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#head in my hands. literally thee definition of despair
angelsdean · 2 years
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just brightening some screencaps rn and...this image...i am in shambles
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quokkacore · 3 years
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with great power I [lee jeno]
summary: there are two things jeno loves most about his life. one being spiderman, the other being you, his best friend. there’s just one issue: after your father’s death, you decide you hate both spiderman and yourself.
pairing: lee jeno x reader
genre: superhero au, high school au, coming of age, best friends to strangers(ish) to lovers, fluff, ANGST, minor crack
warnings (for this chapter): language, violence, gun violence, the mafia, parental death, police presence, sexual references, bullying (ily san im sorry), the dreamies being dicks to each other, police corruption, towards the end jeno experiences something similar to sensory overload, americanized names, pop culture references, VERY jeno centric
song rec: we go up - nct dream // any song - zico // 21 questions - waterparks // talk (remix feat. megan thee stallion & yo gotti) - khalid // sunrise - ateez // i really like you - carly rae jepsen // dare - gorillaz // stray kids - the tortoise and the hare
word count: 10.5k
a/n: this is so late...... i blame attack on titan. but hey!! better late than never :] a huge thanks to @doderyscoffee​ for beta reading <3
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main masterlist // story masterlist
chapter one: jeno and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week
Jeno despised Tuesdays. He was pretty sure that Tuesdays despised Jeno as well because all of his worst days just so happen to be Tuesdays. He was 96% sure that, if there was a god, his day off was on Tuesdays, or that the planets aligned in such a manner on Tuesdays that it caused universal despair and misery. If he was to take Donghyuck's word for it, his chakra attracted negative energy the most on Tuesdays.
When Jeno was 5, his goldfish Pippin had died on a Tuesday. When he had his ass handed to him on the playground by San Choi in the third grade, it was a Tuesday. And in the seventh grade, he'd failed his Spanish test, missed his bus and walked home in the rain only to find out that his Aunt Sunny was at work, he'd left his keys in his locker and that had to wait an hour before she got home to unlock it for him, all on a Tuesday. 
And wouldn't you know it, here he was, late for the first day of senior year, which was, of all days, a godforsaken Tuesday.
In his eternal wisdom, he'd stayed up gaming with Renjun until two in the morning, and because of it, slept through his three alarms, one set at six-thirty, the other at 6:45, the last one at 7:00. 
He'd woken up at 7:17, to the sound of his elderly neighbor's pet chihuahua barking at a pigeon, checked the time, immediately panicked, sped into the shower, gotten dressed in a haste, grabbed a few granola bars from the pantry, and ran out the door while trying to jam his backpack closed, and managed to catch the train at 7:40, which took about twenty minutes to get to his stop, plus a ten-minute walk to school, and class started at 8:10. Not to mention he’d have to stop by the office and pick up his schedule. At best, he’d be five minutes late to his first class. But tardies were tardies, regardless, and the last thing he needed was to lose his perfect attendance streak. 
He fished out his phone while standing on the train, waiting for his stop, scrolling through Instagram, and liking random pictures. A ping! from his phone caught his attention, then two, then a third. He smiled softly when your name popped up on his screen.
[7:48 AM]
y/n: pssst
y/n: shithead
y/n: where r u ????
[7:49 AM] 
y/n: i can sEE u online on ig u know
jeno: …… i'm on the train
jeno: woke up late
y/n: YOURE GONNA BE LATR
y/n: LATE*
y/n: ON THE FIRST DAY OF SENIOR YEAR
[7:50]
jeno: probably, yeah
jeno: it's the school district's fault, why would they make the first day of school on a fkn TUESDAY 
y/n: ohhh yeahh its terrible tuesday
y/n: [sent an attachment!]
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[7:51 AM]
jeno: SHUT UP
jeno: you're not funny >:(
jeno: how dare you laugh at my misfortune
y/n: au contraire im hilarious
jeno: meanie :(
jeno: im gonna be late i hate it here
jeno: it'll end up on my permanent record and i'm not gonna get into college and then i'm gonna die,,,
[7:52 AM] 
y/n: sometimes ur worse than hyuck i swear 
y/n: FIRST OF ALL permanent records dont even exist !!!!!! its propaganda duh
y/n: also ur literally never late 
y/n: im sure o n e tardy wont do anything chill
y/n: dont be stupid youll be fine
Don’t be stupid. Too little, too late, he thought, already having got off the train at a previous stop. Now, he was looking for an unoccupied street or alleyway, which, for once, was easy, taking a deep breath before he did the exact opposite of what you’d told him not to do. Don’t be stupid. 
The buildings are low, he thought to himself, it’ll be easier to see me. 
Don’t be stupid.
Too late!
Thwip!
Jeno didn’t hesitate to use the web fluid to pull himself up onto the wall, climbing in a haste, before running and jumping onto the next building. He quickly built up a quick pace, using the web fluid occasionally to swing onto a building slightly out of jumping range. 
Signs in English, Chinese, Korean, and Spanish flew past him as he seemingly flew over the Queens traffic, leaving Flushing behind and crossing quickly into College Point quicker than he would if he took the train. He glanced to his left and caught a view of the bay, and far across it, the LaGuardia airport watchtower.
Jeno had lived in New York City his entire life. He knew Queens like the back of his hand, knew every dingy alleyway, every sketchy street, which restaurants to avoid if you didn’t want to get food poisoning, which convenience store aunties were the nicest and didn’t pinch his cheeks too hard. It was his home, and most likely would be for the rest of his life. 
But seeing it like this, flying past him below as he glided with ease from building to building would never cease to be a sight to him. It was like watching from the perspective of an outsider, seeing people in their cars, walking along the street gave him a brand new perspective. A Jeno’s eye view, he called it, since he was pretty sure he was the only one in New York City.
Another noise from his phone brought him back to reality. He shook his head, stopping briefly to catch his breath and fish out his phone briefly. 
[7:57 AM] 
y/n: let me know when u get here !!!
No time to respond, he put away the phone and continued his trek to school. He had less than ten minutes to get there. But he knew he was already at least five minutes away, much quicker than he would be if he had decided to stick to the train. He smiled a bit to himself, feeling ever so slightly smug.
The hustle and bustle of the city definitely proved challenging to find a place to land without many eyes, but he figured it out eventually, landing behind a dumpster in an alleyway behind a restaurant that he knew was about three or four blocks from the school. He figured it would be a lot better to take it on foot from here. The notebooks he was carrying in his backpack bounced up and down with every step he took. 
After what seemed like forever, the gates to the school appeared in his view, and Jeno felt a joy in his heaving chest, something he would have never thought would happen upon seeing the absolute hellhole that was Samuel Morse High School. 
[8:06 AM]
jeno: just did >:D
Picking up his schedule was both quick and insanely long. He couldn’t stop himself from tapping his left foot while the secretary found his schedule and handed it to him. “Kibum, please hurry,” He muttered, and Kibum raised an eyebrow at him, but his gaze was teasing. “That’s Mr. Kim to you, in school at least.” 
He handed Jeno his schedule a few seconds later. “Tell your Aunt to come pick up her casserole dish, by the way. She left it at my house after my last viewing party.”
“The Bachelor?”
“Please. We’re too classy for that. Drag Race.”
“Ah. I see.”
“Jeno,” Kibum said, staring up at him from his desk, his gaze now much more serious, “Get to class. Happy first day of senior year.”
“Thanks, Mr. Kim.”
He managed to make it to chemistry class at 8:09 with seconds to spare. His eyes quickly scanned the room upon entering, hoping his friends were in the class with him. He caught a few familiar faces, most of which, like San Choi's, he wished to avoid. No one paid him any mind. Everyone was still speaking to the people next to them, no doubt exchanging stories of summer vacation. 
  A hand shot up towards the back, waving at him. A smile stretched across his face as he registered your face, feet not hesitating to carry him towards the empty seat next to you. His heart skipped a beat at seeing your smile, and he tried his best to ignore it.
“Hey,” You greeted, “That was fast. I thought you said you were gonna be late.”
Jeno shrugged, eyes landing on the dark shade of the lab table. “The train was a lot faster than I expected, apparently.”
You wrinkled your nose. “Why do you smell so bad?”
“I, uh… ran a little.” 
You grimaced, and Jeno tried to casually sniff at his slightly sweaty clothes. It’s not that bad. “I still don’t understand why you won’t let me drive you to school. You’re literally next door.”
“I don’t know,” He answered, rolling his eyes, “Maybe it’s because when it comes to that truck, you are absolutely insane. You won’t even let me drink water in that thing.”
The truck in question, a faded red 1998 Chevrolet S-10, had been your gift to yourself for your 17th birthday. You’d spent two summers saving up to buy yourself a truck, and that was what you were able to get for what you had. To say it was a huge piece of junk on wheels was an understatement. 
The thing smelled like mothballs no matter how many air fresheners you bought it, the engine sounded like an old man having a coughing fit, and there was a very suspicious stain in the backseat that wouldn’t go away no matter how many times you scrubbed it. But for some reason, you treated it like it was your own baby. The amount of times you’d yelled at Jaemin for trying to put his feet on the dashboard was too high to count.
You mirrored his movement, eyes rolling as you sighed. “At least let me drive you home after school today. Maybe you can stay and we can finally watch Blade Runner.”
You’d been trying to get him to watch the film for almost a month now, begging and pleading because you insisted that he’d love it. He offered an awkward stare, before opening his backpack and pulling out a notebook. “Can’t,” He mumbled, “I’m headed into Manhattan. I have my internship afterwards.”
“Oh, yeah,” You said nonchalantly, eyebrows shooting up as you remembered, “Park Industries.” 
He was about to reply when Mrs. Baker, the chemistry teacher, finally entered. She’d been working at SMHS for 30 years and had never, apparently, been nice, if his Aunt Sunny’s stories were anything to go by. However, she had apparently always spoken as if she smoked two packs a day. She was rambling about the importance of making the most of senior year academically, adult responsibilities, college, and whatnot. You and Jeno exchanged glances often throughout the monologue, hoping it would end soon. 
“Enough of that,” She said after what seemed like an eternity, “Everyone quiet down, I’m going to call roll.”
