#helphelphelphelphelphelphelp

[ieatwalls246]

I played postal for the first time the other day and now I don't know if I want to be postal dude or if I want to impregnate him and make him have my babies.

[gorie-talks-a-lot]

Currently shitting a brick in my tattooists waiting room.

This neck tattoo is gonna hurt like a BITCH.

[chompisanerd]

helphelpHELPHELPHELPHELPHELP AUDITION TOMORROW . HELP ?

[fyouimgay2]

@raedioactive HELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELP

The word disaster comes from Latin and originally means “without a star”

James often called himself a disaster, but he only truely felt like one after 1979

[saturnzwrld]

helphelphelphelphelphelphelp

hidehidehidehidehidehidehide

Let's play a game, shall we? How about a game of.. Hide and Seek.

You hide. I seek.

Let's see how this goes.

Your worst nightmare, The Author.

[theoreticaltranstherian]

I dont know what's real I don't know what's reality I can't tell I dontsontodn ysonysontdonyonydontsont know I don't knownoeknoeknoeknoe don't know don't know dontknowdontokoen I don't know I'm gonna kill myself I don't onpnpnonononono I don't know please someone j can't do anything I'm stuck I'mdead I'm horrible I'm nonononononnonononononon no fucl no no fuckduckfucjfuckfycu help helphelphelphelphelphelphelp I'm dead helphelphelp I don't know I don't know help me please I'm stuck I don't know it's all so loud I hear so many thoughts and people and words and curses and I see the shadows and they're grabbing my face and arms and they winy let go and i can't do anything all I can do is ignore then and I'm stuck and pleasepleadeplease please someone tell them stop please it's loud it's all happening so fast it's the end I'm dead they're gonna kill me it's gonna kill me the trees gonna crush my house please someone help I just wany a friend I just need a hug please I'm begging you someone please please please fuck please help me I'm so scared I'm going to kill myself to kill them only I see them why don't they see them they can't be fake they can't be I'm not crazy there's no way they have to be real I fele them getting closer please help me please nonononpnonofuckfuckfucjfycj they're coming please someone stop them THEYRE FUCKING COMING I DONT LNOW WHAY TO DO THE MORE AHE PLAYS MYXIC AND THE WEARHER GETS WORSE AND THEY SIT UPDTAIRS AND I DOTN M9VE THWYRE GETTIGN CLOSER BUT I CANT MOVE B3CAUSE IF YHE SHADOWS PLEASE THEU HAVE ME PLEASE STOP THEM IM STUCKTUCKSTUCKSTUVKSTUCK PLEASEPLEASEPLEADE SOMEONE TELL ME IM NOT CRAZY PLEASEPLEAZE IM NOT CRAZY IM NOT CRAZY SHES CRAZY THEYRE CRAZY BUT ITS NOT ME PLEASE PLEASE STOP STOP STOP NO IM NOT CRAZY right please it's not me is it I'm not crazy they're lying they do see them they just ignore it please they're COMING THEYRE COMING THEYRE COMING THWYRE GOING TO KILL ME THEYRE GOING TO RIP ME LIMB FROM LIMB AND TRAP ME.IN ANOTHER HUMAN BODY TO PUNISH ME FOR YHE SINS I CANNOT ATOP COMMITING BECAUSE IM AN INHERENTLY FLAWRD BEING AND ALL I CAN DO IS EXIST AND ILL NEVER REMEMBER NOT TO DO THESE THINGS AND IM TRAPPED AND THEYRE COMING OT JUDGE ME PLEASR PLEASE PLEASE HELP NONONONONO FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK THEYRE COMING NO NO HELP GELP ME NO HELP BPLEASE NO NO KONIM DUING HELP IM DYING I DONT KBIW WHAT TO FO IM GOUNG TO DIE I. SO TEAPPED AND SCARED I DONT WANT TO DIE YET PLEAS EI HEAR THEM THEYRE OUTSIDE THEYRE BREAKING THE TREES WITH THEIR LIGHTNING TO KILL ME AND. RUSH ME AND PUNC8H ME I DESERVE IT I DESERVE IT I I IDIDO I DO DODODODODOD HELP JOBONONONONONO PLEASE IM SPRRY I DIDNY NEAN TO IM SUCH A BPRRIBLE FUCKFUCKFYCJFYCJ I SHOULD just die shouldn't I I deserve it anyway help me please anyone reading this please I'm not the only one who sees them right please I know I'm delusional but I can't be i can't be I can't I can't can't I can't I can't I canr they're real they're real they are they are thy ate atnry are I swear I swear they are they are they are they are they arerarrarreareareareare I'm dead I'm dying please whoever is there reading this tell me I'm real tell me I'm not crazy please I'm begging you I don't know what's going on but I'm going to die please I'm sorry

[g1rldrool]

my tummy hurts so bad guys help me helphelphelphelphelphelphelp

[informationsuperhighwayclub]

HE'SHURTINGME

HELP

HELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELP

HECLAWSATMYHEADLIKENAILSONACHALKBOARD

Wrong.

SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP

ITDOESNTALLHAVETOMAKESENSE

Shut up.

HEEEEEEEELLLP

SHUT UP!

stop this.

YOU BACK OFF!

i cant let you do this to us.

to her.

You know who you are. You know this is wrong. It'll all come crashing down soon.

we can fix this, together.

Not with her.

IMGOINGTOGETBETTER

IMGOINGTOBEMEAGAIN

And where was that again you heard of?

Are you going to get better?

Or will your frailty get in the way again?

[oldfaiths]

I shed my wings to become more. I will never be who I once was. This frightens me.

[canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit]

my personal hell: the Friends theme playing in a diner as a siren goes by and I am forced to speak while going nonverbal, sitting in a corner where I can barely move but can still hear the dialogue of said Friends Show and see my family's judgemebtal/concerned faces

[pentaghast]

sun ending has done something to me and i dont trust it

[mutinyduo]

i was gambling my lifw away for a makima figurine then she was just gone we called her and sent her a locatuon shes not here shes norw here shesn nto here

oh my fucking god i lost my sister in shinjuku help

SUNNY HOW DID YOU LOSE HER

[a-rude-elven-mage]

POSTER TRAILER SPACE HUSBAND !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[janes-a-charted-stan]

helphelphelphelphelphelphelp ok omg guys 1 day somethings happening ajkdfhuhfsfadkjsd i’m calm i promise. no i’m not i’m so excited omg ok

[ducktracy]

180. the lyin’ mouse (1937)

release date: october 16th, 1937

series: merrie melodies

director: friz freleng

starring: mel blanc (cat), billy bletcher (lion), berneice hansell (mice)

this cartoon debuts a REALLY helpful bonus (that you can’t see on account of the blue ribbon re-issue): the story man is finally credited! no more guessing games as to who wrote what! of course, some valuable details are still omitted (backgrounds, layouts) which can sometimes be deciphered with a bit of sleuthing, but this is a nice start. i’ll start crediting the story, animation, music, layouts/backgrounds, etc. once the title cards move to the three part formula (that is: title, credits, director’s credit), which is sometime in the mid ‘40’s. for now, a little mouse retells the fable of the lion in the mouse (with some loony touches, of course) to a hungry cat in an attempt to satiate the cat’s appetite for the rodent.

berneice hansell’s shrieks accompany a still of the basement where our tale takes place. fade and zoom into a poor little mouse caught in a mouse trap, trying and failing to free its tail from the iron bar. the mouse’s cries of “helphelphelphelphelphelpHELP!” do nothing but attract unwanted attention--a quick, speedy pan that recalls the techniques of frank tashlin’s reveal a hungry cat licking its chops in anticipation. i personally love the cat’s design, the coloring on the eyes especially is really unique and stands out. the mouse, on the other hand, looks like all of the previous freleng mice that have dominated his cartoons, especially around the 1936 season. 

the mouse begs for the cat to spare him. i love the purposeful indifference on the cat’s part--humming nonchalantly (the humming provided by billy bletcher as opposed to mel blanc) as he ties a napkin around his neck and places the mouse between two slices of bread, even salting him. tugging at the heart strings isn’t enough to quench this kitty’s appetite. the mouse’s attempts at bargaining are soon replaced with giggles as he’s slathered with mustard (gotta go the whole nine yards!), soon silent as the cat prepares to take a bite of his mouse-wich. thankfully for the mouse, its tail is still caught in the trap, and he’s yanked forcefully out from the sandwich just as the cat prepares to take a bite.

like always, berneice hansell’s deliveries are all too amusing to listen to as he proposes a deal with the cat. if the cat spares him, he’ll do a good deed in return. the cat doesn’t buy it (”ha! dat’s rich. a mouse help a cat. ha!”), prompting the mouse to ask if he’s ever heard of the story about the lion and the mouse. hansell’s deliveries are in tip top form as she eagerly exposes the plot, her voice reaching frequencies that even dogs would strain to hear. the gaspy breaths of excitement are another plus. tex avery would usually be the one to use her vocals as a punchline, pushing the audience’s limits on how long they can stomach her squealing (and i use that affectionately!), but you can certainly see friz also taking that approach here. likewise, the mouse’s voice reaches an opposite extreme, thundering in a low bellow as he describes the great, big, bad lion. i could be wrong, but the dimensional acting on the mouse, particularly the close-ups, feel like the work of bob mckimson to me.

