice but idk if its for me

58. career - uhhh writer fml or florist like idk if i need a degree for that but like lemme plant flowers ok damn

- THIS OR THAT

59. hugs or kisses - hugs

60. lips or eyes - eyes bc some ppl dont moisturize their damn lips

61. shorter or taller - taller bc im short but if my future gf was shorter then like ok? sflkkl like what am i supposed to do get her really high boots to wear?

62. older or younger - older i guess? i only have dated ppl my age but as long as its not a big age gap yk like i dont want to date a 30 year old rn sdfkksfdk

63. nice arms or stomach - arms bc i wanna be held

64. hookup or relationship - neither bc id have a panic attacksdjfsfjjkfsdjk too real

65. troublemaker or hesitant - uhh? idk ? what does this mean? im hesitant like i wanna make sure shit aint gonna ruin me or go awful and if it does i have a plan/vague idea on how to fix it

- HAVE YOU EVER

66. kissed a stranger - no id rather choke

67. drank hard liquor - yes but name a drink that doesnt taste like death

68. lost glasses - i dont have glasses but i probably would

69. turned someone down - yea haha i laugh bc im uncomfortable bc it ruined a rlly close friendship i had oh well!

70. sex on first date - no id rather DIE

71. broken someone’s heart - yes :(

72. had your heart broken - yes im a sensitive bich!

73. been arrested - no i know ppl that have been but thats as close as i ever wanna get

74. cried when someone died - i cried when allison argent & lexa died but noone irl

75. fallen for a friend - yeah but it was online n we dont talk anymore but i do miss her

- DO YOU BELIEVE IN

76. yourself - yes im a legend (im in a good mood so yes i do)

77. miracles - uhhh i dunno?

78. love at first sight - yes im not even gonna play

79. santa claus - no but if ppl do thats cute n who am i to tell them not to

80. kiss on a first date - id let u know if i ever go on one!

81. angels - dunno? i guess i believe in god but angels? not really? like i wouldnt say they definetly DONT exist but i also wouldnt put my faith in them

- OTHER

82. best friend’s name - uh thats my cat Zulu

83. eye color - brown

84. fave movie - 13 going on 30 i bought it on discount from morrisons thinking i wouldnt like it but itd be something to watch but biiiiiiiitch i feel in love w that movie!!!

85. fave actor - crystal reed but only bc she played allison argent n i still would die for her

-Tag others: @matd @01chuu @lunesgf @nbwlw n anyone else who wants to 

[labgrownsteaks]

Chapter 21

We were all sitting down next to the river. Our bikes leaned up against some rocks in the parking lot. Guy stared at his phone. The little service indicator in the top right corner remained, but next to it read "No service" . He powered off his phone, and looked up at the river flowing by.

"So what do we do now?" he muttered.

"We wait" Erin responded.

"How much of the grid do you think we took out?" I asked

"No way to tell without service" Erin answered

There were a lot of things connected to the internet which we never thought about. Gas stations, television stations, banks. Everything needed to be online in order to function. All of that was gone now.

"Everyone seems to be behaving pretty well" Guy said, referring to the fact that we could've descended into civil unrest and chaos. On our ride to our spot by the river, we saw the gun shop owners staked out in front of their properties, with their AR15s and trucks parked sideways in front of their strip mall businesses. But nobody was looting, and freaking out. But there was a sense of unease in the air. Everyone could sense it. The internet was a bigger part of everyone's life than they had realized. From checking your instagram likes, to sending an email to work, all of it suddenly vanished, and while some had enjoyed this newfound freedom, as it warranted the best excuse ever in the history of the world, others were starting to freak out. The lines outside the gas station ran for blocks, but were also pointless, as the gas couldn't even be dispensed. The kid working the counter was helpless and when the manager arrived he couldn't do much, including lock the place as it was open 24 hours and had never been closed in years. He made due selling chips and soda to the masses who were panic buying everything in the store. We weren't really that worried because we had all been informed by Siri that we were merely rebooting the computers. The whole point of a reboot is that the computer starts up again, it had to. But what had been put on that USB, and why had we gone along with everything that we were told? What if, while we were gophers, we had just said no. Why did we even need to carry out the mission?

A fisherman pulled into the parking lot in an old Ford F150, late 70s model. He was an old timer, most likely in his mid 60s. He had the look of someone who had seen a lot of sun and Bud Light in his day. He grabbed a folding chair out of the bed of his truck, a cooler, an old tape player, and a couple fishing poles. He got set up in his spot about 20 yards from us, through a couple bobbers into the river, and plopped down into his chair before cracking a Bud Light and placing it into the cup cozy which was built into his collapsible chair. He pressed the play button on the old tape player, it was the size of a walkman but had a speaker on the other side of it. He was playing Johnny Cash. He looked over at us, since he was kind of the main attraction at the moment, and shouted out "What more do ya need?" Guy raised up his hands and shouted back "not much man!" . The old man's rods were stuck in the sand of the river bank with those holder things. He stood up, lit up a cigarette and started walking over towards us. He seemed harmless, but at the same time, with everything we had been through we couldn't help be a bit dubious about everything happening around us. What was real and what wasn't. We hadn't taken any shrooms or anything, but who knows what anyone had up their sleeves.

