#headcanons: the reaper most capricious

[cryptidsncurios]

sex+romance headcanons | accepting!

@soldierunderfire sent: 🍬 🎀 🎥

🍬 Is my muse a sub, dom, or switch?

Xigbar is primarily a dom, though tbh he can also switch into other roles if the setting is right, and makes for an EXCEPTIONAL service top. Being a straight-up sub though... pretty sure that time is behind him.

Kuja = Dom, with that capital D. He's the boss bitch, all about putting people in their place, and making them beg for it. ...though i won't lie i've always wanted to explore sweet virgin kuja with someone who's got him right twitterpated........ Also as supplemental info, along with this dominant role, he's a power bottom/pillow princess. He’s sooo high maintenance.

Kimbley is the type that needs control at all times, so he has to be the dominant force during any intimate interactions---unless some horrific entity wants to put him on his back, y/y???

🎀 Who would my muse sleep with if nobody ever had to know?

Okay so the thing is.... all of my muses are basically shameless?? Xig is the sort to shout he banged someone from the rooftops, Kimbley is completely indifference to sexual encounters---but hmm, mayyybe Kuja would have reservations about letting certain people see him certain vulnnnerable situationnns.....

Tbh though, I couldn't pinpoint one character in particular from their canons---SO THIS! COULD! BE YOUUU (with extensive plotting and communication)!!!

🎥 Who is my muse’s celebrity crush?

Just gonna use irl celebrities for this so

Xigbar: He's got a lot buuut, lemme juuust.. *spins the wheel* ...Serena Williams!

Kuja: Edward Saxby.

Kimbley: Cthulhu.

No I will never take criticisms.

[cryptidsncurios]

I know it’s spicy Sunday again but what if I just sat on my phone and talked about

~The Things That Make My Muses Wibbly 🥺~

Xig:

When you pay him a legit compliment. Sincerity is something he’s no longer used to so when someone is genuine with him about liking something about him?? Ya short circuited the dude

Forehead smooches. It’s so sweet and innocent

Tracing his scars. He might even tell you about some of them, if he likes you enough

Saying you want to actually listen to him, showing concern, asking if he’s okay. Other than rp experiences, within his time as XigBraig he’s gotten used to people ignoring his well-being

Returning his teasing. Silly banter. Not telling him to shut up. When you do, he doubles down out of spite. But being dumb with him?? Awwwww shucks

-

Kuja:

Kuja is perpetually in his own fairytale—this has been his way of coping for almost as long as he’s been alive. Playing into his fairytale fantasies gets him so twitterpated it’s unreal

Inviting him to places or events in a genuine manner. Of course he’s used to going to events where he’s expected to be, where the invite is just obligatory, but if this is an unexpected or unplanned invitation and you were actually THINKING about him?? Ooooh that’ll get him

Hand kisses. Holy hell

When intimate enough, gently stroking his hair. Playing with the feathers. Hard Mode: getting to also pet his tail. It’s a very sensitive subject for him due to his complex feelings about his origins, but the tail itself?? Also very sensitive. Might even get him to PURRR

Yes he’s a narcissistic bitch but his post-game verse that is his default state is all about trying to be better at observing beyond the trauma of his origins, and finding better things in life. And when people are nice enough to him he DOES notice

-

Kimbley:

Okay so. “Wibbly” doesn’t apply to this horrible kreetcher. So it’s more like…….. what gives him a calm sense of… enjoyment?? Being around another sentient being

I Guess???

So yeah.

It’s really all about being on his level: having the intelligence and wit that can keep up with his own. Delving into philosophy, scientific discussion, artistic pursuits, a grasp on linguistics—concepts that take a certain level of understanding. If someone can match his intellectual level, he’ll keep an eye on you

Someone being as merciless as him. They don’t necessarily have to be as murderous as himself, but someone who doesn’t sit on their hands and allow themselves to be bullied around

Because he WILL manipulate your ass

No hesitation

Uuuuuuhhhh????

Idk basically all the nice things that make Xig and Kuja melt but the absolutely opposite direction

Just be nastee like him

Also??? If you’re a literal monster. Bonus points across the board

[cryptidsncurios]

Randomly Generated Headcanons!

Rules: use this site to generate headcanons for your muse! (personally picking the ones that are true...ish)

Xigbar has been to prison.