Names were quickly called, and Jeno was ready to pull out a pencil and start working with you until Mrs Baker demanded a switch in seats, beginning to call on random names in an effort to deter everyone from speaking. 
"Please not with Choi, please not with Choi," Jeno muttered under his breath, glancing warily at San, who was staring ahead, looking bored. 
San had had it out for Jeno ever since day one, in first grade. For some reason, everything Jeno did seemed to annoy the other boy. He wasn't funny enough, or too nerdy, or too quiet. Jeno was always too much or too little for him. 
You touched his forearm, and he looked towards you. 
“You’ll be fine,” You said softly, trying not to alert the teacher, “You’re not gonna get paired up with him, and you can take it to the office if you need to.” “Yeah, because I’m sure Coach Peralta would be thrilled if someone tried to get his precious midfielder in trouble.”
“Choi, San,” Mrs Baker’s voice rang throughout the room, and Jeno braced himself for the worst, eyebrows furrowing with worry. 
“You’ll be sitting with… L/N, Y/N.” 
Jeno’s shoulders slumped, but your face remained impassive. You picked up your stuff, and pouted silently at Jeno in apology, before making your way to the front. 
“Lee, Jeno,” Mrs Baker called a few minutes later, “You’ll be sitting with Jang, Yeeun.”
He breathed out a sigh of relief. Yeeun is nice, Jeno thought to himself, I could sit with Yeeun. She wasn’t part of his main friend group, but he had tutored her in math during sophomore year in exchange for her helping him with Spanish, and they’d been pretty friendly ever since. 
“Hey,” Yeeun greeted as Jeno sat down, and Jeno smiled at her. 
“Remember, these will be your assigned lab partners for the rest of the semester. No changes, no exceptions.” Mrs. Baker sat down at her desk, before beginning to talk about something Jeno didn’t really pay attention to.
You exchanged glances with Jeno, and he gave you a look of sympathy as you gestured at San with your eyes. San was talking to you about something—probably bragging about some soccer achievement—but you weren’t paying him much attention. Jeno swallowed something growing in his throat as he looked at how your hair looked today. 
It was nothing relatively new, the same hairstyle you used on most days. But still, there was a bit of a shine to it. He wondered vaguely if you had changed your shampoo, the other day you’d been complaining about how itchy your normal shampoo made your scalp—
“You still haven’t told her about how you feel?” Yeeun asked quietly, and Jeno’s head snapped back to look at her, eyes wide.
“W-what? Me. Like Y/N…” He laughed nervously, trying to keep his voice down. He scratched the back of his head, avoiding Yeeun’s accusatory stare. “You’re hilarious, Yeeun. Tell another one.”
Yeeun shook her head. “You’d better hurry before someone else snatches her up, Jen. She’s not gonna wait around for you forever.”
 “I don’t like her, Yeeun.” 
“Keep telling yourself that.”
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“Hey! Jeno Lee!”
“Hey! Jaemin Na! What do you want!” Jeno answered as he sat down, mimicking Jaemin’s tone next to him.
“Well, for starters, a million dollars, and second, a date with Yiren Wang, but I doubt you can help me with either of those, so...”
Jeno glanced at the rest of the table. Along with Jaemin, Mark,  Renjun, Donghyuck, and you were watching the interaction between the pair. “Where are the munchkins?” Jeno asked, noticing Chenle and Jisung’s absence. No one could really call them munchkins anymore. That nickname dated back to middle school, before the two underclassmen had gone through growth spurts.
“Eh, they should be here soon,” Renjun said, chewing on a french fry, “How’s your day been?”
“Pretty good so far, I guess. I got AP Calc with Mr. Washington later, though. That man wants me dead.”
You rolled your eyes. “He doesn’t want you dead. I’m telling you, you and Hyuck have been spending way too much time together. You’re being more dramatic than usual and Hyuck’s being more… weird than usual.”
“And just what is so weird about being enthusiastic about senior year, Y/N?” Donghyuck asked, shaking his head, “It’s our last year in this hellhole, I’m excited that we’re finally getting out of here. And besides—”
“Please don’t bring up the fact that you’re abandoning us next year.” Chenle seemingly appeared out of nowhere, sitting next to Renjun, Jisung following quickly behind him.
“Hi, Sungie,” You said with a smile, and Jisung smiled back. “Hi, Y/N.”
“What were you saying, Hyuck?” Jaemin looked at Donghyuck, who had taken the quick interaction as an opportunity to take a bite of his sandwich. His wide eyes darted to the slim boy, cheeks stuffed with chicken. 
“Oh,” He replied after swallowing, “This is gonna be my year. I’m getting male lead for the winter musical and no one is gonna stop me.”
“Do you even know what musical you guys are doing yet?” Mark asked, “What if it’s like… Shrek?”
Jisung made a face. “There’s a Shrek musical?”
Mark nodded, and Renjun laughed.
“I don’t know about male lead, if it’s Shrek. You should try out for Donkey,” The Chinese boy joked, “With those front teeth, you’re a shoo-in.”
The entire table was silent for a moment, before snorts and chortles started pouring out from everyone except Donghyuck.
“Fuck you, Huang.” 
Renjun flashed the friendliest smile he could muster. “Not if you paid me a million dollars.”
The subject remained on extracurriculars, everyone in your group except for Chenle and Jisung now wary of college applications. Donghyuck had been in theater ever since middle school, Renjun was in the robotics club and the debate team with Jaemin, who was also in the student council. Mark was on the math team with Jeno, and you had founded the film club. 
"You're not gonna believe who asked to sign up for film," You huffed, looking kind of confused. The rest of the table looked at you expectantly, and you pursed your lips, almost as if you were trying not to laugh.
"San Choi."
Renjun scoffed. Jaemin raised his eyebrows before letting out a single, humorless laugh. Jeno made a face, poking his plastic fork at you. 
"What is San Choi doing asking to sign up for film?"
"Fuck if I know. He said he needed one more extracurricular if he wanted to get into some college in Florida and he liked going to the movies, so he wanted to try out film."
Mark rolled his eyes. "I swear there's nothing in that guy's head but hot gas. It blows my mind."
"He's a dick," Chenle grumbled, "I'm still not over how he and Wooyoung taped Jisung to the flagpole last year."
Jisung scowled. "I thought we agreed to never bring that up again."
“Do you think they’ll finally calm the fuck down this year?” Jaemin wondered, looking wistful.
You took a sip of your coke and shook your head. “Doubt it. They’re not the hateful eight for a reason.”
The mood at the table turned tense, until Jaemin frowned at his french fries, before sighing and clapping his hands together dramatically. “I would like to hear,” He mused, “About the nuance that theatre gives the cinematic masterpiece that is Shrek when converted into musical form.”
Donghyuck beamed. “Oh, it’s amazing. You see…”
If it was difficult to get Donghyuck to stop talking in general, it was impossible when it was about theater.
The conversation continued on until the bell rang, and the eight of you had to go your separate ways. Jaemin and Jeno had the same class, so they both walked together down a relatively calm hallway. Jaemin looked both ways, before finally lowering his voice. 
“So, you’re going to see Mr. Park today?”
Jeno nodded, looking down at his shoes. “He said he wanted to give me an assignment. Says there’s something big going on.”
Jaemin’s eyes lit up with curiosity. “Did he say what kind of something?” 
Jeno shook his head, pouting slightly. “I’ll let you know tomorrow.” 
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Once school was out, Jeno was getting ready to get onto the subway once again, this time heading towards Midtown. It was only day one and, as Jeno had predicted, Mr. Washington probably was out to get him, because he’d swamped the class with homework.
As he left the school, he spotted you in the parking lot, leaning against your car door, texting someone. He glanced at his phone. He still had plenty of time, he figured. He walked over to you, and when you looked up, you smiled. 
“Hey!” Your voice had that signature tone of enthusiasm to it, and Jeno smiled back immediately. 
“Hello,” He sing-songed. “So, I was thinking… are you free on Friday night?”
You looked somewhere above his head, furrowing your eyebrows before you perked up again and nodded. “Yep! Why?”
“I’m free after nine. Maybe then I could come over to your house? So I can finally get you to stop harassing me about Blade Runner.”
You grinned, pumping your fists enthusiastically. “Hell yes,” You answered, “Do you want me to get like, some frozen pizzas or something?” 
“Pizza sounds good,” He said. “Who are you even waiting for?” 
You made a face that made it seem as if you’d just gotten a whiff of rotten milk. “Well—”
Your response was interrupted when the school doors slammed open, and eight figures poured out, carrying themselves with confidence Jeno both envied and despised. He frowned, trying not to react at their loud whooping and laughing. The Hateful Eight.
“Oh.” Jeno averted his gaze, meeting your eyes again.
“Yeah. If you don’t hear from me later it’s because I jumped out of my truck because I don’t wanna work with—”
“Well, hello, gorgeous!” San’s voice filled the parking lot, and Jeno took a deep breath. Your mouth stretched into a tight-lipped smile at the unwanted ‘compliment’. 
“Hey, San.” Your friendly passive aggressive tone almost made Jeno smile. “I’ve been waiting here for like, fifteen minutes. You could have just given me your number and asked me to send you pictures of my notes, you know.”
He shrugged, turning his body so that his back was turned to Jeno. “Sorry, babe. Coach wanted to talk to us about the upcoming season. When he gets going, it’s hard to get him to stop. And besides, where’s the fun in just asking for pictures when I could come here, talk to you, and take the pictures myself?”
You didn’t respond, but rather pulled out your backpack and began digging through it. When you pulled out your notebook, you handed it to San, who flashed a wink at you. You barely held back a gag. 
“Thanks, Y/N. I’ll just be a minute.” 
He walked over to the hood of your truck, and just as you were about to continue your conversation, two figures slung their arms around both of Jeno’s shoulders, causing him to flinch. 
Out of the fifteen soccer players on the team, San and his best friends—seven of them, to be precise—were the worst. The others were pretty nice. But right now, seeing two of those seven surround your best friend made you uneasy. 
