#hence jumping back into my comfort zone <3

[tuliptic]

My Way: Finding My Place in Adulthood

Don’t be afraid, dreams are everywhere, just keep going as I always have, this is my way.

Henlo adults here, this is another reading for y’all. This reading is specifically targeted to all adults: young adults to ease their minds; regular adults to get used to adulthood. Adulthood is really… Something… And this is coming from someone who’s turning 30 soon. I still have no grasp about what I’m doing, how I’m living my life, etc. Adulthood is still scary to me, though I have to say I’m seeing myself getting better and better day by day. Taking baby steps is important, as we all grow from what we experience.

Close your eyes, meditate on this topic and ask yourself the question: How am I supposed to move around in adulthood, being an adult? Breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once you’ve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.

Pile 1 - Pile 2

Pile 3 - Pile 4

Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. Also, I do not consent to my work or images being used by third parties on this platform or other websites as well.

Decks used: Luna Cat Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Linestrider Tarot Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck.

Pile 1: Don’t be afraid, dreams are everywhere

One card to represent you: The World

I feel like there’s some sort of fear and enlightenment here. Some of you have an idea of what you want to do or achieve in your life, some of you know your life purposes, most of you are content with how your life is right now and are just going with the flow. However, all have a certain discomfort in common, which is fear of uncertainty. Most here may have earth influence in your chart, where stability is needed, where you are able to hold certain control over your own life. What if I do this and I could no longer go back? What if I give up my job and pursue something else? You have the answers to these questions, but you’re not ready to take the first step because of how certain you are that things will not go as you planned and hence, you’re in a standstill. (PS: Some of you may be into spirituality as well, and you might be called to use this gift to achieve enlightenment for yourself and the people around you.)

1. What are the expectations I have for myself? - Four of Wands rx

For some reason, I feel that… You expect difficulties. You don’t expect or believe good things can come to you without lessons or pain. You believe in fairness and balance, that amazing things can only come to you if you put in the effort and work hard. Hence, you tend to not take certain opportunities either because you think you don’t deserve it or you don’t think you’re capable of it. In a sense, I’d say that this way of thinking has caused quite some conflict and tension, not allowing you to enjoy the peace and security you usually like. What has brought you comfort in the past is now hindering you to accept new happiness in.

2. Feasibility on achieving those expectations? - Seven of Cups rx

Seven of Cups is a card of illusion, but with it in reverse, it is a card of choice. This relates back to the first card pulled, the card to represent you. You know what to do, you are capable of doing it, but there’s fear holding you back. Or maybe, fears. To you, you’re not only jumping out of your comfort zone, but into a danger zone where you have no idea how to manage the risks. Accept your fears, let yourself fall, let yourself fail. Have courage, believe that you’ll still be able to stand up after the fall and grow better from it. You’ll be surprised with what you’re capable of.

3. What are my weaknesses and how do I compensate? - Death rx

This card here is very self-explanatory: You fear change. That’s it. You prefer stability over anything else, and you fear losing control over what you have. What is yours needs to remain yours. This may stem from insecurities that were caused by traumas when you were younger, may it be people leaving you, or being disappointed by others, or something else. It has definitely affected your thought process, your understanding of the world and your way around it. The first thing that came into my mind was therapy, because there are some deep-seated issues that you may have. You’ll need to identify your fear, the root cause of it, work it out, and step out to try something new, constantly regenerating yourself on the way.

4. What are my strengths and how do I get better at them? - Nine of Wands

You’re resilient. You may not think so, thinking that how you function is just the norm and everyone else does the same. No, you’re different. You have gone through a lot of things and those experiences help you manoeuvre yourself around the present issues, and you learn as you grind through the challenges presented. People may see you as an inspiration with how you manage to not dim your lights through the darkest nights. You need to know that you have a side like this, and that you’re able to encourage others through you being you. Shine. Accept yourself and shine brighter, be the inspiration you’ve wanted to be. You’ll be surprised with how things will fall in place and come to you.

5. What is it in adulthood that I should focus on? - Eight of Wands

I’d say building connections would help you in the long run. Eight of Wands is a card that talks about action, which is… Again, self-explanatory. But what sort of actions should you be taking? In what field? Connections and networking. I’d say most of you have a way with words, or some may even have 3H or 11H placements. By building a web of connections, you’re able to gather information and help from various parties that will help you to get on the right track. Some may even push you towards the direction that you want to head to. Be proactive in making friends, talking to people, and taking the first step. Once you throw yourself out, people will know you and will be able to provide the support you need. And then you can vroom your way.

6. What are the directions and advice that I need to know/hear? - Five of Pentacles rx

One comforting message here is that difficult times shall pass. You may think you overcame something but there’s more to work on, which you’ll realise that the issue you face is still affecting your decision making as of current. You’ve got to review your past and learn your lessons, know that you can’t afford to stay in this mindset for long. This card acts as a sign that it’s time for you to move from feeling insecure to a more adjusted mindset, which will be prompted when you see new perspectives. You will be receiving messages from your guides and higher selves in various forms. Trust your gut feeling, believe in every reason that makes you feel better.

Overall energy: The Tower, Five of Cups rx

The themes of lesson, growth and replacing things and values that no longer serve you. Liberation will come to you when you move past that phase that’s holding you back. Hmm… Lemme reword myself. This pile gives me the feeling of something promising is coming, but you’ll need to go through the lessons (aka accepting that good things can come to you without your expected cost, it’s alright to fail, the need to find out the root cause of insecurities, etc). Life will present opportunities to learn, and will bring in new people for you to grow together. You know you are loved. If you don’t know it, now you do. Believe it.

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Pile 2: Finally we begin

One card to represent you: The Empress

I would say that you have a gentle energy, you’re the person others go to when they’re feeling down or when they need some advice. You radiate a warmth that’s calming, providing a space of comfort for the hurt and wounded to rest and heal. You are intuitive, tho I have to say that your wisdom outshines it. It’s not just wisdom, it’s not just gentleness, but also a sense of belonging, a place where one returns to. Your intuition is what gives you the ability to see through things, people as well as the unknown. Some of you may have clair abilities, especially claircognizance. 

1. What are the expectations I have for myself? - Ten of Pentacles

I would say that you expect to build a life, build a family of your own, to be your own source of whatever you want. You do not want to rely on other people for things, especially financial abundance and happiness. You want to be your own provider so that you would feel secure with it, and that you’ll be able to contribute or give out what you have without needing to be conscious of how others look at you. There’s a hint of family themes among this, so it could also be you wanting to be the provider in your new found family without losing your own independence, if this makes sense.

2. Feasibility on achieving those expectations? - Ace of Swords rx

It’s doable, but it’s difficult. I feel that there’s quite some conflict between you and your family, resulting in you wanting to build a new family or to have your own found family. There’s this tension in you that is blocking a lot of blessings, I’d say. There’s a lack of clarity and undefined goals, preventing you from achieving success and happiness (depending on what you define them as). You will need to review your expectations, to set clear and measurable goals, only then you’ll be able to see your progress and further decide on how you want to proceed or to make changes along the way. Do not try to cover up facts or find excuses. You know that it’s not going to help you in the long run. Face it, accept it, work with it. 

3. What are my weaknesses and how do I compensate? - The Sun

Optimism is great, but being overly optimistic is not good. You tend to see the good side of things and may end up beautifying them, exaggerating them, or even fabricating them unconsciously. For some reason, I’m also seeing that you may be beautifying self-sacrificial tendencies, or attempt to attract people with your pain. You want to shine, want others to pay attention to you. Some of you may be prideful, but some would use whatever they’re “lacking” to attract attention. Example: Your friends use iPhone, and you use Android. Instead of saying you want to be different, you probably will go with the approach of “people who use iPhones are just keeping up with the trend and thinking that’s the higher end”, when in reality you can’t afford an iPhone. This is just an exaggerated example illustrated here for you to have an idea.

4. What are my strengths and how do I get better at them? - Death

Change is your forte. Some of you may not know it, but some of you do (and perhaps do not accept it). It’s not flexibility that we’re talking about, but more of an open-mindedness along with acceptance. Once you’ve overcome your weakness, you will be more open to listening to what others have to say, and forming your own opinion based on whatever information you’ve gathered (from others, from your own research, as well as updating outdated data). The transitioning phase will be smoother during then, when you shift from the old to the new. Right now, I’d say that there’s still a part of you who’s unable to accept that you’re wrong, or incorrect at certain things. There’s no fault in having pride over your knowledge, but if it is hindering you from improving, then you may need to work on that. 

5. What is it in adulthood that I should focus on? - The Emperor

Focus on your goals and what you want to achieve. For you, I’d say, one of your goals would probably be something that’s legacy related, may it be inheriting something (finance, career, skills, connections, etc.) or starting a new legacy (starting your own company, building network from scratch, starting to take up a very specific and niche role, etc.). I would also say that you’ll need to look straight ahead. The Emperor can’t afford to look around, only focusing on the path that’s in front of him where he tread carefully but boldly, carving the steps out for his people to follow (somewhat a legacy too). Do not be distracted, do not easily give in to temptation.

6. What are the directions and advice that I need to know/hear? - Eight of Cups rx

First thing I’d like to say is that your journey is going to be lonely. It’s not just going on that journey alone, but it’s something akin to a burden or a mission that you can’t tell anyone. You may have tried telling a family or a friend about it, and they don’t think it’s a big deal, resulting in you swallowing the pain alone, no longer willing to trust. The disappointment and disillusionment has uhhhh thicken around you. Think of them as fogs around you, and as they thicken, the more difficult it is for you to see your path. That. Communication with boundaries is very important for you right now, where you can put a balance between the socialisation and exposing yourself thoughtlessly. It’s difficult for some people, where you unknowingly overshare too much. Learn from it, find out a way that works for you. Open yourself to things, allow yourself to be open to inspirations from things and people around you.

Overall energy: Strength, Six of Swords rx

You’re strong, knowing where to go and how to reach your destination. Just that whatever that’s happening around you is preventing you from moving forward. You’re holding a lot of things back because whatever situations you’re in, but your passion and faith in life is strong enough to support you. You are doing your best with whatever you have right now, looking for opportunities in life’s challenges and learning the lessons. It is a difficult time, but have faith that things will turn for the better. Prepare your boat, and once the wind blows, set sail.

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Pile 3: No matter what I’m going my way, to the place I’ve dreamed of every night

One card to represent you: The Chariot

I would say that you’re someone who’s goal oriented. You know what you want and you'll work towards it. I would also say that you may be impatient at times, wanting to achieve things in a short time. It feels like you feel that you're running out of time, especially when you compare yourself to your peers. For example, people your age have been talking about career advancement while you're still figuring out what to do, or your friends are married with kids and you're still single and feeling miserable. You know you're on the right path at your own pace, and you appreciate your days and blessings, but sometimes you just feel anxious about being “left out”. 

1. What are the expectations I have for myself? - Three of Swords rx

You expect yourself to be healed from your wounds and traumas soon. You want it quick, you want it urgently, and you’re pushing yourself far more than you can deal with at the moment. You probably may have gone through some childhood traumas and you’ve left them as they are. It may be due to the society or environment you grew up thinking that whatever you experienced was normal (Asian families, perhaps?). You thought vulnerability was a fault until recent years, where you learn to accept and honour them, and from there you proceed to heal your inner wounds. You may have thought that once you’re done with Phase 1, you can immediately complete Phase 2 of your healing, and… Sorry to break it to you, it’s not gonna happen that way.

2. Feasibility on achieving those expectations? - Two of Swords

It feels like you’re asking yourself the question: Am I healed or not? And your answer to it is either yes or no. Which… Is not how healing works. Healing is a process; a journey, not a mathematical equation which is either right or wrong. You may think you’ve been healed but in reality, you may not have achieved that yet. You’re not seeing a lot of things yet, which is why you need to rely on your senses, especially hearing. You need to learn to listen to the whispers of others, may it be your friends or your guides. You are not alone, you have people accompanying you through this journey because you are loved. Healing is not linear, so take your time.

3. What are my weaknesses and how do I compensate? - The Fool rx, The Devil

I would say that you have expectations and you may think you’re living up to that, believing that you’re better and you live like it. … Lemme rephrase myself: You think you’re alright and that you’re living as how you expect yourself to be when you are not. It’s like you’re putting on a mask to deceive yourself and to show others that you’re doing fine. There’s this saying that you’ll need to fool yourself first if you want to fool your enemy. That’s you. You’re pretending and putting up an act, which will eventually cause your downfall to be greater than what you’ve experienced. Your insecurities are devils in disguise, which you probably know of. Now that you know of this side of yours, you will need to think and use your brain to figure out as you go. 

4. What are my strengths and how do I get better at them? - Four of Swords rx, Eight of Pentacles rx

I would say that you’re very action based, and you think a lot. One thing that’s special about you is that you know when to stop thinking. Unlike most people, once they start thinking, they spiral into their thoughts and have no way out. You, however, know when to stop and how to pull yourself out from that headspace. From there, you then use that energy and time to focus on earth-themed items, such as career, work, fame, building something, etc. You’re basically the healthy combination of brain and physical energy, making sure both of these aspects are taken care of, working on them when others are still trapped in their heads. If you think that you do not have this trait, maybe you can try it out. I believe all can achieve this, but your pile is able to tap into it easily as compared to others.

5. What is it in adulthood that I should focus on? - Four of Pentacles

Learning to focus on yourself, to put yourself first before others. I’m not sure if you’ve been called selfish for putting your needs above others, but you’re not. You can only share when you have extra/excess, and that’s when sharing becomes something comfortable and meaningful. Remember, you are not supposed to burn yourself to warm others. Let yourself have your own time, build connections with yourself and with others. Collaboration is something that you can work on, may it be work related projects or personal projects. Passion projects are things that will help you redirect your energy, and for you to keep yourself occupied when you realise your thoughts are jumbled up again with the excess energy.

6. What are the directions and advice that I need to know/hear? - Three of Cups

I would say that you will need to build your own home with people you trust in, with people you’re comfortable with. You may have gone through quite some family trauma, and your safe space may no longer lie with it. Remember, home is where the heart lies. As long as you feel comfortable, comforted and safe, you are home. For some reason, you may have been seen as the black sheep of your family. You have been told that you have great communication skills (may also have 3H placements), and it would be great if you know how to use that skill to its full potential. There’s more you can do with it, may it be drawing people to you, or drawing people away from people who harmed you. 

Overall energy: Judgement, Wheel of Fortune rx

I feel that you tend to judge yourself a lot, or people may have passed their biased judgement onto you when you’ve decided to not go their way. There are also some… Remnants? Of feelings of unjust? You have felt that life was unfair and things have not been going your way. Though you may have put that thought aside real quick cuz you believe in yourself more than what the stars or fate has said. You prefer to take things into your own hands instead of whatever higher beings there are out there, and I’d say that you’re doing a good job with it.

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Pile 4: I admit it now life is a long marathon, the difference is that I set the course

One Two cards to represent you: The High Priestess, The Lovers rx

The first word that came to me is intuitive. You know you’re intuitive and you have used your intuition on a lot of things that came into your life, may it be making decisions or using it to discern those who come close to you with agendas. But still, you probably have some… Troubles with love? Not necessarily romantic ones, but platonic and love towards yourself as well. For some reason, I feel that you may feel called to be a lover. It can be self love, but personally, I feel that the energy here is more outwards, where you are supposed to love others, and yet there’s no one out there deserving of your love. Some of you may have 12H or Pisces placement as well, which may give others an impression of being dreamy or drunk in love. (My logical head thinks so, but for some reason I’m feeling that heart-clenching feel, as well as a sense of loss. Not sure how to phrase it well tbh.)

1. What are the expectations I have for myself? - The Moon rx

Weirdly, for some reason, I’d say that you expect yourself to be… Different? You know you’re different and that you may sometimes feel that you are unable to align with how this world functions. Hence, when you feel you’re becoming too “earthly”, you may feel torn, because you expect yourself to do or achieve “unearthly” things, eg: to be a spiritual guru, to do reiki healing, etc. You are definitely one pile that is more prone to the spiritual side of the world, where you’ll often have a nagging feeling at the back of your head when you’re not doing anything of that sort. 

2. Feasibility on achieving those expectations? - The Empress

It is definitely something achievable, that is, if you focus on healing yourself as well as creating meaningful bonds with the people around you. One of the main themes of The Empress is to nurture, which you are called to not only nurture the people around you, but also to nurture yourself. You will also need to be with the right group of friends who will be able to help you flourish (and of course, you helping them as well, as this is a mutual relationship). I honestly don’t know what else to say about this because the message is repetitive, and I think you know it as well. 

3. What are my weaknesses and how do I compensate? - Two of Cups rx

This card in this position talks about tension, deception or even lack of trust between you and your spiritual side. For some reason, I’m feeling that you are holding too strongly to a certain thought or a belief. It causes stress and fatigue, making you lose hope in the process. Instead of taking a forced “temporary” approach, it would be better for you to reflect on what it brings you, and to let go of past beliefs that no longer serve you. Two of Cups is supposed to be a card of joyful celebration, a union between two parties. You will need to turn the card upright. It’s time to release the old and embrace the new, only then you’ll be able to grow into your very best self.

4. What are my strengths and how do I get better at them? - Six of Swords rx

I would say that one of your strengths is special, because it is not so to a lot of people. You do not let your problems push you, but you work your way with it. See, most people’s first reaction is to solve the problem or to run away from it, but you choose to live with it and rebuild your life around it. There’s a part of you that is unwilling to make your life a mess by running and avoiding the problems. You surrender. Not in a negative way. You surrender the pain and stress, you abandon the old, limiting beliefs, and you live in the present. The best way I can describe it is… It’s like you’re a monk, where you live with whatever that is happening around you. Waves (troubles and challenges) are around you, and you’re on the boat, keeping yourself calm, not bothering with what the world is doing, keeping your calm. It's like you know there's a life after death and that you're working on it right now instead of being present in the current earthly life.

5. What is it in adulthood that I should focus on? - Ace of Wands

Ace of Wands is the first card in the Minor Arcana. What I’m picking up from here is that you’ll need to create a new beginning for yourself. I wouldn’t say it’s The Fool kinda journey, because The Fool’s journey is of meeting people and learning the lessons on the way. Your kind of journey is understanding what you want, seizing opportunities, and turning your enthusiasm into actions. You have an idea of where you want to go, when you want to reach there, how you’re going to move, with whom you will want to travel on this journey. I would also say that it would be a great time for you to filter your circle so that you’ll be able to go on this journey with the least distraction.

6. What are the directions and advice that I need to know/hear? - Four of Pentacles rx This is a time where you should consider relaxing your mind and remember that you cannot control what others are doing or holding. You know you have enough, and instead of focusing on the action of others, focus on yourself instead and how you can block out the noises. With this done, you will be able to move from a period of control and fear and anxiety to a stage of being more open (and blank). It’s like… Once you are able to clear your mind, those noises no longer mean a thing to you, and you’ll be able to focus on yourself and what you want to achieve. I’m also picking up words like “zen”, “calm” and “enlightenment”. … Yeah the word “monk” too.

Overall energy: The Devil, The Chariot

I am feeling some self-sabotaging themes here. It may sound difficult to accept but I do think The Devil here talks about you, where you’re embodying some traits, thoughts or beliefs that you’re unwilling to let go. Y’know how some things turn toxic when there’s excess or if you hold onto it for too long? That. It’s burdening you and you probably are actively trying to run away from it. I’m having the image of you being annoyed at how you’re not progressing, and you end up flipping the table, scattering all the plans you’ve made for yourself. Probably some big changes are bound. Clear up the space and welcome your spirit guides to show up in wondrous and unexpected ways.

[becomingbts]

Time heals (sometimes) - Teaser 1

Summary: 6 years ago, (Y/N) thought that she was finally taking her life into her hands, leaving behind a toxic and abusive relationship with a man who taught her she’d never be worthy of love. However, it became hard to ignore his words when she met her seven soulmates who rejected her without even giving her a chance to prove herself. It took (Y/N) 3 years to realize that it wouldn’t be her end. She would live on to prove them all wrong; she would become what they all thought she wasn’t: someone worthy of love. And as she stands proudly on the stage, under the burning spotlights and the applause and the cries of the delirious crowd, she feels alive. Alive, just like the bond she believed to be broken.

Pairings: Y/N x OT7

GENRE: Soulmate AU!, Idol Y/NAU!, semi social-media AU!, ANGST (mainly), fluff, romance, maybe smut in the series.

Ask or comment to be tagged!

Warnings: The series is going to be heavy with a lot of personal experiences mixed into the fiction, so this is going to be kind of therapeutic for me. Please, consider not reading the series if you are not comfortable with: abandonment issues, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, self-harm (not descriptive and only part of MC’s past), suicide thoughts (in the past), toxic behavior, toxic and abusive relationship (in the past), depreciating self-talk and low self-esteem, a lot of curse, physical and mental pain, near death experience situation (in the past), and maybe smut scenes (happy ending though, but it will probably be quite the ride).

NOTE: I was thinking of “Moonchild” and for some reasons, some memories I’d prefer to have forgotten came back to my mind and instead of making a full-blown panic attack like I used to, I thought that it would make a great plot if I mingled that with a soulmate and idol verse and that’s how I started going into it. This is going to be loaded with personal experiences, even if they’ll probably be a bit differently explained compared to what I experienced. Despite the heavy themes and many warnings, I hope you guys will like it. I think I really needed to write it. It will be a semisocial media AU!, because I like the idea of being to write some of their conversations through texts. However, I do plan on fully writing most of it. Though, you’ll have some updates about their social medias as I will update their profiles soon after you see this. I will probably mix a lot of different media for this story such as songs written and produced by myself. I’ll upload for real MC’s EP. So expect a lot for this story. Please take well care, feedback is always very warmly welcomed, it helps me to write for real. If you need to talk to someone, my dms are always opened and if you really don’t feel well, please call urgency numbers.

Thank you for reading,

-Dolly

"And we will close our night show with the most awaited segment! The audience jumped during the commercial break, it's amazing how many people just joined us! Welcome to our interview segment and especially, welcome and thank you so much for being with us Moon!”

"Of course, thank you for having me on your radio show." 

"Thank you for coming! I have to mention that this is your very first interview with another media than your usual personal platforms like Vlive, YouTube, or Instagram, so we are honored to be the first ones to greet you! Do you plan on making more activities outside your personal schedule for the promotion of your new album?" 

"If I may be honest, not really. I'm the most comfortable in my own safe zone and I tend to try not to get out of it too often. It might close some doors to me but I'm comfortable with my fans that way. However, I often listen to this radio show and a lot of my fans were enthusiastic about that so I thought: why not."

"Ah, thank you so much, it means a lot! Your fans are indeed a strong community and they support you whether you go to TV shows or not. Besides, you've been a very active artist on social media and your whole career started on YouTube and SoundCloud before you signed to your current agency. We have to congratulate you on your journey! It's barely been two years but here you are, with your second EP 'People'! Congratulations on the release!" 

"Thank you very much."

“For our listeners who might not know who Moon is, I’m going to introduce her to you: Moon, your real name is (Y/N), you were born on August 4th, 1998, Incheon and your mother was American so you pursued your studies in America. You have been taking online classes since the start of your career at the HULT, university of Florida, and even recently got your Business Bachelor, now aiming for a Ph.D. You started your journey on Youtube, uploading covers and vlogs until you finally started producing your own songs, releasing them on Soundcloud. You started gaining a lot of followers; thus, you started on other social media such as Twitter or Instagram. One year ago, you release your first EP called ‘BALANCE’  which is the reason why the music label BigHit reached to you and asked you if you wanted to sign with them. Did I get everything right?”

“You are. It feels like you know my life better than I do.”

"Ah not at all, but thank you, I am glad that I didn’t say something wrong! Would you mind sharing the concept of this EP? Many of your fans probably already know but maybe some of our daily listeners might not!" 

"Of course. As you said, 'People' is my second EP, yet the first to be studio recorded. Signing with BigHit is a big step in my career and it created a lot of changes, hence I decided to focus on the people I have met, stayed with, became close to, or detached myself from… This is dedicated to the people who changed my life, whether they intended to or not. It could be interpreted as my social life diary in a way." 