though amusing, the opening portion of the cartoon does teeter on the sweet and sentimental side more than it does funny and witty. thankfully, we get more of the good stuff during the actual retelling of the story. the lion makes his grand debut, marching through a line of trees that bend to allow his threatening physique through. facing the audience, billy bletcher does his classic, bellowing voice as the lion introduces himself as the rip-snortin’-est lion in the whole world, going on an entire tangent all ending in -”est”, a mannerism that would be adopted by friz’s own yosemite sam years later. the animation of the lion is a bit distracting and clumsy, and i can’t help but wonder if that’s on the fault of the ink and paint department rather than the animator (or both). his mane in particular feels rather floaty and too geometrical. nevertheless, bletcher’s vocals are keen. to demonstrate just how large and in charge he is, the lion takes a deep inhale and exhale, causing an entire wind burst to blow the trees to and fro--even the grass rolls and unrolls like a carpet.

transition to a baby ostrich happily strutting along, the same ostrich reused from freleng’s plenty of money and you just a few years prior. the lion bellows its roar from offscreen, prompting the terrified ostrich to jab its head in the ground, lifting its head up (and a clump of dirt consequently hanging from its neck) and dashing off into the hills after the next roar. the scene does feel slightly out of place, transitions between scenes noticeable, but ken harris’ animation is always nice to see. the timing, at least, is very well done. the next scene, however, has more clumsy and conservative animation, featuring animals running away and back again to their water hole after being scared off by the lion. it beckons memories of past cartoon eras.

nevertheless, another hansell-voiced mouse (the eponymous mouse, that is) appears and is ready for some mischief making. he blows into a horn that is, to the animals, all to reminiscent of the lion’s roar. the animals of the jungle take off, including a turtle couple who jump in the same shell to escape, slightly comparable to another turtle couple in tex avery’s don’t look now just a year prior. 

of course, the mouse gets his just desserts when the mean ol’ rip-snortin’-est lion himself is right behind the mouse, watching him double over in squeaky hysterics. once the mouse realizes he’s about to become dinner (doing a nice little stretch take), he’s quick to drop his games, now whistling anxiously, a big, cheesy grin plastered on his face, taking a few cautious steps backwards. gorgeous personality animation. 

as the mouse pleas for his life, giving the ol’ “i have a wife and kids at home!” excuse, the lion is distracted by a smell radiating from off screen. a rotisserie chicken is conveniently placed in a bear trap, the trap labeled as the FRANK CLUCK EXPEDITION (a take on famed hunter frank buck). thankfully for the mouse, the lion lets him go, preoccupied with his plentiful poultry meal. the mouse zips away thankfully, only to zip right back at equal speeds and thank the lion before zipping away again. this gag would be used verbatim only 3 years later with freleng’s you ought to be in pictures, with porky in place of the mouse. coincidentally, both are animated by cal dalton, too. (thanks, devon!) the mouse DOES drop by one extra time to reassure the lion that if he ever needs help, he’ll return the favor.

thus cues the lion’s endeavors to pilfer the poultry. realizing all too quickly that simply reaching for the chicken will result in unwarranted decapitation of the arm thanks to the bear trap, he has to come up with something crafty. so, he opts to take the nonchalant approach, whistling and rocking back and forth unassumingly. the timing is very well executed as he pounces in a flash, reduced to a mere blur as he snags the chicken out from the clutches of the trap just in time. if you look closely, you can even spot some airbrush being used in conjunction with the speed lines.

unfortunately for the lion, what he fails to realize is that the chicken is rigged--the friendly folks behind the frank cluck expedition put a mouse trap inside the hollow chicken that clamps to the lions nose as soon as he gets a whiff of his not-so-future meal. however, an innocent lamb calls to the attention of the lion, distracting him from his pain.