Xigbar likes to eat straight coffee beans.

Xigbar could easily survive The Hunger Games.

Xigbar can kill you in an instant and will.

Xigbar believes in ghosts and insists on trying to summon one at every sleepover.

Kuja wears Hello Kitty socks. (in a modern/irl muse)

Kuja has chronic nightmares.

Kuja steals other peoples clothes. (if he likes them enouuugh)

Kuja is a great artist.

Kuja is the gay cousin. (or aunt/uncle.. zidane, where's ya kids at)

Kimbley has fallen asleep at their desk while working in the middle of the night.

Kimbley is not allowed to drink energy drinks. (don't let him get too many evils in in one day)

If Kimbley likes someone, they will give them a pretty rock. (Or something they might otherwise enjoy, as he can be lowkey crow-coded at times)

Kimbley got hit by a bus once. (unkillable bastard)

If the source media was a musical, Kimbley would be the one character that asks why everyone is singing.

tagged by: @kazeofthemagun tagging: you fucken do it and you tag me or i will explode into dust and particles

[cryptidsncurios]

The Muse Trifecta and Nature

Personal stuff got me thinking about the environment so here’s an off-the-beaten-path sorta headcanon sooo lessgoooo:

Xigbar

Doesn’t really think about nature much at this point. When he was still a wee Luxu he was awestruck by its wonder and beauty, but now Xig has too many other things to deal with. Like Fate and Destiny and BS Old Men Obsessed with the Apocalypse or Whatever. So he enjoys it, but like.. at a normal level. Hiking and camping and birdsong is cool tho, and when an animal is cute, it's just... it's cute okay, let an old man think a baby bunny is cute :/

Kuja

ADORES nature—but only for its aesthetic value, in canon and in AUs. In his main verse, he even has a menagerie in his Palace that works as a biome and is thus self-sustaining—located underground so it’s like… magical and fantastical and gigantic—with an artificial “sun” and so on. Of course, he only cares to curate it with the ~loveliest and most ~enchanted flora and fauna, and is very picky about the color palette. In the end, it's really all to cater to his personal vanity.

Kimbley

Perhaps a shock and surprise, but he's actually legitimately fascinated by nature. ...Though, admittedly it’s on a rather morbidly objective level, his primary interests involving witnessing growth, death, and decay. ...And uh, to clarify, though, all three stages apply to plants, and only the latter two apply to animals (but we’ll not step into describing that territory here).

This intrigue started all the way back in his youth, where he showed an affinity for studying all the flowers and bugs around the town, and was given a space in the shed next to his house, all to himself, to nurture plants and collect various insects, which he would pin to boards once they died, and his dad thought this was all great because wow! He’s not causing trouble everywhere he goes! And isn’t threatening the other kids! Which was why I pulled him out of school! But of course dad eventually found out it was hardly an innocent hobby that stopped at just insects and was actually MUCH WORSE than he could have imagined. :| One thing leads to another and his dad is dead, oops. But hey, he’s now got a whole shelf of nature-oriented books, and his alchemical notes are in a book disguised as a botany textbook!

How cute, right?? Haha… ahhhhh..... :/

[cryptidsncurios]

What Tarot Card Are You?

-> Xigbar

The Devil

Restriction is not so terrible a thing as you think it is. One must not always be shackled to be prudent. You could use a set of handcuffs in your life, my love. Shall I forge them for you? We could be tied together, you and I. Maybe then you would not want for so many things. Maybe if you were drip fed what you wanted, you would only focus on the next drip, instead of the wide world of things there are to want. You consume what you love, you terrify the things you want. You have chewed your way through your life and you are still hungry. The old woman holds out a key. The iron around your wrist is so very heavy.

-> Kimbley

Death

A cheery woman’s voice chimes from above. "Game over! Please restart and try again." The old woman holds a baby in her arms and makes to pass it to you. Will you take it?

-> Kuja

Justice

What would you do to ensure justice? You know full well I don’t speak of lofty ideals and courts and magistrates, dearest. What would you do to those that hurt you? If I dropped them in your lap, what would you do? What kind of pain could you possibly inflict upon them? You are right to do so. You are right to want to do so. Ignore the screaming, dearest, you are the hand of justice now, and they hurt you. Do not look too closely at their faces, dearest. You are within your rights. You spell out your own rights, now. Are you happy about it? Are you certain that this is the right person you hold by the hair? Does your anger hurt less now?