The old man got within hearing distance and started talking as he approached "You seein this shit?" Guy responded "Pretty crazy isn't it?" The old man spit onto the ground, and gave us a dubious glance. He had a big white beard, glasses, and a beat up hat which read "Schloss' Towing & Service" and a picture of a red towtruck on a white background. "These dumbshits all running around like a chicken with their head cut off" he stated. Erin nodded and gave a simple "Yep" in response. "You'd think their damn world ended because they can't get online and see a picture of a cat using a toilet. The world's still here last I checked isn't it?" he said with a smile and slight chuckle. "Yeah, the internet is pretty important to people isn't it?" I said, trying to bond with the guy as I really liked his approach and his demeanor was soothing amidst all the chaos. "Hell, I think they ought to give however attacked that substation a medal!" the old man continued. "Instead they calling em terrorists" he continued. Erin's eyes widened "Who's calling them terrorists?" The man looked at her with a smile, "The police hon, I heard it on the CB in my truck" "The police lines and short wave are still working. You can come listen if you want to. Lord knows I aint gonna be gettin any bites for hours" I was the first to respond. "I'd love to have a listen if that's cool sir. " The old man bristled at the word, Sir "Hey kid, look, I appreciate you calling me Sir, good for you, you don't see that with a lot of kids these days. But my name's Schloss" he said as he motioned us back to his truck. "Come have a listen" . And we all got up off our rocks, and walked back to his baby blue F150. He cracked the door open and turned the key backwards until the power came on. At first a slight crackling, and then Schloss turned the knob gently while looking right at me, and a voice began to pierce through the speakers. It said "2420 we have a 211 in progress at Rick's Sporting Goods. Respond immediately to Rick's Sporting Goods, located at 211 East Wilshire Ave." Another cop responded "Copy that. En route. Over" The old man shook his head "Bunch of goddam dipshits I tell ya. Can't go a day with internet before they start losing their shit"

Erin then piped up and asked the man "So... what did you hear about this being a terror attack?" Schloss responded "They're sendin in the Feds apparently. Somebody blew up a substation about 17 miles out of town near McKenzie. Whole transformer lit up like a Christmas tree out there! haha! But yeah, they mention DHS, that means they saying it's terrorism. Lord knows they've got cameras all over that place. I'm sure they got a pretty good look at whoever done it."

At that moment a bell began to ring, not from a phone, but an old fashioned bell, it was located at the top of one of Schloss' reels. He rushed over and grabbed the reel and began to pull back as the rod began to arc. "Wooooo! These walleye hit hard! You wanna reel it in kid?" he said, looking back at us. We all sat silent, none of us had ever fished before. "I will!" Erin said as she began to jog towards him. Schloss gave her the rod, and instructed her on how to use it. She got the hang of it quickly, and you could tell she was having a moment she should've had with a father. Her face lit up. "Go on now! Bring er in!" The old man shouted. "Hey you! Stretch!" Schloss said to Guy, "grab my net out of the bed!" Guy brought the net over, and we could see the white of the fish just below the surface, coming closer and closer to the shore. "You're gonna net it stretch!" The old man shouted. The water splashed violently as the fish came closer to shore, and Guy got under it with the net. "Yes!" Erin exclaimed. The old man brought a white 5 gallon pail, filled it with water quickly, and plopped the fish into it. We all looked at the fish in the pail, it's beautiful irrididescent body gleaming in the light. "What else do ya need?" the old man repeated again. "not much" I said. "Not much"

[strandedglitch]

Hello world, it's me Kylie

date:08/5/2023

This is my first entry....I dont really know how to explain my situation, I dont even know what I am supposed to write...hell that is a lot of I dont knows.

I could be speaking into the void and writing this will go in vain but I guess this is my weird way of coping? Either way the comforting glow of this screen as I type is my only friend at the moment.

To start from the beginning, Gosh...I feel crazy just typing this but...I was doing some exploration in the state of New Mexico, It was a nice summer...Fairly hot and dry. To be expected of course coming from this arid region of the United States, I just graduated from college with my degree in Computer science and I just wanted to let loose and go on a cross country drive from Massachusetts to California, I just wanted to treat myself for all the hard work I put into my bachelors degree, Im young and for the first time in forever My face was looking at other things rather than staring for hours on end at standarized tests, Papers for essays and the eye straining computer screens.

I made a small detour stop in New Mexico...Now youre probably wondering Why New Mexico? Well..Im a bit of a nerd and thought of checking out some historic sites, Including that of an old nuclear test site which I will not disclose the name of. Now..This place is radioactive...well atleast a little bit...Not too bad atleast I thought...I went a bit further than what was legally allowed , equipped with my backpack which only had my laptop, charger, a bag of chips and some candy, These are my essentials I dont care what anyone says.

well..I got to see some cool glass looking objects imbedded in the white sand, it must of been formed from all the heat from the nuclear explosions...However something felt odd...Off I would say. My head felt like it spun and for a moment.. I felt the ground under my feet suddenly disappear, You ever have those dreams of fall and then you just wake up? It was like that.

Ive decided that perhaps it was being exposed to free radicals mixed in with the aweful sweltering heat..My immediate thought was to go back, Pretend I never went any further than what I was supposed to...treading back clad in shorts and a t shirt, the sun now was highest in the sky my lips were beginning to chap and my Somewhat bronze skintone was tinted with red sunburn.

when I got back to what I knew was the spot of the historic marker I parked infront, I was shocked and dismayed my car was nowhere in sight, I could almost feel my heart sink to my lower stomach about to burst out of my very being at any moment. Someone must have stolen my car, that was the only plausible explanation.

I was stranded, alone and In a god damn desert. I began to walk amoungst the long stretch of road hoping and praying to whatever god may be out there for someone to give me a ride out of this place. I wasnt prepared to die, I was only 23 years old. God,I know Ive been a peice of shit sometime in my life but ya gotta give me a break. It was about an hour or two before I saw a old dark red sports car speeding down the road distorted by that classic heat mirage that distorts the air above any tar road.