Wooyoung was loud. He was also a temperamental brat. His dad owned three used car dealerships over in Brooklyn, so naturally, he thought he owned the entire world. He wasn’t someone who would get too physical in fights, like San, or Jongho, or Yeosang. But when he was angry, he could easily get you to jump into the stratosphere by yelling at you once. Over the years, he’d made several teaching assistants and substitute teachers cry, only getting let off with a slap on the wrist every time. 
 Yunho was terrifying for completely different reasons. He was friendly, but a little too friendly to the people he wanted to control. He could read people like books and could easily manipulate whoever he wanted. But he wasn’t afraid of getting physical either, especially not when he was built like a goddamn Power Rangers Megazord. 
All in all, they definitely weren't anyone you wanted near you, near your friends. Especially considering how much they had it out for your friends. 
"Hey, buddy," Yunho said, looking down at Jeno with a wide smile. "How was summer vacation?"
Jeno gnawed on the side of his cheek as he considered his answer. "Um, it was okay." He looked at you to catch your eyes darting between San, Yunho and Wooyoung, like you were analyzing the situation. "I kinda stayed in and played video games most of the t—"
"Cool, cool," Yunho answered, carding his free hand through his bleach blond hair. "What about you, Woo?"
"Oh, dude, it was so cool," He bragged, "I went to Brazil for like, a month. I went clubbing with Instagram models and shit, it was wild."
You stared at him as he patted Jeno on the back rather aggressively. "Where did you go? Have you ever even left New York?" 
You knew the answer. Only a few times when the debate team went to compete in different states. Jeno spoke up again. "Well, yeah a few t—"
"Doubt it," Yunho scoffed. He craned his head back. "San, you done yet?"
"Almost!" San answered. Yunho turned to face you, and for some reason his smile seemed genuinely kind. “What about you, Y/N?”
You never understood why it was that the soccer team hated your entire friend group, but seemed to tolerate you. It made no sense.
So you shrugged. “Not a lot, I guess. Did my summer reading. Hung out with my friends.” You flashed a reassuring smile at Jeno. “Right, Jen?”
Immediately, he relaxed a little bit. “Yeah.”
San appeared from behind Yunho, Jeno and Wooyoung. “Thanks, Y/N. I owe you one.”
You waved your hand, wanting them to get rid of them quickly. “Don’t mention it. But next time, just text me for my notes. I have to get to work, so…”
“Oh! My bad,” He answered with fake remorse, before unlocking his phone and handing it over to you. “Here. For next time.”
You stifled a deep sigh, punching in the numbers hesitantly. “Just for homework, got it?”
San took his phone back, holding a hand over his heart and raised his head. “On a gentleman's honor,” He declared, and you bit back a laugh. Jeno looked like he was going to hurl.
“San!” The team captain—Hongjoong—called from a few feet away, “Are you guys done yet or what?”
“Coming!” San yelled back.
“Alright, we’ll let you go,” Wooyoung said, patting Jeno on the back again, a bit too harsh for comfort. “Bye, Y/N! See you around.”
 The three of them stalked off, leaving you and a very frazzled Jeno. “Dicks,” You muttered once they were out of earshot. “You good?”
Jeno shook his head, waving his hand dismissively. “I’ll be fine.”
You tilted your head, frowning. “Jeno—”
“I gotta go,” He said quickly. “I’ll see you later?”
You nodded, offering a lopsided smile. “Yeah. Be careful!” 
Jeno offered a deep bow, fluttering his eyelashes. “On a gentleman’s honor,” He sighed, adding a very bad British accent to it. You burst out laughing, eyes squeezing shut.
You didn’t catch the way Jeno’s shoulders relaxed at the sound.
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I want you to know now
Baby, it could go down
I don’t wanna talk about it
Baby, let’s just go now
The train ride into Midtown didn’t take too long. He spent it digging through his backpack for his Park Industries lanyard, listening to music and thinking about you.
When you talk right to me 
You gon’ have to do me
Every time you think you’re leaving 
You running back to me
You’d met Jeno when you were six. Truth be told, he didn’t really remember. For him it was like you weren’t there at one point and by the time you were, you were thicker than thieves. It was a difficult time for him. He had just lost both of his parents, and was moving in with his Aunt Sunny and his Uncle Jinki, who were barely out of college at the time. He’d had to move to a new school and basically restart his entire life. You were the first sense of stability in his life for months. 
Your mom lived next to his aunt and uncle. So naturally, you went to the same school and went on the same bus. And somewhere along the way, you two clicked. You’d introduced him to Renjun, Jaemin and Donghyuck. You were there to comfort him whenever he got pushed off the slide by San or Wooyoung. 
He was there for you when your stepdad and stepbrother moved in when you were nine and you weren’t sure how to deal with it. He was there when your mom died when you were thirteen. He’d introduced you and your friends to Mark, Chenle and Jisung. 
And you were there when his Uncle Jinki got killed when he was fifteen. And because fate had an especially cruel sense of irony, it had happened on a Tuesday. You didn’t know, but at the time, he had just gotten his powers. Your comfort and words unknowingly had a secondary effect: he made the decision to use them for good, and… well. The rest was history. 
Can we just talk? Can we just talk?
Talk about where we're goin'
Before we get lost, lend me your thoughts
Can't get what we want without knowin'
Just like when he met you, he didn’t recall an exact moment where he realized he’d fallen in love with you. He knew there was a world where he loved you, but wasn’t in love with you. And he knew that there was a world here he’d fallen in love with you—he was living in that world now. He realized he was living in that world maybe when he was sixteen, and had been stuck in it ever since. 
You were it for him. He’d had crushes before. But never something like this, where he was so aware of your presence around him. It wasn’t the way he was hyper aware of someone like San, or like Yunho or Jongho. It wasn’t out of anxiety or fear, where a shift in mood activated his fight or flight. He was aware of you in a way that only people who truly know each other do, where he could pick up on subtle changes in your behavior, but not out of fear. Rather, out of a desire to take care of you and to not have you worry about anything. 
I've never felt like this before
I apologize if I'm movin' too far
Can we just talk? Can we just talk?
Figure out where we're goin'...
As the train rolled into the station that was a fifteen minute walk from Park Tower, Jeno put away his headphones and took a deep breath.
The “Jeno Tingle” as his Aunt Sunny called it—Jeno hated the term—had taken him a few years to gain control of. And while he could never truly turn it off, he could at least tune it out enough to be more at ease. The only time he did so was at school or when he was studying, just because he wanted to feel normal, and because being aware of everything going on around him really messed with his concentration. 
Jaemin didn’t understand. “If I was able to tell whenever Seonghwa was behind me because he wanted to scare me into doing his chemistry homework, I’d never turn that shit off,” He’d said once. But truthfully, Jeno didn’t really care. Because while yes, he was still slightly scared of the “hateful eight”, he knew damn well that if things got to be too much, he could kick their asses if he wanted to. 
It was his friends he worried about. He couldn’t be around them 24/7. You, not so much. He knew you knew how to fight. Even worse, he knew that San had the hots for you so you were off limits to the rest of them, be it bullying or flirting. But for everyone else… Well. He couldn’t hover over them like some guardian angel. 
Now that the “Jeno Tingle” was on, it allowed him to sense everyone within a certain range around him. He could zero in on certain sounds with ease, and his reflexes became heightened. Halfway on his walk up Park Avenue, he jumped away from a chihuahua on its leash a second before it started barking at him.
When he entered the first floor lobby of the Park Building, he scoured the crowd of employees and visitors until he landed on one familiar face. 
He'd met Doyoung about a year after his dad started dating your mom. Things between your parents were starting to get serious, and Doyoung was four years older than you were. When they moved into your house, Doyoung as your new stepbrother became the de facto chaperone and babysitter. If you wanted to go to the mall with Jeno, he had to take you. Every time you dragged Jeno to the movies, Doyoung had to go also. 
To an extent, it wasn't that bad. Doyoung was cool, and he was smart—he was the one who got Jeno interested in computers and chemistry. He graduated high school at 16, and finished his bachelor's degree at 19. He'd also interned at Park Industries, and secured a job there almost immediately after college. 
To an extent, he was the whole reason Mr. Park knew who he was, because of one incident. It was relatively soon after he started the whole vigilante thing. Jeno, still figuring out how to maneuver on the webs that shot out of his wrists, had accidentally crashed into your backyard late at night, when only Doyoung was awake. He was standing in the back door while he was waiting for his dog to finish peeing. 
Initially, the older boy had freaked out, thinking that it was a burglar or something. When he yelled out that his dad was a cop and was asleep in the house, Jeno panicked, and pulled off his mask, holding up his hands.
“Woah, woahwoahwoah! Doyoung! It’s me, it’s me!” 
Doyoung’s eyes had widened to the size of saucers, paying no mind to the dog as it sauntered up to Jeno, before turning onto its back in a request for belly rubs.
"You're the spider guy everyone's been talking about!?"
"Spider man," Jeno had answered, voice cracking as he dusted himself off. He cringed at the sound of his voice. "...and yes."
Of course, his cover was blown, and he'd begged Doyoung not to tell anyone, especially not you. And while Doyoung had promised not to tell you, it didn't stop him from telling his boss. 
That had been almost three years ago now. The rest was history, and after that Jeno didn’t have to run around in bright red sweatpants and dollar store swimming goggles. Now, he had a nanotech suit that allowed him to activate protocols of the suit through voice commands using something top-secret Mr. Park called D.R.E.A.M technology. Direct Response Engaged As Machine—yeah, Jeno didn’t get it either. 
Doyoung offered Jeno a smile as he escorted Jeno past security, showing them his employee clearance pass. "Hey. How have you been?"
Jeno shrugged, recounting his day in minor detail as he was led into an elevator labeled authorized personnel only. 
This elevator only went up to the 35th floor, seeing as everything past that was only cleared for a certain list of people approved by Mr. Park and his security team, and everything past the 90th floor were Mr. Park's private living quarters. 
Now, as Doyoung led him to another elevator to head up to the 85th floor, which was always where Jeno got to meet with Mr. Park—which wasn't often, maybe once or twice a year—he wondered where he would be if he hadn’t surprised Doyoung that night. He would probably still be using those ugly red sweatpants as part of his disguise.