--

tagged by: i found it on the dash but i can't remember who did it but thank you for introducing this meal tagging: uuuuuuuuuuuh y'all, do it, then tag me B)

[cryptidsncurios]

okay so i'm currently hinging all of my unhingedness on my modern au for my horrid trifecta for definitely specific reasons hhshsngh and i've been thinking about what their carrrs arrre so lessgoooooo

xigbar:

a grey 1980s eldorado cadillac convertible. the pic is for the make model---it's actually beat all to hell and, as i said on his previous blog, "would likely make a vintage car aficionado burst into tears"

kimbley:

1970s black cadillac fleetwood miller/meteor landau three-way hearse. it's kept clean and pristine at all times despite the countless blood splatters it has seen

kuja

okay listen. i'm not saying that he would have a golden palanquin on hand for his various dramatic entrances---

buuuuut when he has to go via wheels...

a purple e-type jaguar. unlike xig and kimbley, he's all about being overtly flashy and having everyone gasp at how gorgeous his ride is. he also prefers to have a chauffeur because.. yknow.... that's How He Is

[cryptidsncurios]

So this is a very important and kinda heavy headcanon I’ve been sitting on for some time.. because it’s just difficult to relay and like, fully articulate but..

I think it’s time.

If and When My Muses Would Wear Cowboy Hats, Depending on Verse / AUs

-> Xigbar

He somehow became the cowboy out of this horrific trifecta, but there are certain nuances as to when he would wear them due to the universe he's in:

Anything related to canon - If he's in his Org uniform, no, because there's like, a dress code or something?? But if he's in civvies or whatever, listen, I'm not saying that it's an option, but if we get that red bandana to go with it? A LOOK.

Modern / Werewolf / Pantheon / Demon - It's not a necessity, but if it goes with the ensemble, hell yeah.

Cryptid - In this one, he's really more like an Age of Fairytales Luxu that never went out into the world and just stayed in a mossy, overgrown little forest so like, cow? Boy? Hmm. Maybe if he meandered out into the human sphere, he'd pick one up and immediately vibe with it

Borderlands / FFVII / RE - Obligatory. That thing is on his head at all times. And hot diggity damn, does he look good in it.

-> Kuja

Unless it was for some performance, to complement an aesthetic, or it was extremely expensive and bedazzled, in all verses and AUs, he would rather be caught dead than have something so dreadful placed upon his perfect crown of hair.

-> Kimbley

No. Absolutely not. Across the board.

[cryptidsncurios]

Btw feel the need to mention this, and I have stated it before on Kuja’s previous blog, but in reference to my last art post, Kuja’s waist is not naturally that small. This has been achieved through waist training and intense corsetry, done over many, many years. So when the corset is off, his midsection is most definitely more normal in appearance.

[cryptidsncurios]

okay but js, in all his verses save his irl / non-magical au, kuja has a tail. this is important. in a lot of ways.

[cryptidsncurios]

Muses’ Mad Lad Levels (On a Scale from 1 to 10)

Kimbley: typically like… a 3-ish?? His muted demeanor, while flavored with the occasional sarcastic remark or mischievous quip, doesn’t mean he’s displaying outright ~madness on a regular basis, so the level is usually pretty low. However…. There ARE times his behavior can spike into a manic, murderous state, and then it’s like.. 10’s across the board. The Lad has Madded to a degree that’s no longer delightful and playful. The danger is REAL. Pls stay away.

Kuja: honestly, Kuja isn’t one to engage in behaviors that he knows are beyond his immediate control. He’s not the sort to take risks, and is all about self-preservation—no death wishes here. But I guess verbally he can be a pissant, which can lead to possible harm upon himself?? So honestly, let’s put it at a 1, mayyybe 2 when he’s feeling particularly haughty and naughty.

Xigbar: 10 times whatever largest number you can think of. Yeah.

[cryptidsncurios]

On the one hand, Kuja IS v kiss deprived and emotionally touch-starved and suffering from a need for a closeness he’s never known. But on the other hand, if you ever even THINK about touching him with your filth he will be absolutely INFURIATED and kick the hell out of you if you’re lucky enough to not get burned alive

[cryptidsncurios]

The Likelihood of My Muses Receiving a Redemption Arc

Kuja

If we're talking about during the events of the game?? Very likely "no." He's so locked into his own self-centered mentality of gaining power and being the best and destroying Garland and ruling Gaia and then... yknow.... *cough*destroying the universe*cough*..... he's too much of a narcissistic, insecure mess to even begin to get his footing on the concept of turning over a new leaf.