Oh damn, Maybe there is a god...Perhaps this is my chance time to flag them down, So my dumbass did what anyone would do...I got in the road and waved my hands around hoping a speeding car would stop.

I gulped of what little spit I had left when it got nearer luckily slowing down, Quickly I walked over to the driver side window to be greeted by A dude about mid thirties his skin was tan with a freckle here and there, Wearing a button up brownish red dress shirt with short sleeves, high wasted blue jeans and complimented with a cowboy hat and sunglasses. He looked at me lowering his sunglasses to get what I assume a better look at me as I leaned in from the window. The conversation went something like this.

Me: "Hey uh.. Can you give me a ride to the nearest town, Im out here and well my car got stolen."

The man nodded " I can give ya a ride but the next town is 'bout a 20 minute drive from here"

Me: Thank you, So much your're a life saver. ('God I hope this guy aintsome creep)

"The name is Daniel, By the way...Hop in the passenger seat just be careful of Missy she can bite if handled incorrectly"

I nodded and headed over to the passenger side, Missy? Was this his dog? I didn't see no dog. I opened the car door only to be greeted with a hand gun tucked inbetween the seat and center console of the car. ...Fuck of course he has a gun my luck. Deciding against every alarm going off in my head, I hopped in made myself comfortable in the seat and closed the door. Off we went. The ride was very boring despite the risk that is hitch hiking. He talked about having a horse ranch out east and enjoys riding them on occasion, Even putting them through a competition or two. I said I just graduated college and looking for a job in software engineering or technical support..Just something to make money from.

He looked over at me like I had snakes for hair. " That wasn't a great choice of career, Darlin.' You ain't gonna be making jack shit. Aint nobody round these parts can afford a computer or need one for that matter. Whatever fancy place you hail from, best go back cause there aint much out here to help you with that."

I was mind boggled, Was this guy for real? Everyone has a computer, phone or other internet connecting device. Even if the area was on a tight budget enough, Offices and schools still had systems. What was he thinking?

It would be another 10 minutes before a town appeared in the distance, I took a breath of relief as I leaned back in this leather seat. We passed a sign I didnt bother reading, The only thing on my mind was food and air conditioning.

Hah.... Well...I thought everything would be great..I'd go to the police give them the description of my car, plate number and everything would be fine and dandy right? Wrong...Dead wrong..You see At first I didnt think anything was off...some people drive old cars but Not an entire town dedicated to it, Maybe there was a car show? That wouldve been the case if everyone including the buildings were also dressed in quite vintage styles.Big hairdos, bell bottoms, Colorful clothing, Old fashioned cars. I felt like I was dreaming, Maybe I passed out in the field of heat exhaustion? No...This was all too real.

Daniel pulled over and wished me luck on getting my car back, handing me a 10 dollar bill, Tipped his hat and drove off. The first thing I did was go into the munincipal building to talk to someone who could point me in the right directions, I hit a bell at the help desk, taking a notice of the lack of computer equipment in the office and a calander on the wall. It was secured there with a red tac and it read August 5th 1970. There was the feeling again, My head spun faster than a damn fidget spinner. I was on the floor after that, everything went dark.

Long long story short..Im in a hotel room after convincing ambulance drivers to leave me alone and that Im fine, They gave me a cold bottle of water, allowed me to sign release for denying medical treatment. Lets just say...They looked suspicious when I asked the date.The full date..It was the same date as the calender...Shit. Im still trying to wrap my head around this...I somehow ended up in the fucking 70's because I walked a little too far from a damn historic marker, excuse my language. My theory is some kind of weird woowoo science stuff must of happened at that sight there and they didnt want us normal people going there cause they knew there could of been these time portals...Or alien...theres always aliens involved in these consiracy theories right? Eh...Im not too much of a conspiracy theorist anyways....All I know is some weird shit is going on.

Ill get back to you with how Im doing, Hopefully I can figure things out.

Logging off:

Yours, Kylie

[beautyindisguise00]

WHAT’S THE BIGGEST SURPRISE YOU’VE EVER HAD?

Friday night October 16 2020 @5:50pm

1. WHERE ARE YOU FROM? Wisconsin

2. WHERE DO YOU LIVE AND FOR HOW LONG? i’ve been in wisconsin my whole life of 24 years. lived in my hometown all the way til i moved to college. after i finished college i decided to stay in the town i went to college in for work purposes

3. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT WHERE YOU LIVE? the different options around town of where to shop, eat, and other fun things to do

4. WHAT DID YOU LOVE THE MOST ABOUT THE TOWN YOU GREW UP IN? the lake. i love the fact that the lake was only a 5 minute drive and i was able to go there whenever i wanted. but also, the memories of the town.

5. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? not anymore

6. WHAT WAS YOUR 1ST PET’S NAME? thumperlina for my big fat brown bunny

7. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? fall

8. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE? i watch a lot of movies so i dont really have a favorite

9. FAVORITE MOVIE IN THE PAST 5 YEARS? avengers infinity war. avengars endgame, crazy rich asians, knives out, and maleficent 1 and 2

10. WHAT’S A MOVIE THAT YOU LAUGHED THE HARDEST DURING? ouf, i dont remember

11. WHAT’S A MOVIE YOU CRIED THE HARDEST DURING? avengars, crazy rich, and also while you were sleeping but that’s a drama

12. WHAT’S THE BEST-ANIMATED MOVIE EVER CREATED? the good dinosaur

13. FAVORITE TV SHOW? my two all-time favorites are one tree hill and the office

14. FAVORITE TV SHOW THAT IS CURRENTLY ON? chicago pd and fire

15. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE RESTAURANT? olive garden?

16. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? chicken alfredo, really good sushi, fried rice, curry

17. LEAST FAVORITE FOOD? any seafood --> shrimp, oysters, clams

18. WHAT TOPPINGS DO YOU GET ON YOUR PIZZA? pineapple and ham. hahaha yes, im that kind of person

19. FAVORITE BEVERAGE? coffee, strawberry lemondae

20. FAVORITE DESSERT? cheesecake or red velvet cake

21. IS THERE A DESSERT YOU DON’T LIKE? pumpkin pie

22. CAKE OR PIE? cake!

23. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? mackinaw island fudge, mint chocolate chip, strawberry cheesecake

24. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE CONDIMENT? honey mustard

25. WHAT DO YOU GET FOR BRUNCH? crepes with nutella and strawberries

26. IT’S 4 AM ON A SATURDAY NIGHT, WHAT DO YOU EAT? fried noodles with two poached eggs

27. WHAT ONE THING DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR FRIDGE AT ANY GIVEN TIME? eggs

28. WEIRDEST THING YOU’VE EVER EATEN? duck and this one indian thing i dont remember

29. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE BAND? one direction and tenth avenue north

30. FAVORITE SOLO ARTIST? liam payne, harry styles, niall horan, louis tomlinson, zayn malik. hahaha and ed sheeran, halsey, 

31. FAVORITE NONLIVING MUSICIAN? --

32. FAVORITE LYRICS? “and if the whole world was watching, i’d still dance with you” “baby im falling. head over heels. looking for ways to let you know just how i feel”

33. FAVORITE SONG OF ALL TIME? theres no way i could choose

34. FAVORITE ALBUM? again ^^

35. WHAT’S THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? currently singing like to the “while you were sleeping” ost  right now “it’s you” by henry

36. IF YOUR LIFE WERE A SONG WHAT WOULD THE TITLE BE? beauty in disguise 

37. WHAT SONG WOULD YOU PROBABLY BE CAUGHT DANCING ALONE TO? any of my current favorites right now

38. IF YOU COULD SING A DUET WITH SOMEBODY WHO WOULD IT BE? halsey. that would be so cool

39. IF YOU COULD MASTER ONE INSTRUMENT WHAT WOULD IT BE? guitar 

40. WHAT IS YOUR GO-TO KARAOKE SONG? ugh, i hate karaoke 

41. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING OR THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? probably back when i was rereading one of the “to all the boys i’ve loved” trilogy 

42. WHAT’S A BOOK THAT YOU PLAN ON READING? prayer by tim keller. i just ordered it online and it should be coming in on monday

43. WHAT’S A BOOK THAT YOU READ BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE WAS READING IT? twilight series. haha

44. WHAT’S A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT POSITIVELY SHAPED YOU? mhmm...i dont remember. not that it posititive shaped me but the great gatsby was really interesting. also, when i was student teaching, i read number the stars with my kids and it was a great historical fiction book to read

45. WHAT’S A BOOK IN SCHOOL THAT YOU HATED? i didnt hate it, but there was this one book we read in ap lit and as a project, my friends made the movie version of it

46. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE BOOK? to all the boys trilogies 

47. WHAT’S A BOOK YOU WISH YOU HAD WRITTEN? ^^

48. DARK CHOCOLATE OR MILK CHOCOLATE? i like both but if i had to choose, then dark

49. UNDERWATER OR OUTER SPACE? underwater like in a submarine or something were i knew i was safe

50. DOGS OR CATS? dogs for sure

51. KITTENS OR PUPPIES? ohh, puppies of course 

52. DOLPHINS OR KOALAS? dolphins! i really wanted to swim with dolphins when i was in florida but it didnt work out in our schedule 

53. BIRD WATCHING OR WHALE WATCHING? whale watching

54. WHAT IS YOUR SPIRIT ANIMAL? i dont really know. probably a sea otter. haha theyre so chill and they stick around with their peeps 

55. TO BE OR NOT TO BE? aint that the question to be answered

56. IPHONE OR ANDROID? iphone

57. TWITTER OR INSTAGRAM? insta

58. VINE OR SNAPCHAT? snap. i never had a vine but i remember watching a few vines. well i guess tik tok is the new vine now

59. WHO SHOULD EVERYONE BE FOLLOWING RIGHT NOW? Jesus. haha kidding not kidding

60. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE APP? WEBSITE? probably youtube

61. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? psych 

62. WHAT WAS YOUR BEST SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? psych and math 

63. WHAT WAS YOUR WORST SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? ap lit 

64. WHAT SUBJECT WOULD YOU TEACH IN SCHOOL? psych or a lower level math class 

65. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU KNEW IN HIGH SCHOOL? enjoy what you love doing as much as you can

66. WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOURSELF AT 13? girl, be confident. you are beautiful. you are smart. and you are enough. dont worry about what others think and dont worry about the future because i got you. 

67. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′0

68. WHO IS YOUR FASHION ICON? eh, no one really

69. WHAT’S YOU FAVORITE FASHION TREND? well since right now is fall, i really like long cardigan with cute booties 

70. WHAT ARE 3 THINGS YOU ALWAYS HAVE IN YOUR BAG (BESIDES PHONE AND WALLET)? phone charger, hand sanitizer, and a mask. haha oh covid days

71. WHAT IS A CURRENT TREND YOU HOPE DOESN’T EXIST IN 100 HUNDRED YEARS? masks

72. WHAT’S YOUR MUST HAVE FASHION ACCESSORY? eyebrows done? haha my clothing fashion is pretty simple so i dont really have accessories but maybe a watch i guess 

73. HEELS OR FLATS? depends. on a day to day then flats but for special occasions then heels

74. DIAMONDS OR PEARLS? eh, i guess i like both 

75. BLOW-DRY OR AIR-DRY? usually air dry unless i need to be ready asap

76. WHAT COLOR DRESS DID YOU WEAR TO PROM? i didnt really attend my high school dances. my first and last hs dance was homecoming and that was only because i was on the homecoming court. i wore a red strapless dress

77. FAVORITE COCKTAIL? sex on the beach, mimosas, strawberry daiquiris, margaritas 

78. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY ORDER AT STARBUCKS? white chocolate mocha. either hot or iced depending on the weather 

79. COFFEE OR TEA? coffee. i tried to drink more tea but i always resort back to coffee. haha

80. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR COFFEE? i usually make my coffee at home. i just put in a mocha or caramel kcup then add in creamer. some days i’ll add in half and half or some chocolate/caramel syrup

81. WHO IS A PERSON YOU WANT TO HAVE COFFEE WITH? megan markle. odd but why not 

82. WHAT HISTORICAL FIGURE DO YOU WANT TO HAVE COFFEE WITH? general vang pao

83. IF YOU COULD LIVE IN ANY HISTORICAL DECADE, WHAT WOULD IT BE AND WHERE? probably the 90s

84. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE COUNTRY TO VISIT? havent left mine yet. haha

85. WHAT’S THE LAST COUNTRY YOU VISITED? my own. haha

86. WHAT’S A COUNTRY YOU WISH TO VISIT? somewhere in the east. maybe like france or italy or korea or taiwan

87. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE STATE TO VISIT? florida

88. WHAT’S THE LAST STATE YOU VISITED? michigan

89. WHAT’S A STATE YOU WISH TO VISIT? colorado, new york, california 

90. WHAT’S THE BEST VACATION SPOT? bora bora! ouuu someday for me i hope!

91. WHERE DOES ONE GO ON A PERFECT ROAD TRIP? honestly, anywhere. just gather your friends, pack up, stock up, and drive

92. FAVORITE CITY? right now, probably orlando 

93. PILATES OR YOGA? i like both but if i had to choose then yoga

94. JOGGING OR SWIMMING? swimming!

95. FAVORITE WAY TO WORKOUT? ugh, at home

96. LEAST FAVORITE WAY TO WORKOUT? at the gym lifting weight. i always feel so awkward

97. BEST WAY TO DECOMPRESS? shower, then dinner and movie in bed with a glass of wine

98. WHAT’S THE BEST FIRST DATE IDEA? dinner and a drive to a fun spot

99. WHAT’S LOVE? genuine love towards someone regardless of their flaws, always

100. MAJOR TURN ON? neck kisses, vlines, touching

101. MAJOR TURN OFF? bad hygiene, rudeness, cockiness

102. WHAT’S THE WEIRDEST THING A GUY HAS DONE OR SAID TO TRY AND IMPRESS YOU? stalk my facebook and screen shot my old posts and send them to me OR ignoring my non-subtle hints that i have a boyfriend and do not want to hangout alone to “netflix and chill”

103. WHAT’S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT SOMEONE WHEN YOU MEET THEM? their smile and personality and how they made me feel

104. DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? nah

105. BEST GIFT YOU EVER RECEIVED? im not really a big gift person but my mom gave me a micheal kors winter jacket

106. LAST GIFT YOU GAVE A FRIEND? i bought some baby shower gifts to my boyfriend’s brother and sister-in-law’s baby, baby Grace :)

107. BEST GIFT TO GET FOR SOMEONE? like a generic gift? probably wine or a watch depending on the occasion 

108. WHAT’S THE BIGGEST SURPRISE YOU’VE EVER HAD? my boyfriend coming to visit me last christmas because i was so stress out and i thought we were suppose to meet up around christmas but he had his own plans that i was not aware of which then made me even more stress when i found out his plans but overall it was a very nice surprise and definitely helped me destress afterwards

109. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? white

110. LEAST FAVORITE COLOR? probably brown

111. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF FLOWER? i dont think i have one

112. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE COMEDIAN? dont have one either 

113. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE ACTION STAR? chris evans, tom holland

114. BEST SUPERHERO CREATED? captain america

115. IF YOU HAD ONE SUPERPOWER WHAT WOULD IT BE? to teleport 

116. WHAT’S YOUR KRYPTONITE? too much snow. haha

117. BIGGEST PHOBIA? deep waters and heights

118. FAVORITE DISNEY MOVIE? dont have one 

119. FAVORITE DISNEY CHARACTER? ^^

120. FAVORITE HOLIDAY? christmas

121. WHAT’S YOUR BEST HALLOWEEN COSTUME? a dead bride. haha

122. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE PLOT-TWIST? whenever my favorite characters in a tv show gets killed off

123. IF YOU COULD DO A FLASH-MOB WHERE WOULD IT BE? new york, like how cliche and iconic that would be

124. WHAT’S THE COOLEST THING IN YOUR BEDROOM? my pineapple lamp

125. IF YOU GOT A TATTOO WHERE WOULD IT BE? probably on my side or somewhere on my arm

126. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE CURSE WORD? shiiiiiiiiiit

127. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE BOARD GAME? exploding kittens not really a board game but close enough

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

I found this article the FBI popped up on my phone. So i read it, intending to be insulted. Not wanting to post because these types of articles can twist the way we label people so we do it incorrectly