"How's Y/N?" Doyoung asked. 
"Oh, she seems okay. That guy who hates me keeps coming onto her though. He's a huge douchebag."
Doyoung frowned. "He's not harassing her, is he? Because if he is—"
"He just won't stop flirting, even though she clearly isn't interested," Jeno said bitterly, "He isn't physical or anything. Trust me, it wouldn't end well for him if he was."
Doyoung wasn't quite sure how to respond to the younger boy's dark tone. He looked down, clearing his throat awkwardly.
“So… how’s the apartment?” Jeno asked. Doyoung perked up instantly.
“Oh, now that Taeyong’s moved in and did his interior design thing, it looks great. He’s really done a great job at it.”
“When am I gonna meet this guy? He sounds cool.”
“He’s really cool,” Doyoung hummed, cheeks heating up. “Things are getting really serious.”
Jeno smiled at how flustered Doyoung, who was normally so level headed and calm, became at the mention of his boyfriend.
“You guys sound like a really good couple,” He said. Doyoung chuckled, waving his hand. “Oh, well—” 
 The elevator dinged, and Doyoung sighed. “I’ll tell you later. C’mon.”
The hallway it opened up to was lined with pictures of the company's history, starting from pictures of black and white of people in vintage clothing, to pictures in sepia tones to finally pictures of the current CEO at locations around the world: Chanyeol Park.
Jeno walked behind Doyoung as he led him down the hallway, before stopping in front of a door, and a friendly looking man in a suit. 
Junmyeon was a part of Chanyeol’s Security and Intelligence team, and often sat in on these meetings with Jeno. The chain of contact also included him. If Jeno couldn’t contact Doyoung (which rarely happened), he’d contact Junmyeon. And if he couldn’t contact either of them, or it was an emergency, only then could he contact Chanyeol. So far, that had only happened once.
"Hey, Junmyeon," Doyoung said, "Mr. Park's 4:30 is here." 
Junmyeon nodded, before smiling at Jeno and giving him a wave. "Hey, kid."
Jeno offered an awkward grin. "Hi, Mr. Kim."
Junmyeon rolled his eyes sarcastically. "Kid, you're making me feel ancient. I've told you a million times, just call me Junmyeon."
Jeno shuffled awkwardly, before nodding at the older man, watching as he pressed a button on his earpiece. "Hey, Yeol. Jeno's here."
The muffled response was barely heard, but Jeno automatically understood what Mr. Park said. Junmyeon turned to open the door, and let the pair inside. The “office”—if it could even be called that—opened up to more of a lounge, than anything. A wall of glass overlooked the Manhattan skyline, but Jeno knew that from the outside it looked only like a wall, due to camouflage technology developed by Mr. Park himself. As Doyoung and Junmyeon stayed back, closer to the door, Jeno took a few steps toward the man in question.
Chanyeol was standing a few feet in front of the glass window, working on a holographic model of a new piece of tech. His face was turned downward in a concentrated frown. He barely spared the teenager a glance as he said fondly, “Hey, kid.”
Jeno was used to this. Chanyeol wasn’t cold per se, but he wasn’t warm at all. He knew that Chanyeol cared about him, even if he didn’t really show it in a conventional way. Chanyeol was a very… eccentric man, so he had his own way of saying and doing things. 
“Hi, Mr. Park. Um… you wanted to talk to me?”
“Yep! Needed some help from the friendly neighborhood Spiderman… A little birdie told me about something going on in Queens.”
“Queens?” Jeno asked, gripping the straps of his backpack. “You mean, other than the usual stuff?”
“Other than the usual stuff,” Chanyeol repeated, nodding. With a wave of his hand, the hologram disappeared, and another one appeared in its place. This time, instead of a 3D model, a few pictures and another, smaller 3D model appeared. Chanyeol turned to face him, frown deepening. He pointed at the model—a long, shiny oval-shaped purple stone. It reminded Jeno of an amethyst, but instead of turning white at the base, it turned to an iridescent jade tone. “You know what this is, right?”
Jeno nodded, remembering seeing the rocks all over the news when he was a kid. “That’s… that’s a Chitauri stone. From the invasion a few years back.”
Chanyeol nodded, standing up straight. “These stones have the potential to power weapons with no need to recharge, or change them out. They’re an infinite, extremely strong power source, Jeno, and in the wrong hands can be very dangerous.”
Jeno took a deep breath, feeling his stomach sink slowly. Chanyeol sighed. “Cleanup of the city after the invasion was long, and difficult, and obviously the government and the company weren’t able to get everything. It caused a black market to pop up. Now, the NYPD has been investigating it for years, but they have their limits… that’s where you come in.”
“M-me, Mr. Park?”
Chanyeol gave him a crooked, reassuring smile. He pointed at one of the pictures, which was of a man who most likely didn’t know he was photographed. He was walking somewhere, face looking angry and stern.
“You don’t know who this is, right?”
Jeno shook his head, and Chanyeol turned his head to nod at Junmyeon. “You’re up, tough guy.”
Junmyeon huffed, before walking up to Jeno. He put his hand on Jeno’s shoulder as if he could tell that he was growing anxious. 
“Jeno, that’s Henry Duke. From what we understand on the intel team, he’s one of the cornerstones of the alien tech black market. He’s one of the top dogs. From what we understand, he likes to be present for all major negotiations that his group makes. A source of ours told us that there’s going to be a negotiation on Friday night not too far away from LaGuardia. We want you to go out there and just get a feel of what’s going on.”
“Just watch them, right?” Jeno looked at Junmyeon, who patted his back reassuringly. “Just watch. Don’t engage unless you absolutely have to.”
“You can do that, right?” Chanyeol said quietly, crossing his arms. “Because if not, then it’s totally—”
“Yeah, of course I can! Friday—shit, Friday. At what time are they supposed to be meeting up?”
Junmyeon furrowed his eyebrows, before answering, “Around eight or nine.”
Jeno bit his lip, thinking about the promise he’d made to you. It would just have to wait, he supposed. Chanyeol rarely asked anything this big of him.
“Alright,” Jeno agreed, “I’ll do it.”
Chanyeol grinned, clapping his hands together. 
“Perfect.” 
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They discussed logistics briefly after. Doyoung would be on call with Jeno, his custom made suit allowing them to communicate, letting Doyoung see everything Jeno was seeing via a video feed coming from the ultra thin lenses placed in the white eye sockets of the mask. Doyoung would then report to Junmyeon, who would report to Chanyeol, who would probably report to the FBI. Jeno was only to engage if absolutely necessary.
After that, he set out on patrol. He usually found some discreet place to hide his backpack, and then went all over Queens looking for trouble, quite literally. Around five thirty, he stopped a robbery in Murray Hill. Then, around seven, he stopped a man from stealing a woman’s purse in Elmhurst. Nothing too much.
Around eight, he finally headed home, this time dressed normally, using the train and not web fluid. He walked home, tired, knowing that he’d immediately have to do that cursed AP calc homework. When he got home, he opened his backpack pocket to look for his keys, rummaging between his notebooks and other things. 
Shuffling through his stuff, he furrowed his eyebrows as he couldn’t find them. Thinking back, he remembered this morning, when he’d left in a rush… and had very obviously left his keys on his desk.
“Shit,” He muttered to himself. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, remembering that Aunt Sunny had said she’d be working overtime tonight. He could very easily sneak in through his window, but he was pretty sure he’d locked it the night before, and it was too early. People’s lights were still on—anyone could see him if they just looked up, and then he would be screwed. 
Huffing and zipping his backpack up, he marched up to your house, before ringing the doorbell. He shifted his weight back and forth, from his heels to the balls of his feet, until the door opened up. A familiar man with a face just like Doyoung's, but older, with graying hair and arms scarred and muscled from years of working on the police force stood in the doorway.
“Jeno?” Your dad offered him a warm smile. “Hey, kiddo, what’s up?”
“Hi, Mr. Kim,” Jeno said, smiling back. He shifted nervously. “I, um… I left my keys in my room this morning, and my aunt’s working late, so… could I… maybe wait here? Y/N’s home, right?” 
The man nodded. “Of course, of course. Come in!” 
Your dad had always been super friendly, even from the day Jeno had first met him. You'd told Jeno once that he was the only real father figure you'd ever had. Once everything settled after him and your mom got married, you started calling him dad altogether. And since you and Jeno were practically glued at the hip, he got along with your dad almost as well as you did.
“Okay.” Jeno stepped in and set down his backpack at the base of the coat rack next to the door, as he’d done a million times before. Jeno stepped into the living room, and sat down on the couch. He folded his hands in his lap and looked up at your dad.
"I think Y/N's in the shower, but she should be done soon. You can just wait here if you want… have you eaten anything yet?”
“Uh, I had a granola bar on the train, but that’s it.”
“We have some leftover pasta here, if you want—”
“Thanks, Mr. Kim, really! I’m fine.”
Your dad nodded, sitting down on his recliner. “So, have you started your college list, yet? Y/N said you wanted to stay here in New York.”
Jeno nodded, pushing some hair out of his face. “Well, yeah. It would make things a lot easier, I think. I might want to apply to NYU, but I think I’ll just go to community college, or something.”
Your dad shook his head. “You’re a pretty smart kid, Jeno. I think you could get into Columbia if you set out to. Plus, Chanyeol Park doesn’t give out internships to anybody. That’s your secret weapon.”
Jeno smiled. “Well, you’ve got a point.” 
Your dad gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder. “Come on, trying won’t hurt!” Your dad made a face, and then rubbed his knuckles. “Have you been working out? Those muscles weren’t there the last time I did that.”
Jeno laughed, trying to think of an excuse. “Oh, a little bit? The house needed some fixing up over the summer, and I wanted to help Aunt Sunny, so…”
“Jeno?” 
He turned immediately, eyes landing on you at the base of the staircase. You’d changed into an old t-shirt and pajama pants. Your hair was slightly damp. “What are you doing here?” You asked, with a curious smile.
His shoulders slumped, and he grinned sheepishly. “Terrible Tuesday strikes again. I forgot my keys.”