"I see, many of your fans have said that the album held a very distinct duality, with a bright and a much darker side that made quite the storm on social media. ‘Y/N our Moon’ and ‘MOONISBACK’ trended for a few nights on Twitter. Do you have anything you'd like to say about that?" 

"I guess it was a surprise because this mini-album is really raw and uncensored. I didn't try to sugarcoat it nor to romanticize my experiences. I hope it brings comfort to people who haven't been feeling well. Because I think that it’s always easy to say that it's going to be okay to someone who’s not feeling well. Everything doesn’t suddenly become okay. And it's fine to be hurting, you can learn to live with this pain and move on while still hoping for better days. There is no end to hopes, and this is why my EP has a brighter side to it. Not everything is always a vast cold ocean. Sometimes, there are small or big waves that come crashing into our universe and they form something that we couldn't have imagined. They bring a little piece of sunshine in life and it helps to move on. So I hope that people who are struggling know that, despite how insignificant I might be, there is a person that understands and can relate to their struggles. I hope it can comfort them, even just slightly, to know that they are not alone." 

"That's a beautiful way to put it."

"Ah, thank you." 

"I have to ask because I'm really curious and I’m definitely not the only one: a lot of your fans have been theorizing about who could your title track ‘TIME’ be about? I have to ask you on the behalf of everyone. Is it okay for me to break the mystery?" 

"Time is a track that shouldn’t have made it to the EP. It’s a bit like a fit of personal anger that I didn’t know I needed to let out.”

“Your anger was definitely heard and understood. People have been curious about the addressee of the song especially because of the line ‘maybe it’s time I finally let go of you’. So can you tell us who is it about?” 

“Uh...Time was written for my seven soulmates who rejected me years ago." 

"Seven!?"

"Yeah, it's a lot I know.”

“Is that why you have covered your soul mark with this tattoo on your arm? Netizens talked about it a lot; normally idols tend to cover their arm from the public eyes to avoid for their soulmates’ names to be known, but instead, you were proudly showing your tattooed arm, fully covering what might be under the ink. Many people assumed that it meant that you didn’t have a soulmate at all.” 

“Well, I decided to cover the mark because there was no reason for me to keep it without hurting myself. I decided that I have been hurt enough to let myself take a rest. I didn’t see the point in hiding my arm either, I’m proud of my tattoo, I mean; it’s really a beautiful piece in my opinion. But to answer the assumptions, I don’t consider that I have soulmates anymore, hence why the tattoo as well." 

"This is really a heartbreaking story, it must have been extremely hard. Breaking a soul bond is immensely dangerous, my link with my husband already itches when I spend the day away from him, so seven soul bonds? It must have been terrible." 

"It was, but the most important is where I am now. I'm not lingering on that anymore because they made their choices and I thus made mine. I just hope that they all are healthy and happy where they are." 

"I have to say I'm really impressed (Y/N)-shi, you really have a delicate and caring soul. I probably wouldn't be able to have such soft words about your soulmates had I been in your shoes."

"I think living the actual experience made me reflect on myself a lot. I'm comfortable where I am now, I'm able to do music and make what I love. I have nothing to complain about, I'm surrounded by lovely and supportive fans, I have the best manager I could have ever hoped for and a warm and healthy family. I don't need more on my side." 

"I'm glad you are happy then. Many of your fans have pointed out it's really hard to make you smile and some wonder if you are happy, especially after the release of ‘TIME’, I don’t blame some of your fans for being worried." 

"Ahhh, is smiling the only way to prove that we are happy? I believe my words are usually a bit more impactful than my facial expressions. I have to admit that I don't often smile, it's not a bad thing, at least I don't think so, but I just don't feel the need to smile when I don’t feel like it. Besides, I get shy easily when I expose my emotions too much." 

"It's hard to imagine you being shy but at the same time now that I have you in front of me, our listeners cannot see you, but I definitely feel that you have a very shy and reserved aura despite the energy you give off when you are on stage. It’s not unfriendly either, but you’re just very soft-spoken and quiet in everything you do. Like when you came in, I barely heard you entering at all; you’re just silently making your way without a fuss, it’s really endearing, to be honest."

"Ah... I’ve been told that my stage persona and the ‘me’ in real life were two different entities but I don’t really think it’s true. I'm extremely introverted and it doesn't really mix well with the stage. So I just put it on the side for the people who came to see me and deserve to see more than a 24 years old woman who has troubles speaking without stuttering in front of other people." 

"You stutter when you have to speak in front of other people?" 

"Sometimes it happens when I’m nervous, and I’m very often nervous. Like right now, I’m extremely nervous. But it's something I'm working on." 

"Well it's definitely paying off because I couldn't sense that you were nervous at all, just very calm and soft, but I wouldn’t be able to imagine you being nervous enough to stutter."

"A lot of artists actually have stage fright, most of them just don't want to admit it because it doesn't sound sexy when you tell your fans you're actually shaking before going up there for the show." 

"This is very true, but it's refreshing to hear it from someone who actually lives through that rather than fan theories." 

"That's understandable." 

"Our time is coming to the end, do you have anything you would like to add before we sadly get our mics taken away?" 

"Oh uhm, everyone, my new mini-album 'People' came out very recently and yet it already received a lot of love so I want to thank you for that. This EP was a very personal project and I was worried about how it would be welcomed but you all made me realize that I have nothing to fear because we'll always find someone who can relate to our stories. As long as I can help even one person with my songs, then it's enough for me. Thank you for listening to me and my voice. I hope we'll be able to meet soon. Love you my fans and non-fans as well, please take well care of yourselves in those times. Be careful and stay safe. Wear your mask!" 

“Thank you so much Moon for being with us tonight. Our time was short but I really enjoyed it, I hope our listeners were able to feel that very warm presence of yours through the mic. ‘Give Me A Song’ of Moon’s EP ‘People’ will now be playing and we will see each other tomorrow night with IU for the release of her new album LILAC. Take care!”

Comments or Ask to be tagged!

Uploaded : 08/04/2021

[tomhiddelstonandzaynmalik]

Love at first sight?

Chapter 5

Warren Worthington III x Reader

Word count: 1340 words

Warnings: Language, suicidal thoughts.

prologue chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 4

"[...] I wish I was a heavenly angel

For I would always cling to my sword

But I am no heavenly angel

Hence I must fight the pain of my fault [...]".

-Heavenly Angel by an unknown author.

"Don't you have a life or something?". Warren teased Hank. It was 3:49 AM when the young man awoke from his slumber. "Not really, thanks to you". Hank's intentions had been good. To return the teasing only. But the purpose got lost when he saw Warren looking down in shame, shifting in bed as he seemed to try to make himself disappear.

It was a touchy subject for him, Hank had forgotten. He knew just how much he felt like a burden to everyone at Xavier's. It was clear Warren was not much of a talker himself. But when those sleepless nights came, where he would jump out of bed covered in sweat and breathing harshly after a particularly awful nightmare, that the idea of staying awake with his companion was more inviting than to go back to his made-up Hell.

Only then Hank had learned about the extravagant life, filled with luxurious items and exotic vacations Warren had grown in. Hank also found out about Warren's handsome but cold-hearted-control-freak father, about his loving but impotent mother, about what it was to have it all only for it to be having it taken away. The lonely days and lonelier nights that followed after, the age-inappropriate behaviours, one bad decision after another, and mostly, Hank realized just how worthless the "poor rich kid" deep down felt.

"It makes no sense". Warren said softly, looking down at the cup of freshly-made tea he was holding in his hands. "What?". The older man asked him while pouring some of it on his mug. "Me! Me being here makes no sense!", "I'm nothing but an inconvenience". Warren let out with sight. Although he was referring to him being at the mansion, the hidden meaning of it sent a shiver through Hank's spine. "Hey, stop saying that! You are NOT an inconvenience, Warren. You should be here!". Said Hank as he got closer to the boy, placing a reassuring hand onto his shoulder. There was some absolute concern in Hank's voice as he saw a glimpse of a tear peeking through Warren's eyes. "Oh! bullshit!". "You more than any other person should be pissed off with me!". "You're working extra hours on a lost cause!". Hank's heart hunched. It was true Hank had been depriving himself a lot so Warren could have the best treatment. Yes, he attempted to kill him and his friends before. But the more time he had spent with the kid, the more he had realized: Warren had been a pawn, manipulated only by the true villain, Apocalypse.

"Hey! Look at me, Warren." He said firmly. "Yes, you are right. I should be taking better care of myself. But I'm only doing so because I'm not willing to slow down until you're heald". He said, with such convincement, it made Warren believe there could be someone being finally genuinely kind to him.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I- I was only, umm, you know it was just a joke, right?". Hank nervously stated. "Sure, man". Even though Warren seemed to pay no mind towards Hank's comment, his voice had failed him, having it come out on a lower pitch rather than his usual vigorous one.

in an attempt of changing the topic, Hank pointed at your still sleeping figure. "So... An old friend of yours?".

It was somehow painful for Warren to see you there, resting at the infirmary room connected to all those noisy machines. In the end, your near-death encounter, in theory, had been Warren's fault. Hank's question had rumbled within the blond's mind. You weren't friends. He didn't even know your name. And honestly, he was more preoccupied with the atrocious first impression he believed he'd made in front of you. "You are the biggest idiot on earth if you think she'll ever want to even see you after what you've put her through". Warren's inside voice scolded him.

"No". The young mutant finally answered. "oh! I see". Hank teased again. Even though what Hank was implying: The real reason You were there was because of Warren's attraction to You, was nothing but the truth. Warren couldn't stop the blush from tinting his pale cheeks." It's not what you think, okay!". "Well, your face says otherwise, Romeo". The older man was grinning at him in amusement. "Shut up!". Warren's effort of sounding threatening failed due to his face heating up impossibly harder. His natural porcelain-white face was now a deep shade of red, making his facial tattoos stand out even more. Hank was having the time of his life. While Warren was acting like a teenage boy, he couldn't stop the laughs from coming out. "You done?". Warren said from behind one of the wings he'd been using as a cover. "Hey, take it as payback from running away".

"[...] I wish I was a heavenly angel

For my heart shall always be in joy

But I am no heavenly angel

Hence I must behave just like a boy".

The atmosphere remained comfortable. After an hour or so, Warren fell asleep again, not after convincing Hank to do the same. Who after, some reluctance, finally gave in and left to his room.

"Wakie, wakie, sleeping beauty". A hoarse grunt came from Warren's sleeping form as Ororo was poking his cheeks to get his friend out of Morpheus' grip faster. "Come on, Dollface. You have to get out of bed! It's almost 9 PM!". "What the hell?" Warren shifted in bed, reading the big clock on the wall. "You little shit, it's only 9... AM!".

Ororo's giggles were resounding through the room. "Oops". "Well, now that your up, we might as well get breakfast. Don't you think?". He was going to argue about how unholy early his friend had decided to show up when his stomach gave him in. It had been more than 18 hours since the last time he'd eaten, which was why he decided to let it slip. "Fine! But you'll have to give me your bacon to make up for waking up a man who almost died in a fire at 9 AM".

"Yeez, you sure are a Drama Queen, Warren". Ororo was walking toward your bed, peeping at the monitors. "Hank said she was the one who got it bad". "Your problem was only exhaustion, which reminds me of: Hank told me, to tell you that you're free to go".

Warren zoned out the moment Ororo mention you. Under the morning's light, it was easier for him to examine You. Your H/C locks were stiff from all the dirt and ash from the fire; Your face, which had been whipped clean when you arrived, allowed him to scrutinize every inch of it. Nothing was going unnoticed. Even the tiniest of your scars located under your left brow had been seen. He was so lost on himself taking your features in he'd forgotten he was in the middle of a conversation. "Earth calling Fallen Angel, do you copy, Fallen Angel?". Ororo raised her voice. "Uh? Yes, what?". "Dear Lord, you didn't hear a thing, did you?". Ororo was irritated but decided against scolding Warren. Him showing interest in people was an odd sight. "I said if you wanted me to get you your breakfast so you could spend more time with her before your appointment with The Professor?". He only wished his friend wasn't able to see his excitement from such an offering. "That would be ni-, wait which appointment?". "What? Your pigeon brain didn't register that either? The Professor said he had something to tell you. Be at his office at 11 sharp". After that, the girl stormed off the room while yelling something along the lines of "not being people's secretary".

It had been only then, as he stood in the middle of the room when Warren heard a muffled voice behind him.

"I'm I dead?" You said.

[30secondstoanime]

The Birthday Present

pairing: Pro!Hero Midoriya x Fem!Reader

genre/warnings: Reader Insert, Birthday Sex

Kinky Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku Gets Out of His Comfort Zone, That's Not How You're Supposed to Use Your Quirk, Porn With Plot, praise kink?, very smutty, Rough Sex, role-playing, Oral Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Teasing, Light Bondage, Light Masochism, Light Choking, Doggy Style, Fluff and Smut, after sex cuddles

word count: 7,467

→ summary: Your birthday is around the corner. What better gift than your boyfriend, the #1 Hero Deku, finally giving you what you want the way you want it: rough and kinky. But first plot!

a/n: Sorry about the crap summary and title, I'm working on that lol. So this is my first fic for the bnha fandom and first attempt at writing very explicit sex scenes and venturing into kinks/BDSM, so please be kind, but also I’d love feedback! This was supposed to be a cute four-page oneshot but turned into a sixteen-page, 7k+ word behemoth, hence the self-indulgent tag ‘cause I couldn't stop writing. I hope you enjoy the fruits of my labor ;)

In a few days, you’ll be turning twenty-four. Your birthday has always been an odd day you think for someone with your quirk because age really was just a number. That’s not to say you weren’t planning to do something fun, at least if you could figure out what you’d like to do. Okay, so that was a lie. You knew exactly what or should you say who you wanted to do and that it involved getting your back blown out. As soon as the thought pops into your head, your epiglottis forgets its job, and you choke on the sip of UCC coffee, you had tried to swallow. You cough to clear your airway, gasping when air finally expands your lungs. You tap your pen nervously against your desk, eyes scanning the other pro heroes’ faces in your agency. It seems your sudden outburst hadn’t disrupted the comfortable silence of the natural lull of the workday. A beep from your hero pager pulls your attention away from people watching in the office. Coordinates flash in five consecutive seconds before the transmission ends. You stand grabbing your toolbelt and strapping it across your hips; you make your way to the front. As you near the exit, you hear your hero name being called. You turn and see Yaomomo briskly walking towards you.

“Hey Creati, you got the page too?”

“I did, sounds like they’ve made a bit of a mess of things.” You scoff good-naturedly.

“When do they ever not. Were they really like this during your time at U.A.?” She giggles and nods her head. You wonder if you’ll ever stop cleaning up after the nation’s top three heroes.

“Better get going then, we both know they share a singular brain cell, so there’s no telling how much time we have to fix things.”

“Atomic!” You laugh at Yaomomo’s weak attempt to scold you — the amusement in her black eyes softens the tone.

              −−−−−−−−−−−−−−−−

“Oh my.”

You blow out a low whistle. Ice and scorch marks are scattered across the street and surrounding buildings. Explosive ash is still gently falling from the sky, and black tendrils are haphazardly keeping electric poles, exposed building foundation, and an abundance of wrecked vehicles from collapsing.

“Creati, check the building foundations. Create new beams and weld them together if necessary. I’ll get started on the pole, we can’t have a live electric wire falling.” She nods, and you split off. The work is slow and arduous, but the orderly nature of reorganizing and coaxing atomic particles back into place helps the time pass quickly. You’ve just finished rearranging the anatomical structure of a car hanging from a, thankfully, undamaged light pole, so that it falls to the ground weightlessly. You touch the damaged side, pull it back together, and return the car to its original density. You give the car a quick tap with the toe of your foot to test the structural integrity, satisfied you step back taking in your handiwork. What had a few hours ago looked like a DEFCON 3 military mission gone awry is now back to looking like an ordinary Japanese street. Well, as normal as you and Yaomomo could reconstruct — you weren’t miracle workers, and Ground Zero’s explosive residue was hard to get rid of. Instead, the way it collected and hung in the atmosphere made it difficult for your quirk to erase without condensing the air. That was out of the question unless you wanted to suffocate Yaomomo. Which you didn’t, so the employees of these buildings would be dealing with the smell for at least a week. Sighing, you tuck your hands in your pockets and make your way over to Creati. Her welding mask obscures her face, but you know it’s in deep concentration. After she cuts the torch and pushes the protective gear up, she gives you a smile.

“All done?”

“Just about.”

“I’ll page H.Q. Might even lodge a formal complaint against those three bird brains while I’m at it.”

“(Y/N), you can’t be serious.” She shoots you an incredulous look.

“They make this huge ass mess and don’t even bother to wait for us to arrive before dipping. Total dick move.”

“Ah-huh.” You don’t like the teasing note in her voice.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing.” You cross your arms defensively.

“Spit it out, Yaoyorozu.”

“You sure your foul attitude has nothing to do with not seeing Deku?” You roll your eyes.

“I’ll see him at home like I do every day. So no, I’m not upset about not seeing him.”

“If you say so.” She gives you a look, and you let out an exasperated puff of air.

“You cannot still be stuck on that!”

“Hmm? What do you mean?” She bats her eyes at you innocently while creating a duffle bag to transport the welding equipment.

“That God awful theory you and Ashido have about me having a hero kink for Izuku." You begin to walk side by side back to the agency. You hand her an energy bar from your utility belt.

“I mean, you do get very flushed whenever you see him on patrol. Like, if it were a hentai video, you’d definitely be drooling with your tongue lolling out of your mouth.”

“Ugh!” You shove her with your shoulder. “That is so gross.” Both of you laugh, and after a small lapse into silence, you give.

“Okay fine. I might get instahorny whenever I see Izuku in costume, but I can’t help it. He just looks so good, and it’s heightened because I know what he looks like out of costume, and then all I want to do is jump his bones, but of course, I don’t because propriety. So I’m left with all this pent up sexual frustration!”

“So, are you going to ever mention this to him? Your birthday is in a few days and if I may be so bold —”

“It’s never stopped you.” You mumble under your breath with a smile.

“I’d suggest you request it be your birthday present.”

“Pfft. Yaomomo, we’ve been together almost a year and a half, and while our sex life is fucking phenomenal, I’m talking multiple orgasms almost every time, amazing — it’s been very strictly vanilla. Not from any lack of trying on my end, but every time I’ve tried to spice things up, he gets as close as humanly possible to spontaneous combustion. Don’t even get me started on the one time I tried to get him to choke me while I —”

“(Y/N)! Stop, goodness, I do not need the play by play of your and Izuku’s sex life. I just,” she massages her temples, “wanted to make a suggestion. While I’m relieved you feel so secure in our friendship to be so open, please remember I went to high school with him. He’s like a little brother.”

“Oh, Yaomomo, there’s nothing little about him.” Her face pales, and you can’t stifle your cackle. It quickly becomes a full-blown laugh that rattles through your body.

“I went a little too far with that last comment, gomen. On a serious note, though, how would I even go about asking him? ‘Hey babe, it’s my birthday so I want you to fuck me until my knees are jello while in your hero costume because it gets me all hot and bothered oh and since I’m risking it all I’d love it if you tied me up and maybe choked me too.’”

You glance over your shoulder, a look of profound regret is plastered over Yaomomo’s face. You give her an impish grin.

“Doesn’t quite roll off the tongue does it.”

“Oh (Y/N).” Your friend shakes her head. When you finally turn the corner onto the street, your hero agency is housed, you catch sight of a mop of green hair. You pick up your pace, a mischievous grin on your face. Using your quirk, you redistribute your mass, so your footfall’s noise against the pavement is silenced. Izuku is talking with someone, his back turned to you. The goods were on display. When he’s in reach, you stretch out your arms, hands cupping his butt you feel him stiffen as you whisper against his ear.

“You’re under arrest for transporting illegal buns of steel.” You watch the blush creep up from his neck before capturing his entire face. He turns his neck, trying to get a good look at you.

“Wh-what!” You begrudgingly let go of his ass, and he turns his body to face you, his freckles standing out against the pink hue of his flustered expression.

“Sorry hun, I don’t make the rules.” You shrug your shoulders.

“I- I, (Y/N) that’s not even a legal penal code! A-and there’s no way I could transport enough steel on my person to warrant a body search.”

“Ooh Deku,” you loosen up the state of your atoms, allowing them to vibrate in mock arousal, “I love it when you talk legal code at me. Repeat it: penal.”

He flounders for a reply, mouth agape at a total loss for words. You giggle at his expression, a total deer in headlights. The person he’d been talking to finally makes themselves known.

“Atomic, you’re still teasing the living soul out of Deku per usual. Glad to know things haven’t changed ‘round here.” His shark tooth smile pulls an equally toothy smile from you.

“Eijiro! When did you get back? I’ve missed you.” You rush to the redhead, and he reciprocates your hug, holding you tight.

“Man, I’ve missed you too (Y/N). The States were cool, but there’s no manlier place than home sweet home.” You pull back and take him in. He looks the exact same if not a little bit more tanned.

“Damn straight.” Yaoyorozu arrives at the end of your reunion. Her excitement at seeing her old friend is nearly palatable. They catch up enthusiastically, and you saddle up next to your boyfriend, who’s finally gotten his blush under control.

“Hey, babe.” You give his cheek a chaste kiss, and he smiles.

“Hey, love,” Izuku gives your hand a squeeze, “How was your day?”

“It was pretty run of the mill except for the utter shitstorm Yaomomo and I had to clean up in Minato City.” You glance down and watch his feet shuffle from side to side.

“Huh, sounds pretty epic.”

“Not the first, second, or even the third word I’d use, but we’re all entitled to our opinions. And don’t you try acting coy with me, Izuku! That blonde ticking time grenade, the confused weather pattern, and your quirk were all over that place.” Izuku gulps.

“I expended a lot of energy cleaning up after you and your friends baka. As compensation, you’ve gotta cook me curry rice. Deal?”

He kisses your cheek in assent.

“Great!” You beam. “I’m gonna go change, be back in fifteen.” You disappear through the agency’s massive double doors. Yaomomo watches until you’re out of view before she walks over to Midoriya.

“So about (Y/N) ’s birthday . . .”

              −−−−−−−−−−−−−−−−

When you come out, you find a peculiar scene waiting for you. Yaoyorozu has crafted a fan for, you presume, Izuku, who is so red you could almost see the light refraction from his face’s heat and sweating by what looks like the gallon. Eijiro is by his side, trying to calm him down. You heighten the sensitivity of your cochlea to pick up the tail end of their conversation.

“It’ll be super manly, dude!”

“Bu-but I’ve never . . .” Your boyfriend seems tongue-tied.

“You’ve definitely got it in you,” Eijiro slaps Izuku on the back, “Plus Ultra!”

Izuku echoes Eijiro, but you can tell his heart isn’t in it.

You return to your average level of hearing and walk up to the trio.

“Everything good?” They all look at you with expressions that clearly scream, ‘No, everything is not good dumbass.’

“Riiight, foolish question. Izuku, babe, do you need me to help you?” He squeaks, and that stops you dead in your tracks. The last time he had squeaked in your presence was when he’d asked you out on your first date, and you think it was mostly because you had bluntly told him you had every intention of having sex with him if not after your first then for sure after your second date. He didn’t even squawk when you made good on your declaration, and you had been positive he was going to. Your assurance cost you a ¥2,000 bet with Ochako and Shoto. Whatever had transpired while you were changing had him spooked.

You crouch down and gently take his face between your hands. His cheeks are unnaturally warm. Closing your eyes, you reach out with your quirk to scan his vitals. What the actual fuck? Izuku’s pregenual anterior cingulate cortex is enormous. Your boyfriend is next level embarrassed. His heart rate is in the 200bpm range, which should have been impossible because it only ever got that high when he was exercising, and you were quite familiar with getting it there.