However you can read it and see how a normal person expresses their anger. There's millions of ways. Brian becomes possessive and tells me in a really mad way. Marc Antony (Blue) tells other people Then like shields me So I'm like all comfortable and treated like a baby... In a way... Where as Brian is all its your responsibility to know and understand... Like hes gonna kill people if i make a mistake... Which for me -- they're both the same. But used to Brian would confuse me... But like not in a way i was all the time bothered by it. Like if i was gonna get my period or something and sensitive to words i would be all why you talking to me like that? And i would be all cry baby and he would be all conforming to keeping me comfortable snd sane and telling me he loves me and catering to my emotional well being. Which is what Marc Antony always did... I never got the harsh violent atmosphere possessiveness from him... But Brian does it like hes creating a safe bubble for me... Like Marc Antony (Blue Paul) would before he was murdered in 1991... Brian makes the bubble way fucking closer.

Like I got a 5 foot space and not 15 miles like Marc.

Which is comfortable in itself when you're some one like me.

At first I thought about Agent Orange...

But then I realized it was more about Alex Laughlin. And I felt relieved after reading this. Like yeah it is understood and I'm not like him and I'm not crazy. And he is mean... Of course I wonder why is he so angry? But I think I explained it already yesterday.

And then I feel like I should confess something... To help you all feel relieved... Aside the fact I'm not like the above...

Like I said maybe I shouldn't stop the release of 94 diseases... I wouldn't

But the point is I have tried and i can't do more than I already am. And y'all aint doing shit and that is the fucking fact.

So i make empty threats for yall that have anxiety or just always feel the world crashing in on you or you have depression. I want you to know i do say shit when I'm mad and I don't necessarily mean all the actions i say i can do.

Its the point i can and many need to open their eyes to what i am doing and that i do care and Yall just dont know what i have done Because I don't see the need to brag about it.

But I am oftentimes told I am unfair when I am angry. All I see is unfairness and wrongs and so sometimes I call out every hospital in the world and tell them They're pieces of shit.

And what I mean is. Those photos of them with masks leaving painful marks on their faces is unnecessary and if they listened to my over and over again then they wouldn't feel that pain. At the same time I know the evil in the world and I know the world is under attack and I know they're scared. So if I tell them to remove one evil or potential evil from their lives in a loud dramatic way one time... Then leave the N95 masks to the ER. Duh. They need them. We don't know what is gonns blaze through those doors next.

Sometimes my threats are real. A lot of times. But because im a POW... It is other people whom who have to fulfill them... So in a way they are empty because someone has to get in that threat and force it to be true.

But no one is gonna allow 94 diseases to just go blown out into the world. Unless it has been catered and altered to be safer and have a point behind its deadly threat.

All threats must have a point so yoh can think and evaluate not judge. But think about them and as to why.

77% of alien life were pissed. After i explained the point of the Thedadorian only 7% were still angry. Mostly because the other 70% thought it was jsut for humans. Which it is not. As yall been educated for since December Aliens need to get the fuck off the planet... Those prohibiting will get it.

Now those aliens that are just like thinking about humanity and not understanding fully they're aliens... But also the same time when they get the Thedadorian they have full blown COVID symptoms.

Which adds up to "im fucking serious get the fuck off" and which means they should just give up already... It makes it easier to.

The point I want the survivors that are human to see of my confession especially you babes that take everything hard like I do, the more idle threats or empty threats I make the less they're to be believed. Each one means less.

So Y'all I know. "But one day shes gonna have a big one so no point to put down our guard because she for real is just gonna make every thing bad for everyone"

I know. But you have to get out that good vs bad. Pro vs con sheet you should write out and put on your fridge.

So when you get scared or so overwhelmed you don't understand anything anymore you can look at it.

I stopped tornadoes... As I know for now... There are still minor tornadoes or "dirt devils" because some od the huge windmills for electricity can not lock. They have to be manually tied down which is dangerous or taken down. It is just like a pinwheel you put in your yard if there is a breeze they turn on their own.

So what it means is high dangerous winds like in New Mexico will occur. Im used to them after 14 years of our windmills... But Y'all others may not be.

Remember to use two hands when you drive on your steering wheel so if you get into an open cross wind area then you won't be blown off the road or into another lane or car. Bridges are most dangerous now in Mississippi and Louisiana for this to occur. Two strong steady hands on the wheel that's all babes. Keep it in your lane.

Having your hands prepared to steady your car will prevent over correcting. Which is the major cause of accidents.

My insurance companies will not raise rates during this economical time Allstate and American. Even if you wreck. Nor after the Quarentine is over. They're just overlooked altogether.

Now in areas that are expected to have high dangerous winds suddenly are having "socks" installed

They're often seen at airports.

Its a cone shaped or think Triangle. Or even a fabric traffic cone -- they're all Orange or an orange yellow. And they're on high flagpoles

If they lay limp no wind. If they're flying -- totally "standing" erect.

Its dangerous, there are high winds. The smaller and of the sock tells you which direction

So if the small end is on the right side of the flag pole -- be ready -- the wind will hit you hard on the left side of your car.

Two hands on the wheel. Watch yourself and drivers in front of you. You may not even feel it. But sometimes it will literally push your car. Just keep going if you don't crash. Eyes on the road. Hands at ten and two (look at an analog face clock) and just be strong. You'll be fine and you're as safe as possible

Its new to you but Arizona has had them since the 1970s and I drove in them at 17 years old as a new driver with less than a 2 months old license. So if I can, you can.