You grimaced. “Brutal, dude. You wanna come up?” Your eyes moved to your dad. “Or am I interrupting guy time?”
“Oh, definitely,” Jeno answered, playing along. He took a cocky tone as he rested his hands on the back of his neck. “Your dad was just telling me about how much the NYPD needs me.” 
You stifled a laugh. You dad seemed to be holding back a laugh too. "Hey, you're joking, but if you keep working out like that, and if by some impossible chance, the college thing doesn't work out… We might just be able to catch Spiderman if we finally got some brain cells on the force."
"Ugh, dad," You groaned, unaware of Jeno's gut twisting, "Not again."
"Yeah, Mr. Kim," Jeno said, scratching the back of his head, "He's not that bad."
Your dad shook his head. "Look, I don't hate the guy. In all honesty, crime rates have dropped since he started doing his thing. But he thinks he's above the law, and his methods can be a bit… unorthodox sometimes. He’s been undermining us for years and his tech is state of the art. Makes me wonder about what we should do to modernize the force."
Jeno looked downward, wondering what would happen if your dad knew the truth.
"Well, I guess we may just never find out. Jeno'd make a horrible cop. He couldn't hurt a fly if you paid him a million dollars."
But you came to the rescue as you grabbed his backpack, and soon enough he was up the stairs with you, heading into your bedroom, laughing to yourselves when you heard your dad jokingly call out, "Fifteen inch distance, you two! Door stays open!"
He sat on your desk chair while you lay on your bed, limbs splaying out. 
"So you left your keys."
Jeno groaned. "Don't remind me. I was in such a rush to leave, that I… I forgot. I'm so stupid."
You rolled your eyes, rolling over onto your stomach to look at him. "You're not stupid, Jen. You made an honest mistake because you were in a hurry." 
Standing up, you walked over to him and leaned against the desk. "Seriously, Jeno. What's gotten into you, lately? You freak out about every little thing. It's starting to worry me." 
Jeno shook his head. "I don't know," He admitted. "I think I'm just scared about how after this year, everything changes. Renjun’s headed upstate. Jaemin’s going to Boston. You want to go to LA. I think Hyuck and I are the only ones who want to stay here. I just… I don't want things to change." 
Your expression turned sad as he continued. "Everyone is expecting great things from me. You're smart, Jeno. You can get into an Ivy. Or, you have a Park internship, you'll be fine. What if I don't want things to be fine? What if I want them to just stay the same?"
You stayed silent for a few moments, trying to think of what to say. Jeno was relatively level headed for someone your age, but even he had moments of doubt and panic. It made moments like these difficult.  You sighed before grabbing him by the hand. Wordlessly, you tugged him over to the bed, sitting him down and leaning your head on his shoulder. He could feel the dampness in your hair seeping slowly into his shirt.
"I guess I understand what you mean," You mumbled, trying to reason with him, "But come on. You wouldn't really want everything to stay the same. You can't tell me you want to keep getting AP calc homework. And I definitely doubt that you'd want to have your ass kicked by San for the rest of your life."
Jeno looked at the floor. "You're right. But you know that's not what I mean—"
"I know," You huffed, "I'm just saying. Change… it's inevitable. The longer you fight it, the harder it is."
Jeno nodded. "This sucks."
"It does," You agreed, taking his hand in yours. "But at least we have each other's backs, y'know?"
Something of a smile appeared on his face. You were so close to him, leaning on him, stroking his knuckles with your thumb. He hoped you couldn't hear his heart pounding in his chest. 
"We really do, huh?" His voice turned quiet, with a bit of a sleepy lull to it. He allowed his head to rest on yours. "You're so comfortable. Can I like, use you as a pillow for the rest of my life?"
You giggled. "I'll consider it on two conditions."
"Oh, you'll consider. How generous of you."
"Yes, I'll consider. Now, do you wanna hear my terms or not?" 
Jeno raised an eyebrow. "Go ahead," He said, before putting on his best Marlon Brando voice, "Make me an offer I can't refuse."
Snorting, you lifted your head off of his. "Okay. One, you finish your calculus homework here before Sunny gets home."
He pursed his lips. "Okay, I could probably do that. What's the other one?"
"Let me drive you to school for the rest of the year." 
Jeno stared at you, and you nodded, eyes wide. "Trust me, Jen. You wouldn't need to wake up so early! And plus, you can't text the guy manning the subway asking him to give you five minutes because you need to find your keys."
Jeno gnawed on the inside of his cheek. You did have a point, and to be honest, he could probably refrain from putting his feet up on your dashboard.
"Deal." 
You grinned. "Awesome," You answered, before nodding towards his backpack. "Now get to work, Einstein."
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The rest of the week wasn't that bad. Yes, you were absolutely batshit insane about your truck in the morning, but he soon realized he didn't really mind. Not when it allowed you both to spend some twenty extra minutes together in the mornings, and they were spent joking around and listening to your extremely varied playlist. 
On the other hand, he was saddled with more and more homework, greater and greater expectations. The looming threat of Friday's mission rolled around, and it made Jeno feel like time was passing much too slowly but also way too quickly. There was so much on his mind. He had chemistry with you on Thursdays in the afternoon, which also meant that San was there. Which also meant that sometimes, his heightened senses would pick up on San dropping a tacky pick up line which made Jeno want to punch him in the jaw.
Finally, finally, Friday afternoon rolled around. As he bid you goodbye and promised to see you later, he tried to ignore the feeling in his stomach. The feeling that something was about to go very, very wrong. He went out on patrol, ready for Doyoung to set up the call and tell him where he needed to go. It didn’t help that there wasn’t a lot for him to do that day. Crime had seemed to slow down altogether. 
When the time finally came, and the sun was beginning to set, Doyoung rang in at about 7, telling him the location. An old warehouse near LaGuardia airport, hidden from prying eyes. Jeno made his way to the place, avoiding security cameras Doyoung warned him about, and found a place to hide. There was a hole in the warehouse roof, which allowed him to peer right into the building without being seen. It was about thirty feet from the ground.
“Why is it always old, abandoned warehouses?” Jeno grumbled. He heard Doyoung laugh quietly. 
“Beats me,” Doyoung sighed. 
And so they waited. Jeno wondered vaguely if you were still working. He wasn’t sure. They made time talking quietly, until a black SUV rolled into the warehouse. “Woah, Doyoung,” He murmured, “Hold up.”
Jeno leaned forward, but quickly realized he probably wouldn’t be able to hear what was being said. “D.R.E.A.M, activate Heightened Intelligence Protocol.”
Activating Heightened Intelligence Protocol.
The protocol allowed Jeno to use the lenses over his eyes to zoom in on specific targets, as well as use a microphone embedded in the suit to pick up audio from far away and feed it directly into his ears.
He watched as three figures got out of the car, a fourth remaining in the driver’s seat. The trio stood in front of the car, and Jeno recognized the man in the middle as the man Junmyeon had been talking about.
“Alright, there’s Henry Duke,” He said, “The one in the middle.”
 “Got it,” Doyoung replied, sounding satisfied. “Now all we have to do is wait for the other party.”
“Did Junmyeon’s sources say anything about who it would be?”
“No. They weren’t able to find that out. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
Jeno’s eyes never left the man. “Do you think it’s something international?”
Doyoung sighed. “I’m not sure. If it is international, then you need to be even more careful.”
“Got it. I think—Wait, here they come.” 
A second vehicle, this one another black SUV, rolled up not too far away from the first car. The lights turned off and the engine sputtered to a stop, and four men stepped out of the vehicle.
Jeno’s stomach dropped, and of its own accord, his mouth let loose a quiet, “What the fuck,” as he registered the person leading them. 
“What?” Doyoung asked, before realizing what—who—he was looking at. “...Is that my dad?”
“I think it is,” Jeno whispered, fingertips suddenly numb. Who was he kidding? They both knew who it was. 
“So,” One of the men next to your dad said, “You show us yours, we’ll show you ours?”
Henry Duke clapped his hands together with an impish grin. “I suppose. Reagan, get the case.”
One of the two men standing beside him started off toward the trunk of the car. “It caught me off guard when I heard that the force wanted to purchase these. Almost made me wonder if this was your attempt at a sting operation.”
“What made you change your mind?” Your dad asked. Jeno swallowed at how cold he sounded. This wasn’t your dad, and it didn’t seem like Officer Kim either. This was someone Jeno had never met before. 
“Honestly, Kim?” Duke raised an eyebrow, shrugging. “It was you. Your cooperativeness and willing to feed us information, as well as your… insurance agreement. And besides, you made a very interesting point when you said that the Avengers Initiative and Park’s alum Spiderman is ruining the way the law operates around here. That type of bitterness… hard to fake.”
Your dad huffed. “We’re fucking tired of it.”
The man leaning against the car your dad had stepped out of scoffed. “If this helps us catch the little asshole, then so be it.”
Jeno frowned. “I’m not little—”
“Jeno, shut up!” Doyoung snapped. 
“—Alright, then.” The man holding the briefcase—Reagan—clicked it open, as if it were a prize reveal on The Price is Right. Five guns, all modified to hold glowing Chitauri stones were placed carefully together side by side.
“You know the basics. No radiation. Keep it away from security scanners and x-rays. They will blow up. And second of all, these are at half the price, along with the promise from the chief of police that my business won’t be touched, and will only be distributed to officers in on the operation and have agreed to turn off their body cameras when they decide to use these weapons. Should this not be a sting operation, we’ll be back here to negotiate.”
Jeno leaned forward, watching anxiously.
“Yes, sir,” Your dad answered, nodding. “We have the money here.”
“Hand it over, then.”
That was when Jeno made his mistake. He leaned forward too much, and proceeded to fall right through the hole, bringing down some scraps of the roof with him. As he tumbled through the air, the zoom on his lenses caused him to grow dizzy as he had no idea what he was looking at. He caught himself before he could fall, clumsily commanding D.R.E.A.M to go back to turn off the current protocol. His vision returned to normal, and he swung up onto a rafter holding the warehouse up.
“So, we have company.” Duke didn’t sound as amused as he had before. His face turned into a sneer. “Get him.”
