#hekate.txt

[hekateinhell]

Can you please show me Darcy Destroyer of Bedding? Thx

Darcy, Destroyer of Bedding:

He's my Lescat. ♥️

[hekateinhell]

BREAKING CHARACTER REAL QUICK FOR A SLEEP SUPPLEMENT PSA FOR MY FELLOW VAMPIRES AND NIGHT OWLS:

so I've had chronic insomnia since early childhood and the only thing that helps me fall asleep without the "oh, I've been drugged" feeling is melatonin

and never once have I seen any instructions on the bottle anything beyond "take at or before bedtime"

EXCEPT

my doctor tells me last week that you're not supposed to do this otherwise it really fucks with your circadian rhythms! apparently the optimal time to take melatonin is around sunset (if you want to be asleep by 10pm-12am) because darkness is what naturally stimulates the brain to secrete melatonin

taking it too late (i.e., past 9pm if you intend to sleep around 11pm and wake up at 7am) can majorly screw up your circadian rhythm and keep you feeling groggy and sleepy af well into the day!!! which explains a lot for me personally — not the whole picture but certainly some of it! 

so what I've been doing is I take my regular dose as soon as I notice it's dark outside (around 7:45pm these days) and I start getting sleepy around 10pm-11pm depending on the day I've had. I'm fucking full on passing out by midnight, like phone falling on my face, gotta sleep now. and my sleep isn't perfect but it's a lot better than it was! I get a solid unbroken 6-7 hours stretch which is huge for me and I don't feel like death warmed over needing both vyvanse and caffeine to even think about functioning!

anyway if you already knew this then GOOD FOR YOU BUDDY WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME AT ANY POINT IN THE PAST 15 YEARS and if not, I hope you try it out and it helps even a bit! 🖤

[hekateinhell]

whenever you're being mean to me this is who you're being mean to

[hekateinhell]

Just woke up and I'm thinking about this AU I've been tossing in my brain for over a year now thanks to a Maid Cafe AU prompt over @priapus-at-the-gate. This isn't really a proper maid cafe fic though, like Armand's working there but he uses it as a way to meet clients for fetish work.

I had the idea to structure it as a one-shot with five different sections, one section per client. So there's Marius on Mondays, Santino on Tuesdays, Lestat on Wednesdays, Louis on Thursdays, and Daniel on Fridays. And I wanted each guy to correspond to a couple specific kinks!

Marius: I don't know if Marius and Armand ever actually leave the cafe but Marius comes in every Monday and all he wants is a private room where he can perch Armand on his knee in that skimpy maid outfit and order the entire sweets menu and two jugs of milk and feed him like a child until his stomach is protruding and sloshing. Not sure whether or not they fuck (uncomfortably - for Armand) afterwards. Armand views this as feederism but to Marius it's caretaking, perhaps even age play--the verdict is still out.

Santino: I'm going to have to consult with the Santino girlies (gnc) on this one but I'm thinking something to with flagellation and sensory deprivation. Maybe even breath play. But I can't decide if I want Santino doing to Armand or Armand doing it to Santino.

Lestat: Lestat's the young, bratty, famous rockstar who walked into the cafe one day and without even knowing whether or not Armand was inclined to do fetish work, offered Armand an obscene amount of money to step on him and degrade him, amongst other stuff. There will also be crying and mommy kink. Maybe Lestat will cry for his mommy, idk yet.

Louis: Louis is a bit of an echo of Santino's deprivation kink but he's nowhere near as extreme. Louis prefers to edge himself and he'll never remove his clothes or let himself cum or even be touched, but he's one of two of the clients Armand would trust in his home, and Louis pays a pretty price to spend the day as a silent, passive observer in Armand's apartment. Watching him clean, see a movie, cook, shower, masturbate, and sleep. Never interacting with him or saying a word aside from a warm 'Hello' and 'Thank you, see you next week.'

Daniel: I wanna open with Daniel as being the guy who pays Armand to spend the day with him and pretend to be his boyfriend aka The Boyfriend Experience™️! They go on dates, they cuddle, they play video games, Armand meets Daniel's mom, they fuck, etc. BUT THEN at the end it's revealed that Daniel really is Armand's boyfriend. Sometimes he even fucks him in front of Louis.

[hekateinhell]

I just need to get something off my chest real quick, there's really no need to read this unless you want to because you're bored lmao.

So I used to be really good at answering the asks I got. I wouldn't say I answered all of them, but I think overall I had a good ratio for a long time! And I loved it! I think the asks feature is the best thing that tumblr has to offer as a social media platform (god knows just about everything else sucks).

I loved getting asks and answering them and it's a great way to talk to others in our little fandom bubbles and trade thoughts and insights with one another. My mental health did take quite a few hits in the past several months, and part of that was real life (school, sickness, death in the family) and part of that was bullshit fandom drama.

But it just occurred to me yesterday that the reason I'm nowhere near as prolific in answering the asks I get is because I have always put so much effort into putting disclaimers behind all my meta, walking on eggshells so people won't throw tantrums every time I share an opinion they don't like.