You’re honestly shocked his heart hasn’t started to palpitate with the sky-high levels of cortisol in his blood and high heart rate. Taking a deep breath, you begin to gently persuade the firing neurons near his PACC to chill, its size slowly decreases. You travel down to his hypothalamus and rearrange some of its chemical balance, so it stops producing corticotropin-releasing hormone, creating a negative feedback loop that would lead to his body to drop its cortisol production. You vasoconstrict a handful of the blood vessels in his face for good measure, hoping to cool it down. Your eyes flutter open, and the ruddiness is gone, and his cheeks feel cool against your palms. He gives you a weak smile and gosh that smile, these freckles, those lively emerald eyes. You lean your forehead against his, taking a moment to collect yourself. You kiss the tip of his nose before pulling yourself up, stretching once you’re fully upright.

“Well damn, I’m starving now. I know I said you had to cook for me, but I don’t think I’ll last. What do you say, Number 1. Hero, care to take me out to eat?”

Izuku gets to his feet, with a bit of help from Eijiro, who keeps a hand wrapped around his waist to keep him from stumbling.

“Yeah, of course, love. Just tell me where you want to eat.”

You grin in delight. Before making a decision, you turn to your two other companions. You’re not sure when Yaomomo had time to change, but she’s no longer in her hero costume.

“Would y’all like to join us? Izuku’s treat.” Your cinnamon roll’s protest is drowned out by their loud acceptance.

“I mean, if my bro is gonna treat us, then how could I say no?”

“How gracious Izuku, I’d love to share a meal with everyone.”

“Let’s get going then!” You grab Izuku’s hand and turn around, heading in the direction of the train stop. The walk will give you time to decide where you want to eat.

              −−−−−−−−−−−−−−−−

“Hold on one sec, almost got it.” You pace next to Izuku; the pressure on your bladder almost debilitating. At the click of your front door unlocking and seeing Izuku push it open, you rush through over the threshold. You kick the heels off your feet, your slippers abandoned at the entryway as you make a break for the bathroom. You can’t get your underwear off quick enough. The relief is almost pleasurable. You’d forgotten what it felt like to pee while exceedingly inebriated. Typically when you go out drinking, you elevate your liver’s production of alcohol dehydrogenase so you can avoid getting drunk, but tonight was your birthday celebration, and you wanted to get shitfaced, so you dialed it back. Now that you’re home and not interested in a hangover, you make the necessary adjustments to your liver. The night out had been a pleasant surprise. More people had shown up than you’d been led to believe would, most importantly, your younger siblings had stopped by — you hadn’t seen them since moving to Musutafu to pursue your hero career. You finish reminiscing over the night’s events. Quickly wiping, you flush the toilet and wash your hands. When you open the door, you find your slippers are there waiting. He was a total sweetheart.

You slide your sore feet in and sigh at the fluffiness. You make your way to your bedroom, surprised to find it empty. Where had Izuku gone? You take off your earrings, dropping them into your jewelry box. Making your way to the main bathroom connected to your room, you’ve just finished wiping away your makeup when you hear the door open. You walk to the bathroom door to peek and gasp as soon as you spot the figure closing the door behind them. Now you’d be the first to admit you are a horny bitch, but never have you felt your pussy throb with such a deep longing the way it was throbbing now. You stand still dumbfounded at seeing Izuku in his hero costume in your bedroom.

“Babe?” You try to suppress the quiver in your voice.

“Ma’am,” He tilts his head in greeting, “I got reports of a villain in the vicinity. I’m Deku, and I’m here to take care of you.”

Why the fuck did he just introduce himself? And a villain? You reach out with your quirk but don’t feel an unknown presence nearby. You start to walk towards him but stop at the foot of your bed. He meets you there, and you don’t know what to expect, but it definitely was not him pushing you onto your back. You fall with a muffled thud against the comforter. You stare up at him at a complete loss. You then become hyper-aware of what you’re wearing. The sparkling strappy mini dress leaves little to the imagination, and you’re positive that from his angle, Izuku can see your panties and the growing evidence of your arousal.

“Apologies, ma’am, but I’ll be using my quirk to restrain you as a precautionary measure.” Your mouth goes dry as you watch Blackwhip manifest wrapping around your wrists, pulling your arms above your head, and adhering to your shared bed’s headboard. You have to scoot yourself back a few inches to ease the tension in your shoulders. Holy shit. He just tied you up. This whole time he’s been standing at the end of the bed taking you in. You know your face is flushed, and you can feel your nipples brushing against the material of your dress now that you’re so turned on. Izuku’s hands come into view, and that somehow gets your mouth to work again.

“What are you going to do?” You arch an eyebrow and part your lips to let your tongue dart out and wet them. Fuck Yaomomo wasn’t off the mark with her comment.

“I’ll need to do a full-body search to ensure you’re not concealing anything illegal on your person.” You don’t have time to respond before his gloved hands caress down your pinned arms, across where your neck and shoulders meet. Leaving goosebumps in their wake. He cups your breasts, his thumbs brushing over your hardened nipples. You groan as the sensation travels down, pooling between your legs. He moves down your sides, slowly over your exposed thighs sticking strictly to the outside of your legs until he reaches mid-calf. You feel his hands move, and suddenly their inching closer to your aching cunt. Using his right hand Izuku runs a finger teasingly up between your clothed slit and your hips give an involuntary buck. He removes his finger and tuts at you, that pisses you off.

“What the fuck Izu —” You stop yourself when you see another tendril of black materialize near your face.

“Don’t make me gag you. My name is Deku, and you will address me as Deku-sama.” There’s a finality in his tone that leaves no room for argument. You’re torn between being really fucking aroused and very vexed at this role reversal. You’d always been on top, literally and figuratively, and now here he was, your cinnamon roll, threatening to gag you and not even blushing about it. He takes your silence as understanding and begins to hike up the bottom of your dress. With your midriff exposed, he finally settles between your legs, his toned abdomen flush against you. He places an open-mouthed kiss just above your belly button, his tongue flicks out to taste your skin. Izuku’s lips continue to roam over every inch of your exposed abdomen, sucking and biting. He’s going to leave love marks all over your stomach, you’re sure. His hands travel up under your dress, coming to rest just below your breasts. You feel the flat of his tongue working its way towards his hands. When you can feel his breath tickling you already hard nipples, he pulls his face away. You squirm and pull against your restraint — you feel them tighten.

“What is it you want, villain?” Fuuuck. The word falls from his lips wrapped in sinful promise sending another steady pulse of need through your body. Your nervous system was on fire.

“I want you to touch me.” You try to taper down the pleading in your voice, but the mildly amused expression on Izuku’s face says you failed.

“Like this?” His hand runs down your neck, over your dress and through the valley of your cleavage, past your naval stopping at the band of your panties. It dawns on you that he was teasing you.

“Or like this?” You’re not sure when his gloves came off or how he managed it, but one second you’re covered by the flimsy dress material next, the straps keeping it up are torn, and the dress pulled down. You hiss at the shock of the sudden temperature change, but quickly warm up as calloused fingers massage your breasts. A greedy moan is the only answer you can manage as you arch your back into his touch. He leans closer, breath warm against your neck, and moves a hand down to grip your ass,

“Let’s see if these are illegal buns of steel.” Even with how incredibly husky his voice is, you almost laugh at his remark’s absolute absurdity. Still, having maybe foreseen your reaction Izuku wraps one of your nipples between his lips before you can utter a sound.

“Deku-sama.” You inhale sharply coming completely unwound as his tongue flicks and swirls. His mouth sucks and pulls playfully. When his teeth graze your nipple, you contemplate making your hands boneless to escape the restraints just so you could tangle your hands in his hair; even with the undercut, you knew you could make him moan. The idea is quickly dashed as Izuku releases your now overly sensitive bud with a resounding pop that sends the ache in your pussy into a frenzy. Good god , he hasn’t even gotten inside of you yet. He treats your other nipple with much the same attention. However, this time, he lets his teeth give it a gentle nibble, and the shock of the feeling causes your skin to prickle. You feel him grin at your reaction before giving your nipple a farewell lick. He captures your lips, shoving his hips down against your own, as his hands’ ghost over your neck. You hook a leg around his hip, pulling him closer, trying to create as much friction as possible as you roll your hips upward. He lets out a breathy chuckle, as his mouth moves to replace his hands. He kisses up your neck, his breath tickles your ear, and you stutter out a needy whimper.

“Someone’s eager.” You groan in frustration as he pulls back. His hands grab hold of what’s left of your dress, and you help him get you out of it. He runs a finger up your stomach, stopping just below your sternum. The tip of his index finger traces a lazy circle before leaving a trail of goosebumps back down to your hip. The pressure of his finger is replaced by his mouth, biting the flesh of your hip crease hungrily. He kisses his away across to your opposite hip, traces of his kisses wet against your skin. You feel his fingers toying with the lacy hem of your panties before he hooks them in the elastic, pulling them down. You lift your hips as they pass over the curve of your ass, and you wriggle in anticipation. Izuku braces his left forearm against your right thigh, pushing your legs wider. His index finger explores your wet folds, dipping briefly into your slit, before brushing against your swollen clitoris.

“Deku-sama, please .” You don’t care how desperate you sound, the ache in your pussy is becoming unbearable. The slow burn was killing you.

“Since you said, please.” He slips a thick finger inside of you, curling it just so it massages the soft and spongy spot that makes your toes curl and lewd obscenities fall from your parted lips.

“Aah, fuck. Fuck, yes, there, right there. More. Izuku give me more.” A second finger is roughly inserted. You cry out as a jolt of ecstasy consumes every inch of you. He begins to scissor his fingers back and forth, “It’s De-ku sa-ma,” each thrust emphasizing the syllables of his declaration. You rock your hips up, trying to get his fingers deeper because you are close. You can feel the dam getting ready to burst. When his thumb circles your clit, you feel yourself clench around his fingers. He inhales sharply. You bite back a moan as stars begin to dance across your vision. The rhythm of his fingers picks up, and the pressure on your clit begins to be too much.

“You’re about to cum.” It’s not a question, but you manage to pant a yes, and it becomes your undoing. Tongue replaces fingers before you can bemoan feeling empty, hands wrap under your thighs, keeping you exposed when they instinctively try to shut. His fingers dig into soft flesh, and the pain leaves you dizzy for more. He unhooks his left arm from your thigh, again using his forearm to keep your leg down. Two fingers spread you open, and his breath is warm, and you screw your eyes shut because fucking hell, you feel ready to erupt. You feel the warmth of his tongue as it slips inside you and starts to lick around. His nose brushes against your clit as he laps up your wetness. When he takes your clitoris in his mouth, you feel yourself at the edge of a precipice.

“Y-your fin-fingers. Deku-sama.” You frantically tug against your binds as you arch your hips rutting into his face. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You feel yourself drowning in pleasure when his fingers join back in the fray. You’re full, and his tongue is everywhere. Inside you along with his fingers, pressing in all the right places. There’s no room to be embarrassed by your body’s wet sounds as you thrust against his fingers or the sounds he’s eliciting from you — loud, throaty, and gluttonous. He laps up the juices wherever they end up, on your thighs, in your folds, the space between your pussy and ass. At your clit he teases with nibbles, quick flicks of his tongue, and long flat strokes. He was treating you like you were his favorite meal. Coming back for seconds, thirds, fourths. You lose track of time. The air crackles with electricity, Izuku, the electromagnet to your copper coils. It sparks against your skin. Were you doing that? You couldn’t tell, but it didn’t matter because something was building. You feel it in your core, your quirk causing your atoms to buzz in excitement. He lets you hook your legs around his back, locking your ankles. You make a strangled noise when a particularly aggressive thrust combined with the head-splitting euphoria of Izuku’s tongue on your clit brings your Earth stuttering on its axis.

“Oh fuck, oh kami. Shit, Deku-sama!”

You flicker in and out. One second howling Izuku’s name like a prayer to the Gods, hips rolling up to meet his mouth. The next, you find yourself weightless in a void no longer in a corporeal form. What the fuck? It lasts no longer than a second before you return to your body and the sound of him cooing against your aching cunt.

“That’s it, cum villain. Cum for me.” And cum, you do. Waves of fiery ecstasy set your body aflame. You clench your fists and use your legs to pull Izuku’s face further flush against you. When you think you can catch your breath, Izuku surprises you by coaxing you into another smaller orgasm. You don’t know how he did it, but you really can’t complain, you’re feeling blissful as fuck. The bed creaks as he shifts back onto his knees, unwrapping your legs from around him. Blachwip is deactivated, and your arms fall uselessly to your sides. You feel your legs quiver from exertion, and you watch your chest rise in fall sporadically as your breathing levels off. You prop yourself up on your elbow to give Izuku a once over. He’s got a bit of sweat on his forehead, you can see the outline of his erection against the front of his hero costume, and your cum glistens on his nose, mouth, and chin. Not sure how you manage it, with your body feeling so close to putty, but you scoot back, pulling yourself up into a seated position, and rock forward onto your knees so you’re facing him.

You move closer, so your knees brush against his. Now that you’re close enough, you can see how blown his pupils are. They almost wholly eclipse the dark shamrock of his irises. He had it bad for you. You could fix that. You grab his chin between your thumb and forefinger, tilting it down to your lips so you can lick it clean. When your tongue traces the outline of his mouth, a low moan rumbles in the back of his throat. You get his mouth open with a hard nip to his bottom lip. Tasting yourself in his mouth and on his tongue makes you squeeze your thighs together briefly before you let your free hand wander between your legs to stroke your clit and moistening labia. You give the tip of his nose a cutesy peck that almost brings a blush to his freckled face, but he remains in character, so you palm his cock with your damp hand grinning devilishly when he stutters an exhale.

“I want you, hero.”

Izuku’s chuckle is rich, and you can feel it reverberate against where your chests connect. You start to toy with the hair at the nape of his neck, the short buzz of his undercut tickles your fingertips. Sliding your hand up, you finally get to tangle your fist in his hair, your grip tightens, and you pull his head back, exposing his neck. Your tongue darts out to lick a stripe up to just below his earlobe, all the while your hand strokes him into fully hardening.

“I’m not fucking around, Deku.” Your voice is thick and your tone dark, dangerous. He grabs the wrist of the hand that’s between his legs and growls,

“Neither am I villain slut.” You swallow hard at his inflection on the word slut. You’d never been called a slut during sex, and under any other circumstance, you’re sure it wouldn’t have sent a thrill of arousal pulsing from your fingertips down to your toes. He brings the hand up above your head, reaching behind his head to grab your second hand. You give him a feral grin, and his eyes flash before he sends you to your back. You’re about to stretch out your legs when he commands you to flip over onto your hands and knees. You do as you’re told, biting your lip as warmth begins to once again pool between your legs. You wish you could help him out of his costume, but it sounds like your help wasn’t needed. His dick grazes against the back of your thighs. A finger follows the curve of your spine. You arch into the touch and moan when it dips at your hip to tap your clitoris.

“You’re so wet already. You villains really know nothing about bedroom decorum.” He skims a hand over your stomach, stopping to grope and tease your hardened nipples.

“Oh? Keeping a woman in suspense isn’t exactly proper in my book De-ku sa-ma.” You look over your shoulder with a smirk.

“You’re,” he thrust into you without warning, quickly turning the grin on your face into an open-mouthed ‘oh,’ “not,” he pulls out, so the tip of his head just barely touches your cunt, “a woman.” He pushes into you, swearing under his breath as you push your hips back to meet his momentum. A ragged breath escapes your lips as you adjust to him, filling you. Shit, the boy is thick. His nails dig into your hip as he continues to fuck you at a painfully slow pace. Fingers tweak your nipples, and you feel your whole body flush with pleasure. You clutch the bedsheets in two tight fists when he starts to quicken his thrusts. His chest is slick with sweat against your back, his tongue tracing circles into your shoulder. An aggressive stroke sends the head of his cock rubbing up against your G-spot, and you feel your walls squeeze around him.

“Shit, shit, fuck Deku. That’s it. Just keep putting pressure on that spot.” You feel your elbows buckle, and you expect to crash into the bed. Instead, black tendrils wrap around your arms to keep you upright. This is definitely not how Lariat intended Blackwhip’s tendrils to be used. The thought makes you giggle. It seems that this was not a sound Izuku wanted to hear coming from you. He bites down on the spot of your shoulder he’d been suckling, making his displeasure known. You feel him adjust himself behind you, perhaps too quickly, because he slips out of you, and you protest immediately with a loud whine.

“I’ll give you something to whine about.” He thrust back into you, your knees go weak, and your pussy’s stimulation begins to pull the taught rope of your impending orgasm closer to snapping. One of his hands grabs the hair at the base of your neck, tugging with just enough force to tease a guttural mewl from you.

“That’s more like it.” You’re so overstimulated, with the rhythm of his dick coming in and out of you. The attention he’s paying to your clit, you scarcely have the headspace to be shocked by the personality change. Izuku doesn’t release his hold on your hair; instead, he deactivates Blackwhip and uses the grip to guide you, so your back is flush against his chest. You can smell the muskiness of his sweat with him so close. It mingles in the air with the scent of your arousal. Sex, the whole room smelled heavily of your fucking. He brushes a thumb over your bottom lip, pulling it down gently. You open your mouth, taking it in, holding it gently between your teeth, your lips acting as a cushion. You suck on Izuku’s thumb, letting your tongue swirl over the tip treating it how you would if you were instead sucking on the head of his cock. You hollow out your cheek and release his thumb with a satisfying pop. Your reward is the sound of Izuku’s heated gasp. The sound tightens the coil in your groin. You feel his right hand lightly trailing up your side. You expect him to stop to cup your breast, but a tingle runs up your spine when he skips it entirely. His thumb rests a few inches under your right ear, the fleshy part of his palm rests against your trachea, the remaining four fingers occupy the same spot under the opposite ear. You can’t hide your excitement as he begins to apply light pressure to your neck. It’s amplified when he whispers in your ear,

“Whose slut are you, villain?”

“I’m yours. All yours.” He squeezes a little tighter, and you squirm, gripping his left hip for stability.

“Yours, Deku-sama. I’m all yours.” You choke over the words while he loosens his grip satisfied with your correction. The brief bout of intoxicating lightheadedness dissipates quickly, but he keeps his hand around your neck.

You feel him, hard and slick, throbbing inside you, and you know he’s close. You prepare to ride out the coming crescendo that you’ll set off with your silver tongue.

“You’re getting close, aren’t you, hero? I can feel your cock pulsing.” He squeezes your neck tighter than he has before reminding you who was in charge. You dig your nails into his hip and bite your lip. Was he turning into a masochist, or were you?

“I want you to cum in me. Make me your bona fide villain bitch — think you’re up for it, big boy?” You were being so bold, goading him. It does the trick. He releases his hold on your neck, you’re a little sad, but are swiftly distracted by a sudden burst of heat and green energy crackling, the telltale sign of Full Cowl being activated. What the hell was he up to? Your answer comes moments later when his hands push your bent legs further apart, hooking his arms under your thighs to lift them up. You feel weightless, free, and so very wanton. Then like being dosed with ice-cold water, you come back to your senses; you’ve always been terrified of being picked up during sex. Your arms flail, searching for anything to grab hold of. They settle awkwardly at Izuku’s neck. Your breathing is a little erratic.

“You’re not scared of heights, are you?” Oh, he was being a total ass.

“Absolutely not.” You bite back.

“Heh.”

Sensing your discomfort, he places you back down on your knees, his hand returning to your neck — where it belonged. Shit, it was you, you’re the masochist. You feel him throb inside you, the head of his penis gets a little bigger and his cock harder. His movements become more sporadic. You take his free hand and lead it to your clit, you’d be damned if he cums before you. His groans become music to your ears, loud and ravenous as you roll your hips to meet his thrusts. Soon that’s all you can feel, like tunnel vision nothing else matters, there are no other options, but his cock burying itself deeper and deeper inside you as his fingers dance around your clit. He flicks and pulls, rubs circles, and you savor every second of it. Everything cumulates into a blinding flash of white-hot light as if you’re staring directly at burning magnesium. You hear him crying out your name, and it mixes with your carnal pleas into a cacophonous soundtrack to your mutual climax. He finishes inside you, the thick viscous liquid of his orgasm, filling you with more warmth than you anticipated. As you ride out your orgasm, you don’t stop gyrating your hips until you feel Izuku become soft. You let out a shaky breath as you come to a stop to catch your breath. You’re thankful that he doesn’t seem eager to pull out quite yet while you bask in the quiet exhilaration of having orgasmed three times this night.

“I’m going to pull out now, okay?”

You nod your head slightly, words out of reach with your euphoria’s hum still clouding your mind. Cum trickles down between your thighs, the sensation almost ticklish, but far more erotic. With nothing connecting you to Izuku, your body gives in to its exhaustion, falling forward unceremoniously. He wraps an arm around your waist, setting you gently down on your stomach. Rolling onto your back, you shimmy up onto a pillow to support your head. You glance up at Izuku and sigh in content. Hair stuck to his head, abs contracting as he slows his breathing (his heart rate close to 180bpm), and his left-hand traces the scars on his right arm absently. Even in such a worn-out state, he looked otherworldly. You lock eyes, and you pat his side of the bed next to you.

“Cuddle with me.” At hearing those three words, he sheds his façade, his eyes soften, his jaw loosens, and he eagerly obliges your request. He rests his head on your chest, your fingers playing with his hair as he gently brushes your side. You stay like this for a few minutes until he starts out of your arms like someone’s lit a fire under his ass. He sits up, you follow suit intrigued by what’s got him so worked up. You watch him reach across towards his nightstand. He pulls out a notebook and a pencil. You have to suppress your snort as he begins scribbling furiously. You couldn’t even pretend to be surprised, catching bits and pieces of his muttering.

“. . . dominated . . . choking . . . loud . . . buns of steel. . .” You can’t stifle the laugh that escapes you. He glances up and gives you a sheepish grin, his face like he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t.

“You fucked me into another dimension, jot that down in your sex notebook.” A blush erupts across his face.

“I-I what? Seriously?”

“Mhmm, as seriously as my orgasm.” Embarrassment flickers momentarily in his eyes, quickly replaced by intense curiosity. You dare say you see a little triumphant gleam too.

“What happened, tell me everything, love.” You recount what he’d been doing with his tongue and fingers. The feeling leading up to it and what it looked like in this other dimension.

“Sounds like you’ve unlocked another facet of your quirk.”

“Looks like it, but it’s not really useful.” He gives you an inquiring look; you roll your eyes. He could be so dense sometimes.

“I can’t exactly have you eating me out in public every time I want to astral project now, can I?” His blush returns full force.

“Maybe there’s another way.”

“Possibly, but I’m beat. My legs feel like jello, and I’m starting to feel sore.” You massage your neck, glancing at your exposed breasts and the marks that speckle them. Izuku looks at you with worry.

“You can’t fix it with your quirk?”

“I can, but where’s the fun in that? One of my favorite parts of sex is feeling it the next day. I’m definitely going to tomorrow and maybe the day after thanks to you.” You give him a wink and admire as he fumbles with his words.

“Oh! Well, I mean. Yeah. No problem. I think?” He was definitely back to being your cinnamon roll. You giggle quietly.

“Before I go clean up, I’ve gotta know. How did you do that.” You motion with your hand, hoping he picks up what you’re putting down. He does.

“Simple, lots of research.” You squint at him, touching the pulse at his neck. It was slightly elevated.

“Ah-huh, and what else?”

“No-nothing!” The pulse quickens a little more.

“Did you role play with someone?” The idea sounds absolutely preposterous, but when he pushes your hand away from his neck and gets up off the bed, you know you’ve struck a nerve.

“You’re using your quirk, that’s not fair.”

“All’s fair in love and war. So, who was it with? Shoto? Eiji? Or was it Katsuki ?” The light hue of pink that creeps up his neck is all the confirmation you need.

“Ah,” you bob your head sagely, “it makes sense, babe, he gives off a total masochist vibe. I’d have practiced with him too. What was it like? Would he be open to a threesome? Or would it be a foursome since he’s got that not, so secret thing going with Eiji? Could I even handle the three of you?” You wonder out loud.