In less than a second, before Jeno could say anything, five guns were pointed directly at him. He managed to swing away before any bullets could hit him. 
“Jeno, get out of there now,” Doyoung ordered. 
“What about the guns?” Jeno asked, swinging to another rafter. “They know I’m here, I might as well get them before I go—”
“No! Jeno, listen to what I’m telling you. You’ve done more than enough, and you need to let it g—”
Your dad aimed, and a bullet fired right at Jeno’s chest. For a second, he forgot that the chest area of the suit was lined with bulletproof material. While it didn’t shoot into his chest, it ricocheted right off him, and since he was in motion, it somehow caused the bullet to bounce back in the direction in which it came. 
The wind was knocked out of Jeno, but it was nothing compared to watching the bullet land in the middle of your father’s chest. On the other line, he heard Doyoung yell, followed by the sound of something falling. And then, as he made his way back towards the hole he’d fallen out of, he couldn’t rip his eyes away from the body as it crumpled to the ground. 
The others around him scrambled to get back into their respective cars. Jeno was back on the roof now, trying not to hyperventilate. “I’m sorry,” He gasped, “Do—Doyoung, I-I’m sorry, I didn’t want to—”
“Jeno, you need to get out of there, now,” Doyoung said, voice raspy. “GO!” 
So he did, and Doyoung cut off the call once he was out of the vicinity. Jeno didn’t blame him. He swung across buildings, feeling numb as he looked for the apartment complex roof where he’d decided to hide his backpack.
When he finally did, he changed in a hurry, before slumping against the wall and forcing himself to take deep breaths. 
Doyoung’s dad—your dad—was dead. And it was all his fault. 
He cried on the way down the staircase. He cried on his way to the subway. The entire time, he ignored people’s stares. Suddenly everything was too loud, and if he met someone in the eyes he’d just about break down in the middle of the station. 
As he got onto the train, Jeno thought about all of the things your dad had done for you, and for Jeno. All the times he'd taken you both to Coney Island in the summer when you were younger. The year Pokemon Go came out he took the both of you driving around in his car so you and Jeno could catch as many Pokemon as you could. 
He’d formally adopted you when you were thirteen. You were his daughter in nearly every sense of the word, regardless of blood. And now he was dead, because of a stupid mistake that Jeno had made.
What would you say if you knew? He didn’t want to know. Checking the time on his phone, he saw he’d gotten a message from you just three minutes ago.
[8:36 PM]
y/n: lemme know when ur outside!! :)
“Fuck,” He murmured, wiping his eyes. He knew he needed to stop crying before he got to your house, and he had about ten minutes before he got to his stop, and then another five minute walk to the neighborhood. He focused on taking deep breaths and taking long swigs from his water bottle in the meantime, trying to tune out the sound of other people talking and the sound of the train on the rails.
The walk was the longest five minute walk he’d ever taken. The flashing lights of convenience stores did nothing to calm him down. As the stores in his peripheral vision began transitioning into suburban homes, he felt his heart speed up again. The constant movement as he walked meant he missed his phone vibrating in his backpack as you rang his number.
After what seemed like an eternity, two familiar houses came into his line of vision, and his shoulders slumped as he spotted you on your porch, looking small and teary, curled up into a little ball. In one hand, you were clutching your phone.
His stomach twisted as he put on a confused tone, even though he knew damn well that you knew. “...Y/N?”
You stood up, running to him and burying yourself into his chest, crumpling into his arms. You would have fell over if Jeno hadn’t held both of you up. 
“Jeno,” You sobbed, “You’re n-not go-onna believe it.”
He brought a hand up to caress your hair, holding back tears of his own as he asked a question he already knew the answer to.
“Y/N, what happened?”
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taglist: @decembermoonskz @itsapapisongo @lenaluvs​ @crescentjen​
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altumvidetur · 4 years
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Good Omens: Crowley/Aziraphale Fic Recs
So, I was thinking about the coronavirus pandemic and what I could do to help people out. I’m isolated because I’m at higher risk, so I can’t really offer to go out for my elderly neighbors or my family… but I thought I could try to help keep people entertained.
Because I don’t have an AO3 account right now, I’ve been compiling fic recs for my own amusement for a year or so. And I thought – maybe that’s the time to share these with everyone? So everyone will have plenty of things to read while they have to stay at home, or even to escape anxiety a little bit if you’re forced to go out.
Of course, these cater to my own tastes, so you may find stuff you don’t like around here. I never include works in progress. The Mature and Explicit works will be in italic. I ask you to READ THE WORK’S TAGS before continuing, so you won’t find anything that makes you uncomfortable.
Let’s go for the Ineffable Husbands fanfics!
In Nomine, by tinsnip
The first time he’d given in to the impulse to just make up a name, he’d felt a bit odd about it. But everything had gone so smoothly. He’d been able to just go in and eat and then leave and it hadn’t mattered at all, the human hadn’t really wanted to know his name, they’d just wanted something to peg him by while he was there.
And so: Fell. Ezra Fell. Ms Azee Phale. Mme A Zinnia File. A Z Fell, bookseller.
That last one has stuck around the longest, now. He’s grown rather attached to it.
A... A... what begins with A?
Aziraphale makes dinner reservations for himself and Crowley, and is a bit thoughtless. Silly business.
swimming in your ocean (i can get pretty sidetracked), by tinsnip
Under him, Aziraphale makes a soft, deep sound.
He lets go, leaves his lips just where they are. “You’re sweet. You taste sweet.”
Apparently Aziraphale isn’t up to making words right now.
***
Three little chapters of happy smut. Immortal genderless beings assuming mostly-human forms would, I figure, have a bit of a different approach to sex. They've got no particular drive, and all the time in the world. Getting sidetracked is part of the fun.
Eyes Closed, by tinsnip
Aziraphale makes love with his eyes closed.
Crowley doesn’t.
Bad Habits, by tinsnip
Clearly, both Crowley and Aziraphale used to smoke. We know this. We’ve been told this by Mr. Gaiman.
I’d be very surprised if either of them still does. But the reasons for this, and the methods by which their statuses changed, are different.
Notably: Crowley cheats. Aziraphale doesn't.
Like light, refracted, by tinsnip
Full steam ahead, decided Crowley: “I think we should get naked.”
Ethereal/occult lovemaking of the rather fluffy variety.
tell me all the ways, by tinsnip
Crowley was out in the garden.
Aziraphale was in his study, most definitely not looking out the window.
Really. Really. One little speck of sentiment: was it so much to ask?
what a way to make a living, by attheborder
Without any more assignments coming from Downstairs, Crowley is struck with a bad case of the doldrums.
It takes a bit of trial and error, but eventually a solution is found.
(Or: the one where Crowley becomes an Uber driver.)
summer and his pleasures, by witching
for summer and his pleasures wait on thee, and thou away, the very birds are mute; or if they sing, ‘tis with so dull a cheer, that leaves look pale, dreading the winter’s near. // william shakespeare, sonnet 97
absence makes the heart grow fonder, and crowley and aziraphale’s hearts were plenty fond to begin with. a story told through phone calls while they are separated for work-related reasons.
nothing but the wild rain, by Raven
"The internet, Aziraphale!" Crowley says. "This is what the internet is for. This is, quite literally, what the internet is for."
"Oh," Aziraphale says, and Crowley knows, he just knows, that Aziraphale is going to say something about how it's jolly useful for hard-to-find first editions and tickets for the Last Night of the Proms.
or, Aziraphale and Crowley find sex confusing.
Forever, by goodomensblog
Heaven’s execution chamber was elegant, magnificent - and bare. Polished floors gleamed, immaculate; their cleanliness made it impossible to guess at the atrocities committed upon them. Clean, white walls glared, and a window as large as the room was tall, teased of freedom just out of reach.
At the center of it all, was a chair.
And upon that chair, an angel sat.
Across the cold, stark room - too far from the angel - a demon knelt, bound.
The ropes burned, and Crowley hissed, hunching his shoulders as he turned his head up. The angel, his wrists tied to the chair, met and held his stare.
No, it couldn’t - it wasn’t - this wasn’t right.
Confused and in pain, Crowley called, “Angel, you alright?”
Aziraphale’s light hair appeared white in the harshly lit room, and his face had gone pale; but at Crowley’s call he sat up in the chair, bound hands giving a feeble wave.
London. 1944., by AliceinSpace
The air ripples and stars blink in and out of existence as the fabric of the universe creates a loophole in the middle of the street. A figure drops unceremoniously from that loophole and hits the pavement in a tangle of limbs.
"-is that a gunshot wound?”
Or the one in which a fatally injured Crowley runs to the only place that makes sense: a bookshop in Soho.
Of Eclairs, Feathers and Complex Reactions to Trauma, by oneatatime
“Do you know,” Aziraphale said, his voice muffled in the shoulder of Crowley’s jacket, “that when humans go through trauma, they can be quite calm and competent throughout, but then the terror comes out later, as it must?
Take My Hand, Take My Whole Life Too, by Demorra
He didn’t want to think about the bookshop. It hurt in a way that was entirely too visceral to be angelic, and entirely too earth shattering to be human. It was the love of several hundred years, burned up in an instant. It shouldn’t have mattered, not if he were truly angelic. But he shed a few silent tears anyway and felt somewhat better for it. All things considered, it wasn’t the end of the world.
No, that had been much more complicated.
And yet, somehow so very mundanely human. No great battle, no heavenly sounding of horns or hordes of demons. Just a choice, a choice not between Good and Evil, but between darkness and light, hope and despair, fear and… and love…
the mortifying ordeal of being known (biblically), by FlipSpring
"Relax, angel, it's not much worse. It's just our bodies. It's not like we enfolded or anything." ~ Crowley, in 500 AD, after having physical sex with Aziraphale for the first time, blissfully unaware that he has just foreshadowed himself into a corner
*
Crowley procrastinates on his feelings by taking a 5-year nightmare nap after the End Of The World. Aziraphale comes in like, "dude wake the fuck up, also, do you wanna metaphysically bang maybe? no pressure." and then Crowley loses his goddamn mind, because he is a delicately-stacked bundle of neuroses in black skinny jeans.