And you know what? That just made me an nervous, erratic person afraid of her own tumblr shadow. The thought of having to do all the work to put ten thousand disclaimers behind everything I say so some asshole won't vague me because I accidentally hurt their feelings just made me not want to reply to anything at all. It's fucking exhausting having to think of every scenario in which people might interpret whatever you're saying (about fictional characters may I remind you) in the worst light possible.

In the end all that time and effort I put into censoring myself—because I try to be a nice person, I don't want anyone to feel bad because of me, regardless of the fact that that's been never my intention—in the end none of that mattered! There's people that have been vaguing me for almost two years now and it's not like I go seeking out this information but it's a small fandom and I stumble over it on another blog or some shit every once in a while.

Agonizing over whether or not some random is going to interpret everything I say in the worst possible faith and have a fit on main about my shit takes and make a block list of people who interact with my posts is just so stupid honestly, and trying to censor myself didn't do me a shred of good. People still regularly call me names and insult my intelligence because of the characters I ship, the meta I write, and the kinks I enjoy talking about. It doesn't even matter if I've been active recently or not, they're still mad about stuff I said ages ago! I can't win!

So from now on I'm just to do my best to break this depressing old habit and be online without being apologetic and diminishing my own opinions, answer asks however the hell I want without feeling obligated to coddle a bunch of grown ass adults, and if people want to cry about it, there's a box of tissues in the corner. Go nuts. ♥️

[hekateinhell]

spent all week in writer's block hell with imposter syndrome and now at 12:15 i'm starting to have fic thoughts again but i've already taken the meds that makes me drowsy so i'm useless

but i'm nervous lol because i want to make egg fic graphic and gross and lean into the gothic horror elements more but idk if people are wanting/expecting something more cutesy 🤧

[hekateinhell]

Last Line Tag Game! ✨

Don't wanna share this one out of context, so here's the whole paragraph sorry 🤧 from the egg fic for MerMay VC! 🐠

Back by the shoreline, Lestat clung to the creature’s waist as he ground his face against its tail. Slippery jewel-like scales digging into his temple as he sought to catch his breath after the climax, picking up his stories where he’d left off. How utterly novel to be granted a listening ear, or even a semblance of one, for the first time in his young life. The creature’s delicate fingers threaded through Lestat’s yellow hair, slowly untangling his sun-dried curls, gentle and painstaking as a patient mother tending to her child until he began shuddering uncontrollably once more, biting down into his lower lip to suppress a needy whine—unaccustomed as he was to the tenderness laced in each caress.

ty @lovevamp @teethingpains @bubblegum-blackwood @leslutdepointedulac for the tag! 🩵 tagging @covenofthearticulate @apoptoses @rainbowcarousels @birdblacksocialclub @aunteat @bluehairandproverbs + anyone who wants to!

[hekateinhell]

since I'm not celebrating christmas this year and the dash is DEAD, if any of you guys are in a similar boat or just scrolling tumblr to avoid your families, feel free to goof off in my asks with silly/serious/smutty/whatever-is-on-your-mind VC stuff 🥹

[hekateinhell]

what if i wrote armand/lestat/marius omegaverse au with catboy elements

[hekateinhell]

i'm in the mall drinking taro bubble tea and they're playing 2000s mcr and then i'm gonna go to hot topic and see what i can make cute enough to wear to a lesbian vampire wedding and i'm posting about it on tumblr dot com

lestat was so right when he said we never really change we just become more fully what we are

[hekateinhell]

so there's an in-person bookclub thing in my city and they're gonna do iwtv soon but i'm torn on whether or not to go because like i'm sure it's just gonna be NORMAL people who are gonna talk gothic horror for one (1) afternoon and then move on with their lives

and then there's me who's like... WELL YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT I'M LIKE I DON'T THINK I'M FIT TO DISCUSS VC AROUND PEOPLE IN ANY SORT OF RESTRAINED CAPACITY

[hekateinhell]

in my head i'm still a sixteen year old vampire nerd but then someone mentions setting me up with their friend's son who is a single dad and i'm forced remember that i am in fact a twenty-nine year old vampire nerd

[hekateinhell]

just had the 2am epiphany that I do in fact ship loustat and it's thanks to two people in particular

[hekateinhell]

forever obsessed with this gorgeous little coffin @somevagrantchild gifted me, never have I felt so seen 🥹♥️🖤 look at all the little details she included! and the quote! it's perfect!!!

[hekateinhell]

know i'm still thinking about the oviposition ficlet btw

[hekateinhell]

tva is unironically my favorite vc book lmao maybe because it's the first one in the series I ever read almost twenty years ago or maybe because it's the only book from armand's perspective — probably both of these!

but also going through anne's drafts and diaries at tulane proved that she was so fucking obsessed with developing his voice, it was so important and necessary to her! there's so many things in her drafts she changed and shifted around, expanded upon or deleted altogether (for better or worse lol can't say that I would have made every single one of those decisions but hey, armand isn't our OC, he's hers).

all this to say, anne put so much into armand and into crafting his story, and I genuinely love the final product for what it is!