“(Y/N)!” Izuku rushes into the bathroom, adamantly trying to end this conversation. You weren’t letting this go, oh no siree, so you get out of bed and walk to the bathroom where Izuku’s turned on the shower and is standing under its current.

“Nice try. You’re giving me the details.” He sighs defeatedly.

“Can it wait until we’re in the bath.” You cross your arms in a huff, pouting.

“I guess.” Izuku grabs you, pulling you into the shower with him. You wrap your arms around his waist, resting your cheek against his chest. He gives the top of your head a kiss.

“Happy birthday, (Y/N).”

Happy fucking birthday to me. You smile to yourself.

[kpopmakesmequestionmylifechoices]

Kingdom Round 3, pt. 2: How to discourage idols and kill versatility in K-pop - a guide by "experts".

As in my last post I'll talk about my thoughts on the performances, but mostly I'll question the freaking ranking because wth those experts should really reveal themselves at this point (I'm salty). Anyways, let's get into it.

1. A small "disappointment" and two big surprises.

ATEEZ: Oh guys the beginning made me emotional because it reminded me hardcore of Block B Very Good hahaha. Generally I must say, ATEEZ rearrangements are always good. It just sounded very ATEEZ-ish, and that's cool. I personally prefer the original Rhythm Ta over the rearrangement tho. About the performance, I don't have any criticism I think. I personally found that rope scene a bit strange tho, and overall I just wasn't impressed by that stage. Possibly because nothing can top the Symphony Nr.9 for me hahaha.

BTOB: First of all, SKZ X BTOB interactions are peak comedy I loved this so much. Minhyuk fangirling on SKZ back door stage is me tho. And "Kingdom is 15+ right?" Oh man I love those dudes.

About the concept, totally loved it because it was super fun to watch. I was worried beforehand because I couldn't imagine anyone pulling off SKZ' powerful rap. They didn't tho. They did it their own way and I was surprised. The meaning change to a more uh...mature sorta concept was also quite interesting. The moment Eunkwang knocked and opened the door: chefkiss. Those lyrics? Rude but chefkiss. I in general really liked the rearrangement, but in the end it lost its power a bit. Maybe also because I have the original Back Door burned into my brain and the ending just rocks af. But honestly, my brain also was fried by THIS:

[*my edit/gif - I made a full gifset in that style now]

Stray Kids: I must say, I was a bit scared before because anyone having to do a BTOB cover must have absolutely stable vocals. This was the stage I was most concerned about when I heard about the song choices. Without a reason. Because SKZ absolutely killed it. Sure, I.N didn't hit that note as it was planned but let me tell you, it didn't affect my enjoyment of this stage at all. The stage setting? Fantastic. Changbin's rap sounded as if he's in utter pain and despair, Felix added to that with his hyper low tone part which was ABSOLUTELY cool. This was just great, full of feels, and I have NO criticism, bye.

Recap: When thinking about the past 6 performances, I feel that ATEEZ and iKON did the best job with making the others' song their own. In my eyes, SF9 and TBZ both stayed in their comfort zone with their song choices, while BTOB and SKZ took on the extreme challenge to pick songs that are basically the opposite of what they usually do. As I Iove versatility and surprises, SKZ and BTOB have a special place in my heart with those two stages.

Hence, my personal ranking looks as follows:

1. BTOB & SKZ (tied): For me those were the biggest surprises and caused the biggest enjoyment and entertainment for me. If I HAD TO choose a first place, I'd pick BTOB - because Back Door is one of my FAVOURITE songs of all time, and solely evaluating the songs, I heavily prefer Back Door over I'll be your man. Anyways, with that ranking, SKZ jumped from my personal lowest rank in the first round to my personal highest rank.

2. SF9: After seeing SF9's stage last week, I was sure that I'll have them as #1 in today's post. I loved everything about the performance (besides the weird gun dance sry), and I especially loved how they stepped up their game without making the perfomance too huge and too overwhelming. Nevertheless, due to the fact they stayed pretty close to their usual style, I'll rank them 2nd because I was more impressed by the others' style change.

3. iKON / ATEEZ: The performances were good, but to me personally they were absolutely not memorable. It's a matter of taste after all.

4. TBZ: I know, I again rank them last. And again, no I don't hate them. I simply neither am touched by their stages, nor do I understand their plots. So I once again rank them last. I don't find their performances bad tho, because as all groups, they're doing an amazing job. The stages are simply not my cup of tea.

2. Oh you prove that you're a versatile artist? That must be punished!

↑ That's how I imagine the experts' thoughts. Expert ranking was as follows: ATEEZ / TBZ / iKON / SF9 / BTOB / SKZ.

Okay I must say. Which freaking expert would place SKZ last??? I'm not biased in the slightest, if I'm biased then for SF9 and BTOB, but bruh. SKZ last? That's like, ridiculous. Considering the immense challenge SKZ had from switching from their usual style to freaking I'll be your man?

I don't know man, I can't take this ranking seriously. I really wish we'd know what the criteria is...It's a mystery to me how this could happen. Those boys get punished for stepping out of their comfort zone and doing an amazing job? Literally same story with BTOB. Both groups completely stepped outta their comfort zone and that's what they got for it...Well done, experts, well done. This is how you destroy versatility in K-pop, but sure, go on.

Honestly at this point I hope stays and melodies work together to catapult both groups up in the ranking because this is just utter nonsense...

3. Ya all groups, why don't you support your exchange partners :')))))))

↑ This is me hysterically laughing and crying at the same time at the fact that they don't vote for each other. Groups' ranking was as follows: ATEEZ / SF9 / BTOB / iKON / SKZ / TBZ.

Honestly my only explanation for this result is that the groups don't vote for those people they see as their biggest opponents? It's weird man. I personally for example don't understand why the groups which exchange songs don't vote for each other? None of the performances was bad, and I think it's low-key a matter of respect to give the group you exchanged songs with one of your votes? Because after all they tried their best to present your song in a presentable way even tho it's not their own? Idk man. I don't like this weird feeling of "hostility". But might only be my own feeling idk hahahahaha.

Honestly I wish we'd get to see the groups' evaluation and reasoning behind their choices...

That was it from my side this week...As always, thanks for reading! As for next episode, I'm super excited to see proper interactions and them finally having fun...ouf and after all those years Minhyuk going back to vault jumping I'm hyped hahahah. And now I'll go rewatch SKZ and BTOB lol.

[hils79]

Monday Fic Recs

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji (The Untamed/Mo Dao Zu Shi)

puzzle pieces by yuisaki

“Sorry, I, uh. Laundry day caught up to me before I could catch up with it. I saw this shirt left in the washer a few days ago, and—“ Wei Ying blinks up at Lan Zhan through dark eyelashes that he wants to kiss, maybe, and gives him an uncharacteristically hesitant smile. “Do you mind?”

I mind the fact that we are not married, Lan Zhan thinks.

Wei Ying keeps borrowing Lan Zhan’s clothes. It is only mildly driving him insane.

This is absolutely hilarious. Lan Wangji’s inner monologue is delightful. I love fics that are written from his perspective

Attempting the Impossible by ariaste

Jiang Cheng gathers up his determination in both hands and goes to the Cloud Recesses to embark on one of the most difficult endeavors he can imagine: Repairing his relationship with his brother.

To his surprise, he discovers he's become an uncle again... several times over.

Wei Wuxian, what the fuck?!

I always enjoy fics where Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng reconcile post-canon and this is wonderful. The author writes their relationship perfectly.

tame by rikke

After the Xuanwu Cave incident, Wei Wuxian wakes up back in Lotus Pier with one hand clutching Lan Wangji and the other hand clutching...an egg?

in which wwx and lwj accidentally hatch a baby xuanwu

This sounds like total crack but it actually isn’t. I mean it is a bit but everyone is perfectly in character and it’s amazing how the presence of a baby xuanwu changes everything for the better. 

I Have Saved All My Ribbons For Thee by damnslippyplanet

Lan Zhan’s fingers feel nice, and so does the comb he extracted from some mysterious pocket where he keeps spiritual weaponry and extra talismans and lubricating oil and snacks for children, rabbits, and Wei Ying. He starts with his fingers, running them through Wei Ying’s hair gently from his scalp all the way to the ends, loosening up the big snarls from where Wei Ying was too hasty. To jump ahead to the fucking. Which is not happening right now, because Wei Ying’s life is very difficult and trying and his husband loves him too much.

A lovely, tender bit of hair brushing

Zhao Yunlan/Shen Wei (Guardian)

Rich in Heart by tethysian

It's not that Shen Wei wants Zhao Yunlan to be exhausted after a long day at work, he just capitalizes on the opportunity when he is.

I really love it when Shen Wei just takes care of Zhao Yunlan and this is a perfect example of it.

Like you're running out of time by frith_in_thorns

Zhao Yunlan is stuck in a time loop. Shen Wei is stuck on the outside.

I love anything to do with time loops. It’s such an interesting concept. This is a wonderful fic that actually looks at the emotional impact something like this would have

Please refer to the list of ingredients by frith_in_thorns

Jiajia, Professor Shen's newest grad student, is nervous at her first faculty-and-guests function at the university. But really, what could go wrong?

I wish there were more fics about Shen Wei getting drunk. This one is adorable

Come as you aren't by frith_in_thorns

It was a very polite kidnapping.

Yeah, I love this author’s fic, hence all the recs. This is a really fun one where Zhao Yunlan goes to extreme lengths to protect Shen Wei’s identity. 

When it snows in summer by yantantether

In Zhao Yunlan's apartment, Shen Wei ushered him to the couch and stood over him as he slumped down. Zhao Yunlan threw his head back with a groan, exposing the line of his throat broken by the bulge of his Adam's apple. Looking up through half-closed eyes, he said, "Well, doc? What are you going to do with me now?"

Another lovely bit of hurt/comfort. This fandom writes it so well!

Revival by qikiqtarjuaq

Not everyone gets a second chance at a new beginning.

Hurt/comfort combined with flashbacks to ye olde dixing era. My two favourite things in one lovely fic. 

Threads Pulled Tight by frith_in_thorns

Zhao Yunlan started zoning out a little. That sense — that awareness of Shen Wei was returning gradually. Wispy tendrils of emotion — fear, where, hurt — and though Zhao Yunlan was trying to organise his plan he still found himself at intervals leaning forward and pressing his knuckles into his closed eyes and trying to project as loudly as he could. Shen Wei, I'm coming for you. Don't give up.

A wonderful psychic bond fic

All the Boundaries Between by frith_in_thorns

In Dixing, expecting to have died after lighting the Lantern, Zhao Yunlan wakes up.

This is exactly the post-canon fix-it fic I needed!

Discidium, Reparandam by galaxysoup

The corner of Professor Shen’s mouth tightens slightly in the specific way that means he’s embarrassed but too reserved to show it, but it does put a halt to his efforts to make sure Zhao Yunlan has his gun, a backup gun, a warm enough jacket, a snack, and a willingness to preserve himself in the face of danger.

Considering the two main characters spend most of this fic separated it’s still amazingly sweet and romantic and gave me all of the feelings. 

Bai Yutong/Zhan Yao (SCI Mystery)

Yes, I am apparently doing multiple fandoms at the same time now. 

jealous of the wind by sarahyyy

“Cut me some slack,” Zhan Yao says, grinning. “I’m just curious. How often is it we get to see an immortal being?”

“If you leave me for Shen Wei, I will literally die,” Yutong grits out. He makes his way to Zhan Yao, and then tackles him to the couch, pressing his face to the crook of Zhan Yao’s neck. “You’re mine, mine, mine.”

(Or, the Guardian/SCI crossover ft. Jealous Boyfriends that no-one asked for.)

This is so much fun and was a great introduction to SCI fic 

now a soft kiss by sarahyyy

He really needs to be given a sainthood after he dies. Saint Bai Yutong — patron saint of criminal psychologists who can’t look after themselves. That has a ring to it.

Kissing out of necessity leads to feelings. I love it. 

Jack/Zhao Zi (History 3: Trapped)

Reliably out of order by weilongfu

Ever since meeting the cute and intriguing IT tech Zhao Zi, Jack's computer has been reliably on the fritz in time for Zhao Zi to come fix it and have lunch with him. Once a week. Every week.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this situation and no ulterior motives what so ever.

I honestly wasn’t interested in looking for fics for this show, because the show itself gave me everything I wanted. But someone recced this AU to me and it is SO ADORABLE

[so-langdon]

Night of a Lifetime - Michael Langdon x Fem! Reader (Requested)

Summary: (Au) Michael and Y/N have been best friends and roommates for awhile. Y/N has been in love with him for awhile too, but tries dating someone else to get over Michael knowing he’s just a player. But when Michael sees her with someone else, he gets angry.

Warnings: Angst, fuckboy! Michael, jealous! Michael, possessive! dom! Michael, sexual tension, some dirty talk, biting, sexual situations, sensual touching, some choking, strong language

A/N: Finally had some time to write and got this written! @saltyshaggymeme wanted an AU fic of Michael with a “man-bun”, so I added that in of course, so hope you enjoy! Let me know! <3

I haven’t written in over a month, maybe even two, due to being so busy with work and I feel like my writing has already lost so much substance so I apologize if this is shitty.

And I will be posting my Xavier fic about loving his scars sometime next week hopefully!

Tagged!: @hecohansen31 @blakewaterxx @sarahandthejets @michaelsapostle @1-800-bitchcraft  @ccodyfern @rocketgirl2410

(tagged some who i thought may want to read but just ignore if not !! )

The piercing blue eyes of Michael Langdon stare into Y/N’s, baring straight into her soul. Michael’s long layered locks are up in a bun, a few strands framing around his face perfectly, giving him an alluring and intimidatingly handsome appearance. He grins confidently and sultry, causing her heart to flutter, making her want to kiss his soft, full lips already, yearning to satiate the hunger inside of her for him.

But in just the blink of an eye, the vision of Michael in front of her fades away completely, causing Y/N to shake her head a bit and blink a few more times before narrowing her eyes on the actual person in front of her.

Brock, the guy Y/N was currently dating sits beside her on the couch, having had snapped his fingers to get her attention as she clearly zoned out and her mind wandered to a completely different person.

“You okay,” Brock asks as he scoots closer to Y/N on the couch, reaching over for the remote and lifting it up to the television to put the movie they’re watching on pause. “I was talking and you just weren’t saying anything,” he adds.

“Yeah, sorry,” Y/N forces a smile. “I was just, uh, thinking about what movie you’d want to watch next,” she smiles more to seem more sincere and like she wasn’t just fantasizing about another man.

Y/N and Brock had been on a couple of dates before, having met in a shared class last semester. She didn’t really have a thing for him, hence why it was so easy for her mind to drift off to someone else in particular. But Brock was cute, personable and seemingly good enough for distracting Y/N from her mind-consuming thoughts of her actual crush: Her roommate and best friend, Michael Langdon.

She and Michael had known each other a few years, having had bonded and really connected from the get go when meeting at freshman orientation. Michael didn’t have much family, and Y/N was the first person he felt he could really trust, the two forming a strong bond once meeting and getting along together so well.

Though, they had never been anything other than friends. Y/N had grown feelings for Michael over the months, but would never dare dream of telling him, knowing he didn’t feel the same way, especially with knowing how he jumped from girl to girl.

Michael was a bit of a fuckboy for lack of a better term. Michael didn’t date, didn’t have relationships, didn’t have crushes. Just flings, hook-ups, one time things. He was the stereotypical college boy, knowing how popular he was considering his handsome looks and flirty charm. 

Michael was still sweet and friendly nonetheless, but he wasn’t interested in any type of commitment or relationship that didn’t end that night or following morning at the latest. He wasn’t ready to settle down in any way as of yet.

Y/N knowing this about Michael, could never imagine telling him of her feelings, figuring he wouldn’t just reject her, but would complicate their friendship too. Even with Michael being a fuckboy, player, whatever you wanted to call it, he still always made time for Y/N, letting her know she was the most important person in his life. So she’d rather have him in her life as her best friend, than not at all.

Since she knows she and Michael can never be together, she’s decided it’s time to start dating and to stop waiting around and hoping for Michael to admit some kind of love for her when she knew it wasn’t true.

Or so she thinks.

Nevertheless, when Brock asked her out, she went for it, figuring it would be good for her to move on from Michael and to get over her feelings. But, here she was, on the couch of her shared apartment picturing Michael as her date instead of Brock, attempting and failing to hide her feelings about everything.

Of course Y/N knew she didn’t really like Brock and didn’t have an actual interest in dating him. But she wanted to get over her feelings for Michael so despairingly, she was desperate for any kind of distraction and wasn’t going to waste the opportunity.

But, even as Brock proceeded with making flirtatious moves, scooting closer to Y/N, and turning her face to his and kissing her, Y/N knew it was going to be more difficult than she thought when all she could think about and picture was Michael instead. 

So she tried to lose herself in the feeling, in any positive feeling when kissing Brock back, trying to push her feelings and desires for Michael aside in the process. 

The two ignore the movie playing on the television, making out on the couch like a couple of high school teenagers who have the house alone for the first time. Y/N lets Brock wrap an arm around her to pull her closer to him, resting his other hand on her exposed knee just below where her dress cuts off, slowly moving it up as he seems to have only one idea in mind she knows. 

Typical college guys.

Y/N doesn’t care and goes along with it, thinking maybe sleeping with Brock will break whatever spell Michael has on her and it’ll be a foot in the right direction of getting over him.

But before she can make a decision or even have another thought about it, the lights in the living room turn on, a voice clearing their throat, and an obvious tension overtaking the atmosphere.

Brock and Y/N pull away from kissing and turn their heads to the other side of the room, seeing who other than Michael standing there.

He looks intimidating, his crystal blue eyes still beautiful but showcasing an unusual rage as he glares lightly. His long, layered hair that reaches past his shoulders is tied up in a well kept bun, always adding a sexiness to him when he has his hair up.

His mouth is frowning, his light pink lips still looking just as soft and plump as normal, but having an irritation to them. Dressed in a casual black t-shirt that’s just tight enough to show enough of his fit physique as he crosses his arms over his broad chest, black jeans to match and Doc Martins. He looks devilishly handsome, practically jaw-dropping, per usual.

“What are you doing here,” Y/N asks, narrowing her eyes and trying to ignore the increase of her heart beat as she looks at him, her body reacting more to Michael’s appearance alone than she was when kissing Brock.

“I live here,” Michael states almost sarcastically, yet still impassive.

Y/N rolls her eyes, pushing her captivated feelings to the side and putting up her own irritated front. “I mean, what are you doing here right now? I thought you were going out to meet up with some people and wouldn’t be home all night?”

“Changed my mind,” Michael answers detached, eyes glancing over to Brock beside her and staring daggers into him practically, causing Brock to look noticeably uncomfortable as he tries to avoid eye contact with Michael.

Y/N sighs, leaning back on the couch and crossing her own arms over her chest. “Well. Don’t mind us then, we’re just watching a movie. So you can go to your room now or whatever and leave.”

“Didn’t look like you were just watching a movie to me,” Michael states angrily as he looks at Y/N, ignoring the second part of her words, glaring a bit more and diverting his eyes from Y/N to Brock again beside her. “Who are you?” He asks a little too harshly

“This is Brock, my date for the evening,” Y/N emphasizes, answering. “Brock, this is Michael, my roommate,” Y/N adds looking from Brock and back to Michael.

“And best friend,” Michael adds irritated.

“Well, um cool,” Brock begins lightly. “Nice to meet you,” he gives a small wave at Michael, smiling a bit in the hopes that whatever tension that’s in the air will dissipate. 

But that fails as only more tension seems to rise as the seconds pass. “Not really. This wasn’t the most comfortable scene to be coming home to,” Michael states as he keeps his arms crossed and looks back over to Y/N. “He needs to be heading out. It’s getting late.”

Y/N narrows her eyes again, Michael’s words catching her off guard. “It’s like ten o’ clock?” She states obviously.

“And? It’s getting late,” Michael repeats, furrowing his eyes and diverts his gaze to Brock. “So, go on and get going,” he says, dropping his arms and gesturing towards the door behind him so he can leave.

“Uhm,” Brock narrows his eyes too, but more confused, unsure if he should actually be leaving or not and looking at Y/N for a clarification.

“He doesn’t have to leave, we’re in the middle of watching a movie still.” Y/N points out, uncrossing her arms as she sits up more.

“What does that have to do with anything? It’s getting late and--”

“It’s Friday night,” Y/N interjects.

“--And I’m going to bed, so I would rather not be disturbed by the movie, or whatever else that might go on,” Michael articulates. 

“Whatever else? Are you serious?” Y/N glares, standing up and finding an anger building inside of her. “That’s so hypocritical.”

Y/N was no stranger to Michael having girls over, whether that be them in the living room on the couch like Y/N and Brock, or in Michael’s room. Y/N never said anything, never interrupting and disturbing whatever they were clearly doing, always letting Michael live his life because they’re adults and this wasn’t high school (and she never wanted to risk showing any jealousy too).

And yet, Michael has the nerve to demand that her date for the evening, whether she actually liked him or not, leave when Michael’s come home now, though he wasn’t even supposed to be home in the first place.

“Hypocritical how?” Michael raises his head, almost amused but trying to act clueless. “I’ve asked nicely for your guest to leave as it is late and I would like to go to bed knowing that my apartment is free of strangers.”

“Brock isn’t a stranger, he’s my guest, and you’re kicking him out very rudely, so that’s bullshit,” Y/N argues.

“Um, hey,” Brock interjects shyly, “I don’t want to get in the middle of.. whatever this is that’s starting, so I’m gonna just, you know, head out,” Brock says awkwardly, interrupting the current conversation and standing up.

“What, you are?” Y/N looks at him with a bit of disappointment. She wasn’t really that upset over Brock wanting to leave, finding more relief in it than anything. But she didn’t want him to leave because it would mean Michael would have won, and then she’d also lose further opportunity in trying to get over her feelings for Michael, or attempts, at least.

“Yeah, I’ll just see you later,” he smiles a bit and grabs his jacket off the couch and walks past Michael, still avoiding eye contact and leaves out the door without another word being said.

Y/N watches quietly as Brock leaves without even looking back. Y/N crosses her arms and glares back at Michael, a bit of humiliation and obvious anger showing on her face, remaining silent until the door shuts behind Brock.

“Glad that’s over with,” Michael speaks fluidly and walks off towards his bedroom door, thrilled Brock is finally gone and not just away from Y/N, but also that no other opportunity to be kissing her or whatever else will occur now.

"Glad that’s over with? What is wrong with you,” Y/N calls out, turning to him as he walks by her, obviously frustrated with the situation. “That was so rude and embarrassing! You had no right in doing any of that.”

Michael turns to her, “Look, I know it’s your apartment, but it’s mine too, and I wasn’t comfortable having him here.”

“He was here for me, not you,” she states. “Why would it make you uncomfortable to have him over when he’s not even here to see you in the first place, and we weren’t doing anything that would have bothered you anyway,” she says. “You weren’t even supposed to be here, but I’m allowed to have whoever I want over and when I want.”

“No you aren’t,” Michael snaps, his fists suddenly tightening by his sides. “Not when it’s some weird, random guy that you haven’t mentioned to me about.”

“I have mentioned him before,” Y/N points out. “He’s not some weird, random guy. He’s from a class I had last semester,” Y/N says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Michael narrows his eyes, “You mean that’s the guy you’ve been going out with and texting and shit?” Michael points, tone becoming more irritated. “You had one class with him and then ran into him on campus. You hardly know the guy, and you have him over in our shared apartment without me knowing?”

“Oh, what, I need your permission now in who I go out with?” She furrows her eyes. “You never ask me for ‘permission’ when you bring girls over.”

“That’s completely different,” Michael exclaims, gesturing out. “This is you and some guy you hardly know, and you two were fucking making out! Who knows what else could have happened!”

“Who cares?” Y/N speaks confused and frustrated. The way Michael was talking to her made her feel like she was some kind of child. She and Brock had been seeing each other for just the last few weeks but she knew him a lot better than Michael did with the girls he hangs with. “What does that have to do with anything? That’s between he and I.”