Also they have breakfast and check in on Tadfield.
Re-Recalled, by Jennistar
Halfway through an argument, Aziraphale gets accidentally discorporated and doesn't come back. Crowley does the sensible thing and panics.
Luminosity, by bethagain
A quick trip to bless someone with a miracle takes a wrong turn, and Aziraphale and Crowley are stuck overnight in rural Iceland. The northern lights are beautiful, but it turns out demons, cold-blooded, tend to seize up when it's freezing out. Aziraphale finds a way to get him warm again.
i don’t know how to stay tender with this much blood in my mouth, by Princex_N
(Summary by me: the one in which Crowley has been living with chronic pain for thousands of  years.)
Queen’s Greatest Hits, by BuzzCat
Good Omens fanfic with no coherent through-line between fics aside from each one is inspired in one way or another by a Queen song, listed in the notes for each fic.
i know i’ve kissed you before (but i didn’t do it right), by gallantrejoinder
They'd given it a go once. Ages ago. And they'd both agreed it wasn't for them.
the whole damned world seemed upside down, by citadelofswords
(Summary by me: facing the odds and moving on with the world.)
Leaves of Grass, by Laura Shapiro
(Summary by me: the world is saved, and now they’re left to explore each other.)
The Sacred and the Profane, by afrai
(POPULLI.NET link) Somewhere else, the happy ending was different. AU.
Be Ye Therefore Merciful, by AmberDiceless
Crowley does something utterly unexpected, and Aziraphale must face an opponent who cannot be thwarted. Hints of pre-A/C.
Full Circle, by Hekateras
Nothing lasts forever and the final Apocalypse can only be delayed for so long.
There is a school of thought that says you cannot fight fate.
And another that claims there's no such thing as predestination, only those powerful enough to make your choices for you - if you let them.
Aziraphale puts both to the test.
Living Arrangements, by afrai
(POPULLI.NET link) Everyone is more or less human, even when they aren't.
Nanny Knows Best, by DictionaryWrites
Summary by me: an exploration of Crowley’s experience as Warlock’s nanny. 
From the Top (Say Your Lines Once More), by CoffeeStars
Crowley lives and dies and wakes up to repeat the cycle. And every single time Aziraphale is there, a different face and new memories.
Manchester Lost, by Moczo
(FF.Net Link)  -an ensemble sequel to the novel- Our heroes have managed to make things worse, as the Apocalypse is starting up... again. Drama! Action! Humor! Adventure! Tea! Suspense! Snark! Romance!
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dangankink-blog · 6 years
Text
Fanservice Ronpa!
Chapter 1: “Kaede Fatamatsu” A.K.A “The Beginning”
(The following story contains a bunch of things that might not be of your best liking such as: slob, obesity, etc., as well as V3 spoilers bad writng Also possbly very OOC things)
It all Started with a note from the producers.
“Dear Miss Shirogane
After making extensive research and data collecting, we have come to the conlusion that Danganronpa’s renewed 53rd season may be cancelled unless massive changes are made to the characters that star in it.
Our ratings have dropped massively in the last few seasons, we need something new to call the attention of the public. Something defying, interesting, and that will undeniably raise our ratings.
Our best wishes,
Team Danganronpa’s staff”
“Massive changes to the characters?”
“Ratings dropping?!”
“Oh, why? Why is everyone seeing less in Danganronpa’s magestic design?”
Tsumugi lamented herself, looking and sounding severely frustrated before slapping herself in the face.
“Chin up, Shirogane!”
“It’s in your hands to keep this wonderful series alive for the world to see!”
“But I’ll need to change so much, and our cast is ready to air already we’re set up and the script needs massive cha--!” She stopped, then mentally repeated her own words, over and over again before a devious grin settled in her face
“Massive....”
Day 3 of the Mutual Killing Semester and no casualties have happened
Kaede Akamatsu was happy, as she layed on her buttom, just outside of the isolated academy.
She had banded her classmates together and was planning to meet up with Shuichi to start piano lessons later that day, what could go wrong?
Monokuma had lost to the power of her optmism and magic words, she was sure of it!
Her thoughts, however, were interrupted soon enough by a piece of paper hitting the back of her head
“Huh, what?!”
She said, looking everywhere, crumpled up paper in her hand as she looked everywhere for the mysterious note writer.
And yes she found no one....
Surely someone was just shy, she told herself before expanding and reading the paper, which quickly piqued her attention.
In shaky handwriting and a perfumed paper, The note read the following
“Dear Kaede
I’ve found something important, a clue to getting out of here, even!
Don’t tell anyone, Monokuma could find out.
Meet me in the shrine in a few hours”
No signature. Anyone would have thought that was weird....
But Kaede beamed with determination
“Surely this is from Shuichi! If he says it could save us, whatever it is it will probably let us leave!” She thought, crushing the paper in her hand.
A few hours later, Kaede walked towards the shrine making sure no one followed her. She made sure to show up earlier than asked, just in case it proved important.
She waited..and waited....And then...She felt something sting her behind, a yelp sounding as the response to the immediate pain, only for it to be followed by drowziness....extreme drowziness...
Kaede woke up, tied to a chair and in an obscured room.
“Wuh....where....” She slurred out, still half asleep
“...Wh...WHERE AM I?!” She yelled, in sudden realization. “HELLO?! SOMEONE?! HELP ME! I’M--” She stopped suddenly, Monokuma’s trademark laugh resonating through the room
“M-Monokuma?!”
“Well, finally you woke up! I was starting to think you had turned nto Kaedead! Upupupupu!”
Kaede couldn’t help but cringe at the bad pun
“Well, okay then. I guess not everyone can bear a perfectly good sense of humor!”
“What do you want, Monokuma?” Kaede demanded
“I ruined your plan and you’ll break your own rules to get rid of me?” She asked, trying to play smartass about the situation.
“Oh, boohoo. Little miss piano thinks I’m ruined, My life is sooooooo done for!” he cackled, looking like he was definitely enjoying the situation.
“You didn’t ruin a thing, you Kaediot! I mean, who do you take me for?!”
“I’m nothing but a fair, square and filled up bear! You hear? You’re here for a different kind of dealio, compadre!”
“You see, I’ve been having a few issues keeping my children calm, you know”
“Being a single papa bear of five is hard! Everyone always going on and on and on about how being a mama bear is hard, no one thinks about us papa bears I tell you!”
Kaede seemed to be taking this insultingly. He kidnapped her just to complain about his children...? Is this how he planned to get rid of the one who ruined his plans?. However, she also had a tinge of fear to her face.
She was at his mercy. This could hurt a lot...She was afraid, but tried to keep her defiant look, for her friends!
“Fine, fine, I’ll get to the point!”
“You see, my small little poor little kubz cant get entertainment anymore! And our super duper special surprise for all of you is taking way longer than we expeced...Puhuh...That’s so bad, they’re just tearing my fluff out, those bastards! The most despairful situation ever! They even keep emptying the fridge with how bored they are and how much running they do trying to keep themselves entertained!”
“So, I thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and-- Look, just picture me with glasses in a reflexive pose for two and a half days!”
“So basically, what I’m trying to say is that”
“I’ll be giving them a lesson! And you, my dear Kaede, the girl that banded the students of the Ultimate Academy for Gifted Juveniles singlehandedly, will be my assistant!”
“W-Wait, what?” Kaede asked, confused
“Less questions and more working, we have people to enter-- ahem... I mean, teach, Kaede!”
And swiftly, the kubs covered the scene with a curtain and acted like they were putting on a play
Monophanie held up a cardboard sign that read “The problem of a modern kink!” as childish music played
The curtain opened up, the scenery completely different and Kaede just looking bamboozled, yells for help muffled by a piece of cloth as the kubz took seat in a circle infront of Monokuma, who was sitting with a book and glasses infront of a control panel.
“Now then, my dead children. It’s Papa Kuma’s storytime!”
The kubz cheered happily
“Today’s story will be...The blonde, the witch and the King!”
“Once upon a time, there was a selfess blonde, who never gave herself some private time!”
“She was always running around, here and there! She helped the emo! She helped the crazy religious bastard!”
“She even went and helped the evil midget!”
“One day, the benevolent King of the town they aaaaaaaall inhabited, King Monokuma the great, saw how much the poor peasant of a blonde was working herself, and chose to reward her!”
”MMPH?!” tried to yell Kaede, confused as the cloth covering her mouth was slowly untied by Monosuke, cackling
“’ I invite thee to my castle for a banquet in your honor, lady Blonde!’ Said the always generous king! ‘A banquet as the reward for your selflessness!’ he remarked!”
“ ‘Oh, your beariness! I’d love to!’ said the peasant blonde.”
“ ‘We’ll offer you as much as you can eat! With no limits!’ He said. And so, they got on their way to the wonderful King’s feast! However, it wasn’t true that everyone was happy with lady Blonde’s actions!”
“People from the rest of the kingdom groaned angrily! So angrily they hides the blue witch to punish the blonde for her actions!”
“ ‘We’re tired of lady blonde!’ they said. ‘She’s just one more of these noble peasant wannabes!’ said some of the younger ones!”
“The blue witch, being as honorable and loving as she was, accepted the job!”
“ ‘I’ll use my magic to forever transform the blonde for being so deceivingly nice!’ and with a movement of the fingers, it was done!”
“Finally at the banquet, with all the food ready, the blonde layed happily, ready to enjoy her peaceful reward!”
“First, she had a slice of pie!”
As monokuma said this, the cloth was dropped, Kaede aiming to yell again...before having pie shoved into her mouth and forced to swallow...It was like blueberry...it tasted really good too!.
“She loved it! So she went to have a chicken leg next, balanced meal after all!”
As soon as Kaede tried to breathe from swallowing the pie, chicken meat was shoved into her maw and she was once again forced to swallow. She looked in pain, she was stressed! What was going on?!
“She loved the chicken too! In a bit of an impulsive decision, she went to eat some steamed tuna!”
It didn’t even wait this time. She was asphixiating but she couldn’t return the food. It was literally being shoved perfectly so she would swallow, with a small window to breathe in between.