And locally we don't have orange socks... We just literally get pushed. Windy days it's just two hands on the wheel... I look ahead and if 3 out of 5 cars are doing a wiggle... I know make I sure i got two hands on the wheel because they got a cross wind and im gonna get it too.

Every day im challanged by tree and others to work and think

So I'll do it to Yall too

Because its healthy

Remove the crap. Go stand by the window and get some sunlight and burn that craps sway and find truth and find a way to accept it.

We're not here to judge tornadoes and cross winds. We have to find truth and accept it

It went on for weeks. Scientists and meteorologists and Power companies. Nothing. Deaf. Blind. And dumb.

It took me. So don't fucking judge me.

Judge someone responsible. Like scientists. Meteorologists and Power companies. All thinking they are innocent. Sitting back and watching MASS DESTRUCTION. And nothing

Fucking simple. Turn off the fucking fans.

I was angry. I am angry.

People got hurt. Lives destroyed.

Some it worked out best for.

However... Their homes and cars.

The fear... Its sad.

[bellamyblak]

no babe, get off this sinking ship, we're not worth rooting for. as much as it sucks i rly hope he doesnt still like me like that bc he's uh, seeing my friend. and i aint a homewrecker!! but tell me more about this italian guy!! while i type up some headcanons to get you through your research

damn thats such a bad situation. im sad for you, you deserve to be happy and i hope you find a guy who loves you and cherish you like u deserve. and honestly i have so much respect for you rn bc i totally get you. i would never do anything to separate two people, let alone two friends of mine. i rather be unhappy and sad than to ever make other people sad just to get my happiness. i would never be able to sleep again. 

I JUST SAW I HAVE LIKE 6 MESSAGES WITH HEADCANONS. i truly love ya. we cant secure man but we sure as hell cherish each other. i love you so much.

i’m going to put this under a read more bc listen i talk to much about him lmao

humm so he and i talk a lot about things we like and how is it back in italy. we started bonding over football bc here in my country, just like in most european countries, football is the main sport and this may seem odd but people here take loyalty to clubs very seriously and we are all very passionate about the sport, so even the professors like to ask their students which club do they support lmao. 

basically to give some context i graduated from college this year, and im doing my masters in the same college, and some of my old professors from my major teach classes in the master. so the first day he’s in class one of the professors asks him which club he likes in italy which he answered juventus, but when asked about the club he felt a connection to in portugal he said my club, the club i support. and the professor who asked him about it likes to go back and forth with me bc we cheer for different clubs which are like the biggest rivals in my country, so he turned to him and said ‘are you saying this bc of alexandra? did she turn you to the dark side in the matter of a few hours’. 

at that point we hadn’t even talked yet but as soon as we had a break (it’s a 2 hour class but bc im having classes at night the professors give like a 10 min break for us to go eat something or just smoke a cigarette) he went to me and we started talking about football (and funny thing is juventus played against my team in the champions league so the past month we been having some banter about it) and we ended up talking about the things he wants to see in portugal and i suggested him some places.

we kept talking the past month between class breaks, and i’ve been helping him with portuguese, he’s so smart and he loves learning the language it’s adorable. he likes to repeat words to learn how to pronounce them.

the other day i got to classes and my bus was full. like there was 70 people inside that bus (idk how buses are in other countries but  here it’s very usual to have this number of people in a bus) and it was so hot i needed to cool off. so my uni is like outside. it’s made of many buildings that arent connected to each other, has a garden, etc., and a wall around the whole uni, but when you step outside a classroom you are outside, you are inside the uni but outside, you aren’t in a hall or anything. 

so i got to my class and i left my bag inside and i said hi to him (he was on his desk) and other people there, but i after a small talk with another girl i had to excuse myself bc i needed to cool off, even tho it was like 14ºC outside, but the classroom was really warm as well. 

so i went outside and 40 secs after i step outside, im leaning against the wall, he comes outside the class and goes straight to me and starts talking to me about just nothing really. i liked it so much tho, bc it felt like he really wanted to talk to me. idk help.

[lil-loucifer]

ONE OF US MUST CHANGE AND IT AINT GONNA BE ME YOU FOOL. Ps 1-100 on the ask away tumblr asks

Hayden you f u c k

1. What have you eaten today?

A shit ton of pizza

2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant?

The most intimate touch I have ever felt was a hug

3. What color shoes did you last wear?

Black. Boots :P

4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week?

Probably my sister??

5. What is your favorite scent?

Freshly baked stuff

6. What is your favorite season? Why?

Winter, because most if not all of my clothes are fucking winter sweaters and coats

And also because I like the cold

7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel?

Nope!!

8. What color are your nails?

Natural?

9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be?

A tiny star near the corner of my right eye, behind the mole so I could just hide it under my hair if I had to

10. What is something you find romantic?

Fucking flowers??? I dunno dude pretty much anything you devote some time and/or effort into doing for someone else in the name of affection?

11. Are you happy?

I dunno tbh

12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad?

For one thing, I did a fucking bomb-ass job on a presentation I had to do in front of a class, even though I couldn’t log into google drive and couldn’t access my fucking notes for the presentation and had to improvise it

13. Dogs or Cats?

Both!!!

15. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library?

A tie between a library and museum, but it depends on the museum. 

15. What is your style?

Scruffy as fuck, with some degree of hipster/punk, but mostly just slobbish.

16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be?

Affording material possessions I want to buy

17. Are you in a relationship or single?

“It’s complicated”

18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now?

Emotional dependence???

Also probably mutual trust and care

19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with?

I don’t think I would??

20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what? 

Certain text conversations and shit my last ex and I had. It didn’t end well between us.