“No, it’s not. You can’t just be fucking making out with some random guy in our apartment without me knowing. You should have checked with me first!” He calls.

“Why are you so mad and yelling,” Y/N crosses her arms. “You’ve been so weird lately and just,” she shakes her head, “over-protective. What’s up your ass?” She asks, causing Michael to roll his eyes. “You know you have been, don’t you dare deny it,” she points.

Michael had been acting a bit strange lately whenever Y/N happened to mention the new guy she had been talking to. From a series of interrogating questions, to annoyed behavior and a short temper, always emphasizing that Y/N should be careful. Y/N never thought anything of it, always thinking Michael was just in a bad mood from class or work and she just caught him at the wrong times, while also being a normal best friend and warning her to be safe.

But she didn’t know that Michael’s “weird” and “over-protective” behavior was due to him being jealous and actually upset over having to hear about Y/N talk and gush about some guy she was apparently crushing on, her smiling and giggling over texts and saying how nice and great he was. Michel hated hearing it, but couldn’t tell her to stop without making it obvious the reason why.

“I’m not being weird or anything,” he glares. “You just can’t be doing this,” he says, knowing he didn’t have any other valid argument and his behavior wasn’t making any sense. But he was too scared to admit the truth.

Y/N stares at him, her expression implying that was the dumbest argument she’s ever heard, which Michael knows, but wasn’t going to be admitting that either.

“What,” Michael exclaims, shrugging his shoulders.

“I just,” she shakes her head in disbelief, “can’t be doing this? What, dating? Having guys over for movie nights and stuff? Having fun?”

“Yes, dating and having guys over for movie nights and stuff and having fun,” Michael clarifies matter of fact.

“You literally bring girls home all the time?” Y/N calls out. “What’s the difference? Plus, Brock is really chill and nice,” she explains.

“Brock? Really?” Michael crosses his arms over his chest and raises his eyes. “He’s just using you.”

Y/N drops her jaw, offended. “Using me? For what?”

“You know exactly what,” Michael drops his arms and gestures an arm out. “You’re not stupid, you know all he wants is one thing and that is all he is trying to get from you. And once he gets it, he’ll be done with you.”

“First of all, you don’t know anything about Brock. Second, you do the exact same shit to girls. All the time,” she emphasizes. “You bring them over here, without my ‘permission’, and you ‘hardly know them,’” she mocks.

“It’s consensual,” Michael steps forward. “Before I bring them home, they know it’s just a hook-up, a one time thing. But that’s besides the point,” he waves off. “You deserve better than some guy who’s just trying to use you for a one quick fuck.”

“Who are you, my dad?” She shakes her head dumbfounded. “I can make my own decisions, Michael.”

“I don’t want your first time having sex to be with some loser asshole who doesn’t care about you,” Michael states quite genuinely, because Michael is sincere about that and obviously cares for her, but is also indirectly possessive and doesn’t want her to be with anyone else either.

“Um, hold on a second, my first time?” Y/N raises her eyes. “I’ve had, you know, sex before,” she says as confidently as she can.

Michael laughs out, crossing his arms again over her response and the way she spoke it, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, I wanted to let you have your moment, but I just couldn’t hold it in.”

“I’ve done it,” Y/N says a bit shyly as her face heats up with embarrassment and annoyance.

“No you haven’t,” Michael grins. “Trust me, I know. Your response alone would have told me that too, but I just know you.”

“Wha -- I,” She trails off, her jaw dropping a bit, trying to think of something to say and to put Michael in his place in some way, even though she knows he’s right.

Michael raises his eyes, smirking, knowing the truth about her.

Y/N breathes out frustrated and a bit embarrassed still. “Fine. Whatever. Fuck you.”

Michael bites his tongue, holding back the urge to make her words a reality. He’s been waiting for a moment between them to happen for forever it seems now. But he’s always been unsure of when to make the move, always being worried and afraid of being rejected and to ruin their friendship in any way, of course being unaware of her feeling the same way back.

“You’re just mad because you know I’m right -- about everything,” Michael says.

“You’re so fucking annoying,” she scoffs. “Is this how it’s always going to be? Whenever I date a guy now and bring him over or anything, I have to get your ‘permission’ and check in with you? I mean, you’re not my fucking dad or brother or something.”

“I’m your best friend, and roommate,” Michael states, as if that has any power in the situation. 

“Who’s currently pissing me off,” Y/N states harshly.

“I would just rather you wait to date a guy that’s actually nice and cares for you and treats you well and won’t use you for sex,” Michael says.

“That’s not your choice,” Y/N states confidently. “You may be my best friend, but you don’t know everything about me. How do you know I don’t want to just hurry up and have sex and get it over with?”

Michael narrows his eyes, surprised to hear her say something like that considering he knows the kind of person she is, thus leaving him momentarily confused.

“Maybe I don’t think it’s that big of a deal so I’m just trying to live my life. Or, maybe Brock really does care about me and it’s headed somewhere good. We both know you know nothing about him since you kicked him out so fast,” she speaks aggravated.

“I know how you think, Y/N. I know how you work,” Michael raises his head arrogantly. “You just have a half ass crush on that guy because he’s putting in all this effort and seems really great, but actually he’s just trying to fuck you one time and then move on to the next girl. And then, you’ll be left heartbroken.”

“Trust me, you really don’t know how I work, because I’m not dating him for that reason at all,” Y/N crosses her arms.

Michael gives a confused expression, more confused than he was just seconds ago.

Y/N just rolls her eyes. “Whatever. He’s gone, it’s done, and I’m done with this conversation now,” she says as she drops her arms and walks past Michael to go to her room for the evening. She’s too irritated and frustrated with Michael to continue speaking to him any further about Brock, sex, his annoying behavior this evening, or any of the events of tonight.

So she walks into her room, ready for this night to end and to think about what she’s going to do about her feelings of Michael since going out with Brock is now a total bust.

She pushes her bedroom door behind her as she steps in, allowing the door to close on it’s own. But her bedroom door slams shut a second later instead, drawing her attention as the shut was too harsh for it to be have been done by her.

Y/N narrows her eyes when she sees Michael standing in her room, clearly being the one to have slammed the door behind her and him now, too. She crosses her arms as she faces him, eyeing him bemused but still irritated from everything.

“I said I was done with the conversation. Don’t you dare try to--”

Michael strides over to Y/N assertively as she speaks, grabbing her waist and pulling her into him, causing her arms to drop as she presses her palms to Michael’s chest and he crashes his lips against Y/N’s, halting her words.

Shock and complete confusion muddles Y/N’s mind as she finds the moment to be too good to be true, her heart racing a million miles a minute. A breath-taking euphoria overtakes her, her not wanting this moment to ever end as Michael has just taken control of this situation and kissed her.

Y/N’s so immersed in the feeling of Michael’s lips against hers; his hands and arms wrapping around her securely, it feeling like he will never let her go; that she doesn’t process the next moment when she and Michael are stumbling back to her bed and falling over onto the soft mattress.

“You confuse the absolute fuck out of me,” Michael breathes out, almost hissing, once he pulls away from Y/N, kneeling up over her as she watches him pull his black t-shirt off and throw it to the side, exposing his fit torso. His bun is a bit messy now with all of the sudden actions, a few strands of his hair falling around his face like earlier when her mind had wandered off to him, looking unbelievably enticing.

“One day, you’re giggling like some innocent school girl over that idiot asshole, and now, you’re implying that you were dating Brock just to fuck?” He glares. “To get that shit over with?” Michael leans in, colliding his lips with Y/N’s again as a hand clasps against her cheek, hardly giving her any time to react.

Y/N moans lightly against Michael’s mouth when he bites down on her bottom lip, pulling back lightly, a hand of his gripping around her throat firmly.

“If anyone is going to fuck you, it’s going to be me,” Michael practically seethes against her lips, causing a shiver to run through Y/N’s core from the husky and possessive nature of Michael’s words.

Michael’s other hand roams down Y/N, feeling along her body before pushing the fabric of her dress up and allowing his fingers to brush and rub against her through her underwear, already feeling the wetness that’s beginning to gather at her center, causing her breath to hitch all together as she feels his touch against her.

“And from the feel of it, it seems like you agree,” Michael speaks cockily with a devilish smirk, kissing her again before Y/N can say anything, feeling like her skin is on fire, knowing she’s in for a night of a lifetime.

~

A/N: Let me know what you think! Any and all feedback is much appreciated! <3

[smkkbert]

Oliver feels like his life is crumbling when his best friend reveals that she is sick. Desperate to help her through the toughest time of her life, Oliver puts all his energy in fulfilling the wishes on Felicity’s bucket list. His hardest challenge - Felicity’s last wish on the list is getting married.

Previous Chapters: 1 2 3 4

* * *

Chapter 5: Irritation

Remembering how his former best friend Tommy Merlyn had once told him that everyone could waitress, Oliver scoffed now. He was almost moving in slow motion to get the tray of breakfast upstairs safely. Every moment caused the precious porcelain to shake slightly, and some drops of coffee were already dropping from the pot.

Oliver wasn’t used to working as a waiter. He was actually used to people serving him since he had grown up with Raisa and a couple more employees in the house. When he had needed or even just wanted something, someone had taken care that his wishes were heard. Being a Queen had always meant enjoying all the luxury in life, at least that was what he had taken from his childhood and youth.

For Felicity, he was gladly forgetting all of the privileges and all of the luxury he was used to. If she needed a waiter, it was going to be him. He’d do it happily. Whatever he could do for her, even if it was something small as carrying her breakfast upstairs to her bed, he’d do it. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for her.

Arriving at her door, Oliver knocked at it softly.

“Come in.”

Oliver was surprised about the fact how quickly Felicity answered. He had assumed that she was still fast asleep since she hadn’t been down for breakfast yet. Usually, she was getting up earlier.

Balancing the tray on one hand, Oliver opened the door and stuck his head inside of her room. Felicity was sitting on the edge of the bed already. She looked tired and exhausted. She looked like she was in need of sleep rather than getting up from a night long of sleep. It had become a habit lately.

Taking a closer look, Oliver could see that Felicity had already moved one foot into the leg of her jeans. Since her left arm had refused to stop working a week ago, she had trouble to make her second foot get into the other leg though.

The sight broke his head. Oliver knew how much Felicity loved to be independent. All her life, she had done her best to know that she was going to be independent of everyone and everything. She had seen her mother falling apart at all the stress she had been burdened with after Felicity’s father had left. He had left his daughter and her mother without any message and without any money.

Donna Smoak had had to work several jobs at the same time to make sure that her daughter had a roof over her head and some good food in her stomach. It had been enough for her daughter to have a somewhat safe life, but it hadn’t been nearly enough to get her daughter the life that Donna Smoak would have wanted for Felicity. Despite her high intellect, Felicity had needed to go to public schools, and she had only been able to go to college when she had been accepted into scholarships.

Felicity had watched her mother killing herself slowly by working too much just so she could afford a good life for her daughter. She had missed all important appointments for check-ups with her doctors because Felicity had been everything that had mattered to her.

Watching her mother like that had told Felicity in young years already that she would never make herself dependent on a man or anyone really who could leave.

Now, on top of everything else that she had to give up, she had to bite back her pride and count on people to help her. Oliver couldn’t even imagine how hard that had to be on her.

“Hey.”

Hey. He felt stupid for saying just that. It wasn’t a real greeting, more like a little something to say anything at all. Felicity smiled at the sound of that little syllable though. She always did because it was like a little thing just between them.

“Morning,” Felicity replied softly, “you brought me breakfast.”

“I did.”

Oliver smiled. He hurried to carry the tray towards Felicity’s nightstand. He put it down there, pushing it back as far as possible, so it hopefully wouldn’t fall down.

Taking in a deep breath, he turned around and smiled at Felicity then. She was holding his gaze, but her smile was rather hesitant. She didn’t want to ask, but she needed help.

Without saying a word, Oliver kneeled down in front of Felicity. He grabbed her ankle gently and guided her foot into the leg of her jeans. Once both of her feet had come out on the other end, she placed them on the fluffy carpet in front of the bed. With her right hand at Oliver’s shoulder to help her balance herself, she got up. Oliver pulled the pants up her legs and buttoned it.

His eyes met Felicity’s, and he could see the embarrassment in hers. She had trouble holding his gaze, feeling an urge to look away. Her cheeks were covered in a rosy color. Her lips were trembling slightly.

“I really need to hire a nurse.”

Felicity was chuckling about her comment, but it didn’t sound honest. It also didn’t reach her eyes. She could pretend to be amused by all of this, but she really wasn’t. Letting someone, even if it was Oliver, help her getting dressed was far out of her comfort zone.

“My mother is working on that.”

It wasn’t a lie. Once he had told his mother that Felicity couldn’t feel or move her left arm anymore, she had decided that it was time to find a nurse. She had already viewed some applications, but she did have high demands. Just like Oliver, she wanted the person to take care of Felicity to be perfect. Neither of them would settle for anything less.

“She told me that twelve people applied already.”

Oliver nodded his head slowly, but he didn’t say word. He knew that Felicity already knew why they had been rejected. Moira as well as Oliver had been too hard. They hadn’t wanted to give any of them a chance. Well, Moira had actually been ready to let three of them try, but Oliver had turned them down.

“Neither of them was perfect,” he simply said, shrugging his shoulders, “and I won’t let anyone take care of you that isn’t perfect.”

“And who will get me dressed as long as you haven’t found the right person?”

“I will.”

Oliver’s response was firm, and it came without any hesitance because he wasn’t hesitant to do this. He wouldn’t let anyone take care of Felicity unless he was sure that that person was capable of taking care of her. When it came to Felicity, the best was just good enough. He doubted that he was the best, but he was certainly better than a stranger.

When Felicity didn’t reply, Oliver looked at her face. Her lips were pursed and her eyes narrowed down on him slightly. There was something in her facial expression that told Oliver that there were things going on in her mind. There was always something going on there since Felicity always seemed to be deep in thought.

“What’s going on in here?”

Oliver tapped the tip of his forefinger against Felicity’s forehead. She had to squint to do so, but she followed the movement of his finger against her forehead. It was sweet, and it caused Oliver to chuckle.

Felicity had to blink several times before her eyes could focus on him again. The slightest brush spread on her cheeks, and she lowered her gaze quickly. With a long sigh, she sat back down on the bed. Her right hand pulled her left hand into her lap where she rested both of them.

She looked sad and that wasn’t something that Oliver liked at all. Hence, he crouched down and put his hands to hers.

“Talk to me.”

It took a moment before Felicity lifted her gaze towards him. She didn’t have to say anything for him to know what was coming.

“I know that we have had this conversation before,” Felicity said, “but I feel like I have to say it again. You cannot stop living to take care of me. You have to go out and meet people. You have to have some fun.”

Oliver sighed. They had had this conversation a couple of times already. Whenever Felicity got the impression that he was giving up too much of his life to take care of her, they had this conversation. It happened again and again, and Oliver just hated it.

He had tried to tell her again and again that it wasn’t about taking care of her. It was about spending time with her. She was his best friend and they had limited time, so of course he preferred to cancel or delay other events to stay close to her.

Felicity didn’t believe him though. In her mind, she was doing all of this to pay back the kindness she had shown him after Thea had died. She felt like she was a burden to him and everyone around. Oliver hated that too.

“Time doesn’t stop just because I am dying.”

And he hated that even more. Felicity’s selflessness was admirable at times, but it was annoying lately. He didn’t want her to think that life could just go on while she was dying or once she had left the living.

Time would certainly go on, but he couldn’t say the same for his life.

“You should try the scrambled eggs.”

Changing the subject was Oliver’s usual tactic when it came to this kind of conversations. He couldn’t tell Felicity that she had to stop talking like that. It would only intensify her belief that she was right, so she would increase the frequency and firmness in telling him to go on with his life. They would eventually get into a fight, and Oliver wouldn’t let that happen.

He picked some of the scrambled eggs with the fork and led it to her lips. Felicity pursed her lips for a moment, looking at Oliver intensely. She was calculating how smart it was to drop this subject now. At the end, she decided that it was the best choice he could make right now.

Oliver’s heart jumped in his chest happily when Felicity opened her mouth and actually took the scrambled eggs he had offered. He knew how much it took for her to eat anything, especially in the morning, these days. Raisa had trashed several plates of breakfast since Felicity had moved in here, but it had only increased her motivation to find something that Felicity actually felt able to eat.

When Oliver picked some more pieces of scrambled eggs with the fork and brought it near Felicity’s lips, she scrunched up her nose. She was used to talking herself into eating one fork, just to please Oliver or Raisa whoever was with her when she was having breakfast, but two forks might be too much for her.

At the end, Felicity took the fork. She needed a lot longer to chew and swallow the food this time though. It was why Oliver put the fork down and handed her the glass of orange juice instead. Felicity would have probably preferred coffee, but she had given up on it almost completely. It was making her nausea only worse.

“We are running short on time,” he told her, “so you should get dressed as soon as possible.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “Short on time for what? I didn’t know that we had plans.”

“I know,” Oliver said quickly, nodding his head, “because I didn’t want to tell you before I was sure that the weather was okay. It has cooled down though, so I think it’s the perfect time to go Christmas shopping.”

“Christmas shopping?” Felicity frowned. “It’s almost four months to Christmas.”

“I know,” Oliver said again and couldn’t hide a smile, “but maybe Christmas will be sooner than you think this year.”

Felicity’s frown deepened even more. She pulled her bottom lip between her front teeth, biting down on it. He could see that she was about to start another conversation about the little time she had left. She might not make it to the end of December when Christmas was happening.

Felicity decided to not say anything of that though. Instead, she put the empty glass down to the tray and pushed the blanket aside.

“I better get dressed then.”

Oliver nodded his head and clapped his hands. “Chop-chop.”

Felicity chuckled, looking back over her shoulder at where he was still sitting in bed, before she disappeared into the bathroom. Oliver released long breath. He would have to stay focused.

 * * *

 “You do know that you don’t have to carry all of this for me, right?”

Oliver shot Felicity a brief glance. For a second, he wondered if he should frown or smile. He decided for the latter, winking at Felicity teasingly.

“Of course I have to do so,” he told her, “because I am you little Christmas helper.”

“Like my Christmas elf?”

“I guess so,” Oliver replied and chuckled, “which would be a first for me.”

Oliver had been called a lot of things in his life, and he had been a lot of different things too, he guessed. Up until now, he had never been a Christmas elf. He had been called a Grinch one year though. Being a Christmas elf sounded much nicer.

Looking down at the many bags full of gifts that he was carrying, Oliver smiled. This morning had been utterly successful. He hadn’t thought that Felicity would be this fit to go shopping. The cooler weather seemed to help her in keeping energized though.

Looking at Felicity, Oliver smiled to himself. It was great to see her like this. She almost looked healthy. At least she didn’t look like death was hovering over her like a sword of Damocles. If it wasn’t for her left arm that was dangling down next to her body rather lifelessly, he could almost pretend that she was perfectly healthy. Almost.

The close Oliver looked at her, the more he could see how exhausted Felicity was. She had been up on her feet for the last three hours, not once taking a break to sit down and catch some rest. She had been okay with it as long as she had focused on finding nice things to gift to the people she loved. The exhaustion was crashing down over her now though.

“Why don’t we take a break?” he suggested.

“Sounds like a good plan,” Felicity replied, taking a look around briefly, “but we have to get into some side street. There is nothing here.”

“Maybe there is nowhere to get drinks or food.” Oliver put his hands to her shoulders and turned her around, so he could point over her shoulder. “Why don’t we do our break there?”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “In the library?”

“It doesn’t offer food, but-“

“I am not hungry anyway.”

Oliver had assumed that she wouldn’t be. She had lost a lot of weight since she had moved in with him because she simply didn’t eat much. When she did, she usually had to vomit later. It was something that Oliver needed to discuss with her doctor soon. He wasn’t sure if motivating her to eat, as he liked to do, was a good choice as it caused her to vomit more often. She couldn’t continue to eat this little either though.

“So, what do you say?” Oliver asked when Felicity didn’t give a real answer. “Should we go there?”

Felicity turned around to Oliver, looking at him teasingly. God, how much he had missed that cheeky smile on her face.

“You want to go into a library without anyone forcing you there?” She perked her up eyebrows. “And without any girl waiting there for you to devour her?”

Oliver pushed his cheek against the inside if his cheek and lowered his eyes to his feet. Felicity knew him so very well. He couldn’t hide anything from her, well, barely anything he guessed.

“One of your wishes,” he said eventually, lifting his gaze back to hers, “was to leave a note in a library book.”

Felicity’s eyes gave away the very moment that she remembered writing that wish down. The corners of her lips were twitching slightly before they spread into a full smile.

“We should definitely take that break in the library.”

“Then let’s go.”

Oliver held out his hand, and Felicity laced her fingers with his. Hand in hand, they stepped into the library where Oliver locked away the bags of gifts. When he turned back around, Felicity was looking towards the main area of the library. Thousands of books were spread over several floors in lot of tall shelves that reached from the floor to the ceiling.

A genius like Felicity just belonged in this place. It was obvious from the way her eyes were sparkling at the sight of these books.

Oliver stepped next to Felicity. “Ready?”

Felicity didn’t even turn her gaze towards him. She just grabbed his hand and nodded her head. Not saying a word, she started walking. Oliver let her lead the way, not saying a word or holding her back in any way. He went wherever she wanted to go, trusting her instincts. Felicity certainly knew how to orientate herself between all these shelves and books.

It took several minutes before Felicity stopped in front of one shelf. She looked around intently, skimming the book titles that were printed to the backs of the books. Oliver followed her gaze, trying to find out what she could be looking for. If there was any book about computers or technology in general, he would have known what she was looking for. There was nothing even remotely similar to that though.

“That one.”

Felicity lifted her right arm and pointed at one of the books. Oliver frowned, following her finger. He perked up his eyebrows when he discovered what book Felicity was pointing at.

“Really?” He looked at her skeptical. “That one?”

Felicity nodded her head, the smile on her face leaving no doubt that she was indeed sure what she was doing. She wanted that book.

With a low sigh, Oliver straightened up onto the tips of his toes and pulled the book out of the shelf. He held it in his hand for a moment, watching the cover, before he handed it to Felicity. She was holding the book in her right hand, her smile widening. She seemed to have made the perfect choice for herself.

“The Odyssey,” Oliver said quietly when they said down at one of the tables, “why that one?”

Felicity smiled. Her hand stoked over the cover of the book almost dignifiedly. An almost reverent smile spread on her lips. Apparently, the book had a specific meaning to her. He couldn’t wait to hear.

“When I first had cancer,” Felicity said, “I read this book.”

If Oliver had been drinking in this moment, he would have choked on his drink. This way, he was only choking on his spit he guessed.

“You read The Odyssey when you have been seven years old?”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders like it was the most normal thing that a person could possibly do. The little smile she shot him told him that she knew exactly how extraordinary that was though.

“Are you serious?”

“Well, I had a lot of time,” Felicity told him, “so I started by reading a book each day. The usual books for children bored me though, so I asked for other books. My mother had tried and failed miserably to bring me better books. A nurse eventually brought me this. It took me a couple of days, but I devoured it. After it, I only read classic books. They offered me a new perspective.”

“On what?”

“Everything.” Felicity shrugged her shoulders and smiled even more, a nostalgic expression spreading in her eyes. “Reading those books just changed everything.”

Oliver knew how much Felicity had always loved to read. It was one of her most favorite hobbies. When he visited her, he often found her immersed in a book. Sometimes, she was so busy reading that she opened the door, but immediately hushed him. He had spent half an hour waiting for her to look up from her page before saying a single word once.

Oliver himself was almost a little ashamed to admit that he didn’t read a lot of books. At least he was ashamed of it when he was talking to Felicity.

“I was supposed to read it in college-

“Which of the four colleges that you dropped out from?”

Oliver chuckled. She was being cheeky, and he loved that. He was missing that side of Felicity. “Anyway, I gave up after seven pages.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “Seven pages?”

“Yeah, counting from the cover.”