However, if we're talking about post-FFIX Kuja?? Where he had his little "aha" moment before his "death," and, despite being a damn drama queen about it ("I don't deserve to live after all I've done. I'm useless to this world." Oh woe is him) came to the realization that there's more to life than just himself?

Well... admittedly, he'll always be a narcissist to some degree, always dramatic, always thinking of himself first. One does not live for 24 years with such stunted emotional growth to just magically change overnight.

But now that he's been given this second chance, he's carried that little "aha" moment with him, and he's a smart cookie entirely capable of learning---maybe not outright empathy, but at least he can grasp the concept of sympathy. Even though he would still have some difficulty putting himself into other people's shoes due to his lack of experience and couldn't totally relate on the same level, he can still see someone's happiness or hardships and somewhat understand what it is they're going through.

(And tbh I have personally headcanon'd in that verse that he's begun using some of his wealth to help out various folks that need it, does some odd jobs in Lindblum and Alexandria and, when he travels, does his best to learn from others rather than cloistering himself to his own personal interests.)

However... it does bear repeating: Kuja has some very intense emotional issues. Thus, ultimately, I feel it would depend on outside influences---he meets good people, finds some positive experiences, he could grow into a beautiful blossom that lives a full, happy, healthy life.

But if not... well. He could become even worse.

It just depends, I suppose---but the likelihood of being able to find a new purpose for himself in his post-FFIX verse is fairly high.

Xigbar

As of now, due to the ongoing nature of the KH series, Xig is still a big ol' wild card. However, just looking at what I've interpreted of him... it's another case where it could go either way.

Despite his constantly casual attitude and nonchalant behavior---that eternally idgaf clownery---Xigbar is... for lack of a nicer way of saying it, a deeply broken individual. He began this journey as Luxu: this hopeful servant of Light, desperate for everyone to be saved---but now, he's lived for centuries, hopping through body after body, basically at the mercy of a Fate that he fully doesn't understand.

Regardless of what's to canonically come, I envision two paths for Xigbar:

The first is where he becomes the Ultimate Villain of the next arc, seeking out the destruction of the Master and the Foretellers and everyone that dares to get in his way, gaining his revenge and finally NOT keeping his power levels at 0.03% of his full abilities (I cannot be unconvinced of this, it is The Truth).

The second?? He becomes the Weird Uncle Guy who sorta tags along but is still a snarky nuisance to everyone, all while subtly showing off how super OP he is.

So... in summary, again, since KH is ongoing... it's a half-and-half kinda deal.

Kimbley

No. Absolutely not. He's a cannibal serial killer mass murderer. No redemption for him.

[cryptidsncurios]

Kimbley: can’t do a split

Kuja: can do basically any split you can think of

Xigbar: pls don’t ask him to do any kind of split, all of his joints will crackle and creak and distort him into a pile of Eldritch bones

[cryptidsncurios]

@mielmoto mentioned stealing so here’s a very brief rundown about my muses and stealing! :D

Xigbar: doesn’t really have the need to steal these days, but did in past lives, in order to adapt to various situations. All in all though, he honed this skill and is VERY amazing at doing so—and of course it is always ethical to Steal from the Rich.

Kuja: stealing makes him feel delightfully powerful. And after all, he deserves what he wants. So why not just take it? It’s never piddly little things, though: if you’re going to be a thief, you must be one of grandiose standards. But of course, if someone steals from him, his forgiveness is reduced to less than zero.

Kimbley: he just steals because it’s fun, and he’s really, really good at it. Pickpocketing is a skill he pursued at a young age, during his time in juvie, and he’s been perfecting the art of it ever since. But just as the others, it’s not like he’s stealing candy from babies (though the notion is amusing); it’s only objects that he deems useful that he bothers in snatching.

[cryptidsncurios]

kuja: thoroughly enjoys vday bc all the gifts he receives from his admirers

xigbar: likes vday since holidays allow him to cause mischief to some degree (not that he has to be allowed, of course)

kimbley: when do we get a holiday for murder? B(