21. How did you celebrate last Halloween?

I stayed home and handed out fuckin candy

22. Have you recently made any big decisions? 

I dunno.

23. Were you ever in a school play?

Nahhh, I’m not a good actor

24. What movie would you use to describe your life?

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

HAVING FRIENDS BUT I CAN’T BECAUSE I HABITUALLY ACT LIKE A HUGE BITCH ALL THE TIME AND AM INTIMIDATED WHENEVER I’M INTRODUCED INTO GROUPS AND YET I’M STILL CLINGY AS SHIT

26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

Video games. I dunno man I just like playing games with people

27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex?

A lot of guys are really gross and shit, and also sexist or alpha male-like. I catch myself exhibiting similar behavior sometimes and hate it

28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

I’m too immature to understand anything

29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week?

Pretty much reached a lvl 2 friendship with someone after we both let it slip that we were bi within three minutes of each other

30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it?

Sad friends

31. How long was your longest relationship?

One business week

32. Have you ever been in love?

You know? I dunno 

33. Are you currently in love?

I think so?

34. Why did your last relationship end?

We were both in really bad mental places and decided to break up so we wouldn’t hurt each other

35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it

I’m not wearing any???

36. When was the last time you cried and why?

I don’t remember when, but it was definitely over feeling super alone

37. Name someone pretty.

Deborah Ann Woll??

38. What did you receive last Valentines Day?

I didn’t do shit last valentine’s day

39. Do you get jealous easily?

Kinda, but I don’t let it fuck up my relationships

40. Have you ever been cheated on?

Maybe?

41. Do you trust your partner/best friend?

Yeah!!

42. Ever had detention?

Kinda? I don’t remember it well but I think I talked my way out of it

43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city?

I don’t know to be honest, probably the city if I could afford it

44. What do people call you? 

LUCIFER, THE DARK LORD OF THE NINE HELLS

45. What was the last book you read? 

The Ship of the Dead, by Rick Riordan

46. How big of a nerd/dork are you? 

Huge, but I don’t look the part. Someone once asked me “Hey, do you watch One Punch Man?” and his other annoying friend hastily whispered “Does he look like he watches One Punch Man?? Don’t annoy him bro” and they never asked again

I was, in fact, fully caught up with the anime at that point

47. What kind of music do you listen to?

All fuckin kinds bruh, mostly punk rock, metal and hip-hop tho

48. How tall are you?

5′10′’ I think??

49. Do you like kids?

Not really

50. Favorite fruits?

Grapes, apple and watermelon

51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

I haven’t owned a pair of sweatpants since I was ten

52. What’s your earliest memory?

I was still really young, maybe two-ish?? Either my sister or my mother--she was female--put me down on the floor in what would become my sister’s room, long before we moved most of her new furniture in and repainted her walls, next to a belt she would keep for the next ten years and an old comb she still has now. It was mid-day. 

53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you?

Nope!

54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind! Photography is fun~

55. Do you have a collection of anything? 

Video games?

56. Do you save money or spend it? 

I suck at saving money ffs

57. What would your dream house be like?

Simple and clean, full of my stuff

58. What top 5 things make you the angriest?

1: Maliciousness

2: Oppression

3: Bothering my crew

4: Bothering me

5: Losing repeatedly in video games

59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face?

1: Things that make me laugh

2: Writing a story easily

3: Pretty much anything to do with you ngl

4: Friends!!

5: Seeing an asshole get what’s coming

60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Y o u r e g o n n a h a t e m e i f I a n s w e r e d h o n e s t l y

61: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

Honestly I’d probably tell everyone I’m dying and face it with open arms

62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Beat

63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

I dunno???

64. Do you like the beach?

I like the aesthetic appeal of the beach?? But I hate water and heat and sand, so... 

65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special?

Never had a chance

66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it!

Mayor

67. Do you talk to yourself?

I think out loud sometimes, but otherwise, no

68. Describe your hair.

Floofy

69. What is the meaning of life.

To find one

70. What is your ideal partner like?

You ;)

But for realsies, someone I can trust and feel comfortable around

71. Do you want to get married?

Not really??

72. Do you want to have kids?

NOT REALLY???

73. Like or dislike your family?

Neutral

74. Are you Chunky or Slim?

Chunky?

75. Would you consider yourself smart? 

No

76. What would you change about your life? 

My drive do do literally anything

77. Religious or Not?

Kinda?

78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

The cop that pulls me over for drunk driving

79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

I dunno man depends on how long I’m alone there

80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

You

81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

Either cuddling or legitimately fighting each other over who changes outfits in Animal Crossing

82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

They are already here

83. Do you like when people play with your hair? 

Yeah, if I let them.

84. Do you like bubble baths?

I dunno, I haven’t ever had one.

85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop?

Nope!

86. Have you ever danced in the rain?

Yeeeaaaah! And I didn’t get sick!

87. Do you trust anyone with your life?

Not really

88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?

As usual, “whhhaat fucking time is it??”

89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week) 

I’m not really into travelling???

90. How was your day today?

Average

91. Play an instrument? 

I suck at anything musical

92. Describe the what you think of the ocean.

Boundless, infinite. Terror beneath. 

93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

Both!!

94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be? 

I can’t really say. I had a goal in mind, and just planned to improvise until I got there, so...

95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side?

Yes and it is my default demeanor for most of the time

96. When are you vulnerable?

...All the time

97. How much free time do you have?

Too much, honestly

98. Do you like to go hiking? 

Hell no

99. Odd or Even Numbers?

Even?

100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities? 

The most extreme thing I’ve done is knife fighting, does that count?