He scratched the back of his neck, while Felicity was counting the pages to find that he had made it to the first text page. He couldn’t say anything that would speak in his favor. He had just given up because giving up had been what he had always done when things had become complicated.

“I didn’t really understand a word, so…” Oliver shrugged his shoulder. “But I guess you, a little genius can tell me what it is about.”

“I could,” Felicity replied, shooting a brief glance to the woman that was working on the table next to them as she was throwing them angry glances, “but not here.”

Oliver nodded his head. He pushed his lips together and pretended to lock them with a key the way a child would do. Felicity smiled at that.

A low sigh fell from Oliver’s lips and he nodded towards the book. He could only imagine what note Felicity wanted to leave in the book. He knew that it would be personal because, otherwise, Felicity wouldn’t have added that wish to her book. Every single wish on that list was personal to her. He just knew that.

“Do you want a moment alone to write the note?”

Felicity smiled at him. “You wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course not.” Leaning over, he kissed her temple. “I actually have some things to do.”

“Really?”

“Really.” Oliver chuckled, shooting a glance at his watch. “We will meet downstairs at the lockers in thirty minutes, okay?”

Felicity nodded her head. “Okay.”

“If anything is going on,” Oliver added urgently, intensifying the way he looked at her, “you call me.”

“I am full-aged,” Felicity replied, “I think I can get alone for thirty minutes, unless the books start to attack us people for using them for entertainment.”

Oliver growled. He wouldn’t be surprised if the books attacked people someday. They held so much knowledge. Who told them that they weren’t going to use it against them one day?

“Don’t say that, or I will feel unable to-“

“Pssst.”

Turning his head around, Oliver saw the woman that had shot them angry glares before looking at them with pursed lips and an even angrier expression in her eyes. Obviously, she felt very much annoyed and disturbed by Oliver and Felicity’s whispers.

Oliver rolled his eyes slightly, and it caused Felicity giggle. She quickly bit it back though as the woman at the next table was already shooting her another angry glance.

If Oliver didn’t know Felicity that well, he might have continued to talk to her just to annoy that woman. Oliver knew that Felicity had been that annoyed woman a lot of times because she had always appreciated silence when she had been in the library. That was why he got up and kissed the top of her head instead.

Felicity chuckled quietly, leaning her head back. There was a sparkle in her eyes that brought so much life and light back that Oliver had missed in her face so much these past days.

“You are kissy lately.”

Oliver perked up his eyebrows. “Am I?”

Felicity nodded her head. “Hm-hmm.”

Maybe Felicity had been right. He had always kissed the top of her head, her temple, her forehead or her cheeks when he had felt like it. Before Felicity had moved in with him, he had made sure to only kiss her during important events or whatever. He hadn’t wanted to kiss her too often and cause her to suspect anything.

It was harder to keep resisting those innocent kisses now though.

“I can show you how kissy exactly I am.”

Framing her face with his hands, Oliver started to pepper sweet little kisses all over her face. His lips brushed against her forehead and her temples. They took a path down her right cheek and over her chin to her left cheek. Then he kissed the tip of her nose which made her scrunch up her nose and squeeze her eyes shut.

Oliver pulled back a little to watch Felicity’s face. Her face looked completely relaxed in his hands. She looked so very happy that Oliver simply couldn’t resist.

Leaning down, he placed a firm kiss on her mouth.

Oliver could feel the surprise in Felicity’s reaction. She hesitated at first, almost flinching a little, which was why Oliver almost pulled back. Just when he wanted to do so, he felt Felicity relaxing against him. Her lips grew soft and low sigh fell from them.

Everything inside of Oliver was fluttering in the best way possible. He had wished for this so long, to just kiss Felicity the way that she deserved to be kissed. It felt so good, even better than he had assumed it would. He had never felt this way when he had kissed anyone, and he guessed it was because he had never loved anyone the way he loved Felicity. With her, everything was extraordinary.

Soon, too soon actually, Oliver pulled back and opened his eyes to look at Felicity. Her eyes were still closed. Her tongue stroked over the seam between her lips, wetting them. She looked so beautiful.

When Felicity opened her eyes, there was an almost hazy expression in them. Her eyes locked with him instantly, and it caused her cheeks to blush. It only made her look more beautiful. Oliver kept his hands at her face, stroking his thumbs over her cheeks, tracing the soft red color of her blush.

“Oliver, what-“

“I am very sorry.”

When the staff member of the library stepped closer, Oliver let go of Felicity’s face and took a step back. He linked his hands behind his back to stop himself from the urge of reaching out for her once more. His fingers were itching with the need to touch her again.

“We were too loud,” Oliver said immediately, smiling apologetically, “I am sorry.”

“Some people are working here, so I have to ask you to be quiet. If you want to talk, we have lounges in the north wing of the library and-“

“No, no,” Oliver said quickly, “I was just about to leave anyway.”

He looked at Felicity intently, trying to tell her with his eyes what he couldn’t say her in words right now. He hoped that she would understand, but he wasn’t sure.

Continuing to look at her, Oliver hesitated from turning away. He didn’t want to leave things like that, not after that kiss. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them. They needed a chance to talk about this.

“We see each other in thirty minutes.”

Felicity shot him a brief smile before she turned away. She grabbed the book, a sheet of white paper and a pen. Without looking back, she started writing.

Oliver frowned. If he wasn’t sure that he hadn’t been asleep, he would assume that he had just dreamed of that kiss to happen. Felicity seemed to have forgotten about it already.

Pursing his lips, Oliver turned around and left. Moving more and more away from her, he lifted his hands and touched his lips. He almost thought that he should be able to feel a difference there like her kiss had changed his body as much as it had moved his heart.

Stepping outside into the cool breeze, Oliver closed his eyes and took in a deep breath.

He couldn’t believe that he had kissed Felicity. Of course it had been long overdue in some ways as he should have kissed her years ago when he had first noticed that he was falling in love with her. On the other hand, he had always thought that it had been way too late for them to be anything more than friends. The last years had just changed both of them too much.

Maybe he had been wrong. Maybe they still had a chance if he just used the time they had left together.

With his hand already as the handle of the door, Oliver took a quick look around. No nosy reporters seemed to be around, so he quickly stepped into the shop and stepped to the showcase. He didn’t waste a glance at the exhibited pieces and looked right at the saleswoman instead.

“Hi,” he said with a nervous smile, “Oliver Queen. I-“

“I know. Just a second.”

The saleswoman flashed him a joyful smile before she grabbed her keys and opened some door in the back. She disappeared behind it, leaving Oliver to wait. With the strict gaze that the security guard that was standing at the door was shooting him, Oliver didn’t dare to move. He didn’t understand much of the offered goods here anyway.

Barely half a minute later, the saleswoman came back. Her smile was even wide now that she placed the small velvet box on the showcase in front of him.

“You should take a look to make sure that everything is exactly the way that you imagine it to be.”

Oliver’s hands were trembling slightly when he grabbed the box and opened it. The ring inside was rather small and inconspicuous, but he knew Felicity wouldn’t have wanted the kind of ring that would pull her down on the ground if she ever fell into the water. That was why he had decided on a platin ring that consisted of two strings that were intervened with each other in soft knots. They were holding a simple round diamond.

“It’s perfect.”

With a smile, he closed the velvet box and out it back down onto the showcase. He was going to make Felicity’s wishes come true and maybe his own too.

 * * *

 Summing the melody of a song she had just listened to on the radio, Felicity strolled downstairs. She wasn’t exactly hungry, but she was always joining the Queens for dinner if she was feeling good enough for it. It was fun spending time with the three of them together. It always gave her the sense of having a family on her own.

She couldn’t wait to hear Moira telling her which charity she was planning now while she was rolling her eyes about how some of her friends pretended like they were saving the entire plant with their charity. She also wanted to hear the latest news from Queen Consolidated, knowing that Robert always told her if there was something new to know and sometimes even asked her advice if he thought that she was fit enough to think about work. Felicity knew that Oliver only engaged in those dinner conversations because he wanted to do her a favor. He had grown up with these family moments, so he didn’t appreciate them as much as Felicity did.

Felicity crossed the large entrance foyer, shooting a look at the table full of photos like she always did. Oliver had been spoilt with a maybe not perfect, but certainly good family. He had grown up with both of his parents around. While they had surely been too strict at times and too laissez-faire at other times, they had been there when they had been needed the most.

Felicity didn’t have that privilege because her mother hadn’t had the luxury of being at home for dinner most days.

The thought made Felicity sad, so she quickly pushed it away and continued her way to the dining room. Stepping into it, she frowned though. Neither Oliver nor his parents were there. The table wasn’t set as she was used to it either. Felicity glanced at her watch, but she hadn’t been wrong.

“Ms. Felicity.”

Turning around, Felicity watched Raisa coming in. She was smiling softly.

“Raisa. Where is everyone?”

“Mr. and Mrs. Queen have gone out for dinner,” she told her, “and Mr. Oliver is waiting for you in the garden.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “In the garden?”

“Yes, he asked for dinner to be served outside.”

“Oh.”

Felicity couldn’t say that she was too happy about that. The cool weather she had been granted yesterday hadn’t lasted until today. The sun was back with full power. The sticky heat had kept Felicity inside all day.

“It was set up at the gazebo,” Raisa told her with a smile, knowing Felicity’s health condition well enough to understand what she was thinking about, “so it wouldn’t be too warm. It’s rather cool there. I brought out a blanket in case you were freezing.”

Since Felicity knew that Raisa wouldn’t lie to her, she nodded her head. She guessed that she could at least give the dinner outside a try.

“Thank you, Raisa.”

“You are welcome.”

Felicity smiled at Raisa before she went outside. On the terrace that was exposed to the fun completely, the unbearable heat felt like a wall she was running against. Her chest seemed to be unable to take in the heavy air for a moment. Felicity’s circulation didn’t react well to it either. She had to tighten her hold on the door handle and close her eyes for a moment.

She wished it was autumn already.

Once Felicity had her balance back, she crossed the terrace and took down the path towards the shadowy part of the garden. She would have run if she didn’t have trouble to put one foot before the other as it was. If she tried to walk even a little bit faster, she’d trip.

The walk was easier once she had reached the shadows. She strolled over the new path and a smiled when she saw the concrete slab that she and Oliver had designed.

Turning the next corner, she reached the small pond and the wooden gazebo that was built next to it. It just reminded Felicity once more how castle-like Oliver’s home was. If she was a little kid, she’d feel like a princess.

As Felicity stepped closer to the gazebo, she felt her heartbeat quickening a little. The wooden pillars that were holding the roof up were decorated with white and pink roses. The round table was set solemnly. A small bouquet of white and pink roses framed a candle that was put in the middle of the table.

Only on second sight, Felicity saw Oliver. He was standing at the banister of the gazebo, looking out on the pond. He was wearing jeans and a blue plaid shirt with rolled up sleeves. Although he had turned his back towards her, Felicity knew that he had kind of gotten dressed up, while Felicity herself was wearing sweat pants since they were the only pants that she could get into without help and a wide, white shirt.

Looking at Oliver in this scenery, Felicity bit down on her tongue.

She had done her best to not think about the kiss she and Olive had shared yesterday. It was too confusing to think about it. At first, she had believed that it was just a joke, one last big kiss to show how kissy he was. The longer his lips had stayed against hers, the more she had thought she could feel that he was really meaning it. Once their lips had parted, Felicity hadn’t been so sure anymore.

It was difficult to figure out what exactly had been happening there. She and Oliver hadn’t talked about it either which only made it worse.

Biting down on her tongue even harder, Felicity sucked in a deep breath.

There had been a time that she had thought that her bond with Oliver could go into a different reaction. They had been as close as they were now. They had told each other everything, and they had sought each other’s presence. They had even sought each other’s touches. Whenever they had touched or the lock of their eyes had lasted a second longer than was normal, there had been some heavy tension between them.

Felicity actually remembered that she had gotten all dressed up one night because Oliver had wanted to come over. She had believed that it was going to be their night whatever exactly that was supposed to mean.

Instead, she had waited at her home for several hours. When Oliver had called her eventually, he had told her that Thea was in surgery after she had had a terrible accident. She had spent the rest of the night in the hospital to be there for him and his family, and she had been with them when the doctor had told him that Thea hadn’t made it.

After that, everything had been different. The entire situation had been different. Their friendship had been different. Most importantly, Oliver had been different after that night.

Before Thea’s death, Oliver had been quiet, but happy. He had often been sitting with her and just listened to her talking. His eyes had been focused on her lips as he had just listened to what she had been saying. In those moments, it had been just them, and they had been everything that had mattered.

After Thea’s death, Oliver’s grief had caused him to grow a love for adrenaline kicks. He had been chasing through the streets on his motorcycle, not caring for red traffic lights or speed limits. If he hadn’t been riding his bike, he had been drinking or been drunk. It had been a horror seeing him like that.

One night, it would have been Thea’s birthday, Oliver had been so very drunk when Felicity had arrived at Queen Manor that she had decided to just put him to bed before she would leave again. She had put his arm over her shoulder and helped him sitting down on the edge of the mattress. When she had started unbuttoning his shirt to help him get rid of his clothes, he had suddenly grabbed her wrists and pulled her in for a kiss.

A shiver ran down Felicity’s spine at the memory. He had tasted of the drinks he had been drinking before. She had pushed him away gently, telling him that it wouldn’t be a good idea. He had apologized to her for kissing him, and Felicity had explained to him that he didn’t have to apologize. She just hadn’t wanted their first kiss to be like that. He promised her to do better before he had fallen asleep.

The next day, he had either been so embarrassed that he hadn’t been able to talk to her about it or he had forgotten all about it. Either way, that kiss had never been a subject between them again. Neither had whatever there might have been between them before Thea’s death.

A couple of weeks ago, Felicity would have certainly been open to talk about that after all. She had known that Oliver had just needed time to get back on his feet after Thea’s death. He had needed time, and she had absolutely understood it.

It was too late now though.

Felicity’s heart ached a little at that thought. Oliver still meant the world to her. Because of that, she didn’t want him to try initiate anything between them now. As her friend, he would suffer a lot once she died. As her boyfriend, it would certainly be a thousand times worse.

If Oliver tried to change the status of their bond now, Felicity thought to herself, she would have to pull the ripcord for its own good. She was selfish enough to use his friendship, so she wouldn’t have to die alone in a hospice. She could never be selfish enough to let him fall in love with her, just so she had the chance to explore what it was like being with him.

Felicity had an explanation to soften the blow for him somehow. She wouldn’t be good at it, but she would do it. At the end, she would have maybe a couple of months to live in misery. Oliver would have years of doing so.

When Felicity reached the foot of the three stairs that led to the inside of the gazebo, Oliver finally turned around to her. He smiled at her almost a little nervously. With some quick steps, he stepped towards her. He offered her a hand that she took gladly. Climbing stairs wasn’t her favorite thing to do now.

Oliver led Felicity towards the banister. Felicity understood now why Oliver had been standing here the entire time. The way that the sun mirrored in the pond, reflecting the rays of light and making the water sparkle, was just beautiful to watch. It looked like a little miracle, a miracle of nature.

Turning back to Oliver eventually, Felicity sat down on the banister and cocked her head at him. Her eyebrows perked up slightly.

“What is all of this?”

She nodded towards the decorations and the table. Oliver’s gaze followed the nod of her head. He took in the setting like he only saw it now. When he turned back towards her, his eyes locking with hers, he grinned though.

“It’s a surprise.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “A surprise?”

“Yes.” Oliver nodded his head. “You know, those pleasant things that should make people smile when they need it.”

“I do know what a surprise is.”

Felicity punched his shoulder with her fist playfully. Olive pretended to be utterly hurt by it, putting his hand to his shoulder and whining in pain. Felicity only chuckled, shaking her head. Sometimes, Oliver could be so perfectly ridiculous.

“So this is your surprise for me?”

“It’s part of the surprise,” Oliver replied, “the rest will come later.”

Felicity snorted. “You can’t possibly hold onto it for any later. You barely manage to wait longer than ten seconds to tell me anything.”

“You overestimate my need to tell you anything.”

Felicity grinned. She was almost sure that this was a challenge, and she accepted it gladly. Wrapping Oliver around her little finger and making him tell her everything she wanted to hear was basically one of her best skills.

Getting up from the banister, Felicity stepped in front of Oliver and tapped the tips of her fingers against Oliver’s chest repeatedly. He was trying to hide it, but he was already having trouble biting back his chuckle. His body was shaking from the laughter he was biting back.

“Tell me,” Felicity whispered, “you know that you want to tell me.”

Oliver scrunched up his nose, trying to resist her, but she could already see the walls he had been building up crumbling.

“Tell me,” she repeated.

Oliver pressed his lips together like he was trying to hold back the words she was trying to elicit from him. It didn’t take long before he gave up with a long sigh.

“Fine,” he said, “but this is all on you.”

“I will take full responsibility,” Felicity promised with a smile, “so tell me.”

“Oh, I am not going to tell you.” Oliver leaned in and brushed his lips against the shell of her ear. “I will show you.”

Felicity pulled back slightly, so she could look at Oliver’s face. She frowned at him, not quite understanding what he was trying to say.

When he suddenly dropped to his knee in front of her, Felicity’s heart skipped a beat before it started racing in her chest. She had trouble breathing. The blood was rushing in her ear, making it hard to hear anything. The entire world seemed to stand still.

“Felicity.”

Only he could say her name in that special way. It always sounded like he was saying more than a name. He was saying a magic spell or whatever. Oliver didn’t know for sure.

“For the last few years, you have meant the world to me. You have been my best friend, my closest confidant, my rock. You have helped me through the darkest of my days, and you have lightened that darkness by just being you.”

Oliver made a pause, and Felicity wondered if he wanted her to say something. There was no way that a single sound would fall from her lips though.

“Felicity Megan Smoak,” he said then, his smile widening when he pulled out the blue velvet box to reveal a diamond ring that was inside, “will you marry me?”

Felicity looked at Oliver intently, watching the expression on his face. He was looking at her so urgently. He almost looked like a man that was really in love with a woman and wanting to get married to her. His lips were spread into a hopeful smile, a smile that said that he wanted his proposal to be accepted.

There was a terrible turmoil going on in Felicity’s head. The last few years of confusing feelings as well as the last weeks of irritating thoughts were replaying in her mind. Her gaze locked with Oliver’s even more.

It took her several tries. She had to swallow against the lump in her throat trice. Even then her voice sounded hoarse and unlike herself. Finally, a sound fell from her lips though.

“Oliver, what the fracking hell do you think you are doing here?”

* * *

@fannaz​ @promiseyoullbepatientwithme​ @bytemegeekette​ @felicity-said-just-in-case​ @phanseptiic​ @orangeisorange​ @mspotatohead14​ @whentheheavenfades​ @emmaamelia95​ @smoakingskye​ @seaolicity​ @ourwritinginvein​ @1022bridgetp​ @felicityqueenforever​ @leagueofolicity17​ @yryssss​ @myhauntedblacksoul​ @sherlock44​ @sinceriouslybea​ @olivyflavescentdeer​ @olicitys-castle​ @ofnothingcharming​ @vaelisamaza​ @smoakedandcharmed​ @alexisa1206​ @mysaudadespt2​ @florence-bubbles​ @addictiontelly​ @queens-of-arrows​ @memcjo​ @hysterical-for-joshifer-blog​ @oswinelevenforever​ @olicitylovemaking @bandanab310​ @mymusiclove101​ @lynslogic​ @scarletqueen23​ @olicityshipper19​ @alex-wesley​ @arrows-4ever​ @unabashedlynerdypatrol​ @louehmysoul​ @ligiapimenta​ @chattyyana​ @charlie-leau​ @coal000​ @samcrowleys​ @ishippolivia​ @julianegomesqueen​ @malafle​ @miriam1779​ @charlinert​ @melaux​ @ontheolicityship​ @myshipperlife​ @wrightainsley @lexi9515​ @ladygreenwood​ @multi-fandom-crazy-fangirl​ @morinamel​ @mje-thomas​ @kebarry​ @canadianheartgirl​ @nannett2307​ @almondblossomme​ @kathrynelizabeth89​ @imdfabulous​ @mrt2501​ @arsipaci14​ @salasvia​ @brandis91​ @cainc3​ @morganmiguess​ @pr0fessi0nal-fangurl​ @iamisalima​ @nessafrancis-blog​ @jonhdiggle​ @niki-is-amazing​ @universed-posts​ @hopeful-warrior​ @senoritaswiftie​ @bellemmie​ @green-arrows-of-karamel​ @iheartarrow​ @olicityovereverything​ @oliverfel4​ @olicity-in-the-heart​ @fullychippedcreation​ @geemarie​ @everything-but-normal-cat @myarroworld​ @tjmartinezphotos​ @pleasantfanandstudent​ @j69confessional2​ @scentedcolorpirate​ @icanica74​ @tjmartinez98​ @certainmentalityface​ @tatianadamaceno @ryelew​ @wildwillowzepplin​ @missafairy​ @letsplaymurde-r​ @lipizette​ @positivepiper​ @nuttymilkshakehologram​ @laksagirl-blog​ @turnupthemusicandscream​ @pumpernickle93​ @onceuponanolicity​ @1106angel​ @jaspertownie​ @fadinglands​ @morganashimi83​ @mochababychristy​ @omglovechrissie​ @mariejr88-blog​ @thetaufactor​ @onceuponanolicity​ @speakandseethetruth​ @bri206​ @aglasgo​ @geemarie​ @pineprincess​ @nerdgirljen​ @eternal-olicity14​ @allyouhadtodowas-stay-stay-stay​ @lovelycssefan​ @tsseract​ @flowerandsunshine​ @dcnmarvelgamergeek​ @blondeeoneexox​ @monetsmark​ @bb-olicity​ @mashamarty​ @rulerofsilence​ @erika-amber​ @nothingmorethanmyotps​ @kayleenyc​ @tonto16​ @olicityfluv​ @olicitea1990​ @haahaaa2408​ @pattid1​ @faegal04​ @24karatgem​ @wrldtravler​ @readerkas​ @olicity-beliver​ @greencoffeecups​ @snorlaxishere​ @sonothappening118 @iamclystanieves

(If you want to be tagged or untagged, just let me know. :))

[jasmine-tea-latte]

A Mad Woman

(Fanfic time again! In this one, we’re exploring events from Mai’s POV.)

Read on AO3

Growing up, Mai had always been the quiet, proper daughter all other Fire Nation nobles wished they could have… until the day she met the Fire Prince.

He ultimately left her behind when he defected from the Fire Nation, with nothing more than a note and a broken heart to remember him by.

Then her entire world completely shattered six months later when she learned that Zuko had fallen in love with and proposed to a lowborn waterbender, even risking his life and throne in the process.

Mai thought she deserved every right to be furious by this turn of events, but of course, no one likes a mad woman.

Written as a companion piece to my Zutara-themed series The Phoenix and the Dragon.

Playlist

mad woman – taylor swift

lithium - evanescence

colors - halsey

shades of cool – lana del rey

love on the brain - rihanna

the chain - evanescence

someone like you – adele

going under - evanescence

eyes closed – halsey

shake it out – florence + the machine

invisible string – taylor swift

I know what you’re thinking - “you ship Zutara, Jasmine-Tea-Latte, why are you writing about Mai and Zuko’s relationship?”

My Zutarian followers to me right now, probably:

Meanwhile Mai and Zuko shippers who stumbled across this post are undoubtedly saying something like:

or maybe even:

Hear me out, though!

When I wrote Mai's scenes in chapters 2 and 3 of the finale, initially that's all I planned to do with her, since I had already given her closure and a happy ending.

But then I started thinking, how did she eventually reach that point? Suddenly, I wanted to explore her journey as well.

I took some creative liberties here and there with some characterizations and the timeline, but overall I tried to keep it as in-character as possible. I also reference some things from the comics, but I do change things up.

Mai goes through a rough time (as one does when they get dumped via letter and their ex moves on immediately), but she does get her happy ending once it’s all over. I didn’t put her through any heartbreak I myself have not experienced (minus dating an actual prince, obvs.)