the lamb is tied to a box that reads “FRANK CLUCK EXPEDITION -- lion trap no. 5″, pointing to a sign that encourages the lion to take it home free. the lion is enticed, but just as he goes to reach for the lamb’s neck, he recognizes the lion trap sign. instantly, he taps his foot, deep in thought, the whole scene rather reminiscent of freleng’s life with feathers in which sylvester does the same thing, pondering whether or not he should swallow a suicidal bird. the timing is much faster then, but the joke still lands even here. finally, the lion decides to dismiss the act all together, waving his hand away as he leaves. the pantomiming is excellent--no words are necessary to convey the dialogue happening in this scene. regardless, the lamb urges the lion to return, advertising signs about the health benefits of mutton. even the lush orchestration of “too marvelous for words” reaches its climax at the punchline--the lamb seductively displays its leg, the sign exclaiming “EAT LEG OF LAMB SAYS DR. KNOWIT”.

finally, the lion is convinced, and he grabs the lamb. as he does, the box advertising the frank cluck expedition opens, and a boxing glove socks the lion right in the face. great timing on friz’s part as a hunter wastes no time swooping in to tie the lion by the legs, posing triumphantly as a crowd takes photos and videotape the event for all to see. it all happens in a flash and unfolds quite well--the only downside is that the lion and hunter are subject to some DVNR (digital video noise reduction).

segue back to the present day, where the hungry mouse eager for the mouse to continue, invested in the story despite his harsh resistance against it prior. the detail of him sitting with his elbows on his knees like an eager little kid listening to a story is priceless, especially juxtaposted with the grating tones of mel’s voice as he urges “yeah? yeah? go on, go on! ‘den what happened?” 

“soooooooo...!”, we spot the lion caged up at the circus, a lion tamer cracking his whip and performing tricks for the audience. i always love looking at the crowd shots in the ‘30s and ‘40s cartoons, they’re so amusing and can sometimes even border ghastliness. in a callback to rudolf ising’s i love a parade back in 1932, ken harris does some excellent animation of the lion tamer placing his head in the lion’s open mouth, and, consequently, the lion placing his own head in the tamer’s mouth. the animation of both shaking their hands in triumph (and the hilarious drawing of the lion tamer opening his mouth wide) is great. ya gotta love the harris smears. 

“and ‘den, one night...” we get a shot of the mouse telling the story in the present as a means to transition scenes, a move that could have easily been achieved with just hansell’s narration and no animation. regardless, the lion sulks tearfully in his cage. however, as promised, the little brown mouse lives up to his word by surprising the lion at the cage, shushing him to keep quiet. carl stalling’s score of “old king cole” is lush and beautiful as the mouse chews his way through the wooden door of the cage, only stopping to begrudgingly spit out a nail. a lion sized hole is perfectly gnawed through the wood, and both the lion and mouse retreat away into the night, fleeing the circus once and for all.

“and that’s how the mouse saved the lion. now, won’t you let me go?” the brash, bold, grumpy cat from before is reduced to a tearful, sniveling sentimentalist as he frees the mouse, whimpering a pathetically hilarious “okay... i’m awfully sorry...” he’s even so kind as to give the mouse the piece of cheese that was used as bait.

the mouse displays the growth of warner bros. cartoons and their developing sense of identity as he zips away with the cheese, yelling “SUCKER!” and darting into the mouse hole. surprisingly, berneice hansell gives the line instead of your typical mel blanc shriek. the lip sync doesn’t align with the audio at all, however--the animation feels much more extreme than hansell’s delivery. i wonder if mel said the line originally, and they made a last minute change? who knows. nevertheless, the cat rams into the wall, failing to catch the mouse. instead, he turns to the audience and growls “can ya imagine that?” in an ode to tex avery’s porky the rain-maker. iris out.

while far from friz’s best, it’s far from his worse. it’s certainly much more enjoyable than his previous entry, dog daze. the actual retelling of the story is the best part, yet despite their nostalgic nature the cat and mouse scenes do hold up, especially the personality of the cat and the “SUCKER!” ending. that ending and the leg of lamb gag display the growing disenfranchisement with the disney roots of warner bros. cartoons. ever so slowly, the cartoons are finally making a name for themselves, and will continue to do so for years to come. 

some aspects of the short drag--the opening is particular slow--but they’re padded with amusing vocals, and i’m enamored with the cat’s design. it isn’t the most substantial in terms of story or momentum, but there’s plenty to be amused by. it does have its lively moments. carl stalling’s musical arrangements are gorgeous as always and a delight to listen to. overall, you could go either way, but i lean more towards the “give it a watch” side, especially if you’ve been keeping up with this journey and are acquainted with the cartoons of the past. friz has dozens and dozens of cartoons better than this one, but he also has dozens of cartoons worse than this. i say give it a leisurely watch!

the short is beautifully restored on HBOmax, where i got the screenshots from, but you can also settle for this print as well.

[sanglantromantique]

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