She was nervous, she was crying...but she was...enjoying it?
She was confused, blatantly so. The food was so delicious!...It’s almost like it was numbing her senses and...making her hungried....a-and...m-making her horny? Just what was in these things?!
“So lost she was in the foods taste she started to shove several things in! From meat to veggies, to ramen! Pie! Muffins! The king didn’t think much, but lady blonde? She was eating and eating but she knew deep inside something was wrong!”
Giving Kaede just enough time to breathe and react, she was about to complain. That was too much for her to eat so quickly!
“Wai--ULMPH?!” She barely had a chance to say anything, and now she had a tube shoved in. And the food started flowing in, directly into her maw and then stomach.
As it kept coming, a small, taut stomach started to show through her sweater.
Monokuma didn’t stop.
Kaede was being fored to eat and eat without much rest. Just enough to keep her alive.
It hurt. It hurt so much...but she also felt hotter...hungried...
Chicken, Ramen, several flavors of pie, several flavor of cake...
At one point, Kaede gave in to the bears actions and started gulping, if only because she wanted more time to breathe, to stop filling her stomach.
It had started to peek from under her sweater and shirt by the time Monokuma reached the “The end” part of the book and she felt like she was going to blow up...before the darkness returned.
Hours later, she woke up...in a feast table? Her stomach had digested everything already, the pounds having packed on already. Kaede looked horrified at her new fluffness
“Wh-What is this...?!” She asked, before Monokuma once again showed up...with a lamp and a syringe this time
“If it isn’t lady blonde! That was a wonderful show, Kaede! Everyone loved it!”
“L-Loved it?! Show?! W-What?!”
“Don’t worry! Doooon’t worry!”
“You played like a star, now time to eat like one!” He said before shoving another piece of food in the blonde’s mouth.
This time the food felt...different to Kaede.
It was entrancing...addictive....no! She can’t give--
And then, Monokuma flashed her with a lamp
If she could feel her brain, she would feel everything rewiring. Readjusting...Moving over and over again....
And before she knew it...she had tons more of food in her maw....
She felt horrified...What was she doing?! It was like her body was in automatic. She was eating and eating....And then across the table she saw what...looked like a fat, hedious version of herself.
“...Are you going to deny this to us, Kaede?”
She got herself to stop
“W-What....Who?”
“I’m you...I’m what we really want...”
“Admit it...you’ve always been turned on by this...”
“Have you forgotten the many nights blubber was our only companion?”
“The soft landing for the piano freak....?”
Kaede thought about it....It felt like she did’t know what she meant...but at the same time like it was the truth
Before her thoughts her interrupted by a loud PHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT seemingly coming from the wider her across the table....And the same had the face of a pleasure unknown to her...the smell was rancid, horrible....but....why was she feeling so good? Why was she rejoicing in this
“I...I’m not....into this....”
“Are you so stubborn that you deny your own pleasures to your- BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAP...huff....self?”
Not only did the fat Kaede burp...she burped in kaede’s face.
Kaede blushed a bright pink. This wasn’t what she wanted! Not at all! It wasn’t! What was even going on?! Was this a dream?!.
She was still flying through her thoughts as the fat version of herself was stuffing food into her mouth. She chewed and swallowed...and chewed and swallowed...
(I don’t want this...I don’t want this!) She would keep telling herself...More and more food shoveled into her maw.
After a while, an ejection of gas occurred....but this time from her own rump.
She had lost herself in a muffled pleasure, only to be completely embarrassed by it immediately....She was still in denial...still in...denial....still in... deni...al?
She looked back at reality. Her plump self wasnt shoving food in anymore....she was.
The fatter Kaede was glutting herself. Kaede watched intently between chews....She looked so happy...So...sexy....And then before she realized it...she was eating faster.....Her conscience and will vanishing as she ate and ate...seemingly with a bottomless appetite.
It got to the point where she didn’t care she was farting and burping. She wanted to fill her gut...She was so HUNGRY...Hungry to feel good!
Days passed after Kaede’s mysterious disappearance before she suddenly showed up again. Everyone was baffled, outside of the cafeteria.
It smelled like someone had died and they hadn’t even reached the door yet!
Then, suddenly, the door flapped open with the sound of a mighty ‘PLLLLRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT’ and an oddly sensual moan.
Everyone stared in awe.
Kaede had grown massive.
The woman needed two chairs just for her buttcheeks, Her clothes looked like someone had played paintball with her as the shield splotches of several sauces all over her body and chins as she just glutted herself full.
As Kirumi and Ryoma took determination to confront the gigantic blonde, everyone stared even more in confusion as Kaede lift a doughy thigh, along with the blubbery buttcheek, and farted once more, rancid, cheesy blast hitting Ryoma and Kirumi completely in the face before they got her attention.
“Oh, BWRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP-i guys!” She said, chubby face smiling, looking a bit like a clown with all that sauce on her face before she let out a few tiny burps.
“Huff....Were you going to cook something? I’m starving!”
Tsumugi secretly smiled. The first target of Operation Kink service begginning...
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scriptstructure · 7 years
Note
You've probably answered this before, but it's been really bothering me. What if you reading a story and then you are inspired to write something similar-ish?
In fact, I haven’t – this is the first time I’ve gotten this question, and I think it’s a good one. A lot of people get very caught up in worrying about if their idea might have been ‘done before’, if it could have been done better, if someone else might have written it differently, etc. All these are very natural concerns, I think, and so is yours.
You read a story, or watch a movie, and there’s something in the premise or the characters, or the plot that takes root in your imagination and starts sprouting off new ideas. On the one hand, it feels great to have a flourish of creation in the brain pan, on the other hand what if it’s less a flourishing, and more a regurgitation?
youtube
No one wants to be Mr. Skinner.
But really, we can quote the literal, actual Bible on this one: The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun*. One of the most valuable lessons you can take on as a writer, there are no new ideas!
At their hearts, stories are often very simple, and take a few very basic shapes. The journey, the coming-of-age, the cycle of renewal …
But what does that mean when you’ve just come out of the cinema with a story idea burning in your mind and the queasy certainty that it’s going to be just too similar to the blockbuster you’ve just devoured?
The key is that everyone thinks a little differently, conceptualises differently, the things that you’ve picked out of that blockbuster are going to carry a slightly different weight and nuance of meaning to you, than they did to the other people in the cinema. If you focus on nurturing those personal, interpretive elements of the concept, then the thing that sprouts up is going to be as new as any idea can be.
There are two big components to approaching this kind of situation that I think help with sorting out what makes your story something other than fan fiction of the thing that inspired you.
First off, give yourself space to think. Take a week or two to let the idea roll around in your head before you dedicate yourself to writing it. You might find that it evaporates, that it really was just your brain wanting to replicate the really good bits of the thing that inspired you, without much working beyond that. That’s okay. But sometimes a bit of space will let the parts of this idea that are yours sink in and solidify.
Then you move on to step two, figuring out what in this idea is important to you. Think about the key elements that make you want to write this thing, and jot them down, see how far you can work along the lines of your own interests, your favourite details, the emotions and images that you want to capture in this piece.
When you’ve worked on it long enough and stuck to the things that are deeply important and pleasing to you, you’re going to come out with something that probably bears little more than a passing resemblance to the thing that inspired you. Maybe they would sit happily together in the same genre, or maybe there are some tonal qualities that both share, but in bringing your personal preferences and thought processes to the piece, you turn it into your own.
It’s a little bit funny to get this question, actually. The manuscript I’m currently working on (and nearly finished the first draft!) was spawned when I had read through a publisher’s entire catalogue of a certain type of story. I got to the end of the list and thought ‘but I want to read more of those!’ and after a couple of days moping, I realised that the only way I was guaranteed to get more would be to write it.
I thought about what my favourite things in those stories were, and about the stuff that I didn’t like so much, and I imagined what the ideal story I would have wanted to read would have been like, and I sat down and wrote it. The story I’ve written definitely has a lot in common with those books I was reading, but at the same time, it’s a product of my own imagination and my own interests.
Essentially, I think, in this kind of situation it boils down to working hard to cultivate the story that you want to tell, and running with the elements that you personally find interesting and appealing. 
Don’t fall into the trap of trying to replicate the thing that inspired you, but let it be just that: inspiration.
Think about the difference between Macbeth and The Lord of the Rings, the scope of the stories, the genre, the format, the pacing. But a significant part of The Lord of the Rings  was inspired by Macbeth. Anecdotally, after seeing a performance of the play, Tolkien was annoyed at the way that Shakespeare handled the resolution of the prophesy about Macbeth.
Compare:
MACBETH     Thou losest labor.As easy mayst thou the intrenchant airWith thy keen sword impress as make me bleed.Let fall thy blade on vulnerable crests;I bear a charmèd life, which must not yieldTo one of woman born.
MACDUFF     Despair thy charm,And let the angel whom thou still hast servedTell thee, Macduff was from his mother’s wombUntimely ripped.
Macbeth, Act 5, Scene 8
and 
A cold voice answered: ‘Come not between the Nazgûl and his prey! Or he will notslay thee in thy turn. He will bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond alldarkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shrivelled mind be left naked tothe Lidless Eye.' 
 A sword rang as it was drawn. 'Do what you will; but I will hinder it, if I may.' 
'Hinder me? Thou fool. No living man may hinder me!' 
Then Merry heard of all sounds in that hour the strangest. It seemed that Dernhelmlaughed, and the clear voice was like the ring of steel. 
'But no living man am I! Youlook upon a woman. Éowyn I am, Éomund’s daughter. You stand between me andmy lord and kin. Begone, if you be not deathless! For living or dark undead, I willsmite you, if you touch him.’
The Return of the King: The Battle of the Pelennor Fields 
The prophesy about the defeat of the Witch-King of Angmar, and the prophesy about Macbeth’s downfall are extremely similar in terms of phrasing, intent, and dramatic weight, but the execution is vastly different. It’s inspiration, not imitation, and if you have confidence in your ability to develop a story that reflects your own preferences and interests, then it will be able to stand beside its inspiration on equal footing.
I hope that helps!
*Ecclesiastes 1:9
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