Speaking of... Zuko does not get off scot-free, either. He gets called out for his actions as a less-than-stellar boyfriend, too. Both sides have their faults, and both sides have a point here.

Not your average Zuko/Katara fic, NOT a Ma!ko one either (hence why I’m not tagging it as such), although it does cover their relationship and the fallout from her point of view.

So, we’ll see how well this goes over. Maybe I jumped the shark with this entry, but you never grow or learn if you don’t step out of your comfort zone, right?

Fun fact: this was supposed to be a oneshot, but my A.D.D. (or muse) kicked in, and it ended up being the longest entry I’ve written in the series at 27K+ words.

Lastly, if this isn’t your cup of tea, no fear - the next entries I’m currently working on get right back to the Zutara and/or steambabies goodness.

[soniabigcheese]

3, 7 and 10 ... if you ask 3 you're getting 3 back LOL

Okay, point taken. 

3. What’s your favorite Genre to write?

Ohh, easy, Sci Fi, that’s where you can really stretch your imagination. Hence my sway towards Thunderbirds as it is set in the not too distant future

7. Any personal headcanons you’d like to share?

Not off the top of my head, as I tend to jump around and try different things, but always return to the old ‘tried and true’ because I don’t want my hand getting slapped

10. What do you find is the hardest thing to write about?

Funnily enough, I can’t bring myself to cause my characters any major harm. Thing is, and weirdly enough, my mindset is focused on a younger audience, because the Thunderbirds or at least TAG is focused on a target audience of kids. So I’ve limited myself to writing for them. 

Plus ... see question 7 I don’t want my hand slapped for stepping out of my comfort zone.

Yeah, I know, I’m way too cautious for my own good. Maybe I should step over that invisible line now and then and test the waters a little.

[lieusacre]

getting to know my deck

i found these questions on someone’s blog on how to get to know your deck better. here’s the link: https://daily-tarot-girl.com/learn-tarot/how-connect-with-your-tarot-deck-3-easy-steps/

i asked the questions and shuffled and went with whichever card dropped for me first. i will be referring to the card images a lot but i will not be including the images. i’ll try my best to describe it. 

what kind of tarot deck are you? card: page of swords meaning from book: “this page of swords is a forceful communicator, who is assertive, and represents a test of wills. although young, she has learned to be just and forthright. she uses her sharp wit and intellect to solve problems and diffuse conflict” my depiction: judging by the image on the card and also the description from its guidebook, i get you a very a strong and assertive feeling. i feel as though the deck is telling me that she (i asked her what her gender was haha) will guide me and help me solve my problems and conflicts. i feel as though what is telling me is that it will not beat around the bush and jump right to the point and not “sugarcoat” things.

what issues/areas of life do you specialize in? card: three of wands meaning from book: “the three of wands is the card of exploration, adventure, visionaries, endless possibilities, and foresight.” (there’s more but i only put the main take from it in) my depiction: what i take from this card is exactly what the picture shows and what the book says. she specializes in helping us be more open and welcoming to new chapters/beginnings. hence, “exploration” and “adventure”. the term “endless possibilities” is what catches my attention the most because i feel like this deck will definitely help me open my eyes and see everything that the universe has to offer and push me to get out of my comfort zone.

what quality is most important in a tarot reader?  card: nine of swords & six of cups (both dropped for me) meaning from book: “the nine of swords is a card of guilt, anger, and regret. the figure portrayed in the card is taken to the ground in despair. she is paralyzed by fear and doubt, unable to move forward.” “six of cups is a card of nostalgia and pleasant childhood. it can represent remembering something happy from the past, reconnecting with old friends or simply desire to feel like a child again.” my depiction: this really intrigues me because both cards are complete opposites. the nine of swords is saying you are stuck in regret and unable to move forward and the six of cups is saying that although you wish to go back to a happy past, you understand that you have to move forward. what i take from this is that in order to be an effective tarot reader, you must have experiences from good to bad and accept them. with these experiences, you learn to grow from them and apply them to your readings.

[boyslaughplus]

Devlog #39 - Teal's Art Pt.1 - A Dark Place

Okay lovely people, this blog had a little summer break but we’re back with content! (ﾉﾟ▽ﾟ)ﾉ Actually with a little back log of content. In this post Pectin shows how he worked on a painting!

Our last devlog on tumblr was #36. We’re jumping over #37 and #38 and get right to #39 ‘cause #37 & #38 were announcements that aren’t relevant anymore. (They are on our homepage tho. We always cry about them on twitter first!).

This devlog has been written by @pekuchin on one specific artwork that appears in  //TODO: today. More from him now: “Now that introductions are made, a few notes: First, the artwork I'm discussing has been created in July 2017. So there're minor details I'm not sure of anymore - like brush settings. Second, I used Clip Studio Paint and Photoshop (only the default round brushes).  And third, I hope you can take something away from this and enjoy the read. <3

What for?

Like every asset I make for any project I have to be sure of the context in which it'll be used or appear. I've revealed before that this piece was supposed to be shown in the game as "Teal's art"

It appears to represent Teal's artistic style

and the player will see four stages of the picture as they're involved in the making of it.

In the story, Teal would make this piece for a competition hosted by the fictional games company "Naughty Cat". The competition asked artists to draw anything related to "Titan Watch Online", a MMORPG Teal loves to play:

The setting is a dystopian future

and characters have classes and skills reminiscent of popular fantasy MMORPGs.

Teal plays as a character that combines elements of a rogue and a healer.

All of these points are on my checklist of what we needed of  the artwork in the game.

Expressing Teal's Mind

Based on my assumption that experience, personality and mood shape the artstyle, I thought about what kind of artstyle Teal would have. Because Teal already has been an artist in their past, I thought it sensible that they had a good grasp of basics like colours/light, composition and contrasts, etc.. So I focused on the workflow and visual expressions they would use. Here I browsed for artists and their work online to find inspiration too. While I had the checklist I also came up with new ideas as I tried things out on the canvas.

Stage One

Teal wasn't at peace with themself back then. So the motif of inner conflict came to me. We also concluded that Teal would most likely paint their own avatar. Like I mentioned before the character was kind of a healer and rogue hybrid.

I struggled to find a cool pose and ended up having the main character of the illustration sit as if to heal a wounded ally. To make it more interesting I gave him a dagger. Like this, it's unclear if the character hurt the other or helps them. I liked this ambiguity in relation to Teal's situation. This sketch was done in Clip Studio Paint because I like making anything line-related in CSP best.

Stage Two

Here I switched to Photoshop and began putting colours on top a black canvas. I got a feeling of how I wanted the lighting to be at this stage as well.

Although Joyce helped Teal pick up the pen again, Teal was basically depressed at that point in the story so they likely felt more comfortable using darker colours and motifs. I chose this for the symbolical meanings of darkness and the related emotions as well. Also I don't want to generalize and believe that depression comes in all kinds of colours. (ﾉ~o~)ﾉ

To keep myself from getting lost in details I decided to paint everything on one layer and only duplicated the layer to document the progress.

Stage Three

The ugly phase. Every painting I do has an ugly phase which immediately occurs after I seriously start messing around. ( ･ิ,_ゝ･ิ) This one isn't in the game as an asset and I'm glad for it. The number of pieces that appeared in the game depended on the instances in //TODO: today when Teal actually sat down to paint. And back then we considered having 5 instances but settled on 4 in the end.

I was pretty proud of the background, which was intended to be a dark back alley but accidentally turned into a roadside at night. :'3 Because everything was on one layer, I finished the background first before I began painting the character "on top".

Stage Four

From stage three I really got into "the zone" while shaping out the characters. Because I mostly work with lines and flat colours, I noticed how "3 dimensional" painting feels to me. It's quite fun! (ノ゜▽゜)

Back when I did the character concept designs for Teal I also imagined them to be kind of sloppy. Hence an artstyle without immaculately drawn lines, but blocky shapes where you can still see the paint strokes would fit. (I was also under time-pressure and didn't want to over-complicate things.)

At this point one could declare the painting as finished. So after the player bothered to sit down with Teal and Joyce to work on the Naughty Cat competition artwork they would be rewarded with this illustration (which was hopefully satisfying for your eyes).

Stage Five

And for the really motivated artists who went a step further this one was the glammed up version of the preliminary stage. The last 10-5% that make the illustration a bit more eye-catching. Here I played around with "Overlay" layers to balance the composition, shift the focus on the readability of painting (character > long arm > healing hand > unconscious person), added some magenta blood and added Teal's official artist signature.

I thought it would be interesting for the avatar to have some kind of resemblance to Teal. Did you spot the similarities? (^0^)

Altogether I did the painting on two evenings. And I believe in three sessions, which is my usual way to go when I don't have time for more breaks.

1st Session: OKAY imma do the art!! And I only need to make 3 sketches this time...promise! 2nd Session: OH GODS it so ugly. I have to stand up and walk away to give my eyes a break from this thing I created. 3rd Session: I've returned to my ugly child with new insights into live and fresh eyes that actually spot mistakes! Time to fix things up!

And that's all of it today. I hope you liked the extra info on my work and have a nice [week]! (๑ ́ᄇ`๑)”

This devlog was originally posted on the 13th June 2019 :3

[alo-piss-trancy]

Hello, you have been identified as An Awesome Writer™! Congrats, you rock! So that all of your readers can shower you with some extra love today, please tell us your favorite five (or as many as you want) stories of yours and why you like them and then send this to another five fic authors you think deserve this title! ❤

Gee, I wonder who this could be from? c; (Thank you so much I love you!)

Okay so I’m doing seven because as you all know from my zillion ships and characters I’ve written for/screamed about, I’m incapable of picking a specific favourite lmao. But it’s still less than half my fics so it’s fine. Also none of these are ranked, I enjoyed them all equally tbh. (Forgive my lack of heart emojis RIP, I’m on desktop for this one)The Troubles Rain Can Bring (Pers/ona 5) : Of course I have to bring this one up, since it’s the one I consider my first legit omo fic (Jade was my first foray, but since it’s unfinished and I picked a dead fandom specifically so I had less chances of getting mean comments, I consider it more of a practice run). This was my first time writing for a very active and current fandom, so it was really intimidating, but I was also really excited to participate in creating for a game I was so passionate about! Also that fic was just a total labour of self-indulgence and love (excuse for fluff with my otp? combining all my fav tropes? Gratuitous Akira Suffering? Including the others for fun towards the end? I was in hog heaven!) While I definitely can find parts where I could improve the writing now, I still love it for all of the effort I put into it, and I got such a lovely response that made me feel really welcome on ao3, the omo tag on tumblr, and in the p/5 fandom! It’s kind of nostalgic for me, even if it was only written like a year and a half ago, haha.All Bottled Up (Dang/anRonpa: THH) : I’m just really proud of this fic, and I had so much fun writing it! I think it’s probably one of the few fics I’ve written that was a completely smooth ride of inspiration and fun from start to finish, without any hitches in the writing process or me getting bogged down with other projects. Seriously I think I hammered the entire thing out in like a week or two lmao. I love Naegiri so much, and the idea was a treat to work with even if it’s some of the most cliché omo scenarios, it was just a nice relaxing bit of indulgence! Also I got to dig into Kirigiri’s character, which I didn’t get to do in my other fic of her (since that one was so short and oddly styled). My favourite bit was probably getting to mess with the drawbacks of her gloves/hand injuries, and of course those fluffy bits with Naegi! Getting Your Feet Wet (Pers/ona 5) : This one, hoo boy. Definitely one of my longest fics, and while at the time when I posted it I kind of hated half the stuff in it (just because I had been nitpicking it for so long lmao), now that time has gone by I can genuinely say I love it and it’s probably one I’m proudest of. Not only was it my first full dive into snut (and I’d like to think it isn’t too shabby), but I got to work with a rarepair that I’ve been intrigued by, with two of my fav npcs from the game! So fun times all around! It was great to imagine how Sae might have changed and opened up since the game’s ending, and what Tae could do to help draw her out of that strict shell while still making her feel secure and comfortable. Also I got to include pet/p.lay which is something I’d been dying to write since I started that account, so bonus points for that! And I got a way better response than I was expecting, so that was nice!A Sinking Ship (Pers/ona 5) : ((Okay I swear I still plan to update the other half of this one someday soon, I literally have the draft halfway done I just haven’t been able to get it finished to the level I want.)) Anyways, I have a soft spot for this one because 1. It’s Makoto, and you all know how much I adore her, 2. I finally got to write some legit palace battling and shenanigans, which I really enjoyed and want to include more of in future projects, 3. I literally put so much detail into this one, from the setting descriptions to the dialogue and going out of my way to include the entire team interacting with her instead of just one or two chars, and I’m giving myself a fat pat on the back for that. And then throwing in actual anxiety and plot issues instead of just making her desperate for the sake of it, which may have been ambitious (hence why it’s kind of on a cliffhanger right now while I finish the comfort half), but I really just wanted her to have one of my best fics possible because Makoto deserves the best (of the worst suffering oops sorry bby). Also did I mention The Shumako Bridal Carry scene? That was absolutely necessary to include okay? Also there’s gonna be quality Shumako bonding in the second chapter so I’m biased to love this in advance. Basically I love this one specifically because it’s my own self-indulgent bullshit, which is kind of every fic I write but this is definitely one of The Most Indulgent. I also consider this one my very best omo fic in terms of the actual omo writing/content, even if it’s long AF, because at least you’re getting desperation and wetting for pretty much the entire thing, even when other stuff’s going on around it. So yeah I guess if you don’t mind a cliffhanger ending (for now) and have a decent knowledge of p/5, this is the one I recommend reading!Conundrums Lead to Collapse (Doc/tor Who - 13th Doc/tor) : I really liked writing this one because of the whump, actually. I rarely have excuses to injure characters for Even Worse Omo Suffering/Comfort, so the fact that I could write based on a canon injury was the perfect excuse! Also I’m just weak for the 13th Doctor so I’m always down for omo of her, but it was also a fun excuse to explore her character. We hadn’t gotten to see her angry or broken down at the time it aired, so I enjoyed getting to play around with how things affect her when she does finally lose the positive attitude and confidence, and bringing a character as powerful (and semi immortal I guess) as The Doctor to the floor was just a fun exercise. Also it’s kind of hard to find whump fics focused on female characters that don’t involve a certain kind of violence (or just female whump in general actually), so I just really enjoyed using all of the fandom tropes I’ve read over the years in those fics to create something for those of us who wanted it the other way around! I would also like to say this one gave me the excuse for Found Family Coddling, everyone comforts and helps her towards the end which is perfect for my fluff-craving heart after all of the angst.Holding More than Cards (Ka/kegurui Compulsive Gambler) : Oh boy, I’ll be honest the reason I love this is purely because it’s pretty much the only fic for this pairing that I’ve found for my tastes and I had to make it myself dang it (They basically had a whole two episodes where Midari creamed herself for Yumeko and they had that scene where they held each other’s faces staring into their eyes, HOW is no one jumping on this ship??? There’s literally 5 fics total on ao3 I’m not joking). I really enjoyed getting to dig into Midari’s characterization for this one, especially since I had such a tiny bit of canon to go off of and had to set it after the anime’s s1 developments. I got to write Yumeko being a dom and dropping her cheerful attitude too, which was really satisfying. Also while this doesn’t have full on snut in it, it was the closest I’d come at the time, so that was an interesting challenge. This was a rare chance to indulge in unhealthy ships too (bc literally every ship in that show is unhealthy on some level lmao) so that was entertaining to try and navigate.Capture the Fly with Nectar Sweet (The Ch/illing Adventures of Sabrin/a) : I just posted this one recently but I’m adding it anyways, because I had an absolute blast working on it. It’s so starkly different from anything I usually write, because you all know I love close friendships and found family and all that quality fluff and caring. But instead this one was me staring at my laptop thinking of how I want to tell this character to go to hell, except that would be pointless because that’s literally where she came from. I really got to stretch my wings outside my comfort zone and dig around in the dark, manipulative side for a while, and it was so much fun to study one of my favourite villains (anti-hero? she’s such a mysterious mess idk how to classify her) and her relationship with Sabrina. I also got to attempt writing desperation from the outsider’s perspective instead of the victim’s, and while I feel like I definitely still have room to improve with that, it was a nice break from the way I usually write my omo fics. I also got to shift around my writing style for this one, using words like ‘betwixt’ (which I love but never get to use lol) and using a bunch of metaphors and similes to showcase how Madam views Sabrina. This is probably the fic that makes it obvious that Language Arts was my favourite subject in school and that I’m Extra when it comes to predator/prey comparisons lmao. (Note: Please read the tags on this one, the Dead Dove: Do Not Eat warning applies here.)

I actually don’t know who else to send this to that I haven’t already, since like half the omo tag has vanished and I’m blanking on usernames, so if any of y'all are reading this post and you write fics: consider this me asking you to do it so I can hear about your fics! :D

[yesparesh]

what to do when you bored on free time

We  turn  on  our  T.V.  or  our  Gaming  Console  we  medicate  ourselves  with  weed,  Alcohol, Drugs  and  etc..just  burn  time .

what to do when your bored time , what to do when your bored on  free time,things to do when bored, What  is  complete  waste?  ,  if  you  are  even  the  slightest  bit  serious  about  becoming  a  winner  in  the  Game  of  life..Here  are  the  10  most  importance  things  you  need  start  spending  your  time  on.

Watch  behind  scenes  of  science  fiction  movies  and  VFX setup  -- Please  watch film  making videos  or  behind  scenes of   your  favorite  movies  like   Hollywood  movies --| Avatar, Avengers  End  game, The  jungle  book, Game of  thrones, Man  Of  Steel,  Superman vs  Justice  league, 2012, Final  destination 5,  Aqua-man, Spider  man-2, Fast  &  Furious  series, Maleficent -2, The  Matrix  Reloaded, Annabelle, Alita: Battle  Angel, The  Twilight  Saga: all series, Life  Of  Pi. Bollywood  movies:--  Fan, Doom-3, Bahubali,  The  Kapil  Sharma  Show, M.S  Dhoni:,  Zero,  Rotot 2.0

Exercise:-  I  think  exercise  is  a  no  brainer,  the  sheer  benefits  alone  are  just  staggering  and  if  you  guys  are  not  exercise  already  I  suggest  you  start  dusting  off  those  old  trainers  and  get  yourself  moving. Just  to  name  a  few  benefits  of  exercise;  You'll  look  better,  you  will  lose  weight,  you'll  become  lean,  you  will  gain   muscle  if  you  want to,  and  generally   you  will  become  fit  as  a  fiddle.  And  these  are  just  the  physical   benefits  of  exercise. Other  include,  improved  sleep,  improved  memory,  improved  less  depression,  and  thanks  to  the  endorphins  released  during  exercise   you  will  feel  much  better   and  happier,  plus  so  many  more  benefits! Plus  you  get  to  live  longer  too..      Now  this  second  task  is  crucial  with  so  much  free  time  on  our  hands  we  need  to  have  the  energy  To  be  active,  during   this  time. A  few  centuries  ago  we  used  to  move  around  and  lift  things, Almost  all  of  our  jobs  required  us  to  work  out  our  bodies  whether  it  had  be  tending  to  the  farms  or  creating  tools  in  the  workshop  But  now  most  of  us  work  behind  computer  screens  and  registers   we  are  not  getting  the  right  amount  of  exercise   that  our  body  needs  to  function  properly. It's  actually  been  proven  by  studies  that  people  who  workout   have  more  energy  throughout  the  day.

Develop  a  hobby  or  skill:-  There  is  a high  probability  that  the  reason   you  are  bored  is  that  you  are  uninspired  to  do  anything,  or  you  simply  have  nothing  to  do. You  can  easily  deal  with  both  issues  simply  by  developing  a  new  skill or  a  new  hobby.  So  let's  assume  my  friend  Derrick,  when  Derrick  was  a  lot  younger,  he  had  always  wanted  to  learn  how  to  play  the  guitar. It  was  one  of  those  things,  that  he  would  tell  himself   that  he  would  start  working  on,  but  never  actually   got  around  to ever   doing it,  and  he  would  always   blame  the  lack  of  time  for  not  ever  getting  started.  Unfortunately  a  lot  of  us  suffer  from  this  form  of  procrastination  and  Derrick   is  no  exception. But  fortunately  for  him  he  now  has  some  time  on  his  hands. If  you  have  nothing  to  do,  and  are  hence,  bored,  you  should  think  about  developing  a  new  skill  or  founding  a  new  hobby.  Hobbies  includes  cycling,  making   new  friends.  and  traveling,  among  others.  You  can  use  them  to  get  out  of  your  comfort  zone   and  challenge  yourself  some  more. For  example,  bungee  jumping  is  a  pretty  crazy   hobby,  and  doing  it  could  give  you  the  courage  to  finally  start  that  company  you  keep  talking  about.  Other  productive  things  you  can  do  are..

Start a  business:-  We  live  in  an  age  where  it's  never  been  easier  to  start  a  business  or  a  side  hustle  and  start  make  a  living  from  it. The  internet   has  fundamentally  changed   the  way   people  and  business  do  things, and  it  has  literally  created   hundreds  of  different  ways  to  make  money  online  and  earn  a  living  from  it. You  can  start  a  blog,  write  a  book,  start  an  Instagram  page,  do  Shopify   or successful  YouTube  channel,nice. There  is  literally  a  ton  of  different  ways  to  make  money  online,  you  just  need  to  do  a  bit  of  research,  start  something,  stick  to  it  and  don't  give  up.

Read  a Book:-  Successful  people  never  stop  learning,  and  reading  books  is  in  fact  a  great   way  to  get  inspired  and  motivated.  increase  your  knowledge  and  also  your  income.  Books  teleport   you  into  a  whole  new  world.  Some  books  take   you  to  the starts,  and  you  meet  a  guy  like  Han  solo  while  other  take  you  into  Westeros, where   seven  kingdoms  with   the  craziest  people  are  found. Some   book will  teach  you  how  to  develop  a  new  skill,  others  about  our  history, while   others   will  teach   you  something   new  and  interesting  about  our  world.  Reading  books  is  a  sure  fire  way  to  increase   ones  knowledge. Also  it  makes  you  a  more  interesting   person  to  talk  to.

Evaluate  Your  Goals  and  set Plans:-  I  known  all  of  us  have  some  goals  we  would  like  to  achieve,  whether  you  wrote  them  down on  a  piece  of   paper  or  stored  them  in  your  minds  memory  box,  we  all  have  goals  and  aspirations  we  would  like  to  achieve. So  since  you  are  bored...and  supposedly  have  nothing  better  to  do? why  not  start  evaluate  your  goals?  If  you  are  interested,  here's  a  tip! Make  short  and  long-term  plans  of  how  you  intend  to  achieve  your  goals. In  that  moment  you  are  mindlessly  starting  at  the  celling  and  wondering  whether  that  girl  in  the  office  likes  you,  begin  planning  in  your  mind  how  you  intend  to  achieve  your  goals. A  good  tip  I  learned  from  the  7  Habits  of  highly  effective  people  by  Stephen  Covey  is  to  begin  with  the  end  in  mind. See  yourself  already  achieving  the  goal  and  work  your  way  backwards. For  Example  let's  say  Derrick,  plans  on  buying  a  car  this  year. What  he  can  do  is,  start  putting  aside  a  little  cash  every  day  or  week,  by  cutting  down on  unnecessary  expenses.

Meditate:- One  of  the  most  productive  things  you  can  do  in  your  spare  time  is  to  meditate. And  I  known  what  you  are  thinking,  productive?  Meditation?---Can  those  two  even  go in  the  same  sentence? Is  not  that  a  self-contradicting  statement! And  I  known  a lot  of  you  are  probably  thinking   this,  but  meditation  is  one  of   the  most  important  and  productive   habits  you  can  foster. There  are  literally  thousands  of  studies  which  support   that  even  meditating  for  only  5  minutes  in  a day  can  lead  to a  plethora  of  benefits. My  favorites  being  peace  of  mind  and  happiness...and  I  know  meditation  can  seem  like  one of  the  most  boring  mundane  things  in  the  world,  especially  when  you are  bored,  but  the  benefits  are  worth it? If  you  can  not  sit  still  when  things  are  totally  silent,  try  guided  meditation. If  enough  of  you  guys  are  interested  may be  I'll  even  add  one  to  my  channel  some  day.

Do  some  chores :-- Do me  a  quick  favor  and  just  take  a  look  around  your  house  or  bedroom  and  tell  me  what  you see.  If  your  house  is  anything  like  my  friend--Derricks,  it's  probably  a  disaster.  So  here's  what  you  can  do..  start  cleaning  and  arranging  your  house. I  know  doing  chores  can  be  one  of  the  most  boring  tasks  in  the  world,  believe  me  I  know!  But  walking  back  home  to  a  clean  neat  house  after  the  end  of  a  hard  day's  work  is  definitely  worth  it. To  make  the  task  more  appealing,  switch  on  some  good  music;  something  you  can  sing  or  dance  along  to;  something  that  warms  up  your  blood. Turn  up  the  volume  and  then  fire   up  the  washing  machine.  Who  said  only  characters  in  movies  get  to  dance  when  cleaning  their  houses?  Before  you  know  it, you  will have  gotten  your  chores  out  of  the  way,  and  you  will  probably  be  felling  very  exhausted,  but  also  a  lot  happier  and  hopefully  you  will  have  a  sense  of  accomplishment.

Take  a  class:--  Why  not  learn  something  new,  a  new  language,  try  out  a new  cooking  recipe,  take  an  online  course  or  just  about  anything ..there  are  tons  and  tons  of  new  skills  you  can  add   to  your  arsenal,  and  best  of  all  you  do  not  have  to  pay  to learn  most  of   them. For  example  I  learned  how  to  animate  by  watching  videos  here  on  YouTube. And  in  a  few  weeks  I  will  be  taking  a  personal  finance  course,  which  means  I  should  have  some  great  new  content  for  you  guys!

Plans  your  year  and  mark  important  dates.:-  Perhaps  you got  a  couple  birthdays  and  weddings  you  should  probably  mark  on  your  calendar.  And  finally  last  but  not  least.  Clear  your  damn  web  history!  I means  some  of  the  things  you  guys  are  browsing  online,  my  word! I'm  just  kidding  guys,  I  know  the  practical  wisdom  community   are  innocent  folks. At  least I  hope  so. Ok  so  finally,  perhaps  a  job,  if  you  do  not  already  have  one.

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what to do when your bored time , what to do when your bored on  free time,things to do when bored  If   you  have  learn  anything  from  this  Article   then  please  share  with  your  friends...

[moonraccoon-exe]

Smol child Iggy

Smol, smol child Iggy.

Baby Iggy in a tonberri onesie.

One of baby Iggy’s first word was “please”.

The next was “thank you.”

The next was “Sowwy.”

2 y.o. Iggy imitating the adults’ formal dances with his moogle plush toy as companion.

3 y.o. Iggy was denied having a pet.

3 y.o. Iggy adopting a rock instead.

3 y.o. Iggy always keeping his rock’s water near it in case it gets thirsty.

3 y.o. Iggy sad cause Lord Petram Lapis Ishi Iwa the First is lonely and sad.

3 y.o. Iggy adopting a stick so it’s companion to his rock.

4 y.o. Iggy falling and scrapping his knees. 

4 y.o. Iggy’s crying, attend him. ;_____;

4 y.o. Iggy attended by Lord Clarus because mama and papa Scientia are too busy.

4 y.o. Iggy forcing himself not to cry while he’s being healed and trying to fake he’s fine because “papa says I shouldn’t cry cause that’s going to make me dumb.”

4 y.o. Iggy crying when Lord Clarus plants a hand on his head and looks at him with furrowed eyebrows because “and not crying will make you a coward. You don’t value intelligence over honor, do you?”

The person that the Citadel’s doctor sees most is child Iggy…

…because smol kid Iggy insists on bringing him injured animals.

“DOCTOR IGAKU, this dog has a cut on her paw :’(”

“Doctor Igaku, I found this kitten, I think she’s sick. Could you please help us?”

“Doctor Igaku, I think this butterfly is sad. It’s not flying :’(”

“Doctor Igaku, I found this baby bird that fell off its nest, I NEED YOUR HELP.”

Smol kid Ignis appears at the door hugged to a big frog.

“Ignis, son, I’m very grateful for your attention but I’m not a vet, I’ve told you…”

“Yes, but there is no royal veterinarian. Look at him, he’s hurt. Please, do something, Mister Igaku. He can’t hop, and a frog that can’t jump is a sad frog.”

5 y.o. Iggy writing a full paper with the most formal and the smartest words he knows and sending it to the king.

It’s a petition to hire a “Royal Veterinary” because “The frogs and worms and dogs and kittens and birds sleep and eat and play here, so they live here, and that makes them Insomnian citizens too and they too have rights of health.”

Back to 3 y.o. Iggy.

Cor walks on in Regis carrying 3 y.o. Iggy in the middle of a hallway nearby the garrison zone of the Citadel. Iggy has a bath robe and the hair wet and he’s looking a bit sad.

“Ah, Cor" the king turns to Ignis “Perhaps we could ask him for help? He’s a very brave man and could deal with the situation for us.”

3 y.o. Iggy is very embarrassed and insists he doesn’t want to bother anyone, but Cor still asks what the matter is and if everything is in order.

“Cor, I’ll ask you to guide this child back to the guest’s bathroom his family uses when they need to stay overnight and help him. Bring your sword.”

“Y-Your Majesty, is everything in order? Is there any danger?”

“Tell him, Ignis.”

It takes 3 y.o. smol child Ignis a whole minutes because he still doesn’t want to bother THE Immortal Cor. 

“…there’s piranhas in the tub.”

Regis is smiling when Ignis is not seeing him.

Cor does accompany Iggy back to the bathroom.

He locks the door behind himself and DOES pretend to be hitting something.

“I got rid of them all. You can bath in peace, kid.”

3 y.o. Ignis is SO EXCITED but won’t say or show it, because damn, Cor the Immortal just got rid of the evil invisible piranhas of the tub FOR HIM.

Smol kid Iggy playing nurse everywhere.

He’s been taught to grow into some sort of second-hand and helper of any situation, so he’s taking it seriously and plays nurse and mom everywhere he goes.

“*gasp* Oh, no. Lord Clarus, you look a bit blushed. Do you have a fever? Let me- could you come down for a moment? I can’t reach your forehead- thank you. Hmm…hmm…you feel fine, mister Amicitia, please take care, you’re very important to the king and the kingdom.”

“*gasps* Oh no, Gladiolus, are you okay? Be careful, you could have hit your head. The floor is a bit slippery, we should check you didn’t hurt your knees, let me see. Hmm…hmm…they look okay, are you okay?”

“*gasps* Oh no, your Majesty, you have a cut on your finger, oh no, we should- we should call for the doctor, and don’t worry, look, we hold your finger like this so it doesn’t bleed and- I know it’s not bleeding anymore, but we should take precou- preque- precautions, your Majesty, you’re so important, we should- my father has a pair of gloves, I could ask him for them and then I can give them to you and then the paper won’t cut you again and you’ll be okay.”

“*gasps* oh no, the baby’s crying, I should- the prince shouldn’t be crying, can I- what if he’s hurt, can I carry him? I’m four, I’m a big boy, I can carry him, the queen used to do like *motions* when she carried him and the king is busy, so it’s up to me now, right? Can I- let me carry him, he’s so small, he shouldn’t be crying :’(”

“*gasps* Oh no, mister the Immortal, you have a bruise on your face, are you okay? Come on, let’s go to the kitchen, they should have ice, and it’s closer than the doctor’s office and the doctor is busy, and I want to help, that bruise will get bad if we don’t do something.”

“Ignis, kiddo, I’m fin-”

“You sit down here and I- *climbs up another chair* and I apply the ice and it’ll be okay.”

By the way:

Smol kid Ignis thinks Cor’s last name is “the Immortal”.

Hence “Good morning, Mr. the Immortal”, “Good afternoon, Mr. The Immortal”, “do you have a Mrs. the Immortal, sir?”

A younger smol kid Ignis also used to think “your Majesty” was Regis’ name.

This means Ignis thinks Regis’ full name is “Your Majesty King Regis Lucis Caelum the one hundred thirteen.”

Smol kid Ignis practiced saying the name daily for three months to get it right and from heart.

Smol kid Ignis avoiding all puddles he sees.

Mama told him to always stay perfectly clean in every inch of his body because he’s being educated by royalty, so the least he can do is look presentable and the best. 

Smol kid Ignis getting super angry when smol kid Gladio stomps in the puddles for fun.

Smol kid Ignis learning he’s growing up to be also a tutor to the prince.

So smol kid Ignis is super nervous about it and tries to rehearse on his own.

Smol kid Ignis basically breaking down in front of the king when he went tell him that he’s “not worth teaching your son, I’m just 8 and I’m not smart enough.”

King Regis making space in his schedule, even though the rest of the week will be extra super tight on him, so that he spends an evening in a room all alone with Ignis; he asked smol kid Ignis to “teach me what you learned in algebra the other day. I don’t understand it, and I’m king, so I should learn, right? Can you teach me, son?”

Regis SO knows algebra, but he will never be more grateful he asked for this, because

Smol kid Ignis extra super damn excited because he’s teaching the king himself, “I’m super smart! The KING himself came to ask me something, I’m so smart! :)”

Smol kid Ignis growing confident because of that.

Smol kid Ignis hugs every book he sees and thanks it for existing.

Smol kid Ignis hugs the trees and thanks them for existing.

Smol kid Ignis apologizes to the rocks he accidentally kicks.

Smol kid Ignis puts his hands to his cheeks and says “Oh no!” if he accidentally drops something.

He does that too when the most unimportant thing goes wrong.

It’s concerning that he overworries so much, but honestly the “*gasps* oh no!” is adorable, dammit.

5 y.o. Iggy meeting other kids that try to bully him.

5 y.o. Iggy delivering a mean comeback and learning words and information can cause greater harm than kicks or insults. 

5 y.o. Iggy is the devil, he just discovered his brilliant strategist mind.

Smol kid Iggy growing up into having to read a lot and enjoying to read through dictionaries.

Oversmart kid + dictionary + the mind of a child = that’s how he grew up turning into the Master of Puns.

Smol kid Iggy will ask for Regis when he’s hurt.

Scrapped his knee? Kid Iggy can stay sat there, quietly crying because he doesn’t want to bother anyone, and when you find him he’ll cry harder and sob “M-mister your m-majesty…”

Only way Ignis will stop crying is either you leave him alone (wrong!) or you get Regis to comfort him.

Even though he’ll stay hugged to the king, smol Ignis will still apologize to Regis because “you should be working, your Ma-Majesty…”

Regis has always gladly changed work for comforting this little creature made of angel tears and purity.

Smol kig Iggy asking the royal chefs every now and then to bake some cookies or muffins.

Smol kid Iggy going around the Citadel gifting a cookie or muffin to the people he sees.

Smol kid Iggy using his save-ups to pay the chefs.

The chefs used to refuse it but it’s kid Iggy, you can’t say no to something like that because “it will stain his honor”.

Smol kid Iggy gets overly excited with some things he likes, but he’s too terribly, excruciatingly shy, and fears that adults may think he’s behaving like a baby, so he tries to hide his excitementwhen he sees something he likes.

There we have a smol kid Iggy seeing a moogle mascot; smol Iggy proceeds to grin and brounce over his feet, before his shyness wins and he just half-hides behind his adult in charge, embarrassed.

We have the luck that most of the adults in his charge know him well enough to recognize when smol Iggy is shy about what he likes, so they encourage him to have fun and that it’s okay.

Smol Iggy hugs the Immortal every time that Cor takes him out for a fun day.

Smol Iggy is so used to stay at the Citadel and study, he really, really, really appreciates it when someone takes him out. 

“Thank you, Mister the Immortal… :’)”

Smol kid Iggy pets smoler kid Noct constantly.

He pets him to comfort him when he’s sad, to cheer on him when he does something good, or to thank him.

Whenever smol kid Noct is scared of the monsters under the bed or in the closet, it’s smol kid Iggy who checks for him.

Smol kid Iggy is TERRIFIED of those monsters…

Smol kid Iggy is sometimes almost crying as he checks because he’s so scared.

He won’t tell Noct how scared he is, though. Smol kid Iggy checks despite his fear because he wants Noct to feel safe… :’)

Smol kid Iggy hearing the queen passed.

Clarus walks on in a pair of guards arguing with child Ignis nearby the king’s chambers.

“Stop, stop, what is this mess?”

“This kid wants to go into his Majesty’s bedroom without permission.”

“Ignis?”

“The queen has passed, right? So that means she’s in peace, but that also means her side of the bed is unoccupied, right? So your Majesty will have, from a night to the next one, all that space for himself, but he’s not big enough to fill the bed on his own, but nobody except the queen should be sleeping with him, but he also shouldn’t be so lonely in such a big bed, so I only wanted to leave my moogle in his room so that the empty space is occupied when he comes back and so that he has some company. Moogle is not a queen, but he also isn’t a person, so I thought he’d like it.”

“…oh. And…wouldn’t you miss your moogle, Ignis?”

“Of course I would! But the king must miss the queen more than I’d miss my moogle. Also, my bed is for one person, and the king’s bed is for two, so it’s silly we both sleep in one bed and the king sleeps alone. Also, I don’t want the king to be sad, and moogle can help. He’s a good listener”

Dammit, the guards let him through.

How can you deny him?

He’s like 4 but he’s so smart and uses that intelligence to do things like this.

HOW.

WHY.

HOW CAN HE BE SO SWEET *the guards are crying*

I’d try to write more adorable things, but to be honest Ignis is a pretty damn tragic character and I’d have to get terribly off canon just to see him smile, ahahaha ////3

Edit: This was the first of the “Smol kid” series; I didn’t write it too seriously and didn’t know I’d make it a series, so it’s the shortest. I’d like to write more for Smol child Iggy sometime soon. Hope you enjoyed that’s here, nonetheless. :)

SMOL KID IGGY.

He’s life. He needs cuddles and protection. Give them to him.

Here’s smol child Noctis.Here’s smol child Gladiolus.Here’s smol child Prompto.

[trailsoftravel-blog]

“Morning you had sighting here I guess”, asked our Guide as we drove along the forest path.

“Yes, we waited for ours till Patdeo joined her cubs in the waterhole out there”, I responded.

“These are her second set of cubs. Some of the previous ones were killed by one of the new males who have come in recent times”.

“But why?” – A tone of disgust accompanied my question.

“BMW and Raiyakasa were the dominant males in this part of the jungle, territory divided between them. The previous cubs were from BMW. These two new males came in and defeated BMW and Raiyakasa. As a norm, they will kill cubs of the previous male before they mate with the female. Out of 4, they killed two and two escaped. These are cubs of one of these new male tiger”.

Intriguing practices of the wild.

“Now we are passing the zone of Collarwali.” A name that struck a chord, but I couldn’t recollect why.

“Don’t think she will deliver any more cubs after having delivered 30.” That immediately reminded me that she holds the record on earth for being the tigress who has delivered maximum number of cubs.

“She lost how many” was my obvious next question after knowing about the phenomenon of the jungle where a male tries to kill a cub of a tigress with whom he intends to mate.

“All are alive” was the surprising response. And her cubs, some of who are now adults have been located in areas as far as Karnataka as well.

Nothing can be a more immersive experience than knowing the tales of the jungle as one roams through it. Maybe it is a legacy here – the land which prompted many stories of Mowgli by Rudyard Kipling. While Kipling probably never visited this zone, the description of the forests and mention of Seoni on quite a few occasions associates this zone to Jungle Book.

Every national park has multiple points of entry and ours were split across the most popular Turia Gate in MP and Khursapur Gate of Maharashtra. Sillari Gate is another popular point of entry but located quite far off if you are staying near Turia gate. If you are arriving the same day into Nagpur and then planning to arrive down to Pench, choose the safari from Turia Gate for that day, since it starts at 4 pm and stretches till 7 pm. The one at Khursapur starts at 3 pm and ends at 6-30pm. The morning safaris start at 5-30 am at both gates. While one needs to exit by 9-30 am at Khursapur, the one at Turia stretches till 10-30am.

It is exactly ten years later that I am back in Pench. Then it was winter. It was with my family, parents and in-laws. A long dreamt itinerary of my father – the jungles of MP. Pench was the last halt and we had only one safari scheduled. Yet, I vividly retain memories of that safari. Nowhere else, in all my forest trails, have I been welcomed by the Queen of the jungle herself – royally occupying the road as our gypsy were amongst the first two to enter that morning. She stayed along with us for quite a while and even waiting to pounce on a herd of deer that was approaching her, till they sensed her presence and moved away. It was also memorable since it was a photographic disaster of mine, with the gypsy driver constantly moving the vehicle in critical times, torn between my eagerness to stay close to the tiger and my father-in-law’s utter irritation and worry at being so close to the tiger. Also it probably presented thrills and excitements like no other safaris till recently, maybe the Almighty knew that was the last one my father was experiencing – his last sojourn into the wild before he passed away.

All the above feelings and experiences merged together, Pench was always on the list for a repeat visit. Being the peak of summer with Nagpur clocking the highest temperature in the country the previous week, the jungle seemed a lot barren than the dreamy memories I had. It is dominated by mixed forests with considerable shrub cover and open grassy patches. The meandering jungle path traverses through tall lanky trunks of saja, bijiayasal, lendia, haldu, dhaora, salai, aonla, amaltas on the Turia side and a lot of Teak trees on Khursapur side. Forest fire has destroyed quite a bit of all these trees and it gave a ghostly look to the landscape in patches, with only black trunks standing, devoid of branches and leaves. The path then unfolds itself into vast open stretches similar to African Savannah. Soon you are on the picturesque banks of Pench River – the river sparsely filled in these summer months. The poetic thoughts were hindered by a movement nearby – two jackals appear from nowhere and make their way down the slope of the bank to the river to quench their thirst. Binoculars help spot two tigers sitting far away, resting after satisfying their thirst.

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While mahua is often associated with forest lands in Chotanagpur belt of Jharkhand, Purulia & Odisha, here too Mahua has a dominant presence, not only in the jungles but in the life of the tribals here and also of the animals. Around March-April, the attraction of Mahua pulls the sloth bear out into these zones and chances of sighting them are high. We did chance upon one, but at a distance, trying to dig out the soil.

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The early morning darkness and the pleasant breeze before another dreadfully hot day is such a great motivator for waking up early. I don’t think, anything else makes me alert and awake as much in the wee hours of dawn, as the desire to foray into the wild. The langurs are taking their positions as they have realized that safari time has begun. The first rays of morning sun makes the Indian Roller look gorgeous as we stop to take a few snaps. The White Eye Buzzard seemed oblivious to our presence as it looked away, planning the day ahead. Nonchalance of the kingfisher was a camouflage which maynot be apparent to the fish but quite evident to us. The forest workers are on their prowl on elephant back to track tigers as they need to stay updated about locations of the animals and their status.

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We are back to Bono Dobri, near the waterhole, where now a tiger cub is playful with water.

“Cub of Patdeo”, our guide whispered. “The others should be around too”. And that’s where we decided to halt for the next couple of hours. It is critical to anticipate movement of the animals and attempt taking a position from where one can snap better. We kept exploring such a spot as we kept an eye at the waterhole. One cub, seemed to be quite enterprising as it kept coming over to the waterhole and going back, while the other two, probably weren’t as bold and hence proceeded with caution into the waters and became comfortable as their mother graciously walked in to join them. They greeted her into the waterhole by rubbing their faces against Patdeo and then they settled down, as a family for a while, in the waterhole.

The enterprising young cub kept moving in and out, while his two other siblings cuddled beside mother as obedient kids. Time flew by watching the ways of the family out there. Little did we realize that color of our skin has changed, exposed at length to such a strong sun of summer in that zone for hours, first in anticipation, and then in emancipation. Finally, mother decided that she had her share of sunbathing and walked out from the pool, yet again caressing her cubs. The enterprising cub had already moved away and the two others were confused for a while whether to embrace the cushy safety of mother or continue to relive themselves from the heat by staying in the waters.

The prolonged viewing of the above scene was too tempting and hence, all three of us jumped into the swimming-pool of our resort on coming back. We could empathize with the cubs and their unwillingness to move out of water.

The Nagpur cuisine with its liberal use of red chilies in the besan curry gravy and the beans subzi was the perfect catalyst to begin the afternoon safari with a bang. With the gypsy ahead of us standing still, we sensed sighting – and it was the semi—adult male cub of Langri, who was at a distant, peacefully taking a break. Seemed like it was waiting for our arrival, post which it started moving towards us. Past trails in the wild have given some idea about the possible movements of the fauna in the wild and was happy that could guide the gypsy to a place where we were in perfect position to snap him as he walked onto the road and crossed over. As a child, I was taught that whenever you cross a road, first look right, then left and again right and then decide. I am sure Langri must have taught him the same since he followed that as he crossed over.

The strong winds seemed even stronger amidst trees as we set out for the afternoon safari. The battle for the sky was evident between clouds and sun, just like the battle for gaining ground is an eternal truth in the wild. Lack of previous experience of a shower during safari dampened us partly as it started raining. But avid enthusiasts like us refused to succumb in and have the cover pulled up on the Gypsy.

“Herbivores seem to be less here”, I checked with our guide. In fact we have only seen one Nilgai and one herd of Sambar near a water-body in two days. Spotted deer, of course has been an occasional sighting.

Our guide agreed and said hence tigers come out often in search of their feed.

“What about Indian Gaur?” (or Bison as some also refer to them as). He explained how the construction of a new dam has changed the course of the Pench river and portions, through which the river used to run has developed into swampy grasslands and Gaurs get their kind of food better there and less of predators.

“Sir, your words were heard, look on the right.” The dark black mound like thing slowly unfolded itself as a large Indian Gaur, tearing the bark of a tree. Those barks are high on fiber and hence favourite food for the Gaurs. We stopped a little ahead, in an anticipation, that if it walks straight down, it will be right in front of us. Patience and hope converged to pull the Gaur slowly towards the edge of the road. And for a wildlife photo enthusiast, an animal crossing over is a coveted moment to capture. Not often I have seen a Gaur of this size, with a charismatic hump, decorative horns with colors emanating from them.

My companions were fast asleep. I walked out in the verandah to smell the nature and hear her silence. I looked up – the moon seemed to be throwing rays of hope through a small gap amidst the trees.

We kept wondering what made Bindu (tigress) afraid and move out just after we got a passing sight of her? Was there a bigger tigress somewhere amidst the tall grasses ahead? It remained unanswered.

In Tadoba, our first tryst with a tiger was when we chanced upon Maya sleeping. As I shared in my blog on Tadoba, I had never waited so long for anyone to wake up, the way I did at Tadoba for Maya to wake up. But when our Guide said “Paras sighted” after receiving a call, the gypsy driver sped through the jungle roads to reach the spot in next 5 minutes. But Paras seemed sleepy, utterly irritated at our presence. So long, we have seen gracious or aggressive looks of a tiger. But here, Paras seemed quite cute, her sleepy eyes, yawning and gently keeping her head on her paws trying to sleep was a sheer unusual sight. She got up from the water, walked down to a shade, sat for a while and then suddenly lied down on her side and off to sleep she went. From a tigress waking up to another one going to bed, it is a good cycle of experience for us.

There isn’t anything very different about Pench than many other similar forests in India. Yet, as I started writing, stories seems to be cropping up one after another. If this place can create so many stories for a non-literary soul like me, no wonder it helped the likes of Rudyard Kipling create chapters of stories.

This park indeed holds a special place in my mind for past experiences. Not sure when I will be back here again, but we will soon be back in this zone as we firmed up plans for our next wildlife travel-trail to Tippeshwar. The old favourite tune was running through my mind, aptly echoed when I heard my companion humming it with words

“Jungle jungle baat chali hai……pata chala hai”

Pensive Pench “Morning you had sighting here I guess”, asked our Guide as we drove along the forest path.